Should I Buy All Of My Kids A House?

[@frankcb11]

Looking beyond the financial decisions she has to make. I love the way she looks at her (their) life. She still says we and deeply loves her husband. Moving like they are still together. It’s a beautiful thing.

[@LawrenceTimme]

Yeah I noticed she said we as well. 😢

[@Forwardoperationbase]

Good catch.

[@JamesKjones-n7r]

I am 53 and retired at 50. 1 thing I did do to retire early was to get out of the 401K and IRA programs. Bought rental real-estate and I am now a Limited Partner in about 1500+ units from collabrative efforts in the fund my estate planner has me invested in. I do not work.

[@CharlesT.Foster]

I am 53 and retired at 50. 1 thing I did do to retire early was to get out of the 401K and IRA programs. Bought rental real-estate and I am now a Limited Partner in about 1500+ units from collabrative efforts in the fund my estate planner has me invested in. I do not work.

[@heatherj-o5j]

My wife and I live off of our 401K. We don't work. I recommend highly to everyone to build your 401K or Roth IRA's as an alternate revenue stream in retirement to your Social Security. An observation on 401K's is when it gets over 300K it starts to accelerate. When you get over 500K it can really accelerate as the stock market grows.

[@pauline-o2q]

If I may ask, as in withdrew all of the money from the 401K and IRA programs? If so, what was your strategy behind that decision? Thank you.

[@heatherj-o5j]

Stacy Lynn Staples is the licensed advisor I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment.

[@JasonB.Chisolm]

She appears to be a true authority in her profession with over two decades of experience. I looked her up on the internet and skimmed through her site, very professional. already sent her an inquiry hoping for a response soon.

[@TheGoldenboyo]

My dad did similar thing for me. He bought me a house but said it was still his and that he would let me live there but only charge me half rent. After a few years of seeing I was looking after it and making regular payments, he asked to see my finances. When he saw I was doing ok, he then told me the house was actually mine and gave me all the rent money back (which he had been putting into high interest account.) Was an amazing moment and I feel like I'm way more responsible and appreciative now than if he would've just given me the house outright.

[@alaska49girl]

MUST BE NICE

[@moonbuni59]

Smart dad

[@lynnstrand9367]

I love this story!

[@JohnFioravanti]

Thanks for the idea. I’m in a similar position as a son. Sounds wise.

[@Tchild2]

Doing the same thing myself with two of my kids. I want them to learn the responsibility of paying the mortgage and we are tracking both mine and their payments to the house to record ownership percentages...but my ownership will be transfered over as a gift in the future. Their money isn't going into saving, but towards the principal of the home.

[@tb7125]

We need more stories like this about business owners. Broadcast them loudly

[@missjane782]

Being widowed myself I would say not to make any big decisions right now. Dave is right, give themselves some grieving space.

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

100 percent. Things are different now and she may have additional expenses she did not have when hubby alive. She will be changing into socializing differently …and in each area of life will not be the same.

[@richardgomez5008]

I disagree with his advice. In the end her children will receive everything. Everyone would benefit with financial gift from a loved one. Just keep enjoying your money and have funeral arrangements in place paid.

[@JustLIkerapunzel]

@@richardgomez5008I do agree with her better giving herself some time to grief before making such big decisions. I do agree that in the end she won't take the money to the grave so the one who's not finqncially responsible will have to figure things out whichever way, wether she's still alive to see it or not. But I don't think just so short after her husband / their dad passed it's the right moment to pass down this much of their shared wealth in this manner. It would be different if one of them would be going into a huge student load (like for medical school or alike), and be in need of the money NOW to be set up much better in life in the longrun. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. I'd also say wait a year more to grief and not associate this investment with the death of her husband / the dad. Financially it won't make THIS MUCH of a difference in the kids lifes to wait this long

[@WVgrl59]

Yes

[@chodge8366]

She’s obviously hurting after her loss. She feels giving her kids this gift with the help of their father is part of the grieving process.

[@zevlove612]

But this is what she and dad had been thinking she is right to want them to inherit something from Dads labor

[@ChintanCG]

Whatever she decides she should give them equal amount of money. Location should not be a factor

[@xJayhawkFANx]

Agreed

[@marycarricaburu3683]

Yep

[@angelmyers869]

I agree.

[@justinec6781]

Yes

[@joebidon7165]

You must be the kid in the lower cost area!

[@phatmac5988]

I worked with a kid that inherited 300k from his grandfather but it said in the will he could only use it to buy a house. Three years later he lost the house. Being generous doesn’t make people smarter. When you give a gift you have to either make sure they are responsible enough to handle it or be willing to accept they might lose it all through ignorance.

[@karilyons1045]

Agree.

[@el_duderino_man]

I don't see how that is possible. If he bought a house, 3 years later it would have been worth more money. Perhaps he sold it for $400,000? Did he not get insurance then have a house fire?

[@thedappercook]

Sounds like bollocks. Give us more insight and context please. You don't just lose a house hahaha

[@el_duderino_man]

@@thedappercook maybe he put it as a down payment for a million dollar house and could not make the payments. His grandfather gave him an almost failsafe inheritance and he blew it some how.

[@thedappercook]

@@el_duderino_man so you don't actually know? Hearsay is dangerous bro. Putting down $300k on a million dollar home means he would have had a $700k loan. The monthly repayments depending on the rate you get wouldn't have being crippling.

[@edb484]

I like this idea better than paying for a kid education. I know someone that did. He told his kid to start at community college, transfer to University and pay their own college and bought them their 1st house instead

[@dialac1]

I think paying college fees is better so they can start out with a clean slate and grind to make money to buy their own house

[@trg808]

This would be a huge incentive to stay on track and get the degree done.

[@Ovulations]

I did this on my own. Wish my parents would reward me with a house

[@stevemyopinion423]

the kids are in there 30s

[@drn13355]

College gave me my career and I never had a handout. I don't get this call at all.

