This is how you DON'T play Castlevania:Lords of Shadow

[@FreddyChoppins]

Phil before stream chat was really some quality entertainment. The part where he gets stuck on the spikes/dagger puzzle would never happen today because his stream chat would just tell him the solution after being stuck for one minute. This was the kind of stuff I think people actually came to watch Phil for.

[@suspectedcrab]

The old, popular DSP died when he switched to direct capture vs the old style of filming with a camera.

[@bisonrr68]

Phil is easily the most entertaining guy on youtube. Watching him is like a guilty pleasure. A horrible train wreck that I just can't stop myself from watching.

[@charlie1234500]

I found, myself, agreeing with this wholeheartedly.

[@BoisterousBizarnes]

That poor controller suffered so much abuse; it tries to rebel at 1:11:38 so it can finally escape Phil, but, its efforts are in vain.

[@superlombax1561]

Lol he just slams it again

[@skullofrebellion6653]

His hate on Kojima, who had very little to do with this game, makes me laugh so damn hard! Lmfaooo!

[@stevoman16]

Phil is the exact reason why people think video games make you stupid and violent...

[@charcharmunr]

Does he think Kojima personally oversees every little minute detail of any game he works on?

[@RosesRedThorns]

+charcharmunr Not to mention how he often says Kojima is a troll. Because apparently in his mind, it makes sense for a game developer to spend millions of dollars of a company's money, have hundreds of people work for thousands of hours, and completely put his livelihood and reputation on the line just to troll people.

[@TheMrCHELL]

And he didn't even worked in this game. All he gave was some advice, made a trailer and that is it.

[@morganite123]

how DSP didnt realize that he had to use silver daggers in the triple lycan fight is completely beyond my comprehension. he cant handle even the slightest difficulty curve

[@soulzzplaysgames]

All the scrolls he collected would've told him so much about enemy weaknesses, but Phil being Phil he just ignored them.

[@JerichoMPH]

I am noticing a trend with the games he plays featuring Kojima. I'm rooting for the bad guy to destroy Phil's spirit. Is that wrong of me?

[@Zellio2011]

no

[@Megadeth7811]

No. You're 110% in the right. Watching Phil squeal like a pig at video games is fucking hilarious.

[@BoukenJima]

Gotta love how he uses exactly one combo over and over throughout the whole game. He did the same in God of War.

[@garrycotton7094]

This playthrough is the stuff of legend. Never before have I creased up so much watching an LP.

[@RossardJames]

"When are they gonna learn that Bluetooth technology sucks ass" 😭😭😭 this is a surprisingly great TIHYDP. Didn't know he raged so hard at this game.

[@TheMrCHELL]

*Butcher points at his own head, saying "hit me in the head". Phil: "strategy guide required...!" Sigh....

[@temtempo13]

I'll never understand why Phil seems to take umbrage at enemies attacking him. "Oh my god, that enemy ATTACKED ME while I was rolling / attacking / jumping!" He honestly seems to think during the three Lycan fight that as long as he's pressing any button at all, the enemies should have the decency to stand still. "Hey guys, chill out for a sec... I want to see where he's going with this."

[@Dante070890]

I think we ALL can agree that Phil's stupidity is beyond any mortals comprehention?

[@JobboFett]

1:19:00 is where it gets really good. DSP literally blames Sony for allowing Castlevania onto the PS3 forcing him to smash his controller on his table due to being shitty at video games. Wait, no, sorry. It's because the game is SUPER HARD AND COUNTERINTUITIVE. What a waste of air that man is.

[@aehains]

Phil is the reason why games are getting more casual by the day lol. "What do I do???? The game didn't tell me that! How was I supposed to know that!?"

[@magnew9991]

This is the first playthrough I watched off dsp and I thought to myself "wow this kid really is such a brat, I wonder how his parents haven't scolded him yet" then i check out his other videos and I realize he's 30...

