The Video Diary Of Ricardo Lopez - Part 1

[@EFarley81]

This is the most unsettling ASMR video I've ever seen.

[@MosNeagu1975]

if this guy didnt want to kill Bjork and wouldnt have killed himself, nobody in the world would have know him...out there are many Ricardo Lopez wich are unknown to public...

[@scottglover3478]

well, other then that he would be just a normal guy, those are kinda' the things that made him stand out as so out the ordinary and psycho. Of course there are plenty normal guys around, if this guy was actually normal. That being: not wanting to kill his celeb crush and himself.

[@panasoanicboy]

1996? So... He's a vlog pioneer?

[@GoEvenHarder]

+Eros Philiac probably

[@texazmade713]

time travler

[@RaveBabyFuu]

most vloggers dont make bombs. =/

[@IncubusOfDeath]

No he isn't, people like myself, were making videos even before that.

[@xMorbidArtx]

@@IncubusOfDeath lets see them.

[@MsSusiePan]

"I have been my own psychologist, sort of" Dude, you sucked at that.

[@martingonzales]

lmao!

[@davidkonevky7372]

It's kind of poetically ironic and tragic how every single one of his plans after his death failed. The painting he tried to do with his own blood and guts, fail. Making the death quick and easy, fail. Trying to kill bjork with the bomb, fail. I almost feel bad for him for that, but what he's done to bjork is nothing more than disturbing and horrible.

[@lukthere2]

And Bjork ended her relationship with Goldie a few days before he killed himself.

[@ShannanDNB]

@@lukthere2 then goldie made a banger

[@user-ey6vk5gu4o]

That's why he was suicidal. Because everything he did failed in one way or another. He couldn't even learn how to drive a car, because he couldn't get a grasp on car controls (he wrote this in his diary) He was the definition of an outcast. Not only was his outer appearance off-putting, but he didn't have the social skills to make up for his physical shortcomings. No humor, no wit and no real knowledge on anything. Extremely poor personal hygiene and a racist on top of it all. He just didn't fit in. He even says at some point that he found it hard to actually "like" Bjork's music because it was so weird sounding to him and he didn't really understand it. So he couldn't even really get into the music of the woman he "loved" He was only attracted to her outer appearance, which he called "child like" and "innocent" It's no wonder he wanted to end it. Guy had nothing. As a side note, he does mention near the end that he thinks his acid bomb plan only has about 30% chance of actually succeeding. But he also mentions that he doesn't care if it will work or not, because his primary objective at that point was to take his own life. With "Bjork" being a secondary bonus objective.

[@Apolo1428]

I thought I became crazy during the videos because of loneliness, but with his first acting face he showed he was sick from the beginning.

[@Peachpilled]

He's bonkers in the beginning but he descends further into madness as the tapes go on.

[@viliamil1629]

apolo apolon I do the same thing tho😂😂

[@GoatYouhhudawg]

Oh my god, I felt genuine terror from the smile.

[@Queenkeke101]

+Opinion Onion same ... my heart dropped

[@ysammo214]

"let me show you who i am" when he made that face i felt more scared than any hollywood horror movie has ever made me. its like youre staring directly into the face of insanity and you can see how he percieves himself

[@ug0ts3rvd]

I burst out laughing when he did it

[@edgarcolon3390]

Kleneu66 I felt he horror when he shot himself and I couldn't resist calling him the devil

[@anthonym.vasquez9617]

YSAmmo Yeah, it is so terrifying...😦😦

[@LynneleWhite]

I think it's stupid that some people keep pointing out his weight. What does weight have to do with psychosis? Where is the relevance?

[@booshting3520]

err hello, psycho fat guy?

[@LynneleWhite]

+Boon Doggle yeah I get that he's overweight and I get that he's psychotic. But really, if he was thin would you be calling him "psycho thin person"? No, you'd likely just say "psycho person".

[@booshting3520]

+LynneleWhite but he is fat

[@LynneleWhite]

+Boon Doggle Okaaayyy... Have fun typing the word "fat". Later weirdo lol

[@booshting3520]

+LynneleWhite Ricardo was fat.

[@aalvin28]

Just like what the quotes state "Nobody cares for you. Unless your pretty or dead". -Mad world..