[@ianmowbray3284]

Lol my dad didn’t even pay for my driving lessons 😂

[@vickimerritt2832]

Are you driving yet? Your comment gave me a chuckle, as I as a parent of 4 remember being that poor. They did learn to drive and bought their own cars and became successful in spite of their parents.😅

[@auburnanger6679]

Me neither haha but it doesn't get me down. I paid for all my cars in cash, hockey etc.

[@LeandroMedinaRodriguez-s2r]

Teach the kids to fight and survive is what good parents do.

[@thispersonrighthere9024]

and if you took care of him in his old age, then you are a generous fool.

[@Mary-t2u]

Good

[@adamseidel9780]

Oh man, 57, she is way to young to be giving away this percentage of her worth. And too emotional, understandably, with her husband’s recent passing. Totally agree that the best path is slowing down and working with a professional planner on all of this to handle her funds, manage tax implications, and set up a plan for the irresponsible kids to get their finances in order so they can get a mortgage.

[@MrMlbfan6]

I’m sure she has more money than what she said

[@youngswoll3]

@carlos ortiz I’m sure you have no idea what you’re talking about

[@MrMlbfan6]

@@youngswoll3 not everyone that calls says the whole story o everything they owed etc

[@spankynater4242]

I don’t know about that. The vast majority of people go into retirement with far less than $1.5 million. She would be fine. If her lifestyle was appropriate.

[@barbieblue3336]

Exactly

[@di74100]

If she doesn't trust her kids enough to put the houses in their names, that should tell her it's a bad idea. My house is currently in contract to sell and I was amazed at how many offers I received from parents wanting to buy the house for their kid. My house is not cheap. I picked buyers who worked hard and saved. I wanted to be sure it went to people who would love and take care of it rather than someone who felt entitled.

[@oshkoshbegone]

kids are gonna get the money eventually... but i would agree to do a large down payment for each kid. They should all have a mortgage.... its work that they need

[@di74100]

@D While I received several offers from brokers, I opted not to accept their offers but instead sell it to a family. You are correct, I too had concerns that the house would go to kids who would not take care of the property so I accepted a slightly lower offer to a family who was putting half down and held stable jobs. I did not get to meet the buyers but did see their bank account and had to rely on the information provided by their realtor.

[@karenlubeck3294]

@@oshkoshbegone, Agreed, as long as each child is in good financial shape and making enough money to cover all the expenses that go with owning a home. The kids each have to understand that the down payment is a gift to help them buy a home but it doesn't mean they can access the National Bank of Mom whenever they need extra help. They need to get some of their own money put back as a cushion to cover repairs and emergencies too. She could wait a year or two years to let them get prepared for owning a home. She would be able to leave an inheritance when she passes so each child gets a boost for their retirement.

[@ElizabethHenderson-s4e]

😂 my parents bought my home for me and my husband 🤷🏼‍♀️ 50 thousand over the asking price and we are forever grateful for that.

[@karenlubeck3294]

@@ElizabethHenderson-s4e So glad you appreciated the generous gift from your parent. I know my daughter would appreciate it too.

[@VictoriaBCTy]

In my mind, the kids should be given the same amount regardless of the price of their houses.

[@bpaige12]

Agree they have to have skin in the game to appreciate it

[@ducnguyen-iv9px]

Exactly! No hard feeling between them.

[@michaelkensington2494]

No. They should feel lucky to get a house a free.

[@pnwflipper2089]

If she’s paying for them 100% then I could see why she would want to buy them houses that were equal in size not dollar value.

[@traveler320ak7]

Yes. I agree.

[@kellyinfanger9192]

The problem with the trust fund idea is: how will they ever develop pride of ownership? My experience is that a home requires a serious dedication to maintenance.

[@9liveslisa]

My Dad bought a small modest house for me when we reunited after many years apart. He charged me a reasonable rent for the house and fixed anything major that went wrong like a new roof etc. and he said it was good for us both because it was a tax write-off for him and he knew I was safe. Then after he passed away, the house was left to me completely free and clear. That's an option too. Dave is right when he doesn't want the mother to deplete her savings so much that it becomes worrisome for her. I've had friends who doted on their children so much that it severely affected their retirement security. And were the kids grateful? Not really. They just took and took and took. You certainly don't want to get into that situation.

[@spankynater4242]

Deleting your savings by half and still having $1.5 million is not exactly a Crisis. She would be fine with $1.5 million in cash.

[@tyroneshoelaces9742]

@@spankynater4242 that's what I'm thinking.

[@phillip3165]

I have to agree. Maybe purchase the houses as part of a will and trust so that it belongs to her, but they will inherit the houses respectively when that time comes. I wouldn’t want to buy them houses outright either.

[@eileenwatt8283]

@@spankynater4242 not in this economic climate. Medical bills could wipe that out in 14 days if she ever has a medical catastrophe.

[@spankynater4242]

@@eileenwatt8283 let’s go Brandon

[@elizabethblane201]

I say no. Giving your kids too much cripples their will and initiative. Part of your children's success in life comes from allowing them to go through their muscle-building struggles that build their confidence and resilience. OK to help with with down payment or something similar, but you will rob them of their victory and learning if you just buy it for them. Plus, doing that creates an expectation on their part that you will continue to dump money on them. I've seen it happen!

[@spankynater4242]

Best comment I’ve seen here.👋🏻

[@serioushamster]

If you look at some of the greatest people in history, almost all of them inherited something from their parents. If you think your kids will waste the money you gave them then you have failed as a parent.

[@mikewright2858]

@@serioushamster I guess that depends on your definition of "greatest" ... it's a LOT easier to be "great" if you're rich. If you want to impress me, do something with nothing and BECOME rich.

[@Malyal4053]

I totally agree..

[@elizabethblane201]

@@serioushamster What my kids inherited from me was work ethic and persistence and it allows them to do it for themselves. I will likely give them a down payment which will boost their efforts, but I don't want them to become dependent. Who are these "great people" you mention, and what did they inherit that made them great?

[@nocciolina]

Would make the gifts in the same amount regardless of where they live. It was weird that she said that the one in MN would get less. She should also get an estate planning attorney and tax expert.

[@marycarricaburu3683]

a recipe for hard feelings.

