If you want to BINGE watch BEST of Jordan Peterson check out this playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PLWedDD8OR0emeNopcTYREdvypZrMrcajM
@jamespower82343 жыл бұрын
Why not watch himself rather than you trying to make money of his words.
@Cain_rr3 жыл бұрын
Ppppl lol
@brunojake0993 жыл бұрын
A M E N! Brother
@jamesharris1843 жыл бұрын
@@jamespower8234 I get it but we r indeed watching him... No....
@jamesharris1843 жыл бұрын
U know there is no behavour to be checked here. U both no where the lines r. We have an affirmative duty to yrself; u owe it to yrself to remove yrself from that situation. Now if u don't, it is. Not that you're deserving of the outcome just that you've delayed it. You cannot fix other people's problems. The key is to find people whom have had long stable relationships, a solid upbringing. I know it sounds harsh.
@shonaford2502 жыл бұрын
The worst thing I found about betrayal is you lose trust in your own judgment.
@Anna-vl4ju Жыл бұрын
That is absolutely true. And it’s devastating
@uwishuknewwishbones Жыл бұрын
Yes! Smh
@hustle3011 Жыл бұрын
And you put those trust issues on the next person where unfortunately I look for signs or little things constantly.
@rajatgoel3094 Жыл бұрын
True!
@necia95 Жыл бұрын
YES
@MrYFM23 жыл бұрын
The worst thing about betrayal is that it's never from the enemy.
@laurabarber66973 жыл бұрын
See how you'd expect you're enemy to do something crummy. Yet when those that you have taken into your inner circle, those that you love and Trust betray you it's very painful! The good news is that now you know the truth. And as they say, the truth will set you free! There was no longer need to maintain the illusion of that relationship, even if it's a family member!
@hodanbille3 жыл бұрын
Exactly, thats what no one wants to face.
@kennethjohnson843 жыл бұрын
Deep af!!!
@flbizowner93843 жыл бұрын
That’s why you try and reason with those people to no end. Making you insane
@rarebreed3453 жыл бұрын
Obviously because they are your enemy 🤦♀️😂
@mirandabrunskill77552 жыл бұрын
Trust your gut. Don't allow someone to erode your boundaries through manipulation and coercion. You'll know when this happens because you'll feel compromised, and possibly dissociated.
@rainncorbin8291 Жыл бұрын
That happened to me and I ended a 33 year marriage to get away from him. I'm happy now living alone.
@slimelove3493 Жыл бұрын
Lived my whole life like that due to my sibling
@wafa0196 Жыл бұрын
Very precise analysis! It really speaks to me!
@LISA-yr4lu Жыл бұрын
And manipulation has been almost every adult I've been around on a daily for last decade... My boundaries is leaving all that behind in order to finish healing You can't heal in places that get attention and prosper from you being sick
@Kitiwake11 ай бұрын
@@rainncorbin8291I doubt it very much
@carolynnorton955211 ай бұрын
When your spouse betrays you, the marriage is gone no matter if you forgive them. You no longer feel close to them because they didn't care if you got hurt; you are now alone. They wanted what they wanted when they wanted it, and they figure you would just have to get over it. That is true betrayal. Betrayal is a death.
@jeffchristie-od5gu9 ай бұрын
The Ex
@kathleendubois71288 ай бұрын
Well said, yes, betrayal is death😢
@lilpoohbear6537 ай бұрын
but it does not have to be just a death...remember seed goes into the ground and grows something new
@carolynnorton95527 ай бұрын
@@lilpoohbear653 It's not the same seed. That seed is dead. So, yes. It's a death.
@olderuglierandwiser7 ай бұрын
They ? There is so much more to what you did within trauma than what that individual did ,or how they reaced,over the course of the whole relationship. , and this means a long term projectory of the possibility of shit happening ,or even you feeling like shit is happening,and ignoring all the so called red flags the do exactly what they say , waves a red flag but blissful ignorance is the same as willfully blind ,your not that close ,your surfing the waves taking everything for granted from another human being , an interaction between two ppl starts a relationship. so it's not a what they just did to you, that's just ridiculous and so childish,believing like every moment is separate and based on nothing whatso ever ,is so immature ...so , what you both said and did in the very very first place is snow balling all the time every day and produces the error ,that's why what happens has already happened before you saw already what was happening, if we don't check in and yes it's exhausting,but look at everything all the time every day..alone and together,so yeh this is exactly what that short explanation was regarding, listen be aware look feel and ask , and be totally completely responsible for every interaction for yourself firstly ,I know this is the thing we are lazy and willfully blind in the pursuit of selfish gratification but that's why we become taken for granted
@tomusannonymous4 жыл бұрын
Never ignore when someones actions indicate a lack of loyalty to you.
@gregorygraham93714 жыл бұрын
Not judgment to rationally assess and rationally discern in one’s self-interest. They aren’t ‘wrong’, just not right for you.
@tomusannonymous4 жыл бұрын
@lemmieatit I think thats fine when dealing with empathetic people, ppl aren't always aware of their affect on others. Its how they react when you bring it up that shows their true colours. If they show a lack of empathy and avoid accountability it shows they dont see your feelings as important as theirs. When it should be equal. If the infringement is minor you may not be willing to end the relationship over it but if its a recurring pattern you've got to make a choice because your being loyal to someone who has no loyalty to you.
@steven50544 жыл бұрын
J.P fanboys can relate. Like when Mother limits your internet usage. That's Postmodern Neo-Marxism right there bucko.
@andrewheffel9284 жыл бұрын
@@steven5054 Or an act of love. Too much of the wrong internet, and you will go blind!
@kieransimpson49654 жыл бұрын
@@tomusannonymous interesting. How they react when you bring it up - you mean when you say to them you feel they are not being loyal? Jealousy I feel is a problem. I have a friend who does lots of good things, but my instinct tells me he is a different person when we are around other people, usually women.
@strawberry10253 жыл бұрын
I have learned in my 60 years on the planet that the saying 'The end is in the beginning' is completely true. A small something that's 'off' or done very early in a relationship bodes to something similar but far, far bigger being done later on. I don't use this instinct to dislike people just to know that a particular person is not for me. Every single time I have ignored a small red flag it led to whoppers that cracked me over the head. Be careful what you get used to........
@MJ-qb5ph2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for your insight
@ivanas42692 жыл бұрын
Exactly right.
@sillygirl11392 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@EB-gt1pq2 жыл бұрын
Taking a screenshot of your awesome comment. Very helpful
@acraze22872 жыл бұрын
just had this exact thing happen to me today, so true
@user-jk5kf3pt6m Жыл бұрын
Betrayal is the most hurtful known act i can think of. It hardens your heart, takes away the things you used to enjoy in life. I was betrayed by the people closest to me, and i felt so much anger for so long. Hardens your heart. Im still learning to live with it.
@laurawalker546 Жыл бұрын
After a 30-year marriage, and a betrayal and a husband who left me, I have been on a long road to Healing. It has been 17 years. I have made a lot of bad decisions because of how my divorce occurred, and it also complicated my healing process. While I think I am about 90% healed, because of the consequences and some bad decisions that I made during the whole grieving process, it has taken longer than I would have hoped. It certainly transforms you. I am 68 now and in all my years that betrayal has been the worst thing to experience
@pupper5580 Жыл бұрын
Please - never forgive someone for betrayal. And take a lesson from this - be more perceptive with people. Think about the people who are in your life and go through your interaction-history: is there signs of betrayal? Has this person betrayed you before in a small way? If you give him 50, does he give you 50 back or nothing (meaning - is the relationship reciprocal)?
@ImadAli1 Жыл бұрын
@@laurawalker546 I’m sorry for what happened to you. I hope you are mostly are peace now. What would you say helped heal your heart?
@laurawalker546 Жыл бұрын
@ImadAli1 looking at everything very, very carefully and realizing my fault and his fault and all the circumstances that caused all of it, a very careful analysis over time. Also griefshare group and divorcecare group helped me a lot. I am not 100 percent healed but I am probably 90 percent or more. Maybe I will never be completely healed but I have accepted this fact too. In other words, I just let myself be now
@mrnice7570 Жыл бұрын
Betrayal hurts because it always comes from those closest too you, else it wouldn't be betrayal because no implied loyalty has been betrayed
@murfrossoneri2005 Жыл бұрын
"It's not what you do in front of me, its what you do behind me."
@jmuzikar13 ай бұрын
💯
@Anthem1273 жыл бұрын
What ive learned in relationships whenever you feel the need to explain to someone what they are doing is wrong its already over. You just dont know it yet.
@youtubingbabs3 жыл бұрын
Yyyyyyyyyyyes.
@Stewartsautoadvxntage3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Never heard this before but it’s spot on
@Pursuit4happiness3 жыл бұрын
Dam that’s deep I felt that but idk if that’s like high expectations
@mikevaldez76843 жыл бұрын
No, stick with them 'till the end. And when you start hating them, it means it's only going to get better
@youtubingbabs3 жыл бұрын
@@mikevaldez7684 haha haha.
@johnchopp32783 жыл бұрын
Best advice my dad gave me. " Keep doing what your doing and you'll keep getting what your getting".
@miner42362 жыл бұрын
Should've given you the "spell correctly when possible" advice
@honeyhearts48442 жыл бұрын
What about envious people tripping you up bc you're competition ? Is it your fault they're intimidated by your work?
@jayjabber9352 жыл бұрын
Is Brian Tracy your daddy 👀
@johnchopp32782 жыл бұрын
@@jayjabber935 baffle me with some more brilliance. Because Chopp n Tracy look real similar. 🤣✌
@nigelblue54272 жыл бұрын
Understand and agreed! Good advice. Pro tip: when you quote someone, especially someone close to you, use proper english man. Your- dictates ownership. You're (YOU ARE) was the proper context. Seriously man, get with the program, this post makes you look ignorant. Gl out there!
@johndeloach2112 жыл бұрын
The best way to tell how someone feels towards you is to tell them something great that happened to you...
@pettytoni19552 жыл бұрын
John Deloach, this couldn't be more true! My ex-husband and later, ex-boyfriend couldn't bring themselves to be happy about my work and school success. Devastating.
@johndeloach2112 жыл бұрын
Hope u told em to kick rocks
@ExquisitelyPamperedNailSpa Жыл бұрын
Ha! 🎉😂 NOW THIS WILL PREACH!!
@johnkaimins9998 Жыл бұрын
AMEN
@jackedkerouac4414 Жыл бұрын
Also lend them some money.
@pokawolf24 Жыл бұрын
"Be careful who you put your faith in. The only people who can betray us, are the ones we trust." - Maria, TLOU
@joecook56894 жыл бұрын
The best revenge when someone steals your girlfriend is let them keep her.
@halcyon60984 жыл бұрын
That literally can't happen. That would be kidnapping. Your gf left you...no one stole her.
@555reaper4 жыл бұрын
It’s not like you have a choice you can’t keep her if you wanted too
@JovahnL4 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😭
@joecook56894 жыл бұрын
@@halcyon6098 it's called a joke. Thanks for reminding me that stealing a person would technically be kidnapping though. My bad, next time I'll preface the sentence with a warning.
@SciaticJones4 жыл бұрын
@@halcyon6098 r/wooooosh
@justinsidervag16434 жыл бұрын
When in doubt, get out. You're not going to change anyone. All you do is teach a liar to hide their lies better.
