This One Mistake INSTANTLY Kills Your Story

[@johnnytownsend4204]

One of the info dumps that is an instant turnoff for me is the self-description. "As I passed the mirror, I took a good look at myself. 5'10", with curly brown hair, a dimple in my chin..." and so forth. Puh-lease.

[@b.howard4526]

What if it's to show the outward change the inner change has made? Like, "They were right. She could hardly recognize herself. There was a wisdom in her eyes and a maturity she had never seen in herself." Yada yada... ??

[@johnnytownsend4204]

@@b.howard4526 It's all about the art of the description. I'm talking about info dumps, like the video. Alyssa also shows ways to incorporate the info more successfully. It certainly CAN be done. I'm saying it's a turn off when it's done poorly, which is exceptionally common.

[@briankilgore8808]

This made me laugh.

[@susiepam2716]

Very informative but also distracting to have to pause the video 5 times.

[@thatguyfromcetialphaV]

That sounds like Dan Brown...

[@WRLO56]

Tip #3: I think of this as "As you know, Bob" dialogue: Very often, it involves one character telling another character something they are both well aware of. I forget where I heard this term but I've always found it useful.

[@TheJimSkipper]

I’ve seen this in too many shows. Ugh

[@AlyssaMatesic]

This is great!

[@yvesgomes]

Yeah. I remember hearing about this expression, too. Maybe it was from Alexa (the authortuber, not the Amazon app).

[@rbowdenscipio3408]

Yeah, although her example wasn't very good. The dialogue she demonstrated initially would be fine for two characters who were just getting to know each other. It's not like the days before the internet when we had only a handful of TV stations and no social media - having a shared framework or experience was largely guaranteed back then. But now, especially thanks to social media, people can watch the same event and have wildly different takes. In fact, the second character could easily respond with, "What do you mean? Those times were great!" etc. So the initial example ends up giving the reader information concerning the characters' social cohesion and isn't bad at all.

[@WRLO56]

​@@rbowdenscipio3408I disagree. Just because it's necessary doesn't mean it's not badly done, and that particular dialogue was not realistic at all.

[@scottmari]

Excellent tip on info-dumping - I struggle with this from intro chapter onwards. I'm certain everyone wants to know what type of engines the ship has, or how the fuel works. Transforming info-dumps to engaging dialogue is 100% - good tips.

[@zmanue]

Victor Hugo was like let me have a whole chapter on how sewers in Paris work, or you wouldn’t understand. What a King!

[@debcarroll8192]

Yes! I love him, though. Herman Melville is another one-- he might be able to dethrone Hugo as king of info-dumping.

[@zmanue]

@@debcarroll8192 Love him so much!

[@robynmarler1951]

I was just thinking of Moby Dick, most of it is about the technicalities of whaling, and it's dreamy and mesmerising💖

[@qhost_qu]

i was just gonna say. some classical authors (Dostoyevsky...) are quaking in their boots rn lol

[@JackWard66]

I argue that no matter what your genre- EVERY story is a mystery. The more you can intrigue (not confuse) the reader (and for me it's also listener as I write Audio Drama mostly) the better the story telling is.

[@tonwandnorth]

The practical examples were extremely helpful.

[@AlyssaMatesic]

So happy to hear that!

[@chrisr8183]

Yes, the paragraph examples are an excellent idea! And the way you explain what's wrong & then what's right, makes things very clear. Really well done Alyssa!

[@JamesRDavenport]

I think there is an instance you can get away with an info dump, when it would make sense for the character to have questions. In my WIP, I have slow riding scene with the MC and his tutor, she is taking him to see his father. The MC is a complete stranger in world, doesnt even speak the native language. It is her job to prepare him. He has a lot of questions about his Dad's past on the way, and in answering them, we get a mini history lesson and a foreshadowing of what might be required of the MC. It's not a monologue by her, but an instructive dialogue.

[@OLBK]

CSI autopsy conversations designed to informed a brain dead audience is the finest example. Listening to or reading such things makes my soul shrivel up and ask for mercy. Your videos are wonderful and very very clear. So helpful! Thanks❤

[@rad4924]

I've gone for the alternative technique to fix unnatural dialogue: I've started talking like that in real life. Every time I see a friend I now greet them by saying "Hello, as you know we've been friends since that fateful day 10 years ago when we collided with one another on those cobbled steps outside the bright green candy store on a warm summer's day."

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Haha, love it!

[@mccama19]

OMG, I love that! Everyone should start talking like that!

[@mattiasthornkvist7141]

I´m out of breath just reading that. Hilarious!

