The Ultimatum South Africa The Reunion | No One Is Married |

[@zb182]

South African Zulu over here. Culturally, an engagement is only valid once lobola (dowry) is paid. So her not wearing the ring is probably out of respect to her family because theyre not engaged until lobola and umembeso is done. Also, the purpose of lobola is: a) for the man to demonstrate that the he has the means to take care of the lady he wants to marry; and b) unite the two families. The letter is the initial process of lobola negotiations. Its basically an expression of intent to marry the woman. The answers to whether its expensive to get married are actually both valid because it all depends on the price that the bride's family will set for the lobola (dowry) and how expensive the gifts are that the two families will be exchanging with each other. So if the woman's family sets the lobola price too low then its not expensive. But if they set the price to high then its expensive. So it can he expensive or inexpensive as the bride's family wants it to be. There have been couples that have been placed in a deadlock because the lobola price is set to high and the man cannot afford it. So that delayed the engagement/marriage process. At worst there have been couples who have broken up over the deadlock because the man realized he would never afford the lobola. Lastly, if you try bypass the lobola process without the families knowing (ie by eloping) then the families will not recognize that marriage as legitimate for cultural purposes. I had a friend who married an american and he was complaining all the way towards their marriage because of all the expenses he had to cough up for the lobola, the membeso, the gifts etc. But he did it anyway, begrudgingly because he understood that if he told her to skip all that and elope, her family would not recognize the marriage as legitimate for cultural purposes. So he had to adjust, albeit begrudgingly.

[@ItTakesTwoShow]

Great insight! Thanks for the explanation!

[@MochaFluere]

Great explanation. And as he says, it really is as expensive as the family will make it. In my case we did a symbolic price of one Rand (let's say a dollar). My family took a philosophical perspective to this practice, which, unfortunately, is being perverted in a lot of families these days, where it becomes more about money then the symbolic significance. Further, my family understands that in today's society, especially as black people already being on a back foot economically, marriage and building a family, should start from the onset by working towards financial stability, not take away from it. Hence some marriages have the 'grudge' hanging over it throughout the marriage. The excessive amounts that some families demand creeps in and potentially destroys what could be a reasonably happy marriage. Ideally, we should be looking at how to change aspects of this practice in aid of building the institution of marriage, not take away from it. However, some people, on their smartphones as they watch the funds being transferred into their bank account, will argue that it's tradition and it can't be changed... 😏

[@allisonjoyell1702]

That is why everyone is riding NOLA TAIL because he had numerous times to be forthcoming. Ruth took Lebo aside to tell her the truth. He should have done the same thing with Isaac. BUT he decided to played in Isaac's face and Nola played in EVERYONE'S face. Now everyone wants to give him that same ENERGY.

[@ItTakesTwoShow]

That’s very fair…you’re right - Chris

[@twalsh4525]

Labo got back with him because she still loved him..most women break up after love is gone..they no longer care..she was done caring

[@heyjude5027]

Lebo on red dress slays the revenge mode.😄

[@beemaphs2170]

Nkateko has mentioned on his IG that him and Khanya are no longer together. Apparently something happened, so they'll be co-parenting. In my opinion Nkateko is a victim of emotional abuse and it's very common for victims to excuse their abusers behavior, hence he was busy apologizing non stop. It's so sad that they have a child and he can't get away from Khanyi and her narcissistic behavior. I wonder how will she use the child as a weapon... so sad

[@DeeLari]

I was sooo surprised when I saw they had a baby after that toxic behavior in the last episode. I immediately thought she used having a baby as a way of trapping him.

[@moimeself1088]

@@DeeLari she claimed they hadn't had sex in 6 months, yet he says they found out she was preggo around the time of the proposals. So...... whose baby is that, ms thang???? 🫣🤭🤭

[@safistyle.art.fashion.imag577]

Great review and new subs. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@ItTakesTwoShow]

Thank you!! 🤗

[@SCK-vk1so]

I believe there is something with Ruth. She is skating by with her behaviors. Just because she was 1st telling doesn't mean it was done with the right intentions. I think she was falling for Nolla and that's the reason she told Lebo. She wanted Lebo to leave Nolla. People said she wasn't accountable to Lebo, then she should have told Issac not Ruth. Ruth has some things going on with her, and I believe Issac picked up on it. Ruth is heard telling him to get on top. She followed him around the house. She didn't discourage his behavior. I don't understand why Nolla is getting ALL the heat. Ruth was a participant in it but is not called out. Yes, Nolla is not a great guy. However, he didn't do it by himself.

[@WilliamsPinch]

Isaac is a liar. He wasn’t going to marry Ruth. And the “pretty lady” Isaac is talking to is certainly Lebo.

[@labellegene7971]

I hope Isaac is not talking about Lebo. Isaac is a piece of work himself. He can just stay her friend. I hope Lebo works on herself she is a beautiful woman.

[@marshajulessa2995]

I dont think its Lebo she wouldnt do that plus given her spotlight she would not be able to keep that secret for long!

[@YPM498]

Definitely Lebo. Isaac said on the show that he realized he made a mistake picking Khanya and Lebo is the type of woman he sees himself settling down with. And he seemed too invested in Lebo and Nola’s relationship at the reunion.

[@plinkysmama8309]

Lindele and Siza are not together. Their body language was not adding up to what they were saying. Especially Lindele.

[@zeanibanks3950]

I think Khanya found out she was preggo during the experiment. Or at least conceived during the experiment.

[@teattime]

Didn't she say that her and the dude haven't been intimate for like 6 months?

[@moimeself1088]

He's dumped her arse!! 😂😂😂😂🎉

[@SCK-vk1so]

I wish Lebo would have done that in private but I understand why she did it at the reunion.

[@ItTakesTwoShow]

Same

[@moimeself1088]

The way that man was gaslighting her, knowing full well that ish was caught in living colour! I'm 100% behind her doing it this way. He made it his life mission to humiliate her on an international stage. She took her chance to do the same. More power to her! The speed with which isaac forgave ruth (to the extent that they could even laugh together about khanya's behaviour at the pyjama party) says to me they both knew it was over.

[@lydianyakundi5749]

If you watch other ultimatum American seasons .. no one was being intimate with their trial partners or else ur cheating on your future spouse, common sense.

[@MochaFluere]

There was a whole lot of intimacy going down on Queer Ultimatum 😅

[@Nita_Key]

That's not true. A couple can decide for themselves what's acceptable with their trial spouse. There are people on past shows who did treat it like a hall pass, and their partner might not have liked it, but they didn't break up because of it.

[@mscherylhtuff7600]

Hello everyone from Seattle ❤❤❤😊😊😊

[@marshajulessa2995]

WHERE IS THE MALE HOST⁉️😬 Dude needs to be there thats you job wth? SMH*** I wanted to hear more about Siza and Nkanteko trial relationship and also Khanya being accountable for her bullying! Glad Aiden is working 🎉😊 never doubted that. Glad Lebo got her revenge. Host was TOO soft in her line of questioning 😢 Hoping Lindile might end up with Thabi lol 😂

[@DzivhuluwaniPhaswana]

I was so disappointed when seing Khanya doing the bullet. Nkateko won't change and Khanya toxic couple. I was also expecting to hear more 9n Nkateko and Siza. Lindile don't show any affection to Siza I thought he's but nope😢😢😢😢

[@2012lexie]

I wonder if they didnt come after Khana because she was pregnant.