Porkin' Miranda Lambert - Porkin' Across America - Ep. 4

[@slightexag]

I just love Jim's handful of money he gives away for literally anything

[@antonyslack1]

It's the American way?

[@crucified_to_the_world]

"My wife took me off the insurance? No matter, I'll pay with *cash*!"

[@gutenman7112]

It tells another story , Jim have everything but his family . All he have is the show and the pork . The onion keep lore strong .

[@Kolby6661]

if he dosent his wife will take it all

[@ammendum9044]

Money for nothing and pork for free.

[@jeremyw9709]

I would kill to live in an alternate universe where The Onion has their own TV station.

[@Lawgamer411]

Jeremy Wells hopefully by 2137

[@caseychapman5726]

@@Lawgamer411 until then we can keep watching the onion future news

[@cooliobob1274]

Seriously? Have you watched CNN, ABC, FOX or CNBC? They have unbelievable fabricated stories all the time.

[@astrol4b]

I would kill to leave in an alternate universe where today now and the other shows are real.

[@gangstasteve5753]

@@cooliobob1274 The onion is more real.

[@JoshJamesification]

LOL how he's contractually obliged to eat the pork chops

[@azzabouy8243]

'double chop? what happened to the salad?' 'it'd been sittin out for 6 hours we had to throw it away'. lol

[@norgepalm7315]

@@azzabouy8243 haha a quote from the video we all just watched lmao I nearly forgot about the line even though its only been maybe a minute or two at most thanks man for the relaugh

[@jessiec2220]

Hey! Eat your pork chops!

[@AwesomeAddictNo1]

I like how the editors go through the effort of applying subtitles to the life-destroying calls Jim recieves

[@Jerharris90]

Oh, the entire setup is brilliant. Everything about these guys..

[@justinklenk]

Yeah - and in sharp contrast to the zero subtitles/translation of any of the foreign language things being said that are of crucial importance, like the "bones" the guy was trying to tell Jim before he pierced his throat, lmfao - it's so on the nose, it's excruciating...

[@runforitman]

The writers for this series did a fantastic job And the guy who plays Jim Haggerty is a really good actor It’s extremely difficult to make things seem this natural Especially when he’s on the news show Making it feel unscripted is amazing

[@azzabouy8243]

i agree, his look at 5:20 is priceless

[@earthlingjohn]

It would be sad to learn he's *not acting*

[@zaryalace7475]

@@azzabouy8243 or anytime he gets a hankering for some pig's blood or eats the burrito "a la Jim".

[@ComradeMink]

@@azzabouy8243 h

[@3v3rythlngsc0nn3ct3d]

His name is Brad Holbrook in case you want to see what else he has done. He seems to be the guy you want to cast as a newsreader. He played one in the Manchurian Candidate aswell.

[@Martin-tz4kz]

This tells a story of a human's decaying and derailing life better than Breaking Bad ever did.

[@d3lvn]

Martin If you like this kind of comedy, you should watch Review with Forrest MacNeil. Same kind of premise.

[@Sara3346]

@@d3lvn Like a more subtle ''llamas with hats''?

[@raduvlad4429]

you re tasteless

[@sawyernorthrop4078]

Only rivaled by the rickety cricket saga

[@Kaiwala]

What's with all the Breaking Bad hate here huh?

[@erockzz2010]

All this pork has me asking "What is the biggest rock?"

[@johntitor7989]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Those were all my nuerons firing off at the same time

[@kgfes]

In one of the onion videos some guest says the biggest rock on earth is the earth itself

[@siteztream]

All this pig's blood has me saying "I 'm not telling you anything that every goddamn asshole don't already know"

[@TovenDo.O.Video-]

I'm not telling you

[@n9nex19]

Holy shit I just came from that video

[@adog3129]

"if i wanted to put a hit on you you'd be dead by now" cracked me up

[@avyghn5324]

He literally sounded like Frank Underwood.

[@adog3129]

@@avyghn5324 it's always weird finding a random comment with a ton of likes. i should capitalize on my newfound fame. would you buy some adog3129 branded sneakers?

[@r0br33r]

@@adog3129 The zoomer mind virus of thinking a comment with likes equates to literally anything outside of showing how easily impressed you are by mediocrity :L

[@adog3129]

@@r0br33r it's a joke doofus

[@ThirdyMeowy]

they were joking i think

[@matthewkelosky3864]

"Can I get another 50 for gas" Literally had me crying laughing. Writers just the nail on the head.

[@milhousevanhoutan9235]

Jim's Look he gives him is so good, it's like the one moment of connected sanity he has so far. Like "You mother...." then he decides "I have more important shit to deal with HERE FUCKER"

[@JerkDouglas]

Love the light-hearted sped up footage of him getting his niece to rehab. The authentic fluffy editing makes this all the better.