@n.w.owhoknowstheshadowknow584 жыл бұрын
What do you mean these days there are many that will just straight out call facts BS not really facts and it's all about you for bringing up concerns. I enjoy this shit now call them in public infront of there new victims and so called friends because these are who the lies are needed not yourself once you discover lies it's all to late
@sebastienringuet89524 жыл бұрын
Well said 👌
@minguyen-rl7sn4 жыл бұрын
i notice people who hate liars are the absolute worst liar. They even lie to themselves and belueve their own bullshit. I lie, but i dont lie to myself like you.
@TommyTombstone4 жыл бұрын
Been there.
@0ijm3409fiwrekj4 жыл бұрын
Thats not what he is teaching, he is saying when in doubt bring it up (which usually causes arguments) instead of ignoring it and waiting for things to get so bad you can't ignore it.
@Anna-vl4ju2 жыл бұрын
Never let someone become your everything. Never put them above yourself . People on pedestals are likely to fall off and when they do it’s you that will get flattened.
@persephone8960 Жыл бұрын
This.
@anti-ethniccleansing465 Жыл бұрын
I made that mistake with my first boyfriend/love when I was 16-19. My folks went through a terrible divorce (my relationship with my folks was awful/non-existent), and all my friends went off to college, whilst I was the only one in my friends circle that stayed in town to go to community college. So his family became my family. His home was more of a home to me than mine ever felt. And all of his friends became my friends. His world became my entire world. You can imagine how smothering that must have felt for him, unbeknownst to me (even though it wasn’t done intentionally - it was done out of love and circumstance/desperation). But ultimately, I believe that’s what led him to cheat on me, not tell me about it, but then break up with me with no other reason than he “wanted to see what it’s like to be single” (I only found out he had cheated on me a year after he broke up with me, when one of his friends finally told me because I kept my friendships with all of his friends... As a side note: My ex’s reaction was to get furious with that friend for telling me; it wasn’t to stop to apologize for betraying me and hurting me so deeply). Now you can imagine how soul crushing all of that was for me to experience, and what a massive first lesson in love and romantic relationships it was. It took _MANY YEARS_ to heal my heart, but even after 3 decades, I can tell you that there is part of me that never got over him and never will, despite the hurt he caused me. I was just so in love with him for so long, and it was mutual for quite a while there. I’ve had other boyfriends and loves of course, but it just was never the same. So yeah, when he fell off that pedestal, it was definitely _ME_ that got flattened. Very difficult and painful lesson to learn.
@olgak.1139 Жыл бұрын
We misunderstand what Jesus Christ said. He said "Love the person next to you a s yourself." He didn't say a b o v e yourself.
@2202Winterful Жыл бұрын
Just did this and this happened exactly. I’m pretty devastated. Still breathing though.
@olgak.1139 Жыл бұрын
@@2202Winterful We're lucky that we breathe; which means we have the chance to change our mindset. Other people, don't have that chance. Like the innocent victims of the deadly train collision at central Greece 3 days ago. What made it horrible and deadly was the explosion of propane tanks. Hell on Earth.
@stonkeykong28792 жыл бұрын
I recently broke up with my girl because she wouldn’t let go of her flirty male friend. I don’t invest in liabilities so I just cut her off. Words mean nothing, actions are much more significant. Trust is earned, it’s not a given. Don’t ignore the signs, don’t accumulate the errors. You’ll save yourself a lot of wasted time. It ain’t easy but stand firm in your convictions. Keep your dignity and reserve your love for those who are willing to serve you, not their desires.
@ZFern9390 Жыл бұрын
I'm taking a snapshot of your comment because I'm so very heartbroken beyond belief because my soon to be ex husband refuses to not spend hours and hours on Facebook and ignoring our son and me. Years of marriage and social media means more to him than us. I feel he is probably, eh the chances are hi he is dabbling in emotional infidelity. Your comment is powerful, thank you. He is leaving me because I won't let him treat me this way.
@user.47221 Жыл бұрын
Same, he couldnt turn his back on the sweet talk of women, was constantly going after those and he was gaslighting me calling such as friendly stuff, so the relo turned into a disaster and finished. Its such a shame because we were so good together. He traded happiness with ego satisfaction. Good for him.
@SowaMostovitz8 ай бұрын
After 15 years of unhappy relationship I couldn't agree more. Do not loose your time, health, patience and life for someone who doesn't deserve it. It's better to be alone than live with your enemy under one roof.
@sirrevzalot4 ай бұрын
Keep your love for those who’ll serve you? Do you even hear yourself? That’s not a god complex, that’s a God complex.
@JezeBellaMorte3 ай бұрын
@@sirrevzalotI thought that looked funny, too. But then, I thought, maybe, they meant "love who loves you, who'll serve you as you serve them". That sounds fair.
@ebonyeyes70234 жыл бұрын
When a person shows you who they are; believe them -Maya Angelou I live by this quote. I believe them the first time.
@KristynLorraine4 жыл бұрын
💯
@SelfLoveU4 жыл бұрын
Right
@rose44904 жыл бұрын
Yes, this is one of my favorite quotes!
@brookewetuski50744 жыл бұрын
A True Saint. A heartfelt thank you for sharing.
@heliaalves90624 жыл бұрын
Me too, that's one of my favourite quotes 💖
@j-me63174 жыл бұрын
It's the cognitive dissonance of someone saying they love you, then covertly treating you with disrespect in barely detectable ways. It allows them plausible deniability, and you don't want to say anything for fear of "overreacting", and not allowing them to "be themselves". It's insidious, and I'm glad there are high profile people like Mr. Peterson out there corroborating the experience of those on the receiving end.
@tellitlikeitis86914 жыл бұрын
It's even more painful when the doer is not aware bc then it goes on undetected period. So many lost souls and all are oppressed and oppressors at the same time.
@xeropunt57494 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@andreas1ioannou4 жыл бұрын
This is what happened to me and I kept it all inside until one night I exploded and ended the relationship for good. She told me I was being selfish and narcissistic for wanting to spend more time with her, two or three times a week after almost 5 years, in our 50s. She did exactly as you say, telling me she loved me but, not committing, telling me she wanted a life with me and then saying "if I move in". I left her 3 times, she left me two times, and every time she would come back and tell me things would be different. A year later, I'm still grieving and on anti-depressants. I walked away but I still miss her and I'm too scared to let anyone else near me. I wish I had realised what she was doing to me at the beginning. At least I know now I guess.
@xeropunt57494 жыл бұрын
@@andreas1ioannou How can you miss what you never had? 5 years isn't too much, there are folks who have spent 48 years putting up with abuse, in other JP video comments.. As they say, you don't miss HER, you miss her body/warmth etc. Get off that ssri crap. Look up toxic psychiatry on YT. Remember exercise is the most potent, yet underutilized anti-depressant & anxiolytic. Be decisive, going/taking back exes is like watching the same movie expecting a different plot! You'll acclimate, as we do with other losses. It needs to happen.
@jfilm74664 жыл бұрын
Beware of Anne Catrine! I Love you whilst she was meeting and doing things with other men. She didn't realize that her bragging to friends, swearing them to silence would get back to me. She even tried to get me to beat up a guy who was sex pest to her. I bumped into some of her acquaintances and the told me that she was actually the sex pest trying to destroy his family. She is always moving in for more supply.
@Refr619 Жыл бұрын
NEVER EVER DENY YOUR GUT FEELING. IF YOU FEEL IT ITS MORE THAN LIKELY HAPPENING. Trust me I learned the hard way. I think back & I saw every single sign of betrayal but I didn't want to believe it.
@kathleendubois71288 ай бұрын
Same. But it's very difficult to recognize something when it's outside your frame of reference. If it's not something you would do it's hard to imagine the person you love and trust doing it
@facelessandnameless3 ай бұрын
100%
@dacgoddess9543 ай бұрын
Me too ☯️♾️💙💚
@joshuawest59677 күн бұрын
Same man. In this realization right now
@dealcs710 ай бұрын
I’ve always told my five daughters that the two most difficult emotions to live with are ‘regret’ and especially ‘betrayal’
@SergiuCosminViorel3 ай бұрын
you failed to teach them to love the regrets and the betrayals, or at least find them entertaining
@69CamaroSS20 күн бұрын
If you live with regret, you’re living in the past. If you live with anxiety, you’re living in the future. Appreciate today, for it’s the only state/time that you ACTUALLY ARE ALIVE!
@justinemarieabarro94064 жыл бұрын
When we look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. - Wanda
@andrewvelonis59404 жыл бұрын
Did you just quote a fish?
@justinemarieabarro94064 жыл бұрын
@@andrewvelonis5940 No. Wanda's an owl, actually.
@sage98364 жыл бұрын
Well said!
@Cr8Tron4 жыл бұрын
@@andrewvelonis5940 Wanda is Waldo's ex. The fact that Wanda's an owl (with 20/20 vision) just reinforces our perspective of how difficult it must be to continue seeing Waldo as someone who matters, after he fades into the crowd Wanda had tried indirectly warning him about.
@empressironbladder89424 жыл бұрын
Wow!. This is a great quote.
@Mexicobeanpole3 жыл бұрын
After being in several drama filled relationships, I met the man I’ve been happy with for 41 years. What I learned, is true love isn’t torture. It isn’t painful. It isn’t a dramatic play. If you find a person is consistently making you cry, feel “less than” or question your own sanity then get the hell out!! Immediately. Life is too short.
@insha75563 жыл бұрын
Bless you 🙏
@traumabond38863 жыл бұрын
You have described my spouse. ! Do you know him by chance ? 🤷♀️🤦🏻♂️
@somanymovies2 жыл бұрын
thank you Beach Town Girl. really needed to read and see this comment. I'm glad even after the drama filled relationships you were able to find a true partner. gives me hope. blessings to you!
@johnwoodley20342 жыл бұрын
Several drama filled relationships, maybe you are the problem, and not all the other individuals. Just an idea I had
@spudthebulldog78682 жыл бұрын
And it doesn’t require any micro adjustments, I think this video is made by someone who has been hurt and is trying to understand and fix the past, it was just the wrong person man there’s nothing you could have done
@Xenophanes198 Жыл бұрын
I noticed the warning signs. I didn't ignore them. I addressed them. The problem is that they kept arising and my gut told me i should leave and i didnt listen. Nearly two years later, find out she was having an affair for at least 6 months. It sucks. Im 35 and im starting over. But ill never not listen to that inner voice again.
@erikpoephoofd3 ай бұрын
I wish you all the best. ❤ How are you doing now?
@giulianag.309510 ай бұрын
I was in a kind of relationship with this person for 8months and we work together. One day I saw him making jokes and being too much with some interns girls and got a little angry and told him i was uncomfortable.Well it was a micro fight but he turned that into a deal breaker. I'm still suffering trying to figure out what happened, but guess what? After 3 weeks he was with this girl I was jealous about. If your gut feeling is telling you that something is wrong... it probably is.
@traceytansley16592 ай бұрын
He turned it into a deal breaker as this was a good excuse for him to get out of the relationship. I suspect he lost a very good person. The grass still seems greener to him, on the other side. Real mature caring loving relationships recognize this to be untrue. He still has a lot of growing up to do, you are already there. Put your positive energy into someone that is on the same emotional page as you. He truly isn't worth it and he certainly isn't worth you renting him any free headspace. Sending you positive energy, healing and love.
