The Worst Human Resources (HR) Nightmares

[@brainblaze6526]

Get 20% off your Lucy order: thld.co/lucy_blazemar

[@chillcannongames5758]

Fuck yes simon. More more. It's like an adiction

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

Thanks fact boi

[@pin65371]

Can you guys do a video on Rob Ford? Dude was a legend.

[@Erkle64]

Code 20%, BLAZE off

[@PeterCombs]

the Lacoste check was for $2,448/ NET

[@eugenics_gone_wrong1939]

Please don't shorten this videos! The amount of shitting around and storytimes are the most hilarious thing and basically why I watch every video. And the memes of course.

[@Zyo117]

Shortening the script in itself is a meme nowadays

[@Hugin-N-Munin]

Yeah, it's basically the point of watching. It's like with Firekitten videos. They have this disclaimer "Warning: The following video contains adult humor, language and video game violence. Let's be honest, it's why you came here" For Business Blaze it should be "Warning: this video contains Simon half-reading the script, going off on weird tangents, reading the script, and memes"

[@jesselynds5411]

yes i need long videos so he talks all the way through my sleeps.

[@michelle8190]

Danny is using your videos to document his life for his future grandkids.

[@helenafarkas4534]

That’s assuming that Simon will import a woman into the basement to bear the children to start on the grandchild train

[@morganhyjek2954]

I think this could be the new How I Met Your Mother lol

[@lehlohonololelakane9468]

@@helenafarkas4534 essentially giving Simon and his clones and endless stream of new content from Danny and his loins

[@lenny5774]

Lucy is a film with Scarlett Johansson and Morgan Freeman that even Morgan couldn't improve

[@2023-Sucked]

That’s assuming Simon lets him out of the basement

[@Jbot123]

My first boss at a real job described HR as "neither human, nor a resource."

[@aerialmacaroon6312]

Says a lot about them when even the bosses don’t like them

[@guitarpop]

@@aerialmacaroon6312 That's a terrible conclusion to draw. What it says is that they are outside the boss' authority, which most bosses do not appreciate.

[@aerialmacaroon6312]

@@guitarpop fair sorry

[@neuralnetwork17]

@@guitarpop That quote of OP's boss gives us so little information that drawing any conclusion as to why that boss doesn't like HR is a terrible conclusion to draw. Yours is as speculative as the one you criticised. There is no way to know with the information we have.

[@mitchellguerrerio]

HR….. HRE? Neither holy nor Roman nor an empire 😅

[@Varizen87]

When I was a teaching assistant, the professor that I was working with would tell a lecture hall of 600 students "HR is not your friend. They're not there to protect you. HR exists exclusively to cover the ass of the company you work for."

[@mp40submachinegun81]

My mom is a nurse in a maximum security prison, they have a jar which at the start of the month everyone puts $5 into. Following that for the next month every time someone gets a death threat they put another dollar in the jar and mark it on a peice of paper, at the end of the month the person with the least death threats wins the money. They used to do the person with the most threats wins as a consolation prize but stopped because they figured it was a matter of time until someone was accused of inciting threats due to the pot being multiple hundreds of dollars at times.

[@digapygmy70]

Oh my God, that is NOT what I expected bell-end to mean! I assumed it actually had something to do with bells, maybe saying that someone's head is as empty as one. The best insult I ever heard came from this one girl I knew in high school who was calling some other girl a blockhead. I said, "That's not really that savage," and she replied, "No, I mean she gives head to the entire block!" That caught EVERYONE off-guard and I will never forget it lmao!

[@eowyn-faramir-reads]

Daaaaamn that girl was a BEAST

[@brainblaze6526]

LOL

[@TheWaterboarders]

@@brainblaze6526 Do you know what a douchebag is though. And can you believe there is actually a brand of luggage called Douchebag?!! Perhaps the time is right to market Bellend Bags in the USA

[@luna775]

I was going to give you a like, but i saw 69 and considering the blockhead story, i decided to keep the 69 and said NICE

[@madotsuki_mk1]

For years (until recently) I was sure "bell end" was referring to the ass.

[@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842]

Switching between Simon Whistler's channels is the best: "It remains a symbol of the distances a humankind can cross through creativity, ingenuity and determination..." "...I haven't murdered any homeless people lately."

[@brainblaze6526]

:D

[@brainblaze6526]

LATELY.