[@rbowdenscipio3408]

One paragraph = huge info dump? Holy crap, this strikes me as more of a self-own concerning the reduction of one's attention span. No one's getting through Dune or LOTR with that mindset, lol.

[@subtledemisefox]

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, and those were the first examples that came to mind. Even in other forms of media: What would Star Wars be without the trademark text crawl?

[@Cloneufc]

I'm a huge fan of info dumping, it's loved by males and hated by women.

[@TRYCLOPS1]

The issue is not info dump. It’s probably excess of it while slowing down the plot too much. But yea you’re writing a book, not a movie script. In a movie they can’t do that. But in a book heck yea. Just be moderate and make an attempt to be timely and plot-driving. You’ll be fine.

[@reinotsurugi]

Totally agree. I try to limit myself to one paragraph and I'm very aware of how I do it. I think the issue tends to be that the story isn't compelling enough to warrant the info dump or the reader feels that information would have come naturally in the flow of the narrative. Info dumps can be awesome. I read the Star Wars and the Godfather just to get that extra info because I loved the story.

[@patrickleighpresents749]

Some of my favorite stories have "info dumps" that can go on for multiple PAGES, but because of the way they were written, they kept me engaged. The reason they worked is because they were like mini stories, with rising tension, a climax, and a resolution. If an info dump is presented the right way, then it draws you in more. It all comes down to execution.

[@johnparnham5945]

Weaving in the descriptions into the narrative is something that I have to learn to do. Excellent advice and I am sure that I will improve my writing because of it.

[@Jus-X]

I often find myself info dumping in first drafts. Then when going back and working on the next draft or revising, I rework it to tie it back into the character's POV with whom we're following. Beta readers have also helped. I've gotten Google Drive comments that read: "Feels a little exposition-y to me." or "You're info-dumping here." Highly recommend having beta readers who can look over your work.

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Yes, beta readers can be so helpful for this! Info-dumping can be surprisingly sneaky and hard to spot in your own work.

[@ellamagnesunedelen7557]

Tell me about it: I do the same thing! Since I write without a time frame, I can afford to write info dumps all I want and later place that "info dump" in the architecture, in the food, in their daily activities; sometimes the "info dump" is surprise information for the main character that affects his behavior and acts as a plot twist.

[@joshzoolian7821]

In your last example, I felt the reflection could fit the flow of a book just fine. I was interested. It is realistic that a person could simply be reflecting, scene depending. I could also imagine a book hitting a scene that is there to show the information, and that scene itself feeling injected for no other reason than to check off the "don't do it the other way" box. Your point is very valid, well thought out, and SUPER appreciated on my part! Good education. But I think a writer needs to consider options that could work. Plenty of books have internal monologue with lots of different types of thoughts. If contemplating pertinent info is organically something that would happen in that moment in the flow of the story, then there's nothing wrong with having a moment of exposition. Time and place.

[@michaelmayo]

As a skiffy guy, this brought a smile to my face. At Clarion, our teachers were constantly warning us against the "expository lump" where the characters go, "As you know, our galactic empire, which was established hundreds of years ago and now includes more than a thousand planets..." and gave much the advice you gave. Here's a rough rule of thumb. Writing is hypotizing the reader, making them fall into the dream you're weaving. This is a delicate process and anytime you do something which breaks that dream and pulls them back to just looking at black marks on paper, then you've failed. That's why it's vital that you deliver information "on the run," that it's (more or less) smuggled into an action or a moment where it's appropriate to drop it. There are exceptions to the rule, but even these are controversial. The best example I know personally is "Moby Dick," which is practically all expository lump about sailing, whales, and catching them. Here it works for some people, but not all. There's not a lot of action in the book, and most of the book is set on a tiny ship in the middle of the sea, so Melville uses information to build out this world while we wait for something to happen. The people that love the book don't mind the infodump, but the infodump turns off a lot of people as well and makes reading the book a grind for them. You can also Overexplain as well. Some things should be kept a mystery as long as possible, and then reveal it only because you have to. My sterling example here is "Alien." (I know it's not a book, but it's a story so roll with me.) Our doomed crew lands on LV-427, find an alien ship, then find the gigantic "space jockey" navigator inside. The mystery of the ship and the navigator is never explained, and it made for a lot of interesting conversations what they were. Just how crappy Ridley Scott is as a storyteller (as opposed to a purely visual director) is that he decided to tell the origins of the ship and the alien, and they sucked. It was always better never to explain any of it unless you had a jaw-dropping explanation, which he didn't have. One more example is "The Joker." Nobody knows who he really is or how he got that way. Tim Burton got away with giving his Joker an origin, as well as Joaquin Phoenix's version, but I think it's less effective than Nolan/Ledger's Joker. If you know someone's backstory, it gives you a handle to understand them, and characters like the Joker work best when you have no idea why they are what they are, or what they'll do next. Ledger's Joker will always stay with us because we're always curious about him while Phoenix's Joker is going to fade the more is revealed about him. Nice video. Gotta go check the rest of your stuff out...😊

