The Perfect Programming Language

[@Robin_Goodfellow]

My biggest takeaway from this parody is that new languages often have 3 or so really interesting, possibly useful features, but also about 30 completely deranged features that guarantee its failure

[@SuperRedstoneman]

Programmers are nevrotic maniacs and the cursed stuff shown here proves it

[@Oi-mj6dv]

Based

[@SimGunther]

What were the useful features from DreamBerd: - Quantified lifetimes (by positive numbers, not by time) - Export into different files rather than import modules - Question marks at end of statement for automatic debug info - Regex to narrow down string values - when statements as an event signal The rest is just WHHAAAAA???

[@SuperRedstoneman]

@SimGunther quantified lifetimes is more tedious than scope because you'd have to count lines exporting makes no sense because you'd have to switch file each time you want to pull a function from somewhere (auto imports wouldn't work anymore too) question marks doesn't look like the best solution but yeah easy debug sounds cool regex integrated in the language also sounds cool when is just another way to do events on variable modification writing it as when is confusing I think

[@PoorlyMadeSweater]

lol, image the bugs from refactoring and not realizing there was some lifetime limited variable somewhere up above

[@dzisonline]

"AI does not use AI. Instead, any incomplete code will be auto-emailed to Lu Wilson, who will get back to you with a completed line as soon as possible"

[@rocstar3000]

Bro, I lost so much at it LMFAO

[@TodePond]

thanks for reviewing my language! but please could you please rename your channel to abide by our naming rules many thanks

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

I live my life one infringement at a time

[@arg0x-]

DreamBerdegen

[@QriousKoder]

I mean he did mention DreamBerd :p

[@lukekurlandski7653]

HAHAHA

[@RenderingUser]

Oh It's you!! I was wondering why it looked familiar

[@SimGunther]

A language that transcends languages in that it never once cared for the problems software engineers wanted to solve; however, it still has the cajones to say all this without ONCE mentioning "I took all the things"

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

precise accurate correct bestest

[@Sam-dh7fr]

​@@ThePrimeTimeagenAlmost. It's COJONES

[@nicdgonzalez]

cajones means drawers

[@miguelmahecha88]

@@nicdgonzalez It's been one month. He said what he said. The man has drawers.

[@grape264]

@@nicdgonzalez yea it was kinda funny reading cajones

[@mathijsfrank9268]

So loops are actually possible, just use 2 "reverse!"s and lrt the first one be a boolean that's false the first time you pass it.

[@LiveErrors]

and an itterative exit for the 2nd loop, problem of course is that the loop logic will have to work both ways round

[@yjlom]

//how to do it var var backwards: Bool = false if (backwards { reverse backwards = false else { do_stuff ( if (should_continue ( { backwards = true reverse

[@danych2]

they also can be done easy with signals: var var count = 0! when(count < 20) { //doStuff count++! }

[@FastRomanianGypsies]

That's not a loop. That's ping pong.

[@kezzyhko]

The questions is: if you use reverse! and the call a functi, will it start executing from the end?

[@monkeypaisano2879]

This was just so good; and that section on ownership? gold. pure gold.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

nothing but the best

[@matopuk123]

yeah... "I use DreamBird btw"

[@pashadia]

I take it that "affects all users forever" also persists multiple invocations of the program, even if the actual declaration is changed. Who's the genius now, Tom?

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

agreed

[@hfspace]

indeed that is genius.

[@256k_]

the only way to change is is to change computers

[@Manas-co8wl]

You heard him, agreed is genius

[@Niohimself]

"globally", as in, across the globe. Including all other computers and people coding on them.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

I just learned the author has a YT channel!!!: www.youtube.com/@TodePond?sub_confirmation=1 CHECK AND SUBSCRIBE PLS

[@noid3571]

I stumbled upon TodePond randomly a few days ago and I instantly subscribed! Underrated creator.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

agreed

[@sryx]

Their video "Define Define" is amazing :)

[@Funcijej]

Java was made to be easy for parsing. This is the first technically unparsable language. God bless.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

LL(Infinity) language

[@kuhluhOG]

easy for parsing for computers not humans

[@peterkerj7357]

Isn't there some mathematical proif that perl is unparseable?

