This is hard for me to tell you

[@metalmeister3054]

Hey Kyle I have have left a negative comment or two and previous video I want to apologize. It's real easy for people to forget that a real heart and mind is on the other side of that screen. Your videos and your comments and reactions are so organic that people like you make other people like me at times realize that words are real whether they are said or typed. Please accept my apology for any words I may have said in the past. Thank you for what you provide to the community and I wish you well for 2024.

[@belligerentamateur]

It's all good man. I honestly appreciate you being honest enough to come back and admit and apologize for it. Truthfully? I did the same prior to becoming a content creator myself, and I still kick myself when I think about doing it for the exact reasons you stated. It's easy to forget people on the other side of the screen are real people. I get it completely.

[@erikrummel6277]

Credit to you for owning your actions.

[@metalmeister3054]

@@erikrummel6277 thanks, accountability is a virtue many tend to forget about especially online

[@ParanormalArson]

@metalmeister3034 I actually just commented on one of those and seen this right after. Honestly, good on you for realizing you're mistake. No one's perfect, and realizing where we go wrong and owning up to it is how we all grow as people. Cheers, dude.

[@metalmeister3054]

@@ParanormalArson thanks. This is a great community here. Trolling always reveals a deeper issue.

[@OlaEnglund]

Kyle, you're awesome. You've built an incredible viewer-base and audience. Breaks are much needed, but reflecting on yourself and focusing on your self are importanterer(!). Your audience will understand and wait for you. Just from one creator to another, keep at it. I feel ya with a lot of the things you mention. Trust me, you got this! Looking forward to your next video!

[@jayjaymerritt2785]

Wow Ola, your words of support carry much positive weight for me, and especially Kyle. As a fan of you both, this means a lot! Both of you helped me enjoy the guitar again! And your funny/quirky non-douchey attitude is awesome for us all!

[@andrewpardue3324]

Hello from British Columbia, Canada 🇨🇦 👋🏻 Ola ! I’m a huge fan of Yours and Kyle’s as well. Really cool of you to drop Kyle such an insightful great comment I’m sure he appreciates it 🤟🏻😊👍🏻

[@brianmako7108]

I'm 53, I've been dealing with clinical depression, panic disorder and adhd for 30 years. Getting professional guidance definitely helps. It's a struggle everyday to get up and go to work, participate in family events and holidays. Best thing for me is to keep a strict schedule and try and push through the crap days. Hope things get better for you 👍

[@Joey_Tatts_Palmer]

I found the same thing after experiencing an incredibly similar situation. Great advice

[@beefnacos6258]

I'm pretty sure a majority of people feel this way.

[@justinrayedwards2971]

I feel ya . Just remember your doing alot better that most people. Don't beat yourself up. I love the channel and your a metal head. I could use some gear. Lol

[@shawnhockey4841]

We sure do it’s a rollercoaster 🎢 of emotions 👍 stay strong brothers !🤘🎸

[@Lil_Tee_333]

Hey Kyle... Had a rough year too; lost a couple family members, wife's health took a dive and the holidays made it feel worse. Needless to say 2023 sucked, but I'm hoping that my depression and procrastination takes a step back so the Mrs. and I can move forward. Wish you all the best in 2024! (Btw you should demo the Vox Lead mini plug in amp; for a tiny amp it pumps and kicks ass!!) LittleTee

[@mikemc5221]

The only people that you can explain depression to are the people that do not need it explain to them. You do what’s right for you and just know you’re not alone. Keep on pushing brother.

[@elus1ve0ne64]

Dude.. thanks for sharing this. I share a lot of the same traits. I lose interest easily and have add as well. The fact that you’re able to be so transparent is a gift in itself bro. Life is hard when you have such an internal battle to engage in everyday. It’s exhausting just to do basic shit on a daily basis. I get it brother. I don’t say this lightly, but you sharing this hits home with me in such a personal way. So thank you. I needed this. I hate that you’re struggling but it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one. You’re channel is one of the few that still interest me on KZbin, so if you love it, keep it up 👍

[@Jupiter2ignite]

100% agree! I have ADHD myself and I totally understand the high highs and low lows. There's never an in-between and most people just can't understand that. Just getting started is so hard.

[@elus1ve0ne64]

Yea man, it’s tough. It really is. I’m glad society has ( for the most part ) dropped the stigma on mental health so people can feel safe enough seek support.

[@Jupiter2ignite]

@@elus1ve0ne64 same brother 🙏

[@teenlaqueepha]

A lot of us are struggling with this. Stay up, stay strong, get help, keep kickn’ azz, brother! 💪

[@wingnutmcspazatron3957]

Has saying that ever helped anyone, ever? Is "just be positive bro" the solution, or is it something deeper?

