Things about Relationships I wish someone told me about

people are weird sometimes
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Music: March of Spoons by Kevin Macleod
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And this tells me you read the description, which means you respect what I have to say! Thank you :D wishhya the best!

[Headphone Dog]

I love how Jaiden’s channel is a mix of stupid funny life stories and just really deep topics like how to deal with emotions

[Out of the box]

God is responsible for my ecosystem also :))

[Rid99]

and it works really well

[CesarSaladBowl]

and gaming sprinkled in

[Fairybread]

SO TRUE ITS PERFECT

[Fairybread]

Yeah.I think that to ☆w☆

[mikawa]

I actually really like how Jaiden is letting us know that we can’t sugarcoat everything and that some relationships just can’t be fixed if they treat you like doo doo.

[a very holy uh hole-y biscuit]

@Nav M With a side of bitter melon for the harsh truth :D

[Nav M]

time to coat it with salt :D

[Sam]

Yeah, I had a friend that I hadn’t talked to for months or a year because they were toxic and I found better people, I saw them at Target a couple months ago and we tried to hang out the next day and she wouldn’t use my correct name or pronouns, so I walked home for two hours with two backpacks full of art supplies that I brought.

[Aliyah Pooran]

true dat

[Chiaki Nanami]

3 years later I come back to this because i miss someone that hurt me, this video really helps me remember that it was the right thing to leave them.

[The Black family]

Same, they still want to be my friend and it is so awkward

[Quincy Chen]

Yeahhh

[Vixy Skonk]

@Δ "making fun of people because of their interests that don't harm or affect anyone else in any way doesn't make you cool or edgy, bud" 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓

[moonlight]

The reason I came back was to see if my friend was a good friend or not

[Simion Leva]

Wholesome

[UniGaming]

The hardest part of the discussion is that we often talk about how to see this behavior in others, but never how to identify it in ourselves. Instead, we are all given the impression that we're fine and it's OTHER people who are the problem.

[mira kammerer]

yess

[UniGaming]

@Nick Dahl agreed. In high school I always blamed everyone else. But eventually I realized I was often the problem. You can't expect people with negative traits to improve if we don't encourage everyone to reflect. We all have something we can change for the better

[Nick Dahl]

self awareness is a crucial skill in building healthy relationships: that's why it's important to have good friends over the course of life that are not afraid of calling out your bullshit and thus help you build it to a level where you can trust in some capacity that you're not lying to yourself or painting things with TOO much bias (it's essentially impossible to not do this in some capacity) but obviously not everyone is that lucky or has the right skill set/ courage to do so. Empathy as well I feel can be incredibly useful in helping discern the situation but as the video pointed out: if you're constantly making excuses for why someone is treating you a certain way or defending their choice of actions to people you know love you and also know them, it's probably a red flag.

[mikpin on string]

So, 3 years later and after a very hard hitting Stardew Valley session with friends, I decided to come back to this video….and my God does it hit different once you’ve just had the rose tinted glasses slapped off your face. I had watched this video so many times, agreed with it and acknowledged it but even I didn’t even realise that I’ve been stuck in this cycle of rationalising and making excuses and full on blaming myself for someone else’s blunders. It just doesn’t make sense why such a small thing which I had originally convinced myself would blow over would instead be the start of the full tear down of my jenga tower of a long lasting friendship. Maybe the thought had been hanging around my head the entire time but it just needed that one crack for it to finally come through and make me realise: “Holy shit I’m miserable.” There’s still a part of me that wants to believe that everything is fine and that we could be friends as we used to be but after such a slap in the face, I realise that it’s just me being caught up in nostalgia and fear rather than rationality. It’s not selfish to acknowledge that you’ve been hurt. I’m still coming to terms with that. Even if the person isn’t aware of the damage they’re doing, it doesn’t excuse what they’ve done and it doesn’t mean that your feelings are all better. Sometimes you have to leave even if it’ll hurt both you and them. If anything, it’ll benefit. You’ll be free from such a relationship and maybe they’ll get the reality check and realise the consequences of their actions. You can’t control everyone. We have free will which just means that we’re bound to make mistakes and use it to be assholes. Don’t waste your energy trying to fix something that refuses to be fix because it really isn’t your responsibility. It’ll be hard for me to deal with especially when our lives are so intertwined and we’ve known each other for a decade and a bit more, but, I think I’ll finally be able to breathe a bit easier. I don’t hate them per se, but I’m not obligated to stay and I need some time to tend to my own eco system again. Thank you so much for this video, Jaiden

[adele]

I had basically the same experience rewatching this^^

[adele]

@Leon Gaming ....me :')

[aish.]

you're doing great

[Carbonate Prime]

@Dave Cullins I am not taking anyone's side but did you tell him that he was behaving in a way you felt bad / uncomfortable? Without saying "I am sorry I am the problem I couldn't be a good friend" type comment Cause sometimes people just need a reality check If that person does like you after you say what you truly feel they will change (Not that you have to say if you don't want to) if they truly care for you People sometimes just overlook and never tell others what is it that they are doing wrong Sometimes it's best to be blunt seriously it saves time and energy Cause after that you will can see ither he can change or not (not like change can occur in a matter of minutes but ya) And Seriously I am not taking any side I just wanted to tell something I thought No need to reply.