[@barrydysert2974]

Mentally invigorating!:-)👍🖖

[@MichaelWarman]

Allegedly, lately

[@michaelrath6475]

Lately? This week? This month?...

[@ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings.]

This channel has ruined me for the other ten thousand channels Simon runs. I'd love to see a Today I Found Out video with Simon just joking and swearing his way through.

[@SEAZNDragon]

The Blaze sneaks through sometimes and even pours out. Go look at his video on TIFO about cute aggression.

[@StreakyBaconMan]

I feel like the more he does Business Blaze the more this sort of behavior seems to spread into videos on his other channels. It's always disappointing when he doesn't say Simon Whistler AKA Dick Head though.

[@irekaias]

Since The dawn of the Age of the Blaze it has began to spill out.

[@YeeSoest]

It's the opposite for me. The whole WORLD knows Simon Whistler. It's only us lot here who get to see behind the mask and glance at the true face of factboi

[@ziggygunz2447]

Since watching business Blaze I swear I see the BB humor bleeding into the more "serious" channels lol

[@TheDungeonofBadDecisions]

"He wouldn't mind a job where he wasn't treated with utter contempt and threats of violence" yeah don't go into retail then

[@221b-l3t]

Or restaurants

[@SupremeLeaderKimJong-un]

Bryn is a Welsh name, Simon It means hill. I know all

[@SATX_09]

The supreme leader and respected Marshall has blessed us with your presents down here in the comments.... We are so honored.👌

[@CharizardMaster69]

There’s several streets named “Bryn Mawr” I always asked who the fuck he is?

[@ShiroAustin]

@@CharizardMaster69 Bryn also means hill, Bryn Faur would literally translate to Big Hill

[@Adam-qs5ir]

Dear Leader!

[@xr88yu]

Lost some weight recently, good for you!

[@reaghank8602]

HR exists to protect the company, not the workers

[@tosh_is_me942]

Well yeah,... kinda obvious given that its literally calling employees "human resources",.... I cant think of a more degrading, homogeneous term for what should generally be "valued individuals"...

[@nurgle11]

@@tosh_is_me942 I think they should call the "livestock" :D

[@randomstuff-qu7sh]

@@tosh_is_me942 It used to be Personnel Administration. I guess we got downgraded from people to resources in the eyes of businesses.

[@Mogijup]

@@randomstuff-qu7sh oh shit, I didn’t even know that

[@ziggygunz2447]

Wow it's gotten so blatant that companies just flat out DO NOT care about employees.

[@thehidden1246]

I am subscribed to likely all your channels but Business Blaze is hands down my favorite! Always a good laugh congrats to the whole team.

[@WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken]

I like that the sponsors here are so loyal. Every video it's either Magellan, Surfshark, Dashlane, or SquareSpace. Not sure why but that makes me happy

[@MichaelWarman]

This is at least the second from Lucy. There have been a handful of Magic Spoon ones, too

[@WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken]

@@MichaelWarman Yeah, thought Lucy sounded familiar, just wasn't a 100% sure. Magic Spoon is also a good shout. Point being he has very loyal sponsors though, and that's nice

[@WhyAreAllTheGoodUsernamesTaken]

@rapheALtoid Tbf the odds of it being sponsored by one of those though were pretty high

[@awmperry]

HR isn’t about “providing humans with resources” - it refers to humans *being* resources. It’s the same sense as the phrase “people are our most valuable asset”...

[@ivanv754]

More like “people are tools”

[@bluegenes2273]

"Soylent Green Dept." was, after all, a bit too on the nose.

[@phantomechelon3628]

@@ivanv754 A good description for most HR staff I've had the misfortune to speak to.

[@phantomechelon3628]

...and simultaneously our most expendable assets...

[@awmperry]

@@phantomechelon3628 Staff are cheap to replace. ;)

[@Tritium21]

$78k in new york city will get you a closet to eat your pot noodles in. Its a lot for most cities, but not for new york.

[@torijones5194]

A friend of mine followed her fiance to California (he was in the Navy). She got a job out there for $40,000 a year. In Texas that's a respectable starting salary. In California it wasn't enough and she had to look for another job.

