Should Animals Be Doing More For Animal Rights?

Panelists discuss whether animals should play a more active role in the fight for their rights by participating in marches or organizing boycotts.
More coverage at: onion.com

[@tk0208]

If animals don’t want to be eaten why are they made of food?

[@RonJohn63]

That's surprisingly profound.

[@Dotum]

Don’t you suppose that in order to fear being eaten, you must first be edible?

[@arpitshukla2981]

This didn't age well. #covid 😂😂

[@Abhishek-sr2pu]

@@arpitshukla2981 well if you bats then

[@petergriffin6223]

@@arpitshukla2981 It was posted when covid was already loose u stupid boy💪

[@MajesticSkywhale]

Did Clifford ever get revenge on his father's killer? I've been wondering for 10 years please update

[@phillipborbon6598]

Still searching

[@lastoinktonight2723]

I think if I was hunting down the scumbag who killed my father, I would tell my boss, that I´m just sick or want to take prolonged holiday or smth. But maybe that´s just me.

[@fishyc150]

Ive heard that the guy that killed his dad was the same black man that killed and ate the camper leaving the half eaten fish. Thought they had him at one point but got the wrong guy. They're still looking for him.

[@abdmzn]

He got killed and now his son is looking for the scumbag who killed him.

[@valdrex3531]

hey hey rhodesia

[@christinash2235]

"The only thing that's keeping me from being a member of PETA is their persistent support of water buffalo." That is such a hilarious play on speciesism.

[@jaschabull2365]

He's probably mad because everybody's got one except for him, the salt is real.

[@WhyArentYouVegan]

You said it Christi, I think the Onion was more ahead of it's time then people give it credit for with this one.

[@robsan5410]

@@jaschabull2365 holy shit. That took me back.

[@Irgendwelche5]

"Speciesism" is probably the dumbest word ever created lol

[@drabnail777]

@@Irgendwelche5 Dont get offended dude. Im sure people thought Racism was a dumb word too.

[@dontlikesand1955]

#NotAllWaterBuffalo

[@musiew683]

stop virtue signalling, water buffalo will get the right to vote when they learn to be literate and become functioning members of society

[@paige5158]

@@musiew683 Its people like u who have push water buffalo rights back at least 5 years

[@jakes1566]

The water buffalos are innocent! It's the fire buffalos that arent following the law and are refusing to be civilised!

[@Adrian-xb5fq]

Jake S this is true. It’s the fire buffalos who wiped out the entire race of air buffalos, including the avatar

[@jaschabull2365]

#YesEverybodyHasGotAWaterBuffalo

[@JamesatWar]

"I dont like those hermit crabs" lol

[@jamirec]

me neither

[@jwaj]

Ok 12 year old comment

[@conorgiven3921]

@@jwaj when that person wrote that comment i was 9

[@PimpKilla789]

I was 17

[@nekozombie]

@@conorgiven3921 damn, I was 8 :o

[@AdamYJ]

To be fair, that Million Dog March may have worked if that squirrel hadn't run by.

[@ipodtouch495]

It was bad enough after the squirrel, but when the rabbit came along? Jesus it was a fucking free for all after that!

[@Laugh-a-lot983]

@@ipodtouch495 Not even. It was the cat that caused all the ruckus. He couldn't mind his own business when the time came.

[@inspectorjavert8443]

Laugh a-lot stop pussy shaming

[@Kingofavolon]

@@inspectorjavert8443 Yeah at least Ben Shapiro is ok with pussies when they're dry, but these guys are just being assholes to all of them.

[@Sinha010]

That squirrel knew what she was doing when she walked by those dogs. She knew they couldn't help themselves, and she wanted some dog action, too. I wouldn't be surprised if she was an agent provocateur.

[@vexivero]

"animals have traditionally been politically apathetic" lmao 3 years later these videos are even funnier to me

[@thebag3429]

Vexivero 10 years

[@n0ame1u1]

@@thebag3429 11 years

[@LucasSChiefsLightning]

@@thebag3429 Maybe he first watched it 3 years ago

[@theyoshi202]

@Chiefs Lightning .......that doesn’t fix things.

