On Feeling Lonely. (4)

[@erindillman]

I definitely did the whole fake it till you make it thing when my ex and I broke up. I also started a new hobby, I know you already cook but I started cooking for myself and my family and I totally dove into research and going to local super markets and everything. I'm much like you in keeping to myself and liking alone time so just taking myself to new sort of whole foods places and small coffee shops and parks and trails helped me feel better. I also started running when we broke up as a therapeutic thing, and then I ran a marathon so I had an end goal with it too, this video is really great, sometimes I find that the people behind the videos keep the personal stuff private which I understand but it's so nice to see someone so real. You're doing great, much love sent your way

[@FallIntoBooks]

I live off campus and am not immersed in the "college scene" as much as I probably could be, but like you, I enjoy my alone time. It's such a struggle to put yourself out there. And when I do, I usually end up at some crappy house party with cheap booze wishing I could be reading or watching Gilmore Girls. Ultimately, I'd love to host a reading party with classy AF wine and Yankee Candles. ;)

[@WorldsinInk]

Many people think that being alone = lonely, which couldn't be further from the truth. As long as you are happy being by yourself I don't see that as a problem.

[@EmMcCabe]

My boyfriend of 2 years who I was so in love with broke up with me out of nowhere. I went from having my best friend (him) to talk to everyday to not at all. However, when we broke up, I realized how many people I closed off and felt he was the only one that needed my attention. I didn't have him to watch our favorite tv together. But I realized that my best friends will be glad to keep up with my catch of the episode. It means the world to me to have someone like you to 1000% relate to.

[@jennifercahill7397]

I love being by myself too. I can go a while without being lonely. Social media helps with loneliness for me.

[@lifeisagifthorse]

I too have a great capacity to entertain myself...But when I think about Life, at large, I think this is a place for meetings. Comings and goings. But we are mostly here to meet; to help & enjoy each other. To share things. To laugh & cry together...and to get each other out of trouble. To amuse & love. So I can spend time with a hundred different geniuses in books & movies--but a lot of them are dead. I'm making friends with ghosts, and that can be (is mostly) a one-sided relationship. OR, I can go on errands; just go out & meet people; make friends...I think it was Emerson who said, "If you want to make a friend, be one."

[@FluffyKittenMEOW]

This was really nice...I feel that throughout life you feel lonely until all of a sudden you stop to think and realize there's so many ways to fix it. And then you do and the happiness is so much better. I think feeling lonely at one point makes you appreciate other people so much more

[@MagicalSoulMindStorm]

Even the lone wolf gets lonely sometimes. It's good that it gives you some reflection time and that you are reaching out. Making new friends is hard, but you have to try. Just like any relationship some will work and others won't. Do you have any pets? Volunteering to read to shelter dogs or play with cats at a rescue group can help them and make you feel better.

[@lemsaadimouna6748]

been alone with books isn't a loneliness feeling , i think books can be friends too

[@jzsketchcraft]

I know exactly what you mean. My 'best friend' was my only friend, mainly because other people around me hated him because of how he hurt me over and over and I thought they all gave up on me, when I finally got away from that abusive friend I realised my friends hadn't all left me, I started making new friends and reconnecting with old friends, but then I made a mistake and had a mental health relapse and I went straight back to 'him', and now I'm back to square one, now when he's not here I feel so lonely, my friends aren't talking to me because I went back to him again, it's been 7 years and now I've ended almost all those friendships by going back to him after promising them I wouldn't, they ignore my messages, but even when 'he' comes over I'm alone.

[@lotus1186]

I totally relate with this. I need my alone time and I love being alone. At some point though I start feeling like an actual hermit and would have to force myself to make plans and go out with my friends. I immediately curse myself for it. When I do go out though, it's always fun and I actually thank past me for putting myself through all the "trouble." It's a pretty vicious cycle but it helps that my friends understand my need to be alone a lot.

