The world is going CRAZY for

[@BeingSwenglish]

*Share this video with your friends via Facebook to gauge their view/opinion!*

[@frankfestus114]

You lie this happened still today some even ask you to bring food when dropping your food. So if you do not know what to say shutup and ask the general public to see Swedish know this

[@ingemarsvensson4795]

This happened all the time when I grew up in the 80s and 90s and it was apparently even more common earlier. Just because you haven’t experienced it today doesn’t mean it’s not a thing. It’s hopefully uncommon today.

[@minime6339]

No it didn’t you 5 min of fame thirsty nutter. Are you gonna post this in every comment section 😂😂.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Indeed it can have 'been' a thing, but it's definitely not a thing now, and that's what these news reports are talking about, the present. Thanks for the comment

[@albinhelen514]

This happened to me too when I grew up in the 00s to 10s, basically if they could, they would ask if I wanted to eat with them, but if food was already prepared I would just keep on playing in my friend room or whatever. And sometimes my or my friends parents wanted their kids to eat at home. My guess is that it is a bit different if you live in a apartment and in a bigger city, I grew up outside a small town in Northern Sweden so we would just easy bike back and forth.

[@rdytogo9803]

@@BeingSwenglishits ~ing

[@Sango4522]

Not offering guests food is extremely rude and inhumane in my culture. Its literally the most rude and uncultured thing you can do to a guest, expected or not.

[@themangospy8288]

Scenario: if the same 5 kids hung out at your house to play with your kids everyday after school, not officially being invited by you and without any official parental involvement, would you expect them to go home to their own families at dinner time or would you be expected to through a dinner party every night? Especially if they were neighbor's and could walk home. Would you feed these kids without asking their parents? I don't think Swedish kids not being fed at friend's houses was a cultural norm, rather it was an occasional occurrence due to the fact that Swedish kids used to be very independent. There were no official playdates, they weren't invited over as guests by any parents. I'm saying this is cultural and highly circumstantial. In suburban America where I live, parents drive, pick-up, and plan playdates. Full parental control, so the circumstance of a kid being expected to go home on their own before dinner time on a school night would never happen in such a scenario.

[@anaisnatural5384]

The same thing in my culture

[@TalaR04]

You live in another country, maybe stop judging us because we don't share the same view as you.

[@Sango4522]

@@TalaR04 you live in another country too. What is even your angle? We are on the internet smartface

[@TheEncrypto]

@@TalaR04 It's not a “We don't share the same values as you” thing Treating guests with care is a thing throughout the world lol. It's not like people from one specific country or region were criticizing Swedes. Everyone was calling them out on this cause it is crazy.

[@celinastenman]

While I do appreciate you defending us you weren't a kid in the 90s/00s in Sweden. I have sat waiting or had friends waiting in my room several times as a child. We just thought it was normal. Times have changed now, which makes me really happy, but no this isn't a lie this was the norm. Edit: saw someone claim this to be a rasism thing, it is not! Growing up white with mostly white peers this is just what we all did to eachother. I can't explain why, I was a kid, but I am a real person. Again, this has changed now!

[@BeingSwenglish]

The current topical news stories are suggesting that it's still the case now, hence this video, to make very clear that it isn't. Thanks for the comment.

[@celinastenman]

@@BeingSwenglish oh I didn't know that! Yeah that's not true. Thank you for making it clear :)

[@tumarfa]

*"We just thought it was normal."* Same with me in Denmark in the 80s. Never thought much about it.

[@fresken142]

3:15 story time, in my experience my mom would ask me if I said I ate at a friends house, "Did the parents explicitly say they were inviting you to their dinner!?" With a really freaked out face. In my town this still is the norm. I'm (19M) atm

[@DragonSkyNija]

When I was a kid, I had a friend who parents lived separately, so he changed home every week, but I can remember when he lived with his mom I was allways invited for dinner, but with his dad I was invited extremely few times most time was waiting in my friends room where I didn't touch anything only looked around, because I had respect for my friend's stuff, but there was also the days when his father sended me home at between 17:00-18:00(5PM-6PM) when I was normally leaving there sometimes from around 20:30 to be home at before 21:00(9PM).

[@ericolofsson]

Okej so this actually a thing at least in the 90s when i grew up. And is not that weird. So kids here generally are consided as induvidual people. They can "invite" other kids over without really asking the parent. Depends a bit there age ofc, but i was often at other kids houses randomly playing i knew when my dinner time was. If i wanted food i needed to be home at that time. Same with my friends. Some houses offered food and i often decliend as its also considered that you shuld not be a burden to other people. Dinner time are also often the first time the hole family gathered (around 5-7pm) was/can be consided kinda rude to feed someone elses kid here. A intrution like trying to raise another persons kid. And if you do it often the other family will feel like they are in dept. A lot of parents would call your own first to check in they wanted to invite you to dinner.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment Eric!

[@bloat219]

It still happens even now a days. I have lived here all my life and for example i had a friend which his parents would never invite me for dinner even if i was there the whole day. I remember once i was at another friends house and his father came home very angry because my friend had given me a bowl of cereal as a snack.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment, you say that it still happens now a days, can you evidence that? And I don't mean via random Tweets, but real-world stories?

[@anaisnatural5384]

That's so rude 😱 in my culture we treat guest as king

[@ctormin]

@@BeingSwenglish he just told his story mate. what else do you need? forensic evidence?

