Things I wish I knew/was told before I got married!

[@erikad2261]

When you get engaged and married you will learn who your true friends and family members are. Yup

[@youngbenfranksinatra]

Can't wait to marry me a pretty Hot Chocolate woman like Erika 🤣

[@jalynnmarie4218]

So true!!!

[@sandybeach2135]

It's a wonderful thing to hear a woman understand the magnitude of showing respect and honor to their husband. It's like the difference between Esther and Vashti or the contentious woman who tears down her own house. Hands down.

[@jradams2547]

The hardest part about marriage is all the "training" you have to go through.

[@kailynisblessed9563]

Please do another video of this! I learned so much as I’m expecting to be married really soon!

[@businessstudieswithsimatel6713]

Don't worry angel, some people always feel bad when others attain their destiny

[@Dovidw]

Nikella's hierarchy of competence is something I have carried for and used for many years. It's a deep profound, insight into the human psyche and for those who are truly honest with themselves, it may well be a very sobering exercise to see which category one best approximates to? From my perspective, it is blindingly obvious that the world is ruled by men who are firmly entrenched at the lowest rung of the ladder! Btw the best way to research the male/female dynamic can be found in the book "Femophibia - How Women Have Become Men" by the late Tovi Browning available as a download. I guarantee it will radically uproot your previous knowledge concerning women.

[@maddiek7236]

I loved this!!! Good advice girl

[@EatnPray]

Love this so much 💕

[@jolaola1987]

Three things that strikes me: 'you have to get down for your man' lol That was so honest but indeed that's what many women are unaware of. Being humble enough to acknowledge your spouse's needs and take responsibility for actually making him feel loved. That's also something for men to learn, that we women need that caring touch without the suspicion of him trying to use our sexuality. Another good thing you've said is about realising that the woman is not a head but a neck. That woman's power is in gentleness and in her subtle influence. that's a true feminity. It's wisdom. The end point was very beautiful: The love is not just a feeling but also a choice. It will be challenging but it will definitely increase the good feeling. Thank you and God bless you :)

[@Lswisdom77]

TY, for your kind observation. Can you do a vid on some things men need help with? My issue with men in my life they say hurtful things to me, then say I'm too sensitive ... and I disagree. It's like they let words just fall out their mouths (kinda like the child saying a person is really fat), 'well we don't blame the child; however, men I feel should stop and think about what they say.

[@Mitzymorris]

Jolanta Ol

[@gracenadvocacy]

Just a correction, the woman is not the neck.. She's the body. Just like Christ is the head and the church is the body.

[@acharich]

✨🙌🏾✨

[@frogsnack7072]

Right. Marriage isn't about power and control, it's about helping one another in partnership, building each other up. Love that you spoke on the difference in thinking, that's one thing that's hard to grasp is that priorities and the way we reach goals are so different from each other. Thank you for sharing in such a heartfelt way.

[@foreverblessed2073]

Yassss honey! Marriage is such a spiritual thing. There are so many secular ways of dealing with marriage and not enough people like you! Thanks for allowing God to use you to reach out to people like me soon to be married. Sometimes it's nice to hear advice from a fellow christian sister who knows she isn't perfect but has learnt from her mistakes and is now sharing that wisdom. God bless you and your husband hun. Really appreciate your videos. Keep em coming (I'm actually about to share this in my church's marriage counselling whatsapp group) x

[@reppin_haiti1446]

"I'm not the head of the house I am the neck and I can turn it however I want too" yesss girl

[@tanzmainiandevil]

Reppin _haiti but without the head the neck has no function

[@reppin_haiti1446]

Yes true I just loved the way you put it all together

[@dajaharvey129]

Tanzania Lane without the neck the head has no function

[@tyereksmith8946]

Reppin _haiti am a man and all you ladies cheering this bullshit on. am not the head am the neck shit. lol. you dont want no man to control your son but u want to play with other ppl sons lol. the head and the neck is very important to the body. u never see a head without a neck unless its shoped off.

[@dajaharvey129]

tyerek smith nigga what ?

[@cutechiangels]

I wish men would be much more aware of these facts. Was married 14yrs. I've never been snappy, nor had attitude, was always there for him, did everything he wanted and I did it gracefully out of pure love. But, there wasn't a true exchange. Nickella, exchange is so ever important. And good outright, but timed, communication is vital. One has to be able to talk freely to each other, without wanting to hurt feelings... A relationship is like an enterprise. One has to constantly work on it. Both sides. And that's the problem, men do not see it thst way at all. So, women end up getting really exhausted to do all the work. Besides, the rest of our daily chores and work... It's been way too much for me to handle... Well, I do wish U the best! :)

[@cutechiangels]

Sarah Alam Thanks so much for your encouragement and positive thoughts. Big hugs, have a beautiful weekend. 😚 💗

[@cutechiangels]

Sarah Alam 🤗😆😘

[@joynettetongi2281]

Hey find these book The five love languages by Gary Chapman it will help you..Thank me later

[@l.s7840]

Ambriel Apps truee💕

[@cutechiangels]

@@joynettetongi2281 Thx for the book tip. I've been there many many times!! So, I do know every love language there is! But, thx anyway! (Sorry for replying late. Didn't see your commemt before tidying up my email box!) Take care. 👋

[@Shechatsalot]

You shouldn't wait for a man to nurture and make you grow as a woman. You should trust God and work hard so you can have self growth and purpose as an individual.

[@chimenedjousse2273]

Yesssssss I agree with you

[@sophiamatias8110]

Crissy samuels one of her points was that your growth is your own responsibility...

[@kmichel2797]

I just listened to almost the exact same message at church this morning!!! Wow. idk what this means but God works in mysterious ways. Can't wait to see what He has in store for me in my future!

