The Zarna Garg Family Podcast | Ep. 22: The 'I Do' Deadline

[@megharustagi397]

A+++++ to Veer for max entertainment in min words. The line “if i wanted moral support, i would get a pet” was golden!!! 😂😂😂

[@ashitamalkani3845]

Totally - loved it

[@marymagdalene3004]

"Emotional" support, but not "moral" support. Dog can't give that, so he did not think that one through well enough, IMO>

[@SA-wh3uw]

That cracked me up real good. That line was truly epic.

[@cheersbloom]

Bravo Zoya for not crumbling down in pressure from parents. Felt bad for Zoya! I don’t understand why Zarna and Shalabh pushed zoya so much to get into an IVY league and then now at 21 putting this pressure on her - even if it was just in talks - to get married by 25! Have to say Zarna and Shalabh are still thinking like the Indian parents thought in the 80s. India has moved on now and in cities now majority of Indian parents don’t even bring up marriage topic with their daughters until they are financially independent after completing their education. Women in India are now marrying in their late 20s or early 30s. Women are having kids in India in their 30s and mostly 2nd kid in their later 30s. Having kids in the 30s for women allow women to focus and build their career for a good 15 years after college and reach a comfortable, higher position, higher pay bracket and then have kids which is very much affordable to get all the help you need to keep your career going - daycares, cleaners at American homes, occasional help with cooking etc. Imagine having a kid young - the woman’s career is screwed, the couple is surviving and bringing up the child in little to average money, the woman is not happy making the sacrifice she made after studying so hard and giving up her job to cook, clean and babysit. For the husband too it is better to have a wife you goes out, meets people, realizes the challenges of the outside world and gets a perspective. For the working woman’s husband too he shares the household chores this making him appreciate the effort made by a home maker

[@musicalmasterpalak]

Very true! Please read this zarna aunty!

[@nehapanditajk]

Couldn’t agree more

[@dipikaraheja]

So true!

[@rituv1606]

Agree !!

[@VikramKumar-oy8gq]

Well the assumption here is having kids and raising them is end of your career especially for women, that's not true, you can still have kids young, still have a job and later focus on your career in your 30s, this applies to both men and women. In fact on the contrary , concentrating on your career in 30s and 40s is more important than 20s. So 20s are the best time to have kids especially for women. There are exponential health risks for children born to older parents, that's not worth the risk. The only stumbling block is finding the right partner at right time, I don't think career should be the problem here.

[@tinaviju580]

Love the intelligent way Zoya articulates herself. Hope she finds a partner who respects and admires this amazing quality of hers!

[@Deesav_]

The Garg’s are easily my favorite family on the internet. I love how nobody holds back on their point of view, the sense of humor everyone has is delightful to watch, and I love how intentional/present each Garg is 🥺 My A goes to each of you. Love yall!! ❤

[@prettyprinks]

Zoya you are right. Never let anyone change your mind. Even in India it’s quite common for girls to marry after 25!

[@yn3481]

Now that I am 35 yrs old with 2 kids under 13 months old I do finally see that you CANNOT do it all and no you CANNOT have it all at the same time every day. I agree with Zarna and Brij how important it is to be with your kids to be well raised well adjusted children with stability in their lives

[@annah3359]

The beautiful thing about life is that everything falls into place. Don’t worry about age and all these other things. One day something happens and the answers will come to you. If things don’t work, you change them. You tweak as you age. I love listening to this family. Such grounded kids. Mom and dad, don’t worry. You raised great kids who will make great decisions.

[@rakshanesargi6262]

She's 21! Let her live. Why do so many people think marriage is the end goal in life? This directly speaks about how easily people give in to societal pressure. Just because she's 21, it does not mean she needs to get married. There's so much more to life than kids and marriage and this is a fact that people are scared to say out loud but I believe in this 100%. I am not against marriage but just because you got married early, it does not mean your kids want the same thing. What Zoya said about the fear was absolutely right. Marriage is only a part of your life. Not your whole life. It's time to let go of the unending obsessions with marriage and just do what makes us happy instead. Stop obsessing over your kids lives! Jeez. It is an unhealthy level. Many people will have the argument that you want the best for your kids and stuff that as great as that is, there is a difference between caring and forcing. I don't know how nobody is talking about how openness in conversation does not equate to having an open mind. Everybody gets one life. Do you want 90% of yours controlled? and have all the decisions made for you all the time? What kind of a quality of life is that?

[@BP-310]

Zoya looks like she is being pressured you’re absolutely right let her live her life.

[@ruthnoronha8206]

Zoya you are 100 percent correct. Do not let your parents shake this conviction.

[@yn3481]

The number of my friends who are 35 and having horrific difficulties and issues with getting pregnant right now is absolutely heartbreaking. Do not delay this until 35 or such age.