[@starklingspars8956]

I love the way you did this video! I paused every time. I am a slow reader so greatly appreciated you not reading it outloud but making us read it ourselves as it sank in better that way. Otherwise I'd have just lazily listened to you read it but it wouldn't have sunk in as well to think about it moments later when you analysed it. I hope you do one with a more advanced line by line issue. Like bringing descriptions to life and how much to describe and making descriptions fresh

[@aishaarshadalam3412]

I quite like info dumping at certain points. if its longer than a short paragraph then yeah too much but some places you do need an info dump

[@CynthiaRyelee]

Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for this video! I've recently continued a book I started writing and haven't touched in years, and I could already see info dumping in the first chapter. I am currently editing this and using your advice to make the story sound better. Thank you for your helpful videos🙂

[@user-is6yl9wi7e]

Uh oh. I need to go edit.... Thank you!

[@leaanngallardo2439]

This was a huge help to me Alyssa! Thank you for defining the subtle differences between organic information and info dumping, because I wasn't 100% clear on that, but I am now, thanks to you! ❤️

[@AlyssaMatesic]

I’m so glad it was helpful!

[@galaxylucia1898]

Thank you so much! Best thing about this video is that you use examples to show your point! This was a good reminder for us writers because as a reader… unless it’s jaw-dropping exposition, I am bored by it as well. Cheers!

[@samanthagomme2272]

Thank you SO much! 😄👏🙏🌟💃🕺🏻❤ I’m a new subscriber who has almost finished her first draft and I knew there was some info dumping in my first chapter. I only needed to listen to point 2 to have The BEST AHA! moment ever! I just planned how to: Reframe chpt. 1 Reshape a main character and an integral relationship Into conflict and the main goal immediately Intro the stakes and remove the info dumping! AND I have totally replanned the huge climactic scene later in the narrative! The stakes are higher and all these things have fallen into place! Woohoo!!! 🙏🌟🥰

[@brodor6277]

I think one of the reasons that info dumping in the first chapter is such a turnoff is that it’s basically getting a lecture before you get any story. The story is the important part, not the world. Yes, the world is important for your story, but without the narrative, the world is just a postcard.

[@scifidesign2]

Info dumping can be useful, especially with crime thrillers. You have to be realistic.

[@joshzoolian7821]

I agree, as long as it's done in a way that holds onto the reader. Showing info in a scene where a character is directly experiencing something is not the only way to deliver info. You can't break scene, but a scene can include introspection. And in the right moment of s story's flow, deep introspection.

[@S.W.Best-writer]

I’ve found that with a new novel I do that because I am getting used to the story, and telling me the story. Then I tend to cut it down or out in the second draft. (I’ve written 35 novels, 180-280k words , so I tend to trust that the reader will understand the story but it’s always tempting to tell them how it is and what’s happened before) 😁

[@jorgbuhler4521]

Actually I liked the "info dumps" about the volcano eruptions and the food rationing. They made me curious. I would have continued reading.

[@ellamagnesunedelen7557]

Here! Here! Why does a full paragraph have to be "info dump?" Did you ever read "The Blood of Elves?" After the prologue a lot of the story is dialogue and there's hardly any story! I was left with my curlers on waiting for The Witcher to kill the monsters. It doesn't all have to be dialogue.

[@mccama19]

Yeah, most of the examples of "Info-dumping" I didn't recognize as too much information and actually seemed pretty interesting. I mean, if someone realized that they needed to get to the Depot pronto, wouldn't it make sense in the story to say why? And yes, you can just put that information in a thought dialog, but it's just a different why to frame the same information, neither is better or worse. Honestly, I just use a combo of the two ways to express info. I think it's more of a matter of trying to be a good writer and writing more naturally, rather than always do A, B, C and never do X, Y, Z. There's no absolutely right and absolutely wrong way to write, you just have to do what's best for your story.