[@SkylarStullerSilverstar]

Yes!! To cutting toxic people out of your life!! Do it while your young, do not let one of them use your time or energy, or thoughts!

[@dolcifioricakes]

Fantastic advice! I am 17 yrs into marraige and have just learnt some of these. Sad that I didn't before but its never to late for change! Thankyou much! God bless your marraige.

[@troybranch]

So true, i don't usually respond to videos , a lot you've said is true, i'm 53 yrs young , i'm now married 34 yrs, if people told you things or tried to warn you about the issues you run into in marriage you probably would have never married due to fear or opinion of others , in your union you learn as you travel that road , if i may respectfully comment to you both , be fair with each other .

[@christineawuor8443]

Hallelujah. No Exes allowed! Simple as that.

[@christineawuor8443]

Cindy John sorry about that.. I think creating a sage space to discuss your hurt without accusation might help. All the best.

[@juneplumlogan]

My husband served me and I served him, he cook, I cook, i do mostly the cleaning but he still help once in awhile ( I'm glad my husband is pretty lay back ) as for me I'm pretty much the same before and after we got married, i never change 🤣🤣🤣 also marriage shouldnt be hard just be your self and relax

[@jocejoy]

Tracy Davis you are a scammer

[@jocejoy]

Tracy Davis people don't even try to contact the person, he will take money from you and run. This is a very famous scam.

[@jocejoy]

Tracy Davis HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@furrsmith8131]

Jamaican Logan true

[@Sybilgause]

Thank you I have said that to my friends that marriage should never be hard, be friends, be humble and relax.

[@gamerhera8942]

Your skin tone and makeup is gorgeous 😻

[@gratefuljoan3082]

Gamerher A I was thinking the same thing. I am very dark skinned, and I am too broke to so far to buy lighting that helps show my deep tone. Right now I look 7 shades lighter in my videos, but someday. 😊

[@Mchella]

IamJoan P honey. Believe me when I say that you do not need lighting cream. You are gorgeous as you are! There's only one you

[@gratefuljoan3082]

Mchella I get you girl 😊 I was not talking about that type of lightening. I am talking about camera light. You should checkout my channel, and you will see what I am talking about.

[@queenriri9393]

IamJoan P sounds like you have self-hatred issues.

[@queenriri9393]

Gamerher A her hair is slayed too, I can tell even though it's in a ponytail.

[@MissFlorenceBeauty]

So freaking wise this girl!! I have been married for almost 3 years now and I am struggling so hard with being the „woman“ in the relationship. My husband hates that and that is also our biggest issue.. I love him, but I do feel like I loose myself by giving in and listening to him... you kinda made me look at everything differently 😓 thanks for this 🙏🏾

[@kwadwosboo]

If I could like this video a thousand times, I would!!! Marriage is hard work and you hit so many things on the nail!! I’m almost 3 years into my marriage and I’m learning sooo much about myself. The growth I am experiencing is beautiful because it is internal growth. I have been able to start looking at external things as the issue and I have turned the mirror INTERNAL. I have connected more with God and I realize everything just started flowing in the right direction. I felt your passion as you spoke and I identify so much with everything you’re saying! Its like hearing myself talk! God bless you for sharing and may God continue to strengthen your marriage!!!

[@elizabethbrandonsomboun5636]

You should have classes for women who have just become engaged. You have a strong spirit of warmth about you. Thanks for the video and God bless’

[@WuraManola]

By far one of the best videos I've watched on KZbin! Girl, you're so soft spoken but you deliver powerful messages! 100% agree with all the points you put across and every woman needs to watch this, single, engaged or married! New subbie! xo

[@Macheako]

Cause no matter what anyone says she speaks with love in her heart. For her, this ain't about nothin BUT the love between a man and a woman. God bless her and women like her, we need ya'll, maybe not as bad as ya'll might need us, but there ain't a lotta debate when it comes to shit you need in life. Ya either need it or ya don't lol And we NEED each other haha

[@Macheako]

frexandbera Vinc And she's exalting God BY Exalting her husband and taking care of her heavenly duties. But please, tell me some more way in which women AINT supposed to love and look up to their man? Give me another way that women need to DEMAND respect, but not earn it. Go ahead sweetie, educate me on what the fuck I don't know but you clearly do. PROVE ME WRONG gorgeous Except you can't....cuz you know I'm right, and you know this woman was right.....and you know you're wrong. Stop being wrong, sweetheart. That's all there is to it. Love and care for your man, and if he doesn't repay your love in SOME favor, then you with the WRONG guy. And if ALL the guys you with don't properly care for you they all the WRONG guy.

[@Belizianboi13]

Yea she did, but us men basically say a lot of the same things, and women disagree.

[@Macheako]

Andre Villanueva When you start to realize bro, I'd say......mmmmmm....probably 89% of women's accusations against men are REALLY.....just them projecting onto us the TERRIBLE shit they ALL do lolololololol Like how they NEVER listen to Men or what we say is Right. Hell, just look at feminism. Could you imagine how crazy they'd go if a MAN was in charge?????? But.....I thought the genders were equal....... Trust me bro, misogyny in the right doses is a GREAT thing ;)