[@ashitamalkani3845]

I am 54 and born and brought up India. My parents told me marry whom you want once you are financially independent. I agree with all the comments that one doesn’t have to marry in the 20’s. Zoya take your time.

[@nettiespiwack7586]

Addicted to this podcast and not sure why! Every Garg gets an A for this one, because every single point raised was valid.

[@maddiem-sg4vi]

Zoya spoke my mind. A+++ to Zoya AND Veer for extending his support for Zoya in the kindest way possible. 💯

[@steppets25]

Zoya was wayyy above everyone today… You GO Girl 🙌🏼🥰🇮🇳👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼WooHooo 💃🏻🎶🌹

[@HiteshMehta-jh8wv]

Such a challenging topic. Veer stole the show for me by giving the A grade to Zoya. He is 11 but showed such empathy and not to mention that he was absolutely correct in identifying this as a lonely battle for Zoya. Having said that, as an Indian I totally get where the parents are coming from too... but really tough one. All indian families go through this.

[@HiteshMehta-jh8wv]

More power to you Zoya. You will figure this out. Keep the faith and trust your instincts.

[@svatisingh1]

A+ to Zoya (and A+ to Veer for giving his A grade to her too) - I coach women in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s - and I coach them simply to be strong. Be strong if they choose family life or to go it alone. In either situation, you need to be strong. There is no right or wrong answer here. Indian culture glamorises marriage, but in reality, marriage to the wrong person can cause such misery in a person's life.

[@nehagharat5577]

Absolutely! We need kind and strong human beings who can understand their potential and work for the betterment of the society whether they are home makers or working in any company, whether they are married or unmarried and whether they have kids or do not have.

[@AdityaJape]

the right person will turn wrong person post marriage 😂, better get used to be left over

[@theaaravaanyachannel5493]

These ppl , especially Zarna are stuck in some time capsule. ""Keep your mouth shut and have no opinions. Thats hiw the whole of asia is doing it"... please come to any urban Indian city and see how married women are working and taking care of their families at the same time, leading rich and satisfying life. I don't know a single woman who doesn't have opinions.

[@lailasiddiqui263]

zarna is opinionated , but does not want others to have opinions.zarna will stand up and fight for everything, but is afraid of her sons wives doing the same. zarna comes from an extremely wealthy family in bombay - and she is a gujju ! - the gujju factor says it all. Word has it that one can never trust a gujju for armed forces - they will sell the country ! The gujjus are very clever in the most outrageous ways. these episodes just bring out the most outlandish ways. having said all this - *comedy is not everybody's cup of tea. it is an art of presenting the most mundane matter humorously and zarna does it exemplarily*

[@joyaxe2000]

Its vastly different raising a family and having a fulfulling career in India vs USA. The struggle is very real without the support of domestic help, extended family, relatives and friends, both in corporate jobs or if you are an entrepreneur.

[@JoshInDubai]

its the sad truth , there are many indian women who are not allowed to have an opinion...

[@AnshuJha-t8l]

Their view of India is stuck to the date they left.

[@ajantapal8120]

yeah 😂 I think Zarna and husband doesn't go back to India. Urban Indian women are very ambitious and are keeping up with their career. They just talk down upon Indian women of this age

[@envysen]

You guys are just Brilliant!! Don’t compare your family content with Kardashians other than money part you guys are few notch’s above them!! keep it up Gargs!!

[@AnshuJha-t8l]

In every aspect this family seems so progressive, but this girl and boy thing baffles me. Modern India is over kanya-daan. The girl is closer to her family than in-laws all while still respecting and taking care of them. Why should Zoya be cut off because she gets married? Why can't her husband and kids become a part of this? I feel sad for Zoya to be dealing with such mentality all while living in USA. And the family justifies all of this by saying - thats how India / Asia is. No it's not. It's evolved.

[@hellol4045]

Agreed. Parents are still stuck in the old mentality

[@RajiRam-t1f]

Well said. This is one episode that I found this family to be wayyyy out of touch with reality.

[@suhasini1354]

All 3 kids are so well spoken and this podcast is so real and not a set up. My daughter and I have the exact same arguments and the pros and cons for marrying late or young and what the men over 30 are looking for.

[@steppets25]

My A+ Grade goes to the beautiful Zoya🥰🙏🏼. You are intelligent , beautiful, kind, empathetic, true to yourself, generous, loving and the world needs more ladies like you dear Zoya❤ I am an Indian woman living in Bombay, India. 🇮🇳 I chose to return to Bombay after living the “materialistic selfish life” in the West.

[@lisaferrin]

Zoya is a class act! Speaks with so much heart. So brilliant too. Love her!

[@lisaferrin]

Amen! Zoya gets it! Don't settle.