[@emilwoolf]

I'm also very lonely. I do online university so am home alone all day long, I have literally no friends, I haven't been out with someone outside my family in months and months. It's an incredibly lonely experience, and I rely on books and journaling to get me through. I'd like more friends, but because it's been so long since I've gone out and met new people my social anxiety is through the roof and I really feel like it's always going to be impossible to find friends. Due to bad experiences with abuse with guys I'm hesitant to start seeking a relationship, so it literally just is me alone and I hate it so much... Most of the time I like being alone, but when I realise I have literally no-one I can talk to it hits me...

[@Carol12510crb]

Amelia Rose Reads Go outside, take a class, do something! Don't start talking with people at first, take your time, but try to do something every day to get closer to your goal. Don't let the anxiety win and take control of your life, you are in control and you can do whatever you want! One step at a time, you'll be fine

[@dontsleepread]

I can relate. I love being by myself. I never understood why some people can't go anywhere or do anything without someone else.

[@onlyangel07]

i appreciate having alone time to myself! it's just a feeling of not dealing with a lot of people. but at the same time i feel lonely cause i have only a couple friends. instead i'm trying to spend more time with them than thinking i'm all alone. (*sings mr lonely)

[@vilkenstrutzutzutz]

I have thought a lot about this lately. One year ago I became homeless, and I've been living with a friend, with all my other friends no more than ten minutes away. I really want my own place, but my only shot at a place of my own is in another city, where I know NO ONE, and my family lives in another country. I used to have a bunch of cats, but they had to move when I became homeless.. and I'm afraid to get a new one when I move, because I won't have anyone to look after it if I want to go visit my friends or family, which means I'll be all alone in a town I've never visited before. I also can't work because of stress, depression and ADD. I try to stay positive, but it's hard.

[@ylrim]

I recently started journaling in my extensive (and much needed) hours of alone time. Makes me feel less like I'm actually alone, getting to know my mind better while looking for the most beautiful words to express my thoughts makes me feel good about myself. Great video Dana! Always nice to know there are fellow content loners out there :)

[@1book1review]

The internet is such a great place to go to when you feel lonely, I do that too so often, because there are no people who share the same interests. Also so true about reaching out. I forget that so often when I feel lonely, but I really try to keep in contact with people regularly. Hang in there. Hugs.

[@sighn0m0re]

I really loved what you said about counting coworkers and people you talk to everyday as your friends. I've been living in this space that feels a lot like isolation and Ive been having a hard time, but looking at it the way you do really helps. Thanks for some perspective!

[@tomtom21194]

Relate so much to this. Ive been socially isolated for years because of illness and being bed or house bound. Trying to meet and connect with people is so hard now, im really out of practice and anxiety is a problem. I sometimes feel i like my own company too much but am still lonely. sucks.

[@hborgonjon8252]

I've been faking it for a year now. except I do not smile or act happy. disabled veteran and I relocated last summer. I always tell myself, "it could be worse".

[@anancybrown]

I relate to you so much! I love being alone too, but my boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago and I've struggled with feeling lonely a lot easier than I ever did before. I had to remind myself that I am blessed to have quite a few friends and I started making plans and keeping busy and it has been wonderful! I still get my alone time but there are always people to call and spend time with to keep me from isolating myself too much. I'm glad you have that support system too :)

[@jaykaria4776]

I’ve been lonely for 4 years. In that 4 years, I haven’t had any friends and it’s absolutely horrible being lonely with no one to talk to.

[@mapadventures7409]

I just stumbled upon this video and I'm so happy I did! I needed this reminder that I am not alone in enjoying my own company best but working through the loneliness that comes. I also struggle with being too independent and isolating myself.