[@BeingSwenglish]

@@ctormin it's not about evidencing something, it's a genuine question as to whether his experience was recent or not.

[@mosegrose]

I grew up in the 90s as a second generation swede and this has happened to me and the majority of my friends when visting an ethnic swedish friend as a kid.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Yep, in the 90s, but not now, as the newspaper headlines might suggest ..

[@mosegrose]

@@BeingSwenglish Not sure the newspapers are saying it is happening now and even if it has stopped in some way (it still happens) it is important because it is a blind spot of the swedes. Based on how long you have lived it is not strange that you might not hav experienced this, there is a big chance you have a different crowd and it has stopped in many ways. What is also interesting is that almost none of the swedes know why they did it or why it happened including my wife. This translates to all sorts of new behaviours because of this blind spot. For example swedes get uncomfortable if you "treat" them something without wanting something in return because now they think they are in "debt". Swedes will in many dinner settings pay right away splitting the cost and rarely just invite to a gathering with food without splitting the cost with people coming. I see it all the time and I see it is not coming from a bad place but it is not looked at. What do you think, am i touching on something you are sensing?

[@penthe-e]

@@mosegrose But that is just the nature of a different culture then? When it is not coming from a bad place. It’s just more frugal, dividing the bill between the people coming to a food gathering seems practical, as not everyone will hold food gatherings, in the long run it can be fair financially. As I see it, Scandinavian people are more frugal, going out eating is also expensive. I just find it strange wanting to correct another culture, what do you mean with the blindspot leading to new behaviors?

[@mosegrose]

@@penthe-e So Ill give you an example. If you invite over a swede friend for dinner you Have to do the dinner at their place next time or they Will be very uncomfortable feeling they are in ”debt” to you. Similarly even if you want to buy the friend a coffee/drink, they Will either insist on buying one back or send the money to you after the evening. There is something uncomfortable about being in debt which by experts seems to come from old christian/pagan values and now people dont remember why they behave in this seemingly stramhet way from an international perspective. I ask my swedish wife and friends and they dont know why they feel uncomfortable around receiving and asking for things.

[@esben181]

Honestly that's my experience from the US when my friends from middle school came over and didn't want to eat dinner and for some reason thought it okay to just wait in the room

[@LittleShopofHorror]

I completely agree! I even made a TikTok-video about it. I love that you connect Swedish media to it because even that is a correct analysis. I see people needing to defend this, but its not necessary. I baked pancakes to my kids and 20 friends when they had a sleep over in a garden close by. In most cases, I let the kids cook and eat when gathering at our place after school. But, sometimes that wasn't practical. We don't overrule other kids parents plans or insisting others to eat with us, as if they're starving. I brought up my kids with open doors and as a safe place. We never fought, the refrigerator belonged to them too, and I taught them "action and consequences". If they ate everything, there would be nothing left. I was a single mom with very low income. If the friends weren't starving, I did my best to not put my kids in a starving situation. It's OK to not offer food when ends don't meet. Although, I've never met a parent in any country, not doing their best for a kid actually starving!

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment, I completely agree! Me and my brother we're brought up to cook our own dinner at times, and even gör our friends, perhaps kids these days are too dependent on their parents for food!

[@lgrcen2008]

This has of course been blown out of proportion because of misunderstandings and cultural differences. As kids(90/00s) we were more or less free to have our friends over as we wished. As far as I understood it, we weren't the "guests" of the household or automatically part of the household's plans for the evening. Of course, sometimes there would be an agreement or It'd be asked if someone would stay over for dinner but for the most part, we would play freely around our separate dinner schedules. I often ate later than my friends so it wasn't uncommon for me that I stayed in my friend's room playing video games while they ate dinner. When they returned we would continue playing together until I had to go home for dinner. It could also be the other way around where my friend would come over to my home after they ate dinner and they would be alone in my room while I ate dinner and then we continued playing until bedtime. Maybe there are cultures where it's expected for their kid to be fed if they're at someone else's house, and a misunderstanding occurred? Or by going by the statements here this is less of a thing nowadays?

[@mattrR678]

So you guys just rude? What happened to the Vikings days when Norse would throw feasts.

[@mrdaf1054]

@@mattrR678 This is a very good explanation of how it was. Specifically in the 80's. If you actually read it you would see that it's not rude. Just a different lifestyle. The parents where not aware of other kids in the house or it wasn't planned. Our doors where open to our kids friends. So it was hard to plan and it became the norm. In a lot of other countries they wouldn't let you in. Swedes also eat a lot of pre-fab that makes it harder to add plates.

[@Pixelarter]

In Brazil it's extremely rude to have guests, eat while they are visiting (or in front of them) and not offer them any. The good etiquette here says you should at least offer them. If they refuse and prefer to stay in the room playing videogame that's fine, but you first ask if the guest wants some in case they are starving. Even if you are thirsty and drink a glass of water, here you should offer the guest too. The same for some snacks or anything you eat. If there's only one item of something, you offer them and split in two in case they accept. Even if that is less than enough for one person. If you are a guest you can politely decline in case splitting results in too little for each. The norm when I grew up in the 90/00s in a middle class family in Brazil was something like: - "Hey, we are going to have dinner now. Wanna join us?" - "Sure!" Or - "No thanks. I'm gonna eat at home later, my mom is waiting me. You can go and I'll stay here playing videogame."