[@exxy44]

im pretty dead no1 cares

[@jessiepanosha2629]

he’s not a victim he was a psycho

[@ElanaVital83]

Anybody else come here from the video : "5 disturbing things you shouldn't Google "?

[@mythrul9362]

me lol

[@Thehobbit197]

Mi too

[@carikotcher9862]

+Elana Vital Yup!!!

[@Adham2018]

+Elana Vital lol

[@telephonic]

+Elana Vital haha yeah just this second..i cannot recall this obese dude on the news....pathetic fat guy died for nothing.

[@krispyburger6548]

that escalated quickly

[@PEGGLORE]

wow michael macyntire's let himself go a bit

[@artisticafflair408]

Haha that's awesome

[@Jacintowalsh]

This is the most scary and disturbing thing than i ever seen in my miserable life, really sick..

[@Alice-ov3rd]

This guy needed some serious help. I feel sorry for him despite his bigotry. Only 21 and for what? I've been depressed and I know what it's like to lose grips with reality. It's been a long process and one only a sufferer can know to some degree.

[@dylanlol3501]

He shot himself

[@MrBoywonder1985]

Best wishes to you, Alice. Sounds like you have a great perspective on things.

[@davidkonevky7372]

Not only bigotry, but racism

[@storminmormon8195]

@@davidkonevky7372 those are good things tbh

[@moonmilk6169]

@@davidkonevky7372 He is latino, he can't be racist.

[@MrDilly2011]

That is needlessly creepy when he stretched his face.

[@Quiet_One]

This guy never stopped to think if Bjork would open her own mail or not.

[@rachellsh9706]

Lol ikr

[@Maldonado1064]

He made it seem like a company sent it and it look like a fancy box I'm pretty sure she would've opened if it got to her but I didn't

[@pavladavlas]

She doesn’t seem that enstranged from Earth & a normal existence. Björk seems like a peculiar girl next door who just happens to be a pop star. I don’t think she takes her fame & stardom that seriously or lets it take over her life like that.

[@idgh00]

My god, I am gonna have nightmares with this guy

[@gutterdocmd]

He's actually a handsome dude and very well spoken. if he took better care of himself he probably could have gotten a nice girlfriend.

[@gutterdocmd]

Yeah, youre right. I just really feel sorry for him. I wish he could have gotten some help. I think he is a real likable guy.

[@Ravenhideout]

gutterdocmd EXACTLY!!

[@exa121RETURNS]

He's articulate. I think he's a bit of an Aspie if anything. The Aspergers Syndrome was termed by then, but not particularly well-known. If he has trouble misreading certain social cues, then he might be Aspergers but I don't see him interacting with anybody so I don't know

[@RayWalls76]

He was probably the black sheep in his high school or live in poverty. It is possible to be "good enough" and still be left behind if the town he live in doesn't provide enough females. It is like comparing a golden apple to a diamond apple.

[@MGAnimatorX1]

Phil Mauro I would agree with you if only he wasn't racist towards black ppl

[@princesspasta]

1:04 minutes in and i already completely regret watching this.

[@blastromlifyedah]

GarlicPoncho i can relate

[@rococoness]

his sculpture is really beautiful lmao. sad that's he's so crazy, he couldve been an artist

[@iMsOiNsO]

He had a good talent....that was a nice sculpture. Sucks people's minds can be so messed up.

[@jgwire]

how did i get here and why did i stick around to watch it?

[@CrookedNose2131]

Hey smart guy, you gt here by CLICKING ON A LINK. How about that? As for your absurd "why did I stick around?" comment, we are all wondering the same thing. If your creative and original quip is the best you have to offer to the world, then you have a long and hard life ahead of you. Now sit back down.

[@drse1838]

CrookedNose2131 Why so mad. Who the fuck stuck a cactus up your ass?

[@TheNorseCrow]

He was also insane and racist.

[@Dreq458]

3:40 dammit, just when i thought we could've been friends

[@zo_ngaaut_r_st4062]

+The3Brett3 Bjork can't do anything, for that she looks like this. I mean she has down syndrome but she's a human and you should treat her like this.