[@chonacastillo4777]

Context? I live with patrick star

[@joea.9969]

I DONT LIKE THOSE HERMIT CRABS!

[@alexsarullo3753]

Joe A. No

[@manicabawse2867]

Casual racism

[@HiFisch94]

Cracked me up

[@captaintomato5433]

You know you've been watching too much Onion when you can pinpoint the exact character who said something as well as their voice reading the quote out to you before you even see it in the actual video.

[@BlurryLens3105]

1:34

[@JiveTalkinJack]

"No one is going to argue with that point." "Well, I mean, some people do argue with that point." and then it's just dropped. Haha

[@siyacer]

They're facting

[@smeetb01]

Juliana was born a savage that's why

[@aljohnson8209]

Fucking geniuses

[@pleasegetoffofmyaccounttho1356]

Nugget

[@someguy2135]

The benefits of switching to a purely plant based diet are amazing. 1-Your own health (vegans are less likely to get several deadly chronic diseases) 2-Helping to end animal agriculture would reduce the chance of another pandemic & other zoonotic diseases 3-Helping to end animal ag would reduce the chance of the development of an antibiotic resistant pathogen. 4-Animal ag wastes a huge amount of fresh water 5-Animal ag is a major cause of water pollution 6-Animal ag is a major cause of deforestation 7-Animal ag increases PTSD and spousal abuse in the people who work in slaughterhouses 8-Animal ag is a major cause of the loss of habitat and biodiversity 9-Animal welfare, obviously 10- It is the single most effective way for each of us to fight climate change and environmental degradation. 11- Longer lifespan. 12- Healthier weight (vegans were the only dietary group in the Adventist Studies that had an average BMI in the recommended range.) 13- Ending animal ag would save the lives of 8 million people every year and save $1.5 trillion dollars (Oxford Study.) Links for some of these are at my channel under "About."

[@Jotto999]

There's something special about The Onion, such that their jokes tend to age really well. Just as funny or even funnier many years later.

[@plushiesdx]

they age like a fine onion

[@tracy9610]

@plushiesdx 🤣🤣🤣

[@wh5601]

Yep incredibly salient given the events of the last year and the ignorant or just plain bigoted responses from some to the BLM protests. Honestly it’s as though the Onion staff were time travellers

[@0Freguenedy0]

They are so underrated

[@TigaToonsELTiagor]

They respects and understand deeply what they're talking about. Satire at its best.

[@petesmith9475]

That angry black lady is just great.

[@skyislandaz]

That's Maxine Waters!

[@Yog--Sothoth]

nancy is great. this channel should make a list with all of the videos with her in it.

[@Yog--Sothoth]

HMM? maybe i'll do that myself

[@X_Ov3R-_-Ki11]

That's ET

[@Mashineish]

@@Yog--Sothoth i subscribed to u for this video.

[@HotCuppaCoffee]

If animals are too damn lazy to stand-up for their Rights, why should I? Rights come with responsibility, and I have yet to see any animal take responsibility for it's actions. Until that day comes, I say, they're on their own!

[@drasent]

This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Go ahead & be lazy, I just pray you never have animals & if you do, I pray for their safety, hoping a decent person adopts them.

[@HotCuppaCoffee]

drasent Well thanks, *_PETA !_* It's animals that are lazy. That's why most of them went extinct. They don't care about us, so I say, screw them too!

[@manuelantuna2749]

If animals wouldn't wanna be molested THEY SHOULD SPEAK UP!!!

[@ileryon4019]

My dog ate some random food I dropped on the floor and he dont even care. Not a single fuck given.

[@iwantlee9510]

drasent ?

[@jewbinson]

"Just keep throwing paint on people" "Because people love having paint thrown on them" "Yes, it's lovely"

[@VixieTSQ]

The way she says it's lovely is amazing too

[@justinmceachern4953]

If they didn't want me to put them in a hole and wear their skin they should of used the lotion I bought them because now they get the hose again.

[@drabnail777]

The paint exposes their guilt

[@alandolawson1924]

@@VixieTSQ Imagine if she had a British accent "It's luvley"

[@TheRatOnFire_]

Just stop oil stole some ideas hmmm

[@noxaurum1]

I don't like those hermit crabs either

[@SilverSpade92]

That'sWhatSheSaid that lady always has the best lines

[@inspectorjavert8443]

Hey jack ass I identify as a hermit crab and I'm repotting you to the You Tube Heros for harassment!