[@jeffreyjdesir]

Why on Earth is this man carrying so much damn cash?

[@Mom-yg1rt]

Jeffrey Desir probably has something to do with him not wanting his identity to be stolen

[@meredithr9824]

He's an idiot, isn't he?

[@hyperx72]

He's white

[@JohnSmith-ox3gy]

hyperx72 Super power I can atest to.

[@RjBenjamin353]

He’s supposed to be the alternate universe version of Matt Laure.

[@nostalgicuniverse9747]

Pork has destroyed this mans life.

[@Semino1eC4]

It's impossible to have a successful marriage when pork is your mistress...

[@garethbaus5471]

I am pretty sure his habit of flushing everything including toothbrushes down the toilet also contributes.

[@Roam-de-route]

@@garethbaus5471 I just realized that this is why his house was flooding

[@theapplechapel]

His life was a fragile resentment filled husk before he left, pork was just the catalyst to end it so he can start a new one as a vampire.

[@wowiekazowiee]

Why we should be vegetarian.

[@a_literal_brick]

He slowly turns to pig blood as his life falls apart

[@frostypaws14]

The ability to act so frustrated and then immediately act cheery right away is so damn impressive. It's almost more impressive seeing an actor do it than seeing it irl. This guy is so talented.

[@arbington]

“Here’s a thousand dollars, don’t ever come back!” “Hey can I get like a $50 for gas?”

[@duncanurquhart5278]

legends only

[@VoidMaid]

"Good pork doesn't have a expatriation date" I'd love to see that written on a restaurant menu somewhere.

[@gherkinpickles9732]

Veronica Smith expatriation date.... oof

[@smilessantana2049]

Fuck🤣

[@ridikipicklepeckinpuff583]

Hahaha- good pork has citizenship in perpetuity 🐷

[@BrownBrown270]

Expiration

[@nosuchthing8]

Another 50 for gas...

[@lonestarcafe]

How do they THINK of this stuff?

[@7brokenribs]

I hope this actor knows how much he’s made us smile.

[@MelancoliaI]

I love how when he gets Hannah out of the crack den it plays the most generic food-oriented reality TV music possible

[@Jessymandias]

I get that it's supposed to be funny. And it is. But it's making me pretty sad too.

[@vhscrust7872]

well he is kinda of an awful person so he deserves, even more because when you look closer everything bad that's happened was his fault

[@elijahmartin5291]

@@vhscrust7872 nah, his wife was incompetent as fuck. and tbh noone would expect an employee to travel and break into your own home.

[@kj-lg8ht]

@@elijahmartin5291 his wife was in a middle with a flood she needed him but he didn't care

[@Eric-Truong]

kj arts Or just... call a plumber?

[@sna1466]

Nyxl yeah, I mean what is he supposed to know about pipes?

[@vonkruel]

A few bumps along the road, but Jim keeps on porkin'. Really inspiring.

[@js2010ish]

True strength

[@frankthetank2550]

Just like any husband, Jim isn't perfect, but I'm glad he was there for his niece when she really needed him. It honestly shows how much of a stand-up guy he is.

[@ElectricHelloKitty]

Frankie Regan But not for his son while he was being mercilessly bullied. The character is a little confusing lol

[@jasperl9290]

The bully died didn't he?

[@nickreyes7976]

I interpreted the niece bit as a stunt Jim pulled in order to make himself look like a family man despite his obvious lack of care for it. The fact that he just dumped her off at the cheapest rehab with some cash and never heard from her again demonstrates the shallowness of that act

[@poogmaster1]

Jim is the best honestly his bitch wife fucked him over while he’s providing for the family

[@Coff1nf33der]

@@nickreyes7976 If it was supposed to be a stunt in the show, they would have made it look way different.

[@Uub141Forever]

That moment when you realize that Jim has more shit going on than any of the people he interviews on Today now.

[@THAT.RANDOM.GUY_]

The most romantic words I've ever heard from this man are "if I wanted to put a hit on you, you'd be dead by now". It shows that he still has a sliver of something for his Ex-wife.

[@MrStevehellboy]

When he see's his Niece on crack. That had me in stitches 😂 "Hu what???!!"

[@tomwallen7271]

How has this been around for over a year and I never heard of it!?!?!?

[@inspectorjavert8443]

How do you think I feel I just found it in 2016

[@cdkumquat4953]

I have just found this as well.

[@gregornike8929]

I also just found it for the first time 2018

[@jakezepeda1267]

Is this where I sign up?

[@shupasopni]

I just found this and Sex House today.

[@austin.sibley]

That music is just the icing on the cake.

[@Spamdrew128]

Throwing money at things is the best way to solve your problems

[@TheAmazingTwist]

He keeps throwing a thousand dollars at every problem!

[@JohnDoe-yj5ng]

The funny part is he's paying the guy in $1 bills!!