[Fatboy_Jarred]

Real

[CoffeeCup]

Sent this to my friend cause this helped me identifying a toxic relationship. I felt this explained it perfectly and now she’s realising “she isn’t personally responsible for anyone’s happiness!” And is thinking critically of the relationship. I want to say thank you Jaiden, thank you for helping younger me and now my younger sister

[Ozymandias]

My health teacher played this in class, best teacher ever

[LapinaJustLeft]

can we trade?

[دُعَاء، 💋]

W teacher

[SourShake]

Lucky

[Raquel Martins]

Good teachers what thier students to be happy 😊

[Simion Leva]

Weird

[Dabdab The third]

Being “selfish” really made me realise that sacrificing your mental well-being is way too normalised

[Spookworm]

I have shared this video.. I don't even know how many times, since you posted it 3 years ago. I don't remember how I found it, but anytime my loved ones are struggling with a toxic person, this is what I send them. Thank you. You spoke words I never could.

[Karast Kaith]

Ahah i do the same, unfortunately i came for myself today as i clearly needed a refresh

[joshskier]

I come back to this video every so often. And it made me realize the toxic behavior I was exhibiting. I got stuck in a pattern of behaving in a certain, depressive way because it felt like it was the only way to get attention out of one of my favorite people. I didn't even realize what I was doing to them by oozing my toxic landscape into their salad, and taking advantage of their empathy. Years later our friendship is stronger than ever, and I attribute this video as the main reason I noticed how crimson my flag was before it was too late. Remember it's not only others you can manipulate and rationalize for, in fact - at least for me - it's even easier to do it to yourself. Love yourself, and others will love you too. Manipulation doesn't have to be negative, so pretend to be the person you want to be. You'll find you really are that person. Thank you, Jaiden.

[moony]

Even though in many situations this would certainly help people, I think it also contributes to a line of thought many people follow these days of ending meaningful relationships out of reasons that often could be solved if you chose to talk about it. I think people often skip the talking about it step and jump right to breaking up relationships & friendships, which in the end leads to a society full of lonely people with merely superficial relationships.

[Fifi]

@moony Thank you ^o^ yea i always aim to be lucid and honest to myself and be aware of my shortcomings. My gf has helped me a lot in realizing things about myself too, thats what honest communication does :)

[moony]

@Fifi i think it's cool you turned it around! Not many manage to do self-realization like that. Good luck!

[Fifi]

This! I used to be too quick in cutting people off without even communicating in the first place and have severely hurt others like that. Though I've changed now. I mean I am literally lonely at this point i cant just run around cutting people off my life randomly. I have my first relationship now and at first i almost ruined it bc of that.

[Un árbol]

I agree. I think you should consider leaving that relationship after you have done everything you can to fix it. If the other person doesn't put the effort or doesn't show intention of communicate properly like you do, then leaving might be the healthiest choice.

[AJ Playful]

I have repeated the sentence “you are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness” to myself so many times over the years so I decided to find this video again and it’s exactly what I need right now because I started to feel I was responsible for helping my friend I’m hopefully going to talk to her tomorrow I know no one is seeing this but wish me luck

[J040PL7]

@AJ Playful it's fine to help people if it makes you feel good, but some people don't want help, don't go near those people

[Audrey Awesomeness]

@AJ Playful That's good

[AJ Playful]

@Audrey Awesomeness it went pretty well i don't think we'll be as close as we were but thats honestly a good thing because we both need some space atm

[Audrey Awesomeness]

How did it go?

[Hayai]

Jaiden: "No one wakes up and is like 'haha im gonna be super manipulative today!'" Politicians: *Watch me*

[BlackOut4]

true, most manipulative people dont do it conciously, but people like politicians actually do, it's part of their job in fact, atleast during elections, but probably at any given time also.

[mateo panza]

very much true

[froge]

watch "The Rules for Rulers" by CGP Grey and you'll realize it applies to politicians as well.

[TheSassi42]

They'd be very serious about it now. Being manipulative is their job after all

[Rotko Gaming]

I came back to this video to reflect on my relationship with a group, and it helped me realise how badly they treated me, it's been a week and I feel strangely free after getting out of that toxic mess

[CallMeSnow]

"Someone shouldn't ever need you. They should want you." - Jaiden You won't ever get how much this single phrase from an animation helped me in life.

[DJindahouse]

I wish i saw this video sooner man, after me and my gf broke up she made everything sound like its my fault while i tried to explain we had no communcation (which she denied) i started to feel like shit and thought that it was my fault till i saw this video and realised that it wasnt, im now feeling better than ever ty jaiden for this video

[insanityizgood]

This was what made me realize one of my sisters is extremely abusive & gave me the courage to block her. My mental health is so much better now!! Thank you Jaiden!

[J040PL7]

Learn stoicism and no one will be able to influence you, sure blocking helps, but if you learn to be anti fragile, negative people will have no power over you and will leave themselves.

[ariana davis]

hey jaiden! i know this is an old video and the chances of you seeing this are luck, but i want to be completely honest. this video helped me get through the past few years of my life. i went through some shit, and would probably be stuck in that toxic environment if i didn’t watch this and recognize emotional abuse from your video. so, thank you for opening my eyes and changing my life for the better

[Animation City!]

Jaiden:”You dont have to solve other people’s problems” Me: *Looks at math* “Well, if you say so…”

[Sheer]

We will never know how much cups of jelly Billy can give out to the class.

[Ilona Nowak]

@Funny video "guy" I'd like to remaind that logic is part of math. You'll need that.

[SilverTheDruid]

okay, that's a grey area

[YOUR_NEWSAVIOR!]

