Why Should I Have To Pay For My Kid's College?

[@RobDozier904]

You don't HAVE to. But speaking as someone whose parents paid for their college.... Its the greatest blessing my parents ever gave me.

[@thesig301]

Agreed, college seems necessary especially as a backup plan. Education builds smarter and hardworking people.

[@musicpro7278]

@Bruce Bobtrotter it's paid not payed go to school

[@RyanABC123]

Agreed. I hate the idea of parents not wanting to help their kids so it will “help them get tough”. Paying for college isn’t where perseverance is taught.

[@makecodgreatagain6049]

@@musicpro7278 are you that slow? He’s clearly saying the same thing as you.

[@musicpro7278]

@@makecodgreatagain6049 I'm pretty sure the guy that doesn't get the sarcasm is the slow one

[@unfairsanic5089]

My parents helped me pay for my college before they passed, now im a nurse without any student loan. So blessed that they did that for me and i want to do the same once i want to have kids in the future

[@Arizona_lilly]

Yep ! Perfect very nice my brother just like this too he appreciate his life and can focus on other things not drown in debt

[@davecopp9356]

@unfair sanic Don´t wait too long before having kids.

[@cabayern9416]

Beautiful, kind parents!

[@felisleo101]

Mine did the same thing. Sorry to hear that your parents are no longer with you. But I am doing the same thing for my children my parents did for me.

[@genxx2724]

@@davecopp9356 True, unfortunately. My professional colleagues have had fertility problems and kids with serious disorders.

[@chibivampiregirl]

as someone who had to put myself through college and work full time as i studied, i would never wish that type of stress on any kid i pop out. i'm of the school of thought that once your kid is 18, pay for their needs in college (tuition, room, food) and let them work for their wants. giving kids a chance to focus on their studies can only help them. giving them an opportunity to get an internship without worrying about losing the roof over their head is so valuable in today's world.

[@Nick-bd2yv]

Nailed it

[@genxx2724]

Good points. Capital letters?

[@crystalsnow1138]

But for many parents college isn't necessarily a need, it's a want.

[@AyoCoat]

Facts

[@saintsandsin3885]

I bet that experience built some character.

[@ae3209]

What a gem of a dad, his kids sure are lucky 😂

[@saltycecil6473]

Considering 40% of college grads are underemployed not using their degree. I’d say to at least make sure your kid has a career plan established for after college and is not just going to party…

[@Anthony-db7cs]

Wait until you find out how the US general public is doing.

[@xenn4985]

Well maybe 40% of college grabs shouldnt have gone to college in the first place

[@Anthony-db7cs]

@@xenn4985 Maybe you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet. Also, you might want to compare how college grads are doing to high school grads. Only Americans think education is bad LOL.

[@xenn4985]

@@Anthony-db7cs You assume im not speaking from experience. your loss.

[@Anthony-db7cs]

@@xenn4985 Figures, you don't have an education beyond underfunded US K12. You are incapable of looking at data. You rely on personal anecdote like an American layman would do. Most people that aren't well off after college usually went to random knockoff schools and came from lower class backgrounds to begin with. Americans think education is bad and then wonder why the world views them as imbeciles LOL

[@mikehurt3290]

I knew my parents couldn't pay for college so I decided to go to community college out of pocket and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made

[@chocolateangel8743]

Community college can be a good route for some. I think it depends on what you want to do.

[@John3.36]

Did you get mugged? std?

[@batirtzeurkiaga1716]

Great for you!!!!

[@chocolateangel8743]

@@MicheleNichols2 I get what you mean. I was just thinking that, for some kids, worrying about credits transferring and uprooting oneself could throw them off track. I've heard some horror stories.

[@meleenabradley3017]

My parents barely could and I went to community College 1st and now we're cash flowing our son's college and our son mapped out his education by 1st going to a community College and then transferred over to a university. He's almost done.

[@Da_padilla]

Parental support is the main goal, some parents are financially better off to help with college some aren't. Personally I don't see anything wrong with helping your kids, the reality is no one else will. There is already enough inequity no need to add more...

[@chocolateangel8743]

@Danny Padilla There is nothing wrong with helping your kids. I went to school with a lot of wealthy kids, who were tracked into the gifted program from the time we were in middle school. They knew they were privileged, and their parents made them work their butts off. The vast majority ended up being quite successful. This caller is poor and has a poor person's mentality.

[@Da_padilla]

@@chocolateangel8743 Definitely good to mention that, it is often the case where people cite that one rich kid who is spoiled and ruined their life. Then it is used as an example and applied as a justification not to help at all. Typically those, who are better off, put a lot of effort in their kids and they are far more likely to be successful. Most students in poverty typically fall towards bad crowds, early pregnancies, drug usage, but everyone look those problems over.

[@TShirtAndReeboks]

My parents never paid for tuition but did help with food and even housing my freshman year. I really appreciated the help because even with scholarships and working part time, money was so tight going through college. I was thankful to come out without student loans.

[@saintsandsin3885]

Built character and taught you how to be frugal I bet?

[@fritos923]

Can't believe Dave gave him that book for free, how's he gonna learn from a book he didn't work hard for?

[@ericstencovage7130]

Yeah that first part made me think he was looking for an excuse not to pay rather than be honest with his kids. Not a mentality I like.

[@davidlloyd1526]

I doubt he'll read it anyway.

[@cw5948]

I like how this guy says he can’t afford it, yet he expects his kids straight out of high school to be able to afford it.

[@johnmartin4641]

@@Mrs.Butterworth maybe in Dave’s day, but not today. It’s also better to have them focus on their grades instead of some dead end job because they could get a scholarship worth way more than what they could earn from a job that pays close to minimum wage. I didn’t work until after college and graduated with honors and got great scholarships and so did my wife and our kids. We all noticed the same thing: our classmates who worked frequently did not turn in assignments because they worked late and stayed up all night doing assignments from other classes and fell asleep in class and their grades suffered as a result of that.

[@mikewright2858]

@@johnmartin4641 Well, I also need to provide for my retirement, and frankly after decades of working myself to death, I can't do it any longer. Retirement comes first.

[@TN-te5jr]

@@mikewright2858 so your soon to be death comes before your children or family's future.