[@semaj_5022]

Yeah here in Louisville KY, you can live alone fairly comfortably at $78k a year and even save and invest money if rent an apartment and stay within your means. In NYC? You need at least one roommate and a second job, and maybe, just *maybe* you can manage the cheapest available 2 bedroom apt. You're definitely not owning a car though. And you better hope one of those jobs provides health insurance.

[@fuckingimpossible]

Can we also talk about 78k coming from 15 dollars an hour is (maths) 100 hours a week? WTF Quit your job if youre working 100 hours a week, no one is paying you enough. no one ever pays anyone enough to work 20 hours shy of an entire 5-day work week.

[@nathanweitzman9531]

And on top of what y'all said, the fella was top in sales for the flagship store in Manhattan. Lacoste really got what they deserved for all that. Hope the guy found something much better for his talents.

[@jacksone5856]

Two and a half minutes in, and Simon discovers the root of America's police problem; but only after de-glassing and revealing a set of beautiful eyes!

[@wut274]

Surely number 1 is the situation Simon has with Danny and Sam in the basement?! 😅😆🤣

[@stephjovi]

He even dares to deny it. As if we bought that denial. Danny isn't in the basement. Yeah sure 😉if the police asks you don't know where he is you only email him

[@wiiretime3704]

The real catch is that there really in the attic

[@CharizardMaster69]

AND EBA

[@nellom.8771]

@@stephjovi ...

[@QuantitativeMethods]

Nailed it!!!

[@TheDungeonofBadDecisions]

I was in the middle of petting my cat when Simon started talking about cleaning his glasses. I looked back at the screen, and my first thought was "Who is this stranger squinting back at me?"

[@emilyc8958]

The worst 'disregard previous email' I ever received was from a disability service provider who meant to sign off with 'regards' but she replaced the 'g' with a 't'

[@Blargaha]

"He's a democrat... They're more anti big business, right?" Oh you sweet summer child Simon

[@DavidInMonroe318]

Yep I lol'ed too 😂

[@KS-PNW]

To be fair, I'm an American adult and I can't confidentially tell you what the platform of any of Britain's political parties might be. Not shocking a Brit doesn't have ours down pat..

[@EnyalienMini]

I remember a time where that was at least the perception they went for...

[@rustlemyjimmys]

Don't worry I'm British and I instantly looked for a comment along these lines. We generally have a good grasp of US and world politics however Simon's innocence is somehow still intact. Whether that's due to him living outside of the UK or due to his line of work it's difficult to say. It is a endearing type of naivety though 😂

[@flyingdutchman4794]

Umm... yeah. I can't expect Simon, as an expat Brit, to be completely up on US politics, but... Jeezuz. Welcome to the Adlai Stevenson campaign. BTW: don't you miss counting your money in pounds, Simon? "Euros", good God.

[@Kwastaken]

So happy with the amount of blaze that is being bestowed upon us as of late... please don’t stop...

[@maeahem]

Human Resources can get so petty, I can understand the prison officer finding the former job more straightforward.

[@hippiemoses336]

This entire channel is truly 100% the opposite of how KZbin says a channel should be... I really think that's why we love it so much!!!

[@hippiemoses336]

Also, I will be very happy to spread bellend all over North Carolina. Sounds a little better than douchebag anyways..

[@davidwagner2280]

"You dont have to work tell your 18" Me in 3rd grade with a paper route because we were so poor I had to buy my own clothing.

[@fusfauxpas]

Hostboi, Typeboi, and Memeboi did a great job 👌

[@MildredCady]

Re: $15/hr job Well, living in the NYC metro area is expensive. If he was living in NYC itself his rent alone is between $2k-$4k a month depending on where he is for a 1 bedroom apartment, not including utilities, phone, internet, transportation costs, food, and the need to replace worn/broken items/clothes/etc. I live outside of Boston with my husband and our mortgage payments for a 3 bedroom house is probably cheaper than his rent.

[@NecroAsphyxia]

My suggestion would be to... not live in downtown NYC...

[@MildredCady]

@@NecroAsphyxia True, but if you’re outside of the city proper it’s still hella expensive and then you have commuting expenses. A monthly metrocard is $127 a month just for the subway. Depending on how far out you move on the Metro North it can be another $200-$500 a month for that unlimited pass on top of the MetroCard.

[@dudepool7530]

Hey fellow Masshole! Worcester still sucks lmao.

[@seanmeagher5163]

The American police joke at the start about police brutality had me in tears. Both tears of laughter and also tears of sad relevance.