[@BasicBeachCommunity1]

Why?

[@katemiller7874]

Exactly right

[@pnwflipper2089]

I’m just guessing here but she might be thinking she would buy the same size house for all three kids- and the prices vary by location

[@JamesOliverr7s]

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[@MatthewAidan4ns]

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[@SebastianNoah5e]

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[@JosephGodwill9h]

I would love an introduction to an adviser who can help me strengthen my financial roots.

[@SebastianNoah5e]

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[@JosephGodwill9h]

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[@CallMeDr.T.]

Money is tricky. People change character when it comes to money. Very interesting conversations.

[@tmusa2002]

If you have to police a gift that is this big and took you years to accumulate and you’re worried that it could get squandered, do not give any money away.

[@barbieblue3336]

Yes. She shouldn't help them now

[@TR0LLREIGN]

Yeah, it's much better if your children despise you and only pretend to like you when you meet because they cannot wait for you to die to finally get some of that inheritance.

[@pnwflipper2089]

Yes, or if she does want to help them get into a house she could likely easily afford to give them each a down payment first a house whose monthly mortgage payment they could afford.

[@wesjimez2941]

Give each kid 200k towards the down payment. If you want to give them more wait until later

[@blackworldtraveler3711]

Yup. Let the rest grow.

[@markallenrandle]

Unless they are terrible with money and lose the house to foreclosure and now their “gift” is gone forever.

[@suen5006]

@@markallenrandle yes, maybe help them with rent for now maybe until they improve their finances.

[@wesjimez2941]

@Dementia Joe I love the name. I always refer to him as that.

[@vkchaitanya2003]

Yes that’s how my parents did it for my sister. They have her 25% of the total cost

[@wellsbibo6175]

Give each kid enough for 20% down payment to clear mortgage insurance, save or invest the rest for grandkids.

[@JustNobodySpecial-0]

This makes more sense to me.

[@DebraJohnson]

I agree with this. They will inherit the rest when she is gone but for now she still has to live.

[@Joenzinator]

I like this idea too. But let's remember, the "kids" are 34-38 years old, and none of them have been able to save up for a house? I'm seeing red flags all over this.

[@elizabethblane201]

@@Joenzinator Agreed. What have THEY been doing all this time?

[@zunedog31]

PMI isn't as big a deal as it used to me. mine is like $75/mo

[@raallen1468]

Mom!!!! Sit on your money!!! If you give away most of your assets, "now" you could end up broke if you live 30 more years. The cost of living has become insane & growing worse.

[@pnwflipper2089]

And the cost of long term care!

[@DavidDsvidson]

She’s got 3 million… that’s $150k per year guaranteed. Mom is doing quite alright. When she dies the government is going to take half that cash. She should definitely help her kids as best she can given the situation

[@el_duderino_man]

​@@DavidDsvidson Could she put the kids on her bank accounts so they are joint owners of the cash? Then there is no death tax. Then have one small account in her name only.

[@user-roadwander]

@@DavidDsvidson No. Read up on inheritance strategies.

[@haroldgarling1063]

@@DavidDsvidsonGood point, Brother.

[@jimhandler1129]

Not sure how good it is to "give" any of your kids that much. Working hard and learning to budget and deal with expenses / a mortgage and paying off your own house is a great accomplishment that they should experience.

[@drinkmorewater8791]

imagine comparing nowadays to 30+ years ago

[@carmelaminor8177]

Quite honestly, very few adult children can understand and appreciate what is done for them. Let them learn the skills they need to make it on their own.

[@imveryhungry112]

yeah and when the money comes easy they think theyre better than other people.

[@Excalibur2]

Everyone has to start somewhere and learn, but a good parent will have open and honest discussions on it and how to get them there. Most of us don't appreciate what we have until we're older and have more time to think about it all.

[@denniswilhelm1316]

I don’t care if I’m worth 20 million dollars, you do this and it will not turn out well. By chance, could they just maybe do it on their own? Start early, stay late, watch how you spend your money, good things will happen. I see this a lot in my 69 years. I have NEVER seen it work.

[@deirdremorris9234]

​@@denniswilhelm1316 If the kids know mom is loaded, they may be pressuring her to buy the houses?

[@michaelfanto6634]

Truthfully, of all that I’ve ever heard from Dave Ramsey whether by video or print, this was by far the best I have seen him in counseling somebody about their finances, kudos to you, Dave for your thoughtfulness to this dear widow, and her three children!!🙏🏼👍🏼👏

[@t206kid]

I couldnt except a house from my parents. Bought mine back in March 2019 and I take great pride that I did it on my own at age 31 getting my home.

[@chief8079]

Do you live in a big city or small town? And did you buy with cash or get a mortgage?

[@s.d.3656]

@@chief8079 I'm sure at 31 most of the folks do it through mortgage

[@t206kid]

@@chief8079 I have a mortgage, in Louisville KY

[@15KHPCLUB]

Honestly I'd recommend they visit a grief counselor first I know from experience spending a lot of money after losing a loved one is a sign of a major emotional problem

[@stephenthompson9722]

The way I see it is it's a blessing to all 3 of them if they can keep working and build their wealth for their future children. Also educating their children to also teach their children.

[@dannymartial7997]

They're all in their late 30s and can't buy their own houses? The work ethic of the parents clearly didn't transfer to the kids. I'd give them a downpayment, and make them pay the monthly bills, so they actaully have something to work for. With no mortgage/rent payments, they'd slack off.

[@Emily_CM]

I would let them buy their own homes and see how they upkeep it. And if it weren’t to worthiniess, I would evaluate my upbringing and start working on myself with the grandchildren. If they are NOT worried about paying rent? Then why should I! I sound mean. Dave was struggling with this one. He just didn’t want her to feel worse. She is still young! She could live another forty years. She can even marry again. She just has to marry someone with her husband’s mindset. Not someone who is NOT worthy. I would NOT touch that money if I were her. But I would make a will or trust. That’s just me. It’s easy to say. I guess!

[@irrelevantideology9640]

I'm surprised that he didn't ask how the kids are doing financially. You don't want to buy a kid a house that is being financially irresponsible.

