the ups & downs of a 7 year relationship

Рет қаралды 89,643

Күн бұрын

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@sojuwithsarah 5 ай бұрын

welcome back to another episode! & thank you everyone for continuing to engage and support the podcast 🥹 I haven't gotten a chance to reply to every comment yet since everything's been so hectic but we're getting the hang of things! today we have our first guest with us, James (also known as Jung to some), to have an open conversation about relationships, love & the origin story of sarah + james! ❤ find him here! instagram.com/jung.garments

@xoxnataiie 4 ай бұрын

it makes me feel better knowing that not every anxious/avoidant attachment pairing ends in breakup.

@cooltrucly 5 ай бұрын

i kid you not, this video came at the right time. you describing your young relationship, in particular the codependency and maintaining individuality bit… it feels like you’re describing my own relationship. my boyfriend and i are both 23 and have been living together for almost a year now. it became so easy to default to doing EVERYTHING with my boyfriend, to the point where it became the expectation. as a result i became distanced from my friends and almost socially anxious outside of my bf. i didn’t realize i was smothering my bf, and i interpreted him not wanting to do EVERYTHING with me all of the time as him not liking me as much. clearly a lot of this was rooted in insecurity. ironically i was a hyper-independent woman before i met him, and now here i was, depending on him for everything emotionally, physically, socially. i practically forgot how to be alone and maintain my inner world. i felt like i had to share everything. it was such a negative cycle i was stuck in but i’m glad to have emerged from it now.

@brielleblythe7504 4 ай бұрын

HI !! i kid you not i'm in the same eXACT to the teaaaaaaaa situtation. may i ask how you got out of that negative cycle?

@cooltrucly 4 ай бұрын

@@brielleblythe7504 most helpful thing was carving out time for my own hobbies and my own friends, separate from my boyfriend. next was having a conversation about it to enforce some boundaries for how much of our time should be dedicated to quality time together vs simply being in the same room together doing our own things. i had an important mindset shift of prioritizing my own individual life, so that when my boyfriend and i come together as individuals, we can form a stronger whole. :)

@loveforeva12 4 ай бұрын

Did you break up or figured out a resolution? I’m also 23, feel like I give into him wanting to hang out all the time because like you, he interprets it as me not liking him as much or me to willing to put in the work. I need time by myself! Lol

@kinsale186 4 ай бұрын

@@loveforeva12just tell them exactly that, you might find yourself saying it multiple times because it’s something they will need to internalize

@loveforeva12 4 ай бұрын

@@kinsale186 you’re right… I have said it a couple times but it’s good to reinforce boundaries

@momoadazai939 5 ай бұрын

Honestly, this is one of the most heartwarming and down-to-earth honest podcast session I ever saw.

@ophieho 5 ай бұрын

I have been LOVING the pod Sarah!! I know how time consuming adding this to your repertoire of commitements has been, so I think I can speak for the majority of your audience who love and appreciate you for pumping out these comfy episodes alongside your other creative commitments (in the least parasocial way possible, thank you so much and I love you) 🩷 Really enjoyed this episode particularly, it's REALLY hard to talk so openly about your relationship with your partner especially in the context of it being shared publicly online. Y'all have a great dynamic and have grown so much together, it well and truly shows when you reflect on your past and the challenges you've each faced. I have a question - how is James so eloquent with his words? Does he read a lot? Or does he consume less brain rot media or something? I feel like I read a lot and thought I had a decent vocabulary but the way he uses these big words in his sentences so casually just goes to show that he's in a whole different league LOL like I might try and use a big word because I saw it in the context of something, then someone asks me "what does that mean?" and then I'm like "i dunno it just sounded cool" HAHAHHA PS - team sarah, always (sorry james)

@spicyhotpot_ 5 ай бұрын

omg first off, i love the set up. the warm ambient lighting with the beautiful decor around is so nice to look at! i am new to your channel but the lighting caught my eye. shows so much personality with just that. second, you have sucha soothing voice! i loved listening to this while i crochet. and wow james speaks so differently than the boys i know irl... its like he actually has a fully formed brain. enjoyed this podcast!

@musicmoviestrailers1 5 ай бұрын

Love this! Transparency about your ups and downs and making it to a solid healthy place is so important wish there was more content like this!