[@jaybeemhardscrote7466]

Same

[@1IGG]

Because of the tear gas, I assume.

[@kazumablackwing4270]

@@1IGG either that, or because they shot his dog

[@TheSoonToBePurgedJackMeHoff55]

Chauvin did nothing wrong

[@lukenel29]

10% of all of the people murdered in the US each year are killed by the police.

[@thomasstewart9752]

hearing about your dad chewing gum he hated is kind of heartwarming when you consider that he was probably doing it instead of smoking so that you wouldn't think smoking is cool.

[@ablbelle8953]

My work just had an employee meeting where they tried to get us to sign a paper saying we wouldn't discuss our pay thank you Simon for reminding me about the National Labor Relations Act. Although a few of my coworkers are now pretty pissed about how much I make compared to them. Edit: thank you Danny! I forgot that the factboi just reads the paper.

[@adamtate6168]

Simon: *makes very mild political statement* Simon immediately after: "That's not...I'm just saying that...I don't know anything! Leave me alone!" And that, boys and girls, is a conditioned response

[@jeremymizer8958]

Problem with his comment is, neither party cares about the little man.

[@phantomechelon3628]

Hence all the "Allegedly...thats just my opinion...please don't sue me!"

[@tapiwa-chipog.maruza1700]

​@phantomechelon3628

[@deathring1133]

Simon, remember that the cost of living in NYC is way higher than pretty much anywhere else in the US. So I'd be surprised that this Wade guy could even afford an apartment at $15/hour, assuming he lived alone.

[@lucythecbckidsfan8200]

Thank you for letting me sponsor this video Simon! I’m a huge fan of your content! ❤️❤️❤️ ~ Lucy (P.S. I was snickering the first time I seen this video because i thought you were talking to me)

[@jeremymiller4280]

That story about the photo of the paycheck reminds me of the Streisand effect. Some examples of that would be fun for a Business Blaze.

[@JohnSuave]

8 words into the script and Simon's asking "what is going on??"... best channel on KZbin period. PS. Sam's use of Rob Ford makes me so happy 😆

[@Fallassa]

This is where UNIONS come in!! Unions do what most people *assume* HR does. Solidarity improves conditions for all workers, office and factory, service and production, everyone involved. The only way to guarantee an improvement in working conditions for yourself is to improve them for everyone. These days, people (at least those in the US) are underpaid, overworked, chronically sleep deprived, and have incredibly high stress levels. We have the technology and resources to make life easier for everyone! There are better ways to exist. Solidarity forever!!

[@FluffieXStarshine]

A girl I worked with at the mall got fired for pictures of her in front of the store wearing her name badge on social media. She had met a friend for lunch who took a selfie of the two of them before the girl went back to work. The friend tagged the mall and the store, and it apparently was against the corporates rules to take pictures of the store location, unless it's approved by cooperate. She didn't even get a chance to ask the friend to take it down, she just got fired by the end of her shift.

[@victorvohntdeampeste9295]

I still think that "Danny" is how Simon explains away his sleep working.

[@dappperdan5731]

Fight club style!

[@barneynedward]

@@dappperdan5731 Mrs doubtfire style.

[@anon2234]

@@barneynedward lol the idea of Simon crossdressing before just sitting down at a computer to type up a script is great.

[@pr0xZen]

Wherher 78k is a good salary or not, heavily depend on the cost of living, and how much income you generate for your employer. 78k may be crap for a top salesperson of high value/margin goods and services, that generates his employer a 7-8 figure profit.

[@eowyn-faramir-reads]

Yeah pulling down 40k a WEEK jesus Christ that guys severely underpaid, considering it's a clothing brand and he's pulling in 2mil max per year for his company. That's like... Less than 1% of what he's pulling in for the company in his paycheck.

[@pr0xZen]

@@eowyn-faramir-reads Just to get it out of the way: This of course depends a whole lot on profit _margin_ too. In this scenario, if you're pulling in 40k in sales for _the producer,_ that's gonna be a goldmine for the employer. If pulling 40k for _a distributor,_ that's (really) good, but a totally different level of actual profit.

[@supern0vae]

@@eowyn-faramir-reads He signed a contract for a 3% commission. That's pretty standard in sales. If he wanted more he could have negotiated for a higher contract.