[@weswest8666]

She rated them “fair/good” “fair” and “fair/terrible” she has a good head on her shoulders like Dave so Dave knew what she meant.

[@benwhitnell]

And the kids are in their mid to late 30’s. There is a lot unsaid here.

[@MaryBethMcCoy]

I am also surprised that Dave didn’t ask about the kids’ financial situation. If it were me, I would help each kid with the down payment rather than buy them a house outright. Paying off their own mortgage will not only teach them to value what they have in life, but will instill in them confidence in their capabilities and a sense of self worth in having accomplished a goal. This will ultimately help them continue to be successful in other areas because they will have learned skills to help them achieve.

[@pamsmith1665]

He did ask

[@georgewagner7787]

I just paid off a house for the first time and it was a great celebration.

[@garagesale5948]

You are giving both the husband and the wife the house, be prepared to having your child loosing half the value of the house in a divorce. KEEP IT IN A TRUST and protect the asset for your children and grand children.

[@methemonkeyking]

@Garage Sale: This is the best advice of over 200 comments.

[@heatherwilliams3977]

so true.......keep it in a trust

[@Aileen.explores.nature]

Trust is the way to go.

[@dbdb4962]

That is what she said too, but Dave's advice isn't always great. Don't listen to Dave Ramsey like everything that comes out of his mouth is GOLD.

[@macpduff2119]

I slightly disagree. If the gift is cash, then by all means keep it in a trust for the children and grandkids. However, a house is different because it is a couple's fastest growing asset. If the house is in the trust, that unfairly steals the wife's asset if her husband (one of the caller's children) dies or divorces HER. CASH in a trust, but - for fairness - a house must be in joint ownership

[@Brian-tk8od]

The kids need to grow up. 40 year olds and still need mommy/daddy to pay for housing. This money will be more harmful than helpful

[@andyasia]

Yeah, I was thinking why don't these 30+ year old kids not have a house already ?

[@pjell]

I guess you both are 45+?

[@Brian-tk8od]

⁠nope. Bought out house in our early 30's.

[@SocietyOfOne]

You’re making a lot of assumptions based off an 8 minute video. You sound like a delightful person to be around

[@eileenwatt8283]

I know someone who did that and the grown child never paid the taxes and lost the house. Guess what! The grown daughter saved her money and eventually purchase her home with a mortgage. She treasures that home which is no way near the condition of the free house. I don't think she should purchase them homes. Dont let them know she has that much money. Do they even want their own home? That's the question she needs to ask them first. Can they pay the taxes and the upkeep? If they can't qualify for a house that's an indication not to do it. Just observe them now. She shouldn't talk about money with them either expectations will be overwhelming. I think all the children should go through Dave Ramsey's course first and let them find their financial freedom . After one year of them adjusting to their situation she can then surprise them with the downpayment.

[@teresaevans4840]

This is the best comment I so agree with you, I have seen people give kids homes and the kids didn't know what to do with it and lost it, if they are wise with money it's different.

[@FR-tb7xh]

Why do I get the feeling her 34+ year old kids will never get their acts together enough to buy their own houses?

[@Mary-t2u]

They are little kids in adult bodies

[@robira1313]

Yeah, why are they in their 30's and still renting?

[@franciskeys9810]

I'm 60. I own my home outright, no mortgage. It's worth about 250. To be completely fair to these kids, there is no way on God's green earth I could have come up with a $100,000 down payment and $2,800 mortgage payment when I was in my mid 30s. On a tangent, I worked in Silicon Valley in the early 90s. I made $70K as a product manager for a tech company. I looked at houses in San Francisco's Noe Valley neighborhood and there was one I fell in love with for $280,000. I just could not wrap my head around a mortgage of a quarter of a million dollars, so I never made an offer. Today that house is worth over $5 million. Oops.

[@FR-tb7xh]

@@franciskeys9810 “To be fair?” They’ve had 14 or so years to build smart and rewarding careers, financially plan, and work hard to chart their life trajectories. Never before have younger generations been more equipped, information-wise, to tailor their stead! Homebuying has never ever been cheap. Before my husband and I purchased our first home, we ate Cheerios for dinner, carried home-made lunches to work, rarely ate out, did errands by bicycle (yes, in the mountains), eventually bought one very used car and commuted together, didn’t own a credit card, and never spent beyond our means. Still, we entertained family and friends frequently, exercised our brains out year-round (incl. middle of winter New England snow) for fun, mastered inexpensive but fine dish cooking (these 40 years later, I still have the grocery receipts - they bookmark my cookbooks), and bought (and mended) clothes that lasted for many years. I even hand-sewed leather elbow patches, to buy our favorite shirts a few more years. Our khaki shorts and rag wool sweaters tattered, our boots always mud-caked and wet, they only attested to our vibrant lifestyle. We were obscenely happy. And fit. Most of all, we loved each other ‘till the cows came home, and shared a common vision - to start our retirement savings, buy a home, start a family, and enjoy our careers. As we tirelessly built our down payment, we watched as our price point’s home listings quickly went from close to farther from our employers. Even then, the ‘pickings’ became less-than. We’d already been forced a beltway out, and knew we had to act. So when we discovered a lovely little good-old-bones cape, with ‘old-world’ craftsmanship and materials (old forest wood cedar clapboard siding, plaster (not just skim coat) walls and ceilings, masonry, tongue and groove oak floors, and details of quarter-sawn hardwood, and deep concrete-poured basement), on a level lot in a generations-old family neighborhood horseshoe street, we pounced. Between our new home, our vigor and ability to learn to maintain and improve, and our new neighbors, we were in Heaven. When we bought our first house, we realized the enormous responsibility we’d suddenly taken on. It was terrifying. But we were up for the task. When, after years of marriage and homeownership, we had our first child, we were dumbstruck, even with our lucrative engineering careers, by the cost to raise and educate a child well (incl. college). Nearly overnight, the caliber of the public school system mattered, and as much as we loved our neighborhood, we realized the schools felt far short. Suffice to say, we bought ‘up’ and decided our family was complete. Comparatively, today’s most-complaining young adults seem unwilling to plan for the long haul. I want to believe they’re a minority, but gosh, they’re loud. The fact is, they made poorer choices out of the HS graduation gate, took on school loans as if they were candy, bought $6 coffees every morning at the Starbucks drive-through in their taxpayer-funded hybrid or EV, chose majors that promised no skills or value afterward, and had many children early. They take no personal responsibility, but rather look outward for the fix. Their ideologies are socialist, Marxist, entitled, and predatory - everyone deserves everything without breaking a sweat, and no one, not even the job-creators or good life-trajectory planners, should own more. Fortunately, we used to be and are anymore fighting to maintain meritocracy. Still, it’s a slippery slide.