[@lucaslinhares4071]

better than javascript

[@ЧингизНабиев-э2г]

To be fair, it's not that big of an accomplishment

[@aquapendulum]

Lifetime scoping by code line, terse debug print syntax with '?' line ending, whitespace-controlled order of execution, regex-constrained string, 'previous' keyword, native HTML templating are some legit cool features.

[@nandoflorestan]

Python and JS also have lifetime scoping inasmuch as they have del and delete.

[@CHR1SZ7]

The problem with regex-constrained string is that if you’re passing data from outside you can’t know at compile time whether the string is valid, and anything else should use something like an enum or a trait rather than a string anyway

[@shanahjrsuping7344]

21:02 😂😂he missed the part about incomplete code being emailed to Lu Wilson. What a lanaguge!

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

dangit! i missed that? that is good

[@hbobenicio]

This is awesome! The sad part about it is that I actually had to write a parser for a real programming language which literally doesn't define the decimal separator for floats... it's actually an environment parameter so that every sysadmin can pick whatever they trip about (for example, regionalization reasons) and for the source code to be compilable it must conform to what the sysadmin dictates. Of course multiple environments on the same organization may have different values. this by definition then makes your code not portable between different regionalizations (or different-tast sysadmins). This idea is so perfect and awesome that I see why DreamBeard got the idea of the variable currency thingy... That language also has the "noop" instruction thingy too. It just uses another name for it, but whatever...

[@underscore.]

tf

[@weakspirit_]

this is perfect for a Halloween horror story

[@lua_amaterasu]

DreamBerd creator actually have an insanely good KZbin channel called TodePond

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

really?

[@le_moski]

​@@ThePrimeTimeagenyeah his vids are pretty chill, kinda trippy sometimes

[@MarcCastellsBallesta]

Going there right now!

[@ManiacalMobius]

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time holy moly

[@hsider]

Same here, this is funny as sh** 😂 got me on several occasions 😂😂

[@AScribblingTurtle]

This language is ingenios! The Author must be a pupil of Tom.

[@deado7282]

Can't compete with JDSL because TOM is a GENIUS!

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

well JDSL isn't just perfect, its divine

[@Muaahaa]

I used js `with` several years ago for a CodeWars kata that required you to calculate the area of the intersection of two circles but the kicker was that the solution needed to be under a small character limit. Never used or heard of it again since then (until now, ofc).

[@HerrDoktorWeberMD]

I just randomly tripped over this channel while looking into stuff for a Rust software renderer project, I had no idea I'd wind up finding a channel that makes programming so genuinely entertaining. I'm still brand new to software development (learned Java in high school, didn't code at all for over 10 years, learned Rust 'cause it was shiny and new and now I'm coding a game from scratch) but it's so easy to be introduced to new concepts and dig up explanations for them while having a laugh on this channel. Subscribed.

[@nekoill]

This language is the best meme of 2023, oh my god 😸 Starting array indexing at -1 is just brilliant 😹

[@GiovanniCKC]

DreamBerd.... probably the best 20 minutes of my life right there lol. Absolutely fabulous.

[@rumplstiltztinkerstein]

Definitely the programming language of all time.

[@amdenis]

Not sure why so many people think Dreamberd is satire. I have been doing critical systems AI development for years, and I am going to port everything to Dreamberd! I see no downsides.