[@BazicShotz]

I was looking for this comment

[@dyslexiusmaximus]

It fucking killed me

[@Dave_Chrome]

@@inspectorjavert8443 KZbin Heroes hahahhaa

[@georgiohenderson5998]

I bring up a lot of Onion topics at work and no one quite understands

[@kwanbuggs288]

Georgio Henderson hey

[@SovietRussia777]

@@kwanbuggs288 hey

[@hisexcellencypresidentofre4118]

It takes a certain level of intellect to grasp onion jokes..lol

[@gcg8187]

If animals wouldn't wanna be molested THEY SHOULD SPEAK UP!!!

[@TheLoneMitten]

Dont apologize. You're the one who wasted your life on this.

[@Nickname10344]

“Animals have traditionally been politically apathetic” I love the Onion so much

[@sunkcostfallacy2738]

Ikr. I wish they'd bring back this format. I miss it. Now, it's more like a podcast kind of thing.

[@sunkcostfallacy2738]

@@labadaba5088 It's a little more complex than that. It's primarily making fun of our exploitative capitalistic consumer culture here in the West that exploits third world wage slave children (and sometimes, outright chattel slave children) so we can luxuriate with our cheap phones, cheap clothes (or our expensive clothes), coffee, chocolate bars and candy in general, etc. The list goes on. It's about Western hyper-consumerism and hypocrisy. So it's not making fun of the children, it's making fun of us.

[@passionofthecrust9173]

@@labadaba5088 Black/minority rights. Don't know what the other guy's on about

[@raftlack4326]

jimothy?

[@someguy2135]

It's funny because animals can't talk for themselves. Unless you count body language, or the screams of pigs as they suffocate in the gas chambers that are sometimes used. That, of course, is not so funny.

[@DudeKembro69]

"Well if they EVER want to VOTE, they'd better start learnin how to march!" "I don't like those hermit crabs!" These lines have lived rent free in my head for all of my adult life thus far.

[@joycee5493]

I think this was the funniest line in the whole skit!!!

[@udarasamarasinghe8811]

Migrating Wildebeest have entered the chat

[@someguy2135]

It's funny because animals can't talk for themselves. Unless you count body language, or the screams of pigs as they suffocate in the gas chambers that are sometimes used. That, of course, is not so funny.

[@an000n]

@@someguy2135 or the a deer watching helplessly as it’s intentions are ripped out by a pack of wolves. Being an animal must suck

[@someguy2135]

@@an000n When humans breed dogs and cats into existence, they become our responsiblity. When humans breed farm animals into existence, they become our responsibility. Predators in the wild need to kill other animals to survive and thrive. Humans do not.

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

Fun fact, ALL animal rights activism has been in fact carried out by animals.

[@revenevan11]

Woah that just kinda blew my mind lol

[@thecommiesalami9217]

All rights are animal right if you think about it

[@firstnamelastname3477]

No, actually there's a reddit user called u/veganactivismbot which, as the name implies it is not an animal but it does animal rights activism.

[@antan2329]

@@firstnamelastname3477 even the fucking robots are trying to force veganism on everyone

[@jorge8596]

@@antan2329 I only consume vegan friendly, gluten-free electricity

[@dontlikesand1955]

I can't stand the specists. Duncan's disdain for the water buffalo has hurt the entire movement considering how popular his book was.

[@brianlee222]

"The Water Buffalo cries out, even as it strikes you"

[@timopper5488]

DontLikeSand Personally, I think the water buffalo should have MORE rights than people.

[@swagcandy2576]

Yeah his book "My struggle... with water buffalo" really resonates with me and brings up valid arguments

[@falpsdsqglthnsac]

i don't like those hermit crabs

[@9movierox]

i find those two peoples prejudice very insulting! my father was a water buffalo and my mother was half hermit crab, and i must say that both are proud species! join me fellow hermit buffalos in fighting for our rights! we may be frowned on more than any other species but we must show the world that wee are not afraid!