[@TheMetalFoundry]

Oh dude, this really hits home. You don't have to apologize, not to us. Not to yourself. You are just human. And you may be a lot kinder for yourself. I don't want to project anything on you, but I also have been struggling personally, with myself, with my motivation for my channel, because of me, because of other people... It's good that you take steps and create space to heal. I do wish you all the best. Hang in there, brother!

[@justinfrakes4186]

I’ve been where you are. My anxiety, depression and bi-Polar disorder lead me to drive 100’s of miles from home and end up in a motel with a 45 in my mouth. With the support of my wife I found a therapist I connected with. It took a good deal of time but I developed coping mechanisms that helped. That and a good clinical diagnosis found meditation that works for me. Hardest part of my life. I’m many years past that time and I’m truly happy now. You’ve made the most important and hardest step to recovery. I wish you the absolute best in your recovery journey.

[@theriffdjenerator2213]

Stay strong. You're doing amazing just turning up being you.

[@DaRiffGuy]

I felt every word of this. I also struggle with depression and is very difficult to overcome. I love your content. You've taught me a lot and it's much appreciated. Many thanks and much appreciation.

[@TheJimty]

You’ve nothing to apologise for Kyle - your health and happiness has to come first. We’re all just here to share in your joy in experiencing cool gear, so whatever promotes that joy works for us too. Hats off to you for being so open and honest about what’s been on your mind - looks like a lot of us can relate, so you’re definitely not alone on this journey. You’re clearly a man who holds himself to a high standard and is always striving for improvement, which is hugely commendable. That said, as no doubt your own biggest critic, just remember never to judge yourself too harshly. Keep your chin up and all the best!

[@evilerahul]

Your channel became my go to channel for reviews and quality understanding of tone. Keep on doing the great work. I really appreciate you!

[@belligerentamateur]

Appreciate that, my man

[@JamieSlays]

Love you bro. Thank you for feeling ok enough to share this to the world. ❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉 I’m always here if you need anything

[@Gnarlosslamtana]

I am dealing with the same thing, and have been for years. It’s stunted my growth in my own professional field which just doubles down my issues. You’re not alone at all, and this community along with all others you’re a part of stand with you. Mental health first. It’s a real thing. Huge props to having the will to post something this vulnerable. Cheers 🤘🏼

[@JustJoshing4L]

Best gear channel on KZbin. You're the shit. Wishing you the best, and I'll still be around to watch your content. Therapy has helped me a ton, because I'm also all highs or lows, with no in between, imposter syndrome, depression, self esteem, chemical imbalance of the brain, untreated ADHD, etc. Just having a professional to talk to has helped me a ton. I'm hoping that this gives you some hope for the future as far as seeking external help. Just do your best, and try not to be so hard on yourself. That has helped me a lot. Much love.

[@babahias]

Very relatable... It's just the second video I've seen of yours but I can very much relate to a lot you're saying. Hope you find ways to make your overall situation feel better and from that point on I guess things will fall into place sooner or later! 🙏

[@christophgrubor7365]

I feel you, Kyle! Your statement reminds of difficulties i had for myself, health- and workwise. Without to much detail, there were two things that did a lot for me. 1. I had to professionally figure out the mental issues. I can't recommend that enough. When done right for a person, it can give you so many tools to overcome situations and even out the ups and downs and make it a bit more smooth and listen what my body tells me. 2. I had to figure out a strict workroutine. I have my day job and work as an amp-tech besides that. I wanted to make more amp repairs to step back more from my day job. It didn't work out in a healthy way. So, with this workroutine i get everything more in line and don't make promises, that i can't keep. Sometimes things get a bit more shifted. But, overall this routine made life easier, for me. Sometimes, things need to be readjusted. Another tool that i have, now. I hope, you find a helpful way for yourself. -Greetz, Chris

[@jammor6567]

I’m 47 and struggle with depression the music is one of the main ways I deal with mine but you take care of yourself however you need to thanks for all of your content I’ve learned lots from you stay strong and keep going

[@dustyhaze]

Hey dude, Listen. Growing up and maturing is rough. Your interests change. Your perspective on life changes. We wanna grow spiritually and challenge ourselves. I'm 41 and could have been in the forefront of YT guitar content creators but I was busy making babies and was consumed by domestic life. Now I've set the plans to blast back into the industry and I've definitely consumed your content.. quite a bit of it! Thank you for helping keep the community alive! We'll all be watching and praying for you, Sir!