[@kimberlyn.2096]

With my sons it was the same way. We gave them so much and they just do not know how to handle money. They kept asking until I said no. I’m 56. I have to start thinking of my and my husbands future! They are 30 and 35. They have kids and wife’s and are going to have to figure it out. Now if it where a terrible situation and they needed help that would be different. I would give them all I had! If I gave them a house, it would definitely not be a blessing in the long run!!

[@financialcoachsethconnell2278]

If she does this, she better have an estate planning attorney guide her in the process of handling the tax implications properly. If she doesn't, there will be a HEAP of issues to deal with.

[@hastycontemplation]

I think that is why she said she was making it part of a trust.

[@susancook1448]

Give the kids the max of $16K tax free per year. Towards down payment. We gave ours $32K (both husband and I). Housing market here is tough.

[@GrandmaBirdy]

Good advice Dave! I hope she listens to you!

[@rosejones2932]

Let the kids buy their own homes. Right of passage, they will feel like adults.

[@Zachery_]

Or somewhere in between the two, understand that housing has gotten less affordable adjusted for inflation so it’s harder for kids now than it was 20 years ago Do whatever feels right to you, I just don’t want to watch my kids struggle as a “right of passage” when I know I didn’t struggle as much and I can easily help them What’s the point of having an extra million in retirement to vacation with if the whole time you’re thinking about how your kids are still renting at 40 years old

[@---cr8nw]

@@Zachery_, yes, it has gotten harder. That's even more reason to let them do it on their own. It's an accomplishment. When my wife and I bought our house, it was a fixer upper, but fairly big. We paid 122,500 for a 4 bed/2 bath 1700 sq ft home. It had a lot of issues. But it's ours and we did it with no help from anyone except the bank. We did it while working terrible jobs and with a special needs newborn. 12 years later, we're still in the house and it still needs some work, but all cosmetic. Now that we're 40 years old, we have some land and we're trying to get into a position to build a house. A huge chunk of money would be amazing now that we know how to work hard for what we want and not blow the money.

[@leprechaun3677]

Why do poor people feel as if their kids also need to be poor to build character? If gifting your kids something ruins their character you’ve already messed up as a parent.

[@MatthewRoussinVolleyball]

@@---cr8nw You bought your house for 7 blueberries. A house like that in my city is 600k+. It’s not that we aren’t working hard. It’s that your generation fucked it up for ours. I’m 24 making 100k a year and can’t afford a house. Disgusting.

[@---cr8nw]

@@MatthewRoussinVolleyball, my generation didn't do anything to you. I'm a millneial. Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your situation.

[@mph5896]

Lots of questions on my part. She is retired, but still owns the business. Why not get out completely. If there is no over site there is plenty of chance of being fleeced by those that are running it. All the kids are renting. Why? Were they financially enabled in the past? They are pretty old to still be renting. Also, I would not be sharing her net worth to anybody. Especially her kids. If the one with the least financial stability has issue, they may hold her net worth over her head to gain support. That happened in my family.

[@pey7777]

I agree. It's not the parent's responsibility to get their kids into a home.. and the fact that they're all mid-late 30s and still rent is 100% on them

[@mph5896]

@@saulgoodman2018 She made it sound like she was out of the business.

[@dialac1]

💯

[@terryjanssen316]

Because the kids losers, circling like vultures waiting to pick the parents carcass clean. Do not throw them a leg!

[@terryjanssen316]

If you don't buy me a house you will never see your grandkids. I have seen it!

[@BruhZerk]

Man, coming from a family with nothing makes it so hard not to get jealous when hearing stories like these..

[@MariuszChr]

We will get there brother. Or at least our kids.

[@miajean352]

Yes @Bruh be encouraged! I’m praying for you; I completely understand where you’re coming from.

[@auburnanger6679]

I hear you. I don't necessarily get jealous but I do feel like the kids my age don't appreciate their parents much when they do stuff like this. They just expect it.

[@8356-4]

Trust me you don't want a house that your parent really owns. I would hate it and would live in a tent if I had to.

[@alaska49girl]

Sure does

[@JM.5387]

It's usually not a good idea to make drastic financial decisions during the first year after losing a spouse. Grief can motivate poor decisions.

[@JustinCase780]

Why not offer the "kids" 20-30% of 500K down to buy a house that THEY select and NEED to be commited & invested in..etc.

[@frankmundo4300]

@@cutehumor whats a pump job

[@heatherwilliams3977]

@@frankmundo4300 gas, walmart, target, starbucks.....many it means jobs that have low pay and insurance... taken by those who expenditures are low.

[@margotk538]

It’s best to just give them a downpayment like 20% and let them pay for the rest. They don’t need to buy a 500k home if they can not cover the rest of the expenses from the house. It’s a generous gift to show you and your husband the love you have to your children, while respecting that they are grown adults in their 30s. Need to create space financially and emotionally to help them grow.

[@bpaige12]

Be honest I think that's too much . I think she should match whatever they save for a down payment that way they have skin in the game.

[@macdisciple]

I received a bit of money from my family in my 30s. I did not manage it well. I learned to manage money when it was my own. A lot depends on the maturity of the kids.

[@budgetingwithnursenae3806]

So sorry for your loss. Praying for her, her family and kids💕🙏

[@AEvans36963]

Regardless of what happens, I smell a big money fight after she's gone. She needs the advice of a good and reputable estate attorney.