@alexwahl99403 жыл бұрын
“Conflict delayed is conflict multiplied” JP
@david3atista3 жыл бұрын
yup, that's how I failed my relationship
@Bigbloody1873 жыл бұрын
David Batista we all learn from it brother, it happens for a reason, now you know for the next relationship what not to do, dats all, she wasn’t for you anyways, nobody’s perfect
@mayowankenobi3 жыл бұрын
Never let the sun go down on your anger.
@customfittedinc3 жыл бұрын
True
@brochahotato46223 жыл бұрын
This is very true. Found out the hard way
@philiptynan91594 жыл бұрын
If you're partner starts to disrespect you, especially in public with their words and actions, then the relationship is already over, don't waste your time trying to save it.
@spindriftbeach60823 жыл бұрын
Absolutely. A partner that feels ok about humiliating you and denigrating you in front of others is not your lover, they are your abuser and abusers are only loyal to themselves.
@eastlynburkholder35593 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@brigittetitte44153 жыл бұрын
Same applies to 'close friends' in my experience. They will take advantage of you but never do the slightest significant thing in return or ever. Things still seem ok and you still can have nice moments if you shrug it off but the bomb is ticking. Either you cut ties with toxic people or be the victim and feel exhausted, depleted. What ive realised is that those kind of ppl criticize everything you do in order to appear superior and will always try to dominate others. Its either psychological or physical. If one doesnt work then theyll try the other. Many people are blind to this tell as it just seems to be an assertive personality trait, but no healthy mind does that 24/7. Another thing is that if you try to point out any negative things about them, wether its being in the wrong or simply that theyve been too harsh, offensive or anything really, you will never get an sorry. They will either again be brutally open about their immoral view and cant comprehend where youre comming from or come up with any excuse, twisting and bending the world around it just to be seen in the right light. This tell again can be seen as an flaw in their personality and be overlooked because you think noones perfect and he or she will get it over time. But again, no healthy mind tries to be in the right 24/7. It is human in the sense of a healthy mind to acknowledge a mistake or bad behaviour at some points in our lives at least. Whats also important on this behalf is trying to interpret where the misbehaviour came from. Often times this already can tell if the opposite has any sense of morality at all. Also, if during the relationship you reduce the amount of time and effort you spent into it or cut ties at all, they will react offensive and try to make it look like the problems on you. If you dont break at this point and be sorry, you will see them turning the rest of your friends against you. Again making it look like youre the black sheep, which will definitely work, its common to search for comfort in knowing someones the bad guy, and im with the good guy. Pointing this out to your social circle is a bad move as it will only fuel this process since youre not the first in this case to get the shoulder to lean on, instead you spread negativity which will not be looked at objectively. Even though you might think youre close to this person you should also try to remember if you ever had a 'deep talk' or try to remember moments in which you thought this might result in one but nothing really ever happened. Conversations are always super artificial and always just scratch the surface. You could know a lot of information about each other which gives you the false sense of friendship when in reality you know nothing about that person. Their love life is also a good tell. Many partners but NEVER anything in the long term. Also, hooking up with partners that are taken. Sure, it takes 2 to cheat but would you do it without a second thought, or at least ask if theyre about to break up? What also comes to mind is their taste. Musically speaking, when they listen to a song a lot which has vocals, theyre always ego pushing/uplifting. Im the best, you cant hurt me, i will dominate/hurt you. Its as if it fits what only matters to them. They will also try to surround themselves with people which portray their mindset. In my experience thats what i call toxic behaviour or people. As im not a psychologist or anything in that regard, i dont know where to draw the line between if thats a high functioning narcissist or a psychopath. Maybe someone can tell us more about that. I hope i helped some out. Be wary of those signs, its onto everyone own's to either acknowledge or ignore the red flags. Just remember, ignorance is also a choice, even if you do it subconciously. Edit: subconciously*
@lmoh89153 жыл бұрын
@@brigittetitte4415 Very good, I can 100% with everything I've read because I have observed this multiple times in past and current relationships.
@PistolPete19803 жыл бұрын
Nope. Not always true. There can be some deep seeded issues that if resolved can heal the relationship. Sometimes the best relationships are the ones that go through hard times and find resolution. It’s extremely difficult but some people are worth saving a relationship for.
@margaretmeyncke35922 жыл бұрын
No flirting with other people! No teasing. Teasing always has a grain of truth that hurts. Keep the love alive by thinking of creative ways to show love. Even when they aren't there. Go the speed limit. Buy the extra chocolate. Bring a flower or potted plant. Say positive things in front of other people. Make the effort.
@denisek292 Жыл бұрын
I pray I first learn how to love myself. Second, I pray God will send me the man that will love me and say positive things to me, and not tear me down. My first husband was verbally abusive, and my second (a narcissist I’m currently in a divorce with) abused me physically, emotionally and mentally. Betrayal, for a girl, starts with an absent father.
@ateachableheart2649 Жыл бұрын
I've made the effort in this last year to restore my marriage. My husband I have strongly suspected of cheating on me, yet still there is something between us, in the way. Unspoken, unresolved, unexplained but there none the less. I've gone to great lengths to bring us back, actually have gone beyond, and what hurts is he wants to know HOW to be nice, to be romantic, to be what he was in our marriage before it all went wrong. Here's the thing....I remember how to love my husband because I never forgot. So what does that say about him if he needs to be told how to love me when he used to know??? We had 20 years of amazing love and rock solid. Then 9 years ago he changed tow ar dme.
@jenster297 ай бұрын
@@ateachableheart2649 I had to check indidn't write this! How is it going now?
@ateachableheart26497 ай бұрын
@@jenster29 Better, finally I feel. Still cautious but we turned a corner.
@SergiuCosminViorel3 ай бұрын
or make her buy you a chocolate
@allswellthatends Жыл бұрын
My biggest enemies have always been my family members. Getting gaslit, devalued, lied to, used and abused, yet still craving that type of love from those types of people. What I can confirm is, if your feelings towards your toxic family is dead, then you can, consider yourself fully healed. The garbage that has been sent by the universe into my life, is for me to learn how to protect myself from the garbage the universe will continue sending into my life. Sad honestly
@rainncorbin8291 Жыл бұрын
It was a gift when the entire family disowned me. That was 35 years ago. Idk where they are or what they're doing and I don't care. I was disowned for calling my grandfather a child molester, which he was. He did that to me. Good riddance.
@cynthiagonzalez658 Жыл бұрын
@@rainncorbin8291 Omg. Praying for you.
@kiaheat192011 ай бұрын
💯💯💯💯❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
@kristiparry183311 ай бұрын
I’m so sorry that happened to you. Praying God eases your pain. 😞
@dampergoldenrod415611 ай бұрын
@@rainncorbin8291thirty-five years ago it was 1988 in a way you were fortunate that was 35 years you did not waste on them.
@thereminator87764 жыл бұрын
“No matter what anyone says or what excuses they offer; what someone does in the end is what they intended to do all along.”-Cus D’Amato
@jayemsley39884 жыл бұрын
@@rdb223 Cus D'amato was a well known boxing trainer who died in the late 80's. Famously known for training Mike Tyson and Floyd Patterson. He was a firm disciplinarian and a very strong minded person with some fantastic quotes. Even if you're not a fan of boxing, his lessons generally transfer over to the real world.
@kennethflores934 жыл бұрын
Jay Emsley he also had the gift of vision, he saw Tyson and kept drilling in his head he was a champion although Mike didn’t see it at the time it came to fruition. It pays to have vision.
@wasimoooo4 жыл бұрын
So Peterson was planning all along to go on world tour as the savior of the lost children of modernity?
@libertyprime694 жыл бұрын
I hate to put this in the context of the Mike Tyson ear-biting incident..
@-LocoBolon4 жыл бұрын
Rich Smith don't just look at the tip of the iceberg. Listen to the man talk now and then, open your mind and try to understand him. Mike Tyson is hands down the most terrifying and yet genuine wise and insightful boxer that ever existed. Someone who lived so much in such a short a period of time and who took the "face your own demons" to a whole new level. Know the man behind the beast, I guarantee you will be left speechless
@taylorbrown29964 жыл бұрын
This man is slowly helping me piece by piece to rebuild myself after a toxic relationship. I can't thank him enough.
@FaithCeil3 жыл бұрын
I wish you a healthy recovery!
@markdemell37173 жыл бұрын
Good to see some people growing a spine.
@kakacech3 жыл бұрын
Most of what this dude says is shit that we don't understand, but we listen anyways. Maybe we're dumbass, Heck, maybe I'm dumbass!
@Active0Bserver3 жыл бұрын
Congrats on getting out of it! I hope your healing is going well, best of wishes.
@MrVampiGames3 жыл бұрын
Man this comment is so relatable :))
@JeffPalasek-cw2hv Жыл бұрын
This doesn't only apply to romantic betrayal with your significant other. It also applies to good friends who you THOUGHT would have your best interests somewhere in their priorities, and whom you THOUGHT had a sense of loyalty given all you've done for them. You never really know somebody until you see how they behave under MANY different circumstances. Apparently, it doesn't really matter how long you've known somebody, or how solid you thought your friendship was. PAY ATTENTION to the tiny little "slips" when somebody's actions disappoint your expectations. Yeah, obviously you'll forgive them for something small, because nobody is perfect. But watch out. Sooner or later, some constellation of events will catalyze and magnify this little "personality quirk", and you don't wanna be caught off guard when that happens.
@kevandnellymurray4242 Жыл бұрын
I here you in this one I have a situation with a friend when I was getting disappointed in the small little things and now it’s just one big betrayal in my eyes so I’m doing the best thing I know how .. no contact.
@JeffPalasek-cw2hv Жыл бұрын
@@kevandnellymurray4242 Yeah, that's how I ultimately responded to such situations, as well. I ceased contact entirely, I accepted the fact that my opinion of that person was too generous, and I moved on with my life. Never looked back. Twelve years later, I still have no regrets about doing that. ...which might sound kinda' sad or messed up, but hey -- it is what it is.
@naomarik11 ай бұрын
I just went through this same reflection after a friend of nearly a decade completely took advantage of me for his own personal gain. Definitely blame myself for allowing it to happen, but doesn't diminish his actions. I forgave him and moved on, finally deleted his number yesterday. He didn't even express any concern when I told him forgave him, as if he had no guilt. I have no energy to waste on being angry. It's not just me who he harmed, a few other people came to me and told me what happened. In this particular case, the guy was a great friend, but an extremely dishonest business person and CEO who flat out refused to pay people who worked for him including me. There were DEFINITELY a ton of minor slips that I overlooked and acted like I had no issue with that I probably should not have.
@ng-marc Жыл бұрын
Betrayal is a wonderful gift of self awareness. Better to know the truth than sleep with a hidden enemy nightly. The only challenge is to learn to receive painful gifts with gratitude and love from which they are given.
@MisterFugginRomero3 ай бұрын
Well put.
@SergiuCosminViorel3 ай бұрын
switch from "buy you a chocolate" to "buy me a chocolate"
@NoahVadee4 жыл бұрын
Tried it, got labeled a paranoid, and when time proofed me right, they blamed me, that my mistrust drove her to it. Coincidentally with the guy I suspected.