Another Grey area

[Do]

LOL

[SUBJECT-03]

After watching this I asked myself if I was being manipulative. I was so up my own ass that I didn't even realize that I was being manipulative; so I have to find a way to set boundaries between what my friends can do and should do for me. Thanks Jaiden.

[Ovidio Studios]

Seeing this video after what I've been through with a toxic friend.... It hurts me because I had those exact feelings I thought he could do no wrong... because I labeled him as a good person But he's really just a lying snake in the grass because he managed to turn me against my own mother and family. Hell, I kept apologizing for every fight we had, even though most of them were his fault. I'm just hit really personal with this video, and I love it Edit: I'm a bit happy and a bit sad for all the likes this comment got. It's so bittersweet in a way. It's happy and sweet because people listened to me and didn't say "bro, stop being dramatic" for expressing myself. But I'm sad and bitter because this shows how many people either had or have this experience. I had my own for a year, and I'm now confused about how I'm gonna change for the better because I'm so used to having that friend that it's a bit hard to move on. I'm sharing all this because this video, along with a lot of stuff, has hit me hard in a personal aspect. When I first saw the video, I didn't think much of it. I just thought "oh new jaiden video." But now, after experiencing that stuff for myself (a toxic and manipulative friendship), I start to understand this video a lot, and it hurts sometimes. No, I didn't think I could see through manipulation, but I didn't think I could be manipulated. It wasn't until I began to turn against my own family and even mother that I realized he screwed me over. I might do a video talking more about my own experience (no, that's not clout. I had the idea for a while) but this comment is a bit of a simplified version. Trust me, when you're in a manipulative relationship, your mental state can get messed up. Either that or it's just me. Either way, thanks for all the likes. And I'm so sorry to those who had the same sad experience as I did. Hope those who ended things with their toxic friends are doing better now.

[Ovidio Studios]

@aish. thank yoi, and I'm glad you have or are healing from that experience as well

[aish.]

i too had the the same experience. i'm sure you'll heal, it's a process. much love

[Ovidio Studios]

@Simple human🇺🇦 thank you

[Simple human🇺🇦]

@Ovidio Studios I’m doing okay now, and hope that you’re also doing great)

[Ovidio Studios]

@Simple human🇺🇦 At the time of that friendship, I made a new friend. However my toxic friend was my main priority and I didn't talk to my other online friend for a while. Even with the red flags, I didn't leave that guy until 2022. We've both had had experiences with toxic friends, but that's what makes us learn the hard way. It's bad we had to suffer with those people, but at least now we can try to avoid them with our own experiences I'm sorry you had (or have) a toxic friendship, and I hope you're doing better now

[Tweeprine]

The sheer fact that the chatacter who says "Haha, I'm gonna be super manipulative today" has Himiko Toga's hair makes it so much funnier, thanks x)

[Rebecca Taylor]

This video is such a good analogy on what a healthy relationship/friendship is. I know someone just like the person in the examples and I've only just realised now that it's not right and now that I've put a stop to it I feel much better. More people need to see this video cause it can help so many people. Such an amazing video

[Abigail Bowen]

Wow needed that. I broke off a relationship with a friend years ago and now she's trying to rekindle it, going so far as following me to college. I know she's not changed, but it's hard to let go even when you know that person has hurt you time and time again. The more I think about it, the more exhausted I get. Wish me luck

[The Lone Individual]

@Elzar We so often stumble across shady people. This is why before starting a solid relationship with someone or before we end up trusting the wrong person, we must seek solitude so that we can get a better understanding of both ourselves and of the human nature as well. I also made a mistake thinking the wrong person was my soulmate. Now I am wiser. And so are you.

[The Lone Individual]

Good luck! I've been in a friendship where the other side just dumped me for no good reason. We used to have our disagreements but I always tried to better myself. But I ended up dumped...it is not easy to let go, but, trust me, over time the attachment fades and you will be able to behold fresh horizons.

[Kito Illustrates]

Good luck, hope you can get her to stop soon! I'm sure you'll find someone who really helps and respects you

[Elzar]

I too managed to get out of a toxic relationship over a year ago. the first few weeks are so hard since a part of your life is practically gone. looking back it's the best decision i made, wish i had the hindsight i have now all the way back then to prevent such abusive behaviour

[sylveon]

hope you’re able to do what’s best for you and not get your boundaries broken.

[Apple Pie]

Anyone else super afraid that they're being manipulative towards others without noticing?

[Proob]

Me too😢

[Proob]

Yep

[I’m just Ghasty]

A little too much now…

[𝓔𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽]

Of course. I feel scared that im a jerk to the people around me even though I dont want to.

[Stickman]

My "friend" who I've known for 6 years now was pretty close with me When we got to different schools we still talked but not as often. Eventually i had to vent about something to her cuz i was feeling shitty and my parents think an actual therapist is too expensive. And my friend has been telling everyone about it, ive tried to tell her to stop but she didn't. So im kind of trying to cut off contact with her since she doesn't listen to me and tells my personal stuff to random people. But my mom is insisting on keeping contact with her since I've known her for 6 years and "my friends will always be thete for me" Ngl This shit can be hard sometimes

[Eugenija Stirbiai]