[@Salz88]

Oh Boy don't even go there! when they're 18 they can get a FULL TIME job while they work an extra side hustle THERE'S MANY OPPORTUNITIES OUT THERE and they can make it happen. Nowadays you can sell many things online without having to leave your house, there's so many side hustles such as Uber and food deliveries, Amazon deliveries and the list GOES ON. If you work hard for it you can accomplish it. Stop babysitting your young adults after high school, THEY ARE ADULTS NOW. Parents like you is why so many kids don't take their education seriously and major in stupid things in college because it doesn't cost them a dime and they just take it for granted.

[@blk1735]

@@johnmartin4641 I noticed this too. A part time job for a high school kid is fine, but they shouldn't be expected to pay for all their college expenses with said job.

[@samschumacher721]

Financial Aid is determined entirely by parents' income. If you are a high earning parent choosing not to contribute to your child's education, you are actively limiting their potential.

[@matthewgardner2144]

Exactly. If Daryl is ok with impoverishing himself and his family, he can work a series of minimum wage jobs to make scholarships and grants a reality. It's no longer the 1970s when tuition was $700 a semester.

[@caseybedenko8866]

This is what happened to me. Received no help with school due to my parents income, and had to pay every penny myself

[@seaportsthename]

that’s what happened for me. my stepdad worked in the oilfield high up, my dad was a master sergeant in the air force and now does military contracting. so they both made really good money when i was graduating highschool… i didn’t qualify for any kind of financial aid since i lived at home. it didn’t seem fair since both sets of parents (mom & stepdad, dad & stepmom) didn’t want to pay for my college yet i was punished for how much they made.

[@bharris4517]

@@seaportsthename your dad should’ve received a GI Bill benefit for you, no?

[@seaportsthename]

@@bharris4517 yes, but he wouldn’t give me the info for it because of family drama (not even my fault). i have a very selfish toxic family on both sides…

[@privacyplease1556]

Wonder how Daryl will feel in 30 years when his kids call into the show asking “why do I need to care for my geriatric dad?”

[@hdtwal1den]

PRECISELY.

[@scarpfish]

What would happen if he paid for the kid's college and by means of doing so sacrifices the ability to cover his post retirement life? Do you think that would be fair to those kids (and their spouses) when they're trying to raise families of their own? That emotional quid pro quo blackmail sounds good in the abstract. Its another thing entirely when you have to deal with the realities of it.

[@mioszwciso8262]

Well, without paying for college he is still supporting his children for 18 years. That's nothing?

[@thefpvlife7785]

Deep

[@highpointadvisors9314]

It never ceases to amaze me how people think "all or none"! I paid for college, but not books or spending money. Books - they should have a stake in their education; spending money - I'm not paying for their partying. They worked summers & budgeting was part of their education. Both started working in high school & shared a car in which they had JOINT responsibility to fuel & maintain the car WITHOUT ARGUEMENT. Part of their education. Too often parents take care of everything, push the kids off the responsibility cliff without any small steps in between. It shouldn't be all or none, but gradually requiring levels of responsibility so than they can have confidence in themselves at increased levels of responsibility.

[@LG123ABC]

I took two years off between high school and college and worked full time so I could save up some money but my parents also helped me. It doesn't have to be one or the other. It can be a mix of both.

[@Chalk89]

Exactly; it’s frustrating that people use such simple solutions for complex life decisions. My wife took one year off and worked at a hospital as an admin. She then worked during school part-time. She has a doctorate with $50k in school loan. It’s not $0 but it’s better than 90% of people who spent four years of their time for a useless degree.

[@Anthony-db7cs]

Or you could have just went to another developed country.

[@georgewagner7787]

You have to be a citizen.

[@scarpfish]

I'll bet that full time work gave you some direction that bouncing around academia taking every 100 level course wouldn't.

[@TakishaEtienne]

I don’t have kids but if I was a parent, I would want to help pay for my children’s education. it’s just interesting to hear that parents don’t want to do that for their kids. I mean, you don’t have to pay for things that you don’t want to but those are still your children and they’d most likely need your help…

[@dcg590]

So,you,have no idea what you’re talking about

[@genxx2724]

@@dcg590 You can procreate without knowing anything. It’s the easiest thing in the world. Doing so AFTER thinking things through is what’s hard.

[@TakishaEtienne]

@@dcg590 Shut up. I don’t have kids but I was the kid in a situation with my parents wanting to help me with college because they knew I would need the help and also because I’m their child. And I’d do the same for my child.

[@garyhost1830]

At what point would you say it would impact upon your own retirement ?

[@Mosesusorer]

@@TakishaEtienne for the good of your hypothetical children, and even though I think you’d make a great parent, please don’t have kids. Spare them all the harm & suffering in this messed up world we live in. If you’re can & are willing to, you can always adopt whenever you’re ready. Let’s help those who are already here instead of burdening an innocent soul with all of life’s meaningless bs

[@Chalk89]

I wish Dr. John was on this one - very peculiar way of thinking. Imagine looking at a significant portion of today’s adult population strapped with college debt and think, ‘why should I pay for their college?’ I understand not wanting entitled kids but this caller’s attitude left me a bit frustrated.

[@michelleh4717]

i think i briefly heard him say he still had debt?

[@matthewgardner2144]

@@michelleh4717 He did sound pretty broke, and no mention of whether he's married to his kids' mom or if she is employed. Like so many Ramsey calls, important details were being left out. Instead of ranting, Dave should ask callers what their HHI is, expenses, family size, etc.

[@johnmartin4641]

I’ve noticed throughout my life that most people who use this guy’s parenting style because that’s how their parents raised them have accomplished nothing. I’ve never understood why anyone would take a parenting style that failed them and use it on their own kids. I had my college paid for and I retired in my 50s and can afford almost anything I want while people I know who worked through college are still working in their 60s and complaining how they can’t afford a bunch of things. Someone in the comment section on this channel in a different video posted a link to a study that shows that people who had their college paid for went on to be more successful than those who worked through college, and that’s why we encourage our kids to go to college: so they can make more money. A lot of these parents hide behind their parents because it’s not politically correct to admit the truth: that they really don’t care. That’s the only explanation that makes sense when you consider that the same strategy failed them and they know it doesn’t actually work and when you consider the study I mentioned proves them wrong, yet they decide to use the failed strategy anyway.