@highcloud5303 жыл бұрын
Dude I know it feels that way for you but the fact of the matter is if you were 100% wrong then you going through a spell of being paranoid or any of the above would not have pushed her away by any means definitely not specifically to that person all you did was give her an easy way out and excuse
@teddysalad89993 жыл бұрын
imagine that....
@TeaJayRabbit3 жыл бұрын
Your partner was a narcissist. Look into it. Things will make so much more sense to you about the relationship as a whole. A key trait is that they flip everything on you under the delusion that they are never to blame despite the guilt they bear on the inside. They appear remorseless and play the victim so they never lose the blame game. That said a take away for you is to study how you approached any distrust or accusations... Were you perhaps too angry? Did you feel that your were disrespected enough to warrant your reaction? Could it have been a conversation and not an Argument? Did it make you moody or distant? Cause these behaviors while not the sole reason, can help build a list of "justifications" or excuses for your partner to mistreat or leave you. It takes 2 to make a thing go wrong. So always learn and better yourself no matter who the victim ends up being. I hope you've come out of the downer phase and are on the way up to bigger things!
@rogrambo3 жыл бұрын
Was it a so-called friend by any chance?
@hfyaer3 жыл бұрын
There's no trying in that matter. There's only doing. No "friend" or job deserves your constant anxiety. Either she burns the bridge or you do. I'm a proud paranoid that refuses to live in fear.
@michaellamont26054 жыл бұрын
Wish I had learned this before marriage. Being raised by a narcissist you learn to accept abuse as normal.
@Xxhermitxxrs4 жыл бұрын
Damn i feel you. Stay strong and stand your ground king.
@KrinchiD4 жыл бұрын
So true. I have a hard time identifying abuse, because I grew up being abused. If someone says really mean things to me, it doesn't even register as wrong because I am so desensitized to it.
@karamlevi4 жыл бұрын
Same here guys. Every distinction of self kindness has been a battle for me. JBP says any change needs 3-5 reasons to do it so when attacked/questioned you can over come their knee jerk defections. In our case self respect is a stick in the mud to many so we need reasons to respect ourselves such as 3-5 of them. Here’s one skill I’ve used to manipulate my way to self love n respect. Remember manipulate means to mold, not to fight or war... when your being toyed with you need the manipulation tool as it’s a softer form of victory... here it goes: Help me to help you! That’s it. That’s my skill for conflict. Think 🤔 on it fellow abuse survivors... if you live with me and don’t pay rent we both get evicted... I need you to pay rent so I can help you stay in good shelter. Oh you don’t care you say... well I know in the long term your respect your self more if I evict you because I know you like me and don’t want me to think of you in negative lights... by evicting you for not paying roommate rent I am securing for you more pleasant face and positive memories... Btw here are the police 👮🏻♀️ 👮 they’ll help you walk now. Let’s get together soon. Take care- See?-) help me to help you... Or if your girl is flirting too much and saying your the problem for noticing... help her find a new guy then date her friends while you talk about how happy she looked flirting with others... and how you want her happy 😃. It’s fascinating what happens to your own “I don’t deserve crap” guilt /suffering rut when you take on this frame of helping others feel better in the long run by shafting them now. Cry now, smile later... I care for your long term peace of mind. Quick here’s my foot in your ass... it’s all part of my love 😍 for your multitude of forever happinesses I know you’ll have once you leave me behind. 💥 🦶 go get-’em tiger 🐯! I know I made some laugh here, I made some cringe... but for abuse survivors trying to advocate for themselves... your self guilt n shame is often off the charts... Take a help me to help you frame and all of a sudden you’ll stand up for yourself like never before. Just believe in the long term help angle. I’ve used this as a bouncer with drunks n assholes too. It works. Many look at you like your a mom or dad shutting down a party... when the party was very wrong but you care for the well-being of peoples grades or some shit... or your worried about their “sleep”... Just frames you as a fuddy duddy but not a bad asshole your worried to come off as and that’s the problem because we fear being anything like our abusers. Take the positive long term help frame and run with it to shape your boundries to you winning or to us winning... either is generally good. I can self asses well. I self police well. I’m not a dick. I’ve been a dick n cleaned up my act. Ect. I still watch myself... but our problem is being too accommodating by default. Help frame stops this over accommodation.
@amandasligar92694 жыл бұрын
I understand completely. It's led to a life of misery and success seems to never come.
@shibaanimegameedits29614 жыл бұрын
Not exactly you learn to distrust everything around that person
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@DG-EditsYT11 ай бұрын
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@harrisonhanson2998 Жыл бұрын
I always found SOME comfort in the saying “it’s not that I lost a friend, it was the realization that I never had one”. When my ex fiancé committed suicide a month after we broke up, the person who id thought was my closest friend of 20 plus years ghosted me bc (& as I later found out) it was bc “I was too much for her to handle” so this person I’d been “friends” w for over 2 decades abandoned me in literally my darkest hour, so it wasn’t so much about losing my ex bc that was happening regardless, & it wasn’t so much about the overwhelming guilt I felt once he did what he did, it was about losing my oldest closest “friend” after he did what he did. I was there for her ALWAYS & she couldn’t be there for me at my worst. & if a person can’t handle you at your worst they don’t deserve you at ur best.
@teslawhite Жыл бұрын
Weirdly I cut off 2 people I'd been very close to for 20+ years and they both call it the darkest time in their life as well (I think because unlike other dark times in their lives, now they didn’t have a 24/7 punching bag available so the bottom dropped out more), they also claim they have absolutely no idea how I could have done such a horrible thing to them and have concluded publicly that I was just never a good person to begin with (how were we close for 20+ years? I was just really committed to the long con and was waiting for the right moment to inflict maximum damage?). I told them both in writing exactly why I was ending the relationship, but they maintain they have "no idea" because it would force them to say out loud the horrible things they did and accepting that isn't an option for them, so they make comments exactly like this all the time on twitter/facebook/irl and people that have seen the actual written explanation (because I certainly have no problem explaining it all) send me screenshots of them claiming these these same things. One will even claim sometimes it is because I'm stuck up because she's divorced (false). Point being, if you know someone for 20 years and they cut you off or ghost you, and you'd describe the relationship as close before that, you probably need to look harder at yourself. 20 years is a hell of a big emotional investment in someone and most people will never end a friendship that long because they're losing something near irreplaceable, unless the person is toxic and incredibly damaging and they have a good therapist. Do people really honestly think they're fooling anyone with I had a best friend for 20 years and they noped out of my life completely forever because they were just bad people?
@vikker8274 Жыл бұрын
I went through hell as a caregiver and my oldest friend of three decades ghosted me . I haven’t seen her in six years. I literally bought diapers for her kids when her husband cheated on her and abandoned her. Helped her move three times. Took her kids on vacations . She called this year and apologized for not being a good friend. I kindly accepted, sent a generic Xmas card and went back to living my life.
@darkseaofempathy Жыл бұрын
@@teslawhite I get where you're coming from, but some people really are bad people, and you just don't realize it until later. In these instances of 20 year friendships going down the drain, it's possible the original commenter did something that caused the end of the friendship and won't own up to it, but it's also possible that the ex-friend was fine with being friends until it came time to actually do the hard work of being a friend. Many people can hang out with you for years doing the easy stuff: watching movies, going out, shopping, but actually being there for someone during an incredibly dark time like the one she described is honestly where a lot of people drop out. I've seen it happen. It's sort of like saying that if someone in 20 year marriage kills their spouse, the other person must have done something to earn that because why would someone put in work to pull off a long con like that? But people do it all the time. I think there's truth to both your and her side.
@Rhawn246 Жыл бұрын
@@teslawhiteWell said.
@iolantham Жыл бұрын
I'm really, really sorry for you. I wish I could give you a hug. Don't trust people! Trust in God! He'll send other better people in your life.
@MsKK9094 жыл бұрын
Mama always said, “Listen to what they do and not to what they say.”
@b.v.brian44794 жыл бұрын
best coment ever
@trudilm38643 жыл бұрын
Handsome is as handsome does.
@MsKK9093 жыл бұрын
@Warrior Son Only to fools
@toxicpie10003 жыл бұрын
your mother is wise
@squeaky19633 жыл бұрын
mama says they're just wrestling but what I'm hearing is those aren't grunts of pain exactly...
@lopezmt4 жыл бұрын
An old Jewish proverb, "If your friend becomes your enemy, you have an enemy for life".
@ernestsparr34894 жыл бұрын
Another old Jewish saying is, "with money in your pocket you are wise, you are handsome and you can sing well too"
@ZowVaagNL4 жыл бұрын
I have never heard of these proverbs before. Do you happen to know more any chance. Question directed both @lopezmt and Ernest Soarr?
@chrispafrieddreamaster40854 жыл бұрын
Nikola, try "Proverbs" --The Bible, alot in there..
@ernestsparr34894 жыл бұрын
@@ZowVaagNL there are so many but one that I always liked is; "A living dog is better than a dead lion" Basically, where there is breath there is still hope.
@Misimbalance4 жыл бұрын
lopezmt thats so powerfull
@bethfaulkner64772 жыл бұрын
If they start challenging you from the beginning of the relationship they are testing your tolerance levels. Then they know how far they can push you.
@sparrowhawk38942 жыл бұрын
Don't ever discard dreams about infidelity or betrayal because it's almost always your subconscious trying to send you a message. Sometimes little things in your daily life you may consciously see but not pickup on or you may feel a slight discomfort but your mind or subconscious can put together during sleep. Sometimes things that are plainly seen before our eyes and we want to deny the reality that something is amiss and happening before our eyes. Denial is a real phenomenon.
@elinaselene Жыл бұрын
It's called Cognitve Dissonance.
@sezstamorae9004 Жыл бұрын
My ex had dreams of me cheating on him all the time and he would get angry with me and it would cause a lot of problems. Let me tell u, I never cheated nor did I flirt and when I love I love hard and only see that person. It was a big insecurity of his to be cheated on, and that’s why he’d have those dreams. It didn’t come from reality, there’s no 100% rule for dreams
@Ksgr867 Жыл бұрын
I used to have dreams of my ex bf cheating on me . Come to find out my current ex was actually cheating . I always thought it was my insecurity
@ghostsheet777 Жыл бұрын
Like 2 weeks before my ex admitted he cheated on me I had a dream where my 2 best friends warned me he was a bad guy and to not go near him again and they kept trying to protect me from him but I didn't listen
@b0nkeror452 Жыл бұрын
Dreams are dreams, sometimes there’s more to it so times there’s not dont ruin your relationship bc of a dream smh
@RichieThe13th3 жыл бұрын
Speak up for yourself. Even when it feels uncomfortable. Especially when it feels uncomfortable.
@JWPhotosanddesigns2 жыл бұрын
I agree.
@4DIVID72 жыл бұрын
More than likely just walk away…
@mishrilal123 Жыл бұрын
word
@TheMightyBlackPearl Жыл бұрын
*I needed to see this.* I am taking your advice. Thank you! I always felt as though that's when I should keep my mouth shut. I had to realize that was "false wiring".
@BobSmith-kd4oc Жыл бұрын
That's all good and well but in reality when I was a child being sexually molested at a very very early age throughout my adult life there was no way I had to capability to speak up my feelings. I had to survive and escape that situation and I have never looked back since
@2kalubafak4044 жыл бұрын
Beware of family members. The ones closest cause the most damage.
@2kalubafak4044 жыл бұрын
@@ElMundoDeSam95 Me too. Ignored the red flags for years.