[@DR.Detroit11]

What a blessing...58 is a bit young.. but this the the generous part, just need to figure out how generous right now you can be...IMO, Dave's solutions are always freakishly correct.

[@Mysticinvestigations]

They're all in their 30's and she's buying them houses? Why can't they buy their own homes? Sounds like they were always spoiled.

[@mitchellm3536]

Yeah, this is unbelievable. I kinda expected him to say it’s a bad idea but he barely even questioned the logic of it. I’m waiting on the day these kids show up on the show claiming they’re millionaires who didn’t inherit anything.

[@DestinyC1020]

Thank you! That's the impression I'm getting also 👀

[@elizabethblane201]

Yeah, something's wrong with this picture. Why would you "deprive" your children of the opportunity to buy their own homes?

[@MichaelAnderson-wk1no]

@@mitchellm3536 I think he didn't question it too much because it sounded like this was literally her husband's dying wish. But on the inside, Dave probably thought it was a very bad idea.

[@gsquared2394]

It kind of sounds like they were waiting for dad to die because he told them he was going to buy them a house. Classic economic outpatient care

[@daxd8358]

Helpful and compassionate with responsibility. Giving can be complicated especially with family .

[@GarryMurray-i1y]

Dave. Your wisdom is so powerful. Compassion is a gift that you obviously possess. That kind of advise carry’s,compassion, love and amazing character. Very powerful words of wisdom!

[@lindawinters6285]

EXCELLENT Advise to first caller, Papa Dave! I respect your wisdom and what you share with us! Blessings, Lyn W, Idaho USA 🎶

[@annaGlass972]

My father gave me and my sister a down payment but we had to do the work of qualifying, arranging a mortgage and choosing a house suitable to our relative incomes. This is what will do for our three childen, we have a high net worth but kids have to have some skin in the game to learn and to appreciate. Housing is so expensive now and we want to help but not to enable and remove their drive.

[@MaryBethMcCoy]

My father did something similar for me. At the time, he gave me the down payment for the condo I selected, and since he knew real estate, arranged the mortgage. I paid the mortgage monthly as well as all expenses since the condo was always only in my name. I recently sold it and relocated to another part of the country. I think paying a mortgage and other expenses teaches a person a great sense of responsibility and instills confidence and self worth.

[@lvnobro4632]

She was able to save 4 million for herself by following Dave's plan but didn't teach her kids how to do it for themselves?? Why? I'm so confused.

[@alaska49girl]

My Dad never taught me either. He is sitting pretty while I struggle.

[@dianabalan2919]

​​@@alaska49girlthat's a bad parent. Sorry to hear that

[@dianabalan2919]

OP: she saved with the husband and it's not mentioned that they used Dave's plan. However, I agree, more than money, financial education is necessary. Somehow, I got my own without being taught anything. I had enough for 3 down-payments on a minimum income. So yeah, financial education is crucial, in any way you can get it - get it!

[@TrektheMundo]

​@@dianabalan2919Around the 50 second mark she mentions that in 2009 she ran into this book, The Total Money Makeover, which is Dave's book alluding to the fact that she followed his principles. They should have included their kids though in learning and living the principles.

[@dianabalan2919]

@@TrektheMundo thank you for the comment

[@williamgilbert8959]

Click bait. She is not buying them houses. She is buying houses in her trust and allowing them to live in them. Anyway...it's a bad idea and has the potential to cause a host of problems.

[@TheALPod]

Dave and his staff have elegant answers for very in depth questions, so quickly. Remarkable

[@kstar1956]

She’s crazy! She has THREE GROWN kids and none of them seem to be responsible adults that can manage their money and now she wants to hand over the keys. Doesn’t sound like they deserve anything.

[@sebastianzx6r]

Wait until they have kids. As parents they won't pay for anything since mom has bought them everything.

[@eplugplay8409]

Nothing wrong with buying your kids a house to make their life much easier. As long as they aren't bums and raised right and are good people, don't see any issues. I have two kids and I would do the same if I were in the position when they are older.

[@frankcb11]

You have no idea what you are talking about lol

[@richardrodriguez1742]

I'm in that same position, but I have total control over the homes, my family is terrible with money, so I had to keep control.

[@rajbeekie7124]

This woman is flexing on Dave. The kids have not demonstrated they are ready for this money. At their ages, I doubt they will ever be ready.

[@nsn876]

A simple test. 3 kids. Buy them 3 family cars CRV or the like. In pretty decent shape. Can run her 65-75k. Assess how they handle that. Then move forward with the plan. Baby steps.

[@smb123211]

My wife and I have had this argument for years. We have money ($6M - early 70's) and due to my upbringing, I was dead set against it and as my financial advisor said money appreciating is age-related We finally gave each $60,000 for the down payment and with what they had saved their mortgages are affordable. The financial advisor said his number one problem was parents who sought to maintain the lifestyle of their adult children - car notes, $15,000 annually, phones, vacations, cars. It's insane.

[@auburnanger6679]

60 is a huge blessing I hope they appreciated it

[@karynkotz6541]

Another option is to buy the houses let them live there and charge a modest rent and invest that money for them. Keep everything in your name to protect your children in the event of a divorce. Their spouse cannot get a house your child doesn't own or money invested for them by you under your ownership.

[@tonymelnik2235]

Kids can’t buy their own houses , what have they been doing.

[@scott_johnson_]

Living in poverty

[@reesercliff]

renting

[@Fishouta]

Allow the adult children to succeed on their own and not care-take them.

[@johnniwa308]

Bought my third house at 27 yrs old still live in it I'm 59 now.. added on remodeling and maintenance all done with Cash over the years. Hard work and perseverance has treated me well. Nobody really appreciates a freebie in the long term.

[@stevenporter863]

Bad move taking a house as gift from a parent. The kids' lives and home will never really be their own. Potentially the mother (or mother-in-law from their spouse's perspective) could feel entitled to drop in randomly, like it's a hotel. She should just give it with no strings or forget about it.