[@sunkcostfallacy2738]

I'm 100 percent human, but I promise to get offended on your behalf whenever I see anyone on Twitter make fun of water buffalos and hermit crabs. I understand my privilege, and promise to do everything in my power to check it.

[@fishyfish1917]

@@sunkcostfallacy2738 Check your privileges, human.

[@carbon5362]

@@fishyfish1917 Check your privilege of privilege checking, fish.

[@someguy2135]

t's funny because animals can't talk for themselves. Unless you count body language, or the screams of pigs as they suffocate in the gas chambers that are sometimes used. That, of course, is not so funny.

[@anquanpham4287]

@@carbon5362 Check your privileges of not being alive, rock.

[@memo646]

I dont like those hermit crabs >_>

[@Trolligarch]

Clearly, animals are complacent in their repression

[@hlawulekanimangwani]

Complicit

[@chtholly8084]

@@hlawulekanimangwani Complicated

[@ludie_]

librul

[@pratikbrli]

complaisant???

[@jaymesigler6402]

*oppression

[@NicholasVossVader545]

Not a fan of PETA, love their bread though.

[@heirofthenazareen3812]

LOL :-)

[@TCt83067695]

Lol you're ridiculous🤣

[@someguy2135]

Just be sure not to put slices of animals inside the bread. I like Tofurky myself.

[@dawaronline]

The work that is consistently put into this writing of THIS SHOW to make sure there is always space for a nuanced, multifaceted debate about the most ridiculous topics, will NEVER be fully appreciated.

[@MrDino1953]

Wrong. I appreciate it.

[@BitchesCallMeTFree]

The black lady is my hero

[@Pseudonym10]

Hahaha, I love the final two lines... "Because people love having paint thrown on them." "Yes, it''s lovely."

[@dtglck4fkds]

14 years later after your comment I am still enjoying this video!

[@waluigihentailover6926]

Fifteen years!

[@thebannaman2529]

Good for Clifford, he will finally be fully mature once he avenges his fathers death. They grow up so fast 🥺😢

[@eatthenewgod4828]

The Onion is a true journalistic source, they aren't afraid of tackling the hard questions.

[@hengedraws]

“I don’t like those hermit crabs” such a good line

[@andromalius9595]

"I dont like those Hermit Crabs!" I nearly choked on my toothpaste🤣

[@vexivero]

It's lovely!

[@hiilikehiding9758]

The fact that idiots are saying this is fake, pisses me off. I mean who the fuck creates an entire channel and series regarding very serious topics, even about IRAQ. Smh

[@augustlongpre64]

+Ever loving ...hey, are.......are you serious?

[@michaelshannon6134]

Why is Clifford Banes never on his own show?

[@alexsarullo3753]

Michael Shannon it’s called a running gag

[@breakingbacon658]

Alex Sarullo who’s Clifford Banes gagging?!

[@alexsarullo3753]

Adam Hunt you’re speaking to him

[@bones343]

He made one appearance, but he was wearing a perfect mask of Julianna McKannis.

[@LovingPrinceTamayuki]

@@bones343 I saw that one it was hilarious!

[@yueshijoorya601]

Clifford Banes has lots of things to attend to, it seems. And right within the time frame for his job.

[@DarkShadowRage]

Just keep thrown PAINT ON PEOPLE!

[@kwanbuggs288]

DarkShadowRage2 suuuuup bitch

[@gcg8187]

If animals wouldn't wanna be molested THEY SHOULD SPEAK UP!!!

[@blankface_]

"PETA has been fighting for animal rights for decades with little success" lol

[@drabnail777]

Considering how much vegan options there are, id say they made a lot success. and it keeps on going. evolve with the diet or stay as a meat eating savage

[@drabnail777]

@@cg-691 Nothing i said wasnt true. Does veganism offend your feelings?

[@legrandliseurtri7495]

@@drabnail777 Those options didn't appear thanks to PETA.

[@someguy2135]

@@cg-691 Nothing he said wasn't true. People resent and mock vegans (usually) because vegans make them feel guilty for paying people to mistreat and unnecessarily kill innocent, sentient beings for their taste pleasure.