[@oddmerlin9797]

who ever wrote the parser for this is a genius

[@oddmerlin9797]

im also terrified of them

[@zxuiji]

3:24, that one's not too bad an idea, for example that particular index 0.5 could mean "take 50% of element 0 and (100% - 50%) of element 1 and add them together, give me the result"

[@Kycilak]

Ou could use different types of parantheses to use different interpolation. [] for linear, for spline and such XD

[@wumwum42]

The more I think about it, im starting to like the idea of reverse indentation. This might actually be easier to read than non-inverse ones. Though unless its automated probably pure hell when writing

[@KayOScode]

You can legally do that in most languages, it’s just not considered good practice because it’s not clear which scope the code belongs to

[@bujitself]

@@KayOScode It is clear, just in negative

[@KayOScode]

@@bujitself so then which indent does your code start at? If they’re all going backwards, maybe, but you’d have to write code starting in the middle of your monitor

[@FlanGrande]

@@KayOScode You start writing the code from inside out

[@sidharthmanohar7951]

middle out?

[@ShiloBuff]

As funny as this is, they are onto something with a "few" of these features. I would love a language that is truly perfect. Also, I love the idea of it being insanely flexible. Although it only sounds good in theory because in reality you want to be consistent as possible as a developer.

[@TheFGrox]

The "delete delete!" statement is the way to Nirvana. I've actually run that line in production when nothing has been left to delete. The customer complained that nothing was working anymore. They aren't aware that in reality that was the goal. The machine has reached a state of freedom from suffering and from restart as the weaving of activity of the processor had ceased. The empty state of the memory assigned to the program invites everyone to experience the state of non-state. The aversion against my work, the greed, and the ignorance don't let the customer appreciate the quenching of the activities of the worldly mind that lead to the liberation from samsara.

[@ahmedkaram3829]

wow i need ur twitrer acc to follow u

[@TheFGrox]

@@ahmedkaram3829 "delete twitter!". Let go of any worldly attachment.

[@Kevinjimtheone]

I honestly laughed so much with this one, that I had to pause multiple times to catch my breath. Absolutely incredible!

[@eddyxide]

const const const gonna solve all my problems

[@BozCoding]

I love the look and some of the concepts of this language, and they say that there's no loops, but 'reverse!' allows you do do loops :D so that's super neat.

[@DFX2KX]

indeed, and when() allows you to do loops as well.

[@Renni-kg6vf]

When is just a global do while loop...@@DFX2KX

[@DreanPetruza]

10:25 PHP actually used this approach of no quotes string literal, in the first versions any token that wasn't a defined constant was assumed to be a string literal and was output verbatim.

[@kallekula84]

The Union inverse and the " ' hello world " ' tripple quote had me dying!! :D

[@corlaez]

Kotlin has with, extension functions and is working on context receivers which all build upon a similar concept as the JS with. And due to the strongly typed nature of Kotlin, it is actually a extremely useful set of features.

[@CHR1SZ7]

In Scala they’ve had implicit parameters for ages and in the same way, it’s like the js “with” but because the language is strongly typed it’s a bit less insane because you can make it a lot more obvious what you’re going to get

[@ahuman32478]

Didn't even notice that this video was 23 minutes long because I was too busy admiring what is arguably the highest-effort shitpost of all time

[@ЧингизНабиев-э2г]

Prime, it's time to write a compiler for this piece of art ;D

[@aaronspeedy7780]

Someone is! The creator had a call with someone who was!

[@CielMC]

const const const is different from const const as it said, it will affect all users globally forever, so once you have declared a variable called, say foo, nobody else can declare that same foo again, it will all refer to the foo you declared

[@Jmcgee1125]

1:41 Constant pointer to variable data and/or variable pointer to constant data is a C feature and is very nice. Sure, you can always cast the const out, but that's on you. 6:29 Nah, not really. It's a maintainability nightmare. For something that lasts literally 2 lines it's not so bad, but imagine it's 10, or 20. You go to change something in between and have to check everything up the function to see if a lifetime needs to be extended. If only we could explicitly specify when the end of lifetime should be at the closing point, maybe with some kind of stack frame or `free()` call. 9:20 "Yeah" "sure" "ok" "fine" "I guess" "WHAT" 13:59 T R U E 17:32 I actually want to see that `reverse` in a programming game like Exapunks. Looks fun.