[@WKD]

The struggle is real… I understand you very much! And it’s brave from you to understand what you are going through… I hope you find the joy again to play and have fun … it’s possible ❤️

[@GaryAlexAudio]

Dude, you rock! You’re not alone in the way you feel.

[@Paincakes]

Super relatable. Thanks for sharing and wishing you best of luck in getting back into a healthier headspace.

[@Swamy-0]

You got this. Take your time and do what you need to do to get back on track. I love this channel !

[@samsara107]

Best wishes Kyle. I had similar problems when I was younger, mental and emotional rollercoaster. 15 years of meditation helped massively. I'm basically quite happy constantly now. I'm telling that, because your analysis started with, the problem is what I am, that should be a good starting point to explore yourself and transform some inherent BS.

[@TheLaw1]

Hey Kyle, this is my first comment but have watched on and off for awhile now. I was a performing artist for 9 years and balanced that with a day job (office stuff). Lots of travel and little sleep (manic, no time to process anything and the same with high highs and low lows) and last year led me to rehab which I never imagined for myself but was 100% necessary for me to start getting my life back on track. I had to quit my job and band to do it but found my smile, personality and building new purpose by the day. I completely support you - honesty and hard work are required, but it's so worthwhile in order to get out of my own head and living life without feeling haunted. It can be done. Wishing you all of the best into 2024.

[@MWVMusic]

Hey man. I’ve struggled my whole life with a myriad of mental health issues. Today even is especially bad for me, and watching this helped. We got your back my friend. Keep pushing.

[@i8joyce]

stay strong brother. depression is tough. find out what works for you. it was a huge step for me to finally recognize that i needed help and then another huge step for me to get that help. i still struggle from time to time but i can usually handle it when i slip. i admire anyone who can stand up and look into themselves and realize they can be the best version of themselves if they just get the help they need. also i saw your facebook post with all the amps and thought "this can't be real. no one has this many killer high gain amps", then i saw your name lol

[@shovington67]

Just wanted to let you know how much I look forward to your videos , and how important they are at dragging me out of my mundane head space. Youa great guy Kyle.

[@dynamandan467]

Hey Kyle, I truly can relate to your depression, I suffer from it myself... Sometimes we overthink things and we don't always have control over life. We only have control over how we react to things. I think your content is awesome! I myself over-think everything! Just focus on your blessings, you have a girl, you are a good guitarist, and you are a tone chaser. I am as well, and I am and never quite satisfied with my tone! I keep fighting everyday, I've just returned to school to complete my IT degree and I am severally dyslexic, it's a pain in the ass, but I keep fighting it. I feel that I could be more successful, but I am a CNC operator, but I am not making the living I want too, but I keep fighting to get to my desired happiness. It makes me depressed when I have to work at things more than most average people, but I won't stop! I can't wait for more of your content, it helps me make decisions on various amps to possibly consider. Which I do have a question, I am wanting a Marshall amp again, I like the sound of a silver jubilee, but I have a chance to buy a JVM 410 H for a really good deal, would that amp give me a jubilee sound?

[@rossbalch]

You're definitely not alone in this. I think a lot of people struggle and suffer with exactly the same thing. I know I do. I also wanted to say that I actually mostly watch the channel cause I like virtually hanging out with you. I do have an interest in gear, but not in any serious way, I don't even agree with your tastes half the time ha ha. But I just enjoy the way you present your self and your authenticity. So if a certain thing isn't doing it for you at a particular time, I'd happily watch you explore other things if they gave you more fulfillment.

[@zachp7684]

Rock on bro!!! It takes a strong person to look at and confront their shortcomings. Good for you. We look forward to what's next. My guess is that most of your viewers are musicians and can relate to at least some of what you just said. I know I can. Thanks again Kyle.

[@EdwardKayeplus]

I'm really sorry to hear this Kyle. Im 44 and have been dealing with depression, anxiety, and OCD since I was a teen. A couple of years ago, it was determined that I am ADHD and autistic, and my other issues stem from going undiagnosed my whole life. I have a collector mentality too and understand becoming hyper-focussed on something, before suddenly losing interest. I loved guitar as a teen and went to ACM in the UK. I did pretty well, but the business side of it and learning the grind of doing session work and touring etc. killed my passion. I quit guitar for many years. It's only in the laat couple of years that I picked it up again and made it something just for me. Of course, I suck now, but whatever.

[@riv-music-7]

My deepest respect for your courage to tell the world about your situation! I wish you all the best to find your way to become happy again with what you’re doing on your channel! And, of course and what seems more important imho, find a way to deal with the downs you have to experience!