@saathviktummala9892 5 ай бұрын

I agree with James, a lot of guys cop-out talking to their girls and think they know what to do, but i think its also because we think we are the problem or that we have to solve whatever is wrong in the relationship by ourselves and that often means just breaking up which is really sad

@beluskabean 24 күн бұрын

I randomly got recommended your episode about friends in your 20s and I really liked it so I decided to watch this one too. Hearing about your relationship in your early 20s really helped me realize how I’ve become more anxious in my own relationship. It helped me reflect on how I also harbor these random expectations and maybe I need to just let go of them. I will be binging this podcast now 🫶🏻

@jocemotley 5 ай бұрын

20 seconds in the video, 8 months in my relationship I literally want to marry him but we are 19/20 and in college so there is some time until then. Things have been almost all smooth but we are just learning the ends and out of each other right now. I know it’s gonna be a journey and I love seeing other couples that got together around the same time talk about navigating young adulthood and the experience of becoming oneself while also in a relationship

@aprylchiem 5 ай бұрын

I really liked listening to you guys talk about your relationship and being really open and vulnerable. It's nice seeing both of you together in the vlogs and in these podcasts.

@audra2786 Ай бұрын

Dont worry about the language different for children. They are smart. The OPAL (one parent one languages) system is evidence based. Mom only speaks chinese and dad only speaks korean. Be consistent, and let them pick it up at their own pace!😁

@yorkinkhidirov1999 5 ай бұрын

team Sames (sarah + james)! You guys are so down to earth, calm collected. You are giving me a hope on having a long lasting healthy relationship. Glad to be a part of your journey...

@kaitlynchua8788 4 ай бұрын

This video literally sums up my current situation so I can't thank you enough for sharing your experience esp the LDR component because I just graduated from uni and also going through long distance and had troubles at the 2 year mark too! Absolutely love the video! Keep up the good work!

@Yooue 5 ай бұрын

I love how down to earth, chill, and mature you guys are! I’m so happy you decided to do podcasts bc you’ve accomplished so much which inspires me to do so as well. Thank you so much for sharing your stories!

@LovelyBeauty21 5 ай бұрын

I love this episode so much and the mature insight you both have reflecting on your relationships. I usually don’t like podcasts but I’ve been really enjoying this one and the topics have been so great and relatable so far ☺️

@Selahlahlah 4 ай бұрын

I love how you guys slowly get closer and closer throughout the conversation lol

@tireda2837 3 ай бұрын

new viewer here! this podcast was so cute i hope you guys make more together 🥺🩷 great work guys, thanks for being so so vulnerable and openly sharing your stories!

@erinrobles5704 4 ай бұрын

so lovely!! this is my new comfort podcast🥹🥹

@WhaChuUpTo 5 ай бұрын

Timing couldn't be more perfect for this episode to come out. You guys have been the soundtrack to my hours of packing myself out of my Vancouver apartment. I think I would have lost my mind if I didn't have your dulcet voices keeping me company

@loup5533 4 ай бұрын

Haha I'm doing the same but packing in ! Taking upstairs all these boxes and wondering what I'm going to keep when moving in with a roomate who already lives in the appart is easier listening to them calmy go back on the history of their relationship !

@itssharonma 5 ай бұрын

not me tearing up watching this; this is so cute 🥹

@shevanisegivans8773 5 ай бұрын

I’m so thankful for this podcast ❤ This episode made my day.

@edgykatrina 5 ай бұрын

I have been loving this pod!!!! also James is such an emotionally intelligent self aware king...

@nakamiyonemura2001 5 ай бұрын

All my faves in here NOWAY

@ellemccray6171 5 ай бұрын

Newest fav pod in my weekly rotation!

@fireystella 5 ай бұрын

your talks are very insightful~~ thank you for sharing! i feel like your pod makes me think :p

@avrikion 5 ай бұрын

Ya'll are so genuinely cute together!

@dominique5802 5 ай бұрын

I watched an episode of yours about aging and there’s some so healing about watching these 💗 thank you for making these. just subscribed :)

@sofierang4661 5 ай бұрын

james is so messy for that ending haha #teamsames i love how you guys articulated your emotions so well... i hope i'm this emotionally mature + secure when im 27

@nguy3namy 5 ай бұрын

team sarah, but still love u king

@happymallows7232 5 ай бұрын

can i just say moose is sooo cute and it's so nice of u to just let him roam around freely

@kenbhesng9749 3 ай бұрын

him tying ur shoelaces is the cutest thing

@hchung155 5 ай бұрын

Love your podcast so far! Thank you as well for having it available on apple podcast :-) I like to listen on the go!

@123dannyboy100 Ай бұрын

Janes likes to live life dangerously 😂

@steven-cs8rr 5 ай бұрын

Team Sarah all the way haha Loved the podcast!