[@Macheako]

frexandbera Vinc (I using caps lock for emphasis, I ain't yellin, promise) Cause having love in your heart aint ALL ABOUT FUCKIN YOU CHICK!!!!! lolol goddamn girl, every word outcha mouth is "But....but....but what about MEEEEEE" :p Sometimes, this shit is about US, beautiful, and THAT is why/how a woman can have love in her heart. If you think love HAS TO ALWAYS INCLUDE YOU, then you don't think that much about love. Cause Love is the one force down here that moves E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. "Love" ain't got shit to do with women, or men, it's got everything to do with God, His Word, and following his Good Word down here. If you want a non-religious explanation, then Love is about following the Truth and doing what is Objectively Right by ALL the people you love in your life (not on social media or some bull shit). A woman doesn't NEED to worry about nobody in HER LIFE as much as she NEED to worry about her man. But, hey, I'll say the same thing on the guy too here so I'm not playing unfair. His greatest need for concern is that her well-being is taken care for. The problem is you goofy girls worry FOR us, rather than ABOUT us. When ya man's stressed, do you try and solve his problems, or do you just try and comfort his ass and help push him to achieving his goals? Be real now, I've seen a LOOOOOT of realtionships lolol so you'd be the fuckin 10th if you're the 2nd girl lol, no hate tho. I ain't sayin it's easy. I'm saying it's right. That's why I do it. Hell, I ain't even sayin you NEED to agree chick. Cause here's the thing, NOTHING you say is gonna change my mind. Not cause I'm being disrespectful about it, but cause I know pretty well what the hell leaves my mouth. And I also know what comes outta other peoples. And nothing you saying here is anything new to me. It's the same old sayings that are dying with my parents generation. And ya know what....I'm fine with lettin those sayings die lol Cuz we can do better.

[@lemony-snickett]

As a muslim woman, we dont believe we were created to serve and satisfy men, rather we were to created for God and for Him alone, to worship and to love Him, and if we find a man you could both go to God together as equals.

[@anazuosalihu9712]

Sarah Aslam isn't Paradise supposed to lie at the feet of your husband?

[@lemony-snickett]

Anna Mae Harkness no where did you hear that? the saying if the Prophet is that Paradise is at the feet of your mother.

[@lemony-snickett]

of*

[@rosemiller6388]

Sarah Aslam Im glad you said this because when she said "women are created for men" I was totally confused I said I don't think it is like that in Islam.

[@lemony-snickett]

Rose Rose yes thank you, but she is talking about her Christian religion

[@Keepinupwithcaro]

I've watched this 3 times already along with the video with your husband about what you've learned in the past 7 months and I will just say I love these videos!! God bless and keep up the great work :) they are so helpful thank you

[@amazingasalways]

You have just blessed my marriage, Thank you. I am taking all of this advice, I'm a newlywed.❤

[@superiorGOD1220]

Mrs.Beauty Subscribe to our channel Hun we'd love your support 😘

[@bfabulous]

malik malik congratulated on your Mexican woman 🎉 obviously you still want a black woman because you wouldn’t be on this post butt hurt 🤣 the only reason why you black man go to other races because we didn’t want you in the first place well for me my child father is a damn good dad and I’m happily married for 7years to a black man I’m a Nurse 👩🏽‍⚕️ so your argument is not valid here 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@malikmalik1141]

B_DAFAB1 fuck off bitch!

[@kaysinger6960]

B_DAFAB1 Temp Just come from a Mexican Man and Ghanaian Woman's beautiful wedding. kzbin.info/www/bejne/nYuUd61nZsmYp68 Notice the Black man commenting here is not married to the Mexican woman. He's about to add her to this statistic reported by SSRN which states: 92% of biracial out of wedlock kids by AA men. 82% of the kids on welfare. papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2625893

[@naturallynasa4482]

malik malik has it ever occurred to you that maybe YOU might be the problem? There's no point in demonizing "black bitches"

[@reitaebohon7853]

Different they are but the world does not revolve around them. We hardly see clips of men talking on SM about what men should do to make a marriage work. They do what they do and all we do is run around looking to solve all the problems we see in the marriage. Understanding and respect from both is what works.

[@bubblegum-iz8zu]

Men were created for women just as women were created for men. They were both created for each other.

[@anthonywilliams855]

bubble gum women were made for men and not the other round this is why men could handle single life better than a woman can

[@tstarajayi]

bubble gum No women were created for men that’s it which scripture ever said the opposite?

[@tstarajayi]

DARK M00N women have superpowers up until its time to build a house, fix a car or invent something true ;)

[@Blue-Mo0n]

@@tstarajayi Yeah fixing a car is a life matter.. lol. For real now? That's the problem with men.. they do smth once in a while and they think that they paid their dept. Not every man has invented something so leave that bs out of it. Maybe most men know how to fix a car but we can live without it. There are cabs and buses and it's again once in a while.. Once in a while.. That's all you can do and you wanna think that you are too important.. Try do the most boring things everyday for you and your family after work like cooking and cleaning for years and years without anyone paying you, like a slave and then come find me.. Let alone raising a child.. We can handle almost everything alone even bringing a human being on this earth like you.. There was once a man who "became" a woman for a few years and then he "became" again a man.. He couldn't believe how unfair this world was for women and how difficult they have it.. He turned again into a man just because of it. He doesn't lose a chance to stand up for women and he admits that he turned into a man again just out of convinience. I always wished men would turn into women somehow magically and see how fucking spoiled, selfish, arrogant, emotionally immature and lazy they are. Yet they think so highly of themselves even though they are pretty useless compared to women.

[@tstarajayi]

DARK M00N yeah cause cooking and cleaning is so hard we can do everything you can do better except give birth so congrats for that

[@food4thoughtonline562]

So much Jems in this vlog!! The amount of times I had to pause and just clap... you spoke well and highlighted points that are honestly not discuss enough. Last but not least it warms my heart to see young black people well presented and doing something positive. #TwoThumbsUp

[@windyrainStorm]

your arms are goals

[@ShannySteve]

this is awesome..."fighting for independence" a lot of people struggle with this....it kills the relationship....good video!!!

[@taniaclerveau5642]

Shanny & Steve qwerrtytulavsdms z. D.ryykpwqwkkwkr

[@Tiffybunnznails]

How does one fight for independence? Can you name a true example ?