[@someguy2135]

@@legrandliseurtri7495 How do you know? Some people have been converted due to their activities. Others have gone vegan from the activities of others. All we know is that veganism is on the rise.

[@Ashimrak]

Nancy Fachandler is absolutely my FAVORITE member of this team! So classic, serious, and unequivocally hilarious!

[@jameslee-mv2px]

i dont like those hermit crabs!!!

[@sunkcostfallacy2738]

We're gonna build a great net on every coast and make the hermit crabs pay for it. Hermit crabs are taking our jobs. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, and SOME I assume are good crabs. This comment was paid for Sunk Cost Fallacy 2020. "I'm Sunk Cost Fallacy and I approve this message." (if I change my KZbin name, this might not make sense. My name currently is Sunk Cost Fallacy on KZbin, just so you know... ok bye)

[@variedgamer9498]

I love how the old pundit keeps being interrupted when trying to get his point across

[@robez0256]

"Nobody is gonna argue with you on that point" "well some people do..." classic

[@user-lh2hx5xf4e]

I was just watching a video about water buffalos in Chinese and then this appeared in my recommendations xD

[@kdever829]

This is too funny!!! I don't know how you guys don't crack up during the middle of filming these skits.... I would have died laughing as soon as the water buffalo came up...

[@danagray9709]

Lazy dogs and cats, not putting in the work for their freedom! Why, when I told my three cats we would go marching today and tried to hand them the signs, they just glared at me, then ran away from the scary pointy stick! I told them, "You'll never have the right to all you can eat wet food buffets at this rate!"

[@BillionairesArentYourFriends]

'Since 1896' 0:01 wtf I've been watching the onion for years and never noticed. I mean it's common knowledge but it's really great to be reminded of the early days of the onion.

[@mariabarker2036]

I didn't laugh once... I was too afraid I'd miss the next line!

[@GamelanSinarSurya]

“I don’t like those hermit crabs!” LMAO..

[@henryhomstad4461]

This media outlet had been around since 1896, so it is obviously reliable!

[@mikearchibald744]

I can't believe they'd lump water buffalo's in with animals.

[@kierantheo]

Water buffaloes? Water buffaloes? Really! Those bastards don't even brush their teeth. Rights DENIED! hahahaa

[@medfry]

Kieran Theo hey comeon I don't brush my teeth either. *rights stripped from me* O-Oh.

[@elicitwildly]

"Well, animals need to demand their rights to fair animal trials. Then they can wear little robes, dress up like little lawyers...." "Ah, don't forget the little hats!" "Well, some people do argue with that point--" [cut] Pure hilarity.

[@dannycunil5989]

I love how the intro changes for every video dispite the news station being the same

[@zaxtor]

@Arundodonax P2. Is a part of my site when you google that phrase with the " and it explain that who would I save first.

[@GenieBella]

"Just keep throwing paint on people!" "Because people love having paint thrown on them." "Yeah, it's just lovely." xD I love these videos!

[@fadiekay]

I would like to present a case for spiders not having rights. They creep me out. We should continue to segregate spiders in their tiny spider ghetos.

[@kwanbuggs288]

fadiekay suuuuuup bitch

[@doomclasher9287]

The spiders I've been harboring at home aren't gonna be happy with you...

[@Ccornelius5862]

So we all just here 12 years later?

[@heelrarenederlander]

Didn't George Orwell write a book about this

[@tusharpandey858]

Every house should adopt a lion or a Tiger at least. They are not treated equally in sanctuary. Some of them are even lifting their voices up... I tried talking with one of them they were so frustrated that they eat my hand but it's ok now. They are fine...

[@daisyhoward5472]

I agree. To hell with those water buffalo. They bring nothing to the table. Not even water.

[@ThesepretzelsRmakingmethirsty]

I need more from this conversation.

[@TheNightshadePrince]

“ I don’t like those hermit crabs” xD she is hilarious, she is the best one on her, I also love her take on the money pit. We need the onion to come back. :)

[@exiel2740]

I mean if the animals don't want the rights then we should exploit them as much as we can.

[@garypierce7380]

You have to wonder why animals aren't doing more for human rights? Why are they so self-centered, always wanting food or to lick you for your salt?