[@TN-te5jr]

My life 🙃 at 23 but atleast no debt, and really can't put my self through college so I work but don't have much at the end of the year, usually cause low pay jobs that I only work for a year or two and stress at home so yea I guess I need to work more even though that's all mostly everyone says but themselves don't want to and don't gain but instead always in the hole and spread negatively throughout and wonder why next generations care less and less like their parents.

[@joslinnick]

Yeah, this guy is looking for reasons to be selfish and not put money away forr his kids' future. Him and his parents come from a time when college cost a few hundred dollars per semester. My dad's medical school tuition was around $500-$1000 per year in the 1980s. The EXACT same school he went to is now $30k+ just for tuition. That doesn't include books, food, living expenses, health insurance, or anything else you need to survive.

[@blk1735]

@@joslinnick We as a society have to ask ourselves why have the costs of college skyrocketed in such a short amount of time and make changes to the system.

[@blk1735]

This is exactly what I have seen in my life. The people that had emotional and financial support throughout college or tech school ended up doing way better in life than the people that had to struggle and get loans.

[@garrhetsampson]

This is exactly what it comes down to. This guy simply doesn’t care if his kids succeed and wants to justify his decisions toward that end. It’s really no more complicated than that.

[@appleiphone69]

I paid for 50% of my college expenses myself. Having no debt was a blessing.

[@MsMockingbird06]

The issue is that college has gotten so expensive it’s really hard for college age folks to pay for it all on their own. Christina’s mom told her early on which helped her prepare for how to get it paid. With the right resources and strategy, it can be paid without debt.

[@darex0827]

Military is always an option.

[@crystalsnow1138]

@@darex0827 Not everyone wants to join the military and that's okay.

[@genxx2724]

@@darex0827 Some people come out of the military without their legs, with their hearing destroyed, or their brains damaged.

[@donjohnson1416]

Oh thats freaking DRAMA!!! There are CHOICES that make college affordable. Get over your drama

[@donjohnson1416]

@@genxx2724 What % do you think that is DRAMA QUEEN? Omg really? lol

[@David-hn2qz]

Every Saturday morning after breakfast the whole family took part in paying our bills, we made it fun. I wrote the check my wife prepared envelopes and the kids put the stamps and address labels on. We also discussed finances, in a happy fun way. Talking about responsibilities, and wish list. Even now we celebrate whenever it is time to pay a bill. That's how to raise financially competent adults. Not by intentionally making life more difficult.

[@crystalsnow1138]

While yes it is a parent's personal decision to whether to help pay for college or not, don't be shocked if the kids find out you aren't paying for any of it and they decide not to go.

[@mikewright2858]

Well, that in and of itself is telling - if the kid only is willing to go if you pay for it, then I question their dedication to their own future.

[@scarpfish]

And in deciding not to go, they instead go find an apprenticeship, join the military or find entry level work and develop marketable skillsets without sending them into their adult lives thousands of dollars in the hole. Instill a good work ethic in your kids and they will find a way, college or not.

[@laneblount9888]

From the kids perspective. I was blessed to have my parents pay for my college(2 year degree) under the understanding that if I failed or dropped I had to pay them back. After I graduated and started working full time I was able to buy a home at 21 because I had no debt. That will be the plan for my kids too

[@dancalmpeaceful3903]

Mirror image of what is going on in my life. My son is about to buy a house too.

[@LegDayLas]

Word of advise, don't make financial agreements with family they have no legal obligation to fulfill. You were a success, that doesn't mean they will. You are just asking for that deal to blow up in your face if they fail. You will find yourself with a flunking child who blames YOU for the debt you are demanding back and you will never see the money, or the kid again.

[@cita_m]

We are saving up to have modest college fund for our kids. If they want to go to a pricey school, they have have to get a scholarship. We want to help them and still show them they have to work and provide for themselves.

[@jomontanee]

Very wise decision!👍👍👏👏

[@self-love6065]

Yes, you need to help YOUR children. Great point about working with kids towards their future, rather than throwing them out without help.

[@Salz88]

I'm helping my daughter by teaching her the value of getting good grades which can result in scholarships and teaching her about choosing the right career path so she can get a return on her investment in the long run.

[@UTBanjo]

18 years old is an adult in the eyes of the law. There are a ton of ways to get your education paid for if you're not afraid of a little hard work.

[@Jelly._.cat._.1]

If you got the money, then do it (pay for their college). If you don’t, then help as much as you can

[@torontoBluejays87]

My kid is two and I started saving weeks after he was born. Have it in very long term index ETFs with low fees. Couldn’t be happier. My parents paid for me so I’m passing it along. Like my parents, I will encourage him to work hard and get a job in highschool.

[@jomontanee]

I am Asian. Asian parents pay for the kids college without asking “why to?”. It is parents’ RESPONSIBILITY. Anyway, my parents had so many life struggles so I found the way through some scholarship to help my mom saving the fee.

[@Salz88]

You did the right thing, you showed them YOU REALLY WANTED TO FURTHER YOUR EDUCATION and you worked for it. If you can do it, anyone can.

[@actual_doge3221]

I think it is parents responsibility too. The kid didnt ask to be here, you eouldnt need to pay if you just didnt have a kid lol I dont know why parents dont prepare to pay for their kids education thats crazy to me

[@lelebella3252]

😂

[@strawberribubbletea]

I’m Asian and my parents didn’t help with tuition only fees and commute. If only all Asian parents were as generous 😅

[@ghostbird92]

My parents paid for my college, which put me in a great place to succeed. If they hadn't, I'd still be paying off student loans and spending over $2k on rent every month. But since I don't have any debt, I've been able to buy my own place (almost have half of it paid off already) and have a decent amount in my 401K and other savings.

[@marcusarelius]

You brought them into the world there Darryl, they didn't have a choice. Might as well help them get ahead in this life don't you think?

[@danielvasquez3758]

This dude doesn’t get it!! Probably will blow his money before dying and giving it to his parents!!

[@jimmymcgill6778]

Wrong. He does have a choice to not pay for it.

