Theocracy - Rudolph vs Frosty

lyrics:
Everyone knows Rudolph has a big, red shiny nose
And Frosty comes to town every December when it snows
But did you know that those two never really got along?
I bet you've never heard this Christmas song...
"I've paid my dues for years and years,
I'm Santa's very favorite deer,
so I should be the second in command at Christmastime,"
Says Rudolph
"Pull the sleigh where Santa goes
and light the night with my red nose,
I think it's time for me to get what's mine"
"Night lights are replaceable
a talking snowman's magical;
my agent says I need a bigger piece of Santa's pie"
Says Frosty
"I bring children real joy,
not just the latest stupid toy,
I think it's time for me to get what's mine"
Then Rudolph rang his reindeer bells
Turned and sang with all the elves
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's on his way
You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho!
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa's gonna take a torch and melt you to the floor
"Frosty, you've got coal for eyes,
when things get hot you won't survive,
so get out of my way, this job is mine, all mine (now snowman step aside),"
Says Rudolph
"Rudolph, man, your claim to fame's a lightbulb and a funny name, and everybody knows I'm next in line"
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won't you kiss my corn cob pipe
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's on his way
You'd better stop that bickering before it's Christmas day
Ho Ho Ho!
Egg nog and mistletoe
And Santa's gonna mount you in his living room for show
"Hey Rudolph!"
"What?"
"I wrote a song about you!"
"Oh boy..."
"You wanna hear it? Here it go!
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose
And when old Saint Nick saw it
He thought it would look really good mounted on his wall"
"Oh you think that's funny? Well check this out:
Frosty the Snowman
Was a puddle on the ground
And a makeshift scoop for the reindeer poop
Is the best use for his magic hat I've found"
With a nod of his head,
Rudolph took to the sky,
and swooping down, he gouged at Frosty
with an antler to the eye
But Frosty struck right back
and grabbed his bright red nose,
and turned it right into a popcicle
as Rudolph's whole head froze
But Rudolph broke the ice,
shook his antlers twice,
and raced back in to strike again
But then a "Ho Ho Ho!"
came booming from the sky,
the echoed voice of you-know-who
With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye,
Saint Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a "Ho Ho Ho!" and a "Look out below!"
Saint Nick
With the cookies and milk and a bowlful of jelly in his belly
And a dash through the sky, and a twinkle in his eye,
Saint Nick
With a bag full of toys for the good girls and boys on his shoulder
And a reindeer call and a "Dash away all!"
Saint Nick
"You two ougtta be ashamed,
you've sullied Santa's perfect name,
this operation would go down the drain if I retired,"
Says Santa
"Neither of you gets the job,
so go and join the Grinch's mob,
and Merry Christmas both of you,
you're fired!"
Then Santa broke into a smile
Said, "Everyone else stay awhile!"
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's here today
And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho!
Everything's alright
'Cause Mrs. Claus has whipped us up a Christmas feast tonight
Hey Hey Hey!
Santa's here today
And now it's time for Christmas dinner, everyone awaits
Ho Ho Ho!
Everything's alright
'Cause Santa's having venison and snow ice cream tonight

[@Taika_talvi]

Headbangin' to this at the beginning of July...

[@marciogarcia9029]

*THIS SONG IS AWESOME!!* *SIMPLY EXCELLENT!!* *GOD BLESS THEOCRACY!!*

[@Lloser02]

Nothing says Christmas like a song battle between Frosty and Rudolph by a heavy metal band. Best. Christmas song. Ever.

[@micahfoley7979]

This is probably the most hilariously favorite rendition of a christmas that I have ever heard.

[@pompshuffle562]

Dang I can't find this on spotify

[@andi3531]

I wish this song was on Apple Music, I listen to Wynter Fever and All I Want every Christmas 🙂

[@MayBeSomething]

Theocracy: "Merry Christmas, both of you. You're fired!" Also Theocracy: "Frosty got a job in a kitchen, and his boss is in a terrible mood. He said, 'I swear I'm tossing you in the oven if you keep sweating in the food'... Rudolph's whole career took a nosedive hanging out at seedy places at night. Now he spends his days making minimum wage as the worlds first living traffic light." Good thing Santa was joking...

[@wolfbassgames1244]

HILARIOUS SONG!! My question is: Who thought of this song? I LOVE IT!!!!

[@reedpeterson8237]

+Levi Thorson Matt Smith, vocalist and mastermind of the band Theocracy.

[@hethc3269]

Oh my goodness i love this band and have for a long LONG time and this just make me LOVE them more!!!!!

[@camion300]

Awesome. Only Theocracy can do this. Si no la controlan no la fumen mis carnales. Saludos desde Philadelphia PA. Greetings from Philadelphia PA.

[@charlessharn1267]

Loving this for years Everyone I have ever played this looooves it My 11 yr old daughter's favorite X-Mas tune Matt, you need to market this - you are much better than most and should be HUGE best of luck g

[@michelnewcomb9860]

I love this song but the ending is actually pretty dark. Not only does Santa fire both Rudolf and Frosty, he also kills them and feeds them to his elves.

[@sirpercy]

one more year...Merry Xmas with the best Xmas song!! :)

[@Tygineer]

i like the beginning the most

[@Aglassdarkly116]

Mmmm venison and snow cream! This song should be more widely known...

[@MaximusAdonicus]

Only the best X-mas song ever!! \m/

[@brizzell2101]

Somebody needs to convince Michael Bay to do a music video Of this

[@manusadyk]

JAJAJAJAJA REAAALLY THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONG THA I'VE HEARD XD, REALLY GOOD JAJAJAJA

[@TheBros2theend]

God bless and save you

[@LandonIW]

Why exactly isn't this on Spotify? And why isn't it the most popular Christmas song???

[@josephdells]

Awesome

[@bramdonlagos6774]

Muy duena vanda

[@MoonTiger88]

I wonder.. in which album can this be found, or is this just a "make a christmas song" kinda thing :)

[@KrystalHarwood-ty7rk]

sounds similar to father time by majestica!

[@digitalsnot]

but this song was released 8 years before Father Time

[@bramdonlagos6774]

Los felisito

[@dpesmits]

fantastic !! and I am not even american

[@TheBros2theend]

Jesus Christ loves you God bless and save you