[@9pmInTokyo]

+xXDaRk NeZzXx She hasn't got down syndrome, lmfao!

[@The2RealMusicPage]

ha ha you dead.

[@reesemorgan2259]

That bit woke me up. Jeez, I agree - I was feeling sorry for him. I don't know if he was inherently racist or if it was the fact that he was psychotic which led him to such a dark place. He was certainly insanely jealous. And he had Bjork all wrong - which exemplifies how out of touch with reality he was. Bjork has never been shy and sweet. She's a confident, strong-willed, alpha-female ( horrible term I know ) type. I think he saw "It's Oh So Quiet" and got a bit confused...

[@SpukiTheLoveKitten75]

@@reesemorgan2259 And the fact that he saw her as this super-virginal child-like being rather than the rather sexual person she is. She was even already a mother and in or nearing her 30s when this was taped...she was older than him!

[@thatkindofguy234]

Even though this guy was a crazy fucker I can feel for him, he just needed some help and support. He was probably fucked over by others most of his life which lead him to hate his life and develop strange obsessions and delusions as a way to cope.

[@ramblinrose8]

I'm sorry that thatkindofguy234 he obviously was getting help. He talks about various meds he's taking. As for lonely, he repeatedly tells us he is telling friends and family what he's gonna do by dropping clues. And it appears according to him his family is relatively loving. He also states friends have 'turned him in in the past' which is an indication that his friend "Rob" cared. The thing is though he is mentally ill, he chooses it. He really doesn't want to get better. He states what he is doing is wrong, that he is wrong, that everyone is a monster but it isn't as if he's trying to bring any light into the world. He perpetuates and appears to love his illness. He enjoys his narcissism and self righteousness and he blatantly states he's the lowest of the low and that he doesn't care. He wants to kill Bjork because she's with a black man. Now that's a bit hilarious coming from a Brown Man because I guarantee you Ricardo Lopez is a Hispanic name and he states he was born in Guatemala. He never says he was f'd over. And outside of that who can live life without getting a little f'd over. He is cruel and unkind and vicious. While I do believe he should be treated compassionately feeling sorry for him would only feed his neurosis. The fact is if he wanted to get better he could of, he just doesn't want to and it is plainly obvious - he like the rest of us who have been f'd over could have chosen to get better. He doesn't. He likes being mean and black and selfish. No pity here.

[@mayyambo]

ramblin rose "Now that's a bit hilarious coming from a Brown Man because I guarantee you Ricardo Lopez is a Hispanic name and he states he was born in Guatemala." lolwut? Why is it hilarious? Are you implying that only whites can show animosity towards blacks and that if someone of color does it it's "weird" or "hilarious"? That's pretty moronic. Also, he's a mestizo, he isn't fully "brown". He's likely got a lot of white admixture (as with a lot of hispanics). There is a lot of anti-black sentiment among many hispanics, especially where blacks and hispanics clash as majorities.

[@PowerSpeedStar12]

Enver Hoxha I thought that Ramblin Rose meant that it was "ironic" that a PoC was being racist, since according to our society, racism supposedly comes from white people, which is a ridiculous double standard for PoC who share the same racist sentiments as white people who oppressed PoC groups. But Lopez was blatantly racist in this video, and his racist comments should be taken as seriously as if a racist white person had said it. I did not know about the anti-black sentiment coming from hispanic people. I'm sorry about not knowing about this before reading Ramblin Rose's comment.

[@ramblinrose8]

thanks PowerSpeedStar12 that is exactly what I was thinking.

[@DannyM.D.N.A]

thatkindofguy234 couldn't of said it better !! I can realate I'm exactly like him BUT not insane. I wouldn't never hurt anyone else esp the people I idolise ! They're the only things I'm living for , I'd never hurt them

[@JutashiII]

Thw worst part is he missed Homogenic, Vespertine and Medúlla (Maybe Björk masterpieces). xD

[@nyansybones4983]

He didn’t really deserve to see any of that anyway, you know, after trying to kill her and everything.

[@davidkonevky7372]

Homogenic and Vespertina were her golden era, he really fucked up by killing himself that early

[@MosNeagu1975]

This guy was very lonely, he was under phisically complexe, and he was too locked up in his mind.. He wasnt stupid. His story is rather sad than scary.