[@anneloess6995]

Wow you are so good in explaining this! (9 months married) Alot of things I experienced as the same, especially the feeling that it goes against your inner self to change. And the 'unnatural'feeling of being the first to say sorry/ give a compliment after a fight. You explained it like perfectly

[@AdventuresOfBillAndMia]

Omg!!! I praise God for you, Sis! I’m so glad that I decided to click on this video. This is just what I needed! I’ve been thinking about these concepts for several weeks now and to see them lined out here like this is amazing! Thank you for letting God use you and for sharing your thoughts with us. #NewSubscriberHere I need Godly advice from married men and women of God in general. But this definitely helps in my courtship. Some people are unhappy about it and it almost made me cry but I’m more than a conqueror! #MustStayPrayedUp

[@chelseacurry854]

I feel like we could easily be friends. I love this. Well said! I love how you said love is a choice. It is! I wish more people from my generation knew that. My grandmother told me that when I was 6. She said "I wrote your grandfather for 2 years while he was at war. I chose to love him through it all and wait for him to return. It took dedication and hard work. Never settle for someone who doesn't choose to love you through it all."

[@cynthianoel4186]

I am a woman who understands love like you say a man does. Honour, respect and sex show me that I am loved. Dependence makes me very uncomfortable. This kind of messaging is not applicable to everyone and every relationship must establish a balance where both parties are shown love in the ways that are important to them. I am glad that you have found that, but obviously every relation cannot follow the same dynamic.

[@desertprincess0011]

Cynthia Sawatzky true Cynthia--she can say that is her own view but not everyone would have the same perspectives

[@danib126]

Ephesians 5:22-33 "22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

[@fatimasow6887]

And if you have a man who understands love the same way, you'll clash if both of you only "want" honour and respect but cant give it back the same way. A home, just like a nation, can't have two heads! Unless, their characters blend in ie what's one's strength is the other's weakness and vice versa. Yeah, not everyone is the same so generalisations are to be taken with much caution. Some things are based on unfounded stereotyping. E.g. am a female but am not a fan of pink but blue, am feminist but I don't split the bill when a man takes me on a date and am both tough and very soft as a person, it depends on the situation. What you brought out are character differences which is something thats universally indisputable. But there are things that we "choose" to learn through teachings so we can be better people because life isn't just about "us"... because we might be operating in the unconscious incompetent phase mentioned in the video!

[@fatimasow6887]

Danelia Bray Thanks for the word! One thing that ALWAYS surprises me is that when people quote that scripture, they leave out the first part of the scripture that has *"submit to one another"* . It always perplexes me really, that people choose to put the heading "teachings on marriage" after that scripture using an assumption that there is no way the author of that book could suggest submission is a two way thing. I think it's time people started to read the "full" word. Not in parts and pieces or sticking to "famously quoted" passages. And as they read they should be aware of the input of the interpreters (ie from the original Hebrew texts to english). Where all the headings that they put correctly placed? Did the original text place the headings at the same place? Or did it even have headings in the first place? Questions have to be asked so the Holy Spirit reveals certain things as we study God's word.

[@noniotalexas8384]

Fatima Sow well said.

[@watwegodaniel5220]

Nickella, thanks so much, it is my first time here, and i have been built up. am single(still in college) and the immediate people I interact with are my parents and friends, and I am already putting work into growing who I want to be, according to God's Word. To Love, be humble and diligent etc. I am so inspired by what you shared, and the wisdom in you. All the best, God's very best for you and your home. Love.

[@CatzWach]

Thank you so much for posting this video. I want to first, thank you for bringing in the spiritual aspect of marriage. Secondly, thank you for your honesty. I'm engaged now, and will be getting married in September and its been and interesting journey thus far. The good, by far, is outweighing the bad, and I thank God for that. I've been searching for insight from married believers and this was right on time. I just thank you for being honest and sharing your growth. Since I've been born again, there has been a change in me and it has been a blessing. Within this time, I've also had to learn what it truly meant to be a woman. Not to kick against the pricks. That "submissive" is not equated with weakness, but strength. That letting a man, more so your husband, take the lead is okay. My words used to come quick and cut like nobody's business...but I learn about my role in a relationship through the Word. Now that I'm at the point of almost being married, I'm continuing to search for wisdom and guidance, through the Word, as well as through married couples who honor God's word. Thank you for adding unto my growth. I look forward to more videos. Have a great day! Be blessed!

[@NickellaBian]

CatzWach Aw thank you so much. I too had been searching for insight.I guess that's where the inspiration to do this came from. So happy you found this video helpful! I hope all the preparations are going to plan...Only a month or so left! I pray for more grace, strength and wisdom over you

[@heathervance9647]

Why don't more women share this with young women?! Thank you! I so appreciate your willingness to share! We need to hear it, no matter how much it goes against the grain. Also I think you might enjoy reading these three books: For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhaun Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs They each reinforce your points.

[@tolusonubi5666]

Reminds me of the 1st year of our marriage... i was sooo shocked to realize that men are from mars and women from venus sayx is sooooo true!!!!! Hubby actually went out got 2 of the books and we read on way to work in d mornxs and discussed at night... that book truly helped us understand each other. Great vid😗😗😗

[@MWelanie]

Such a powerful message! I found you by accident and I'm so glad I did - your points were exactly what I needed to hear. I'm in a new relationship and until very recently I was operating full steam ahead in the unconscious incompetence. I've now shifted to the conscious incompetence and I have a strong desire to increase my competence so I can be a better girlfriend for my boyfriend. I like your 21-day reference so I will make that my first challenge - to be a proverbs 31 woman for the next 21 days. I too have a snappy temper and can say the meanest things - I want to change for my partner. I'm happy to see I'm not the only one and that change is possible. Thank you for the video .I just subscribed to your channel!