@annettemarrero-oliveras30904 жыл бұрын
Unfortunately this is so true
@Brandy33194 жыл бұрын
Preech..
@annettemarrero-oliveras30904 жыл бұрын
@Campari Soda Wow... sorry you had to go through that but I see what you're saying because my family turn on me for money.
@mobutter28794 жыл бұрын
Amen! They seem to be the ones you need to watch the most!
@periworrell90692 жыл бұрын
Confronting the early betrayals isn’t necessarily a simple solution. When the partner is living a narcissistic “false self”, they will respond to your challenges at early levels of betrayal with apologies and state the determination to do better-and then continue to accelerate the betrayal process.
@sharisimonehampton5434 Жыл бұрын
Yes I completely agree. They give you false comfort. Thanks.
@shirleyvanderheijden59344 ай бұрын
Empty words!
@zss.1589 Жыл бұрын
Sad thing is that betrayal comes from the person we love the most 💔
@LaoSoftware Жыл бұрын
Don't you worry. You and I will forget the betrayal from this person. But Karma never forgets. Months and years down the line, Karma will come for them. It will come when they least expect it.
@tobe-you-tube66124 ай бұрын
Considering the fact that betrayal comes from people who don't give a shit about you. If betrayal comes from the person you love the most, you should seriously check your insight and even sight abilities.
@UrbanOutlawsSk8Co3 жыл бұрын
Due to my childhood I became hyper vigilant with getting dishonest people out of my life. I lost nearly everyone, family and friends. But then I slowly started to replace those people with honest ones and after a while I only regretted waiting so long to do what needed to be done.
@powerfullgoddess57972 жыл бұрын
What exactly did you do to achieve that life? How did you replace those people
@peacewalker76752 жыл бұрын
Same here x
@aloalo37272 жыл бұрын
How did you get new honest people in your life?
@DaintyAngelAccessory2 жыл бұрын
So relatable!!
@Brascobadboy2 жыл бұрын
No one is honest. Lol. Just new. Give them time to fuck you over
@michaelojo68393 жыл бұрын
One of the symptoms of delusion is when you allow a person who has repeatedly betrayed you to remain in your life because you think they'll somehow change and make it up to you.
@katsuito10833 жыл бұрын
It’s not obvious if you’re in the delusion
@afrobhee1892 жыл бұрын
@@katsuito1083 65
@chellybabyme2 жыл бұрын
Or waiting for that perfect time to get paid off like a sick Gambler at a casino all night.
@saintejeannedarc94602 жыл бұрын
Yep, it's that cliche about doing the same thing over and over, and somehow expecting a different result.
@she_sings_delightful_things2 жыл бұрын
Did this for 10 years. Worse pain I've ever been in. That relationship made me hate myself.
@pwroflife11 ай бұрын
I was betrayed by someone I loved very much. I wasn't perfect and made my mistakes. But never would i betray like i had happen to me.
@vodkavuitton2 ай бұрын
Nobody is perfect & everyone makes mistakes. Has nothing to do with someone betraying you & in your face being a snake. Anybody who doesn't like you & have to disrespect you are toxic leeches because if they feel that way then they should just leave you tf alone
@Lorisa252 жыл бұрын
My advice is when you don't like something at the start of a relationship. Casually inform them. If they care, they'll stop. If you do like something, inform them. So they do it again.
@jimfoster79863 жыл бұрын
I got involved with somebody who constantly manipulated and lied, usually in small, but significant, ways. I wrote it off as insecurity until the day this person betrayed me in a way that changed my life forever. Never ignore the warning signs.
@periperi9663 жыл бұрын
Oh, you know my ex to :)
@NimaLema3 жыл бұрын
Can you please go into more detail about this? Id very much appreciate it
@lizquinn35683 жыл бұрын
So true, I went out with a guy I used to meet up with on and of for over 30 years, the last time I meet him he was going down with booze, I knew I shouldn't have went there again but I felt sorry for him, before I got out he done something bad to me now I'm in the middle of a court case against him, its daunting but il get through it at least something good has come from this, I done a self wearness course best thing I've ever done 😌
@judeaberdeen68483 жыл бұрын
My ex of 7 years did this. Cheated on me for 2 months. Too many signs were there and I don't notice them until its too late. Hope I wont make the same mistake twice
@babysab80133 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear. I am sure you are doing great
@koloblicin4 жыл бұрын
a wizards tenths rule: ignoring truth is betraying yourself.
@TheMickeymental4 жыл бұрын
Could you please explain and give an example of your supposition? Thank you.
@koloblicin4 жыл бұрын
@@TheMickeymental basically what he explained in the video, ignoring signs of betrayal is ignoring the truth, its just a broader way of saying what jordan said and also true for all situations in life, not only in the case of betrayal in a relationship.
@chrispafrieddreamaster40854 жыл бұрын
If you're if ignoring the truth, ur only lying to yourself
@sarahwebster89274 жыл бұрын
Brad Davies You really need that self explanatory proverb breaking down and explaining!? Jesus!
@sarahwebster89274 жыл бұрын
kolo Lmao! That’s the only way it would make sense. Lol.
@BoredShitless7610 ай бұрын
It's not betrayal that hurts , it's when you turn around and see who was putting the knife in your back 💔😢
@erisunflower8 ай бұрын
Bingo.
@user-ul9gg9bv6p8 ай бұрын
Isn't that the truth
@lilpoohbear6537 ай бұрын
yep true...BUT NOW YOU KNOW...move on, but learn from it
@BoredShitless767 ай бұрын
@@lilpoohbear653 it's never a mistake if you learn from it. EVERYTHING in life is either a lesson or a blessing 🙏🫶. It is what it is 🤷🏻♂️
@deeplyrooted35887 ай бұрын
Betrayal is when someone says they will never break your heart, but they do anyways and then they stomp on it too. When someone cuts you-bleed forgiveness.
@patriciathemaras3274 Жыл бұрын
I wish I had professors like him when I was at my university. 😊
@Stardust4753 жыл бұрын
Childhood trauma leads you to become a master of dissociation. This becomes a serious maladaptive trait that often prevents you from dealing with things in toxic adult relationships.
@brigittetitte44153 жыл бұрын
I find myself being able to wake up and notice these things and act accordingly. But it doesnt come natural, it only works if i think actively in the moment about whats happening right now. Only time will tell if i will stand up to myself most of the time, often enough to say that i do.
@periperi9663 жыл бұрын
Agreed
@Kazberhaf3 жыл бұрын
Thank you, this is very comforting to me as I was stupid enough (damaged enough) to put up with a lot of shit over a considerable period of time before realising the end of a toxic friendship. My self-esteem was chipped away at until I barely recognise myself when I was in her company.
@Kazberhaf3 жыл бұрын
@@annemaster5254 Thank you very much for this Anne, I’ve just had a look at a couple of his presentations on KZbin and I think he’s really good, so I shall watch some more.
@ingrid_inthesky3 жыл бұрын
I feel like it ultimately made me a target to the one who claims to love me so much. My mental health due to trauma and things we argued about 5 years ago has been used as ammo, but supposedly no one new will deal with all of my shit like he does because he loves me, he said, yet I have not seen him since January. This man was my bestfriend for years.
@Arletty172 жыл бұрын
The reason we ignore the signs is because we don’t want to come across insecure or called toxic because now calling someone on their bs is called toxic 🙄
@moubhattacharyay68912 жыл бұрын
"Being Called TOXIC Is Far Better Than Getting Fooled By A COMPLETE EVIL PERSON"..! Atleast U Know Ur Worth As Well As U Know Yourself Better Than The World Know U From Outside! So, Don't Fall Into The Trap Of Others' Manipulation/ "WHT PEOPLE'LL SAY ABT U" IS LITERALLY NON OF THEIR BUSINESS TO INTERFERE SOMEONE'S PERSONAL LIFE... SO, DON'T PAY TO MUCH ATTENTION TO THESE TYPE OF TYPICAL NONSENSE JUDGEMENTAL THINGS OF SOCIETY CONTINUING DECADES & DECADES..! 🙂
@MrsJudyR2 жыл бұрын
So right. And all *that* is called gaslighting.
@marcellusrobinson14652 жыл бұрын
@@MrsJudyR I agree 100%. Recently walked away from a relationship because of this.... gaslighting
@LilSamuels2 жыл бұрын
Gaslighting is more infuriating than anything!!! It'll make me snap in a heartbeat!
@beccareynolds46252 жыл бұрын
Yes I agree, there is a culture of 0 accountability because people don’t want to and can’t have adult conversations.
@jazzycat3124 ай бұрын
I own myself. I dont let anyone get into my head that deep. No one is my 'everything'. My happiness doesnt depend on the whims of another.
@Leggy_Lines884 ай бұрын
....🤔i can emphasize in a way. With me though its more like, - I know my worth...and - I don't know/have anyone close enough to me,and whoever if anyone i DO interact with to preferably talk on a deeper level. -..Also..same, No one is my 'Everything' but would have kind of been nice to have had a choice lol(if that makes sense) 'Someone meaning Something' 'Anyone in your life meaning Anything'.... 🫤Sorry about the essay.
@jazzycat3124 ай бұрын
@@Leggy_Lines88 I agree. Choices are nice.
@ella-qo1eq29 күн бұрын
agreed. this is the best way to live cuz u truly only ever have yourself in life
@dustyk103 Жыл бұрын
The fight I should have had with my second wife was when I went to meet her at the gym. I went up to her, put my arm around her and kissed her hello. She responded by telling me I have no right to come in a “lay claim” to her. This was the first sign that I saw that we were doomed.
@sussannekeith5676 Жыл бұрын
How sad… most people would love that.
@praywithme-godanswerspraye3423 Жыл бұрын
Horrible I’m so sorry she gave you that response.
@Ston2474 жыл бұрын
1. Give someone an inch, they'll take a mile. 2. Trust your gut. 3. A picture is worth a thousand words.
@paloman954 жыл бұрын
Or a thousand dollars, if it's a nude and you blackmail
@karec.54934 жыл бұрын
Due to economic crisis a picture is now worth 200 words
@buffhotchkiss74004 жыл бұрын
Never ever be taken in by flattery. Too fast too soon you end up wasting valuable time.
@sharonbell88954 жыл бұрын
People over reach so eager for what they want they don't think to seek it ,,nothing is as it seems that's the whole riddle of life
@libertyprime694 жыл бұрын
3 rules for life(for preventing betrayal)
@loshott3 жыл бұрын
My gut feeling has always been right but just difficult to trust. Now I'm learning to trust myself and life is 100% better
@Thailova3 жыл бұрын
Guts feeling are always right, hard to follow them
@skipmatsey77383 жыл бұрын
We don’t want to believe that people are dishonest or selfish or corrupt. Giving them too much credit exposes us to deceit.
@williammorrison62283 жыл бұрын
Gut NEVER lies
@weeyakkawonga62433 жыл бұрын
When u get a gut feelings about something, try to investigate for the fact before making a final decision. Sometimes our gut feelings can fool us easily.
@Coyote-wm5op3 жыл бұрын
Same. I’ve learned to trust this feeling. It’s like trusting in god.