[@sylvielau2412]

21?! Holy crap, I thought this guy was in his thirties. His poor physical and mental health really took a toll on him. I believe he is better off dead but I still sympathize with him, it hurts seeing others suffer in the way he has.

[@sylvielau2412]

NKLOP Haha, I guess it depends on your world view but even as a multiracial person I am extremely selective with people

[@19azul89]

+Sylvie Lau OMG, are you multiracial ?... no way ! ...

[@sylvielau2412]

NKLOP Yup

[@19azul89]

+Sylvie Lau then we can't talk or be seen together in public...

[@sylvielau2412]

NKLOP That's fine with me

[@owenmckillion4576]

3:44 he is the original Keemstar

[@Couragethecowarddog]

20 minutes into Hunchback of Notre-Dame and chill and he gives you this look 1:08

[@niev1111]

HAHAHHA

[@micaylagardner2403]

Omg😂

[@sandobrownski]

I really REALLY hope Bjork has NEVER seen this... and never will, God willing.

[@pomdapirouge]

Many people did. Kill their boyfriend, girlfriend. Or try to. Yet, they arent shown on youtube. What i mean is try not to focus on Bjork. She's not the problem. The problem is that lots of people are deeply unhappy on this earth. Peoole then listen to a nice song, an angelic voice telling them to calm down and that she will nurse them, and they build a very strong emotional link to that voice s owner. They suffer from "losing" the person, particularly into someone else s arms.

[@Cmacs_Smile.]

You Know How Long I've Ben Looking For This?Thank you so Much

[@tar0286]

This shit is Shakespearean and fascinating.

[@Soytu19]

This is the consequence of solitude

[@y0utub35uck]

just watched 1st part. is there full lenght video with final suicide scene in such good quality on youtube ? (or anywhere else) cause i have one in poor quality

[@hollowpoint165]

Crazy when he mentions Bjork how his head goes to the side. Truly insane.

[@FirmlyGrasp]

That's what happens when you eat too much cheesburgers, Randy.

[@lezexmachine]

LMAO dead ass, when he made that face in the beginning, i was SO terrified.

[@Glixity]

sad , he practically killed himself for no reason

[@FlynnTagPete]

he wanted it.

[@GoFoxurself]

People act like this dude wanted to be a psycho. He didnt wake up one day and say im going to be a psycho and try to kill someone. Its a disease. You should be sorry because society made him who he was.

[@lolzy123321]

This movie depicts the stages of insanity this man went through, and how mentally unstable this person really was. Definitely not a movie to watch for the light-hearted, but a movie to watch to examine insanity at its finest itself.

[@TheFunklin]

He was already beyond insane when he started filming this. He had already written an 809 page diary before stopping to make these videos. All and all police found 11 tapes which totalled 22 hours of footage. So that's like the entirety of all the lord of the rings novels in written form, and the equivalent of the length of every James Bond film ever made in video material. That's as obsessed as I have ever heard of anybody being

[@albinocify]

@jord8609 Thank You so much! it's a real pain in the ass trying to get my hands on things like this documentary (lol), so uploading it to KZbin has made things way much more easier for me. i have been interested in this guy ever since i watched a few videos of him. It's quite interesting to see the life of Ricardo, who obviously had some real mental problems. Thank's again for uploading, it was a real pleasure stumbling across this :D

[@therealspongebob9272]

He seemed smart, aside from the racism.

[@ADT2695]

Don’t correlate racism and intelligence.

[@kristv6496]

@@ADT2695 we most definitely will

[@ADT2695]

@@kristv6496. You’re not “we”, unless you’re implicating your entire Race - then continue to find yourself with “perplexing” conclusions, as well as continually producing logical fallacies.

[@ADT2695]

@@kristv6496. It “most definitely” is never surprising, I might add.

[@kristv6496]

@@ADT2695 you’re one of those types.

[@geekrockrats]

No mystery why people didn't wanna be around this guy

[@jessiepanosha2629]

exactly people are portraying him as a victim when he’s not

[@zesty2023]

7:08 - Never noticed this before lol Interview misspelled is name as Picardo on the envelope lol.