[@AbiSaad]

aww! loved this video 🤗. I have always been a loner too but lately the loneliness had started to creep in (I'm away at uni and living in my own apartment ), as you said spending too much time by yourself it's dangerous because you are having so much fun , you forget humans need interaction lol.So I try to call my family everyday; that always give me the comfort I need. also, I've been trying to hang out more with some of classmates at least to study(I should really start calling them friends but I'm too stubborn)sometimes I miss my old friends and I'm too stupid to realise that I CAN TEXT THEM OR SEND THEM AUDIOS LITERALLY ANYTIME I WANT. so when I do realise, I update them about my life, ask about theirs and share some fangirl moments about the shows/books/celebrities we have in common.another great idea to fight loneliness is going to the cinema/a local show by yourself, I only have done this a few times but I should do it more often because it actually had cheered me up! also... When you are alone and life is making you lonely you can always go DOWNTOWN 🎵

[@jantoinettec]

Your strength and resilience through all these rough times is SO inspiring!! Keep pushing forward, the best is yet to come!!! Sending you lots of good vibes!!!!

[@fallingforyou56]

i'm proud of you for trying to get back up, it is very hard when you lose a partner that was also your best friend, it happened to me also and I think the most important thing is the support from other people. when I was so lonely I started hanging out with my family more, doing new things and getting out of my comfort zone. I redecorated my room, changed my hair, started making a video diary trying to sort out my thoughts and feelings, and all of that helped so much! now I think if I could survive that there isn't anything I can't, because I thought we were going to be together forever and we were moved in and then there was a huge hole in my life, I felt like a part of me was missing. now I now that happened for a reason, it made me a better person to go through the pain, I realized that person is very very wrong for me, and I have met someone else and now I'm happy! hope you get something useful out of this story. i love the vlogvember!

[@josefinadiaz3269]

When I feel lonely I visit my little nieces and nephews. Lol myself and 2 of my sisters live on the same block so we're a 4 min walk away. it must be a Mexican thing 😂 I love your outlook on life it's so well natured and filled with good intentions. I'm so glad I get to see a sliver of your life on here.

[@DontHaveaDegreeinReading]

I have that problem as well. I just like being by myself too much. I am very close with two of my sisters, but between work and distance it's hard to see them. :(

[@jenniferholtz9374]

You seem like such a wonderful person and I feel like we'd get along so well if we knew each other in person! I fell into a similar sort of loneliness rut when I first started college last year. My school is 4 hours away from home and I don't have a car, so I only get to visit home a few times during the school year. My first quarter, I had so much trouble making friends because I was so used to the people at home I'd forgotten how to reach out to new people and make connections in my classes and in my dorm. This year, I've pushed myself to maintain connections with people I meet, even it's just chatting a little in class with some, but making plans with others. Having a net of people to talk to is so helpful in trying to stop feeling lonely. If I hadn't branch out, I don't know who I'd text to go get coffee with me or just keep me company when I got lonely. I'm glad you've found your friends and I hope things continue to get better and better :)

[@AeronJames]

I relate to this so much! My ex broke up with me at the end of March and I've spent the majority of the year feeling the same as you and learning ways to cope and stand on my own two feet again. Thank you for making this x

[@rakeezasheren2016]

I totally feel ya, I am living this right now.. its soo tough... and its sooo difficult. but actually learning new hobbies kind of help me alot. maybe you should too. learn a new language, learn a new art, learn sewing.

[@tinafromadelaide2073]

Hi Dana! I'm one of those people who can spend a lot of time alone too. I am also the kind of person who usually has only a few people close...partly because I like it that way and partly...I don't know why! I recently heard that when you're out of your comfort zone, you're in your growth zone. A bit tacky, but so true! Growing hurts, but it's worth it xo

[@JayGTheAwkwardBookworm]

Gah, I hope you feel better quickly! Colds are the worst. I'm glad you're healing and working on yourself

[@nutshellreadsandwrites]

I have realised I really need to reach out to people too recently. I am also someone who is comfortable with my own company but this year especially have been a rough one for me brain-wise and I get in this automatic shut-down sometimes and I need to constantly force myself to get out of that.