[@danielhakansson1911]

As a Swede I would say it depends on the circumstances. I have been left in my friends room when they went to have dinner with their family but always after speaking to my mother if she had prepared anything for me when I eventually get home. It is definitely a nice gesture to feed your guest but I guess Swedes are more practical where mothers (and father for that matter) of both kids would call each other over the phone discuss the thing. So if I am at a friends house and my mother had prepared food for me when I got home it would be rude to tell my mother “sorry I have already eaten at my friends house”. The typical response would be “well that is very nice of them but why couldn’t you just have called me to tell me so, now I have prepared this dinner for you and your not even gonna eat it”. To further suggest that this is a racist phenomena is utterly nonsense. It is entirely based on practical reasons, respect for your own families time and effort to feed you and a cultural thing as the family gets some time for themselves at the end of a day to talk to each other alone. And for christ sake everyone, it’s not like children are starving in Sweden. I have experienced both, eating at a friends house and wait in their room, but either way it has always been after talking to my mother and my mother talking to my friends mother. It’s all about respecting your own mother and respect the efforts she makes for you on a daily basis. Now if you staying over for a sleepover and you are not served breakfast the next day. That is a completely different story and I would say extremely uncommon that you are not served breakfast. And when I say extremely I mean like 1 in 100 000 cases.

[@dennisbohman3848]

Exactly, it is courtesy and respect for the child's family. And no I would never deny someone's child food if I saw that it was hungry, but never without first calling and checking so it's ok and that the parents have not already prepared dinner, but it is primarily the child's parents' responsibility to fix food and take care of their child, in addition, dinner is probably the first time during the day as the family is gathered and in any case I value that moment quite highly.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment Daniel.

[@Sango4522]

Yeah, in my culture we dont do that. Even if i declined the food my friwnds mom was offering to me, she would feed you anyway, and its a given that if you stay by a griends house until and past dinner time, you will have dinner there, and declining was not an option. Sometimwa you would eat lunch at home and go to your friends house, and their mother would offer you food, even though you already had lunch, and even if you decline it she would bring the food anyway and you shut up and eat that food if you have to die trying. We are not stingy with food. And our culture says that its better for your belly to burst than for good food to go to waste. If you dont want to be force fed, dont go to people's houses. My grandmother and mother even taught me that whenever you are cooking food on a weekend, you must always cook extra in case a guest comes over. And you must always stock tea and fine treats to cater to guests whenever they come, this is because most gueats are unexpected. We dont schedule this sort of thing. And no one goes to a house exoecting to be fed, but its the cultural norm that whether you want to or not, you will be fed or at least served water, tea or light snacks. It's just basic hospitality to us. So, thw swedish custom is a rather huge shock. Its a cultural difference, but a very shocking one!

[@OMGwtfSTFUbrb]

@@Sango4522 that is really interesting. If I was ever invited to a friends house to play and was then forced eat food there I would find it overbearing and would do my best to avoid being invited again. I’m there to hang out with my friend, not to hang out with their parents. Dinner is the time I like to go back home. That being said if someone is over and they ask if they can join for dinner, not offering something then is a big no no (after checking with their parents of course).

[@Sango4522]

@@OMGwtfSTFUbrb no, we dont eat with the parents. When company is over, children eat with their friends, the adults do not join. That would be awkward, obviously.

[@user-pb8yw8cw3s]

I'm impressed by the honesty of some comments here ! If the norm is to not feed a kid at lunchtime, then how can Swedish people crate bonds between each other ? Or are things working mechanically ?

[@Wehdema]

It doesn’t sound like this is a case of racism. It sounds like cultural clash to me. I live in the US and I noticed that in general people from Northern European background tend to be more straightforward, practical, and independent then people from other cultures. Of course this doesn’t apply to every individual. For example when I’m around Italian Americans, often they offer food and drinks before I even ask. As a Korean American, I’m very familiar with this kind of behavior. When I’m around Americans from Northern European ancestry, normally I would have to be more direct with my communication.

[@ken1custom]

It didn't happen when I was very young but once I was in my teens during the 80s and 90s this would happen 100% of time without failure. It was always shocking to me as this never would happen at my home or with other immigrant families but with Swedes it was every time, it was actually pretty hurtful at times. So like somebody else wrote, it maybe isn't a thing now but it truly really was a thing and it is burned into my memory forever. For us that have lived here for a long time and have been young here, I can nearly promise that it's the same for all of us. Sadly :(

[@uvg849]

I am from Turkey. If a family does such a thing to their guest, they will be outcast from community where they live. This is disgusting . What do they think ? Sparing meal ( money) by hungering a child who is guest of your kids . This is outrageous and most uncivilized act that you can commit. Please dont try to sugarcoat it

[@actc6077]

Its true and all my immigrant friends been thru this as kids in the late 90s, waiting in the room, We still talk about this stuff once a while lol It was super shocking! I have friends that had to wait outside the entrence door on the steps. Me, myself when I was 10 years old had to watch an entire family eat McDonalds in the car after soccer practice, they order for all there kids except me, So I had to watch them eat before the dropped me home. We are all happy this is coming out as it really a unpleasant thing to do to a child.