[@TheHuxly]

The human brain is very complex and highly susceptible to flaws. We can't judge what we don't understand or experienced.

[@jessiepanosha2629]

he’s not a victim

[@tengericsillag7865]

It's just sad how he showed his apartment and called himself pig.

[@rickyconway573]

He isn't lying.

[@happybright4493]

he kept saying "you know", as if his audience was supposed to be on board with his plan to murder this Bjork chick. smdh i'm befuddled as to why people become SOOOOO obsessed with entertainers that they need to be very carefully watched so they don't attempt anything crazy, like killing their favourite artist- this guy was a f*cking lunatic, he was insane, and (as harsh as this may come across) did society a favour in the end

[@meganp6568]

To everyone saying at 6:13 that someone else says, "okay," I'm pretty sure it's just him saying that if you follow his mouth movements.

[@TheGroumpfy]

Did he upload this on the internet ? Or was it in his appartment only ?

[@GriefTourist]

No one chooses the demons they are burdened with. Be grateful you didn't end up like this

[@FARYCC]

@KeyLowNumber9 where did u watch it?

[@emanii_gangg6078]

dude racist

[@indyphillipconner6252]

He a dead racist to he better off that way to

[@aalvin28]

so bad to see that he has to go all through this. He should have consulted a psychiatrist that could really help him. I feel bad for him knowing he got no one to call a friend to at least help him through his depression. May you find comfort and joy to where at you now.

[@meganp6568]

He was seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety and depression and was on meds. Obviously didn't help unfortunately. He had homicidal and suicidal tendencies which wasn't picked up on I guess.

[@onlyfortheonesopeneyes]

he's in hell 🔥. no doubt about it.

[@scottrc5391]

I need to show all of my friends and family this so they get my reference every time I say "that's... unacceptable". What? You brought me LOW-FAT ice cream? That's... unacceptable.

[@mikemike4418]

He was a failure in life and a failure after he died

[@LisaHDaniels]

more than anything he just needed a friend..and since he never was able to have one he got attached to someone he could idolize and look up to to feel peaceful..i know the feeling i'm "in love" (like he says) to people who are unattainable... i feel really sorry for this poor man cus you can really see that all he wanted was a friend..and i do think if he wouldn't have done any of this he could have been a good artist...

[@AllHaiLKINGTIsHeRe3]

Depression. Other than that, nothing apparent. I don't know why everyone assumes that he has to have an illness. I think stuff like this is hard for people to understand, so they cling to the idea that anyone who would do this must be crazy. Well, that's just not true. He just had an unusual personality, and lacked morals. There isn't much more to the story.

[@InsignificantNick]

That's a small apartment!

[@MsVandenBosch]

This is truly terrifying

[@Busvissel]

I was brought here by the tv show "Stalkers" in Sweden, Sick people, but still interesting!

[@squishy9674]

Is this real? I find it hard to believe that it's real. It seems like a joke, but sadly I have to remind myself that it is real, and I feel really sorry for him. Also, I don't think that he is really racist. I just think that he is mad about Björk dating another man, and he says some things he doesn't want to say about him.

[@jusaggoldcow1125]

uh nah. he's definitely a racist. his entire image of himself was clearly built on imaginary relations. one with bjork and one with him seeing himself as white and not latino. the latter clearly fucked him up. cos in order 2 construct an image of him as white, he not only has 2 internalize self-hatred but mirror whiteness, which is built upon blackness or rather specifically, anti-blackness. i.e. no matter how much he told himself he was white, he probably knew he never would be, BUT he believed it enough to the point where he saw himself as inherently better than black people. And so when his imaginary lover got together with a black man, the existential threat was so great he had to kill her. Thankfully, he killed himself first.

[@squishy9674]

Well I wouldn't be so thankful about him killing himself, but thanks. I didn't know that. No one, no matter how horrible, deserves to lose their life. Especially at such a depressed state. I certainly lost a lot of respect for him (although there wasn't much respect to have in the first place) because of his biased views, but I still feel deeply sorry for him, and would've wiched I was there to help him.