[@monkeyheadbonkers9303]

I am an incredibly social person but being alone is also one of my favorite things ever. As i get older, I love it even more. I'm grateful i love myself so much. Also, your TV show analogy. So so true. Those r the things you miss most but you're right. Those things are not unique to you guys and you never see that until you don't have that person. You sound so rational and I'm so happy to hear it. I love your videos so much and even just thru the Internet, I feel like you're my friend. Good luck. Things will get better. Break ups are so so so so hard.

[@leesarollins2696]

You have no idea how much I needed to hear this!! You have given me such a different perspective on things. I myself love my alone time but there are times when I'm very lonely and feeling sorry for myself. Again I'm not reaching out to anyone either. To combat my loneliness I read a lot. It really helps me to not dwell on things.

[@BexxBuckley]

I also really like being alone, good thing I do because where I live I don't really have any friends. I want to be able to reach out to people and make friends again. I also want to be able to get my own place in the next few years.

[@libbysreadingcorner9564]

I have 2 of my best friends over. Plus i read, i write, plus i watch some tv shows by myself. i am usually alone for the most part of the week beside my family who i live with but that is what i do when i am by myself.

[@flotocorazon]

I can relate 100% with everything you just said. Actually even more in one sense because I don't have (or had) a proper boyfriend to share things with me. So i've been pretty alone my entire life (i'm 24 btw) and i love it. In september i went to Italy just by myself and it was awesome. But of course once in a while i feel alone and there're moments i'd like to have someone. One thing that i think is good is having little talks (even through messages) with people you like. You don't have to talk with them every single day but couple times a week at least; to show you remember them for some reason, you care, and if you feel to, call them to hanging out. The chances they'll do the same are bigger i guess. Hope you get better girl :)

[@Dulcedeletii]

This video came at such a good time. I've been so suicidal lately and needed someone and this helped me.

[@ashleyfilippo8348]

Girl I am kind of the same way. I love my alone and introverted time but I make sure I reach out to my few close friends. #qualityoverquantity 🙌🏼

[@ateodozja]

It breaks my heart to see you going through hard times, but also I know that - at least for me - the most fantastic changes and good things so often come from difficult situations. Keeping my fingers crossed so hard for you to find your better place in life soon. You may not feel like it, but you are doing great. Take care, xoxo

[@rura4386]

if you feel lonely you should definitely get a pet like a cat or dog they really help and you always have company

[@lisannez1207]

I love your honesty and self-care talk

[@saraamariex]

Really appreciated this video! I also love being by myself but since August I've been living alone and there were a few though weeks where I was soooo lonely and sad that no one was reaching out to me. To be happy I had to get over that and reach out to people and make plans for the weekend which was tough but so worth it. Things I love doing alone include reading, watching documentaries and listening to podcasts on walks. Also I go to the library to do homework just so I have people around me. Hope some of these ideas help and keep up the great attitude!

[@alana2998]

Thank you Dana for saying that you are comfortable with having time on your own and that you are independent. I am like that as well and I have always felt weird and bad about it because not everybody is like that and my mother used to tell me how weird I was :/ now I am more confident and I have my own time and I don't care so much about what other people say, also hearing you say it made me feel a lot better.

[@LoveQuebec22]

Such an interesting topic! Like you, I appreciate my alone time and became very comfortable with being alone since a 3 month solo backpacking trip a few years back. The hard part for me is also reaching out to people and keeping an healthy balance of alone time and hanging out with people. It's a work in progress for me but that's ok. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

[@oliviabarker1346]

i honestly don't know what to do. i have "friends", but only bc they won't leave me alone? i don't want to be friends with people who expect me to be there for them, but whenever i need something they can't be there for me. i'm too scared to cut people out of my life and making new friends is hard so i just kind of get complacent and isolate myself.

[@theGillybean_Chronicle]

You have some great ideas for combating loneliness and I commend you for sharing them with your viewers. Thank you for making this video. My hope is that it has helped at least one person here today. Of course, the need to socialize depends on personality type and age. There is such a push with the younger generation to be outgoing and to socialize because if you don't you're viewed as "odd". When you get into the "domesticated" time in your life (when you maybe find a life partner, have a home, have kids, etc)., there's less of a force to get you to socialize. People tend to understand that you have a family and priorities and that will take away from socialization. However, I think this is a time in your life when you have to make the biggest effort to be social so feelings of loneliness and resentment don't set in. It can be a struggle, yes, but your ideas can work, even for us "seasoned" adults.