Ive known a friend since I was a baby.(correction weve been friends for 10 years) but when we entered fourth grade thats where things started to get shitty. She became more competitive. We fought a lot. She put me down. She felt jeoules(idk how to spell it). One time I was at her place and she showed me this painting that she had made and said how much she didnt like it expecting comfort from me. I thought the painting was ugly too And I said,, yeah it looks a bit off". She got angry. She said,, how dare You! Artists work Hard And u have the odacity to tell me its a bit off?! " I imidietly felt bad but thats where I started to realise somethings off. I started hearing her talk shut behind my back. Puting me down. I didnt want to reaply to her texts. I always tried to do my best to impres her but nothing worked. And then when fourth grade eneded and summer break started... Ive had enough. She had a trip to America New York and I asked her if shes still in our country and This is what she said.... ,, yeah and why do u care? "... ... At that point.. I decided that this is the day. We argued for like 30 min and I finaly said,, Ive had enough. You can forget about me caus were not friends Anymore. Summer ended and she became even worse. She talked behind every single person she knew. She used everyone and even had a group on snapchat where she and my few classmates gossip about us and me. I have trust issues now and When ever I meet a New person I always watch them if theyre a good friend. I dont trust anyone and the only friend I can trust is my pet rabbit. So I knew her for 10 years! And.. That shouldnt be an exciuse for you to not break up with her. You should end things with her if u think shes aint worth it. I hope you got the messege. Goodbye

[Hailey B]

This helped me very much when I first got with my girlfriend, I’ve never been in a relationship before that and I wanted to understand how it would work, so I found this video and we watched it together. We still have a very good relationship and keep each other in check with this stuff. Thank you for your videos!

[thefriendlyjb]

the part which starts at 4:00 perfectly described the situation between me and my ex gf. She had a very bad mental health and a lot of problems too and I at times would feel responsible for her happiness. I even felt bad for not being able to solve her problems and help her. It ended up getting really shitty for both of us. She couldn‘t accept that she (or rather her mental health) was the one standing in the way of our relationship. I ended up questioning me and my actions even though I have a very strong mental health

[Dev Hour]

3 years later, and I brought this up to my therapist in a conversation about maintaining mental health in relationships. Happily re-watched, sent it to her, aaaaaand apparently the ecosystem analogy was strong enough to imprint on me a recall this much later. Freakin' stellar job with visuals.

[E]

@Krysgann1 oh damn

[Krysgann1]

So I asked someone which kind of your / you're it is and apparently I've been doing it wrong all this time

[E]

@Krysgann1 yes.

[Krysgann1]

@E really?

[E]

@Krysgann1 You’re*

[Eggmon -]

As someone who has been in some abusive relationships: as soon as you realise it’s abusive, please try and leave. The abuser is going to negatively impact your ecosystem and the longer you let them do that, the harder it’s going to be to fix. Don’t try and convince yourself that it’s your fault and they’re going to change. You deserve to be happy and in order to find that, you have to get rid of the things that hurt you. If you can’t stand up for yourself you’re going to fall. Best of luck.

[Eat Me]

"I'm sorry I have to cut you off. I'm not responsible for your happiness." "You're literally my therapist I pay you 250 an hour"

[Alex Cronin]

technically hes not responsible for your happiness either.

[Der Mond]

I'm proudly your like number 4000 even tho i didn't even read the comment at all.

[staarfish]

I SMILED HAHA

[_Douma_]

lol

[Julia 36]

This video literally saved my life, I remember watching this every day, even multiple times a day, when I was in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend and this gave me part of the strength to finally do it, the relationship was toxic, and he ticked off most of the things mentioned in this video. I'm just glad I did it, I'm in a better place mentally now, I just wanted to thank you for spreading this information out :)

[Zippy Hess]

I know this is 3 years old but all this information and advice is very valuable and helpful. I think everyone on the planet could use information like this and as someone who’s needed to set boundaries and abide by other’s boundaries as well, I say thank you for this video. Good luck everyone

[luxurioussleep]

Looked for this again to help my bf! He just got out a toxic friendship and im trying to help him feel like its not his fault she acted like that So glad jaiden made this:)

[NotLEGO]

@lixwqqw.__ she said toxic friendship not relationship

[lixwqqw.__]

Please take care :) sometimes it’s not good to date a person who got straight out of a relationship

[Amar Birdi]

I've found myself saying "thank you Jaiden" both times after I'd finished watching this video just because of how helpful it's been during the times when I really needed to get my head straight about people in my life, it's so well spoken

[Covah86]

I watched this, and I wasn't even aware that I was watching this until I realised that this is exactly what I needed to hear. I'm not even sure how I found myself on KZbin at this time. But here we are. Thank you.

[Lily Netter]

Can we talk about how amazingly smooth and professional jaidens animations are

[Kin Sun]

NO!!

[Pumpkaboo Gaming 🎃]

She is incredibly talented. :)

[•Rita Pizza•]

the whole part with the blonde girl and the black haired girl was honestly so fluid I could feel what they were feeling

[Greg Boardman Band]

I'm trying to become a romance song writer. Need to change my lyrics around. Hope you find something you like.

[Naya A.]

This video has genuinely been one of my favorite moments in media for forever. It has changed how I think in the best way possible and I frequently refer back to it in certain situations. If you’re going to watch one video on your phone for your whole life.. I recommend this one. Jaiden portrays significant concepts so perfectly and in a way that’ll influence people positively. This video will never get old, the facts will only get truer.

[Shelly B]

I random rewatched this recently and it was what pushed me over the edge to stop my on again off again relationship. I feel so much better with her, and its all because of this video lol

[the baker of banana bread]

Oof, this was simultaneously very helpful and very entertaining and well animated and edited. Great job! I need to go make an apology!