[@jackhazardous4008]

Did he just throw his controller because he couldn't figure out how to use something?

[@linushyper300]

Lol, yes

[@Kalnafein]

Is this man seriously 30+ years of age?

[@hadesofthedead4610]

he was 29 I think back then.

[@Grizzly-i6s]

@@hadesofthedead4610 the fuck does that have to do with anything?

[@atomsmasher703]

@@Grizzly-i6sHe just answered his question...?

[@nobodyfromnowwhere7510]

DSP can't accept he didn't time something right, it had to be bad controls or dropped input

[@BrettonFerguson]

I'd like to see him play the original Nintendo versions of Castlevania. Fighting Dracula with a boomerang, missing a jump and having to restart the level, dying in one hit and having to restart the level. DSPs rage after restarting the levels from the beginning 50 times would be hilarious.

[@willwallace5751]

Bretton Ferguson but do you want to taint your positive memories of a game cos sometimes I find these really hard to watch

[@pedroemo5477]

Hello, i came from the future to tell you that he indeed played them kinda recently too because of the Nintendo switch special collection

[@jakublulek3261]

He played Castlevania I,II,III,IV and Bloodlines and abused save states to death. King of Retro, mind you.

[@jman9978]

That controller had a family, you monster!

[@madeline1815]

1:18:18 "So dumb and non self explanatory" Oh yeah, it's not like the game had a button prompt that says "Move lens" on the bottom left of the screen.

[@ArcaneOmen2041]

Well if the repulsive belch within the first 10 seconds of the video doesn't establish what it's like to watch DSP I don't know what does. Other than: "I CAN'T *DO* ANYTHING!"

[@THEGAMEMASTER2035]

htrtu "IT'S A BEGINNERS TRAP"

[@DevinDIABLOGriffin]

ArcaneOmen2041 How 'bout these gems: "AHG AHG AHG AHG AHG AHG!" (his laugh) "CAHM AWN, MANN!" "IT'S BUGGED AS FUCK, MANN!"

[@BrettonFerguson]

WHAT?! Oh my god! Did you see that!? BURP!

[@MrCheapBacon]

To quote nostalgia critic: Stop laughing at things that aren't funny you... weird alien man!

[@ZeroReaper42]

That Shadow Dagger puzzle actually took me a while to do, because I never used items in this game up to that point. I figured I handled my enemies well enough, so I never really used the items. It wasn't until this puzzle that I learned that your items do change functions depending on the magic. It took me a while to figure out, but I wasn't frustrated. I knew it involved the daggers, just didn't know how.

[@disneyerapowerrangers2923]

i can't believe he blamed sony and the developers for him breaking his controler.

[@anuskiller]

this physically hurts to watch.

[@birdsofdestiny6816]

No

[@MrEmiin]

1:16:04 really!!? THE GAME TELLS YOU TO MOVE THE LENS WITH R2!!!! MOOOOOVE IT! my god, this guy... i swear, if I was next too him while he was playing this game...

[@-TheSamurai-]

I have no idea what the hell "The Gillmore Girls" is all about, but that little segment you had with the annotations was pretty good stuff! I've never played a Castlevania game before, however I still enjoyed this video! We can clearly see that this game has way too many puzzles for Phil to handle:P

[@dreamteamjj6505]

Thanks bro lol....Gilmore girls FTW!

[@TrueGawa]

First thing he did is burping into the microphone! At least he stays consistent!

[@dermaskiertemuchacho6139]

01:06:55 "I'm not a fucking genius" - DSP True, very very true.

[@PolarPhantom]

I find it funny he keeps blaming Kojima when he just had an advisory role. Really, Mercury Stream is more to "blame" for his poor skills.

[@reignofrock]

One of the best overall gamers in the country.