[@SapperRJMorgan]

As a Veteran with ADHD, PTSD, depression and G.A.S. I feel everything you said in this video. I too respect and appreciate and feel for what you’re going through. Focus on quality instead of quantity. Communicate with the behind the scenes people and the good ones will give you space and understanding. ADHD coaching or self coaching can help. God knows I need it as well. Balance is everything. Take the time for yourself and your loved ones that they deserve. I wrote this before I saw the whole thing and you pretty much hit on most of my points. I’m going to take what you said and try to apply it to my own life. Amen brother. Thanks for the transparency. It helps for all of us to share. Make us all feel less alone and shitty.

[@fearofnone2]

Hang in there brotha my son is going through a similar situation he had to take a sabbatical from work to get his mental health situated you will get there you are amazing at your job and we are all here for you!!

[@chasingtone2022]

I am sorry to hear that things are rough Kyle. I do wonder how many guitarists/musicians truly struggle with their mental health. Is it one of the reason we gravitate to guitars to begin with - it was for me? Who knows but you are not alone with your struggles man. Things will get better, it is hard to know when but I am sure things will get better for you. Take the time you need and do what you need to in order to get better - you should be your priority!

[@Fanafranky]

Wow I feel you, seems like my November-December went really similar. Took time off from work, thought it would help solve some issues, it didn't but a lot of the underlying things I've struggled all my life came to the surface. I don't know if there's something in the collective unconscious going on, feels like A LOT of people had a similar experience where we need moments of darkness to see how to become better versions of ourselves. Take care of yourself!

[@jeffhutchins6874]

Good for you dude. Glad to hear you are gonna concentrate on taking care of you mental health. I'm 53 and dealt with clinical depression until just a few years ago. Small things make a big difference and it sounds like you are on the path. Love what you do, and we love it cause you're good at it, so keep going at a pace that makes YOU happy and the rest will fall in place. I don't imagine too many of us will go anywhere.

[@aaronmowery]

Thanks for your transparency man. You gotta take care of yourself first before you can give anything to others… I think that’s the only way to do something sustainable. I love your channel, it’s been so informative but your personality absolutely makes it. Thanks for all you’ve done and do brother! Here’s to a great 2024!

[@Onemoretake01]

Dude, I've been there a lot. I've discovered that sometimes what I need is a change of environment, and often in myself. I understand how it feels to deal with some of those mental issues that you are having, and you have my full support ...whatever that is

[@randymedeiros8283]

All the best to you, Kyle. Stay strong, man.

[@ScreaminT81]

This is a video hitting home. I’m sure ppl have said that, it’s hitting pretty hard. I wanted to record vocal covers for my channel, interview ppl, and I have overwhelmed myself as well with over promising. You’re an amazing dude and I’m glad you have made this content and this specific video. You’re a big enough man to do a video like this and I respect you more for it. Hope that babbling made sense. 🤘🏻🤘🏻

[@elliotmorley9075]

Kyle, thank you for helping me feel less alone. Hearing this first thing in the morning has helped me be aware I’m doing the same thing.

[@TheDeedeeFiles]

I feel your pain bro.. I go through the same thing..

[@turellius]

I think I have saud this before but i really respect you, not only for giving us insight to your personal struggles which is very much appreciated, but also for recognizing there is an issue and having the courage to take steps to rectify it. Keep up the awesome work Kyle. As much as i enjoy your content, if you need to step away for a while or forever I support you.

[@halonwheelz1]

I understand that you feel you’ve let others down. That hits home with me as I feel I’ve let so many people down in my life as well. That being said, you haven’t let me down. I absolutely love your channel! Do what you gotta do to feel better. Take your time. The people who love your channel will be here standing behind you and supporting you through it all.

[@MetalMike87]

Health comes first. Take care of yourself, we'll still be here. Big hug and brofist. 🤜🤛 Per aspera ad astra

[@funwithdahd]

Hey Kyle I had a major mental health breakdown last year. I can definitely relate to you. I have been on medication since 2020. It was probably the best step I’ve taken to improve my mental health. My wife says I’m the same but I feel miles better. Every day is still a struggle, but every little bit of help I can get I will take it.

[@CameronForrester]

Honestly, I'm not in a position to suggest anything, I struggle a lot with what you're talking about. But I have a lot of friends that have overcome similar issues, and it was mainly due to ADHD/ADD medication. I am super apprehensive about medication, so I've been just thinking about it without taking the plunge personally. But I have a buddy who was in a low, got on some meds for his ADD, and now runs a successful retro video game store and is happy as hell, and he credits it all to getting his head straight to be productive. with ADD/ADHD, it becomes such a chore to do basic things, and even passion projects. and then it all snowballs into depression. enhancing focus and being productive can snowball into the opposite. Either way, do you, focus on your head, it all starts there.

