The Worst Thing to Say at a Party - Pete Holmes

Pete Holmes laughs at his mom’s pronunciation of “Celine Dion” and shares a cringeworthy joke you can tell at parties. (Contains strong language.)
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[@CanItAlready]

Salon Dijon sounds like a great drag name for a Celine impersonator.

[@ohmyblindman]

not like a great drag name, oh, IT IS!

[@insidiousfastidious6224]

You’re funnier than this comedian is

[@matthewlennhardt8408]

Gross

[@Etabobable]

Nice one, Jaun you won 1 Jaun.

[@CanItAlready]

@Notorious 885 Clearly you don't speak for everyone.

[@FLUMPAAY]

I love Pete so much! He just looks like he has the best time up there and the way he cracks himself up is so pure. I wish he was more well known.

[@pedrobarnez5502]

We know.....we know

[@jamesdube7627]

That is how you recognize a great comedian, all the great ones do

[@jamesdube7627]

@@pedrobarnez5502 so sorry to hear about Norm McDonald last week, cancer if you didn't know

[@mollyrose2896]

yo, the way you misused "was" had me thinking that he was dead. Had to look it up lol!

[@TAD-LOW]

" i wish he was more well known" sounds like one of his bits. 😂😂😂

[@tonyg490]

He looks exactly like a youth pastor lmao!

[@soonexpired]

Wait wtf you’re right! Lmaoo

[@samrusoff]

He almost became one

[@odettewright2392]

Your a really dum ase

[@emiliavenka]

He went to school for theology, he was seriously about to become a pastor, that's the real funny part!

[@VibeXplorer]

​@@emiliavenka I went to the same college he went to at the same time he did. (Gordon College). He graduated a year before me, I believe. I saw him perform in the school's improv group. So weird to see him as a celebrity comedian on Comedy Central now.

[@Achilles5236]

"if that doesn't open the place where you keep your joy, maybe lube up the dial a little bit" is actually poetry

[@lawanbrown16]

Nope

[@DreadedLad88]

I love self awareness... That's why I love comedians... People take themselves too seriously.

[@emiliavenka]

He's a borderline comedian's comedian, but he does it super well. I don't understand why he doesn't appeal to more people! It's so relatable and honest.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

Comedians tend to take themselves *very* seriously. That's why they do what they do

[@spitgorge2021]

@@idontwantahandlethough and they shouldnt

[@indyj29]

That Juan joke killed me 🤣 the joke itself wasn’t funny, it was him not being able to stop laughing is what got me 😂

[@ScrewlooseMS]

“We WoN oNe JuAn”

[@r4yrayx0x0]

@@ScrewlooseMS “wE fInNaLlY oNe wOn jUaN!”

[@idontwantahandlethough]

It's one of those jokes that's so unfunny it loops back around to being funny again. It's a peak-performance dad joke

[@devanshgupta7530]

Montoya vibes

[@montanaelkwhisperer1744]

Until you realize that he wrote the joke three years ago...and he has told it forty-two times...so any laughter is faked.

[@johnokeeffe3096]

Pete's a model for enjoying yourself on stage. The goal should be to be your own favourite comic and I think he's there!

[@Trainy2]

I think there's room for comics with many different styles. There's a lot of ways to be funny, but the key is to have your own style.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

It works for pete. Hes got a very contagious laugh and smile, I'm not a smiley person at all but I just cant help myself when I watch this dudes stand up

[@jonnifjader]

@johnokeffe ??

[@glyph68]

Wayne Knightly?

[@christianmaas8934]

Anyone who hates this guy hasnt embraced their inner dad jokes

[@alecsanderfuentes3913]

Christian Maas this dude was ass

[@christianmaas8934]

Okay "Alecsander" with your 1800s russian farmer name

[@christianmaas8934]

@@alecsanderfuentes3913 Aww did you get insecure and change your name to a dead meme? Awww

[@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux]

this is from well before pete had his baby, but he's always had strong fun-dad energy.

[@jmsolano0516]

@@alecsanderfuentes3913 he wasn't very good lol

[@GoodFormFilms]

Just saw him this past weekend. He was hilarious. We actually had a heckler and he handled it so well it was the best part of the show.

[@whillgaming24]

I love how he laughs at his own jokes but he's trying so hard to keep it together

[@pearlmarley]

Whomever is reading this remember to spread as much LOVE AS POSSIBLE, don't litter, help out the homeless and take care of nature please it's really important we gotta take care of eachother and mother earth. thank you and have a blessed life ❤

[@princessaur]

The Salon Dijon joke never gets old no matter how many times he tells it lmfao.