[@elizabethhanson5113]

A to the family again, it is good to have these discussions and hear everybody's ideas on this important topic. My opinion on this for women is to have children in their early 20's before age 26, I was married at 23 and didn't have children, because I thought I should enjoy the relationship first, then have kids, but it didn't work out with my husband, I never had children due to health reasons that I didn't know about, so I would not have had any children no matter what. BTW nobody ever mentioned to me the "Biological Clock" reason for having children. I love your podcasts.

[@EllaeenahJadeFire]

Zoya I KNOW you shall find the man who shall respect you for who you are, and love you in exactly the way that equals love each other. And Zarna, ... the sign of growth is to say i dont know...i dont know what my opinion is in the present....so well done. You are inspiring. Garg family, hats off to you.

[@pajoshi70]

A grade to the whole family! This is a very important topic to discuss with your family all across the world! Thanks for bringing it up!

[@shyneray250]

I don't know a single married man who has never outsourced his sexual needs at any point during his married life. I think you should also do a podcast about "What should be the deal breakers during a romantic relationship?" now that Zoya and Brij are of dating age and might start romantic relationships which may or may not culminate in marriage

[@lindamarocco4583]

Great topic!!!!

[@nadymaechling9958]

Giving my A grade to Zoya for unflinching in her conviction that she would like to continue seeking her position and contribution in society. She will become like her mother, strong, loving, and goal oriented while continuing to be a part of the Garg unit.

[@akshaykhanna1131]

These kids have such a perceptive family base. At every step they are thinking the right actions and giving them good directions. I would kill to have such guidance now and especially when I was in my early 20s.

[@vlu3517]

I stumbled across your podcast today. I found it delightful, funny and entertaining. The way your family communicate with one another is with respect. I appreciate the fact each person can express their opinion with confidence. The parents carry some of the traditions and values they experienced in India, yet they are open to listen to all their kids. The children are definitely very very smart. They speak eloquent english and express their thought's clearly and concisely. I hope you have a prime time show. I think we need shows with parents and families communicating well and kids who are as refreshing as yours.

[@jeyalakshmisambasivam3784]

Kudos to whole family for bringing very timely apt and very useful topics and honestly putting yourself into it and opening others mind! Though the comments are addressed with names, they are all meant for people in that stature only!!!

[@amazingnature2731]

These kids are too young to even think about marriage. Their concentration right now is their education and careers.They should not feel pressurised at all about marriage.Dont think Zoya needs to be on a dating app.She is so beautiful and intelligent, there must be hundreds of men who would love to date her.

[@asht7899]

Exactly.. shocking that they are forcing their 21 year old to get married.

[@San-sue]

They are not forcing them to get married now. Chill

[@asht7899]

@@San-sue did you not watch the podcast. They are forcing her to start looking now itself. At 21 I was doing my masters.

[@cheersbloom]

@@asht7899agreed I didn’t like how it went. They looked like very orthodox parents asking their 21 year to find someone and get married. She is in college now and they should be instead asking her to focus on her studies and get financially independent.

[@joannalittle9655]

I love Veer! "If I wanted moral support, I'd get a dog " Out of the mouth of babes.

[@Deesav_]

😂😂 yessss Veer is the best. Our logical King!

[@kathleenkat6685]

Veer...said only a few words but stole the sow. Sensible.

[@nettiespiwack7586]

@@kathleenkat6685 Veer is a 10,000 year old soul who drops truth and wisdom nuggets all the time.

[@marymagdalene3004]

He's a little too controlled. Not sure how that would work in a marital situation. But, he is young and time will tell.

[@rev.christiebates]

Yes I came on here to say I cannot believe that Veer did not get his A grade for that moment of sheer entertainment😂

[@lydiacarstens9776]

Every one of you get an A+ for this conversation. So much honesty. Veer, your comment was excellent. I do enjoy your podcasts.

[@dylangRodin]

Having lived in India for 5 yrs as a westerner I have such appreciation for your even approaching this very contentious reality that shapes countless India woman's lives.... The most pivotal remark by Zarna...... The literal giving daughters away to the grooms family who shape the young lady into often simply a maid in the home.... I add I encountered many seemingly well balanced marriages..... I spent a big portion of my stay in India in Pondi.... Where along with the marriage is the pressure of producing a son girls are not always valued as much as boys are.... I must add that Certainly in the south...... Dad's in the middle and upper class families were exceptional dads..... are fabulous!!!!! This was an exceptionally honest exchange. Loved it. Zarna your duality on the matter is absolutely understandable and truly a dilemma. Well done you guys💐💐💐

[@tseyang9472]

My A GRADE is to Zoya. I agree that she wants to be independent and confident. And also that she wants to wait to get married. ❤ Brij is just finishing high school… for sure his opinions will change when he enters college.