[@leovin00]

This video has been very informative. I learned about the “with” keyword in Javascript and am now terrified that such evil lurks among us

[@axelfoley133]

The irony of Primeagen malfunctioning at the function section.

[@wumwum42]

*the ucin section

[@BlazingMagpie]

So, is DreamBerd Foundation owned by DreamBerd Foundation?

[@wumwum42]

No, but the DreamNotBird fundation is.

[@zenshade2000]

Tears running down my checks through every minute of this. Almost as good as watching Spinal Tap the first time.

[@PomuLeafEveryday]

I know it's a parody, but that question mark debugging thing sounds actually useful. So does the forced garbage collection after a certain amount of lines.

[@kellybmackenzie]

The "-3 spaces are also allowed" broke me completely LOL, amazing 10/10

[@RicardoSilva-hk2er]

this language is the perfect example of wanting to "fuck around" with people but not wanting to be too obvious

[@ZenonLite]

finally, a language that gives c# a run for its money…

[@envo2199]

what do you mean?

[@olivierginiaux7466]

C# is one of the best languages out there

[@envo2199]

@@olivierginiaux7466 facts

[@SimGunther]

It does give PHP a run for its $$$

[@TheEkkas]

I'm halfway in and need a break to 'process' a bit, but some standouts for me so far : 1) Boolean = True/False/Maybe just quietly created quantum-computing-as-a-service, + 1.5bit storage efficiency in itself could change the storage landscape if SSD firmware starts using this... 2) Negative indentation: Image the possibilities of adding data or code in the previously unused negative spaces. Will it work for RTL languages/editors as well? 3) Numbers as variables: The ability to, with a one-liner, assign a value to a number, could be a watershed moment or very dangerous in the wrong hands. Giving developers the ability to reassign reality itself, raises ethical red flags. What if AI 'learn to code' with this!?!? 4) String interpolation: Has a 'see eye aye' vibe to it, I see the utility, but to include currency with a name raises some privacy eyebrows... PS: This is information overload for one video, it should have been a 3-part series.

[@MarcCastellsBallesta]

Lol! I laughed so hard and so many times in this video! Thanks Prime and thanks DreamBird foundation!

[@krunalakbari5432]

i can't take it anymore. how can one md file make me lough for 1 hour.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

it just ... happens

[@zhafran7076]

yea, using a floating numbers for indexing, it will be great

[@legendrags]

When a language has extremely amazing features and still manages to disappoint...

[@spicynoodle7419]

const void const* const foo = malloc(0) this can't be edited or reassigned they just moved all the consts to the front const const const foo = ...

[@scottiedoesno]

This is top tier meming and I love it

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

agreed

[@SelfCheckout]

WhenWillProgrammersStopMakingDecisionsForOurSocietyAndJustLeaveUsAloneAlsoHackerNewsIsAVileWebsite is such a great programming language

[@zahawolfe]

I haven’t laughed this hard over something programming related since college

[@kevinkkirimii]

With MAYBE boolean and WHEN keyword, this language set to work well in quantum computing.

[@Thect]

Now the problem is, what should I learn for my FAANG interview, JDSL? or DreamBerd?

[@garrettmandujano2996]

Kinda reminds me of JDSL, where Tom put a “:)” after every statement

[@Vegalith]

0:52 My first programming language was a BASIC emulator for the Nintendo DS called “SmileBasic” (there’s a switch version available too!) and it had some cursed behavior, such as line breaks working as close parentheses, and ‘?’ being a substitute for print, so a hello world could look like: ?”Hello World It had a toggle for strict variable declarations, if disabled (the default behavior) you didn’t even have to declare a variable, you’d just use it [start of program] value = “Hello World ?value

[@jvcmarc]

Primeagen and TodePond crossover would be dope

[@Lampe2020]

It's a bad idea to eat bread while watching a funny video, I just had to cough from all the laughing and spat a fountain of bread crumbs across my desk (the bread I eat is extremely hard, so it falls apart to crumbs when chewed instead of becoming a smooth paste), right at a bunch of cables where the crumbs disappeared between…

[@GM-Aukrun]

Contributing: ' If you are an influencer, streamer, or content-creator... you must not skip this section during your read-through. Contributions are welcomed to DreamBerd 3! The most helpful way you can help is by donating to the Stonewall charity. This will help to prevent the DreamBerd 3 creator from losing their human rights, allowing maintenance of the project to continue. Note: The contributing guide also helps to shake off unwanted fans of the project.'