@crispychips2109 Жыл бұрын
I’m going through this at the moment, I completely ignored all the signs because it thought it would never happen to me and my wife could be completely trusted so I never stopped her doing anything or asked any questions of her actions and now I am paying the price. As soon as you suspect these actions you must act on them or things will get worse. Unfortunately it will always happen especially if you have been in relationship for longtime and especially if you are nice, there is always someone round the corner
@melissap2957 Жыл бұрын
I will say, looking back i didnt see any signs, I keep thinking about even subtle ones, but cannot remember any. Maybe my partner was too good at hiding them, or I really was blind!
@SexyEarHole2 жыл бұрын
Betrayal from a partner or close friend has got to be one of the worst things a person can do to another. When you love someone, you will readily put your own well being in jeopardy in order to help or protect that person. Maybe even die for them. The betrayer cashes in on that whilst also deceiving and planning for their own advantage, with no regard for the pain you will be subjected to. When you learn that the person you would do almost anything for has no value for your sacrifices, it's something akin to rape or murder. We don't call it that because it's not a physical wound. But it can be much worse than a physical wound.
@Firguy Жыл бұрын
This must have been how my wife-at-the-time thought of me after my AP's husband told her about our affair. I wish I said instead that she never had to forgive me.
@aronhighgrove4100 Жыл бұрын
Actually, oftentimes it goes hand in hand with physical wounds, due to the stress and emotional manipulation.
@OurEnemyScalion4 жыл бұрын
When someone shows you their true character, believe them the first time!
@Maarten88673 жыл бұрын
People have different moods, everyone makes mistakes, you can't be so extreme as to reject people just because they've made a mistake or shown a flaw, as you'll end up rejecting everyone.
@OurEnemyScalion3 жыл бұрын
@@Maarten8867 Nice point. Good thing most reasonable people don’t do that.
@OurEnemyScalion3 жыл бұрын
@Micah Christina I believe that with hard work, there are few things that people cannot do.
@godzillacarsia9633 жыл бұрын
I have always said this and got labeled "the 2x4 of truth".
@whoblitzell3 жыл бұрын
Yeah should have realized my ex-wife was not good when she started beating me and flirting with other men
@damsel723 жыл бұрын
If your partner is flirting with others…the relationship IS over, or there never was a real relationship. Coupling is simple: don’t put yourselves in compromising situations.
@cellophaneoxygen2 жыл бұрын
it only goes to show that the other person isn’t ready for an actual relationship. some people get into relationships purely because they think it’s the “normal” thing to do and they’re “supposed “ to do it when in reality they haven’t reached the level of maturity required to commit to a serious relationship.
@moubhattacharyay68912 жыл бұрын
@@cellophaneoxygen Yess.. Exactly.. Don't Compromise Ur Purity/Loyalty For A GARBAGE In Ur Life... NEVER EVER..
@fbisurveillancevan74792 жыл бұрын
Yep
@coolwater552 жыл бұрын
Unless one is married and that behaviour is new after years of no flirting. There are mid life crisis, if it gets caught the relationship is worth saving. Tossing out one’s spouse for a flirting episode is not wise. Have a fight about it and give them a chance to smarten up about the crusts or they’ll lose everything. Most times children are involved, so kicking someone out in some instances us. It always the remedy. In newer relationships yes, in relationships that already showed the roller coaster yes, leave. But not giving someone a chance after good discussion isn’t great either.
@jimstenlund6017 Жыл бұрын
Or you need to take a look at yourself and ask what you’ve been doing ( or not doing ) to contribute to the situation.
@Salshealing2 ай бұрын
My ex’s brutal betrayal towards me, showed me more about myself than him.. I allowed his behaviour because I hated myself, I’m slowly becoming stronger and realising now that by forgiving his infidelity time and time again, enabled him to continue to hurt me.. No more… ❤
@vonxojn310 ай бұрын
My father and mother were never in my life. If I had someone in my life that gave me advice like this… I may have not dealt with the things I put up with. I love him… he is so on point
@valshiro5154 ай бұрын
My mother and father who are still alive never gave me such advice. Don't assume that yours would, too. It will help you to heal the parental loss trauma more effectively. You are projecting your deep desires of having the wiser elders in your life onto someone who could potentially be completely incapable of being wise. Perhaps your oifepath involves becoming the wise elder to others ❤.
@giovannaroma95274 жыл бұрын
There is something wrong with your character if opportunity controls your loyalty...just saying
@AB-lc8be3 жыл бұрын
By design, any human will break if they have a big enough opportunity. However character determines how big of a stimulus is needed before one breaks down.
@AB-lc8be3 жыл бұрын
@Tarzan Although I was speaking about loyalty, but where incentive is big enough we all kill and steal too, only the names are different. Like for conquering/defending a piece of land. Everyone thinks a controlling a country’s land is worth more than many people’s lives, hence big enough incentive to kill.
@palomacanedo50993 жыл бұрын
What if I'm loyal to my work team but suddenly I get another job opportunity of my dreams?
@AesculapiusPiranha3 жыл бұрын
💯
@giovannaroma95273 жыл бұрын
@wendy jones Never heard of that saying before, thanks for sharing😊
@kristenmarie92483 жыл бұрын
Betrayal. That's a traumatic word. If you have been betrayed by friend, spouse, or family you know everything that word encompasses.
@raphconcepcion54893 жыл бұрын
Very true.
@stewiepid43853 жыл бұрын
The Biden Administration: Betrayed the American Citizens.
@yimmyyamz88223 жыл бұрын
The worst pain
@canadianwildlifeservice88833 жыл бұрын
Trump betrayed his followers when he said he would make America great again.
@Light-Shift Жыл бұрын
Being betrayed isnt about you. Its about the choices of the betrayer. Your worth isnt held by others or determined by others. Losing control over your own judgement because of how others think and feel about you is the result of a lack of groundness and trust in yourself. You arent supposed to define yourself based on what others think about you. Youre supposed to define yourself based on what you think about you. How grounded are you internally. Or is your focus outward all the time and you put yourself last if at all. This is what is dysfunctional and what needs to be realigned. What others think about you shouldnt matter one way or the other. Do you want to be controlled by others, worship others, depend on others opinion so you can look in the mirror and feel proud, or do you want to trust yourself and your choices, create your life, have autonomy.
@craneinsaneusa12893 ай бұрын
Jesus Christ will never betray us.
@pierrerahal53972 ай бұрын
Amen
@JustAnotherYoutuber6132 ай бұрын
He is the only one you can truly trust.
@torreyintahoeАй бұрын
He's not real.
@pierrerahal5397Ай бұрын
@@torreyintahoe you are not real ❤️
@torreyintahoeАй бұрын
@@pierrerahal5397 Neither are you.
@bear5322 жыл бұрын
As someone who’s been cheated on, the whole slightly flirting, going out more, new clothes, etc,., is right on the money. I used to bring it up with her when it happened and it would always lead to a fight and her gaslighting me and making me look like the obsessive/paranoid boyfriend. Looking back, I don’t even know why I put up with it. If any woman tried that on me now, I wouldn’t want anything to do with her. If you’re going through this just know they will never admit the truth to you so if your gut is telling you something, listen to it. Thankfully, being cheated on didn’t effect me one bit. I know I was a great bf and had much better relationships with much better women afterwards. Just remember, it’s not a reflection of who you are as a person, but who they are. Some people are frankly just pos. Being in a toxic relationship was a good thing for me, I learned so much from it and I’m thankful for that.
@ShooterStar3602 жыл бұрын
Very insightfull
@HopeWins7772 жыл бұрын
You are very wise.
@Portia6202 жыл бұрын
I don’t care what this therapist says there are narcissist I was married to one a cold hearted covert one and he had my parents wrapped around his finger after my brother was found dead in some in front yard and worked for my dad hidden money had multiple fairs they get mad start fights so they’re out for the weekend and they sleep around it’s crazy. I’m sorry you had to go through that and yes mine ended up with close to that were supposedly given to him by his girlfriend which is just a friend of the guy friend he was with that worked for my father to. Funny enough she’s a cop and didn’t see him his game but they are great liars. He ended up with brother in laws little sister. Like wow. She is wait for it…social worker…phd in criminology is her next stop with emphasis on Narracist traits.
@Portia6202 жыл бұрын
It’s been a great learning experience for me but I wished I could’ve went back and spared my children many years of it but the reality is if the children were younger he would’ve manipulated him because that’s why he’s doing the oldest she was the one that found out he was cheating on me through his Apple computer oops guess he shouldn’t have gave her that code to get in on his side of the computer from mine but he was pretty slick he got away with it from us 30 years and um no loss for me I mourn something that never existed that’s the hardest thing about these relationships especially if you stayed in so long like me and tried to make it work he’s with his brother-in-law‘s little sister and she’s close storage but maybe 10 years younger. I can’t wait to send them a wedding gift I just wish part of that gift would him be completely out of my life because they don’t leave I don’t know about yours but they have this thing about coming back and it’s so annoying where they want to be with your family and it’s like you know dude move on you have a life find it.
@Portia6202 жыл бұрын
You’re also right we didn’t lose anything and it’s a joke the only thing we lost especially for me that I’m more than most of the time and the mental health and physical health I lost along with our children
@afigurezero7773 жыл бұрын
There is a thin, thin line between a gut feeling and insecurity. Part of relationships is literal blind trust. I’ve seen firsthand what disloyalty can do to people.. it’s absolutely horrible.
@shawdowclone3 жыл бұрын
When somebody breaks that loyalty with somebody that thin line vanishes and it all becomes a blur to what is being insecure and what is a gut feeling. Because when that trust is broken in the most insidious ways it makes it so hard for that person to trust anybody else again. Even if the next person is entirely different
@morningglory78312 жыл бұрын
Albert Einstein said Don't even trust your self. Humans are not a thing to trust.
@nowandthennn2 жыл бұрын
Always check out why & how their past relationships ended
@grumpy1962R2 жыл бұрын
To the yellow slime gamer, I feel like my first wife caused considerable damage to me by cheating on me and leaving me to the point where it has affected my relationship with wife number two. Wife number two was great for several years but my suspicious nature has dampened her love for me. I hate it but I don’t feel as though I can stop watching for the hammer
@sonnychhuon2694 Жыл бұрын
Betrayal broke me down to the point where I’ve learned to never put anyone on a pedestal. I made a choice at my lowest point in life to rebuild with self love.
@Lavonne_Hernandez2 жыл бұрын
This was spot on for me. Some of us need more of THIS: Pay attention. React efficiently. Grow YOURSELF bit by bit while working within yet pushing up against your bounds.
@vibra1562 Жыл бұрын
Exactly.
@ProactiveNinja Жыл бұрын
In my 25 years this is my first proper heartbreak, I’ve had small flings here and there but nothing like this. Was seeing her since February 2020 and she broke up with me 3 weeks ago because she said she has feeling for another man that she met in napa. Whilst I was getting all upset and heartbroken about that and about how I can still win her back from all the endless youtube videos, I would later find out (last Friday) she cheated on me with who I thought was a good friend of mine back in May and even booked a hotel with this guy planning it. Now I’m just so full of sadness and anger, yet I’m trying to become a better me by training more and being more active. But my mind is still defeating me with these thoughts of her betraying me, I know in time I’ll look back and be thankful that she isn’t in my life now, but it’s also the fact we were almost with each for 3 years and it’s all wasted because she decided to do the ultimate disrespect and cheat on me. I know down the line I’ll find someone so much better, but in this moment, it’s so hard not to keep thinking about everything.