[@dennisbohman3848]

That´s insane and infact pretty mean.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment! But in the 80s/90s this was common everywhere due to recession, economy and the cost of feeding kids being hard for families to cope with. But it's not something that happens today, in the 2000s.

[@actc6077]

@@BeingSwenglish that's not true man. In most of other cultures this would be insane to do even in the 80s / 90s just as it was for my parents to hear this from me as a child. I remember when some of the new kids in the block barely spoke Swedish, they barly had furnitures. They would always or even force us to eat. Everybody has at least a sandwich or something at home. It's like swedes also go 50/50 on the first date from what I've heard.

[@actc6077]

@@BeingSwenglish but It's important to know that not all swedes are like this. My closest childhood friends family would never do anything line this. They Always shared and was always good and beautiful people to us all.

[@MeetTheH]

@@BeingSwenglish I’m pretty sure most of the countries fed their guests even in the recession, including third-world countries too. I’m glad to hear it’s getting better these days but still recession can’t be an excuse to not feed the guests imo

[@victorperlain]

The problem is the story "we aIl" read worldwide about a boy or a teenager who slept over at his friend's house and wasn't offered breakfast while the whole family dined in the kitchen...Now that's totally insane. But, when did he arrive there? Did he have dinner? Weird. Another story where it is normal in Sweden to eat at aunt's house, but then aunt sends receipts of the groceries he ate. WTH?! But if you are expected to go home ANYWAY for dinner or lunch at your own home, l agree with everything you said. Personally, I would always give children some fruit snacks while they play, but hey, I am from Croatia, that's just me....

[@BeingSwenglish]

Honestly, those weird tales you mention of breakfast and dinner with receipts just doesn't happen. These are wierd old wives tales and myths, they're not really how Sweden operates in the 2020s.

[@realysalte9730]

I have no idea where people got this from! I have visited many friends and they fed me like hosts in any other country would haha

[@BeingSwenglish]

Exakt, from the 80s and 90s.

[@Doazon]

This is such a weird thing to get hung up on. I grew up in Japan, now married to a Swede, and back home it was unthinkable to eat at a friends house, you just never got invited casually(festivities is a whole other story) and on the few occasions you did end up at your friends house you kept well clear of the family. I've had this discussion with my wife before and to me it all sounds like a lingering thing from way back when Sweden used to be more conservative and as in Japan dinner-time was family time no questions asked(I mean the verbal trashing I would get for not being home for dinner would have made a pirate try to calm my mother down) .

[@BeingSwenglish]

Yeah it's a story from the 80s and 90s, which really is no longer relevant, but some silly tweet had blown up because of it, and people assume that it's how Sweden is now!

[@lordblazer]

that's interesting I've lived in Japan too, but in Kyushu, and yea folks would not let me leave on an empty stomach even if I politely turned it down, they insisted and sat my ass down to the dinner table, and it kinda made me feel at home being from the American South we do this too. But I can't imagine visiting a friend's house, and not alteast saying hello to the family. that's considered bad manners in my culture.

[@dt8101]

wow. why is China the opposite to Japan. In China, people offer the best food to guests regardless they are invited or not. Japan is such a cold blooded society...

[@FuzzyKittenBoots]

Happened to me in the 00's! Never during a sleepover but it definitely didn't stay in the 90s.

[@BeingSwenglish]

I guess it also depends on where you live, how modern the area and upbringing, but for the majority this hasn't happened in the 2000s.

[@FuzzyKittenBoots]

@@BeingSwenglish I mean, sure it's not Singapore or New York, but I wouldn't say Gothenburg was a decade after the rest of the country

[@tsr-animations7798]

Only way for these things to remotely make sense in my head, as a Norwegian, is that it would've happened many years ago, when our countries didn't have the greatest economic status and when food wasn't as secure. Because these days, it's common to have maybe a snack when you visit friends (often fruits, crackers or something else that is light), obviously something to drink like water, tea, coffee, juice, etc. Proper food, like with dinner and stuff like that, usually you'd only be staying at your friends' house until dinner and then go home or get picked up to go home, unless you're staying longer because your guardians is on a late shift at work, staying overnight, other family can't pick up. The food is usually offered if you're staying longer for one reason or another, and it's usually agreed upon between the guardians.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Precisely, in the 80s and 90s...but definitely not now!

[@gryyta9617]

​@@BeingSwenglish well i dont want it to be, but its still kind of like that. You feel like you'd owe them something if you accept the "invitation" and either decline the meal or just eat a slice of bread and some water. Otherwise you go home before the meal. And if you stay to eat you try to not eat much the very least so you dont look like you need the food. Its just in the culture and i find it quite annoying but i just cant do otherwise either because then i feel bad about myself. It might be more left here in northern Sweden's culture rather than the big cities but here at least its still common to feel that way.

[@darthashpie]

As a Indian it's like a law like if you have a guest at home they need to well fed everytime. We have a saying Athitidevobhavo meaning Guest is God. Don't take this in Arrogant or ignorant way

[@veronicag.805]

I was a child in the 70th. To not be invited to the dinner table in Sweden is a clue for the child - it's time to go home... this is about children running around in the neighborhood. If you are invited from the parents you are always invited to the dinner table. And to come home already satisfied when my mother maybee have done my favorite dinner is not appreciated. I think it is because when both parents work so much they the dinner time is so valuable family time.