[Throw Away]

I watch this video every time I need a reminder of why I should not go back to the relationship that was hurting me

[☆Itz_Lunar☆]

4:02 i’ve dealt with this in my life fairly recently, thank you so much Jaiden for being able to tell me this kind of stuff, i was able to finally get away from the toxic relationship i was in and i’m finally free

[Wine Is For The Soul ♡]

Now that I'm out of a toxic relationship, this video hits different.

[Frantic Doodles]

M o o d

[AKM Animates]

Agreed

[FoldingComet :3]

Yea for real Ik this reply section is old I just wanted to share, maybe someone is willing to read I had a friend who i loved since 4th grade (ill call them B1) After 6th grade things begun to decend B1 would say little things that would hurt I would vent to them about something and they'd give me brutally honest answers that weren't what i needed (For example i had a body inage issue and their response was for me to stop eating burgers all the time "i'm just saying") Multiple times I sad we were done and called off the friendship Only to get sucked back in again and become friends We would write stories together and we had a whole world where we would escape to from the lives we lived And i loved it... Until... Highschool Like a switch they seemed to get worse and worse, more distant and more distant I would say "hiiii" in the halls, get a half assed wave, and they'd walk away And other times i'd get ignored completely During the summer of my freshman year I only hung out with them once over the course of the 3 months But B1 dragged their new friends with them, so i was often the 3rd wheel, being left out But then... it all got worse. December came (3rd month in on my sophomore year in High School) And... Shit hit the fan I wont go into too much detail, but long story short i ended the friendship And after an unalive scare, and hearing my other best friend cry for the first time...(ill call her B2 for clarification) i went to bed that December 7th unable to sleep B2's cries were stuck in my head for weeks In fact, the first week of that December replays in my head like a record And countless dreams where we became friends again It hurt so much seeing them replace me within a week And they even tried coming up to me and apologizing I constantly ask myself if this decision was the right one And I constantly look back, and cant help but wish for the times we would do RP's with my dolls And play video games together I miss it so much... Thanks if you read this

[Tzugma]

Real

[Laceyanimation]

FACTS

[Zebitus]

This hits hard, I was really good friends with 2 people and I felt they were the best. But over time and my pettiness I created a toxic environment and didn't talk it through or think it through far enough to be nice and non-toxic, which is really unfair for them and I fucked up. But now through time i've been able to be nicer but even then I still need to work on myself.

[Anastasia Akopova]

omg, this animation is better than most of popular psychological self-help videos i've seen

[Logan Corder]

Admittedly, this was the dose of reality I needed. I have a friend of mine who I love very much, but it's been hard to substantiate whether the relationship is toxic. Thing is, it's pretty obvious it is, and my friends see it too. Love the ecosystem analogy

[Andrew Wallner]

Literally my favorite video on the entire internet. Its nice to watch this from time to time to refresh what I should be doing with my life. Thank you for that.

[Paperfoxxx]

I watched this video a while ago and thought I’d notice if I got treated like this. Watching it now way to many of these points hit home in my relationship to the point where it’s shocking. This video is slowly helping me realize that even if it might suck I have to take a break from the relationship I have right now, for myself. Thank you for making me and many others realize we’re not alone in this struggle, I love your videos jaiden :]

[skilzxo]

jaiden is literally my youtuber therapist rn lol

[CesarSaladBowl]

same lmao

[𝔾𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕒 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵]

Yesss

[DerenPlayz]

Same LOL

[Crimson]

Same lol

[pico fnf]

true dat

[AlexAndTrentPlayGames]

I love how Jaiden can make deep and important talks funny.

[BCManimator]

every couple months or so, i give this video a good watch sometimes its easy to forget about these things, so this is an amazing refresher this video has done wonders for me through my own relationships, thank you Jaiden!

[emberrrr_p4nicXP]

this video made me understand wut manipulation is and saved me from a very maniupulative and damaging realationship so tysm jaiden

[_justacringekid_]

I struggle with trying to help people too much and put a lot of stuff on my shoulders and I get stressed if there is nothing I can do to help because I feel like I’m worthless and a horrible friend and I’ve also been dealing with toxic relationships so this is very great to hear and just thank you for making this ✨❤️

[AmbientTree777]

Jaiden is honestly like my free therapist

[connorl0204]

“Dont let people force their junk on you” -jaiden, preventing sexual assaults 10 minutes at a time.

[Suomi]

@Mr Link oh you little

[ArtHuman15]

@General Britain 77 I’m sorry for this but *you’re

[Mustache D. Luffy]

@AtMe if only if only

[AtMe]

sexual harassment rate drops to 0

[Waxi11iam]

@cofykovii I laughed so hard at that. Thanks.

[Cyborg Hacker]

I love the animation, the music, your pace of speaking and the information in this video! Thank you for bringing such a good video for us!

[ZaxReg64]

After having had a friend recently who, in retrospect, was pretty toxic, cut me out of their life for daring to speak my mind and say their being stupid. This video is very appreciated.

[Jack Jorgensen]

I recently rewatched this and felt I could share some advice that I think would’ve helped me, if others haven’t said it already. To truly see if a relationship is toxic, you have to ignore it’s history, set aside your feelings for the person, and focus on the recent actions. Ask yourself if you are really, honestly, truely happy in this relationship, and if there’s a trail of red flags. If yes, don’t ignore it. Confront them. Initiate a calm, civil discussion with the person, making sure you don’t let your emotions spiral out of control and you stand your ground. If they react with extreme negative emotion, or don’t make a positive effort to change, you need to cut them out, as hard as that may be. You deserve happiness and a life you can enjoy. If anyone makes you feel otherwise, cut ties with them and don’t look back. I can promise that it will make you a lot happier without that constant pull on your well-being. As John Lennon said, “being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will get you the right ones.”