[@melissafrierson]

I think everyone had valid points, but Zoya stood out the most. It’s a different time we live in and it’s best to marry out of love not obligation. All three of them will know when it’s time for marriage when they still get butterflies after dating someone for just a year 😊 Don’t worry Zarna and Shalabh, they’ll make some lucky women and man very happy one day. They’re wise beyond their years 😉

[@riddhinayak7028]

A grade to zoya for standing firm on her point while also listening to opinions of others and considering it open mindedly also to brij because he bought a good point of women being able to manage her family life with her husband and her family with her parents etc whilst also having a career can be difficult in execution

[@SreelekhaDhanireddy]

Hey Zarna, I’m really inspired by you on what you are doing after being stay at home mom for 16 years. I keep showing your videos to my mom so that she would also get inspired. I really enjoy your podcasts as your kids articulate their thoughts very well. But very disappointed in this episode, as in why are you thinking someone will definitely will not accept Zoya if she is opinionated and ambitious. I’m IITian and married at 28 through arranged marriage set up who is equally ambitious and fun and I’m 32 now. Everyone is educated enough to understand and respects girls as their equals in all of my friend’s marriages also. I have never heard anyone in India telling anyone in my family or friend circle to get married to a girl at 22 or 25 or 27.

[@bhanukaprani3925]

Please let Zoya be … she will figure things beautifully! Loved the episode… love that all your kids speak their mind with such balance and so sensibly!! 👌🏼👌🏼

[@yn3481]

I agree with Brij that women should understand how much they will want to be home with the children they just gave birth to to raise them and to see their smiles and to support them every day. Women vastly underestimate how strong that feeling is once you have kids

[@Anonymity680]

Totally! Don’t know how he got it though. Very smart kid.

[@krishnaleela1]

Zarna ma’am I think you need to revisit India and see the new India in the eyes of younger generations of millennials and Genz .. you will understand how relatable Zoya is …

[@prakriti012]

As a new mom, who is also working and was thinking being a working mom was doing to be easy and the father and mother can just exchange jobs whenever you need help. Raising a child is hard work. There has to be a primary caregiver and in most cultures it’s the mom since it’s easier for the mom and child. You can’t just switch this role as per your need. The point is to focus on the child. I like what some smart successful women have said “you can have it all but not at the same time”. Most men are not doing to bend backwards for the child. Sometimes it’s only the mom who can understand what the child needs and sacrifices everything willingly . You have to focus on the child when they are young and have a career in the next season of your life. Obviously all of this is only possible when you have a partner who values your contribution in raising your child is more important than the money you bring to the family.

[@missionmakers]

Amazing episode thank you! As a very career driven woman, impact and growth takes years to build, and it should take time because true fulfilment comes from the journey of achieving that. I believe if you want both, late 20s / early 30s is the best time to build the next phase of your family life. You also would have had enough wisdom in knowing what you value in a relationship and who you truly are which is so important when raising humans. I wish more men weren't afraid of embracing the quality of the woman you have by your side at that age vs a girl who is so young and doesn't have the chance to develop her passions and what that does to someone.

[@smritipanwar8682]

Why are the parents here in US so limited and lined in their opinion. This is not that much a scene in India today. You get married when you feel its the right time and you have a right partner and you are financially independent. There is no other reason. PERIOD

[@PA_YT]

Because sometimes they live in the India they left behind in their heads

[@risg4me]

are you sure that is the thinking of majority of Indian families? or just you and your surroundings?

[@togo6327]

Im shocked how a 21st century parents can talk like this. Its so sad that they are living in America and still have the mindset of an Indian village. Even Indian parents living in India dont think like this these days. Zoya please do your masters, get a job, buy a house and then get married. Do not change your personality. And try to get married to a US born indian or a white person.

[@copperbeech61]

Uncle is so understanding . Great point on being financially independent as a woman first .

[@pramodhkp]

I don't comment a lot but I'm doing it here to show appreciation. A lot of these discussions are so essential to be had and it just doesnt happen either because not everyonr in the family are as articulative as you guys are. Or due to the fact that these topics are so touchy. Kudos to your family for talking about it so openly. It really helps get a mature perspective from indian pov! Please continue to do it as long as possible. More necessary than ever before.

[@shraddhavipin]

Always such a pleasure listening to your extremely honest views!! Veer is the darling of the family and I notice how Shalabh dotes on his little one.. it's so heart warming to see his affection towards Veer specially, always trying to control his laughter when Veer speaks 😅

[@randebrown4185]

A for zoya ! She’s so bright abd honest without losing her kind heart.

[@sams6429]

A big benefit of marrying young (early 20s) is that both spouses grow up together. They can more easily adapt to each other's needs. The older people gets, the more set they become in their ways. Marrying later (30s to 40s) means less chances of finding a compatible partner, because despite their willingness to compromise, the ability to do so will be diminished.