[@LGNilsson]

Sadly, it does happen. Even my half brother did it to me, believe it or not. In all fairness, most of the time I just got sent home when my friends families were going to have dinner. That said, most people don't behave like this and obviously if you have guests over, most people would serve them food or fika or something, but not everyone's inclined that way. I wasn't brought up this way though and my old man always offered what we had and then people could accept or turn it down.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for the comment buddy, but when are you referring to, the 80s/90s? If so, then this video is correct, it doesn't happen now, as suggested by these tabloid rags.

[@LGNilsson]

@@BeingSwenglish sure, it was some time ago, but do you really think things have changed that much? Some people never change and most learn from their parents. I guess it has become a "tradition" in some homes. I think your approach is very reasonable, but I'm sure not everyone agrees. Hell, I was over doing some filming at my last boss' place in London about 6-7 years ago, we were nearly done and his wife let him know lunch was ready. Do you think me and my colleague were offered to join them? Not a chance and he was Italian.

[@anaisnatural5384]

So sad 😭

[@benyamamare6505]

read the article first, came straight here to find out if it's real. I'm Ethiopian and it would be UNBELIEVABLY RUDE in our culture to not feed a guest, especially children

[@dontliebehonest6545]

And in Swedish culture it is not rude at all.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Exactly, ans it doesn't happen here, we feed kids and other parents feed my kids. This was a topic of the 80s/90s, not the present

[@benyamamare6505]

@@dontliebehonest6545 of course every place has it's culture. It's wrong to judge with the lens of another. It's just surprising, maybe even counterintuitive i suppose

[@dontliebehonest6545]

@@benyamamare6505 I can fully understand that it seems and feels wierd; and in some situations, like one story I read where a child who slept over at a friends house did not get breakfast the next day, I can wholeheartdly feel it is just wrong. If that story has true, I would love to know what those adults were thinking and how they ended up there. I am born 92, indegnious Swede and I have, at friends who are indegnious Swedes and at friends who have an immigrant background, been asked if I wanted to eat, if I wanted to stay in the room or go home, told to go home, gone home because I knew dinner was at six and so on.

[@marymorales4155]

@@BeingSwenglish I wouldn't say it just completely stopped in the 80/90s a lot of Swedes are commenting that it is happening still, and not necessarily in the super rural places either

[@louiseida3721]

I have experienced this growing up and my parents def have done this and my friends parents too. No one gets offended if this happens, like? If you didnt plan before hand that you were going to eat along, then you didnt. Its just something that we dont do, of course some family might differ from this. But i have seen some comments that are not very friendly and make it seem as if their cultural " way " of doing things are superior and that we are snobs. But infact i didnt even know anyone could be offended by this EVER until i saw it trending and read it. So i am sure that Swedes dont care if they are invited or not by their friends parents for dinner. Its just abit frustrating seeing people write things about a whole population as if we all are idiots.

[@ninjaraymond]

When I was little, we usually had a time that was carved in stone unlike now. you ate at half past five to have time to watch children's TV at 6 o'clock. At that time it was only a program that lasted 30 minutes. So you usually went home relatively early and ate at home. But of course it happened that you ate with friends even then, but very rarely. When you got older, you got to eat at friends houses. But I can remember that it sometimes happened that you did not got to eat at friends houses, but did not think it was strange, probably I ran home half an hour later to eat. And that was rare. Us Swedes are funny in such a way that we do almost everything in the world so as not to be a discomfort to anyone. "Do you want food?" "No I just ate" or "no thank you, I'm not hungry" even though I'm as hungry as a lion. You just dont want to be a burden in any kind of way.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Agreed, it's a lovely Swedish way/nature and I hope that it isn't eroded as the future years pass by, keep being Swedish :) thanks for the comment!

[@fresken142]

3:50 The thing is, the "problem" did exist. In Sweden we have not have food enough in the past(due to only having one harvest) so the norm became not splurging the food supply to everyone's kids., Did you read the article and said well that's stupid, that's ridiculous.

[@BeingSwenglish]

The same in every single European country and wider, back in the 80s and 90s. But in the 2020s this is a non-news story

[@fresken142]

@@BeingSwenglish just a question, have you seen the "Inglehart-Welzel Cultural map"?

[@DrCruel]

My understanding, given Swedish cuisine, is that food is not shared out of respect for foreign guests.

[@anaisnatural5384]

Arabs lived in Sahara (desert), you know living there is very hard but they were verrrrry generous and they still are, they be like: we have an entire roasted sheep for dinner habibi

[@wissemaljazairi]

The immigrants taught the swedish some manners.. that's why this exclusion thing doesn't exist anymore.

[@hannaskoog7897]

Omg my son is 17 now and never did i do that to my sons friends….

[@BeingSwenglish]

Exakt, same here!

[@karlbeckwith5330]

It must have been a slow news day when the media reported this. My experience is that no adult in Sweden would ever exclude a child from food as long as the parents agree to it.

