The Witcher 3 | Geralts Tax Fraud - Funny Montage

[@mijack8228]

The scariest monster Geralt has ever faced, The tax man.

[@mattiasilva1705]

He is the ugliest and scarier brother of "the caretaker"

[@KainSpada09]

Nah that would be yennefer instead

[@Kenny-o6i]

The IRS

[@LisaAnn777]

Yet Geralt handled it like a pro. Seems Geralt is the only one who can take on the IRS and win lol 🤣

[@achmadtitofauzan3809]

What's impressive is that the tax man manage to track down Geralt. Emhyr should have hired him in the first place lol

[@johndanes2294]

Eredin rode the Naglfar and tried to escape to worlds unknown when he found out he was being chased by the tax man.

[@LisaAnn777]

He only ever finds me when i am in Oxenfurt square. Anyplace else i never run into him on any playthrough.

[@joshuascanlon8758]

It would be rude to disagree Lmaooo The fact that CD Project Red thought of implementing a character to confront you when you abuse the game systems is one thing, the fact that you can bullshit your way through and get a reward is a whole nother level of developer gold.

[@youtubecommenter2527]

Can't believe the same company made the shitshow of Cyberpunk 2077...

[@ClashWithNabil]

@@youtubecommenter2527 just sad

[@averagegameenjoyer4156]

@@ClashWithNabil they got a bit confident

[@ClashWithNabil]

@@averagegameenjoyer4156 more like it was all planned since everyone trusted them so it would be easy to juice a ton of money just by making a somewhat decent game

[@Adityarm.08]

@@ClashWithNabil I'm pretty sure most Devs worked hard & had best intentions. Some projects are just doomed to fail for one reason or another.

[@halit147]

Gotta be kidding. The Witcher's code F O R B I D S I T

[@av799]

F-O-R-B-I-D-S I-T!

[@silviaf2725]

Even the 'C O D E' is a lie in the first place.

[@pepethefrog6809]

@@silviaf2725 Evidently, there is no code that says they can't punch cows and sell all their hide. LOL

[@silviaf2725]

@@pepethefrog6809 Indeed. No code about relationships with sorceresses neither.

[@meganoobbg3387]

Mace Windu: "The jedi code FORBIDS IT... muthafuka!" Tax collector: "Have you ever unlawfully acquired another man's immovable goods?" Mace Windu: "You best back off, im gettin a little pissed here..." Tax collector: "Have you ever waltzed into someone's home and taken something without their permission?" Mace Windu: "Now when you YELL at me it makes me nervous, and when i get nervous i get scared. And when muthafukas get scared, thats when muthafukas accidentally get SHOT!"

[@SeptimusCreed]

God, even in games the IRS can find you.

[@coolnobodycares]

SeptimusCreed Not even the Joker is crazy enough to take on the IRS

[@mf3932]

we should dispatch the IRS to find/fight ISIS XD

[@coolnobodycares]

private space cock Yeah after all they have a blood tax to pay.

[@mf3932]

SeptimusCreed that s what happens when you have bad blood with the IRS

[@reed7434]

the IRS found some bloke who'd been dead for years because he was missing tax payments. they've better detectives than the fucking police.

[@dave___]

Basically: Geralt, have you done bad? No. Understandable, have a great day.

[@Nikko911]

god i lost it when he started punching the cow.

[@johanandhira5429]

He beaten the cow so badly the skin literally fell off

[@Ciarzn]

same lol when he threw the back hand I lost it

[@carlosbryanperedamontes8845]

LMAO

[@Lion09887]

Its been 4 years have you found it yet

[@Nikko911]

@@Lion09887 not yet 😔

[@jack-exzolt9858]

So the next time a villager calls you a freak, just tell them: "At least I pay my taxes and bills."

[@averagegameenjoyer4156]

Absolute madlad

[@CampingforCool41]

I literally loot every single sack, cupboard, and barrel I come across.

[@slavvv6912]

CampingforCool41 same

[@faka2019]

same here,they're glowing man,got to be something worth taking in there like the game reminds us from time to time.

[@owenyang8495]

Faka 201 Yea when using witcher sense those glowing boxes are just begging me to loot it... and they are out of place..m

[@saintsinningsword]

Monsters if you go to peoples homes and do this, if you aren't stealing from peasants you're stealing from kings & businessmen who have a right to kill you. I never did cause stealing ain't right (and being encumbered is hell)

[@asanali3376]

They don't mind, so...