[@Ryan_DeWitt]

That's the same thing basically as when people say their kids are responsible for taking care of them as they age since they didn't save anything.

[@marcusarelius]

@@jimmymcgill6778 No one said he didn't

[@marcusarelius]

@@Ryan_DeWitt Great point

[@tylerhandsome7344]

A “luxury” lol. You’re paying for school. Not a Lamborghini. Give them a number you’re willing to pay and pay the bill, geez.

[@MsMockingbird06]

That’s a great idea to give them a number that he’s willing and/or can afford to pay.

[@brad885]

If you can. My daughter is going to a community school first THEN going on. I will pay for what I can but she's also not going into debt like I did for it.

[@therationalistparty9742]

It is most definitely a luxury to go to college. There are so many other options in life.

[@margietucker1719]

It IS a luxury...a super expensive luxury. Most of the trades... plumbers, electricians, etc.actually make far more money than most college grads do. And a huge chunk of college grads don't even go into the field they majored in. Many people are in debt for a huge amount of wasted money. Taking on that kind of debt because of greedy, over-priced tuition is the height of stupidity.

[@Tone.E]

You are so right, best comment on this video by far.

[@f430ferrari5]

If parents are unwilling to save and help their kids through college they never should have had kids. Such irresponsible selfish people. Should be shamed of yourselves.

[@hdtwal1den]

Hope this caller doesn't expect his kids to help him when he's older. Not equipping your children with education or vocational training can leave them with a lack of skills which in turn leads to a lack of income. No, he doesn't HAVE to, but then again, if he needs financial help when he's 75 and his kid still works at Burger King, they won't be able to help much.

[@blk1735]

Exactly

[@garrhetsampson]

That lack of income then translates into so many other struggles. Not being able to get housing, cars, phones. All of which the caller will then blame his kids for not being able to secure due in part to him not setting them up for success.

[@smooth2365]

They still can get a degree but just not funded by mom and dad. It’s prolly resentment that the kid feels to his parents when they are older and say why do I have to help my old parents? But sounds like this dad just financially can’t afford it so that’s a different story.

[@analyticalchick3064]

You can do better than Burger King without college, though. Where I live, people make a killing as bartenders.

[@dcamnc1]

You could set up a normal stock brokerage account too, in case one doesn't go to college. That's what happened with my sister and I. She went to school and I didn't. I used the money for a home down payment. It ended up working out well even without school, as I'm completely debt free, including mortgage, and have almost a million saved/invested.

[@UnlockingYourEnergy]

College is BULL***T

[@bettysmith4527]

If you have the extra disposable money, AND you have a goal oriented, driven kids who is VERY likely to succeed in college, then help them. If they have zero adult goals, and zero idea what they want to do for a future career, let them work full time and go to community college that they cash flow for a little while. Don't be my mother, who offered me zero guidance when I was trying to pay for community college and figure things out, her statement was "I didn't get to go to college so why should you?". She still cannot figure out why I have so much resentment towards her... Don't be that parent, as Dave said, if you cannot offer financial help at least offer some guidance.

[@jasonmoquin]

Absolutely agree.... Associates degrees should be done local on the cheap at community colleges, in my opinion. Both of my older siblings decided to go to college out of state(so no one could watch what they were doing) and relied on our parents to pay for it all. Neither one graduated. They BOTH got crappy grades and dropped out within 3 years. I visited both of them as I was about to enter college(they were still in school), to get a feel for it, and all they cared about was partying. Neither one even got a Bachelor's degree. To me, that was a total waste of my parent's money. Seeing their shenanigans and how much it cost my parents, helped me decide to go to community college, work hard on my grades and get grants and scholarships on my own. What those didn't cover, I paid for myself as I went along by working a warehouse job in the evenings. My folks didn't have to spend a penny on my education or carry me, and the truth is they really couldn't afford to. The other kids wiped out all that money with zero to show for it. My kids are old and out in the world and in their 30's now, but my wife's children are still in their 20's and late teens. The only one in college, the 20 year-old, just washed out of college with an abysmal GPA. He was warned that we would no longer pay a dime for his education if he didn't hold at least a 3.0. After the warning he proceeded to literally do nothing but screw around playing videos games and playing on his phone, failed to show up to over 50% of the lectures for every class, and tanked every course. All the time lying about how he was working hard...he wasn't. How you can fail every single course is a mystery to me. His mother is a Summa Cum Laude graduate(perfect 4.0 through hard-work at age 39...I witnessed it first-hand) that paid her own way. Needless to say, she's absolutely jaded on the topic now, the bank is now closed for business, and I don't blame her. So, if parents don't want to throw money at the lazy aimless ones...I get it. If it's like you described, though; highly motivated, gets good grades and is focused, hell yes help them get there. 👍

[@zippo32123]

this is what my parents did. they paud for my sisters college but didnt pay for mine, so i joined the military, now i make bank with my degree. my dad still needs to go and take my sisters car to have the oil changed and do repairs on ky other sisters house. So yea pay for kids college they wont grow dependent on you

[@deblynn6809]

Community college has been a blessing to my family. They have a bridge program to the 4 year colleges, and we all chose majors that led to actual careers, while staying out of student loan debt.

[@bradw.7168]

No moral obligation, and yes the premise of toughening up your kids through no financial support sounds great, but in reality if your kid pursues a difficult degree good luck thinking they’re going to work 40-60 hours per week plus survive the semester. Save up something so at least you can assist when ends don’t quite meet.

[@blk1735]

I was wondering what Dave major was in college where he was able to work 40-60 hours a week. It definitely wasn't a difficult STEM major, that's for sure.

[@kristencampbell5533]

Yep. I majored in math, minored in English, and I worked 6-12 hours per week just for spending money. Beyond that, I studied...a LOT! My husband studied engineering and studied ALL...THE...TIME....and that's how he had such an excellent GPA, which is also what sets you up for graduate work if you choose it (med school, law school, masters, PhD admissions all highly dependent on undergrad GPA). In some of my English classes I could coast, but certainly not in the STEM stuff. And even some of my English classes, we were reading 20+ hours per week. Many majors outside of STEM have extensive term papers and projects that are not completable to any serious degree in spare time built around working a 40 hour job. But for sure if you want to be a good student in engineering, physics, math, etc. you are certainly not working 40-60 hours a week in a job. School IS your job.