[@Sanniz]

I think you take it little further than it should. Most of this came from old days when we didn't live like now with so much to choose from. Remember in many countries they have harvest many times per year = more food at the table. In Sweden bigger part of Sweden only harvest once per year (mybe twice in South as Skåne). That mean there wasn't much during a whole year, specially a long, dark and cold Winter. That thing have followed for very many years. And who knows with prizes that raises a lot for a bigger family today, maybe that's soon a normal way again. I have been waiting in another room when I was little (gonna be 54 this year), but I also been invited for dinner. Sometimes I already had food. Or everything went opposite with my friend/s. But no one really thought it was stupid and so. Plus many Swedes grown up with the thing never put yourself in debt. All countries have their tradition. But this thing isn't that common anymore. I just think it's more weird that it upset so many when those things were more usually when I was kid many years ago. But who knows... Maybe many soon have to tighten their pockets to afford getting food for own family. We probably share til that day we actually start starve and can't afford paying our bills.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Thanks for your comment. The context of the current "scandal" is that it's happening now, that's the point that I'm responding to in this video, but back in the 80s it may have been the case, but that it isn't now. Thanks for the comment!

[@Sanniz]

@@BeingSwenglish I don't think I heard that it is usually nowadays. Think someone just digged up something and made it go viral.

[@gryyta9617]

​@@Sanniz I still have the feeling many of us (up north at least) have this thing in your head still today, more of a moral than a need to cut costs...many of us did/do it just without even questioning it, going home for dinner, saying "im fine, just a glass of water please" when youre actually really hungry or just trying to not eat much at friends so you dont go in "debt". Now im talking about me/friends of mine and im 16

[@Sanniz]

@@gryyta9617 sad to hear that. My dad was from north. But can it be that many don't have so much money up in north? Plus not same type of big stores with cheaper prizes? Don't think many push food into themselfes, if they were not invited from start. Often people just do dinner enough to those they calculated for. And I also wonder, if you are that hungry... didn't you get food at home?

[@Sanniz]

@@eakor8560 but stil cultural difference. Sweden and South Korea have not same culture. And mybe why it's different too. You need to dig up difference in cultures too before judge.

[@anair86]

People of some communities are warm and spontaneous while other are cold and heartless. An unfortunate reality. Confining the guest child to a bedroom while the family ate is cruel.

[@SicketMog]

Cruel? What kind of a pathetic special snowflake are you? It's perfectly normal around here. When I was a child (and I'm not all that old) if there were plans made beforehand kids would be fed. If there weren't they would get offered fruit/snacks/icecream/drinks etc instead (not cooked food though). Sometimes they could get a portion if there was enough food; despite the lack of planning. In that case my friends would have to call home to make sure it was OK. Know what's cruel? To force a child to eat at your place only for that child to then go back home and get a scolding because their parents made food that their child was expected- and supposed to eat as they were supposed to eat at home as a family unit. Or to force them to eat something that they simply didn't like (they usually didn't offer either but couple of my friends parents offered from time to time yet not with 100% success. They didn't always make the best food and you forget to take into account that the child may not even WANT the food). Then again it's been a while since I was a child. Maybe it's different nowadays. If it is though it's probably not for the better. People are clearly soft. "Cruel".🤦‍♂

[@gm2655]

Child eat very small amount, i cant understand why make it an issue in your country..just kids food In my country we give food to visitors and even to strangers who knocks at the door In Afghanistan even street vendors give children asking for food. Free.

[@ken-gn4pd]

lol weird how they used their economic circumstances as the reason while many other countries are still far below Swedish GDP/Capita still feeds their guest.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Back in the 80s/90s, it was the same in other European countries as well, including the UK. It really isn't an issue now in Sweden.

[@agreekintrondheim]

@BeingSwenglish You keep saying that back in the 90s that happened everywhere. No that is not true. In Mediterranean cultures (i come from Greece) that was not the case, and even when we had the financial crisis, still wasn't the case. There was never any kind of possibility that back in the 80s and 90s people would not be polite and would not feed their guests. As a person who is not Mediterranean, you do not even know what you are saying in this matter, yet keep talking about other cultures "it was common everywhere". No it was not! You keep saying in every comment the same thing to justify a certain situation that was and still is happening in Sweden. Relax! You even have actual Swedes in the comments telling you that this thing is still happening and yet you act as if you know better while you have been there only for the last three years (as a comment points out in this video). In our southern cultures that would never be a thread because guess what, it never happens. You can literally see poor people in small houses yet they will still prepare food to feed their guests no matter what. It is called "politeness" and yeap that is why Mediterranean countries are the most visited in Europe by tourists (it is not only a matter of beautiful sunny weather and beaches, it is a matter of warmness in general). I should also add, that what Swedes (the majority) do in their culture, should be respected because at the end of the day if it is a cultural characteristic, it is their culture, and me as a southern European i do not understand it at all, yet i respect it as a part of the broader European culture. And Sweden have been so accepting in general as a country especially in people that had the need to find a place/country to stay, so this whole situation about "Swedes not preparing food for their guests" is really really overdrammatic.

[@빨간비단]

Regardless of race, religion, and environment, the culture that mankind naturally shared is what guests treat with utmost care. Don't share a global standard culture that everyone in the world shares? It's usually called uncivilized barbarians. That's racism? This is what white Europeans did, or are still doing, to other cultures. It's because of poverty? Korea, which had fallen into the poorest country due to the Korean War, also naturally served guests.