[@OddysChannel]

Oh look! It's Andrzej Sapkowski coming to collect his money.

[@christopherduncan9041]

"His".

[@polishfarmer6656]

😂😂

[@TheSecondVersion]

Sleeping vampire at CD Projekt Red: "Did you negotiate a new contract that gives you royalties?" Sapkowski: ...no. Vampire: "Then FUCK off!"

[@lilrice7865]

Wish they add something like that in cyberpunk with bit More details

[@stormeyedselkie]

😂😂

[@MrL0WEL]

It's not robbery if they're already *dead*

[@connorshekelstein6432]

Mr. Lowell Yep just like the guy on the shore at skellege

[@skullsmitten]

I believe its theft if they're alive, robbery if you kill them and take their shit

[@cs0345]

It's looting if you find a random dead guy and take their shit

[@4idenn]

And still Geralt has the balls to lecture that corpse robber in Novigrad lmao

[@predat11]

I like how you walk into the house and extinguish the candle. Damn candles always getting in the way.

[@Sentralkontrol]

many moments where I've looted a house hardcore, and ended up flicking the same candle on and off like 6 times in a row

[@hussain999able]

*witchers honor * trololol

[@Sentralkontrol]

>witchers >honour Cat school?

[@AppleInTheDesert]

You used three words and I’m dying of laughter

[@justicegutierrez6847]

The taxman was a fool to think they could go against a corporation as large as Geraltyne industries

[@SirRed5000]

2:04 that smile

[@MadameEllybear]

This is too real

[@toesucker88]

because it is, once u have 30,000 crowns that dude will show up

[@uninterruptedrhythm4104]

Lmao this encounter is my favorite, along with the quest where you have to go through bureaucracy to get the money you were owed

[@hardconfig5145]

The best one is where Roach is talking

[@hazeblaze5866]

@Fat Asain Productions During Blood and Wine you and Roach hunt down a specter.

[@SolusDarkcoat]

that quest reminded me of Asterix and Obelix

[@poutineausyropderable7108]

@@SolusDarkcoat That was the reference. A38. It was definetly made on purpose

[@Dark_Voice]

Best is when you do the persuade the cook, then get stopped by this guy, get tax payer in good standing and immediately after that go to plan the heist with Ewold Borsodi 😂

[@Sunny-ld4nn]

Uh-uh No I **DEFINITELY DON"T GO INTO PEOPLE"S HOMES AND STEAL THEIR VALUABLES!** *(pockets jingle from all the silver and gold jewelry)*

[@av799]

Sane Max Geralt:....Uhhh...that’s not mine.

[@Envinite]

*absolutely loot everything especially in the front of its owner* The Witcher's code F O R B I D S I T

[@Azuralet]

1:55 I fucking lost it when he said "Witcher's honour" and we get a glimpse of Geralt being an idiot

[@MioRaem]

As a matter of fact, this is not just triggered if you somehow cheat to get money quick on the PC. I got this "Tax Paying Scene" on the PS4, because I was a mad money hoarder, would collect all loot and sell most of it, plus selling valuable crafting materials like jewels... By the time I got to Novigrad I had like 15.000 coins and when this happened over 26.000. I laughed my effing ass off.

[@Sibunaytlas]

IKR

[@HenryN7]

MioRaem lol same here was in NG+ had 98,000 I laughed because in my other playthroughs I did two of the 3 glitches lol had millions.

[@TheFoureigner]

I was playing blood and wine, spent thousands on the rune crafter guy, fully furbished the house then proceeded to go on a bandit murder spree across toussant,3 killed 3 hansa and was encumbered a portion of it, looted every damn container and milked about 30k

[@rocketlaunch99]

ha noobs i have 78000 bitches I'M RICH

[@MrNaberz]

You are so polite "effin" 😂😂

[@tpd8862]

ah that music... so much witcher 2 nostalgia

[@tpd8862]

The Path of A Kingslayer

[@CAOPOY]

Peter Dreyfuss i played witcher 3 and all dlc best game ever, is the witcher 2 amazing and worth it to played it like 3??