[@InvestigatingDavidCrowley]

Oh my!!!! (I'm probably guilty, too, but yeah...) I've read 51 books so far this year and the one I finished last night was THIS exactly! It was even during the supposed huge fight scene at the end (which went on FOREVER)...and not much was wrapped up! Argh! What do I know at the end? She was pregnant, her demon was a great father, and they liked kink. THIS WAS A TRILOGY and that's what this series ended on? Lots and LOTS of info dumping! When they're supposed to be in the fight of their lives the last thing I want to read is about how she was a witch who didn't trust her powers and how inadequate her father made her feel and how her witch library maybe didn't provide enough information/spells to help her beat the enemy. This trilogy contained info dumps throughout the series. A lot of which would have made the books better had they been left out.

[@yvesgomes]

You need to try video games. You're clearly reading too much.

[@InvestigatingDavidCrowley]

@@yvesgomes LOL Well, I do play Wow, so does that count?

[@yvesgomes]

@@InvestigatingDavidCrowley That counts a lot, actually! lol

[@InvestigatingDavidCrowley]

@@yvesgomes YAY! LOL I spend way too much time on that game.

[@jennifercassidy7884]

Attempting to write my first novel and grappling with this very issue. Very useful information. Thank you!

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Glad it was helpful! Wishing you all the best with your first novel!

[@fralou_sind_kreativ]

That was super helpful, thank you! I especially loved the examples of revised paragraphs!

[@AlyssaMatesic]

Glad it was helpful!

[@stillbuyvhs]

@8:10 Characters rarely have realistic conversations; realistic conversations are too long-winded, too full of filler words, & too repetitive for fiction. Rather, characters have conversations which fulfill dramatic conventions. Providing information is one such convention. Moreover, it's not as unnatural as writers & editors tend to think. If two people meet, they will spend some time establishing or reestablishing what each person knows before talking about any current situation. Try avoiding that in real life; the person you speak to will stare for a second, then they'll ask what you're talking about.

[@markunger1098]

I always enjoy these videos! Sometimes all you need is a gentle nudge to make you see an issue

[@StellaAmelia0]

Thank you for this video! It's truly helpful that you give examples on what you mean! I'd love more content like this :D

[@rowan7929]

You pointed it out in my opening chapters too (especially chapter 2) and in the last few days, I've made huge changes to them. Now it should be smoother, more natural sounding even through dialog. And describing the thoughts of the character which was lacking of.

[@AlyssaMatesic]

I'm so glad to hear those edits helped with the flow of your opening chapters!

[@geoorobo1549]

I agreed with all you said except the last example which I thought was fine and didn't slow down the flow. It also depends on the type of genre. I read a lot of Literary fiction books where there is a lot of internal reflection of the characters.

[@marcomagiolo]

Thank you. You are the best!!!

[@gonzoteacher]

I love this video. I actually wrote (info dumped) one chapter of background for each regular chapter thinking I was being creative and providing the info the audience needed. Looking back it was good for my own edification of the issues impacting my protagonist and the general plotline. Now I am going to revise my manuscript without the info dump chapters and just pick out some key elements that can be used. Thank you!

[@justjasmine79]

In 1984 Orwell put in the “appendix” an expanded explanation of “newspeak”. I would have considered it info dumping if it had been incorporated directly into the narrative. Ironically, I enjoyed this little essay at the end just as much as I enjoyed the book as a whole.

[@koibubbles3302]

My method for fixing just about anything is adding extra scenes. If I can’t find a good story beat to sneak in some important information, I invent the story beat. Maybe I want to get in some historical information about the world, if my characters are the right age I could make a study scene where they’re quizzing each other. Can’t find an opportune moment to describe a character’s appearance? Have them draw themselves or have someone draw them. Sneaking information into jokes also works.

[@BbGun-lw5vi]

You have to be careful and make sure the new story beat advances the story, otherwise it’s still a problem.

[@koibubbles3302]

@@BbGun-lw5vi yes, it always has to serve another function. Fortunately, many scenes can be used as "characterization scenes" which are quite easy to make

[@BrendanConnell]

Many good points, and when you mentioned the introductory paragraph that summarizes a location I began to wonder if there are conditions to that as well. 6:58 Yes, the story briefly stops to explain the appearance, nature, and history of a place, but I was curious to know if the "noir narration" / "first person perspective" would apply to this as well. As much as I can imagine when the protagonist indulges themselves an interlude, wouldn't the example cited be comparable -- lots of info provided, but at the least with enough personality courtesy of the narration to cut it? Or is that the condition -- when an active narrator fills in the reader and not the omniscient narrator? - take care, slainte chugat

[@hbookreviews]

The examples really helped. Many thanks!