[2% Reagan]

My best friend and I have the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. Everything is open and well communicated, we regularly help each other fix problems, it's a safe space to talk, and DAMN THE JOKES ARE A VIBE Overall 10/10 The difference between that and my relationship with another friend is that the second friend would rely on me too much. I would get a spam of messages every day talking about something that went wrong, they would turn my vents into their own vents without offering solutions, and I feel like I have to be so careful with correcting them or they'll break down and blame themself. It's not the first time I've had a friend like this, either, so eventually, I just stopped replying to each message, and indirectly told them I need space. I think they got the gist :'D Another friend would ONLY message me when he wanted something. He was constantly asking for help and then outright refusing to listen to the solutions, he would complain ALL the time about his mental health and then just not do anything about it, and he constantly demanded my attention without listening to me when I said "Hey I'm not feeling the best, I need a break from this". I eventually cut him off entirely, and last I heard he had finally been dragged into therapy by his parents.

[Andrew Graham]

I agree you're not responsible to make sure someone is happy. However, you are responsible if you are causing them misery.

[Shobo]

yeahh i wanted to add this in too

[I Want a Plushia]

Remember that this pretty much applies to friendships or familial relationships as well! Jaiden did a wonderful job making this lovely video.

[ekkos]

That is what she said at the start of the video

[Jay Jay]

Jaiden is good making all vids

[I Want a Plushia]

@RiversBend I like yours too♡

[RiversBend]

i like your pfp :)

[I Want a Plushia]

@Davuluri I know:). Thanks anyways. Cool video right? A lot of bot hate spam though.

[Timbits4dayz]

4:25 this part actually helped me out a lot, maybe not in the same context but ive always wanted to be able to help someone out- ive always wanted to be a solution to someones issue and when im told someone else helped them and not me id feel upset, of course id never lash out at my friends or anything cause i want them to get help they need but i was just upset that i could never provide the help they need. It came to a point where a few of my friends (who would think didnt have any other friends or family to speak with) would always come to me for help and it became this weird cycle of "Let me help! 》*Gives Advice* 》Said friend then continuously comes to me for advice and now im stressed out cause now I have to act as their therapist. 》They tell me they love my help and that without me they dont know what to do 》Id be flattred but now im stuck with no suport to talk to and now id feel bad if i told them that i just cant help them anymore cause of my own health cause id feel like im being selfish just passing then down to someone else to deal with them. And so repeats. A long ago when this video had just posted- and i saw this part. I relized i was being a bad friend for continuosly wanting to be a problem solver, and it got to a point where perhaps ive relized i was being a bad friend because im holding them back from help that could actually help them, i can only give so much, as sucky as it is for me to admit it but being a good friend means their health should matter more instead of your want to be their answer for everything, it was hard to admit it and even more hard when im not told ive helped them even a little (cause i was never told i helped or did something good for others so i guess thats why i wanted to be an answer to someones problem, because i wanted to be told that i saved them and that ive helped them.) But i had to learn that if i cant provide the help they need then i have to let them go and sudgest other help for them like family or friends that have probably been in their situation before or can give you proper advice, or even see someone professional if its more complicated and bad. I find that doing so made me feel less stressed and less annoyed to talk to them, and i felt more at peace knowing not only that my friends are getting help they need but also that i no longer have to hold so much accountability for them. This whole this sounds like a mess so if some parts dont make sence im sorry, its more complex than what i typed but i tried summerizing :,3

[Jabberwocky]

A friend sent me this to help me understand how she may feel in our relationship, thanks for making this and I think it will help us be able to put all our arguments behind us and say friends for many years to come 😊

[Coralie Guthrie]

I was in a toxic relationship a few months ago and this video helped me realise that they weren't my problem.

[Aarspi]

Yeah I realized these things after years, just how unhappy I was around certain people. The thing with those people though is I know they have good intentions but are so insanely blind to their toxic qualities, and I had tried bringing it up to them but was blown over, either from other people in the same group or by they themselves. So I had to set up boundaries, and though I realized I’ve felt more lonely lately, I much prefer loneliness but growing appreciative of myself and treating myself like a friend, over surrounding myself with happiness vampires.

[ShaSha WolfLover]

Seeing this video made me realize that she is right about everything...I had so many toxic relationships with guys and had an EXTREMELY toxic friend. Most of the things she listed they all have done. I have been cheated on, manipulated, controlled, felt like I'm always weighing everyone's responsibilities, always claimed they didn't have money or they did have money but never paid back. I always felt like anything I said was just walking on eggshells. Thank you for reminding me that this is me! I'm responsible for my world and only mine! Such wonderful words to express this all!! Watching this made me tear up knowing I should have set boundaries and a little bit more of tough in me because I'm a big softie and I am super sensitive to things.

[Georgia Allen]

As someone who is often the "mum friend" or "therapist friend", I've found this video really helpful as it is reminding me to focus on my own ecosystem and start to work on setting boundaries! :) Thanks Jaiden!

[Pepper007]

@Life Was A Willow And It Bent Right To Your Wind i dont think anyone is abad person just for getting help from their friends

[GG]

So we have something in common. But I mean, this is not a good thing in common

[WolfLover]

I'm so similar to you

[Ace]

Mood but then I send my friends this video bc things I wanna say to them are articulated so well in this video xD

[Life Was A Willow And It Bent Right To Your Wind]

@Pink Llama No. You'd be a bad person for relying on a friend for getting help with your anger problems.