[@blackcat138]

Dan, you're a beautiful woman and I love you alot! you remind me alot of myself. there is nothing wrong about enjoying oneself! you go girl!

[@blackcat138]

you'll meet someone special again just fall in love with yourself first and the rest will follow.

[@MrMasterNorris]

I totally get that on reaching out to people. I just had a break up a month ago and For me it's kinda uncomfortable to reach out; but like u said it's what u gotta do. Its kinda like a leap of faith but for me it's been working

[@Simplystarra]

MrMasterNorris break ups are so hard... u gotta do self journeys and things to make u feel great! Then when ur with others ur able to be positive while with them cuz uve already got urself to where u need to be ❤️ I hope each day gets a little easier for u. I know it's super heard

[@Simplystarra]

MrMasterNorris *hard

[@eliska3197]

You're incredible. I love how you're dealing with all of this. I send you positive thoughts and positive energy across the ocean. You're an amazing person. Thank you that you exist and that you gave me the chance to meet you through KZbin. Have a nice day, weekend, life. :)

[@Cgoggin100]

It can be tough, I'm going through the same as you. But I am also someone who likes to be by themselves but can feel alone at times. Broke up with my gf about a month ago.

[@LittleHippieBigCity]

I really appreciate your honesty, your candidness in this video. What you shared helps me with my similar situation. Have a great weekend!

[@kristenmarie886]

Goddamn Dana, these videos lately have been so perfect and just what I need to hear. First with your video about taking a semester off and then lately with talking about your breakup and feelings and just.. it's been really helpful to me to see you work through your own stuff since it's the same stuff im working through too. Also, I'm constantly thinking about you and hoping you're doing well so I hope you can find some peace(?) in knowing you got support coming from me all the way in California. ❤️

[@jeanetteagain6631]

Wow your such an amazing individual to share your pain and experience and I believe all that time your spending alone is helping you to grow 💪🏻🙏🏻

[@memoboules760]

You are just a great person, i believe that u can make it out of this. even more positive and stronger. Love ❤️

[@pinkflamingo2187]

I love you,you are so cute,and i admire your positivity......that is so freaking cool that you are a star bucks manager and booktuber,the books you read are awesome and so different... Go in please,and make vlogmas too,these spontaneous vid are the best.

[@leenhanini4204]

I appreciate my alone time a lot , nothing feels more relaxing than that , sorry you feel like that but please keep it up , good luck with Chinese stuff

[@brunabento4866]

Keep going, Dana! You're doing better than you think! Would you consider talking about what do you study at university? I know you are taking a gap but like what have you studied already and what will you study? pls don't feel pressured, i'm only curious about your aspirations and also i'm from another country and I bet it's a bit different here and there :) p.s: In your old bedroom, you had an universe/galaxy/black hole/whatever painting who used to hang in the back of your videos. Are you into space stuff and this kind of things? Tell us more, pls! byee!

[@ReadWriteScribble]

Loving these November blogs

[@kristina58258]

Great to have you back :)

[@Tom_ie_12]

i can really relate to u on so many levels luv ur channel and content stay strong

[@hughtube5154]

You have a good perspective. Thanks for the video.

[@SuperStrangSshadow]

I am alone 24/7 so know how that feels.

[@Iry951]

You are a very nice person! :)

[@AudioVideoDiscoFTW]

reaching is the hardest! i get that

[@jeanetteagain6631]

My advise for your lonely feeling invest in modeling acting things you luv 😉👍🏻

[@lindsaystein5717]

what are your favorite TV shows

[@lolane1079]

You're beautiful 😍

[@cloroxbleach175]

Ill be your boyfriend bruh