[@WitchPilled]

I have to keep busy even on days I don't want to or else the weight of my thoughts crushes my motivation. Depression sucks but it's not the end of us. Keep fighting dude.

[@B2Rockin]

I relate to you in so many ways brother. Your honesty has opened my eyes and makes me realize I haven’t been true to myself when it comes to a lot of the same things you have struggled with. 2023 was not a great year for me either, probably the worst year I’ve had. Hang in there man, you have a great head on your shoulders and a great personality/attitude. Happy to hear you are past the worst and getting back to a better place. Keep your head up, and I have a feeling that 2024 is going to be a better for us all. Cheers bro

[@filipedelbel]

Hey Kyle.. life's not linear, probably if you look back, you're much better off today than you have even been in life. Maybe you just achieved so much, and the pace tends to slow down after you have a curve like that. It's temporary, you'll feel better, just give it time. The clinical steps might help you as well, I did the same last year and don't regret a bit. Keep rocking!

[@belligerentamateur]

Oh for sure. My life is better now than I had ever dreamed it would be, which makes it even more frustrating when I can't figure out how to enjoy it. Working on that part!

[@robertolsen9721]

You will get through this as most people do. I have experience of mental illness myself (Depression). I got well and so will you. The basics of depression is that you're putting the state mind into sickness. To be well again is to slowly try to reverse it. It's really hard to translate exactly from Swedish. Some people are vulnerable to this condition, like myself. Take care Kyle and never forget that you will be better.

[@13mrbolivar]

Kyle, thanks for making this video dude. You are so not alone. You made me realize some thing about myself. The extreme highs and extreme lows with no middle ground. I never even realized that, but that’s me as well. The last few years have just really sucked. I along with so many other people am struggling to keep my chin up. Keep yours up brother…

[@kevindavid37]

You‘re not alone, mate. So what do we do? We carry on and we‘ll figure it all out! We will make it through these tough times as we always do!

[@scottmorris9680]

Your honesty is greatly appreciated…loading……embarrassing emotions and recognizing what’s happening within yourself.

[@stefanosimoncello2099]

Hi Kyle... It's not easy to carry on the work you do. Thanks for what you have done so far, and for sharing with us!

[@stevesorrell9835]

I'm proud of you man! Please know that you are appreciated. Keep rockin! 🤘🏼🤘🏼

[@alexnuzzi4780]

Two suggestions….1: exercise, exercise, exercise. Having struggled with depression and mood issues in the past that is the only thing I’ve found for me that keeps me on the up and up regardless of external factors. This has been more effective for me than any antidepressant known to man 2) perspective- every now and then I’ll get down over something that’s not going my way (big or small). Sometimes I need to remind myself of all the good things I’ve got going for me in my life which it sounds from your videos you do too. Keep your head up and find what works for you!

[@ripley7t429]

I have been there. I had an 8 year period like this. One day I looked in the mirror and didnt recognize the person. Therapy and mostly self work got me back in the game of life. The physical/medical part of it is just as important as your psychological. I am glad that you are coming out the other side. Take care my friend, we will still be here.

[@christopherjamesb7751]

Kyle, you got this Bro! 1. You've identified the problem 2. You've set realistic goals 3. You're working toward attaining those goals Take care of You, and the rest will fall into place. Your attitude and mindset are your best tools to "fix this issue". The fire is lit, LET IT BURN! And you will shine brighter than ever 😊 Can't wait to see this year's content. Looking forward to watching you overcome. Rock On!

[@JMal883]

Take care of yourself and put your needs first, the channel will still be here. As someone with ADHD, anxiety and depression go hand in hand with the condition, as does the need to hoard and the massive peeks and troughs of mood. With ADHD an all or nothing approach is very common, as is a need to blame yourself and to apologise for your mistakes. If the companies are worthwhile they'll understand when they see this video, if they don't forget them. The way I look at it regarding depression is as follows, if you never had the rain how can you appreciate the sunshine. Stay strong Kyle you'll kick this thing into touch.

[@strungth666]

I have been playing music since I was 7. 47 this year. I went through a spot like this as well. about 12 years ago, I went through some heavy stuff getting sole custody of my kidz. I got to a point that I didn't even pick up my guitar anymore. I am a musician. it is has alwayz been who I am. it was the weirdest thing to not write lyrics, or riffs. I went several years before feeling inspired to pick up my guitar again. mental health is not a joke. music got me through everything before that. the past few years I have gotten into gear channels on here, and people like yourself have re lit my fire. just know you are never alone, and the music will alwayz be there when you are ready and need it. 🤘🤘

[@ivsiguitarist]

As someone who has dealt with some personal depression and panic...the best remedy is to keep moving forward. Stay busy! In the end you'll always have your ugly demons to contend with but never let them stop you from living and doing what you're good at. Stay strong bro!