[@joannagipson12]

You have a soft, soothing way of speaking which is wonderful. So is your way if imparting your life experiences regarding marriage. I don't feel like your are "preaching" to me, but talking to me like a good friend would. You are a breath of fresh air! Thank you... 😎😍🌺🌹🏵🌷🎈

[@patrickhallis7856]

Dear Nickella. You are a God Blessed woman and your husband is a God blessed man. Men and women are created by God and they were created differently is as obvious as could ever be from their form and from their interior behaviours and feelings. You have brought this out so beautifully from your own experience and have in your experience wished someone would have taught / told / elucidated these truths for you. Unfortunately, for you and for millions of women...(especially, the women who want to be equal, equal to man in everything to their own paradoxical unhappiness and unfulfillment) the educational systems and the social media is misguiding these unfortunate women...making them unhappy and destroying the very core of a happy relationship. Thank you for being brave and putting this very true and very real gut-feeling, real wonderful advice to all your fellow sisters. It is best when it comes from a woman to explain the truth to a woman, rather than from a man. You really know. You are a loved child of God. May He bless you and your family and dear ones abundantly.

[@shakebadennis1915]

This is so true!!!!! We need to find a way to re enforce this to people into relationships because without it we are lost. The lies still from us and can and will bring us to self destructiveness robbing us of hopes and dreams. Visit my information site about a church I would like to start based on my own personal experience ( though wasn't married to the person) and how I am planing to move forward from my negative behavior with someone I wanted to marry and build a relationship. @www.keepersofbrothers.com My personal story and reason for pursuing it is at the bottom of the page. I encourage others to go and visit the site as well. As it is in direct relation to this video. Thank you so much and God Bless you!

[@ruthoneandonly2105]

+Shakeba Dennis Not being rude or agianst what u want to do .To build and start a church is not something u desire its a ministry that God gives .and u are chosen by birth to build the church.There are five minstrys -evangelist -prophet -apostle -teacher -pastor these ministries are given to Gods specific chosen ppl. assign for that journey they gp through trainings under spritual mentors before they are anointed. where else u can desire to be a deacon ,bishop . 1 timothy 3:1..and so on .its good that u want to start a church but pray and ask God the way . consult ur pastor or elders(not exactly grey headed women and men in the) church and surely u'll know exactly what to do.

[@SarahDestiny_]

You seem so gentle and calm lool, loved your video x

[@NickellaBian]

lol God can do amazing things in a persons life! Thank you x

[@itsrudiano]

You're making a lot of sense...Wish my ex watched this video while we were courting...

[@melliegotsoul]

Sarah Destiny she does! lol.

[@ElayTVProductionsLLC]

Sarah Destiny 💖💖🙌💖

[@CMadisife]

Rudiano, she/he definitely wasn't for you. I'm going through a situation right now that I feel isn't right. They say guys are usually dragged into making a relationship work. But in my case, I strive to do the working. I don't know why a lady would refuse to study/watch materials that would help her grow, especially in her relationship. Ignorance is really going to hurt you. I've learned to keep my head up and move on if the other party ain't ready. Relationship is WORK. If one is not working then it's not working. I know God's got my heart and will lead me aright to the right one.

[@claudiarussell8055]

I am impressed that such a young woman has gained such knowledge. It took me years to get the concept of the neck being the power. Who wants equality if it means being alone. Life was designed for couples that's what the creator created. Man and woman through free choices messed it up. Every young woman take heed. You can learn from your own mistakes or you can learn from others. Peace and best Regards!

[@cdubyajr5203]

I thought this was going to be a nonsensical rant sanctioned by a Lifetime Channel season ticket holder but the sista's insights were on point. Of course we as men bring our own preconceived thoughts, feelings, and baggage to marriage and there will be a mountain of ways of thinking/habits both will need to change. In my opinion everything starts with knowing the Most High, learning/knowing your role as a husband or wife, and being obedient to the requirements of your position. And yes husbands have to be obedient too...he has to obey YHWH and the wife is to obey her husband. Ya is a Elohim of order and decency and this is His order.

[@acharich]

🤣🔥

[@siasaquee2473]

I subscribed the moment you started talking about the spiritual aspects. Love you sister! Keep posting these videos.

[@christchild5757]

You have one of the most beautiful voice i've ever heard!

[@godsleadingladyzionisabell4144]

This is sooo good Nickella,im not even married yet but this made my day and blessed my socks off, please keep these videos coming at least once a week. You are a powerhouse and your motivational videos are on point. Now i know you have a little but please try to be a little bit more consistant. You have so much to share

[@wfjacobs]

Hey Nickella, Thanks for sharing from your experience. My mission is to equip couples for this journey called marriage and I SO resonate with the things you've said in this video. I wish more people would be open to talking about their marriages and not pretend that everything is okay when they're struggling. There are so many people who could help.

[@thechoniclesofkratos]

You are beautiful and so is your message....thank you so much

[@NickellaBian]

+Alexis Mayers Thank you love

[@SadeSherrisXO]

Really glad I came across this video. I did all those things wrong in my past relationship and it completely destroyed it. Glad I know better and at that time I now know I was unconsciously incompetent

[@Eliszzyy]

"Your growth is your responsibility" Such powerful words! I wish everyone understood this! Weather they want a relationship or not, it's for your family, your friends, and human kind in general!