[@brockgannon9033]

“You’re...not bad” -John Mulaney

[@coryhalewilliams]

Crashing fannnnmn

[@evangelionl0vr857]

Just finished the show and that’s what brought me here, such a goddam good show.

[@schmawesome4345]

Leonardo dePizzaPlace! I am DECEASED 🤣🤣

[@shelbytomy07]

"big boat iceberg" lmfao

[@googleedood9721]

Leonardo D'Pizzaplace 😂

[@johnkinsey2478]

This guy gives me an ‘aww shucks’ vibe.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

Hahahaha holy crap that's EXACTLY it

[@ohsoloco5113]

If John Ritter and Zach Braff had a child...

[@joshuagoslee]

nailed it

[@prestonbane4176]

so good. I can finally stop watching his videos bc I understand now.

[@ohsoloco5113]

Funny that John Ritter actually played Zach's father on Scrubs...

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

YES!

[@rexasaurus3853]

Thank you Pete for reminding me of how I don't want to be in my 30's. Keeping up spirit's....

[@machninety7334]

“Leonardo De Pizza Place” 🤣 🤣 🤣

[@TheHarrisontemple]

Who wants to rap about the Lord?

[@zackv3957]

Pete Holmes is so underrated.

[@cescabhi]

Reminds me of a French dude called "jussie smouliett"

[@chanteandrews849]

🤣🤣🤣😂

[@PathosConsultingGroup]

pete is so pure. wish he had a netflix or hbo special

[@tommylee6262]

He has 2 HBO specials

[@specialeeffexx]

Check out his show ‘Crashing’ on HBO! I loved it!

[@PathosConsultingGroup]

Flowering Ananda oh yeah i loved that show. i mean a stand up special

[@alfiekinnies]

He finally has a Netflix special, “I Am Not For Everyone” - you should go check it out.

[@victoriasimmons2078]

Lol! My mum called Elon Musk, Alan Husk once. I've never called him anything else since! 😂

[@cronussaturn8558]

😂😂😂

[@jamesdube7627]

The Mc Donald's joke sealed the deal for any doubters out there

[@gamesturbator]

Big Boat Iceberg" absolutely floored me!

[@sammyv9167]

I got like 3 laugh orgasms, lost it at the youth pastor 😂😂 "who wants to rap about the lord" 😂😂 Juan, we won one Juan 😂😂😂 this stand up sure was McDonald's

[@jonnifjader]

@sammvY Thanks for the recapitulation....

[@NishantrP]

Glad to see Pete's still out here doin his thing

[@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux]

this is years old, dunno why its uploaded 3 days ago. good stuff either way.

[@NishantrP]

@@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux oh for real? That sucks

[@emilydavis162]

Once my friend and I were listening to music and as we were getting out of their car they exclaimed “oh, is this Bjork” and they pronounced every letter with full confidence

[@alex.r.891]

Did they say it “Bee-jork” “Buh-jork” or straight up “bjork”?

[@chemxcore]

Halfway through and I've had to pause like 7 times to laugh my ass off!

[@James-gs9qf]

Reminds me of a friend's mum watching Queen's performance at live aid being repeated. She said he has an amazing voice that Eddie Murphy. Bought me so much joy

[@michylmagdaleno6421]

Little did you guys know this guy is the best Batman ever. He helped Christian Bale find his batman voice🤣

[@aaronmarks9366]

I was looking for this comment. He's my second favorite Batman actor.

[@spencergsmith]

“Donde esta las drogas?”

[@dazednconfuzedsean7]

And Professor X

[@idontwantahandlethough]

Pete is the most Mormon non-Mormon person I have ever seen

[@Mr.PepeSilvia]

Gotta love Pete Holmes

[@peteedberg4217]

Pete Holmes is the Carl Sagan of comedy.

[@humanrightsofthementallyill]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Best.comment.ever.

[@humanrightsofthementallyill]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@johnsmithsonian4712]

“Salon Dijon was said to me with a room with air in it.” 😂

[@Zoro-IX]

As an Asian kid that grew up in the east in 3 different countries, I recall my favorite record artist “Sha neea Tai wan“ 😂 If you can guess who that is, you’re a very cultured gentleman/woman

[@Zoro-IX]

@@jonnifjader Shania Twain 😂

[@jackfein8188]

This guy is funny

[@IAmAlpacaBoi7]

I love comedians who laugh at their own joke, because it honestly makes it better when they know "that was a good one."