[@victorias6250]

I'm swedish and I've literally never been without food at a friend’s house. This has blown out of proportion and a bunch of misunderstandings has occured. Swedes typically treat guests well in my experience. We just don't like throwing away food or make too little, so parents usually ask beforehand or discuss with the childs guardians if they will stay over for dinner or not. Whites being racists? Swedes has taken in so many immigrants, given them housing, food, education etc even if it has affected our systems and population poorly. I used to live in South Korea for 2 years. A lot of racism there. Especially against Africans, middle eastern and southeast asians. And I was often asked if I was a russian prostitute eve though I didn't show a lot of skin. Racism exists eveywhere, not just in white majority countries. Even more so in South Korea in comparisom to Sweden since Korea is a very homogeneous population.

[@빨간비단]

@@victorias6250 In Korea, it is taught that it is not polite to visit unannounced during mealtimes. However, that does not mean that it does not feed children at all like Sweden. If everyone in East and West says that this culture is wrong, it is natural that this culture should be changed. Even if Korea is a faraway country on the other side of the world, even the same Europeans think it is strange. As you say, Korea has never invaded the same colonies as white Europeans, so it is a homogeneous race and therefore there is a problem of racism. Naturally, Korea is campaigning for this to change, and it is not making ridiculous excuses that industrialization is late or poor like the current Swedes. White people of Christian civilization in Europe always forced their culture and called it civilized. If it's the other way around, they should think about changing themselves, why make ridiculous excuses? It has never been said that Swedes refused to be treated in the same situation when they traveled to other countries.

[@victorias6250]

@@빨간비단 The thing is though that we do feed children if they visit during mealtime and if it is decided that they won't eat at home. So a bunch of misinformation is spreading around and just pure hate against a population for no reason at all. They simply don't undertand it in context. All of Scandinavia does similar things, my Chinese friend say they do it like that too and my Japanese said there's no difference there. I mean, I persoanlly saw a lot of strange things with Korean culture that I also think a majority of the world agree with, but if I'm in your country and that's the way you want it to be, I simply have to adapt. Sweden making excuses? We've never denied European historical events that has been bad. We also can't blame the people of the present for something that happened way before they were born. That's group punishing and exactly what they do in North Korea. Should I be angry at today's Germans for what happened during WW2? Of course not. They had no power over it. Forcing a culture upon someone else? You should see what's actually going on in Sweden. There's a large group of people from another culture that immigrated here and want us to adapt and change for them, not the opposite. That's happening in the present and not the past. If we say anything about it we are called racist even though it has nothing to do with race. You think that's suddenly okay? Sweden today is a secular state and not religious. Christianity is in the past.

[@빨간비단]

@@victorias6250 Even if Sweden is a secular state, it cannot be changed that the basis of culture is Christian civilization. East Asia is currently one of the world's most secular places, but it is as if it cannot be explained without Confucianism. The reason why today's Jews don't blame Germany is because they made sincere apologies and reflections. Germany isn't responsible and apologizing for Namibia, and is under fire for it. After all, the problem is this. Hospitality, a culture that works around the world, does not work only in northern Europe. It is natural that an unscheduled visit is unwelcome, but at least not feeding the child is a matter for themselves to seriously consider. Anyway, shouldn't we at least feed the child?

[@wallenbergphoto]

North korean troll again!

[@xagemox]

I think this can be a thing in the 80-90s dont knove why it was.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Exactly, largely due to money and lack of finances during economic crash, but absolutely not the case now. Thanks for the comment!

[@bmva8263]

Cheap people indeed you don’t ask parents if you feed your kid and his friend happiness to be there

[@mellz39]

Nobody believes you when there’s a whole thread of Sweden people admitting to this

[@minime6339]

And yet this just goes to show how ignorant people are believing this crap.

[@BeingSwenglish]

But are they really Swedish people responding, or just trolls having a laugh? The majority of the responses on these articles and tweets are parody and jokes. Thanks for the comment!

[@mellz39]

It’s not a troll, but I tell you what I’m noticing, it seems like the immigrates who moved there experience it the most, so it’s probably more of a racist thing, but you can’t say it’s a trolll when people born and raised in Sweden are making excuses for it like “we highest taxes in the world” so clearly it’s true, you just didn’t experience it. Everything is not a trolll

[@BeingSwenglish]

It's not "clearly true" at all, just because you read about it on the internet, from some randomers on Twitter.

[@LGNilsson]

@@mellz39 sorry, but it has NOTHING to do with racism. Please don't bring that into this.

[@lllqq134]

Climate makes it. I'm South Korean and there is no that culture but I can know the origin of the culture. People who reside in very cold climate don't used to experience sweat in body. It is dried easily when clothes are took off. In such environment people get to be unfamiliar with all kind of 'sticky sense'. And warm kindness, "together-ism", having sympathy are felt as 'sticky thing'. So, some of them feel uncomfortable feeling when they face it, and try to prevent to face that. Korean population also contain northern cold area-origin people and they show such attitude more than other people.(Of course, it is not generalization to them.) Anyway, I wish Scandinavians become more "humble" about teaching 'humane values' to other nations from now. They are already better than you in many sides.

[@atomic2808]

You must prepare sandwiches when you visit your Swedish friend’s house 😂😂 a stingy Swede

[@cdcdcd6777]

I don't think you can comment on this " myth and stereotype, nonsense" when actual Swedes says this was the culture in 80s and 90s. To be fair. but good to know its not a thing now. haha

[@BeingSwenglish]

Did you not see the title of the video? And i absolutely can comment on it, when it's not an issue now, yet the world's press and media are blowing up this story for no reason ..