[@SuperfluousMoniker]

So according to Wikipedia... Kojima's input included advising Cox's team to redesign some of the lead character, Gabriel, who he felt needed a "more heroic face". Originally, Gabriel's design resembled a classic barbarian, before Kojima then advised the staff to refine him into a character that was more relatable for the player. (...) Kojima also oversaw the Japanese localization of the game (...) Cox stated that Kojima otherwise allowed the actors a lot of freedom with the project.

[@apugalypse_now]

I've not played the game, so I might be wrong, but this _does_ seem like a pretty esoteric game. Castlevania was doing this in the old days too; remember how to summon the tornado in Simon's Quest?

[@FlamingGnats]

There's nothing complex about this game, and this is coming from a guy who generally dislikes this type of game and rarely plays them.

[@DCFCfanatic]

This game wasn't even a Castlevania game when it started. what the heck was it going to be? Konami just liked it and changed it and this is what we got. A mixture of God of War and Shadow of the Colossus. This game's dlc also happens to have the most frustrating boss battle, The Forgotten One, ever. I must have spent days just trying to kill him. He has no actual pattern and you just have to go in when you see him do certain moves that you know you can get a few hits on him and then back away. You have to chip away his armor several times before he can be defeated. Cheap boss.

[@FlamingGnats]

Lol at anyone who thinks the Lords of Shadow games aren't great. Get better taste shitlords.

[@rolandlee2937]

this one is actually really easy to figure out

[@d4arken3ds0ul]

DCFCfanatic lol no The worst part about the forgotten one boss is his weak point gimmick Now THAT was bullshit Also Gabriels transformation into dracula (or dracul, watever...) was kinda lame

[@jackhazardous4008]

"what's the point of a dodge if you're not invulnerable during it?" this just proves how bad he is at anything.

[@SuperArppis]

You know, this game did have challenging bits, and I had game over few times. But I didn't think this game was overly hard or anything. Game also had surprisingly long running time for modern video game. :) Can't wait for the second game.

[@KillaK78]

When did they remove the T's from button?

[@atomsmasher703]

Phil... How about you just don't smash your controllers? It's not something you're supposed to do with them, so of course they will break from it...

[@scissormon]

Well, this will be my first time watching a DSP fail of a game I just finished, it's gonna be magical lol

[@linushyper300]

The only old TIHYDP I haven't seen yet!

[@BlueNeonGames]

I couldn't believe my eyes when he unlocked the puzzle solution (1:05:26) for the electric gate labyrinth puzzle and then goes on to blame Kojima again. He still couldn't solve the puzzle immediately! Jesus...

[@clintarama3430]

that titan fight was painful to watch. They hold his hand so much and he still didn't get it. Then right when you think he figured it out...nope!

[@ManowarHeigou]

I wish DSP would play Ninja Gaiden 1 and 2 the 3d ones. Holy shit he would quit both of them like a scrub.

[@TheWickedGamerOGChannel]

You read my mind on that.

[@judahsoremy9857]

He did play Ninja Gaiden

[@TheWickedGamerOGChannel]

The remakes? Because that's what he was talking about. I already know he played the NES Ninja Gaiden.

[@judahsoremy9857]

Virtua Kazama Oh, I thought you meant the old one. The new ones are much easier. And he's too much of a scrub to play it on Master Ninja, especially for a playthrough.

[@TheWickedGamerOGChannel]

Judah Soremy Oh yes, even at the easiest setting he will still mess up. He wouldn't even last on Master Ninja.

[@TheLunarLegend]

So finally got around to beating this game so i can watch this and... holy crap he made it to the end of the game without realizing he can just punch the ground without needing to jump lmao

[@cristinin45]

Oh man. The Lycan boss was difficult to watch. Didn't even fucking bother to fill up his shadow/light magic then just proceeds to spam XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX the entire fight. Fucking christ.

[@wolfman-zd1ed]

SILVER DAGGERS. WEREWOLVES. Jesus Christ, I'd think even Ross from Game Grumps would be able to puzzle that little mystery out.