[@paulbullock7196]

Really appreciate you being human and sharing your struggles. It's a very scary thing to do. Balance is definitely key, along with seeking clinical help. Absolutely no shame in that. I've struggled with similar things several times over the past 10 years and sometimes you just can't will yourself out of it. One day at a time brother. We're here for you!

[@johnbajto4668]

Respect to you Kyle .. i completely understand where you are coming from.. I've been battling depression for over 15 years and i have seen many storms.. hope all goes well for you stand strong and stay healthy

[@danielhunsinger8017]

I'm also 53 and got Anxiety from Covid and long covid. I had to for a very long time and man it took me down a very dark road. I didn't want to play guitar at all. I didn't find joy in anything which was a real life change for me. I think a good thing to look at is a few things. CBD oil and gummies can help get you stable. When I'm having a bad day, CBD get's me thought tuff times. Also I would seek out Yoga. I don't want to preach to you about your issues but there are many people who suffer from the same issues as you can can share some experiences that might help you get back on you feet. Your videos are awesome and I like that people like you exist. I hope you continue .

[@user-jp3tn3io4g]

Thank you Kyle for making this video. A great many people ( including myself) struggle with depression and it does help to talk about it. Don't keep it bottled up. Be well my friend. God bless.

[@alisabbagh8242]

Hey Kyle, your current experience is totally relatable to me. I went threw the same thing and probably still am dealing with today. One thing someone told me regarding all the stuff you have or want to have or having a hard time to let go of stuff that could be used in the future is that, every piece of gear eats up emotional energy. And having a lot of stuff means you have to carry that stuff emotionally all the time. I've been where you are, and the road ahead will be a challenge. Only good advice I can give is to declutter. I still have stuff I bought for cheap and love but if you haven't used it in the past 6 months, it probably means you don't need it. And if you're worried that you might regret the sale? Don't cause whatever you're selling won't miss you, and the person buying it will use it more than you. Keep your head up Dude, you got this.

[@theriffdjenerator2213]

Sending you support from the UK. You're not alone. Stay strong and we'll see you when you're able.

[@nisterror]

I never felt you let us down as viewers, so no need to apologize. Glad you’re feeling better and have a plan to improve. Excited to see all the new content. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🤘🏽

[@jaydenspencemusic]

Regarding the comment about really high highs and low lows: it might be in your interest to look into a diagnosis for Borderline Personality Disorder. Especially with wanting to constantly switch things up and change things about yourself or your life drastically, as thats another common symptom of it. Mind you there are other symptoms of BPD that may not suit you but all the better to ask a licensed professional, AKA not me. Best wishes for the future Kyle, I'm really loving the content you've put out

[@belligerentamateur]

Appreciate you man. I've been in therapy for a couple years now. You get out what you put in, and while it's been helpful, I'm also not doing all that I can be to make things better. I'm not looking to constantly switch things up, just fix issues that have been a constant in my life and in my head for my entire life.

[@jaydenspencemusic]

@@belligerentamateur ah, my apologies for any incorrect assumptions, best of luck to ya man

[@TVsBen]

The stuff you said about your workspace being cluttered and demotivating really resonates. My home office is a disaster and it's extremely deflating every time I walk into this room. I do get stuff done but I"m having a very hard time doing it. Partly because I can't move with all the crap in here, and partly because I don't want to because of all the crap in here.

[@TribalGuitars]

Glad you're getting help, Kyle! I've seen it enough around me with family and friends to know what you're going through. I won't give you advice there other than to say stick with it, and stick with it even when you're doing better. I've seen too many think they were "all better" and quit getting help and helping themselves and they all ended up in a deeper holes than they started. Those companies that you might have wrecked the relationship, your should tackle some of those first. They might leave the bridges burnt, but at least you'll know you held up your end. You'd be surprised how much an apology, in whatever form it takes. I'm new to your channel and I think this is, like, the 2nd or 3rd video of yours I've seen. I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more.