[@ToffeeBeauty]

Thank you! I’m a newlywed and have found it to be more challenging then I thought. I really my expectations were unrealistic and you are right men do think differently than women. My husband has black/white solutions and I’m also up in down riding the grays like it’s a rainbow or roller coaster analyzing the best solution. Also he has mentioned the respect thing and I mention the affection thing. This video helped me a lot!!! Thank you 🙏🏾😊

[@blessingribeiro22]

im so glad i found this keep bringing the vids girl you are so inspirational

[@FrancescaHunter5]

Amen, sister! I started fasting for my future husband and when you started talking about God towards the end I got a little emotional! Wasn't expecting that. Woohoo!

[@jessicamay9157]

Actually, you're not supposed to fast FOR something like a husband, a car, or a job. Fasting is for feeding your spirit by neglecting "flesh" (food) it's to strengthen you spiritually! Just wanted to point that out..

[@ngreat4390]

Jessica May exactly. God told me to stop fasting for such because it's idolatry. God knows the desire so just ask for his best version of what you need and also what particular traits to pray for.

[@xtelfolaj]

there is nothing wrong with praying for a husband. the bible says cast your cares upon him for he cares. So you can go to God to show you who your earthly spouse, it only comes problematic when God feels like you desire it more than him which is probably why he told Helen Enang to stop, or you want God to work on your time when he told you, you are not ready. The bible says from the days of John the baptist the kingdom of heaven sufferth violence, and the violent take it by force. The enemy diverge alot of people from their divinely earthly spouse, or prolong it. I've heard alot of testimonies how the enemy diverge people to meet their husband at their 40s. So like the bible says pray with out ceasing, but just seek God first for anything. God can give anything from a job, more power, wisdom, etc. Don't limit God

[@kamilahspeaks2200]

I admire how real you are and the fact that you live in your truth. You're authentically you and we need more Christians like you...Thank you

[@FeliciaNgwube]

Sigh I love you, the first point just had me clicking like it was poetry...YAAAAAS GIRL...*continues watching*

[@NickellaBian]

Thank you love x

[@annabelkalai7610]

I love the biblical references in there. I feel that you are a fellow believer and that's beautiful! Great video Nickella.

[@ChristinaKwarteng]

That’s it Woman of God. I can tell that Christ is the center of your marriage by the way u speak

[@TerryAnnStyle]

Christina Akomea hey girl

[@jacqueline8566]

See Christina Kwarteng. 👀🔎🕵️‍♀️ Hi sis!!!

[@lovemecom3832]

I got all what you mean and that was absulotely true, thats why we should always think 100 times before we decide to enter this kind of situation because marriage is a commitment to God.

[@yawkowashong8981]

This is all bang on for her experience. Only thing I feel is wrong is the I wish someone told me. Because that's irrelevant. If someone had told you you still would have had to experience it all yourself. This is major wisdom you've learned and I salute your for sharing that. I hope many of the sistas really got it. Because I took notes I hope yall did too. This is a big part of why shes married and remains so. Bless. By the way you should really make a part two to this because its essential Nickella.

[@shreeya1113]

Im getting married in four months

[@hajirahabib1418]

It's 2020 and now I am getting married in 4 months

[@SocialSherwood]

So happy I found this video! It was so inspiring!

[@NickellaBian]

Thank you love!

[@ThaoVN1997]

I rarely like videos on youtube. But this one definitely deserves a thumbs up!! Thank you girl for this advice xx

[@blackdiamond7956]

The world needs people like you.Telling the truth without caring who gets hurt.

[@LifeOnLahLahLand]

You hit the nail on the head!

[@ElayTVProductionsLLC]

Love Layefa 😰🙌🙌🔥🔥yah, didn't she though❕❕✌💖💜💜💖

[@EmorySimsDrEmoryCarlSims]

Thank you. I wish all women knew what you are saying. God bless you and your husband, and best wishes and continued growth and happiness.

[@onyinyeo.6476]

Girl you are so soft and calm I think this is the best I've seen so far. You know it all

[@agevents5905]

Girl you’re very right. I totally agree with you on all those practical points. As a wedding planner, I get a lot of engaged couples go through this lovey dovey courting stage and also the reality of being married. You hit the nail on the head on those points!

[@balancebalance91]

Girl! You deserved a noble prize right as you said we were created for men! A noble prize for realizing that! It's not easy to understand this

[@chimenedjousse2273]

No no no god all of for god for his glory not for a men

[@nicoledvillegas]

Wow! I'm late to this celebration of truth & light. You are bold and brave for being so spiritually honest in a world that is full of it's own selfish ways and the love of immorality. Amen for spreading the good news to everyone who needs it!

[@ericglover3145]

Spot on. Relationships are so much better when both go into it to selflessly serve each other.

[@millicentihedioha4918]

I AM SO VERY HAPPY I FOUND THIS VIDEO DEARIE....AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE I NEEDED IT TANXXXALOT

[@RicanChula7]

You submit to each other. Both willing to do that as well as fight for each other when things get rough. Meet half way n compromise... change certain bad ways about ourselves to help ourselves grow n then to make our partner happy.😊

[@ItsJustGayle]

I love this, so happy that God is showing women this ^_^ Yes Lord! Go you! Thank God for your growth in Christ and in your marriage too x

[@MrsAlucard1994]

This is such a powerful video (especially # 6!!). Thank you sooo much for this. You deserve a million views

[@bccstat]

I threw a bridal bonfire for one of my friends and I invited married women and singles, but I asked the married women to come prepared to share what they wish they knew before they were married. I know that’s what I want. I am 32, a virgin, and I’ve been patiently waiting for my husband, but in that waiting God has been revealing to me my womanhood and what it means to be a woman and it’s so opposite of what society is teaching today. Thank you for posting this, this is exactly what I was looking for when I threw the bonfire and even though they were godly women, they didn’t know how to answer the question.