[@freedomthroughspirit]

So helpful! I'd read the passages and think that's not bad but then you'd show the improved and I'd go OH wow, yeah, that's better. 🤩

[@jasonkyler]

An info dump about info dumping... I am truly in the matrix now.🤣

[@impishrebel5969]

I don't worry about infodumping in the first draft because I just write a new draft starting on a blank page. Rewriting eliminates it easily when you're aware of the passages that need changed.

[@5BBassist4Christ]

My main mode of info-dumping is somewhere between the dangerous and safe side of #3, -in dialogue. I don't do the "Do you remember/as you know", but rather use my protagonist's curious nature to ask questions. *They walk pass a statue: "Who is this statue of?" (History lesson). *He hears a musician play a song: "Where did you learn that song?" (Description of culture). *They get attacked: "Why do they hate your people?" (Explain lore and mythology). Ect.. I like to think that I incorporate these conversations in very natural ways, which helps that my MC is a curious adventure who is eager to learn about the world, but I will have to scale it down by my final draft.

[@Momo-dv3ix]

I watched this at the perfect time and i have the exact scene in mind i need to revise!

[@kiki.arielscrystalco]

So helpful Alyssa, thankyou! :)

[@nelsoninthenorth6499]

I know I’m notorious for this 😂 That one narrative followed by the paragraph info dump was way too relatable lol. Some of mine can stick out like a sore thumb. I’m working on an epic fantasy where magic plays an active role and so sometimes I try to give important info in the story without overwhelming the reader. Just two days ago I wrote a chapter from my main character’s POV and he’s being escorted through a forest. Though there’s a mysterious person who tells him it’s more than just an ordinary forest through dialogue. Would that count as info dumping, or not really since the main character doesn’t know the unique features of this place? I’m still working around this, its a challenge but motivates me to get better at my craft 😊

[@michaelgarcia2973]

Hey Alyssa ..any James Patterson would you recommend for reading ?

[@jesterjay420]

My debut novel was written in an omniscient POV and I’ve spent the last year regretting not taking more time to revise it in a more limited viewpoint before publishing it.

[@PhillipXT]

I immediately thought of Spaceballs, where Dark Helmet turns to the camera and explains their whole plan for the viewers' benefit.

[@maryhobbins]

I learned I was doing a lot of info dumping in my debut novel. I also learned the best way to remedy those passages is to turn the scenes into a character's experience instead of the other way around.

[@webbsamples]

The examples were excellent.

[@stillbuyvhs]

@6:51 The re-written passage changes the information presented; it implies that the depot's clerk is uncaring. That may not be true; it could be the clerk is just trying to do their job with too few resources. Either way, the clerk's behavior isn't a necessary detail, unless the clerk will play some part in the story. I prefer the omniscient view for that passage.

[@markdickerman431]

Great advice. I was going ready to publish my first novel, but I’ll be giving it another look, now.

[@kerri-lynbryant293]

My writing flaw here. Need to stick a memory in rather than narration info dumping. Thanks for this. ❤

[@Sarcasmses]

One of my favorite moments of exposition comes from a TV show, The Wire. In this scene the captain of the homicide squad explains to one of his detectives how the squad works, in reality for the audience's benefit since the detective would already know this. However, in the show, the captain hates this detective. So when he explains to the detective how the squad works, he is purposely condescending to him, insulting his intelligence by explaining how his job works since he believes the detective is not doing his job. It's a great little moment of exposition: the audience gets the info they need, and the negative relationship between these characters is expanded with even more reason for them to hate one another.

[@ElizabethMoon-n8m]

I remember a usually good writer suddenly interrupting an exciting horseback chase after a murderer...to explain how horses' height it measured, something immaterial to the actual chase. I suspect because the writer had mentioned the height of the murderer's horse, she suddenly felt it was necessary to explain...but it was a jarring moment in the story, since the POV character would not be thinking about how to calculate a horse's height but how fast her own horse was running and whether the murderer's horse was going faster, slower, or the same speed. Or possibly an editor asked for an explanation and the writer just stuck it in there, because that's where the editor had commented "How DO you tell how tall a horse is? Will readers know what sixteen hands means?""

[@briankilgore8808]

Another great video. The text was helpful. Good idea to include that. I have a request. Could you perhaps do the same type of video about how best to navigate first-person narration? I use “I” too much. Thank you.

[@briankilgore8808]

Caesar got around this by referring to himself in the third person. It makes for awesome reading.