[@markcripps2384]

Hi Kyle, I'm 53 ina month or so, twice I've been very low and was lucky enough to be distracted by a cat first, then a kid. I can't advise but obviously distractions worked enough for me to carry on. The companys sending you stuff, yeah, I get that but your content has helped me no end. As I'm so ancient you'd think valves would be my thing but I was always a digital player (Pod, AxeFX). But thanks very much to you I now have a fantastic valve amp (Stiletto Ace Head) and a wonderfully complementary cab (Marshall 425a) and getting all the juicy tones I've been dreaming of since 'discovering' valve tone. Guess I'm saying despite your feeling you can do better content for us, I'm absolutely over the moon with the info I got from you and not only would I have never been able to afford to audition all the amps out there, I got myself the ideal rig first time for a total of £900 used and that's mostly down to you. I guess what I saying is maybe you can do even better content for us but as far as I'm concerned, you've done me proud and there is no way I coulda done so well first time without your help/demo/comments. Just wanted you to know 😁

[@draleigh8881]

It all.comes.down to your thought management. Thoughts turn into feelings. I know its hard af to control certain thoughts but that's the catalyst that turns into depression anxiety etc. You got this homie. Its manageable its just going to require you to be aware of your thoughts and move past certain feelings. Once you can do this consistently it'll be become second nature and you wont have to think about it as much just be aware. 💪 wish you the best brotha!

[@MashaT22]

You got this, Kyle! We ❤ ya, man. Life is always a challenge. Thanks for being brave enough to admit that you’ve had a tough time. By speaking up, maybe you’ll inspire others to get the help they might need too. 🤘🏻🎸❤️‍🔥

[@georgeestremera1464]

I struggled with depression for a long time. It took a while for me to find the best thing for me but once I did, life changed for the better. There's hope out there. All the best to you, brother.

[@zensutraguitar]

Kyle you should be proud of yourself, to stand up and admit there is a problem takes immense courage and strength. Do what’s best for you. We’ll be here , no one’s going anywhere. 👍

[@threepe0]

Hey man I really appreciate you sharing this video; It is helpful to see others dealing with things I'm struggling with myself, and I think you have done the most important step already: Identify the issue, and acknowledge that it's a problem, and that you want to fix it. Been struggling with being down and unmotivated for years, and I made the mistake of assuming getting help would be easy; So many commercials and a general rising social awareness around depression lulled me into the sense that finding help when and if I needed it would be easier than it is. My point is that finding a solution usually takes a lot of persistence and hard work, and I know that can be heartbreaking to hear when you're down, but I'm trying to remind myself that the work is both important, and worth it. Hoping for the best for you. Please keep at it, and stay motivated. Forgive yourself for times you slip, and get back on the horse with renewed energy. Lean on your loved ones when you need to. You've helped me do some of these things here.

[@spitescorner]

I've dealt with a lot of that myself. The need to constantly be producing content even when you can't get excited about it sucks. Sometimes, I find I'm over thinking a problem or a video. The thing that's helped me out has been just being okay with some stuff not being perfect. Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Make stuff you stand by and don't get hung up on the woulda, coulda, shouldas.

[@steverizundrums]

Kyle my man, I understand how you feel. The end of 2022 it all started, the chest pains, tension headaches, upset stomach, and the feeling of hopelessness and being completely wiped out physically and mentally. I still struggle at some point every month with these symptoms and it’s a bummer. I’ve discovered that eating healthy, exercising, and being around people that love you are the most important things that will bring some joy back into your life. It’s the simple things that matter the most at the end of the day, things most take for granted. You have to do your best to shut out the negativity and I will admit, it’s not easy haha! You will get back on track my man, just take your time. Be kind to yourself and realize about what you have to do to heal yourself. It may not happen today, tomorrow, or 6 months from now…but that day will come 🎸

[@TheOtherJohnBrowne]

For what it's worth, I thought you did well in 2023. At the same time I am happy that you are able to address what is (for lack of a better word) bothering you. I relate a lot. I've been surfing that lower threshold of despair at my job since 2020.

[@DerrylVi]

Letting it out is the first step and I'm proud of you for doing that. I know you're going to do just fine man and I look forward to your next videos.

[@bardicdad]

If it is any encouragement, let me tell you a story where I faced a similar situation. There was a local Scottish heritage club that completely funded a Celtic honors course I attended in college. As a part of the terms for earning the scholarship, they asked in return to provide a presentation of what was learned. It was a very easy fulfilment, except the time in which I had the opportunity to provide the presentation fell through because I got married the summer during which I was supposed to provide the presentation. I managed to follow up with them a year and a half later during their St. Andrew's feast. It was auspicious timing because my presentation was about St. Columba, both of whom are patron saints of Scotland. In the end, the timing worked out better because it made things more special. I also learned that most of their scholarship recipients don't even show up, so they were especially pleased with my being there. I even got to see a relic from Iona, the isle from which St. Columba operated from. So there were a lot of neat synchronicities that happened, and I think the club was happier in the long run than had I shown up during a less special time. My point: Don't worry about being late, but do make the effort, and make it special. When you deliver, they will be happy, I promise.