[@darko3582]

80's, 90's, yeah right, happened all the time to my kids few years ago

[@owentroy331]

What are you talking about?????????that happened to me. Immigrants are the ones teaching us inviting people for dinner is a normal thing.

[@diegorodriguez-bz7yf]

damn those swedes who wont feed guests

[@BeingSwenglish]

Haha, back in the 80s and 90s, it was common everywhere in Europe, not just in Sweden!

[@prototype8861]

Never happened to this dude who is there for only 3 years and not Swedish. Try that food thing with the Dutch next time. And also Zwarte Piet. It's hilarious Thank me later.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Nope, it's not a 2020s thing, it's from the 80s and 90s...

[@prototype8861]

@@BeingSwenglish So it's safe travelling to Sweden these days? I'm starving.

[@BeingSwenglish]

Yeah buddy, we'll cook up some meatballs for you!

[@Herocoldfinger]

Ethnology is the study of ethnicity not ethics

[@BeingSwenglish]

Actually no, it's a study of culture and differences between people, which isn't necessarily related to ethnicity, but more to cultural differences.

[@superslammer]

I wonder if this is an old thing... like really old. Because some swedes have admitted to this happening but its hard to tell whether they are trolling or what.

[@BeingSwenglish]

It could quite possibly be, although those responding I suspect aren't actually Swedish, they may live in Sweden and perhaps it relates more to their culture than to Sweden's. Even while living in the UK, this would occur when dinner-time would arrive and it was time for friends to go home, that's not Swedish, that's just family-life! Thanks for the comment as always buddy!

[@BeingSwenglish]

p.s. share this video to your friends to get their reaction!

[@superslammer]

@@eakor8560 Kind of not seeing how that is on topic here.

[@NRT-xy8if]

Sven,please Go to the spare room and play with the ikea toys while we have ikea meatballs for dinner 🤪😂

[@BeingSwenglish]

Hahaha precis 🤣🤣😆😆

[@RTKim94]

i enjoy swedengate.

[@BeingSwenglish]

But why?

[@gathonindungu3487]

Its very aggressive behaviour from the grown ups to do that against another child🥶😱 Its crazy how stingy people can be? To offer a child friend a bit of the food doesnt make any body poor? But that child can never forget Passiv aggression and gaslighting is very common in Sweden 🇸🇪Swedes gaslight foreighners all the time with their judging without knowing anything abt the person they judge

[@victorias6250]

Lol, sounds more like you're gaslighting and being passive aggressive towards Swedes now if anything..

[@BeingSwenglish]

Gathonibdid you miss the entire content of this video, which clearly states that in this present context of the 2020s, this does not happen in Sweden? People here are generous and friendly, please listen once again to the video, ans rethink your comment. You're gaslighting right now buddy!

[@carinaskareby7919]

I grew up in middle class Göteborg in the 60’s and early 70’s. I had never heard of this cultural phenomenon until last week. When the hosting family has dinner it is time to go home. If someone would have asked me to stay in a bed room I would have understood even at a young age (like eight) that I had over stayed my welcome and it was time to go home.

[@masavant]

One of the funny things I find people doing with this argument is conflating meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) with snacks. I fully agree with you that meal times are home time for visiting children, yet the biggest thing I see just baffles me is that these grown nearly 30 year olds are saying this happened when they were children, in 30 years parenting culture has changed a lot, in places like Ireland and rural areas of Australia 30 - 40 years ago it was common place to see children having meals at the local pub, entering the local TAB with a fiver (gambling house) and leaving with hundreds of dollars, were able to buy alcohol and cigarettes and my favourite drive a car at the old age of 7. While this might not be as common these days or renamed "family time", it is up to the parent not the child to make the choice to feed the guest or send them home for it is the parent who pays for the food, I have seen and know families where they are "10 cent packet ramen noodles don't grow on trees" or "choose, food or a utility bill (electric, gas or water)" and these aren't minority families, they are regular families where either way of life, debt, injury or disability have caught up with them and feeding another child is a luxury they cannot afford, most families will reach that point at least one time in their life. So if I continue to hear the argument about Swedes not sharing their booze at a barbeque because of the racism of the Swedish culture and Swedengate, I urge these people to take the time to find a family with whom they are calling oppressors and struggle to feed, cloth and house their family members, with the international recession already here these people are more so easier to find now.

[@tropik5724]

I grow up in the 90s Sweden and this never happend to me or my friends maybe because I grow up in the countryside.

[@azisn45]

Ohhhh it never happened to me or I don’t do it so NO SWED does it!!!!!! Stupid counter argument!!!

[@jc_777]

Maybe they did it differently because you're from Britain?

[@BeingSwenglish]

No, it's because many countries were the same in this respect in the 80s and 90s, but that now it really doesn't happen.

[@jc_777]

@@BeingSwenglish I doubt it was the same elsewhere.

[@aravindc102]

I haven;t seen a dinosaur so that means they didn't exist , right ?

[@BeingSwenglish]

Haven't you seen fossils from many many years ago? Same for this topic, there are remnants of this from the 80s/90s, but it really doesn't happen today.

[@GayBunzBrapBrap]

Male version of a pick me

[@BeingSwenglish]

Care to explain what on earth you mean by this!?