[@tylerheitmann1758]

Yes queen these tips are legit so helpful 🎉❤😊

[@theimaginarium]

Brandon Sanderson is especially guilty of the last one. But he is Brando Sando, so he can get away with it. Great examples (real howlers, honestly), great video, as usual. Thanks Alyssa

[@BGsBooks86]

My book opens up with a man dreading his upcoming divorce. He doesn't want a divorce, so he starts flashing back to how he met his wife, their dating life, their wedding, and their marriage leading up to the divorce. This is probably too much info dumping, but I need all these scenes in it. I wanted to show how their love slowly started to decline, and there's no way to explain all that without lengthy flashbacks. They're all told from the husband's perspective, so I would think it's fine. There are a few more info dumps throughout the book, but the first chapter is the biggest one.

[@koibubbles3302]

If the information isn’t 100% needed from the very beginning of the story, you could do flashback chapters where more bits of the characters life with their wife are revealed before they become relevant to the present story.

[@BGsBooks86]

@@koibubbles3302 I'd say the most important moments are: the meeting, the first date, the proposal, the married life, and the divorce discussion. I think it all needs to be there.

[@briankilgore8808]

@@koibubbles3302 yeah, I like this idea. But I understand the way EmeraldSword86 begins, too. It’s tempting to info dump, but as authors, we have to check ourselves.

[@BGsBooks86]

@koibubbles3302 every scene in there makes sense for the story I'm telling. I'll keep it like it is for now, but I'll see what potential agents or editors say about it before I do anything.

[@alannothnagle]

Thanks, this was very helpful! I think I'm pretty good about info-dumps, particularly since I read the worst info-dump ever a few years back. I had stumbled upon an audiobook from a popular crime series based in Brittany on KZbin. The murder was related to the theft of sand from Breton beaches, and at one point early on in the book the inspector's assistant essentially dropped his pants and let loose a truly massive info-dump about the value of sand in the manufacture of concrete and glass, how scarce it was becoming, and how crime syndicates are increasingly sending out excavators and dump trucks to French beaches to steal sand, thus destroying both the environment and tourism. His exposition could have been a Wikipedia article, and I suspected it was, although today you could write the same thing with AI. That was the point when I DNFed the book. Maybe the author got it right in his earlier volumes, but by this one he was getting pretty slack!!

[@TanyaStrongBooks]

This is exactly what I needed! Thanks

[@johnnytownsend4204]

I sometimes include a sentence of Italian in dialogue. But I don't translate it for the reader. I just have the response in English give a hint as to what the sentence in Italian was. So often when I read a novel that includes a line or word in another language, the author will follow it up with the English translation, which feels unnatural. I'd rather underexplain than overexplain. If the reader can't figure it out from context, they can always pull up an online translator. But it's not necessary for the reader to understand every single thing perfectly. The gist is often enough.

[@stevecarter8810]

Agree. I love Susanna Clarke's Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell because the magic in there is bewildering and arbitrary. The character motivations all make sense, but the fairies are, well, fey.

[@cosmicprison9819]

Not to be confused with dumping info - that’s when you tell others you’re heading for the John.

[@simonfernandes6809]

That's TMI: Too Much Information.

[@rons3634]

As a reader, I don't completely hate info dumping. A little is okay. Bits and pieces here and there are better than a huge lump all at once. Better to weave info dumps into the story and letting me understand things through dialogue or action. As a reader, I see info dumping as inexperience of the author, but I can live with a little of it. A paragraph isn't really a problem. Multiple pages would be a problem. What I used to see in a preface (I don't even read them anymore) is getting dropped into a scene between one or more characters who I don't know who are doing something I have no idea the meaning of within the story. And this scene would only make sense in the middle of the book somewhere. I'm liable to put the book down right there out of frustration. I haven't begun to care about the characters or the plot yet and now I'm even less likely to be interested.

[@Blackfoxparadox]

info dumping is sometimes necessary depending on the book subject. I need to info dump about chickens and how tgey lay eggs less when eating different food. Drawing thag out is boring, but its info the reader needs.

[@exdejesus]

Very helpful!

[@AlyssaMatesic]

I'm so glad!

[@RoronoaEmi]

I info dump in real life 😂 Sometimes writing “natural sounding dialogue” means re-learning how to engage with humanity.

[@adriang6259]

I wrote a alternate history with a 'timeline' in the prologue and I've been worried about it all along. Normally I hate info dumps in my work but this is the new history that the story is set against. Still worried about it.

[@Artindi]

I feel like I potentially don't "dump" enough info, is that possible?