[@rvog6584]

​@@blk1735iirc, dave has a bba in finance. From u.t.

[@mikebrownbassist802]

I took out student loans, and paid them off myself. Those loans set me so far back financially though. I regret college because of it.

[@tylerfred7514]

Yep

[@Anthony-db7cs]

Should have went to Europe

[@NoRegertsHere]

Listening to a lot of these callers, college seems like such a waste when it comes to income, isn’t required for the baby steps to a millionaire and often doubles their out of debt time frame.

[@tmusa2002]

I paid mine off too and would do it again. I need and use my education.

[@rachelharrison7961]

If you choose not to pay or at least help pay for a decent portion, you have to be willing to have a child that chooses not to go to college. For some parents, that’s OK or even preferable, but for others, they may be in for a nasty surprise.

[@nicolcacola]

There are many kids who choose not to go to college, drop out on the parents dime or leave parents with the debt into their retirement years.

[@mikewright2858]

Yeah, these are the kids who just want the "experience" and not the work. If my kid said that, I'd question if they really want to go at all. I am not just going to fork over part of my retirement just because it's "expected". It would bother me if the kid was not willing to go into debt for THEIR education, but are perfectly comfortable with me doing so, as I get close to retirement.

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

To be honest all these parents who can pay for it and refuse to pa, I hope they plan on taking care of themselves and long term care plans. Because those kids should turn around and say I think you will learn more from your retirement and end of life on your OWN

[@TShirtAndReeboks]

That is cold. My parents didn't pay for my siblings or my tuition but we sure would never desert them when they become old and feeble.

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

@@TShirtAndReeboks it is pretty cold to tell an 18 year old to be in debt for 25 years because they think they will learn more by Paying for it themselves. Parents can save and invest for their own retirement and long term care a lot easier than a teenager can come up with college tuition.

[@privacyplease1556]

@@TShirtAndReeboks It’s not about deserting them. They can cash flow their retirement!

[@sharoncampbell4904]

@@TShirtAndReeboks how many children fund their parents' retirements? I bet very few!

[@kouturierecustoms]

If you can help your kids through college, why not do that? As a parent you're setting them up for success .. if you can't financially then that's a different story, but having kids do this the hard way isn't the way.

[@scottbaker9066]

My parents didn't pay for my university education, AND would not fill out a FAFSA --- It really hurt to see my college friends receive funds that their families were sacrificing to provide and mine were not providing - by choice. so i had to do work study, work in the dorm maintenance department, and a few little scholarships. This was harder on my sisters, it kept four of them form a university education and they were just as smart and almost as driven as I was. So it took me an extra year to get an Engineering degree, that greed (resulting in my school poverty) is their legacy and will never be forgotten. We gave our son education funds and living expenses - he never had empty pockets - now a medical researcher.

[@RealityHurts923]

Your kid didn’t choose to be born. The least you could do is provide for them and make sure you can help them be successful. It is selfish that you wouldn’t want to help your kid through college. You own them that for bringing them into this messed up world.

[@busterbrown1686]

The only thing owed is raising them until age 18. Anything after that is a gift from the heart. I don't owe anything and their not entitled to anything. I'm entitled to a retirement I worked hard for.

[@wickedbird1538]

The whole point is to raise your kids to have their best lives. Help comes in various forms.

[@everlovesblue]

My parents paid for our bachelor’s degree. They wanted the best for us so they worked hard to pay our tuition and other expenses in college. Now I am a Lab Scientist and my sister is a GeoScience Engineer with no debt and on track with our financial goals. Thats how they showed their love and support for us and we are forever grateful to God for them.

[@suz7082]

My parents were hardworking and middle class. They paid for reasonable college tuition for 4 kids and we all left college with no debt. Such a blessing. We started saving for our son's college from the time we knew we were pregnant and he just graduated with no debt. A little delayed gratification is all it takes.

[@richardaguirre3719]

If you live in an area where your kids can do two years at the community college and two at a state public university, they can work to help pay for it. You can get it done for $25-30k and not throw away thousands of dollars. It's ok to let them live at home while they complete their college education.

[@pep590]

Precisely!

[@genxx2724]

What does the community college option and living at home have to do with being able to work?

[@richardaguirre3719]

@@genxx2724 it's all about keeping the costs as low as possible. College kids can work part-time jobs and easily earn $10-12k a year which is enough to pay for college. Why waste that money on room and board, or an apartment? It cost a fair amount of money to live on your own. Keeping my college kids at home offsets that cost.

[@genxx2724]

@@richardaguirre3719 I agree. My point is, home or away has no bearing on working.

[@richardaguirre3719]

@@genxx2724 that's true. The only thing I was stressing is that unless there's already college money set aside is that it makes more sense to stay at home and cash flow it.

[@happycamper246]

This guy (Darell) sounds like a real narc. Paying for a pathway to betterment is not spoiling your kid-he's just selfish. Way too many children end up in 100s of thousands of debt because parents can't be bothered to parent. They just leave children to fend for themselves.

[@orangemountain457]

4:24 "Even if I could, should I?" and follows with an annoying chuckle. I bet this caller just wants to be told they are right, something tells me this is the type of person I do not want to know.

[@kamaap]

There is a “earn it with your grades and achievement” that parents like me who need to be heard too.

[@sassysilver4451]

I am saving for my child's education. But there will be strict boundaries on how that money is deployed, and what is okay to study with that money. If you can't monetize it, you can pay for it.

[@biolife3274]

Pay for it if you can. Make life easier for them while they're trying to get there. My road was hard because my dad felt he had to struggle to make it and i had to do the same.

[@alanna2299222]

Love this new cohost! Great addition! You should tell her to look into the camera (or at least not down) when she’s talking though.

[@cbyt8759]

I think they should’ve dug a little bit more into his level of optimism and hoppe regarding his debt. When he mentioned that he didn’t think he would be able to even though he asked 12 years out, it seem more out of anxiety and fear around finances rather than concern about how that affects their work ethic

[@donjohnson1416]

Im with you. I think he may just have a little selfishness in there but it may be FEAR too.