[@CrudzMcKenzie]

A person can live comfortably on $75k per year pretty much anywhere in the US. I guess it depends on your definition of "good." Of course that's a relative term.

[@pr0xZen]

@@CrudzMcKenzie True, but that wasn't the point. This was far more of getting paid "what your work is worth", than what you can fund a comfortable life with. If your employer has very high net profit margin (in clothing profit margin is commonly VERY high for a producer/manufacturer), you're bringing in $2M in sales a year and that's 80+% profit - your work is worth more than 78k/yr. A surgeon making mean avg ~$300k/yr, doesn't make that because that what he/she needs to fund a comfortable living. He/she makes that because their work bring in millions a year. It's different with at the other end of the spectrum, because there we're often into the opposite - employers that would rather pay you nothing at all if they legally could, regsrdless of whst your labor is worth. No one (that I know at least) is asking minimum wage must be enough for a cushy life doing 40 hours a week. But it should be within reason, enough to _survive living reasonably near your place of work;_ a roof over your head, food, bills, medical neccessities - not facing personal bankruptcy if you get a parking ticket.

[@AverytheCubanAmerican]

0:56 I got Rick rolled on Business Blaze... *I'll allow it*

[@chelseaakers7071]

I worked for Sony for several years, packaging PS4 games. We had horrible HR and we were always told never to say anything negative about them. I and every employee I was friends with there told people to never apply there again.

[@Thegreatresetoflife]

Im here for E.T.A. . .. how you doing buddy? I worry about the treatment you receive by Simon.... now time for an other epic Danny moment #etalifematters

[@vampy7341]

Ok, so I'm laughing hysterically because my husband actually got fired for calling an employee a little b****😂😂😂

[@kimslone5185]

HR is there to protect the company from liability. They are not there to hand hold employees. Your analogy to Internal Affairs is accurate.

[@jokerincgaming2730]

Simon please bring this format back, miss you blazing with energy.

[@TheDungeonofBadDecisions]

My dad used to work in HR (for an oil company, I think). He also used to work as a manager for the juniors department in a large store. When I was a kid, I did not know those were two different jobs, based on the way he talked about them - specifically, that he left because he hated the person he was becoming there.

[@jerry2357]

Simon must have led a very sheltered life if he doesn’t know that Doncaster is in Yorkshire, and hasn’t heard the common Welsh name Bryn.

[@mattgies]

Or he's just not very observant.

[@danieweir9588]

He can read good ...

[@icarusmarioFAN]

@@mattgies I'm willing to believe this

[@leo.girardi]

You need to get a cigarette sponsor. So those of us that don't smoke, can start, then after a while we can try Lucy. Vertical market.

[@kgirl1992]

It’s a silent partnership with lucky strikes

[@wastedtalent1625]

Simon Whistler branded vapes? Count me in

[@tosh_is_me942]

Great way to save money is to take up smoking and then quit

[@ignitionfrn2223]

7:10 - Chapter 1 - Lost Paycheck 11:30 - Chapter 2 - Lacoste 15:45 - Chapter 3 - Weekend bonding 19:30 - Mid roll ads 22:30 - Chapter 4 - A lesson in diversity 26:55 - Chapter 5 - Yahoo you are fired...not

[@MrYourfavoritesub]

I love it when Danny delivers a 30 minute script. I live for the long form business blaze videos.

[@boomerix]

A true story from my old company: HR from the United States sends out some weird learning material on how to be a better person at the workplace with big red letters : "make sure to study it and don't just tick that you have read it!". Shortly after our Management in Europe tells us :"yeah no need to really bother wit it, just tick that you have read it to make them happy". I skimmed it, saw that it was loaded with useless bullshit and was glad our management wasn't forcing it down our throats.

[@chicklet494]

I've worked in HR 24 years now...no one likes HR. Yes, we get a bad rap. Love this video!!! Love your rants and "meandering " Fact Boy!! You're fabulous!!

[@canyoufearme1]

So even you don’t like yourself? 😂

[@DC4260Productions]

Anyone else think Simon looks like a completely different person without glasses? As for Doncaster, I know it's in Yorkshire. Incidentally I only know of the place because the London and North Eastern Railway used to built steam locomotives there.