[@mageofjapanbackup]

Am shocked if he would even read a guide I would think he find the most female looking art in the game and just drool and go "HUH THIS DOESN'T TELL YOU ANYTHING"

[@CrizzyEyes]

Hey man, when this dude fails, he fails spectacularly. He's like a train that wrecks seven days a week. You just can't stop watching.

[@FreeArtFreestheWorld]

24:08 What video is that Panda Lee clip taken from? LOL.

[@BrettonFerguson]

"Lame ass PS3 bluetooth controller delay" So use the cord and plug in the controller. I assume he has a cord since he was able to charge his controller. Maybe he thinks the cord is only for charging. Notice the shitty ass PS3 bluetooth controller delay disappeared after awhile. Te was able to catch the rock and throw it back everytime no problem. Almost as if he just needed to practice and get the timing right and there was never anything wrong with his controller or the game.

[@TheMrCHELL]

He needs a strategy guide to defeat a Titan (in a game that is telling you what to do...) My God... (and Kojima had almost nothing to do with the game). I can't wait to watch TIHYDP MGSV TPP. It will be a fuck fest.

[@MetalShadowX]

39:18 Bruh I literally did this part this now; I wanted to try and play this game someday because of this video and this was so easy. Just gotta do a strong attack/combo (I went with Guillotine because it's absolutely broken) on the bones when they're scattered to kill them. It's baffling how he does so poorly at games, I'll admit some parts drag a little bit but it's usually of my own doing Edit: but I will say the following puzzle I totally figured out because of this video, probably would have taken me a good 10-15 mins otherwise lmao

[@CaptainDoomsday]

What amazes me is Phil's lack of logic. No, there will NEVER be an area where you need to buy a skill to get through, because then if you didn't have enough of whatever you buy skills with, that game would be literally unwinnable. Not "poorly designed," which he'll obviously write off any game he sucks at as, but actually not eligible to be shipped. Following this, any time there's a source of something near a puzzle, that something is probably involved in the solution.

[@coreym8145]

i just finished this game and its dlc, i thought it was a challenging game so i decided to see if there was a TIHYDP series and to my delight there is X'D

[@09MartialArtist]

" special puzzle solving dagger " reminds me when he called sun downer a puzzle boss from his metal gear rising playthrough lol

[@benirall1246]

"bAAg" it gets me every time

[@jakedge3]

I'm amazed he's holding his own against the olrox boss fig-oooh no he's dead.

[@judahsoremy9857]

DarkScrubPhil

[@eishikibahamut]

you probably are if you're willing to argue this much

[@martinzalle]

43:24 Phil: Wow, got me... Me: Is he finally not blaming the game for once? Phil: ...Probably because he wouldn't run straight. Me: *sigh*

[@yesIamovereighteen]

If you imagine he thinks his own name is Kojima this video makes alot more sense. "How many times can Kojima fail in this playthrough" at 1:25:00 for example.

[@pinkdude3055]

I have ADD and I beated the game.

[@unfw]

Well, Kojima was brought in for some character design work and helping with the voice acting. However, I don't think he was part of developing the gameplay.

[@fredrichfernando6798]

1:11:16

[@TheKingOfScrub]

When he was raging at Kojima before he said that i hurt out with laughter. Kojima didn't even do anything with this game lol.

[@yesIamovereighteen]

I recently got this game. Yeah, the throwing the rock back at the titan wasn't intuitive, but, no, the controls worked *perfectly.*

[@Tuck752]

i don't make a living off of youtube. i worry about getting an education and making a very successful life outside of the internet. it's never a good place to be at when you disrespect your subscribers when they're trying to help you in your playthrough's as well as bash the game for your own mistakes. and no. Criticizing is not "hating". hater or hating is a word used by people who can't come up with a valid argument to another's valid argument.

[@brycenmarion146]

how was i able to play this game almost damn near perfectly when i was 13

[@ZenithTheOne]

That laugh of his. Ugh.