@Noxlla Жыл бұрын
I was with my ex for 9 years before he got some girl from work pregnant. For a month he went back and forth between her and I before he ultimately chose her over me. I think about it all the time still as well, it fogs my mind and makes me lose focus at work. Just knowing that I’m lonely now and he’s in someone else’s arms hurts so much. But all we can do at this moment is be grateful that they didn’t waste any more of our time. Good luck on your healing.
@cmauro6827 Жыл бұрын
EMDR Personalilty Restructuring Therapy. Don't waste your life on rumination.
@myblacklab7 Жыл бұрын
That's totally normal. Time heals all wounds, and in the future you'll look back at her and not even care about the whole thing, or you might even be thankful that you dodged a bullet, and she only took up three years, instead of decades.
@turqoiseillinois9955 Жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry.
@Torrque Жыл бұрын
@@turqoiseillinois9955 Shoot! It was you who did it to him?! You bit@#!!
@sniffableandirresistble4 жыл бұрын
Often times communicating a problem you have with someone else's behavior results in them hiding that behavior from you rather than eliminating the behavior in question.
@sunflowerheather70193 жыл бұрын
THIS^^^^^^^^
@DostoevskyNDrugs3 жыл бұрын
Passive aggressive people don't change
@graftme31683 жыл бұрын
Or they say, "that wasn't my intention." They think if they didn't intend to "harm" you it is okay to continue with their behavior. Which is freakishly selfish!
@michaelduwel80123 жыл бұрын
@@graftme3168 I'd say it's defensive. In that case the feedback/request has likely been perceived as aggression. Imagine assuming they did what they did intentionally, it would make things much worse for me.
@scottthepumpdude89333 жыл бұрын
If your significant other flirts in your presence, it’s very possible that he/she has already emotionally checked out of the relationship.
@matthewbacque16223 жыл бұрын
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness. -Leo Tolstoy
@kcoker91893 жыл бұрын
Pretty don't milk the cows.
@Ace.0.0.0.3 жыл бұрын
This is an example of the halo effect. Or, beauty presumes goodness.
@speteydog22603 жыл бұрын
Men are like that. Lol
@Ace.0.0.0.3 жыл бұрын
@@speteydog2260 Yes, we are. And it often becomes a problem for us.
@matthewbacque16223 жыл бұрын
That's exactly what Tolstoy was driving at; topical illusion.
@FourWinds-Nathan11 ай бұрын
I was betrayed by someone I loved I’ll never understand why she did it. Read all your books Jordan and really helped me grow emotionally your an inspiration - Nathan H
@fakedrugraiderofj.p.s.o39152 жыл бұрын
Betrayal is never spontaneous, it's planned out from the first "anomaly". It's my belief that it's far more recognizable when a betrayal is planned out methodically and damn near invisible when it's only advanced situationally. The best defense? Go with your gut and not your emotions. We notice things subconsciously about people and situations, and this usually comes out as a random thought while doing something mundane. That thought came from somewhere, think about it.
@liqwiidOfficial3 жыл бұрын
Few Tips From Personal Experience 1. Don’t let a Relationship stop you from achieving your Goals 2. Keep in mind that your Relationship could end at any time, So you will be ok with being Single 3. Know your worth and know there is always other People to Date.
@drsquashhead16562 жыл бұрын
He means hate.
@hotandsoursoup26642 жыл бұрын
Hahaha
@chellybabyme2 жыл бұрын
I feel better knowing that there won't be other people to date that nobody is good enough for me and that's where I'm keeping it.
@blacklivessportsworldwide69672 жыл бұрын
Hell yeah
@_Krazy472 жыл бұрын
That’s good! Although, with the third point, there must be care to distinguish the knowledge that there are others to date, and there are others to date in a sense that it would undermine the current relationship…
@mackleswimbaits3 жыл бұрын
Reading these comments is like reading the worlds biggest get-well card
@gabrielfifield96203 жыл бұрын
Agreed 100%
@EmongTimothy3 жыл бұрын
No comment section as wonderful as J P comment section! It's another lecture and library of Congress of its own, so much to crunch and digest!!!!
@CK-ps7sm3 жыл бұрын
🤣🤣🤣 true 🕊🕊🕊🌏
@Kennedy4OurCountry3 жыл бұрын
💖
@Paislywalls47673 жыл бұрын
Nice fish you have there!
@Emoney5592 жыл бұрын
NEVER IGNORE THOSE LITTLE DETAILS.. YOU ARE NOT WRONG FOR NOTICING. DONT LET THE MANIPULATOR TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE OVER REACTING. And the ULTIMATE RULE, IS NEVER DISCRIMINATE IN WHO YOU OBSERVE,and never DISCONTINUE TO OBSERVE BECAUSE THATS YOUR FRIEND OR FAMILY OR LOVER,and your comfortable, ALWAYS BE AWARE
@tanjaloesch6629 Жыл бұрын
He explains it so well, it really helps me to "climb out of the frame" and look at the whole picture from a distance. I understand now that because I'm a timid and harmony -loving (and terrified of fights/violence due to prolonged abuse as a child) person, I was always thinking, " if he needs this or that to be happy...or: he just treated me bad because he had a bad childhood, I just have to love him more, be more understanding..", and taught him quickly to treat me like an item. Now, 6 years on, I'm breaking free, remember who I am, what I love doing and that I'm not an ugly, clumsy piece of garbage that cleans his apartment while he's in bed with his "flavour of the week". I've got quiet BPD and DID. He's a covert narcissist going south towards sociopath (I'm not a psychologist, but I studied a few years of psychology to understand me and my family dynamics). He's just like my mom, they even say the same things, make the same comments, etc. They hate each other, probably because they're too similar. But, it's the saddest thing that they are like holograms of people, artificial and not to reach because there's nothing anyone could reach. I've got to learn that love is something I don't have to earn or pay for with pain. I've got a lot of love inside of me even though I'm exhausted from living 6 years with a vampire. I hope I can heal, this man seems to have some interesting answers and theories. I wish everyone who's affected by being used like this healing, inner peace, happiness and real love.❤❤❤
@valshiro5154 ай бұрын
I wish you strength. What you described is a damaged Moon in your natal chart that requires healing. Astrology would benefit you greatly on your journey to peace. ❤
@2kalubafak4044 жыл бұрын
“Regrets are illuminations come too late.” ― Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces
@mooalijasmine4 жыл бұрын
Paul Cavaciuti I agree. So many regrets are in the moment, like self-betrayals... What were you thinking?
@SaddenedSoul4 жыл бұрын
@@musopaul5407 In essence, hindsight is 20-20--we regret something because we didn't act differently, and we would've acted differently had we realized the situation for what it really was. The regret might be instantaneous, but we would not regret if we had realized sooner what to do to avoid our error. I think "regret" can fit different senses even if "illumination" might suggest a more mature perspective, like letting go of regret and gaining even greater perspective.
@guyshafor13204 жыл бұрын
It's weird that Jordan never mentions Campbell. Seems to be a fair amount of overlap.
@cl7594 жыл бұрын
Thus Piaff, Rien....
@steven50544 жыл бұрын
@@guyshafor1320 I guess that's his Messiah complex flaring up.
@Paarthurnaxdova3 жыл бұрын
When you are single and don’t sleep around, you have zero drama and all the freedom! This feeling is better then sex
@Martin-883 жыл бұрын
I always thought that too. But now I'm 32 years old and I've never had what could be described as an actual girlfriend. It's starting to feel sh*t to be honest.
@Anthony-un4yz3 жыл бұрын
I was just rejected because I don't sleep around, am single, but have been for 13 years now. I'm not fucking weird, I just fucking know better.
@Martin-883 жыл бұрын
@@Anthony-un4yz If someone rejected you because of that then you're better off without them I'd say.
@Anthony-un4yz3 жыл бұрын
@@Martin-88 thanks man, you're right.
@freak1sees7143 жыл бұрын
@Gemma Dann Are you a beaver...?? coz DAM girl.. you are like the female version of me.. 43 in two weeks.. single AF.. and just no interest.. especially when I listen to my married friends and their daily high school dramas.. ugghhh.. 🤮... glad to see I'm not as weird as what I thought I am... or at least not the only weird one..lol.
@adasplaylist2012 Жыл бұрын
Listening to the passion in his voice and the way he is able to comprehensively pass on the message is just inspiring :)
@winggoddess2 жыл бұрын
That happened to me-when got betrayed, i looked back and saw warning signs. But had i confronted him about those small warning signs, he would have just accused me of being jealous and getting upset over nothing. His anger at me would have then given him more reason to want to seek out another woman. Warning signs are important, but i don’t think bringing them up helps. Just prepare for what u will do when u get dumped, or u can do the dumping first.
@Martin.mattsson4 жыл бұрын
"what the hell is going on" is always a good way to start
@betsybarnicle80164 жыл бұрын
Why even bother asking? If you see blatant, clearly defined disloyal and disrespectful behavior, just get out. Once I was being verbally abused, and I just quietly got out of the car in the middle of an intersection, walked through traffic, went to a payphone and called a girlfriend to come pick me up. There's no 'fixing' a bad heart.
@mjcard4 жыл бұрын
Betsy Barnicle You we’re wiser than you know.
@russellcurtis63344 жыл бұрын
Flirting can be just a need to boost your ego and find some kind of validation in the early stages. There is a thrill in realizing someone wants you, and it’s not necessarily because they want to cheat. It’s rare that someone in a committed relationship will *spontaneously* flirt with someone with any real intent to start an affair. But it’s a slippery slope. It does need to be nipped in the bud, because finding validation this way can get you entertaining destructive fantasies. There are obviously cases where someone already has those destructive fantasies in mind when they flirt. You can tell when someone is like this because they will make excuses, call you “jealous”, etc... They aren’t interested in building up the relationship at this point, and they don’t validate themselves through you anymore. Probably because they have started taking you for granted. You need to remind them that you won’t take any BS, and you are ready to walk out the door. Sometimes just doing this, they will be reminded of why they are lucky they caught you in the first place. Sometimes not. It depends on how much they’ve invested in their new fantasy.
@betsybarnicle80164 жыл бұрын
@@russellcurtis6334 Very well said. If you know your date or mate, you might be happy that they have a charming way about them...that they can smile and interact with the opposite sex in an appropriate, playful way. It's a social gift, actually, and it's affirming to ego. Friendliness is attractive. A mate shouldn't be jealous of that ability. But that said, your mate needs to respect you in public. I had a date who felt he had to talk-it-up with any pretty female waitress. Not appropriate. I had another date that even sang a love song to the waitress. (shaking my head) To me, Meghan Markle appears to be a classic narcissist, needing to be the center of any social interaction, wearing a constant, smug, snakeline grin. Sincere people don't wear masks - their affect isn't fake.