[@isavenewspapers8890]

❤

[@grmpf]

And he skipped over it…

[@AndreGreeff]

FYI: I just checked the DreamBerd repo now, and it's still growing... 169 commits in this video, 405 commits as of me writing this comment, of which the last was a mere 2 hours ago. lmao. this is just too good... >.< also, it's almost at 10k stars already...

[@alphabasic1759]

Someone was on LSD when they created this language.

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

likely

[@gordahnculous]

so glad i recommended this on the subreddit, knew this would be a fire language 🔥

[@MasterHigure]

Reminds me of "The Worst Programming Language Ever - Mark Rendle - NDC Oslo 2021", which is a great talk.

[@freeideas]

"Type annotations don't do anything, but they help some people to feel more comfortable". Python.

[@guillobuteler]

I am so on board with this you guys. Got a really good perspective for it, to take it all the way. Thanks!

[@TianyuQi]

3:00 using the building analogy, the lowest floor is a basement, makes perfect sense(((

[@hacktor_92]

thanks for showing me dreamberd language. now we're all rewriting our ENTIRE 12.5k+ projects in it

[@kuklama0706]

I actually needed negative indexes in arrays to describe "previous, this, next" more naturally. Ended up casting negative index to byte and so using only 3 out of 255 array cells.

[@IARRCSim]

10:06 many Logo interpreters treat some values like strings even without quotes. print [hello world] works in FMSLogo. Don't confuse the brackets with quotes. The square brackets mean that it is a list. Without quotes, hello and world are separate elements of a list of strings so the string is expressed without any quotes, brackets, or anything else. You need to know more contextual information such as the fact it is in a data list to know the unquoted hello is a string vs a command or procedure call. It gets confusing since instruction lists are also often in square brackets and an unquoted string-ish looking value in an instruction list generally means a command or procedure name. A less troublesome but related part of the Logo language is that strings are indicated with only 1 quote generally, if a quote is needed at all. The quote marks the start of a string literal and is ended by the first whitespace after that quote. Some Logo interpreters support a more familiar notation where pairs of apostrophes wrap a string literal but that seems quite rare from the many Logo interpreters I read about.

[@KvapuJanjalia]

"any number of quotes you want" - that is an actual C# feature.

[@xevento8682]

3 State booleans would have to be stored in 1.58496250072 Bits. 2^1 is 2 (so a 2-state boolean can be stored in one bit) with 2 bits you can represent 4 states. To find the correct bits for 3 states we solve 2^x = 3, which is log_2(3) = 1.58496250072

[@powerfist1340]

I have no idea how to code whatsoever, but youtube keeps recommending you to me and i find the content mildly entertaining.

[@manawa3832]

Lean 4 is as close to perfect as we have currently for the perfect language. But I love how every language "innovation" is just c or javascript with slightly different syntax. No new ways to prevent bugs or improve performance or increase productivity. Just a reskin of existing languages.

[@MH_VOID]

what's so good about it compared to e.g. Rust?

[@manawa3832]

@@MH_VOID Dependent types. Proper linear types and not just pseudo affine types in Rust. TCO for recursion. Leanest syntax I've seen in any language supporting this many features. A full blown theorem prover that works in conjunction with regular executing code. Tooling of lean 4 is heavily inspired by the great ecosystem that Rust enjoys. It's got a dependency manager similar to cargo and macros and code generators similar to many you would find in Rust. It's not ready for prime time and is an experimental step after lean 3. But the best thing about the language is that it develops from one version to the next with no backwards compatibility baggage of previous versions. They are trying to make a great language, not support the companies that pay for it and demand their legacy systems prevent the language from fixing old problems and throwing out old stuff. Thus it's a natural consequence that lean 5 will be a true evolution from what already is an excellent language.