[@fromdivineessence9600]

marriage really seems to be something horrific for woman lol

[@KingVoldemort96]

lucy A 😂😂😂

[@skye6066]

I’ve been married 18years and I’m 38 now. He is the head but I’m just as strong and independent and we have a ball together all the time. So nope not really:)

[@sarahmontuori6164]

It is.

[@davidharris7769]

Those statistics are for worldy marriages and unequally yoked marriages. And not for the marriages in which both individuals believe in a follow God's way for marriage so yeah this world can keep it's 40%worldy and 55%unequally yoked divorce rate to themselves ✌️

[@beauteefood]

"honor respect sex!!" u said a mouthful immediately subbed!!

[@NickellaBian]

Lol thank you. Glad you liked it!

[@madigun365]

I discovered your channel in the early hours of the morning when I couldn't sleep! I saw Bibiana Yetty in one of your videos! I get the family the connection now! !Subscribed! "You is good people"....😁😁😀 Thanks for sharing...God bless you.

[@MsSweetmademoiselle]

you look like Karruche

[@luvlife799]

Frances JeanLouis Bce

[@queenriri9393]

irene she looks way better than Karruchue.

[@dajaharvey129]

Queen Nzuri she’s pretty but she doesn’t look better than karruche

[@queenriri9393]

Daja Harvey girl bye! That is "your" opinion. Why is Karraochi so much prettier? Because she's racially ambiguous? FOH! This "African" woman is gorgeous and looks better than Chris Brown's leftovers. Goodbye!

[@gb917]

Daja Harvey I think she looks prettier than Karruche. But that's just my opinion. She looks nothing like her btw.

[@GodGotMe762]

We all should study the Holy Bible which guides us and the Holy Spirit will teach us and enable us to be the virtuous woman 📖

[@putjesusfirst9814]

Blessed Indeed! Amen

[@_M4Muna_]

God bless you, sis! Very much appreciate your honesty, forthrightness, and accountability of self. May CHRIST always light your path and shine thru you! ❤

[@foreverMelloYT]

SISSSSSSS! Omg. Yes, you are my sis now, bc I feel these exact sentiments and I wished the exact same thing. (If someone did, I probably tuned them out, but truthfully I do not believe anyone shared these points w/ me). I have only been married for 6 mo. but girlfriend.. I have already experienced all of the points you made in one form or another, but my husband and I have made a commitment before God and we are both putting in the work to make it last, in the sweetest form ever. Thank you for sharing this beautiful.

[@daricnd]

u so pretty

[@debrawhite5063]

you're so beautiful Nicki l needed to hear your words of wisdom l can also be a bit snappy .But God is helping me to be the wife that build's her home .Thanks for the teaching beautiful lady.

[@kijibeTo]

THIS right here just blessed me today. I dont even know how I came across your channel, but it really hit the nail on the head about marriage. God bless you❤

[@EManLangone]

I'm a newly wed - 13 days into marriage. Great input. I'm taking your message with me and will share it whenever and wherever I can. Much blessings.

[@stephanieayomideadetomiwa6059]

"i wish i never fought for my own independence" so we assigning roles now. woman, not everyone believes in the historical roles assigned to women.

[@abukakol56]

"man weren't made for woman", "woman were made for man, woman were made to be the help" Yeah nah thats where i stop watching. Good luck sis, bye

[@c0cochan3l29]

Abuk Akol the bible says “ HE who finds a wife finds a good thing” not she who finds a husband ... eve was made for adam from adams ribs ... the young lady is right

[@ngreat4390]

C0co Chan3L don't stress yourself, some people will only learn from experience after having failed miserably. Today's culture wants to emasculate men and make them subservient to women so any other narrative no matter how heavenly will be shunned by them.

[@neeqilata2891]

Lol. Me too. I stopped watching then. Bye

[@ngreat4390]

Ijeoma Amadiobi Woman was made for man as a helper. Men need women in order to carry out their divine mandate. God made the man the head but he didn't authorize man to mistreat his wife. God hates divorce because it's injustice to the woman who risks her life to multiply him. A man obtains favour from God when he marries. Men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church, giving his life for her. Men are commanded never to deal treacherously with the wife of their youth A.K.A the woman who has invested her life in his. As a matter of fact, men are commanded never to quarrel with their wifes else their prayers will not be answered. That's God's standard for loving your wife. God has authority over man and so it's not a plea but a command. On the other hand, Hollywood is teaching women to be equal with men, be insubordinate, focus on herself, idolize an unrealistic image of a man, make sexual objects out of themselves with implants and excessive makeup yet complain about being complimented, emasculate him etc then they act shocked when the man won't comply to God's directives on marriage. Then encourage the woman to find another man. Hollywood also teaches men that women are disposable until they find the one that makes them feel a certain way. So women fantasize about being the one without knowing that man will never find God's best without listening to God. This just helps satan have an endless supply of loose women to keep the supply going for philandering men and on the whole, sinking mankind further into peversion. Look at the LGBTQFGDSGBJGFCVNGFXVGJBC world....all because people won't obey God. It is not always easy but it is the only way to peace. Eve was never Satan's target, Adam was. Choose this day whose methods you will follow. The world or God who created the man and made the woman for him. God has his children who will listen to his command on how to treat his daughters but he won't pair two people who aren't completely yielded to his will because he only gives good and perfect gifts. A good marriage is one in which the wife listens to her husband and her husband listens to God. People want God's best withoutthey themselves being committed to be the best by OBEYING GOD. God bless you!

[@neeqilata2891]

Helen Enang that’s your belief. Not mine. If it works for you great. For me it’s all noisy chatter

[@msjay6780]

A young woman with such wisdom.....you are going far dear..Thank you

[@Effua27]

You're in a good place Nickella, I pray for strength and wisdom for you in your life's journey. Thanks for sharing and God bless you

[@jessicaflowers6795]

wow, my jaw is on the floor. you are so beautiful...