@russellcurtis63344 жыл бұрын
Betsy Barnicle Tbh, I haven’t really been following the Meghan Markle story beyond hearing they decided to split from the royal responsibilities. I should look into it. I’ve been married for 12 years with a wonderful and faithful woman, and actually it was me who started flirting with one of my wifes best friends years ago. I never had an affair or did anything “sneaky” (never texted or spoke to her without my wife being present) but at a certain point my wife questioned me about it, and I woke up to what I was doing. In my mind I had been justifying it because I had no plan or thought to have an affair, but I was also being intentionally oblivious to how it was making my wife feel. Not to mention, it could have ruined her friendship with one of her oldest friends. Being 100% honest, I could see that going down that path could have become addictive. I might have started fantasizing about the excitement of an affair if it had continued. Self-awareness and self-criticism are really some of the most important keys to a healthy, happy marriage
@amaharra85692 жыл бұрын
Do not fall and loose mind with emotions. Think everything over, cool your anger down, be calm. Those around will think million things. Give it a time, there's no need to let anger and stress control you. There will be a moment when you are going to feel easy and relaxed. Then and only then think slowly and elaborately what you're going to do with them. You'll come up with some ideas, trust me:)
@moderntipton2 жыл бұрын
The key to executing this is being in a relationship that you enjoy BUT can do without. You then have both the desire to stay together and enough fortitude to object to poor behavior. Humans are drawn towards pleasure and away from pain, making micro adjustments with every experience to maximize well-being. Pleasure always regresses to baseline, therefore pain will always exist, even in comfort and abundance. You have a responsibility to call out a partner who is straying, because he or she will, and it starts small and grows over time. To do so successfully requires compassion and empathy, not judgement and scorn. That’s where people fail and make it worse.
@mem1701movies3 жыл бұрын
I’ve learned that you can’t control someone from cheating. If they flirt it’s already over. No point in trying to “correct” that. They wouldn’t do that to you if they cared.
@imsmarikasharma2 жыл бұрын
absolutely. loyalty is not something u can ask for through negotiations, its inherent to someone who really loves and respects u
@annamaria19292 жыл бұрын
Agreed! They’re still “browsing “ they’re still “ looking “, you will never be enough for this person. Move on. Life is too short to spend time with someone who doesn’t want to spend their time with you!
@denisiaadams71992 жыл бұрын
I agree. If you take them back after they've cheated it means they don't learn the lesson with you and you've shown them they can deceive you and still be forgiven. Once you cheat, it's over for me. They need to heal from whatever it is that causes them to be ok with that behavior.
@petekdemircioglu2 жыл бұрын
True
@emptyendeavor27622 жыл бұрын
Totally right. People are crazy immoral today
@brcarter11114 жыл бұрын
Jealousy is not always a great trait to have, but it evolved for a reason.
@zuffin18644 жыл бұрын
I think admiring people can be valuable, as a point of reference for where you want to be. But jealousy, it can turn hateful, and you will envy the fact of somebody else having what you want. I don't know the psychology, but I'm pretty sure that what many wars are, and it's a massive spiral of destruction.
@haunts34793 жыл бұрын
@@zuffin1864 admiring, respecting, or loving someone means you most likely do not understand them or your judgement is skewed. You can admire a job/success/position but if you don't understand how it is and how it works in real life it will lead to disappointment. Admiring people is never valuable your judgement justs gets skewed or corrected (hopefully) when you understand more about that person. You just need to learn about yourself and what you want then get where you want or try to create what you want. (that has good intentions) Never compare yourself to others who you deem successful if they are in other fields. Most people can do whatever they want as long as they truly want to get to job/success/position and have knowledge to fully or mostly understand what they truly want. Peterson says some jobs you need higher IQ and what psychologists say is it cant be changed to get higher so maybe there are limitations but if you were not smart enough for that job it wouldnt interest you anyway since you couldnt understand it? But IQ is how fast you can learn to understand something but not how well you can do that something. I wonder what my IQ is... I hope it is high enough so I could do anything I wanted but it could likely average though even a lower IQ person(90-105) can get where they want to get, through hard work. I would like to be able to become something that mostly requires you to be smart and learn fast something like Physicist or Mathematician even though I am not interested in math.
@CL-fs3kt3 жыл бұрын
@@zuffin1864 I think OP was referring to jealousy in terms of seeing our partner interacting with someone else (in a way they shouldn’t be)
@electricdreams94463 жыл бұрын
totally
@shannonwilson46083 жыл бұрын
Don’t get close enough to anyone to be jealous of anything..... problem solved
@audrablue5154 ай бұрын
I was in a long on-again-off-again relationship with a narcissist. Although I didn't know that term at the time. He slowly eroded my boundaries, made me doubt myself and my memory and my decisions. He always acted hurt at what I supposedly did. He made me "see" how selfish I was to want to have things or time for myself. I didn't realise that his behaviour was just one mini betrayal after another. I blocked him and went no contact a few months ago for good. He realised I was serious this time, so he tried to undermine my healthy relationships with people who are important to me. He told lies to those people behind my back but they told me and dismissed him as a psycho creep. Even though I'm well schooled now in the art of the narcissist's behaviour, it still shocked me when my friend showed me the text he sent to her with the lies. It's funny but that betrayal hit the hardest. We aren't even together and yet it stung badly. Luckily my friend knows what he's like and finds it creepy that he's trying to get her onside so he can manipulate and gaslight her as well. She blocked him too 🤣 Decent people: 1, narcissist: 0.
@Leggy_Lines884 ай бұрын
😊Hiya..just read your comment and wondered if it's still Decent people-1 Narcissist-0
@LightlyLilyAsmr Жыл бұрын
My boyfriend and I had something happen and eventually I realized I wasn’t crazy for thinking what he was doing looked suspicious. So I told him, and we’ve talked about it and fought about it as JP mentions is how the process goes… We both try to not fight. We both have very good temperaments, but I’m more on the anxiety side. I made a vow to myself that I wouldn’t get upset for no good reason because most things in life aren’t that serious. The other day I was feeling very sad because I was thinking about the past and what he did, and I was so sad I thought it would be better to tell him(we were both stuck inside on a rainy day on our weekend). He got very angry and asked why do I stay in the past. I told him that people are like patterns and often repeat themselves, and I think that’s why the past still hurts me. It’s hard to heal from unfaithfulness, and almost feels like a ticking time bomb, but JP is so right in that it’s better to start fixing problems little by little.
@Grinningpicker004 жыл бұрын
Yah and then when you confront a narcissistic they gaslight and it’s sucks
@SelfLoveU4 жыл бұрын
Oh I didn't mean to do it... instead of taking responsibility.
@Grinningpicker004 жыл бұрын
Or deny and deflect and project the blame onto you
@Grinningpicker004 жыл бұрын
Alice InChristchurch well I wonder if my ex was that or a sociopath... doesn’t matter now. hang in there. You can and heal. Much love to you
@Grinningpicker004 жыл бұрын
Alice InChristchurch I appreciate your reply Catrina.
@honeybee61544 жыл бұрын
Everything was so perfect, wasn't it? Why ruin it? So you wonder if you're just starting something, being clingy, maybe you're jealous or controlling, maybe you are just seeing things that aren't there... basically you gaslight yourself right out of having that important conversation.
@greaterstark3 жыл бұрын
At the end of the day a romantic relationship should only ever be a PART of your life, not the whole thing..I’m all for protecting yourself from betrayal and what not (I’ve been cheated on before) but even if it happens you’re still YOU. You still have yourself. You still have your own interest, your own friends, your own path, independent from anyone else. Life will go on, even after a bad relationship. In all seriousness if you can’t truly say that sharing YOUR life will improve and benefit theirs and that YOUR life is just as relevant and important as your partners, you’ll have much bigger issues than getting betrayed. Always choose and cultivate YOU first and if he or she belongs to the streets even after you did all you could to make it work, it will be all good. You still have YOU. And no matter what happens in the world that will never ever change.
@Paislywalls47673 жыл бұрын
Thank you Mr.Robinson. Have a great day
@tiwiogunye3 жыл бұрын
Yessss Elliott 👏
@lizettd19813 жыл бұрын
Well said Mr. Robinson
@whoblitzell3 жыл бұрын
Agreed. One exception maybe is marriage with kids
@causticchameleon78613 жыл бұрын
Not really applicable to a 25 year marriage.
@htttppppp2 ай бұрын
Usually envy is what shatters friendships especially between women as they tend to conceal envy better but that doesn’t mean men are lagging behind
@annewrites...8385 Жыл бұрын
Marriage breakdown as an outcome of accumulating errors... fabulous definition. Thank you, Jordan.
@dave28084 жыл бұрын
When you know there's signs of betrayal but try to push them deep in your head, just know you played yourself
@brookewetuski50744 жыл бұрын
Juicebox95 Well said. THANK YOU!
@dave28084 жыл бұрын
It comes from experience
@KingofgraceSARA4 жыл бұрын
True!
@otoyoto71534 жыл бұрын
It’s hard to tell what’s a sign and what’s not when you have anxiety that makes everything look like a threat.
@Noblity543 жыл бұрын
Gut feeling is always correct- you may not know what it knows quite yet but it is correct. Part of the thing that keeps you alive and gives you an edge
@dasitmane75903 жыл бұрын
Ive always thought about: what if i have two or more conflicting gut feelings?
@sentracraze3 жыл бұрын
I’ve also had a gut feeling that my wife was cheating. Even told her this and asked her if she was. But kept denying until I caught her.
@babyxox9492 жыл бұрын
Gut feeling can just be a feeling, my ex accused me of cheating for years and that i didnt love him when he was everything to me, never even lied to him. Sometimes a git feeling is an insecurity in ones self not always the truth about someone else.
@AA-qw2jq2 жыл бұрын
I have severe anxiety. Don’t tell me thiiiiis lmao
@babyxox9492 жыл бұрын
@@AA-qw2jq thats not the truth so dont worry. Seriously
@teddyperkins6461 Жыл бұрын
I found out the love of my life cheated on me 3 weeks ago. I cannot put into words the magnitude of pain that I have felt and that I am still feeling. Now I look back, there were many warning signs of course, such as going out with friends more, wearing new clothes, odd comments, and putting pressures of commitment on our relationship. Here are a few lessons I have learned from this experience so far: 1. If you aren't taking notes on why the relationship is working, why she fell in love with you, and when the relationship is noticeably passionate, then you aren't doing enough to sustain the relationship. 2. Don't think you are too special to be cheated on. 3. Like Jordan said 'having an argument is worth it if the long-term alternative is something which destroys the relationship'. Be extremely perceptive of your partner's unhappiness and talk about it before it's used as fuel for betrayal.
@teddyperkins6461 Жыл бұрын
@YungNesz I'm so sorry that happened to you, it is truly the worst feeling imaginable. I am sending all the possible love and support your way to deal with this. I don't think cheaters will ever truly understand the magnitude of pain it causes until it happens to them. I can relate wholeheartedly to the point you make about effort. Although cheating is purely the fault of the cheater, the victims need to take some responsibility for the conditions of the relationship for the cheating to occur. In my case, much like yours, I was going through a very busy time, learning to drive, learning a second language (for her and her family!), starting a business, and working part-time, all whilst still making time for her. It feels weird to say that bettering our own lives could create the conditions for cheating, but I guess when you make your partner feel alone, they seek togetherness with another person, which does not excuse it! It's a horrible thing to do and the best thing would be just to break up, at least there is a chance at redemption there due to the trust remaining intact! I am 26, she is 21, and she was 19 when we met so there is definitely a maturity gap there which has to in some way contributed to what happened. I still love her so much, I still want to rekindle, but how, when now she wants to be a celibate Christian haha.
@stoneyascension7250 Жыл бұрын
JP has once again shown great wisdom. Get wise before the reality of life's betrayals hits you like a bag of bricks on the head. Loyal friends stick with you until the bitter end; disloyal friends show their hands early, smirk, and kick you when you're down.