[@tpd8862]

Yes, definitely! The witcher games are very different from each other, but they are all great and unique in their own way

[@pheenmachine]

I like the way some of the instruments seem to be made to sound like birds

[@marloyorkrodriguez9975]

The path of the tax evader

[@Brandelwyn]

3:21 upstandingness intensifies

[@MedyGames]

Fun fact : When making this video I checked if I could apply this document as decoration in corvo bianco ... sadly it doesnt work .... If it had worked , I would have included it in this video xD.. that would have been hillarious xD

[@SkeezeyJ]

The fact that there isn't a witcher's code makes 2:16 hilarious

[@NoahNelson-Smith]

There is a witchers code.

[@nekola97]

Witchers Code is bullshit Geralt made up to have excuses

[@Valmanway307]

I know there are codes that forbid killing sentient creatures that do not pose a threat. (e.g. some trolls, some succubus, dragons) But never knew a code about stealing... :p

[@LecherousLizard]

Yunpei Yang No, that's a part of Geralt's made up code.

[@dive_bomb3r]

He's right, 'witcher's code' is made up by Geralt to have excuse to not take contracts he doesn't want to. And since he doesn't like 'killing sentient creatures that do not pose a threat' it obviously is in his made up code.

[@joaosimao6325]

1:25 With the recent lawsuit from Sapkowski againt CDPR, this scene being in the game is so much funnier

[@milk-el8vq]

yeah but Cdpr isn't the bad guy the old shit is

[@rahatkhan4446]

yeah, except it was sapkowski's arrogance not ignorance

[@notjimpickens7928]

We can stop bois, they came to an agreement.

[@wimbusbert1249]

Imagine getting a 3000 oren reward from the king of Temaria and some dweeb with glasses and a hat comes up to you and says "mmn, I'm gonna need to tax that, bro." I don't know who has bigger balls, the monster slayer or the tax collector.

[@rh1nocz483]

-Geralt of Rivia, Kingslayer- Geralt of Rivia, Taxpayer

[@jthewelshwarlord6331]

I think Law of Surprise would be a valid excuse for the last question.

[@ReyaitheShadowWolf]

When he started punching the cows, I almost choked on the sandwich I was eating!

[@TheFightersWay]

this was much funnier than i thought :D

[@Shoundaime]

It'd be rude to disagree. Oh Geralt my boi you have the humility of the greatest

[@jinmori5051]

José Anderson ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@markmitin7397]

Tax Collector: How you ever walked in somebody's home and took something without their permission? Geralt: Kidding me? Witcher code forbids it. Them kids taken by the witchers from their parents: Am I a joke to you?

[@marloyorkrodriguez9975]

I mean under obligations and contracts it can be considered that taking children by Witchers is by agreement of both the parent who asked for help and the Witcher who provides service, and while yes it is contrary to law and morals it is by all accounts a legal contract base on the times.

[@timmehh89]

Can't believe I was hesitant to click on this, fucking hilarious. Nice job!

[@yourschosen5868]

timmehh89 ikr? Same!

[@roastedcookie2855]

I still come back to this every now and then , this is fucking classic for anyone that has ever played witcher 3.

[@Korelie]

Same here! I commented 10months ago and now watched it again still cracks me up. Here's a reply so you watch it again now 😁

[@roastedcookie2855]

@@Korelie lmao thanks bro

[@samiezzi6143]

got triggered​ by the words tax enumerator and undeclared income.

[@notjimpickens7928]

@cloudykai bruh

[@nessiepace]

I'm still mad they removed the shells and seashells from the merchant at hierarch square

[@av799]

The IRS caught on...

[@cs0345]

@@av799 Sounds more like the merchants caught on about the pearls

[@av799]

tree fiddy ....that son of a...he contacted the IRS!

[@ghostofsparta757]

A Witcher is gleefully smiling...not a good sign.

[@coltonwilliams4153]

He’s either drunk, or considering random acts of violence. Either way, you’re about to have a very bad day.

[@notjimpickens7928]

*uses AXII on children*

[@duploman1000]

Hang it on your wall, stare at it and hate yourself.. nah stare at it with pride because you're a sociopath.

[@MedyGames]

? xD

[@MedyGames]

is that some qoute from your diary ?

[@potatoesmashymash5836]

Nahh, I ain't a sociopath and thank goodness I'm not.