[@nishadas1935]

A++++++ To Zoya 😍💓 I think most women know it's a struggle and things can get difficult but what zoya mentioned about waiting to find a supportive & understanding partner is very important! Lots of love to the family

[@SA-wh3uw]

This was an easy one to grade. Most definitely A+ to the young and handsome Brij. He is so wise beyond his age and grounded. He seems to have a good grasp on reality and not living in lalala land like some boys his age. He hit the nail on the head by raising the point on the dedication required by young mothers in raising children. Good for you, Brij. I think the fact that he is growing up to be such a fine young man has got to reflect on his parents, especially Shalabh. Good job Shalabh for being a role model for your son.

[@Greenway1234]

I believe that every woman should first build their own financial independence before embarking on a journey of marriage and family. Even if you end up with very financially responsible/ capable and supportive husband, you don’t really know what is going to happen in your lives. You might get divorced, he might get sick or even die. If one of these happens and you are suddenly left a single mother or breadwinner, it wouldn’t be so daunting to navigate life because you have the tools to do it. A+++ to the whole family for discussing a topic that makes is all think about our own decisions.

[@rituv1606]

This comment is specifically for Zoya! I resonate with what she says because I myself have been in the same space about relationship and marriage almost 15 years back. I have been told that being an Indian girl in her twenties with no potential match or a boyfriend is perhaps the worst thing ever!. I met my soulmate at 25 and got married a couple of years later. I also was so fixated in my mind before marriage that I would never compromise on anything. But I found myself organically change wherever needed,as with any relationship people evolve and things change.That said, my core beliefs and personality has not changed,but minor adjustments do happen and it really doesn't matter when you are in it for the long haul. Go with your gut, you will figure it out. More power and love to you ❤

[@tanvikale3545]

Zarna let me break this to you - a lot of people in India now do not have the Kanyadan ceremony. I love you guys BTW.

[@tulipinquest]

I feel for you, Zoya! Please please stand your ground and live your life. I hate that in this day and age, girls have to spend so much energy making a case to just be themselves

[@susalazar63]

Thank you Garg family for debating this issue, I give an A to all of you for the very poignant thoughts but an A+ to Zoya for trying to understand and going to bat for women all over around this sensitive topic. I got married late, and decided to become a stay at home mom giving up my career after I had my kids. Went against the grain now re-entering the work force. It is not easy. Having a good partner is important, there are going to be many ups and downs, and perhaps new dreams can be made, don't forget that too 😊

[@JonasCapacite]

ZOYA ROCKS!!!!!!!’ Zarna, Zoya is the strong minded smart intellectual young woman that she is⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

[@rjsantics7156]

😂Yes aunty Z, "donate the kids" 😂😂😂😂 I agree with The Mother. I'm a working mom. I got married at the age of 38. At 40 I had my first son, who's only 4 now. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm still a wife, a hands-on mom and an entrepreneur. It's not supposed to be easy, but it's definitely worth it. I don't know about other people my age, but as for me, I'm aging backwards. Thank You Lord. But you need to change accordingly, Zoya. In my 20s, I also said I don't want to change for anyone. At 44 now, I know that was one of the dumbest things I could have said. If you don't adapt, your arrogance will get you into trouble. The American way of thinking is not a great example for families. Lots of love from a proud Indian living in China 🇨🇳

[@kb6233]

Well…the landscape in India has CHANGED completely!! No Girl, specifically who is pursuing higher education gets married so early!! I myself got married at the age of 29! Parents allow (& trust) daughters to take their own paths and control their own lives! We are no more considered a “thing” for “donation” anymore..😅 I really feel for Zoya that she has to go through marriage pressure at the age of 21 after being in America studying at Stanford! Guys…she is intelligent and should have a mind of her own..isn’t it?!?! None of us (girls) in India are told to have NO opinions because things have really changed here and around the world for women because parents have become more progressive and don’t think their only duty is to get their daughters married and wash their hands off after all that we have seen girls facing post marriage (killings, torture and what not)! We are in the era - where people are more women centric though I would agree that a lot needs to be changed because we still have women suffering and don’t have a voice. So, we who are “privileged” (given an opportunity to study and allowed to have opinions definitely is a privilege) should not be forced to shut up because if one girl’s life change for better, it can impact countless! Not against marriage and having kids but it definitely should not be a race - we believe that in progressive educated families! Also people - we definitely need to look at the population problem that we got here and its impact!! 😅 Lot of couples have decided voluntarily not to have children now for the same reason!! It is “choice” that people are choosing!! All the best Zoya!! You are a great girl and so is your family - you will be absolutely fine! ❤

[@sangeethavasudevan7356]