[@valianttruth3745]

Lovely Poetry Hands off. She's taken! LOL

[@racheladdams3365]

I really couldn’t finish watching this video after she said that “women were created for men”. I mean FUCK. I’ve ran away my whole life from this oppressive backward society I live in that treats women as sexual objects and demands them to look perfect no matter what and here is this British girl saying women are created for men!! I mean seriously??? Can you leave religion out of this?! Islam never mentioned that women were created for men. It said that we complete and complement each other and create a harmonious balance. Women are valued, respected, needed, intelligent, contribute to society and so forth. I was so fucking done when I heard that statement. Imagine if a dating coach said that on KZbin? His career would be dead.

[@racheladdams3365]

No one forced you to read my “book”. Yes, I proceeded to hear what she had to say after she made that statement and watched it with my mouth open. I didn’t like or agree with her explanation. I don’t care in which way she tried to explain it. It’s not true and it’s not logical. It creates this mentality that’s unhealthy from the start. WE WORK TOGETHER. The end.

[@xtelfolaj]

its not about women being sexual objects. it is biblical. Adam was created first, and God said it wasnt good for him to be alone. So he created Eve to be a helper. THat in itself shows how important a woman's role is to a man. When you get married man and woman complete each other because they become one, and it is ALWAYS thought to be selfless in a marriage. No where in the bible does it say a woman is a man's possession or a living sex doll.

[@annb5610]

Is this before or after the apple and the talking snake....

[@ciaramcwilliams5291]

She lost me a that too and religion oh here we go again lets hop on the jesus train with noahs ark 😂

[@funtoayenakin5753]

rachel addams I'm a Christian, I love most of the things she said but disagree with her too on that. A lot of Christians only listen to Sunday school and don't find time to read the bible for themselves. The bible never said women were made for men, neither did the bible say "a woman is a man's helper". The bible says "God at the beginning said it is Not good for man to be alone I'll make him a help-MEET" Genesis2:18 . Help-meet refers to a partnership not control And man here refers to any human being, it is not good to be alone in things pertaining to life man or woman ( you can see also Psalm 68:6). Two are better than one says Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12. Apostle Paul believed it is better not to be married too(because your focus changes from life to the marriage) but that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1st Corinthians 7:9) Lol The bible is very balanced, just religious oppressors politicized few lines in the past and people don't cross check. They love to quote where the bible says "wife's submit to your husband's as unto the Lord" (Very true) but fail to mention that the very ist verse of that chapter says "Submit yourselves one to another" . Biblically the husband is the head but his head is God and he is to love her as Christ loves the Church~ Selfless.

[@mayramiranda9391]

Beautifully illustrated. 🖒 Thank you. All the best😊.

[@kevinodom2918]

Damn, someone give this lady a trophy. She was on point.

[@ladyevenstar22]

You lost me at the woman was created to serve a man

[@berylonyango4827]

ladyevenstar22 i think she means you shud learn to be submissive in a way that helps u serve ur purpose as the neck which helps u turn that neck whichever way u want.

[@keithbrown6694]

Well its the truth

[@keithbrown6694]

ladyevenstar22 The man is the head so get over it ok. God punished the woman (eve) and said man shall rule and be the head

[@NellenelleForSure]

Exactly, lmao all these willing submissives with their broken hearts because "God said" lmao. Those are the idiots that repeat the same mistake and expect different results. Low self-esteem.

[@jotey5129]

ladyevenstar22 Not true. She did not say woman was created to serve man. She said woman was created to be a help mate to man (to HELP man). That can be debated but at least it's the truth of what she said. YOU said SERVE. You did that because you know women will be enraged by that and refuse her message. You are a liar.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

I feel sad for you that you believe you were created to support men, that you have to be "the neck", i.e. manipulate your man to get them to do what you want. How about just finding a man who's strong enough to handle an equal partnership between 2 human beings? And fyi, the religion of which you speak was created by men to suit men - it's little wonder then, that it puts women in second place. It was preceded however, by many other religions and cultures, some of which placed women at the centre of power (the Celts, for example, and in modern times, the Mosuo, the Minangkabau and the Garo, to name but a few). The only reason men have been able to dominate in the Judeo-Christian world is because they are generally physically bigger/stronger than women, but that doesn't make them superior and it certainly doesn't give them the right to require women to "bow down" or "submit" to them. By that logic, we should all be bowing down to gorrillas, but I don't see that happening anytime soon...

[@skye6066]

Marry urself a half ass man and ur relationship will work perfectly.

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Lol. So many women just don't understand that when men try to dominate and control, they do it because they feel weak and small within themselves. "Macho" men are the weakest, most insecure kind, and consequently the most difficult to deal with, because their egos take constant massaging, and still, they feel empty inside. I wish more women (and men) knew that it takes a strong man who has his shit together and knows himself to be able to handle being with a strong woman, because he knows that he's his own man, that her strength is not a reflection of his weakness, and that they're 2 individuals, who have to be strong independently of eachother for their relationship to thrive. You cannot make your man strong by pretending to be weak yourself. Women need to show men their inner strength and demand that they match it, or move on.

[@blackdiamond7956]

Those rules have kept my marriage. I just love the Bible!!!

[@lavienestpasunlongfleuvetr2559]

Sascha and Sonia that's wonderful for you, but not everyone's looking for or is suited to a bible-based marriage. Some people need more equality in their marriage and more freedom to define for themselves their roles within it. I've seen first hand how bible-based marriages can cause women to feel resentful and unhappy within their marriage, particularly when they know they're more competent than their husbands.

[@natashamwangi4890]

for a moment I wondered whether all marriages, before some white man manufactured Jesus and imposed him on everyone else, failed?