[@1adamvega]

He lives in California, which is probably scaring him to death.

[@willelliott5052]

If the average parent were honest, they might tell their kids, "good luck, because I have chosen to keep a financed late model car in the garage for your entire life instead of planning for your college costs. That is because my shallow desires are far more important to me than your education." And then they will have their friends believe that they were far more sacrificial. We put all of our kids thru college 100%. We only required them to choose a worthwhile major and to perform. They all worked jobs for their discretionary spending, though we did not require that. Of course, If they had partied and wasted our money, that would be a different story. But they knew that, unlike nearly all their friends with student loans, they were afforded a privilege not to be squandered.

[@hdtwal1den]

AMEN!!

[@stevemyopinion423]

or the parent can tell them the truth, i work 60 hour a week, BUT i still can bearly affrord rent so i can not pay for collge

[@tparker4458]

“And if I can, should I ?! Then chuckle” idk dude, if it’s important for your children to struggle that’s on you. But why not help them and give them a better experience than you had ??

[@kman20]

His attitude is “I didn’t get help so why should my kids?”

[@tparker4458]

@@kman20 right. I almost got the feeling he’s jealous of his kids and highly selfish for sure!

[@alexfonseca2063]

This guy doesn’t want to pay for his kids college. Yet, he will be begging them to card for him when he’s old.

[@margietucker1719]

Well, he cared and provided for THEM for at least 18 years! All those years are not done away with because he doesn't pay for college! Sheesh...

[@alexfonseca2063]

@@margietucker1719 He never said he took care of them for 18 years. He said he doesn’t want to pay for their college.

[@unfairsanic5089]

@@margietucker1719 18 years is not enough

[@nikitaLEGALL]

​@@margietucker1719I won't make that assumption. Dude sounds selfish and he wants to do the minimum. There is a big difference between I can't pay and I won't pay.

[@kman20]

This is sad…education is a “luxury”

[@katemiller7874]

It’s a fact of life. It’s so expensive and you can make money at other jobs that don’t require college

[@aprilshields2993]

I know a family who told their kids to get loans. When the semester was over, they reimbursed 100% for every A, 80% for B, 70% for C and nothing after that. Kids also had to work through school, chose the cheapest housing options.

[@zachwalters8001]

I had to pay for my education on my own. Went to undergrad and pharmacy school. Took out alot of loans to do so with no help plus worked as much as I could with the rigor of academics. However, I know a good amount of my colleagues and fellow classmates had help especially those from Asian, Arab, and Indian cultures. It’s about giving your kids aleg up just like dr Delaney stated. They are many ways to teach your kids responsibilities such as making them earn a certain gpa, graduate on time, research activities and a summer job. A lot of those people I mentioned have a very good work ethic and their parents helped with college expenses (some all of it). It’s how you build generational wealth family success. Help assist in their path and they pass it along. Imagine getting out of school with a great degree and no debt! Sets you up for life! Plus interest is a killer on the loans! Helping them along the way can really be of great benefit for them especially allowing them to appreciate their education by focusing more on it instead of working so much.

[@youngblood23rb]

Very well said, in my experiences, work ethic and common sense is more valuable in life than most degrees, my parents and coaches provided me the first two and I took care of the rest.

[@priya1568]

I knew someone who every semester had their kid take out a loan during college, if they got As and Bs, the parents would pay their loan at the end of the semester.

[@89SamanthaA]

This is such a cool idea! I love it!

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

Why is paying for your child’s college going to ruin anyone? I see parents pay for expensive youth activities, expensive family vacations, cellphone, sneakers and clothes. But somehow paying for college is controversial. I think parents do not want to sacrifice and plan and be disciplined to save for their kids college. Lots of parents can’t pay for college. But that is different than I refuse to pay for my kids college.

[@zolozek3327]

A pair of shoes, phones and clothes it's not 100,000$ + expenses from maybe their retirement 😒

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

Save and invest over time. My son is 13. I saved $150/mo for thirteen years in a 529. I was able to convert his 529 to a state prepaid tuition and fees for four years. Now I am working on his housing and food. You save an s invest over time.

[@Salz88]

Kids will VALUE MORE the things they work hard for MORE VS the things that are just given to them, kids these days are so entitled and take many things for granted. Kids need to understand at an early age that you need to work hard for what they want if they really want it. I can understand paying for their cell phone or maybe a used car to help the with transportation ease the pain a little , but not pat for full college, THAT'S A BIG NO. Get good grades and get a scholarship.

[@princesskaitlinhazelwood4703]

@@Salz88 again adults will learn more when they save enough for retirement and long term care by themselves. Don’t depend on roses to the doctor or help when you go into cognitive decline. Save enough for a good attorney and learn term care insurance 🤣

[@6663000]

I agree with the caller. My dad gave me a couple of thousand dollars towards my education, and I was grateful for it. I took out student loans to cover about 90% of the cost, I chose an inexpensive school, I started a small business while I was in school, worked and studied at the same time, and I paid off my entire student loan balance the day after I graduated without paying a penny of interest. If someone else was paying for my education I'm sure I would have picked a more expensive school, I certainly would not have been working and studying at the same time, I would have been more likely to drop out, etc. etc.

[@6663000]

Furthermore, college is not for everyone. Most people would be better off working right out of highschool, maybe going to a trade school or pursuing some further education later in life once they have some money saved up and some experience in the real world. The number of people going into tremendous debt or spending a bunch of their parents money on a liberal arts degree and then going to work in a restaurant or something is ridiculous.

[@Mactakun]

My parents didn’t pay for my college. I think the problem with saving for college is that if you tell your kids, you give them the expectation of going to college. Instead of paying for “college”, pay for education (can include college), experiences, interests. Pay for what your kids want to do, but don’t give the expectation of what they need to do.

[@LegDayLas]

Having a college fund doesn't mean you need to pay for college. It means you have the option if it suits the child. If it's clear the child will/is abusing the fund, take whats left back. And for the love of god do not force them to go if they claim they want to follow a different path. Also It's clear this guy doesn't have a spoiled kids concern, he self admits that he just can't (or rather doesn't want to) afford it.