[@lavamatstudios]

PETA should realize that ALL animals matter. Not just the non-human ones.

[@whade62000]

Look, I'm not a speciesist, but it's about damn time somebody spoke up frankly about the water buffalo problem. If the other animals kicked them out this debate would become a lot simpler.

[@Bmayo27]

"I don't like those hermet-crabs" at 1:36 was the single funniest thing I've ever seen / heard!!

[@Buranazi]

My dog voted yes.

[@kwanbuggs288]

Buranazi hey

[@adr150]

The only thing stopping me from being a car-carring member of PETA is their incessant support of the Water Buffalo. Its ridiculous. loll

[@nighteye4042]

Hello 10 year old commentt

[@kwanbuggs288]

adr150 heyyyyyyy

[@normangetsinger8026]

"I don't like those hermit crabs." lol

[@xxxxyz854]

Dorothy Fox is that, she has the best lines: Little hats, learn to march, hate those hermit crabs, throw paint on people, just lovely.

[@NoodlePowa]

"Because people love having paint thrown on them." "Yes, it's lovely." HAHA

[@tylermoody1130]

Oh don't forget their little hats

[@Shamweeniedog10]

Always that one lady hahhaa

[@bobs2809]

the onion always delivers

[@gebaseer99]

0:25 Just realized that's Tom Shillue from Red Eye on Fox haha

[@TheUnlocked]

This video is simultaneously satire and not satire.

[@BB-ki7he]

Almost like its some kind of metaphor...

[@brettsocc3]

This made me laugh so hard. I love the sarcasm!

[@doomclasher9287]

A neighbor of mine is a water buffalo. They are not happy with this

[@derply5692]

Wow this is exactly my sense of humor

[@cabreram.4734]

0:30 is that Skinner's voice?!

[@Food5Thought]

Wow, great catch, that's really similar

[@ClintonKelly87]

"I don't like them hermit crabs!" XD

[@allbutperfect]

😭😭😭 God, I love The Onion

[@Spect3r.]

"I dont like thous hermit crabs" LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[@cinmhmd894]

your dog always vote YES, it doesnt mater what for.

[@frankishempire2322]

WE DONT NEED NO STINKY BADGERS

[@badarbiter]

@urreadingthishuh ...how tall is the bridge from the ground?

[@senhorengenheiro]

@hectiky well they are around. :D. have fun!

[@hiteshkumar.v461]

Animals did do something for their rights (Of not being eaten) Covid -19 !

[@kevunn101]

I will be dead and in the ground, eaten by maggots before I see a water buffalo with the same rights as I. xD Card carrying member of PETA? xD lmao

[@siyacer]

Oh no, those water buffalos

[@timopper5488]

He’s clearly indicating his bias in favor of fly larvae.

[@deadithink]

@OnlyTheWeakNeedHelp Um... good response.

[@Hotchpotchsoup]

"I don't like those hermit crabs!" Lmao xD

[@cutiepatootie66]

'Just keep throwing paint on people' LOL that is all PETA is good for.

[@martinh1130]

Crabs are people, clams are people, legit or quit!

[@jakepullman4914]

'Clams are stupid.

[@sunkcostfallacy2738]

@@jakepullman4914 Bruh, you are so #youroverparty #cancelled #bigoted

[@imanygirl]

Wow. You are SO funny. SO original. No one has EVER heard that 10 billion times.

[@joemama2499]

Does anybody know the name of the actress that plays Nancy? I can’t find it anywhere 😞

[@abechait2385]

“Just keep throwing paint on people because people love having paint thrown on them”- wise men

[@cecelialenore5576]

animals traditionally have been politically apathetic

[@tyler7549]

Damnit, i was hoping the black lady would make a “peta butter” joke. lol.

[@fashygoy]

"Animals can not speak, so we must give them a voice." LOL wow your words are like the paint of an artist!

[@publikymage]

I love the reasons why Clifford can't host the show.

[@GizmoTheSloth]

God I hate water bugs

[@dekio1214]

@TheGreenerItGets amen brother

[@TheIr0nMike]

@krazycore It would really only work if this was an actual show, but I would love it none the less.