[@Norinia]

@@MedyGamesNah, the devs probably added that ‘diploma’ so you’d feel guilty for lying, Duploman1000 is saying f^ck that, it’s a badge of pride now. Congratulations, you won the game of Tax Fraud! :D

[@konodiodayoru2638]

Geralt couldn't slay the greatest monster of them all.... The Taxman SVAR

[@shadebinder9969]

The glasses make this 10 times funnier. It's so fitting

[@AMT_AllMyThoughts]

I love how one of the choices is literly "nuh-uh"😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@skazwolfman8622]

Damn. Swag Daddy Geralt could teach Capone a thing or two.

[@1337Figaro]

From The Witcher Wiki. The Taxman Cometh is a secondary quest in The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt expansion pack Hearts of Stone in which Geralt runs into a tax collector in Oxenfurt's markets. The taxman asks him a few questions to clear up a flood of undeclared income Geralt has obtained throughout his journey. This quest triggers only if Geralt is in possession of 35,000 crowns or more.

[@genematthewjuanico9532]

Tax Collector: Have you engaged in the overselling of animal hides or pearls? Me: Nope, mostly swords and armor, if it's any consolation, most of the swords and armor I find were either from ruins or bandits, so if anything I'm doing the economy a favor by putting them on the market Tax Collector: ok then, have you ever ransacked every house you've come into contact with Me: ......Fuck..

[@polymathecian]

I like how you get a diploma so you’d feel guilty whenever you look at it.

[@joeyk3134]

Geralts like "I kill monsters and sell stuff I find in caves and shipwrecks

[@kaaijer]

1:10 - Geralt should have said: 'is this an out of season april fools joke?'

[@IRUNASSULT]

Taking items from peoples homes? Nope, never done that sort of thing. Witcher code forbids it.

[@thelostviking225]

Witchers Honor

[@moeye7642]

F O R B I D S I T

[@ammelodiana5664]

i love how this was added. And it wouldn't make any sense to those who don't know of the cheats.

[@TheBigCat85]

This is the funniest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

[@faka2019]

0:44 "runs away like a criminal"hahahaahahhagaga

[@jinmori5051]

Faka 201 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@jessetiemissen5547]

I lose it at 1:42 every time. The cut to the shop menu and the music is perfect.

[@vivenkeful]

This is one of the most hilarious videos I have seen recently. I just cannot stop laughing. The flashbacks, with that slowed down voice... my god hahah. And then when he starts hitting the cows, lmao, this is the best.

[@guitarmama06]

I saw this montage on a different platform a year ago and thought it was the funniest thing. I come back to this every now and again when I need a good laugh. This whole video is just *perfect*

[@jaykat98]

0:53 "profession?" "stoner, weed connoisseur"

[@undesconocido7]

Steel for humans Lelelelele for monster And tax evation for geralt

[@cherryscarlett]

_when you have no legal sources of income.. so you don't need to legally pay any "taxes"_

[@biome3]

No matter how may times I've walked through that spot this has never happened to me while playing.

[@TheEvilMeh]

This was a special event that only gets triggered if you use a certain cheat that allows you to get money real fast, the devs in CD Projekt thought it would be funny to remind the player of what he did in this particular way..

[@metallord99]

This happened to me and I didn't use any cheats.

[@VanQake]

same, i think you just have to collect shits of money, i'd like 30000 and it happened

[@mumin84]

I think you need to have Hearts of Stone installed.

[@biome3]

Arfaer sigh......

[@20moonkin]

Console mode on = 10,000,000 crowns, Tax man: How’d you are earn this? Gestalt: Slaying monsters for fair prices? Tax man: works for me! Here’s a document saying how cool you are.

[@EldritchBoi]

Silver for monsters Steel for humans *P U N C H F O R T H E C O W*

[@luiscuadras1963]

Remember the FBI, the U.S government and Chicago PD couldn't arrest AL Capone. But the IRS took him down for tax evasion. What makes you think you're safe ?

[@lyraspasar649]

Geralts mouth: Witchers Honor geralts mind: he bought it, O M E G A L U L

[@voodooozo3755]

I feel like when guanter o'dimm gets bored he just turns on the TV and watches players do those sort of things.

[@proximacentauri2684]

I absolutely love how they put this in. directly referencing the exploits is amazing

[@Krystalmyth]

I think... I think that Taxman just roasted the fuck out of Geralt. What a fine lad.