[@maxb7561]

You became one of the most successful and influential KZbinr in the guitar gear in just few years and always answered a lot of our questions in live stream and video. I think you should be proud of that success. Take good care man!

[@kimballormsby9908]

Hey, Kyle. I'm 68, and I have major depressive disorder and adhd. I have dealt with these since I was young. Because of this, I completely understand what you're going through. You have to do what's best for you, not what other people want you to. Hang in there, brother. Do whatever you need to do to feel how you want. I will be here for you.

[@johnnywithnell2806]

I'm 55 and have had this my entire life, without knowing what it was (minus the depression). The thing I use when I start businesses (I've had a lot), is to get a partner who is a scheduler. I have a lot more I could say, but it would take up paragraphs...haha. I don't have the depression, but I do get ennui, so I taught myself to have a trigger in my head when I think of an excuse not to do something, it flips a 'just do it' switch, which is a little NLP trick. Helps because I am a 24/7 caregiver now. You got this. And the truth is, no person is an island. We all need help to get by in this world, and are richer for it.

[@hellogellojello]

Clinical depression club member here. Like others say, daily struggle. Fortunately lots can help but its very personal. Love your channel , no others like it. Take good care good man and hope to see more rocking guitar amp demos!

[@ZackRappMusic]

Man, I can't tell how relatable all of this was. Life can be a tough journey and the world can be a tough place, but all we can ever do is wake up every day and keep trying. Keep it up \m/

[@astrozombie2000]

Kyle, thank you for sharing your struggles. It's important to take a break every once in a while and take some time for yourself. It's gonna be ok bud, we're all glad to see you continue to do what you do.

[@nicolasbeaudry6158]

I’m bipolar and I’m suffering and taking millions pills , all I have to say is it will get better. I know because my mental health is cyclical. And I know it will be back, I love your channel and you will go through it. Keep playing music and keep doing what you do , love ya brother ❤

[@elliotmorley9075]

By the way, you’ve been doing a great job. I love your channel and it’s relieving to see someone who isn’t constantly shredding.

[@MrJimlen]

this touches me., i suffer, and struggle with depression far too regularly, its horrible and sad., but BUT we persist- finding a balance is ridiculously hard, i get it., i honestly do- kindest regards to you my friend, may God bless you and heal you

[@samuelczv]

This is one of the best things you can do. Not only taking accountability but also focusing on healing. That's not only gonna help you on a personal level but also on a professional one. Thank you so mucho for you honesty and you know you can count on the gear community to have your back🖤A big hug from Mexico🙌

[@K3v0P3N80]

I love your channel you have become a regular stop for me for musical equipment and comparison for me. I feel you buddy. I deal with anxiety and it comes on without a warning. But you do what you need to do to make yourself happy. Just know your community has those same struggles, you’re never alone. We are here for you!

[@thomasmiller5057]

I appreciate you having the guts to put your experience with burnout I’ve been playing guitar in and out of bands since I was 17 and I get burned out on it occasionally. The last two years haven’t been up to how I’d like things to be. It happened before long ago and then a band found me and I did that for over 20 years and it went great. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I am depressed and I’m sorry you’re going through that. Thanks for the reminder that this isn’t easy for everyone except for myself

[@SAMARIUM_Taylor]

You are an incredible person. Your brave decision to be publicly vulnerable will help countless others who struggle with similar challenges. I appreciate you and I know I’m not the only one. 🤘🏻

[@nathancorrao8570]

I've watched most if not all of your videos and subscribed. You have been one of my biggest influences for guitar gear! Keep up the excellent work on your dreams and yourself! Glad you're seeking proper steps to move more forward 😊!!!!!!!

[@SixStringFiasco]

Kyle, your story is very inspiring to a lot of people stuck in the proverbial 9-5 grind. You took a great leap. This is just a hurdle. A year from now, you'll be impressed at how you overcame this. Much love

[@chadromanowski2408]

I love your channel my man.. my wife has been clinically depressed and anxiety has actually has her on disability for 30 years. My kids have inherited some traits and are all on some meds and they all have a normal life.. I am a recovering 20 alcoholic.. I was on meds for at least five years.. I'm a guitar horder myself.. t's really great that you can reach out and see you are not alone. Whatever path you take remember to reach out to family, friends, therapist, or people on your channel. Don't blame yourself for your issues.. just stay level and keep moving forward.