I can't believe how this whole discussion was portraying marriage as some kind of a "negative" thing to get in to. And also to talk about success in life is not just determined by money or career. To have a really successful, happy and wholesome life, one should embrace all facets of life and all phases. It is absolutely possible to marry (ofcourse when you meet the right person not the "perfect" person) when the time is right and still have a completely fulfilling career and family life. Yes there will be sacrifices (for both men and women not just women) and hiccups that any couple goes through (better when you do it young as the older you become, the more set in your own ways both men and women become). And YES all this can be achieved for women without losing her "opinions" and should never lose her "opinions". I bet the men respect and love women who have opinions, have individuality and who are confident and driven rather than the old mindset of don't disagree or speak up. Yes marriage is hard no doubt and raising a family is hard no doubt but life is all about embracing through the challenges and i cannot emphasize how much it can elevate the lives of both partners and push them to grow and be more successful together.

[@nehagharat5577]

A girl is not an object to be given away and no one is giving her away. Kanyadaan is performed in order to change the Gotra of the girl. The father or family does not ‘give away’ his girl to the Husband. I really appreciate Zoya and A++++ to her perspective. Be strong, kind and a wonderful human being.

[@iradutta3783]

Zoya , I have been through this dilemma myself and unfortunately took the choice of giving up a good career to sustain my marriage . Though you are v smart and don’t need anyone’s advice , still would like to say to you , that on hindsight I regret giving up my career and would make a totally different choice given a chance again . So give yourself enough time to build a career and around 28/29 start dating seriously . After you have established yourself if you find someone it’s great , if you don’t , I would still advice having a kid , because that is the most special experience in life and the most challenging, so while marriage is not necessarily anymore , having kids is a great joy one shud not miss out on . Marriage is overrated in these times .

[@hilairejoseph3345]

Veer made me laugh when he said he would just get a pet for moral support

[@TheFoodie101]

Love Brij's questions -- very thoughtful and practical. Great open conversation, all!

[@thejillykilly]

Yes, you can have it ALL, but not at the same time!

[@arunamuralidhar9802]

A+ to Zoya for sure! Her I Q and E Q are way above the rest. I sincerely hope you are getting support from your family! Also A grade to Veer for supporting Zoya

[@niveditacandade4842]

Zoya is outstanding! I do want to add that there’s nothing wrong with the “modern” arranged marriage. Most people don’t find their “perfect” guy in their mid 20s but I agree there is a time limit to marrying and procreation so you gotta define and find your match when the time is ripe!

[@yn3481]

I encourage Zoya to listen to super in depth interviews with fertility experts. Transfers and implantation of frozen embryos have very high rates of failure so that is not an insurance to fall back on with so much conviction and certainty

[@suhasini1354]

Love Zoya! She reminds me of my daughter. Zarna and Shalab you guys have done a great job with your kids. Kudos to you!

[@shipica]

What a delight to watch, I absolutely love these episodes, Aunty Zarna. Keep em coming. Love from Austin ❤

[@aairatariq8173]

This video brings up some highly relevant points. I want to share that I'm a girl from India who hasn't had to consider marriage until I entered the workforce. Zoya, as smart and mature as she is, shouldn't have to worry about marriage yet. She must already have a lot on her plate at university. And yeah, my A grade goes to Veer for the entertainment and his ability to have a clear understanding of what he wants at such a young age.

[@travelerforly]

I follow the Garg family podcasts. It's fun to see a family being able to talk to each other about different topics. There are so many good things about this family. I usually don't comment on KZbin videos but I couldn't resist after watching this one. The way Zarna and Shalabh speak in this video is so retrograde at times. Also, I don't like the way Zarna and Shalabh talk about India/Asia in this podcast. It is such a misrepresentation of India/Asia. Most of my friends from school/college/uni got married at or after 30 and became mom at 33+. Many of my friends have chosen to not get married for the heck of it (FYI, my mom in 1983 got married at the age of 26) About women being pushed around and seen as a lesser sex and not being able to pursue education and career is a generic story of the whole world. FYI, USA never had a woman President (and India had one in the 70s, so progressive you say eh!) Also, why are they heckling Zoya about marriage at 21? Indian parents of their socio economic background in India does not do that anymore. And here the Indian origin parents in USA are portraying their own opinion as a collective opinion of India/Asia. Nope! Sorry not taking that.

[@ShouryDasari]

As a 16-and-something year old boy, I completely agree with Zoya. No one else comes between one's dreams and aspirations only for the sake of tying the knot. I don't think marriage is necessary and I certainly think that it cannot be forced on anyone. It is their decision and their decision only. An individual's success comes first and at the end of the day, it is not worth having someone else control any aspect of your life. It's (May) 2024, everyone can do what *they* want to―simple.