[@lazygenie5616]

To be fair most problems would go away if you threw 1000 dollars at it

[@badarts]

only the best soul-injuring comedy from The Onion as usual.

[@SPACEHARICE]

My mother loves these shows Gonna try sneak it in next time I'm back home confuse the shit out of her

[@dadoodfrumcheers.]

Are you still alive godammit come back

[@theeye1176]

What happened with the Mother?!!!

[@RhysGBiv]

Oh my god we need answers

[@AbsoluteGorbSupreme]

Oh my gosh he’s dead

[@howardhamlin5901]

What happened????

[@midnightinaperfectworld]

The wacky rock & roll that plays while they're getting his niece out of the crack den fucking killed me.

[@lucky8533]

"I'll do everything for my family", he says while casually ignoring his exwife drowning in the burst pipes he created.

[@thewwefan57]

Have 1000 dollars and never come back I want to say that some day

[@johnwhite1534]

but can i get a 50 for gas tho?

[@tomlxyz]

To whom tho

[@briantannenbaum8110]

Deep Inside his niece*

[@MsMalik1Dismylife]

This really made me depressed, i even have to convince myself this wasnt real even though I know its satire.

[@wellesradio]

That truck owner was pretty demanding despite not doing much to make his food look appetizing.

[@defenda1]

He had a contract.

[@universalpedagogue]

As a Pittsburgher, having a rundown pork food truck in Bellevue is a very nice and accurate touch. lol

[@startreking]

"It's in my contract. You have to eat it"

[@Denethorable]

That one made me laugh the most so far... the cheery country music playing as he choked down nondescript pig parts had me in stitches xD I haven't seen much satire from America but this is some of the best I've seen anywhere.

[@JPxKillz]

"If I wanted to put a hit out on you, you'd be DEAD by now." Had me wheezing.

[@LoydAvenheart]

Sounds like my dad at the end. "HEY HEY EAT YOUR PORK-CHOPS."

[@zaphodbeeblebrox9225]

Jim’s inspirational marriage has really pulled my family together!

[@colinjacobs176]

"If I wanted to put a hit out on you, you'd be dead" is a good sign of healthy dialogue.

[@LukasPeace]

The packing for rehab montage got a genuine chuckle out of me

[@ethanordorica2808]

Im wondering how this dude had a decent life for 27 years

[@queazocotal]

Pork.

[@HalfbreedTrini]

queazocotal or the lack there of

[@millmill4993]

The show ruined his life

[@soulreaverable]

HalfbreedTrini “Cuz every single story is a story about pork. Both the overflowing cup or the painful lack thereof” - Jim probably

[@caseydpremium3746]

Pigs blood

[@johnmburu3495]

Anyone else craving pig's blood?

[@InsertName125]

I thought they were gonna pork a country singer.

[@EyeoftheU]

"If I wanted to put a hit on you, you'd be dead by now..." He is starting to crack.

[@GregRiceTarantulas]

All filmed in Chicago, this empty lot is at approximately 4759 N Laramie Ave Chicago, Illinois

[@CWINDOWSsystem32]

Makes sense seeing as how The Onion is from Chicago...

[@PoemsRunAground]

korbitr they’re from Wisconsin my aunt lived across the hall from one of the founders

[@arc46789]

Across from the Copernicus Center in Jefferson Park

[@TehSamurai]

This is pitch black. I'm loving it!

[@2beJT]

How does this not have millions of views? People are missing out.

[@uclax2]

more people need to be watching this Essential footage

[@scottdoesntmatter4409]

I laughed at Jim's last line "Oh I can't finish that I'll die."

[@jlarry1]

The Onion, even after all of these years its the gift that keeps on giving.

[@canadiangemstones7636]

“I did make a promise to myself, to eat every part of the pork, except...” OMG lol

[@anonb4632]

Well at least he helped out his niece. He has a good heart.

[@Marconius6]

"And I might even get to enjoy some pork with family." Oh dear... not even past 30 seconds and I know this will end poorly.

[@sleighte]

well you can officially call me a Miranda Lambert fan after this one!! Keep it up Jim!

[@potatofairy4512]

"What are you doing!?" "...smoking crack." Also "oh I can't finish that, I'll die" I freaking lost it.

[@justacup8676]

Yellowed, withered lettuce with blue pork snout..... mmmmmmmmmmmm

[@Darkmatter105]

Wow it gets worse and worse lol.

[@SA1upsb]

"We're a few hours behind but, luckily, good pork doesn't have an expiration date"

[@vonsvin]

this guy is slowly but steadily climbing up to the top of my favorite actors list.

[@MickyNL]

What an amazing actor. This show is heartbreaking.

[@VintageWhiteTerror]

I empathize for Jim, I really do, but I think his passive/aggressiveness is his ultimate tragic flaw.