[@jasonhutchens4420]

I 100% agree that a parent should not feel obligated put there child through college however calling just to say you don't want help your child even if you could kind of makes you a d-bag.

[@georgewagner7787]

Untrue. You don't owe children anything. If they work and go to community college they will feel proud. If you're rich, pay part of it

[@jasonhutchens4420]

@@georgewagner7787 - I said in my comment that you are not obligated to put your kids through college. I just think the person that would go out of his way to call to say he wasn't going to pay for his kids college is a d-bag.

[@johnmartin4641]

@@georgewagner7787 “my children didn’t choose to be born, I chose to have children. They owe me nothing, I owe them everything”-Elon Musk. The vast majority of people I’ve seen raised the way you describe have accomplished nothing. I’ve seen that strategy fail way more than I’ve seen it succeed. I had my college paid for by my parents and retired in my 50s while other people I know that were raised that way are still working in their 60s. Someone even posted a link in another video’s comment section from this channel to a study that shows that people who have their parents pay for their college go on to be more successful than those who pay their own way. What will make them proud is to graduate from a higher tier university with no debt and get a good paying job and start a family of their own, not working for less pay and debt.

[@FooFan-b3k]

This guy is looking for Dave to tell him it's ok not to put money away for his kid to make himself feel better. For him it's not a matter of should I or shouldn't I, it's a matter of he can't afford to and feels bad about it. Ironically, he's throwing out there the idea that not paying for college will make his kids better off. Is that because he didn't turn out so well?

[@genxx2724]

He’s treating it as all or nothing. He could invest what he can for college along the way. For goodness sake, he said it’s 12 years away. So he’s already being defeatist when his kid is six years old? 🙄 Perhaps he doesn’t even have what it takes to instill character in a child.

[@f430ferrari5]

No no. He can afford it. He just doesn’t want to set money aside. He’s putting his kid at a disadvantage over others kids. It’s hard to work and study at the same time. It’s amazing for those who do it though.

[@NoRegertsHere]

It’s a weird American culture to pay for their children to go to college. My parents should enjoy the money they earned. At 18, I was an adult.

[@FooFan-b3k]

@@NoRegertsHere America is one of the few countries that charges for college. So this isn't like parents in some countries don't help their kids with tuition, but in America we do. No other parents around the world are faced with this situation.

[@kayn2756]

I'm 42 and have nothing saved up for retirement. My oldest just started university and ive decided to cash flow her tuition balance that the scholarship didn't cover. I still owe 11k on my own student loans. I'm ok with the choices I'm making. I guess I'll be working till I drop dead.

[@WilliamPayneNZ]

This is an interesting subject. I am not American. I am a New Zealander. Here there is not and never has been the cultural expectation for parents to pay for university. People are expected to go out and get it themselves.

[@sapphireblue1013]

Yeah it's called responsibility. Unfortunately the entitlements are real here and so so sad.

[@kmama802]

I want my kids to come out of college with a clean slate. No high interest loans. It will decrease what they get when we pass away but I hope they will see the sacrifice we made to give them a good start

[@jv6miata]

I have 2 siblings. Of all of them, I was the only one who didn't get any assistance or any chance to go to college when I graduated high school. My dad didn't transfer his 20 year GI bill to any of us so it would've come out of his pocket. My sister dropped out of college, my brother graduated but never did anything with his degree, I didn't get the chance to go because my dad believed that because I spent my own earned money on my hobbies (cars) that he shouldn't be obligated to pay for my college because I wasted my own money. I worked full time high school. Out of all of us, I was the only one to be able to make my way out of my parents house by myself. Yes I worked hard, but the fact I was basically denied the ability to go to college for my own field I am in now still rubs me the wrong way.

[@maxxlaw4081]

Paying for college in 2022 is very difficult! I’m a student at USC and it’s almost impossible with todays salaries. Yes, my tuition is fully paid for and that doesn’t include food and housing etc….. I never received a dime from anybody!

[@VoiceBox24]

not receiving a "dime" from others isn't a flex.

[@pryscillalee6264]

💪

[@genxx2724]

You chose an expensive school.

[@maxxlaw4081]

@@VoiceBox24 I meant not from parents!

[@maxxlaw4081]

@@genxx2724 True, school is paid, it’s the living expenses that gets you in 2022. Also, most people think full ride scholarships means everything is paid, not true!

[@SilverDahliaHearts]

Why is it all or nothing? How about saving for a portion of the costs. Have high expectations for their future and help them to figure out how to get there. We saved to cover the tuition portion and my children were responsible for their living expenses. Scholarships, working and studying hard made them successful.

[@joechang8696]

Children need to understand the seriousness of college as not a place to party for four years+. Four years of college debt may be too much for a person to overcome. I suggest trying to pay the first two years. After, they should take loans on their own if they are committed. They should be able to pay off the loans

[@daraghmorrissey]

dave is spot on - one thing to think about is not paying for it all or help them pick the right college that works better financially - like in state. My kid wanted to go to the opposite coast to where we live so I said I'll cover in state but you're going to have to cover the rest and flights home.

[@luannkelly5071]

Pay half, matching funds.

[@transplantedtex4151]

College of the Oxarks is free. Known as Hard Work U. They have a farm gift shop and gourmet restaurant. Work on campus and tuition is waived

[@nathanielcarreon5634]

Lived a frugal life to be able to send our kids to private colleges with some scholarship. It is our life priority. Both are now professionals earning very good money.

[@genxx2724]

Bravo! 🥂🍾

[@GuitarGangsterArmi]

I wish you were my dad.

[@RedBarnFinancialTV]

My parents gave us an allowance toward college. If we wanted the more expensive school then we could pay the rest.

[@Anthony-db7cs]

Well, you could always move abroad to a country that values education or hope your child doesn't want a career that wants higher education.

[@rafaelrivera5643]

I’m 21 putting myself through nursing school no FASFA due to parents IRS problems. Toughen up and be smart

[@DR.Detroit11]

What I am not falling in line with is the easy card for Dad because he can't put the pencil to it....it seems like that could also be a cop out for men who don't want to work or think harder!

[@susanahollenback1518]

You also need to be prepared for them to say they don’t want to go to college since they’re the ones who will have to finance it.