[@steppets25]

Zoya you spoke Extremely well today dear girl 👍🏼👍🏼🇮🇳🙏🏼❤️As an Indian woman myself I am very proud of you. And let me tell you a lot of women in India nowadays feel the same way! Whether their own financial or family situations allow them to or not… a large percentage of Indian women living in India feel the Same as you. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🇮🇳❤️🤞🏼😘Peace and Love Girl🌻

[@vinayashastry6156]

Zoya has very valid points. She is very mature and has lot of clarity. The kids are very well brought up.

[@lauramarrero4462]

So interesting to listen to!!!! I enjoyed the honesty and vulnerability, also interesting to learn other cultures and perspectives. In my culture it is assumed that the men are the one’s that are “adopted” into their in-laws families (not the women) when they get married since the women bare children and seek their own mothers support and guidance when raising young children.

[@ferozalabonne799]

Zoya is amazing, she is a mature deep logical thinker. The parents could learn from her instead of leaning onto their outdated traditional upbringing. Zoya is spot on. And I say this as a 71 year old Indian who came to the States at age 29. And if I can be open minded why can't others ?

[@arpitasrivastava9726]

Hey Zarna Ma'am, I take your podcast as my therapy sessios🤣 after my long working hours so thankyou but today i literally got tensed. I think right age to marry is also decided by your parents and feeded in your brain. My mother got married at 26 after feeling settled in her career and when i turned 26 she was like you should start thinking about marriage.🤣 But these days we the girls love to WORK...🥰 Sacrifice is the most practical word of this podcast. 😍 No thoughts on marriage, in 20s you should only think about your career.🤭Love from India.❤

[@Kuntalkapadia]

Go Garg family .. good healthy conversation .. love how all have thought through opinions including Veer

[@andreamarques6467]

I’m surprised Brij has such an old fashioned mentality. Does he expect his wife to stay home taking care of the kids? It is because of this mentality that men tend to climb the ladder much faster than women. Zoya, I really hope you find a good man, who supports you and understands your ambitions. You don’t need to be married by 25 , because as you said, things these days are very different. I feel sorry you feel this pressure on your shoulders at 21! I got married at 35 to an amazing, supportive men who doesn’t want me to stay home taking care of our baby! We both do! Like many around us, in California 😉

[@Aunty254]

A+ to brij..what he said is true for SAHM..loved this conversation it gives me an idea of how to have this discussion with my teen daughter

[@ashitamalkani3845]

Zarna - many girls now don’t allow the kanyadaan bit of the ceremony - I love it

[@TheAlistephen]

Why do studies consistently show that single women are happier than married women, and that single men are LESS happy than married men?!?! A good book about the topic or marriage is "Comitted", by Elizabethe Colbert?. I loved the husband here speaking about the power of which person holds the power due to the income difference in marriage.

[@pamc7307]

A lot of women in this world have not been allowed to think or decide ,they are married 'OFF' by their families with scant regard to their opinions on the subject, sometimes with disastrous consequences . Good to hear Zoya's point of view. Yes Zoya ,your opinion will change if and when you have that bundle of joy in your arms. You will want to be there to see his first smile or his first words.....after all you are your moms daughter!

[@youtubebrowser5888]

Great podcast. My A grade to Brij, Zoya and Veer. Veer is so wise. Brij is growing up to be a great young man. Hugs to Zoya. As an unmarried woman myself, I wish I was married in 20s. What Zarna says is real in terms of men having the power after certain age to choose younger woman. It only matters if you want children down the lane. We are living in different times where it is difficult to balance between career and life. I am not saying nobody is doing it but it is not easy. Having a supportive spouse is must. Main problem is the possibility of finding a man , after the woman steps out of the university/college life is incredibly hard .

[@mee20sree]

Feels like all suggestions and expectations are stacked against Zoya - How is she going to find some guy who is a few years older while she is in college? Grad students shouldn't be her best option - How is she going to be financially independent if she is going to get married in her early 20s? Independent of which path she takes (corporate or her own venture), those are the most important years to at least set herself on a path of financial independence. To be married and be financially independent before 25 is not a practical task And honestly, I don't even think her own parents will like her so much if she just kept her opinions to herself. Like so much for coming on this podcast and encouraging her (as she should be) to have and share her opinions. I don't think parents, especially those who are more liberal than most other Indian parents are, realize how much their own points and opinions are contradictory. I understand we are going through a time of a lot of change when it comes to gender roles, marital life expectations, etc. So obviously there is a lot of contradictory and conflicting feelings as Zarna has tried to share in this episode. But I think we as a society, especially the Indian community, should really recognize this. And I think Zoya really has the right framework when it comes to it that, she shouldn't make any decisions out of pressure of meeting any ideal timeline but at the same time not wait forever even when she is in a happy fulfilling and even a practical relationship. It is important to prioritize dating and meeting people but what takes your highest priority at any moment or phase in life is a decision only you can make in that moment. And I think the whole social setup of how men get to make the call and have the upper hand is changing. As we see more women who are not interested in marrying or having children with a man, I think the conversation is really shifting where I see plenty of eligible men in their early 30s who really want a family but struggle to find someone to settle with.