[@travistaylor4342]

Why this guy has not blown up yet r atleast have his own show is beyond me dudes funny asf and it's clean comedy which is hard to do

[@Tonyhouse1168]

He had a show. And no one watched it.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

And he literally said “f*ck you sir” in this clip

[@travistaylor4342]

@@Tonyhouse1168 you need to cool ur jets

[@user-oe9le7lp8o]

That is so hilarious. My late mother-in-law used to refer to her favorite opera singer, Placido Domingo as Placebo Flamingo. No one had the heart to correct her, and it was so damn cute anyway.

[@DKGifford19608]

This set is McDonalds (gulp) (gulp)

[@abdicated7800]

For those that like Pete. Check out his Pete Show monologues. Fucking gold mine of comedy

[@fellowdanbarber3323]

No, it's not. It's bland, safe, and fucking corny. Iff this is "gold", wtf am I supposed to call Eddie Murphy's "RAW"? Foh.

[@tcknapp1984]

"Big boat iceberg " I'm fucking done

[@tyler1234321]

I was just at an improv show with my fam and my girlfriend's dad though Ann Frank was Hellen Keller and it literally killed me. I'm a ghost now.

[@matthewlennhardt8408]

Good, stay dead

[@dannydemonic4799]

I like to do that to people and mix them up. Sometimes they don’t catch it. Usually they’ do lol

[@kokocipher685]

oh my goodness, I can't even keep watching. The latino bit got me laughing in tears.

[@TheBigGetEven]

I saw the show he had a couple years ago and he grew on me over the course of the season or so I watched. But he's leveled up. Great stuff.

[@kedabro1957]

4:45 ... This is how I felt when the 2nd Matrix movie opened with a Mountain Dew ad. An Agent was holding a bottle of Mountain Dew and ordering us to drink it.

[@kedabro1957]

People who mispronounce words that badly scare me. Because they do the same thing to people and events. Instead of paying attention to what's really there, they just gloss over the details and dredge up something from their memory that resembles what's there. They'll assume you are just like a person from their past or from a tv show, instead of seeing what you really did or really said.

[@tumultuousforce6204]

yea

[@nik4456]

This is so incredibly accurate it's scary.

[@kedabro1957]

And guess what. This just happened to me again this week. From someone I thought was so smart and so nice I thought I could let my guard down. JFC will I ever meet an actual human being instead of these advanced simians that keep tricking me into caring about them? I don't want to see other people as dangerous cattle, but when they keep behaving like them what choice do I have?

[@nik4456]

@@kedabro1957 I totally believe it. I've had people misremember things to the point where it's not even worth correcting them. People have attributed bad things AND very rarely, but once in a while, good things to me that I've literally never done. It's like, they remember the vague setting of something that happened, but forget all the important details and so fill in the blanks with random guesses from their mind.

[@idontwantahandlethough]

That's straight up nonsense dude. Those are literally different skillsets. I mean somebody might happen to be bad at both but one doesnt imply the other all that much. Anecdotally, I know a lot of really smart people who know a ton of words but mispronounce them because they've only ever seen it in text, never spoken. Although I guess I dont know if smart people tend to have better memories. I assume so.

[@theragingcreeper9040]

I miss the pete Holmes show

[@Rattlehead7211]

That's why we love you bud. Always lubing our dials.

[@benjaminbernard2510]

I've never seen him perform this, just heard it. I imagined a lot more gestures and movements in my head lol

[@carlosdanaalvarez1220]

3:10 Juaaaan!!! 😂😂😂

[@Ksix1]

This guy came down from the peaks of Mount Caucus and blessed us with some super corny and hilarious comedy 🤣

[@floopusdoopus]

3:03 is one of my favorite jokes of all time

[@buckunderbrush]

I hate tacos said no Juan ever.

[@oliviaday5932]

PETE HOLMES IS SO SLEPT ON IM CACKLING

[@thebeddoctor4273]

My wife called her Sling John. So I think I got you beat lol.

[@Silly46337]

Who’s on first? Reference. Wow! Brilliant

[@Brandon-mp5kk]

Man this guy is hilarious, he should be way more known.

[@princessaur]

I've been saying this since 2014 I'm still waiting for it to happen. 😭

[@cloudbloom]

Pete seems like the best friend you'll ever have he's great

[@gasgano8255]

The Juan joke is very familiar as someone who knows who Juan-Pablo Montoya is :)

[@kimiraikkonen3726]

Then he left 😂 “I can’t play golf I’m in a presser!”