[@Sibunaytlas]

Well i used money cheat than i went there and he appeared.So game tellin me im a filthy cheater.

[@Olivia-W]

Umut Ege Yıldırım Um, it also triggers if you just have a lot of money. Not necessarily through cheating.

[@G_G_G_G_]

Olivia esddms I've had 75K before and it's never triggered on me :(

[@jinmori5051]

Ok

[@joaogarcia6170]

Pedagogic have you passed by that oxenfurt area ? I was in NG+ and had 50.000(I don't know how much it requires) and it was triggered

[@jinmori5051]

Rikerson Antonio you have to have ovER 30000 crowns

[@kapitan19969838]

Believe it or not, it's a parody of the Polish tax system 8)

[@jackfromthejungle7538]

The epic Witcher 2 music in the background lmfao xD

[@DIGGWHATIMSAYING]

Took some real balls to track down and accuse a guy called "the butcher of blaviken" of commiting tax fraud ^^

[@Dokopi]

Oh hell that part with punching cows and running away when chort show up make me choked. I just started the game. It's my first play and I related to this so much. Took me half an hour to take down that mf at lv 1 so i can be able to continue my quest.

[@thesenate5913]

The tax man is feared in the witcher world

[@randymarsh7346]

Really I laughed my fucking ass off, that face when he does that all that stuff 😂

[@collecram]

I almost forgot to watch this today

[@NoOne-mz8os]

Witcher,Monster slayer. (Looks happy while staring the sun) lol

[@vortigonadvertising]

Have to admit, I didn't find a lot of it to be funny at first, but when I got to 1:53 and the drunk scene, I couldn't stop laughing.

[@antimaster6432]

honestly i dont understand how most witchers seem to be poor as dirt. did they never notice how profitable being a murderhobo is?

[@joseangelrentroia9542]

2:49 men that smile, i never see geralt more happy

[@ShiryuCain]

the faces geralt pull out..they are cracking me up.

[@dingisagoober]

Oh god I don't believe this geralt would never do this im literally shidding and crying rn

[@silverydeath3698]

Classic stuff, really enjoyed it.

[@HungrylikeaWulff]

My name is Geralt of Rivia, and I have not payed taxes since te conjunction of the spheres. *hnrgh*

[@dsm864]

2:48 that smile tho

[@jocem0097]

Stole from an old lady while searching for her priceless fryin' pan, and this video was all I could think of. Love it!

[@Rytonic69]

God, the combat music intensifying just makes this scene so much better

[@aramalaura75]

done with the main story, both dlc, and just walking around trying to be done with the last quests when this pops out, and I thought I saw everything

[@Criticcizm]

"Hang it in a place of honor" ..."i know"...😐

[@pedrothiagosimoes5832]

Best fucking voice acting in all of history

[@kartikagrawal2239]

Jaskier/Dandelion coined the term "Toss a coin to witcher" people are keeping some things in home for witcher to take. You know to help him in his journey. He is not stealing perse😂😂

[@thatonenerdwhoreadsbyhimse5429]

The fact that you can bullshit your way out of it is the funniest part to me.

[@jonobrow]

Fantastic work, man. This deserves a lot more views.

[@babylugi]

I don’t steal. Not because it’s wrong, but because my pockets are full.

[@himeko3315]

"I am crazy enough to face countless fearsome monsters, The Wild Hunt, even basically immortal Higher Vampires, but the IRS? No Thanks." By no one

[@mothified1676]

lol! that smile at the beginning...I think it's good that Gerald can't or won't smile :P

[@Spineless-Lobster]

“Taxation is theft.” -Geralt of Rivia, maybe.

[@ImCaveJohnson]

This was amazing. I didn't realize when I play this that he was referring to exploits in the game. Hahhaha

[@LightOfSkyFalling]

I live by the Witcher code

[@Zhire]

LMFAOOO WHEN HE WALKED INTO THE HOUSE TO LOOT HE EXTINGUISHED THE CANDLE

[@Divinemartyr]

I laughed the entire time. The edits where first rate bro and honestly this was funnier than it had any right to be.

[@Tsiriasmenos]

This guy is a lifesaver! He stopped me as guards were chasing me for looting a box! And then asked me whether i ve ever stolen someones stuff!! Oh the hilarious irony!