[@TheChillBison]

This was the laugh I needed after two days of extremely stupid work that should have taken 10 seconds.

[@demolazer]

The exclamation point at the end of every line would annoy the hell out of me. I don't want my code to shout at me.

[@michawhite7613]

5:42 I think they stole this feature from a programming language called Icon, which was a successor to the SNOBOL languages. I made a Rust library to implement a lot of Icon's features, but I still don't know how to handle this one

[@TejAgarwal]

This kind of humor sense is what keeps a true programmer single.

[@Celastrous]

Todepond is the name of the authors YT channel by the way

[@nanonkay5669]

They need a way to make const const const variables constant

[@WarrenBuffering-kj7us]

this is my favorite educational channel

[@ThePrimeTimeagen]

are there other channels?

[@WarrenBuffering-kj7us]

@@ThePrimeTimeagen no, this is only channel

[@aloysiuskurnia7643]

This language needs a wholeass probabilistic turing machine to be parsed

[@shioli3927]

The with thing is the same as kotlin use pretty much. It´s not that bad if you need to call a bajliion methods on a thing that isn´t a builder pattern that you got from another method call or method call chain. The only weird thing is that the javascript proposal seems to magically imply the variable to every function call in the block.

[@vinci-g]

never laughed so hard at `const const 5 = 4!` LMAO

[@erwinkonopka7071]

I can commit so many programing war crimes with this. Also: I'm glad that Intercall's spirit lives on.

[@11clocky]

Pretty much every section can be summarized as, “Huh, that’s kind of an interesting feature actually- oh godammit”

[@JackDespero]

"This is a language worse than JS!" Please, do not be this closed minded. You haven't even tried it yet and you are already making such bold statements.

[@wcrb15]

I really needed a good chuckle generator today. This was great.

[@lilacdoe7945]

We need... Direct memory access + Automated memory sizing + Automated scope closure of functions + Declarative SQL-like commands + File based implicit object for access control + Public by default with automated pointer dereferencing + Manual overrides for explicit control of intrafile variables + Automated error reporting with caller, problem variable, threads, and current relevant state That is the perfect language and I call her Jnny. Making her is a pain in the ass. But it'd be worth it. Almost all object initializations could be handled by the serializer/deserializer before compilation.

[@Renni-kg6vf]

I can only imagine that const const const actually changes the dreamberd binary so that that variable is immutable over all dreamberd compiled files.

[@dovos8572]

godot actually has the "when" feature. you can do stuff like var maxHealth : int = 100 var health : int = 12 : set(value): health = clampi(value, 0 , maxHealth) this code basically means that the health will be clamped between 0 and maxHealth regardless to what you try to set it to, so health = 1000 will set health to 100 instead because maxHealth is 100

[@the_cheese_cultist]

this is just a property with a custom setter. C# has this.

[@G4GBill]

Imagine the spaghettis code you could write, it would be like spaghetti all chopped up.

[@iliya-malecki]

with statement is literally just R but with less half-assed reflection that reading text of statements gives you. With both "with" and {...}.__text__ you will literally get the level of cursedness that R provides

[@matthewgiallourakis7645]

Kotlin is built around the concept of `with`. I love it.

[@S1D94]

9:30 reminds me of VimL, where as long as an identifier is unique to a command you can type the smallest unique part (from left to right though). so for "function" you could do "func" or "fun" but not "union". I don't write VimL anymore.

[@canadiannomad4088]

Now I want a transpiler to convert my rust code to this obviously superior language.

[@TVfen]

Ok, I have to admit, when you were making comments about the language and so on... I agreed with some of the comments, but disagreed with some of the other comments. Some things sounded kind of funny, but that was just it! Until ... the moment you enumerated the array indexes... "negative 1, zero, point five..." OMG I HAD HUGE LAUGH AT THAT!!! I really needed that!!!