[Elsie Mendoza]

I found out today that my friend had started vaping marijuana, and I instantly knew I needed to find this video. Thank you so much Jaiden for making video like these. You explained everything perfectly in a way anyone can understand, and even 3 years later, still managed to make me laugh in a worrisome moment.

[willowdrakon]

I love the metaphor of toxic waste as a toxic relationship. Genius.

[Average Canadian]

I deal with a lot of domestic abuse situations at work. Following the information here and really taking it to heart would save so many people from so much pain and suffering. Really good info here, everybody needs to hear this.

[Princess_0225]

I am so glad this video exists, this video was a wake up call for me to internalize that one of my best friends for about 3 years was a person with a lot of red flags that became obvious with hindsight. They weren't a bad person but were toxic for the longer I was their friend. It has been a little over 3 years since I cut ties from them and I'm so happy I did, it wasn't easy but I was lucky I had a great friend group who helped and supported me throughout that challenging part of my life! So thank you Jaiden for making this video and helping me change my life for the better!

[Juli Popo]

I had this friend from 4 years, she and I went to school together but she changed schools, we kept talking by internet and everything went well for several years, until she stopped reaching out for me, she only seemed to talk to me about bad things happening in her day to day, and when I reached out to her to have a friendly chat she would answer very sharply and always seemed to get me worried about what she thought of me. I struggle with anxiety, so overthinking this stuff is normal for me, I didn’t think much of it, but with her this feeling went to a limit. I decided to do the typical “wait for her to reach out” thing, but it didn’t work. Today I finally decided to cut her off after three months of not talking, I sent her a text explaining that I didn’t want to get back in contact with her, just wanted closure, then blocked her. I have been wanting to do it for a very long time but didn’t have the guts. Finally after cutting her off I felt a huge relief, but shortly followed by guilt, luckily this video exists reminding me of why I decided to cut her off. I know this is a really old video but I hope Jaiden is conscious about how helpful it can be. If you read all that, thanks!

[Danae Joubert]

Apology without change is just manipulation.

[Mukta]

Yeah that's why I lost friends and even my boyfriend

[Sapizanza]

That's why I never apologise unless it's my fault. It does sound narcissistic but people will try to bury you for things you haven't done. The proper way is to sort it out from both sides

[Nick Bailey]

Dammit I'm manipulative and I didn't even know I sincerely apologize .......fuuuuuuuuuuu

[tupolev and kuznetsov]

Me manipulating my teacher:

[Laís]

Exactly

[yoink]

I can't thank Jaiden enough for this video. This video helped an ex-friend of mine to get out of a horrible relationship online. And this video has helped me with knowing that I did the right thing removing a friend/ex-ish crush of mine out of my ecosystem/life. Thank you Jaiden.

[cristal club]

Once me and my friend got in a fight and they said it was to hard for them to take care of both of us so I started not telling them about any of my problems and helping them to much for me to take care of myself while originally I was actually the one taking care of both of us.

[Addison Page]

I think it’s also important to examine ourselves, sometimes we can be abusive and not even notice. Keeping track of both sides with humility is the best way to deal with it

[August Oranchuk]

Thanks to you I realized how manipulative one of my “ friends” was being and now I’m a lot happier

[Rena]

No sé ni qué decir, hay cosas que me han pasado y otras que he visto de lejos. Muy duro el vídeo, el autoconocimiento y honestidad "brutal" como dices es algo que una vez me dijo mi psicóloga que era super importante. Supongo que a todos nos pasa por un lado u otro.

[Shayna Tang]

Jaiden: Not responsible for anyone's happiness. Person: But I'm a therapist.

[Pretty DragonBaby]

@hello guy but they can help all the people that do

[hello guy]

@Pretty DragonBaby They can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped

[Pretty DragonBaby]

@hello guy because a therapists job is to make people stop being depressed and therefore happy so they are responsible for someone else’s happiness

[hello guy]

@Pretty DragonBaby How is it a Grey area anyway?

[Pretty DragonBaby]

Grey area

[Joshua Müllerschön]

Thanks Jaiden for this video. Im out of a relationship that lasted 2 years and i thought it was a healthy one. But at the end i realized that i didnt know that in a realtionship its not your responsobility to make the other one feel good. I have low self esteem and i can get very depressed but i handled it quiet well during the time till the end. My partner suffered also from these things and i thought i should help an try everything i could to make them feel better. It kinda worked for me but after 2 years i had a downphase and my Depressions came back. Many things went wrong in that time and i expected my girlfriend to make me feel better or help me get out of my hole. Then she told me that its not her responsibilty to make me feel good. At first i was devastated about the fact that she didnt want to help. But now i get it. I was just not ready yet to get into a healthy realtionship with this person an my lack of knowledge prooved that. This video really helped me to unterstand what she meant so thanks :) (sorry for my bad english its not my mothertongue)

[Dimitris Dimitriadis]

This video describes my last relationship to a T, and I wish I had come across it 2 years ago. Instant sub

[Orion64360]

This video is amazing! just discovered it and it was exactly what I needed to hear. i think I am gonna watch it again in the future!

[NCW Productions]

Watching this video 2 years after my ex broke up with me helps me see alot of the things I did wrong, and I really hope that more people can look at themselves and try to become better.