[@MissMaddyMads]

I work both in HR and as a proofreader. I feel ATTACKED! Thanks Danny

[@drboze6781]

Some dumb managers tried similar stunts where I worked where they'd bring in recently-hired people from another area to do some job on a weekend, ignoring the proper channels of work assignment. The look on their faces when they got reprimanded and the senior employee got paid 28 hours for staying home that weekend was priceless.

[@jamielovstromhansen5099]

This Business Blaze episode is bought to you by "Stan's Birthday"

[@deadgoon2170]

"Deified" Simon-"I'm so stupid"....Immediately says "deified" , again... ha!

[@ceciliaaaxiful]

I’m just here to see if ETA has been resurrected. We miss you ETA and we pray for your safe return.

[@syyneater]

As someone that worked at Zappos for 5 years, it was an awesome place to work. Our HR team could pretty much out drink everyone on my team, and they were always a pleasure to work with.

[@Calenrandir]

One of my favorite teachers was an ex prison guard (he taught English). I guess there are some translatable skills between that and working at US middle school.

[@wfjhDUI]

3:54 I also know nothing about working in HR but I would have guessed that it's miserable and soul-crushing work. All day long you need to remind people to behave themselves and deal with other peoples' uncomfortable problems. Is there anything that people in HR actually get to look forward to or feel like they've accomplished?

[@haiironezumi]

Bryn Terfel, accomplished bass-baritone singer, would like to have a word with you Simon.

[@danielnunez4207]

I always just assume that bell end was in reference to the tip of a certain appendage

[@GryphonBrokewing]

There was more humanity to the department when it was called "Personnel" (taking care of the human workers) than when it became "Human Resources" (biological servants of the company).

[@BartJBols]

I had a team building excersize once that was basically making chocolates at a chocolatier, and afterwards we were treated with nachos and snacks.

[@stevenjlovelace]

I only know what a "bell end" is because, for the American showing of "Da Ali G Show", Ali G came on screen an explained the term, complete with an anatomical diagram.

[@knurdarcanix]

Hotmail got turned into Outlook, but anyone who had a Hotmail as an email got to keep it.

[@wpjohn91]

And we will never change it

[@jjlortez]

@@wpjohn91 and we have a psychopath :)

[@TrashDeviant]

I've had the same mobile number since like 2007 and all of my email accounts are Hotmail. Outlook kinda sucks, but I hate making new accounts on anything. I'd rather deal with a shitty UI than the stress of creating new accounts.

[@TheTokenBilly]

I still use my 17 year old Hotmail address as my primary email. The only way I'll change is if they make me..

[@archstanton6102]

Hotmail and proud

[@zafarsyed6437]

SIMON, I'm confused about your math- $15 per hour to $1,500 per week means he would be working 100 HOURS A WEEK, EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR A WHOLE YEAR, to make $78,000 annually. At $15/ hour @ normal 40 hour workweek, means $600/ week; $31,200 annually. Was this employee getting a massive bonus of over $46k? Time to higher that damn proofreader! 😉

[@brendonwood7595]

Commission. Pretty common in sales.

[@zombiechicken7114]

Hire!

[@zafarsyed6437]

@zombiechicken7114 That was meant as a joke... hire/higher... proofreader... Not as funny as it was 2+ yrs ago

[@BeccaLovesSRK]

17:35 is a still from a markiplier video where he's saying to a minecraft cow "I can milk you". That is the most subtle meme usage ever and I love it.

[@lainproliant]

I like the format. It feels like a nice mix of short form informational content and podcast style exposé.

[@appull]

I’ve been waiting for you to have Lucy sponsor you again! I successfully quit smoking using The pomegranate flavor! Thank you for having them as a sponsor they genuinely taste so much better than other ones I’ve tried and I’m really glad to have finally quit

[@MichaelWarman]

Bryn is a semi-common Welsh name (common, that is, among the 30 or so men that live in Wales)...

[@Stettafire]

Bryn is a Welsh name, Simon. It's a real name

[@grilledleeks6514]

boy the expiration date on those memes is written in runes. I love it!

[@RetTheEditor]

That salaried one hit me hard. The whole month of November, December and February I had to work 65+ hrs a week because they actually scheduled us that for holiday rush and because we were salaried we had to show up and not get any extra pay.

[@wolfdiabolique]

These guys use British English and in the UK, salary and wage mean the same thing, pay rate per hour, so being salaried doesnt mean paid a set amount regardless of hours (and the inherent unpaid overtime therein) like it does in the US.