[@sakshigupta-dz2ih]

A 20 year old me would have agreed a lot with Zoya. A 35 year old me thinks she has no idea about motherhood & just adulting in life.

[@Sunaina_mehta]

As a 20 year old, this is very unsettling when you said that they want an inexperienced girl so that they can shape her thought process and i know its a fact

[@aishwaryam9950]

With all due respect, I think zarna, you have got the whole perception of Indian women wrong. You know an india of the 90s when you left india. Maybe women were different at the time. Today all women are getting a basic degree and striving hard for jobs. There are multiple avenues open for women to work. Women are having opinions and are contributing to their family financially. Mainly because cost of living is high these days so both members of the family have to work. You are very casually putting it out there about Indian women when in reality, there is much more for you to be educated. All in good spirit !

[@evadnefomundam7390]

This daughter is soooo smart!!!

[@annestricker6917]

Love the honesty! Y'all make me smile. Thank you!

[@ShriLakshmiReddy]

Mom and Dad are making matters worse by trying to control the situation. Divorces are on the rise. Zoya…. I have a beautiful 6 yr old….She is in GT/ on the swim team/ is learning Kathak and Tennis….wish I had your strength…..I need you to be strong for my daughter…lil brown girls need newer better role models….old models need to hand over the button and enjoy retirement….. also…. find a man who signs a pre nup…. This can also be your next topic… Pre Nups amongst Indians…😊….. We do not need fake marriages and room mates showing up to Indian events…..

[@steppets25]

Aunty Zarna, you are Extremely one-sided and ONLY FAVOUR BRIJ EVERY SINGLE TIME!! WHY?!?! You cannot even by mistake give your fantastic daughter the A Grade, even once…. Even when she 150% has earned it and is so articulate, intelligent, empathetic, smart and loving. You and your “I give my A grade to my son Brij” - you suck today woman! Get an objective attitude already 😡

[@nandineek2476]

Yeah, and her telling people who have sons that they did well, and calling daughters a challenge is very offensive. Unabashed misogyny. This needs to be called out.

[@honestreviewer4262]

Agree with Zarna and her thought process on frozen meals and Frozen eggs. Either you be truly natural or accept that once in a way the frozen meals are the convenient option.

[@rjsantics7156]

Me too

[@jeyalakshmisambasivam3784]

If you see around India itself, if you see Nadars and Malayalis, they don’t mind women being educated and earning more than their husbands! They will lead a happy life! In IIT itself, there will be many Malayali married women come to do MTech or PhD. The husbands visiting them are not very educated but they are very understanding! So I don’t believe in equal qualification, intelligence and equal salary and all!! It all depends on your compatibility and wiseness to lead a happy life and feeling humble about it!!!

[@Anonymity680]

I think it makes sense to look at actual couples that you aspire to be like and then work backwards. Also the best place to meet a potential partner may not be the apps but a person you already spend time with. Like a classmate/ colleague. Less time needed to get to know them (and actually better to be friends before dating). The problem with finding a partner when ambitious is similar to finding a job in your field after a phd. Hard to find but when you do find it.. it’s great. Because while you are looking for them, they are also looking for you. And you end up not wasting time on candidates that are not viable. At this age since you have luxury of time, the best thing to do is be picky. Be extremely picky. I think Zoya has her head screwed on right. Way to go girl. You can always drop your standards later if need be. And then there is always arranged marriage!

[@ajayojha8956]

One thing that comes across as a shortcoming is with both parents who are Indian the children are completely untutored in any Indian language (not Gujarati, not Hindi). I wonder why they were denied the richness of having more than just one language to play and work with - perhaps the parents were too eager to fit into American society and felt knowledge of Indian languages would be perceived as a hindrance rather than an asset. Loving the discussions, bytheway.

[@faridcurrimbhoy3064]

Very easy to be so immersed in the environment that the native language is ignored. Speaking from personal experience my kids now in their 40’s regret not speaking Urdu they do understand not won’t speak it!

[@marieotte5742]

Every parent needs a nanny, housekeeper, cook, and chauffeur.

[@JodevivComedy]

Amazingly honest! Loved the episode!!

[@aisakaykure]

Take a look at how things work in the Nordic countries guys. The considerations you discussed come up in the absence of a social structure and infrastructure that is available in the Nordic countries to support the citizens in all the phases of life. And I am not referring to monetary support but rather things like good quality day care options, conditions at work etc etc etc

[@loretta6823]

A+ to Zoya for her valid opinion especially about not changing for someone I am twice married/divorced and I say take your time to marry the right person I have lived with a second income and a single income so being financially independent matters👍🏽