[@mondlingubane5963]

We finally 1-1-1.

[@KeithaBird]

I😂😂😂😂😂i...I just fucking lovvvvvve this guy. I about fell off my couch laughing❤Thank you Pete Holmes❤️

[@henhenhen19]

Love Pete, watched every clip of him I've found and he's just such a great comedian and a warm-hearted, thoughtful man. I respect him immensely. But I would've gone with Leonardo Di CapriSun. Laying lard on Capricorns. Leotard n' Cardio. The Nard dancing in cactus oil. Le nard. Leonard. Leonard Kravitz. Lenny... Leonard. Still makes me laugh Pete!!

[@anoushsabouri]

have you seen his show on HBO called Crashing? I think it's really good!

[@lundylow]

It's a real bummer The Pete Holmes Show didn't last. I loved that his monologues weren't "the latest news," it was just miniature stand-up bits and Pete giggling at himself.

[@xw7239]

My friend lent me a copy of his book "Comedy Sex God" , and it was pretty good :) I hadn't watched much of his stand up prior to reading the book.

[@papagrounds]

"We won one, Juan!"

[@josevalentin890]

Anybody who is a casual fan of Pete Holmes, you got to see his HBO series "Crashing" It's 4 seasons of fun and although it's not running anymore it is a great binge-watch. You'll be rooting for the poor bastard.

[@Deucehoru]

I'm lovin' it

[@joshmnky]

Thank you. I'll never remember her real name without a fight in my head ever again.

[@zemasterze11]

Man this video is McDonalds I’m lovin it

[@jasperharmon7279]

3:04 you’re welcome

[@sorrowsorrow6759]

My mother does this constantly 🤣🤘💯🍻

[@illegalsmilez]

I've got three words for you friend . . . Dusty Fucking Slay. He's always having a good time, and he likes to tell people about it lol.

[@yourfriendlukejackson]

A guy noticing his French friend’s new grooming habits in the locker room: Pierre, your berry area is bare. It’s your bare berry area, Pierre!

[@glyph68]

Pete Holmes bump. On the list of our best. (Won one, Juan." = "I edited it!" -> Genius.)

[@seryupp2347]

the latino part is relatable to me im a fan of a mexican club that didnt win for 70 years

[@paullegge6362]

I’m using the McDonalds joke! 😂

[@shaynemangan245]

Just discovered 'Crashing' series. Blown.

[@tracym3561]

He reminds me of John Ritter - that's a good thing.

[@alijeffreys8455]

Now I understand how he's friends with John Mulaney.

[@stevenbell4066]

We won one Juan 😂

[@Stephanlabize]

This is incredible

[@TrollHunterxXx]

Guys incredible

[@SrraBrra]

i have a line similar to the mcdonald’s joke but instead during dramatic moments i say “this is camping” and after the pause i say “in tents.”

[@kasper2212ify]

He’s voice reminds me of Adam driver

[@blissmastaeasy1]

Pete deserves to hear my snorting laughter right now

[@IchiKudo]

There's no way in hell Pete Holmes is the Batman 😅😅😅

[@justindahlstrom6677]

That’s how I keep saying it! And I am a mom!

[@JoeByTheOunce]

John Heder + TJ Miller = Pete Holmes

[@emosam07]

If this is the 1 universe where Pete isnt a Youth Pastor, then we got SUPER lucky to get a 180° complete opposite man of a comedian lolol wowowowowow

[@tevelchavez2098]

"Won one Juan"

[@caesarsalad77]

Salon Dijon would be a fantastic drag name.

[@DannyGruesome]

I want to hear the "its not like oh i cant stop gettin it wet" joke lol

[@RobBluth]

Super funny. Hard to believe he's Batman

[@jamesdube7627]

You do realize that is that is the narrator from Scrubs, the romantic character? All of his stuff is great but my favorite is Nice Try The Devil

[@valiantham6072]

All I see is Badman... I Love it

[@rebelissima8915]

Please, please God...let there actually be a drag queen named Salon Dijon who impersonates Celine Dion. A stage name that magnificent cannot be wasted.

[@alexcianricketts3365]

Cutest thing when you laugh at your own jokes🤗😅😅😅

[@curtiseast6933]

Funny! Funny! He's good at the "mom voice." But hey, not a stretch. He reads bedtime erotica to Mr. Myxlplyx in that tone. *(rimshot!)