[KPA23_]

Was in a what I felt was a toxic as hell relationship for god knows how long, shared this video multiple times, hoping it would help the situation, but turns out nothing seemed to work, even bringing in outside help. I've recently left this person and I feel like a whole new person and followed the advice in here to a tee for my own journey and it's worked to my absolute benefit over the years. Thank you Jaiden for making this video, you have no idea how much it's helped me over the years ❤❤❤

[SpiderKidAnimations]

Jaiden: We have to interact with people Pandemic: Allow me to introduce myself

[Karma Khaled]

LOLLLL YESSS

[Random Guy]

😦

[SpiderKidAnimations]

Jumbled MegaDerp Maybe I am

[Monokuma]

@JolliestDuck You're an extrovert, that's so cool. I just think extroverts are really cool.

[Crimsonarts]

Me: Who says we have to interact with people? Also me: *talks to an ant in the way someone would talk to their dog*

[Diabetic Hobbit]

This is so late for this video, but I've been binge watching this video nonstop trying to save myself from toxic relationships, and ex, and a once friend. And I'm glad I can come back to this to ease my feelings of the situation

[MopHeadEli]

I tried to send this video to my abusive ex boyfriend to hopefully get through to him, it didn’t work…tough way of learning that those who don’t try to understand don’t deserve to

[cupid]

2 years ago when she said “if you say yes to any of these questions you should reconsider your relationship” i said yes to almost all of them with the girlfriend at the time. Now, i’m so happy to say i couldn’t say yes to a single one with my current one. :)

[3nd1ess]

This video hurt me in the best way possible. And especially the guilt-trip tactic by saying "Do this or I'll hurt myself." This entire video is why I don't have any relationships. It's too much stress.

[[Kiwix]]

I love how serious the topic is and how she adds humor without messing up the main topic!!

[Guilherme Yuri]

Yes, it's amazing the way she talks about it.

[Andrew Angelillo]

Yes but the issue is this doesnt work on most of the people in this generation because all they do is go back to there old habits and its just a circle. Its hard to decide who is a true friend but finding them you really dont have these issues

[S W]

I watched this in middle school when I was in the middle of a very toxic friendship and this video helped me realize it and I’m now out of that friendship and I have been for 2 years now. This is so helpful and I’m so glad that it helped me realize that. I’m currently rewatching this for the first time in 3 years and this is helping me realize somethings now (we’re working out somethings currently).

[Onyx's Hideout]

This video helped me break off a toxic friendship, and now I know red flags to look for in a relationship, this also kept me from doing anything too stupid, and something that could impact my future, thank you jaiden, you have helped me a lot, even when I never thought I would need it! :)

[Payton Cousins]

I’ve been in therapy for a good few years now. A lot of this video rings true with lessons I’ve learned and had to drive into my memory through therapy. Thanks for making this. The not responsible for others’ happiness thing is huge. People gotta work on themselves.

[Seth Malone]

i never had this problem because i had 0 friends. i was the micheal scott of the classroom. i soon developed friendships among my siblings instead, and i LOVE it. my piece of advice would be to develop friendships with with people u actually trust, and keep the people u have fun with in the buddy column. cuz there is a difference edit: you can have both

[TigeR]

I have a friend who was pretty toxic and got angry pretty easily. I felt like I had to walk on eggshells around him. I saw it like it was, toxic and not my fault. But I was also rather shy, so in the beginning I never did anything about it, even though I thought of cutting ties a few times. We are still friends today because he actually hated that aspect about himself and has been getting massively better, and has learned not to follow his first instinct of getting angry.

[Muffin Man]

Jaiden really out here advocating for everyone to be their own Lorax

[Legoben98 Productions]

Jaiden animations probably: “I’m Jaiden, speaker of the homies”

[Bray]

I am the lorax I speak for the sea caps, if you pollute I'll take your knee caps

[Tayx2times]

and.. tbh i don't even have a problem with it either ..

[moodymoosh]

While I would speak for my trees, that would start a fucking forest fire.

[Hu Tao the funeral director]

I speak for me insult me and i take ur knees

[TheBadDriver]

My best friend just dumped a huge load of problems and told me I can't tell anyone. My sister overheard and we talked about it when we got home and I feel so much better. I came back to this video and I just realized that my friendship with my best friend is a textbook case of a toxic relationship. I'm going to try and take Jaiden's advice and fix my little ecosystem before stressing over my friend's. Thank you Jaiden ❤️

[ThatOneLeftie_]

"I like to imagine myself as my own eco-system, and I do my best to maintain it everyday. If there's a person or relationship I have - maybe it started off well, but slowly started feeling damaging - then I've got to step back and ask myself if I need to kick them off my planet." -Jaden Animations 2019

[Wolfyon The fox]

I really love this video. At the time of its release i was dealing with a massive drama in my life, which was caused by a toxic friend. They were turning me away from friend and i never felt comfortable with them. I let them control my choices and turn me away from my friends. But i was able to realize how terrible they were from this video. I see them around school but i never talk to them.

[rabbit_with_a_grapefruit_spoon]

I watched this when it first came out and noticed a lot of stuff that a friend of mine did was probably manipulative. I later brushed it off as me overreacting or trying to find something to hurt my friend but I eventually realised that it was an unhealthy/toxic friendship. Just a few months ago I was at the point of ending that friendship for the better mental health of both of us. Thank you for making the video in the first place, it was something that really helped me put things in perspective and I know I'm not the only one it helped, thank you Jaiden.