[@RetTheEditor]

@@wolfdiabolique interesting 🤔

[@wolfdiabolique]

@@RetTheEditor it's why he gets so confused about the free work--he literally does not know that salaried in the US means the same pay regardless of how many hours you work...

[@wiltchamberlain9920]

I am a proofreader and I will be Danny’s friend if he wants. Also, I just recently started watching all the different Simon channels. I most watch BB, but have been going through the backlog (the thousands of years of backlog) of the other channels, too. Though I have found that I have to move carefully. If I go right from BB to Biographics, for example, the change in tone can be jarring. I need to stop by a Megaprojects or Today I Found Out video first to get semi-serious Simon before watching serious Simon or back again to The Boy With the Blaze Simon. Also also, Simon cartoon head (like on his merch) is almost indistinguishable from Binging With Babish’s cartoon head.

[@wschnabel1987]

Simon, you need some of those novelty no trespassing signs to hang in the background. Got my dad one that is actually a garden gnome giving a middle finger and holding a no trespassing sign.

[@Digitalhunny]

That gnome sounds like it kicks ass! 😂

[@nataschavisser573]

Our HR actually tried adding demerrits for cynical comments and sarcasm in our performance evaluations. Orwellian over-reach seems the norm.

[@delveling]

Our HR had a full out and out internal war in the department it was really funny from the outside perspective !

[@LSSYLondon]

HR is there to protect the company NOT THE WORKERS! Everyone knows that Simon. Also bravo on the Epiphany of the Police. Priceless...

[@brknglasses2734]

I was living in Toronto during RoFo. He was my favorite mayor!

[@Digitalhunny]

As long as he was only smoking crack on _his_ free time, who cares, right?? Drugs have clearly won that war. If we get rid of the bell end in charge of Canada right now, _we_ can legalize all drugs tax them & get the folks that need it the help they need! Several other 1st world countries have done exactly this & been 99% effective on halting their opioid crisis within 3 years & with 1/4 of the budget that "fighting drugs" costs us all! 🤗🇨🇦

[@brknglasses2734]

I love in Ontario, and being able to buy pot online has DEFINITELY made cobid easier!

[@Digitalhunny]

@@brknglasses2734 - AGREED! Let's share an internet spliffs, shall we? *sparks, puff puff PUFF! Passss. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ain't it silly when folks do that?

[@brknglasses2734]

Lol

[@davidblanck4131]

I have definitely had a "disregard the last email from David Blanck" done on me once. It was glorious. Worth the joke, and I had every level manager or Lead at the time warn me I was in for a "chewing out". In the famous words of Brad Pitt in Inglorious Bastards..... "I've been chewed out before". Still worth it. They begged me to stay when I left a year later.

[@ilajoie3]

Simon figured out what's wrong with the US police system in under 3 minutes

[@badluck5647]

Police Unions

[@ilajoie3]

@@badluck5647 They just help perpetuate the police officers' sense of "I'm a police officer, I am the law, nobody can disrespect me, even if they aren't doing anything wrong"

[@badluck5647]

@@ilajoie3 Unions ensure a lack of accountability for poor performance and misbehavior among workers. This especially problematic for law enforcement who are allowed to use force on civilians.

[@ilajoie3]

@@badluck5647 what you're thinking of is something like internal affairs or inspector general. Unions on the other hand act as advocates for benefits or the welfare of the police

[@badluck5647]

@@ilajoie3 and the benefits the Unions to tend to ask for involve the officers never getting punished for bad behavior.

[@normtn]

a note on the salary workers "volunteering" to come in. i had a job were that was conmon, we always referred to it as "volun-told"

[@HauntedbyApathy]

I almost skipped to the next video during that last ad at the end, but I got distracted, and I'm really glad I did. I'd have missed that last blooper 😂😂

[@mattatrcc]

I am sure it is different everywhere, but here in California employers are not aloud to even discourage employees discussing there pay. Everyone should discuss this with there co-workers, it is the best way to make sure that your employer is paying people fairly. I have refused a job before whos employment contract had a provision that we were not aloud to discuss there pay rate with there co-workers, then reported the to the labor board for trying to include illegal provisions in there contracts. I have done the same for an anti-compete clause, also illegal in California, or at least unenforceable.