[@charliechan6892]

+squishy I think it was for the best, this man was either going to kill himself, or kill another innocent human being. it's sad to see how messed up he is to where he can't get a grip on reality to where he DOES kill himself, but I still think it was for the best. you can tell he was just crazy, in like, he seemed like a cool guy until he started losing grasp. I hope he gets some sort of break afterlife, whether he gets born as someone sane, or god understands, whatever you choose to believe in.

[@charliechan6892]

+Dev n but also yes, I suppose if someone was there they could have helped, since not only was he crazy, but all alone. in the same vein, it could have not helped, and the second you go to the store and come back, you could've still found him dead. or worse, killed you then shot himself. The mind is a crazy place

[@3spressoShot]

you can be latino and be white, just like you can be european and be white, or be american and be black. nobody is going to tell a black american that hes not really black because because hes not from africa. latino is a term used for different cultural groups that speak spanish, there are white latinos , black latinos, even asian latinos. your mixing up race and ethnicity. you can be latino and be white. I have plenty of blonde haired blue eyed family. i have brown hair hazel eyes white skin. most of my family is white skinned even though my family comes from mexico, I just take it as having more european ancestors than indigenous.

[@OuterDrake7000]

where can i subscribe to ricardo's channel?

[@em0481]

You could tell this guy was educated, just by the way he spoke. He obviously had some type of education but in some point in his life he just started going insane. This is sad...

[@emmajowitt7870]

I went into his tapes fascinated to watch his descent into madness and it ended up being the saddest thing I've ever watched :( by the way your pic gives me major anxiety!!

[@oscarvasquez6542]

@@emmajowitt7870 damn white girl 😍💙

[@kristv6496]

@@oscarvasquez6542 down bad

[@filthyfrank8049]

@@emmajowitt7870 yo girl run that Insta or snap

[@emmajowitt7870]

@@filthyfrank8049 got niether dude, I'm a off the radar kinda human! :)

[@TheNaitsabes96]

One mans insanity is anothers mans logic.

[@paddioche]

That head sculpture looked fairly gud,would like to see it finished

[@daFattylover]

This guy is far more entertaining than she is, Bjork should have been flattered to have such a talented fan.

[@mathellman3099]

1:06 is comedy gold!

[@MrSantiagoandDunbar]

i love insane people who document themselves, its really interesting

[@Joe_mama779]

I hate how his apartment is cleaner than my room

[@ValKoralie]

She saw it. She wrote a song called "So broken", Bjork said:"I recorded 'So Broken' that infamous week for me, the week of the bomb. The only way for me to write a song about it was just to take the piss...."

[@TheBlackSpiral]

Why did he persist on recording shirtless when he's not exactly in shape

[@ziiclmn]

TheBlackSpiral because he's alone with a camera. he did what he wanted. what you just said is exactly one of the things that could've made this person who he is. yes, he's not in good shape. he's dead, no need to remind him.

[@ratzlp0li]

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[@morganohare2408]

He was an overweight guy with gynechymastia. Why did it matter what other people thought? He had no intention of living long enough to do some Magic Mike shit.

[@LedZeppelinHK]

im not gay btu tbh he is not a bad looking guy. if he lost half of his weight i think he had the quality to become an actor

[@ZeDrunkRooster]

3:40 just got me, i know that his story isn't nothing to laugh at.. but honestly I couldn't stop lol

[@GoEvenHarder]

+Drunk Rooster :D IT'S 2 MY FRIEND OMG I CAN'T BREATH LMFAO

[@MosNeagu1975]

In addition to that, I think he was a talented artist, look at the sculpture ok Bjork he was working at, and further the paiting of him holding in hand a light, and somewhere over the internet its a drawing of a vulture.

[@accatt2204]

Ok...I'm gunna take a guess at this guy: Schizoaffective/Avoidant Personality disorders co-morbid. Any psychiatrist or psychologist on here?

[@SirJazz]

Sarcasm is "a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt",[1] usually conveyed through irony or understatement.[2] Most authorities distinguish sarcasm from irony;[3] however, others argue that sarcasm may or often does involve irony[4] or employs ambivalence.[5] wikipedia

[@phthphbreasts]

Poor fella, embarking on a futile quest. Clearly Ms Bjork is immortal and cannot be killed

[@joesmoe71]

He's been "speaking in the mirror and being his own pyschologist?" He should fire himself. Oops, actually he does at the end of the videos.