@ItsStyleTheory 4 ай бұрын

Aww I loved this ☺️ and both of your voices are so calming!

@lily_007 5 ай бұрын

Great episode!

@laktoez111 2 ай бұрын

my bf and i started dating at 16/17. we were together for 2 years and currently 18/19. just as we started ldr again because of his college, we broke up because things weren't working out for a while we were having a lot of fights. he said he does not want to commit right now and just focus on his individuality and focusing on himself and that he is unable to love again. this has been extremely hard for me since we had planned a whole future together, yes we are young but we were so sure on not giving up and making it work. i don't know how to navigate through this i feel horrible

@MrJosexph 28 күн бұрын

I'm sorry you are going through this. However, it is good for growth going forward. You learn a lot through breakups if you take the proper time to understand what yourself could have been better at. No sense in blaming the other party or putting all the blame on the them, you can only make choices for yourself in the end. Not to say there isn't blame on the other party, just that there isn't a lot to grow from in that. 18/19 is a good age to focus on school/career and exploring who you are as this will change drastically in the upcoming years.

@NativeViva1 3 ай бұрын

This is the epitome of if the guy chooses you first in the relationship, it will last.

@y2k88_janice 5 ай бұрын

Yayyy thanks for getting halohalo from ur Filipino viewer

@laurendelgado3249 5 ай бұрын

Team James 🤭 HEHE, nah jkjk. Thank you guys for making this video! As someone in a 4 year LDR who's about to move in with their partner, this was really important for me to watch. It definitely gave me some ideas for conversations we should have. I wish you guys so much love and happiness with your next milestones! 💘💖💝

@loup5533 4 ай бұрын

Yeees completely ! Sometimes I feel like I should not be watching other people talk about their relationship on youtube because it would be like "spoiling" me of what may happen in my relationship and maybe make me too cerebral or less genuine you know ? But it's so reassuring to listen to them talk about what they struggled and they still went through it. We know very well how to deal with conflict with my girlfriend and the fact we have great communication makes me very sure of us lasting and wanting to last but I know that going through adulthood, finding new jobs, purposes, wondering where to live will be a lot ! Their video really helps anticipating these talks we'll need to have !

@jekinha112530 5 ай бұрын

This was so wholesome

@dinannananna 5 ай бұрын

Team Moose obviously.

@happymallows7232 5 ай бұрын

i loveee this episode. but i think it would be extra nice if you would put a subtitle/caption in your podcast :)

@happymallows7232 5 ай бұрын

special request to make bloopers section a portion for moose coz he's soooo cutee

@TheTk85 5 ай бұрын

TEAM SARAH!!

@ac6852 5 ай бұрын

love you guys so much

@cathlapugot 5 ай бұрын

Love halo-halo!!!

@SabrinaisNotaWitch 3 ай бұрын

If y'all break up, I'm team Moose

@geralddd.g 5 ай бұрын

😂W bloopers

@therenatagomes 5 ай бұрын

I'm team MOOSE 💅🏻hahahaha

@Angela-vu7vo 4 ай бұрын

you should have manifestelle on your podcast

@frogiwthoutahat 5 ай бұрын

I am not going to tell you what to do. but you need to give this guy an ultimatum. Because if he's not overjoyed to marry you at any time, you could easily find someone in new york who would. and I'm not even talking about appearance wise, but just there's so many other fish in the sea. I'm sure there's a lot of love there and all, but you deserve someone who will give you the marriage and kids on a decent timeline and not feel scared about that idea. there are so many good guys looking for that. I'm dating as a woman who doesn't really want kids and trust me every single guy wants kids

@lucyl4603 4 ай бұрын

If you need to give someone an ultimatum, the marriage is doooooomed. Just find someone who matches your needs / pace

@idab6864 4 ай бұрын

Anytime I see someone wait 7+ years to get married it's hard not to view it as a "shut up" ring

@marcelal.8688 4 ай бұрын

I don't agree on the ultimatum, but I really see what you mean. She does deserve better and I'm almost 100% sure she would find a better match for herself, a person that would just click almost instantly, and build a strong and sure relationship from there. I'm kind of sad after hearing this story, and I'm a person who is with her first partner still, after 12 years.

@frogiwthoutahat 3 ай бұрын

@@idab6864 exactly...

@frogiwthoutahat 3 ай бұрын

@@lucyl4603 so true. I'm 100% an advocate for finding someone who's ready to meet you where you're at from the get go and building a life together from there. I just feeling like telling her to drop him would come off a tad insensitive.