[@p1rmcbacon463]

Glad to hear that you were able to capture Danny and Sam after they got loose and you had to use those other 2 ppl for the video yesterday. Hope you used thicker chains and locks this time

[@kevinrussell2718]

Bryn - a very common first name in Wales (see the BBC sitcom "Gavin & Stacey" - partially set in Barry- which features a character named Uncle Bryn, played by Rob Brydon).

[@melody3741]

Also people Bond a hell of a lot better over something stupid and annoying than something actually fun, at least in some circumstances, and as that thing is really not that annoying to do like an obstacle course or something that's not horrible, that's honestly a pretty good way to get your team to interact with each other and become closer. Even if none of them actually want to do it

[@blackm4niac]

A clip from "Flavor of Love"? Oh Sam, you are a man of culture. That show is a treasure!

[@SpiralCee]

We need a shirt that says, "What is going on???" LOL 😆

[@badluck5647]

HR department: "Simon, we need a diversity initiative. None of your channels have people of color or women as the hosts." Simon: "...."

[@nicholaslewis8594]

Does Jen in the basement count?

[@dudepool7530]

Now we're going to get videos of Simon in drag and blackface. Brilliant!

[@stephjovi]

@@dudepool7530 I'm fine with the drag but better not blackface or #cancelSimon will become reality 😂

[@badluck5647]

@@stephjovi It didn't hurt Justin Trudeau's career.

[@stephjovi]

@@badluck5647 bc he's not a KZbinr and bc it wasn't that recent?

[@marvthebass]

Want to know what HR is like in the private prison industry? I was going through the training academy and our lead instructor was a retired Florida Highway Patrolman. He was also white (epic foreshadowing). No one except the two teacher's pets sat in the front row of the classroom. At the end of class one day our illustrious instructor (the guy was an outright buffoon) said something that I still remember vividly nearly 7 years later. He talked about wanting more of us to sit up front, then looked at my two African American classmates and said, and I quote: "You black guys can sit up front too, Rosa Parks said so". This was followed by WTF faces and a few nervous chuckles. He then reiterated his statement. After that the two guys made a complaint to HR, which resulted in absolutely nothing. 5 months later the instructor got a much better paying job back in Florida and the head of HR was fired for doing like 3 or 4 illegal things, depending on who you talked to. The worst part is, I hear most government run prison systems are even worse here in the US

[@1IGG]

It's nearly as its a bad idea to privatize prisons and do everything for profits

[@marilynmcdonald1655]

I worked at an urban outfitters warehouse in the states and it was THE WORST JOB EVER. ITS DISGUSTING THE THINGS THEY PASS THRU TO GET RE-SOLD!!!!! I left after 2 days!!!

[@whatbuttondoipush]

LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE SIMON! I can't watch your other channels without thinking "well this is dull"

[@nellom.8771]

Not even a minute in and the Beard has got jokes. RAID THE BASEMENT FREE DANNY AND SAM RIP ETA

[@LizRealGirlBeauty]

#neverfreedannyandsam

[@MinistryOfMagic_DoM]

#NeverFreeDannyAndSam #RecaptureBrian

[@nellom.8771]

@@LizRealGirlBeauty I have no words. But I see your message is spreading...interesting

[@phforNZ]

RAID SHADOW LEGENDS THE BASEMENT

[@stephjovi]

@@MinistryOfMagic_DoM agreed never ever free them! For Brian he showed up yesterday and he's on the Facebook group. So he's not hiding well 🤣

[@lolumo]

Simon saying nobody likes a weird outlier is irony personified

[@brandonhinrichs387]

I bet Danny has been surviving on Lucy samples in that basement for months

[@christinak1053]

And Magic Spoon!

[@SievertSchreiber]

Poor Danny, only having Lucy to look at the sky filled with diamonds. On the other hand, Lucy is better to escape imprisonment in a basement than Simon’s preference, cocaine

[@brandonhinrichs387]

@@SievertSchreiber I disagree. When you don't sleep you have lots of time to plot your escape. Somebody get Danny some cocaine

[@C_Godsell]

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got: at the end of the day, HR departments exist to protect the company, not the employees. They might help you, but generally only insofar as it also helps the business. (Allegedly)

[@RadioactiveSherbet]

24:35 I never noticed the background music until it suddenly stopped there. I was like "wtf? Oh..."