[@cosmicprison9819]

The best (or rather: least bad) way of avoiding “as you know, Bob” dialogue that I’ve come up with so far is to include a “Bob who doesn’t know” in the scene. Like a child, or some other stranger, who knows just as little, or almost as little, about the setting as the reader - and can therefore ask a lot of questions that may seem “stupid” in the eyes of the other characters.

[@robertrdbrooks7658]

Thank You Alyssa for the much needed education. I learn via, what I call, KZbin University. And, compared to when I was growing up, pen, paper, dictionary. Wow! Social media and the educational tools online are a blessiinig. So, Thank You. I observe everyday people, myself included. I study good actors and actresses. Meditate, emulate, study their photo. Envision their likeness in a casual setting, having a casual conversation. Also, I imagine their likeness during an important, crisis, or catastrophic situation. What would they say? What would they do? How would they react or respond. I try to lay bread crumbs as they appear in the story. Without going on and on. I brief conversation, Casual not cardboard I call it. I envision good actors and good actresses, people I know on a daily basis. I try to create a work break room casual tone of conversation. Rather than a text book explanation. Originally I showed. Then I brought it up in the story as needed, through casual, lunch room, break room dialogue. What would this employee say in a natural setting. What would this actor or actress do or say in a casual break room, lunch room relaxed state. Rather than a text book explanation. Many naive people have questions, they ask professionals. And, many professional's such as doctors, lawyers, priests, scientists and such have answers. As daily lives questions arise. And, not before. Yes, I study every day people, along with the very talented actors and actresses. As well as scenes both in reality and the silver screen. I try to become the character wether professional, personal or in the movie. Placing all in the limelight of my imagination. Casual not cardboard. And never text book documented form. Thank You again Alyssa, for your much needed education. 😊

[@windangel7720]

Sometimes info dumping works- David Eddings in the beginning of Pawn of Prophecy began with an info dump that drew me right into the story, and set up the fantasy, fairytale feel of the story. It's rare for me to find anything like that. I just listened to an audiobook in which the first chapter contained so much info dumping I almost fell asleep. She advertises as a USA Today bestselling author and I can't imagine her books becoming bestsellers when her writing is that amateurish. Can someone explain how this happens when there are so many amazing authors who remain unknown? Why bother putting in so much effort when readers clearly don't care about quality? It's disheartening.😢

[@DannyBoy443]

Two things: First, the passage about the drone was like a mini story it had so much good info. Love it. Second thing, how can I get an "AM" gold font white pillow? lmao.

[@geovannymorajr.1065]

I like the collection of books on your bookshelves. Have a great day.

[@fa7355]

Breaking your reader's concentration by pausing important scenes (like combat scenes, which should almost always have a significant impact) and mouth-feeding them is definitely an issue. Like they always say, as a writer, it’s important to trust your reader. Take it slow and explain it when it’s necessary. And trust me, your readers will definitely notice everything (even your plot holes, haha)

[@chesterdavis27]

Nice work! I was going to make a comment during the video (on dialog and internal reflection) but then you covered it :-)

[@brindlebucker4741]

Would love to hear your opinion of Barabara Kingsolver's Demon Copperhead (Pulitzer Prize wining book). I found it to be a tour de force on how to manipulate first person narrative to best effect. She blends telling with showing so effectively, it's seamless. Her descriptive prose is so devastating the passages where she is 'telling' and summarizing read like passages where a writer goes to a lot of effort to 'show'. I knew she was great as soon as I saw how seldom she used the word 'I' even though it's a first person narrative.

[@ToTheNines87368]

Very helpful, thank you. I think I might be guilty of the last example. 😂

[@johannamiklos4352]

Info dumps make me think of author notes that didn't get cut.

[@stevecarter8810]

Just like a lot of current TV shows seem like the pitch treatment that never got developed

[@evalramman7502]

Those were all really pointed and useful criticisms and advice.

[@kittensmakingcandles]

Writing Tip #1: Skippable Info Dumps Write your story in such a way that Info Dumps can (a) be skipped, and (b) are easy for the reader to identify where it starts/ends so they can just skip to the end of it and resume reading where they want. An example is Tolkein's Lord of The Rings and all the songs. Another example is Watchmen and the pirate story. The bonus is that it also gives the reader more optional stuff (and maybe even alternate story meanings) to check out if they decide to do a re-read. As long as the reader can get a story, many are fine just skipping (or not understanding) sections of a book. This trick also works for sections of the book that don't fit the readers tastes (like sex scenes, violence scenes, etc.). You can actually use this trick to write to multiple different audience preferences at once in the same story. This trick also works in personal relationships: give people the option of enjoying the you they love. Writing Tip #2: Screen/Train Your Reader If you are gonna be putting unpopular (or wildly different) content in your book, do it really, really early. At least a taste of it. So the reader knows what's in store and will make the hard decision at that time to continue or not. Throwing curveballs early is usually when they are ready to make choices on what they can be flexible on, or whether they want this kind of story. An example of this is Martin throwing in a quick dash of heavy undead fantasy in Game Of Thrones early on to get the reader aware that kinda thing can happen in this story. This trick also works in personal relationships. (often called the Honeymoon phase)