[@MisgnomerProductions]

Why does he always burp while he's playing? Does he think people like listening to him burp while he sucks?

[@herrer41]

20:40 if Bluetooth controllers suck, then other controllers like the 360 and wii controller suck?

[@Whitefox789]

Guy says Blutooth as a technology sucks ass, well then why the hell is everyone using it? Sheesh he might as well say USB ports suck ass too.

[@BrassheraldLP]

I like his claims that the game got bad reviews from places, the lowest seems to be around 7.5, and it has a Metacritic score of 85. I mean, it wasn't like a GOTY contender, but those are not bad reviews.

[@Nightwing9337]

And he's started on Lords of Shadow 2 with a great line of who does Patrick Stewart voice.

[@EternlDepression]

Oh hell yeah, got my popcorn ready

[@cheejun7719]

how do i punch the button ??? hmmmm

[@icecsm16]

I just tried out this game and isn't even that hard lol.

[@magicalhermitcrab5912]

Can anybody translate what he says at 55:16? All I hear is frustrated, gouty nonsense.

[@cygnuz2012]

I honestly cannot believe it, this is the last time I'm commenting on one of these because I'm just repeating myself. He blamed the CONTROLS... AGAIN. Are his hands deformed or crippled in some way?

[@MunkyDrag0n]

He HAD to have been walking into the poison on purpose! You can see a black trail right there and he makes a deliberate effort to walk into the green areas. He then walks in circles inside them until he dies. At this point, I think Phil has given up on games, his fans, and on life.

[@HiroKonobu]

Your mostly right Aria of Sorrow(GBA), and Dawn of Sorrow(DS) were the names.

[@doublegaming4889]

13:37 Wait and pick your moment, Phillip. 😆

[@HungryJack215]

In Phil's defense I sucked at this too, never bothered to beat it. All the Castlevanias from up to the PS1 games no problem. I play this, and it's a completely different pattern to learn.

[@MrT13X]

I would pay money to see Phil's walkthrough of VLR. But i guess it will end on the very first puzzle lol.

[@JaceStCloud]

Brilliant. Will there be anymore this is how you don't plays? Kingdom Hearts? Anything?

[@IHMyself]

"Japanese style puzzle" 🤣

[@reborno-o4498]

I'm confused, did the game really ended there? I recall it being longer with Satan as the final boss. Unless, I played an updated version of the game?

[@chelseaflagrun9835]

yay! My constructive criticism improved your grammar, always glad to make an impact!

[@NevadaTanDisco]

One thing that i picked up during this playthrough: Can't do a puzzle? Calls the PUZZLE dumb.. Can't figure out how to beat a boss? Calls it a "stupid boss fight".. Honestly, why are people subscribed to him?

[@willwallace5751]

Now I see why the chat helps him so much cos watching him solve puzzles is painful

[@redberrey3754]

i laughed so hard when he clearly used the chat to figure out a puzzle and tried to play it off and when he couldnt make that work he actually tried to punch the door

[@Holgast]

Are you seriously saying that everyone who's popular deserves their popularity? I bet you like Justin Bieber and PDP too.

[@dtims3262]

I'd love to see Phil play the og Castlevanias to see how fast he quits.

[@dawolfymaister8112]

59:16 THE FUCKING BUTCHER LITERALLY TELLS HIM WHERE THE FUCK HAS TO BE HIT IN ORDER TO KILL HIM. this guy...

[@pedroemo5477]

Ok so how do u punch the switch??

[@Kyoshiro5411]

well for starters im not a youtube partner, i dont see how thats some sort of metric for my gaming ability LOL, and secondly how much money are YOU making for gaming?

[@MrHavenforLIfe]

God, he can restart how many times as he wants but you cannot be a boss by not doing the whole fight.

[@BlackTalonZero]

"Did you rike it?"