[@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303]

Yeah, that is what my parents did and my mom is free to come and go as she pleases with nagging and all.

[@stevenporter863]

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 😅

[@MuffinTessee]

Yeah... she really needs to rethink giving her kids half a million if she doesn't trust them to manage it properly. Why would anyone want their mom to be their landlord? Not to mention the spouse who is not related... It would be a hard no from me if my mother in law wanted to be my landlord lol

[@mama2meditate375]

@@MuffinTessee exactly, it’s not a gift if there are strings.

[@stevenporter863]

@@mama2meditate375 Also if the child and their spouse split the house may be divided between the child and their ex. Too many potential issues.

[@HienNguyen-hw1wh]

I would buy my children homes but have them pay a cheaper rent that way she still has income coming in. Then when she passes the houses go to them anyways. It's a win win for both sides.

[@sarahhunt2376]

I just have to say, how do you know that a person is financially responsible? You could hear one story from your kids and find out years later that they were actually very irresponsible. You might find out the kids you thought were irresponsible were actually just private and much better at managing money. I'm pretty sure my own mom thinks I am irresponsible with money, but the truth is we are doing very well and just keep that to ourselves. Basically, if you are gonna gift your kids, do it equally, fairly and without expectation. Be clear though that it is a once in a lifetime opportunity

[@TShirtAndReeboks]

Being quiet about your finances shouldn't make your mom think you aren't good with your money. I think there are signs that a person is not managing money well. Is that person asking for money? Is that person struggling with bills while also spending a lot of money on entertainment, clothing, and dinner out? etc.

[@kevins5268]

My dad had 9 of us kids. We all have our own families and houses all paid for our schooling. Teach your kids to be adults their not children. They are your children but they are grown adults.

[@gandsmeyer2957]

I like the idea of holding off, stating the expectation for a period of time and having each kid go through financial peace university

[@BillyCarsley]

I love the down payment option: you get them started and get them some equity, but you leave them incentive to keep working hard.

[@lynnebucher6537]

I'm going to go with the timeless advice that says never make any major decisions for the first year after losing your spouse. That money will still be there in another year or so. Personally I would never give more money or assets to someone who is not good with money to start with. It truly is like giving a drug addict more drugs. And the gift tax implication of giving them houses outright will be a nightmare. She at least had the sense to consider putting the houses into a trust.

[@MaryBethMcCoy]

Excellent advice!

[@mikepaulus4766]

My friend is helping each of his kids build a tiny house that functions as their own bedroom so they can have the experience of building it for themselves. No plumbing, but construction and wiring. They can put it on a trailer and take it with when they move, or just take the experience.

[@nancyheft1775]

People don't value what they are handed. They need to work for it. We need to stand on our own two feet!!!

[@johnlively1372]

Don't buy them a home. Give them the downpayment and let them make the payments on the mortgage. Otherwise, you are asking for trouble down the road. It's called tough love and learning to be responsible.

[@kyllikki9]

Tell them to save for a down payment and you will match it. From there I would say whatever you pay down on your mortgage in the next 5-10 years I will match that as well. That way they are learning along the way.

[@kevinbrooks6147]

Protect the kids by tying the homes up in a trust so they are divorce exempt.

[@quincekreb6798]

Could also just do a sizeable down payment to kids help them get started in a decent home, this way they still have to manage things smartly.

[@JC-21470]

I think I would do the following: First talk about finances with each of them and sell the story of getting debt free. If that goes well, tell them you will pay for each of them to attend financial peace university. After they graduate, as a reward for becoming debt free on their own , tell them you will then pay for a down payment on their first home. I would probably pay 100K. Later down the road you can decide if you want to pay off the house for them.

[@jillgott6567]

THIS IS A GREAT PLAN

[@MaryBethMcCoy]

Great idea!

[@mandysimmons2769]

That is good! :)

[@miajean352]

Agree!!!!!

[@pltopper771]

I don't always agree with the advice given, but I enjoy watching this and learning a lot

[@candy2325]

That seems like it might be tight financially for her to do that. What about property taxes for each home? Hopefully her kids can maintain that.

[@marycarricaburu3683]

and insurance and upkeep.

[@jillgott6567]

I worked for a couple who had worked up from little to nothing to Incredible wealth. They finally bought a very very large amount of property built an incredibly large house for themselves. Then built a brand new home for the older son and his family. And a home for the younger son prior to his marriage. This included refinishing family furniture for the homes. There was also acres and acres still open for hunting, gardens, ponds etc The control was crazy. The husband had anger issues and health issues. The wife was sweet but did not walk the property as she was afraid of bears and snakes so most of it was unused. Sad so much money but so many negatives Give the kids a down-payment they can use it for a business vacation or whatever. I would not want to live in a house someone else owned unless I was renting so not a good idea for mom to put the houses into a trust.

[@MuffinTessee]

If she had like $10 million I'd say go ahead and buy them houses. But with $4 million it's pretty tight for her own retirement. Best option is for her to give them 20% down payments for a house. That way they still have skin in the game but it will be much easier for them to at least close on a house if that's what they want.

[@barbieblue3336]

Yes re $. Just give gift limit

[@carlaritchie331]

I would allocate an equal, set amount to help each of them when they are ready and qualified to buy a home, but would never promise to provide an unlimited 20% down payment for any mortgage loan amount they choose.

[@lorirogers9304]

$4 million is a tight budget ? 😅

[@MuffinTessee]

​@@lorirogers9304 Well, just do the math. She has $3 mil in cash, which leaves $1.5 for her for retirement after buying homes for the kids. If she has 25 years of retirement that's about $60k a year. She said her home is worth about a million so taxes are probably like $15k a year plus insurance is another $5k minimum. So not even including any other life expense she's only allocated $40k a year in retirement plus whatever she gets from social security. Idk about you but I'd want a little more than $60k a year for retirement.

[@lorirogers9304]

@@MuffinTessee I’m lookin at $30,000 or less per year when I retire. Her dilemma would be a windfall for me.

[@allisonmussman5760]

Home ownership is more than just paying for the house.