[@gotb944]

The thing is he seemed like a really cool guy if he weren’t sick

[@jessiepanosha2629]

he was racist he was not cook

[@jessiepanosha2629]

cool*

[@Xenkenito]

i knew someone that did that. but he shot himself in the head as he was being cornered by police. straight samurai style. seppuku.

[@topicsaboutlife7324]

1:11 😂 me when I look in the mirror before I go to school

[@woundedhealer999]

Messed up parenting right here. People rarely end up this tragically lost and mentally unstable all by themselves.

[@active727]

3:45 .......hmm that escalated quickly

[@rays7756]

"I am a monster" Heath Ledger can re-enact that so well.. !

[@lilacmist6356]

Was someone operating the camera? Around 6:10 someone else says “ okay “

[@urosnestorov9546]

Oh maybe it was the television.That's my best guess

[@Time_Line_Archive_Project]

more interested in what "made" him insane though... he said it himself - for a long time, he's spent talking to a mirror... that says it a lot really. stuck alone, no reason to live, no real purpose or direction, too much time to think, no friends, no real prospects, and even if he had friends, he probably shut them out. After watching the whole diary, it was when he quit his job, that his world caved in... his "insanity" was given free reign... and it ended in his suicide...

[@OUWATZAHLE08]

HE REFERING TO THE RAPPER GOLDIE BJORK WAS IN TO HIM LONG TIME AGO

[@JigjagjugXyz]

He didn't wobble his head enough... Until the end.

[@will83tnt]

I knew Randy from TrailerParkBoys was fucked up but jesus christ

[@evanthepanther]

megan fox has those weird ass hammer thumbs... those things creep me out to no end

[@Abi-42]

I accidentally skipped the video to 1.25. This guy is terrifying.

[@Time_Line_Archive_Project]

love is not just a chemical reaction... i dont know what love is, but i once knew a girl who had the most beautiful smile id ever seen, and i loved that smile :) are you telling me my brain just saw a smile and then released shit loadsa chemicals? bullshit. it wasnt just any smile... it was her smile...! he was a nutter, but its sad really that he obviously never knew any kind of love himself... when you experience love - whatever kind of love, you dont give a fuck about chemicals

[@sparklywarkly89]

He could have actually sought psychiatric help rather than film his problems... From what I've read Bjork actually felt sorry for him and showed remorse for his family... The person who could have been killed or horribly and permanently injured due to his actions... Don't think I'll ever understand that

[@IntergalacticSpaceKitten]

I just wish someone was able to get to him in time or he just sought out some help. So much wasted potential. What he did was horrible, and he was obviously mentally not in a good place. He seems very intelligent, he's actually handsome but doesn't even realize it, and he's good at sculptures and art. What wasted potential there is here. It's so sad. His self-hatred and fantasy idolization of Bjork really consumed him whole (I think as the tapes went on, the less it became about Bjork though he did still send the bomb). I wish he just got some help first to see how it goes, because what else do you have to lose if you're already planning suicide? But you know, this is the 90s, and the stigma against men and mental health was pretty bad (and it still lingers today).

[@bl4h1]

vhs tapes. he didnt have a computer or internet. i know this just by watching the vids he says it. you can get stuff like this through freedom of information act and someone probably did that then uploaded

[@OhStylo]

21 years, is no age. Not to die. If he'd accepted some help and the fact he NEEDED serious help, he'd be alive and a "totally different person" (his own quote) today; you can clearly see that he was getting effed up more and more, but only by his own weirdness.

[@etheltcain]

sad he never got to hear utopia

[@MrJerimia123]

At 7:03 it closes up, does..that mean someone's behind the camera?

[@tarzandhesi1577]

+MrJerimia123 he has a controller that controls the camera so he doesn't have to get up. :) so there was no one else there

[@MrJerimia123]

+Taran Dhesi oh ok XD thx

[@blurtling]

+Taran Dhesi no wonder he's fat

[@tarzandhesi1577]

omg :O XD

[@benk.6499]

+Taran Dhesi I