[@AvatarEnd777]

I want to wait and see what major they pick, how they apply themselves, and what choices they make. I would rather save the money and pay off their student loan debt if they make good choices.

[@wally8787]

I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan when it comes to helping people get out of debt. However, Baby Step #5 is wrong. You are vastly oversimplifying the post-secondary education decision. I hear you when you say, "Most of our parents want to help their kids go to college." That reminds me of a short survey I read last week. Q Should every high school graduate go to college? A Eighty percent answered, "Of course not. That's ridiculous." Q Should your child go to college? A Eighty percent answered, "Definitely." Well, most of those parents are wrong. They should be thinking, "How can I guide Junior to transition from being a dependent adolescent to a financially independent adult?" The data shows COLLEGE IS NOT THE ANSWER FOR THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHILDREN. College is a competition. There are only so many "college" jobs, well-paying, professional positions, available each year. W-A-Y too many high school graduates opt for college. For most of these students, college is a HUGE waste of time and money. Financial Peace University shouldn't be encouraging parents to squander money. Here are the outcomes for the students who matriculate: Forty percent drop out. Thirty-one percent graduate but end up underemployed, e.g. making lattes. Only twenty-nine percent succeed, graduate and score a well-paying, professional job. There are plenty of jobs that will provide a "breadwinner" salary that don't require a four-year degree. Most of them do require some kind of post-secondary education, but that education doesn't need to cost six figures. Notes The study I'm using here, the results recently published in the WSJ, is by The Burning Glass Institute and the Strada Education Foundation. Aptitudes matter. A high school graduate with a 3.0 GPA, who matriculates, only graduates from college 50% of the time. If they do manage to graduate in something or other, they still have to compete with the smart kids for a "college" job to succeed. My source for this statistic is Who Graduates from College? Who Doesn't? The fact that Dave's three kids turned out OK is not statistical "proof" of anything.

[@s1234pro]

I don't believe I would call a college education a "luxury".

[@nicolcacola]

It is a luxury, which is why it shouldn't be publicly funded.

[@scarpfish]

I know a lot of people without one who are doing just fine because they learned a marketable skillset instead of aimlessly taking every 100 level course on "something something studies".

[@WoodyJ98]

@@nicolcacolanot really. Nowadays it is almost needed to make enough to raise a family. It is essentially 13th-16th grade

[@thehedgerow]

I had to pay for my own college. Went to a community one and got an associates degree because it was what I could afford at the time. I have no problem helping my kids though. We do what is best for us, and what we think is right for us.

[@JakeStewart1343]

5:22 My parents never spoke to me about "Left handed puppetry." 😔

[@erinblu8551]

I had to struggle my way through and it was hard. But we're paying for our kids and they are taking it seriously.

[@gonegolfn1475]

A good alternative route is to have you child(ren) take out a student loan and upon graduating offering to pay that off if the degree was beneficial

[@annehazzard1897]

What about sharing the cost? We expected our children to earn and save a percentage of their post secondary education costs. They learned real life lessons doing this. We were also saving for their education. And guess what Dave, they turned great, learned about money, responsibility and were extremely proud of what they accomplished at school and in their bank accounts. A family should determine the realistic percentages that the parents and the children can contribute.

[@therationalistparty9742]

My wife and I decided against the direct college savings for our son and simply started a custodial IRA so he has an early start in life period.

[@im_br0ke]

U can do partial, they pay a portion. Or wut my patents did was help with getting a car for college so i could commute then i took the blunt of tution.

[@arleenm7367]

I went into the military to pay for my college. It's not for everyone, but it is an option.

[@margietucker1719]

That's what my brother did. He let the military pay for it. Stayed in 10 years for that. Has PhD in physics, and is a physics professor. People don't need to sink themselves into debt. The students OR the parents.

[@abetterlivedlife]

That's the route I went. Still ended up with a crazy amount of debt and I walk funny. I don't want to tell people they have to risk their life in order to go to school.

[@pep590]

I did as well Arleen. I salute you.

[@amykimmet-humfeld1924]

My daughter has asthma, and my stepson has a heart condition. Unfortunately, it's not an option for everyone.

[@Anthony-db7cs]

Or you could just go to another developed country that actually invests in higher education.

[@PrettyINCs]

There is no moral obligation to help your kids pay for education or other adult expenses. There is no moral obligation for adult kids to help with their parent’s elder care. It’s one thing if you can’t vs if you won’t.

[@WoodyJ98]

I actually disagree. If you have a kid knowing what the cost of college is, and how important it is to have a degree, and how it’s impossible to make that money in HS, then you do have a moral obligation to provide. The kid didn’t choose to be here- you forced him into the world. That doesn’t change just because he is 18

[@OTOWN2STOCKTOWN]

DR says kids are productive - goes on employing them all himself

[@pep590]

Yes and I bet he wouldn't hire them and definitely would not keep them on if they were not killing it. There must be tremendous pressure to please Dave. You didn't think your comment thru at all. This isn't Dave's washer and dryer fix it shop.

[@ulrikekaiser305]

@@pep590 They are parrots

[@reniedavisson8532]

I feel like it's important to give the children that you brought into this world some kind of legacy. It's all about setting your kids up for success. If college will help them become successful, that's a wonderful gift to give.

[@ncisept5900]

If you can, why not.

[@OrioleBeagle]

I know a woman who paid for her children to go to community college and she told them if they wanted to get their four year degrees they were on their own.

[@dwill9256]

My parents paid for nothing. I had really good friends that believed in me to co-sign student loans.

[@DerekTJ]

From Ireland, the US college fees are mind boggingly crazy. It's basically free here, but for college maintenance contributions of around €3k pa. There's also a grant available if you qualify.

[@salvatorecetrulo4282]

having student loans increase stress and that ruins you. if you can afford it, why not?

[@paulk9985]

Colleges and universities may not be teaching this these days: life is full of stress.

[@salvatorecetrulo4282]

@@paulk9985 they dont be teaching anything except how to keep you within the paradigms of the system. biggest waste of 50k. if i have children they will not step foot into a university ever

[@naou4030]

Nope. My daughter is 12 and we pay for her school- about 30k a year. When she goes to uni i wont pay all of it, but i damn well sure will help her out in whatever way i can.