[@percivalgooglyeyes6178]

Young people move around all the time in building their careers. Also, when they buy their own house, rather than being given to them, builds character. Besides, with a trust they inherit your wealth when the time comes anyway.

[@johnmartin4641]

“Builds character”. Who cares? I would rather have my kids not have to worry about paying off the house and let them have more money to spend on my grandchildren so my grandchildren can have the best life possible. I know several people who believe that not giving your kids a good life “builds character” and raise their kids that way because that’s how their parents raised them, and with one exception, these parents have accomplished nothing and aren’t successful. Why would anyone take a strategy that has failed them and then use that same failed strategy on their own children? That makes no sense.

[@elizabethblane201]

@@johnmartin4641 Well, did you buy each of your kids a house? Did you give them a "good life" so they didn't have to pay for their own expenses?

[@johnmartin4641]

@@elizabethblane201 yes, I did.

[@elizabethblane201]

@@johnmartin4641 Well, I guess they are now dependent on you to have a good life. I taught my kids to do it for themselves.

[@heatherwilliams3977]

@@johnmartin4641 John I am with you. This life is hard enough. I you can live mortgage free.....and always have a family home, your building generational wealth. I would put the homes in a trust so that if they marry and divorce it stays in the family. I have so many friends that feel trapped in their jobs unfortunately due to bills.

[@blackspiderman1887]

"Generosity is hard work" So true. I give a certain amount per year and the hardest part is finding someone who will use the money wisely. Last time i gave someone help they blew the money on an expensive phone.

[@kentondragon9263]

I understand Daves" trust in the kids,' however I'm with the lady and put the houses in a trust, sounds like a great lady and she knows HER own children better. The houses in the trust isn't "theirs", but its a place for them to stay rent free forever, all they have to pay is the utilities and upkeep. 👍😌

[@benwhitnell]

These aren’t children, they are full grown adults. I cannot for the life of me think of an experience more humiliating or infantilizing than this course of action.

[@michellerichardson3090]

But why do that to your adult children? They're married, either give them a gift or let them figure it out

[@patriciabrant8037]

I wouldn't want I bought you a house thrown in my face. If I don't live up to a parent standards. No thank you.

[@wickedbird1538]

😮😮When my mom was in her 60s. I told her to stop giving away large sums of money to us. She is turning 95 next month and still has enough to live on.

[@johnnyappleman7159]

To be honest, if she buys houses they need to be placed on a trust.

[@moonbuni59]

Or have her name on the title at a percentage of ownership

[@eileenalholinna5310]

That’s very generous! My sympathies to this woman 💔.

[@fhuber7507]

I would have said $100K each down and push cash toward the houses incrementally. Or $ for $ matching up to $XXX per year.

[@Jamesaepp]

I love the $/$ match idea. Simple, you only get out what you put in method. Do it for both the house and the investment portfolios of each child.

[@nathalielady2592]

$100 k is 20% down payment on a $500 k house. Good start. Or $250 each, and they will be responsible for the rest of the payment. That way she still have the remaining $250 K of the life insurance to invest for herself.

[@stevenhull5025]

Putting the properties in trust is a smart move. I would never buy my kids a house and they are on the deeds. What happens if there is a divorce. The wife usually takes the house (and the kids).

[@jamesl.a.n6394]

My net worth is near hers and I’m not buying either of our kids a house.

[@logitech2010100]

Sucks for them

[@bb-1359]

Bragging about not buying something for kids 🤙🏼

[@logitech2010100]

@@bb-1359 😂 James thinks he's so hard

[@erickgutierrez6743]

That's real greed right there. When you're in a position to help your OWN kids and you brag about not doing it.

[@easygreensniper]

@@erickgutierrez6743 If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

[@caryclemenson5558]

To what end? Then the money they would have spent on the payment goes where? I did something slightly different, I bought building lots 15 years ago. When they were ready, I built them a house and sold it to them for the cost of the construction. So they still had a payment, roughly half of what it was worth.

[@anniec3438]

“I had a friend that paid for each of his kids house and all he asked for was a letter.” Is this friend named Dave Ramsey? Lol

[@debbiecummings3657]

I inherited some money, i have some in mutual funds, some in savings. My son got divorced and was looking to buy a home. I paid for half of it and am half owner. It's the best investment I have made. Its going to be his when I die anyway.

[@MissTXTee]

I am soooooo green with envy! My parents were not in a position to help me after high school, so I've struggled for everything I have and am always so jealous of families that give their kids huge financial boosts, like this. I am constantly praying for God to help me not to covet other people's fortune, but it's so hard! 🙈

[@georgewagner7787]

Change your career. We came from nothing although my parents got educated. My brother and brother in law are both wealthy as a technician and a realtor

[@janhatcher6991]

well, I wish I had somebody that would buy me a house. What sweet mom and dad you are.

[@estosgarage486]

They better never allow her to be carted off to a nursing home. She better have three warm & welcoming homes to live if needed!! She is doing way more for these 30+ year olds than needed. She may think they will soon start fighting over this money but that’s not her issue. She is a really great person & I hope for the best outcome..

[@barbieblue3336]

Yes, it gets too tempting to greedy kids who get used to this or that

[@stewbugz5213]

It happens! I just witnessed that scenario with a distant family member. They stuck them in a nursing home and are using the persons fortune! They don’t even visit them in the nursing home!

[@0mnilegacy]

I paid off two mortgages by the age of 35 on a 50-60K income... young people living for today and not realizing they are stealing from their future.

[@LukenUSee]

Agreed. Delaying gratification these days is not a common strength

[@billwilliams699]

On what a 150k house?

[@0mnilegacy]

@@billwilliams699 it was possible before the pandemic, the current economy is much worst now then when I wrote this. Yea it was, $160K and $100K houses. Those houses now value twice the amount. On third house now with 120K but big down payment...

[@shellderp]

The most I would do is match their down payment 50/50. Kids gotta earn their wealth

[@AliaksandrKauretski]

What a life changing experience would be to receive such a generous present from parents. I would never let my mom to regret that decision even if I was struggling financially, i would make her proud and would be forever grateful.