[@tomlxyz]

It wouldn't be as funny without it

[@pinkdiamonds9137]

Goes to show how much I love the Onion; I’m even watching this series! 🤣

[@Sean.Vosler]

When they leave the house and the music kicks in I lost it

[@Azrael__]

Pig snout can be pretty tasty if cooked and flavoured well. The only problem is the hairs, but if removed or shaved low enough it can be quite a positively interesting texture.

[@DJBuckCallYo]

I look forward to seeing more of Jim's wonderful life!

[@THEEck5000]

I like how the country pork in across the USA theme song still plays when they drive to rehab hahahahhaa

[@SteakMeister20000]

I love how they're so casual about his downward spiral!

[@rachelj16]

This is really where it starts to get particularly dark

[@roddydykes7053]

This is gotta be what it’s like when inner city kids try to get on track with school. Even if they wanted to, everything is falling apart around them constantly, and they have no control over it. I teach in a ghetto school and hear these kind of scenarios all the time

[@sawyernorthrop4078]

You teach kids contractually obligated to eat pork chops?

[@fftepedino]

Omg how many of these they made. I need to watch them all.

[@amandaarcher7919]

I'm afraid he's slowly turning into a vampire, he sure likes the pig blood😁

[@Gdub33]

This has been an absolute pleasure watching. What a great, family friendly little series. Where is season 2?

[@spinblackcircles]

Someone explain to me how the onion made absolutely genius stuff but stopped making web series like this years ago? How is this not the most popular channel on KZbin

[@maythesciencebewithyou]

It just shows how important promotion is. You can have the best show in the world but if no one knows about it, then it won't become a success. It's no surprise that big hollywood movies spend about as much on advertising as making the movie.

[@OpenOceanOnly]

They stopped making good stuff around 2014 or so when they got bought by some other company I believe.

[@qwertyytrewq71]

They became totally woke

[@GNF54]

@@qwertyytrewq71they were also woke

[@brandonobaza8610]

"Here's $1,000" "Can I get $50, for gas?" Yep, that's a crackhead

[@chazchillings3019]

The pig’s blood gets me every time

[@eewilson9835]

I love how this last palate surgery left him so stressed, with the downfall of his relationship with his niece, that he believes Miranda Lambert wants to meet him in a dirt parking lot for a pork salad prepared on a vehicle. Nice rebound.

[@davezak]

this show makes me anxious!

[@TrueMakaveli50]

The lady who plays the wife is so funny i think it might be Tracy but not sure. “Married for 27 years, and you pay a thug, to rough me up and rob the house” the way she said that cracks me up everytime

[@DerpsGW]

Lmao the realization that the guy he gave the money to was the "hit man". Incredible.

[@samr6408]

The upbeat music over it makes it so much better

[@GavinGroth]

“Can I get a $50 for gas” lmao

[@rarler3333]

I wont lie. I choked up a bit at how he handled Hanna.

[@joshiahayash]

the plastic utensils at trixie's bbq were one of many subtly brilliant moments

[@vilanvilan2704]

This series is the best thing i have ever seen

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

I can't decide what's darker, this or the Sex House series.

[@maccliff2115]

That was quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. I couldn’t stop laughing the entire time. It’s funny because it’s true! I could relate with Jim! I feel my life is this episode. More Porkin’ Across America!

[@Gist432]

Love how the wife calls him for help after she basically tore his life apart.

[@akirasaito1551]

She probably suspected something when she called him. I mean, the guy did have the keys...

[@bobobsen]

@Michael Lane really dude

[@alalalala57]

"she basically tore his life apart" Maybe don't be an idiot asshole then your life wouldn't have been torn apart?

[@msunje9862]

She didn’t Tate his life apart he did that with his pork lifestyle. Imagine neglecting your wife and your son that is being severely bullied to go on pork eating trip. He also has the key thus she called him

[@zchris87v80]

I watched this before the last one and realized it was the PA

[@denniswazowski3597]

That rehab upbeat reality show-like montage was fucking hilarious.

[@griffinmcgonagle3272]

A lot of horrible things have happened to Jim but I still can’t get the sound of that bone breaking through his palate out of my head

[@whiteboysushi]

Honestly, this is the real reason it took me until now to rewatch the series

[@zacksnodgrass1204]

I love the music in the background

[@Pizzaparty152]

That pork salad looks very good!

[@Dav-lc8sc]

"well some friend you are!" 😂

[@mickeydazzle]

Watching Jim's life fall apart is pretty entertaining!

[@abreathingcoffin8089]

The Onion really went all out back then.

[@kuibeiguahua]

This guy deserves an Oscar!

[@amthrow7698]

I like the foreshadowing when last episode he asked for pigs blood and said “I’m craving it like crack”

[@EuchridEucrow1]

This is the closest and cheapest option I could find.