[@apersonlikeanyother6895]

I think not setting the scene at the beginning is the worst. " A bullet passed by Janelle's head as..." jumping straight in to action often leads to the need for info dumping later. As a reader I want to be orientated in a world. I want that narrator's voice in my head, letting me know where I am.

[@stevecarter8810]

If it passes by Janelle's head and ricochets off the booster cowling as she tucks and rolls, almost winding herself on the metal floor of the docking bay? Those aren't locals, she thinks, kicking herself for accepting Fleeg's assurances of a federation-free job.

[@iivin4233]

Here's an interesting question. Are there any experimental or literary works of fiction that technically break the rules of good writing that you think writers can draw lessons from?

[@SzaboB33]

I know an example for this. "The Way of Kings" starts really slow. About the first 45 pages are: a Prelude, Prologue and then with a POV of a character that was recruited by the main character and then 8 months before the first POV chapter of the main character, about 45 pages in the book. Very unusual, but people do not seem to be bothered by it. I don't think most editors would let this fly. It's a 1200 page book though.

[@SleepParty30]

​@@SzaboB33I bought this book a couple months ago and Im about to start it. Im about to finish Sanderson's Skyward series, and I've enjoyed it greatly. Hope Way of Kings hooks me too!

[@SzaboB33]

@@SleepParty30 I just have passed the first chapters as well :D

[@sheld0n]

Thoughts about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy quoting excerpts from the guide?

[@tmntvspr]

I try to always have subtext in my writing where the sub text is the info dump, not the actual text or dialog. i.e. Drones flew over the canyon, reminding everyone they were prey to be reported on. Amy kept eye contact with irises, not lenses, so she kept her head down

[@RyanOsmond-tj6yn]

I'm writing a fantasy story. The main character spends some time trying to figure out what is going on. She meets a character who explains everything to her, and it might be a lot, but is all important. I'm worried about this being seen as info dumping

[@R.L.Sutton]

I read a lot of older books. Lovecraft does this a bit. I find if what is being written is interesting it does not bother me. The as you know stands out a lot me to me.

[@zanemarion7211]

Easy way to avoid info dumping is write it but then break it down and reword it so it is being told with the rest the book without the reader realizing it.

[@marias8007]

I picked up Keanu Reeves book and read a few lines omg 😮

[@krispstalkrew]

I have seen stories that has info dumping, and many expositions, but they are actually doing quite well and selling millions. Seems there is a community of readers out there that doesn't mind info dumping, in fact it's welcomed. But I got what you are saying, sometimes too much info dumping and expositions could really drag out the story and make the reader lose interest.

[@author.gabrielavrivera]

What book were the examples from?! It sounds so interesting lol

[@timmeyer9191]

Alyssa, I recently heard about some rumblings with the Science Fiction Writers of America organization. What was it designed to do? What has changed within it? Why is it having so much turmoil with resignations and secretive board meetings?

[@indpaedia1638]

You are really good. Cheers from India!

[@AuthorGuy1]

I once read a book where the MC suddenly started pages of internal monologue, in italics. It was awful, not only for the italics, but also because I don't have an internal monologue and view any usage of one as a poor writer's technique for info-dumping.

[@Klopp619]

I literally just restructured a chapter to remove info dumping. It was a tell not show moment as well.

[@LorneWagman]

the thing i''m writing is a comic book, I had a shamelessly long info dump at the beginning, I chapped it into several passages, and interspersed story throughout a good chunk of the beginning. I think it works, perhaps because There is no omniscience, the main character is speaking directly to the reader, breaking the third wall from page one. It is a comedy. it's a script for a graphic novel does it work? or is it just awful? I'm not sure yet. I love your insights, though some of them may not apply to graphic novels. me using my judgment on that. I'm sure this book is not for the big five, but I want to write it to the highest standard I can., I will be running it past a script editor soon, he is used to plays, which are very short. He claims plays are the highest of standards, he is an expert in Shakespeare.

[@skyshorrchannel3474]

Good one.

[@bondibox]

This episode hit my MS hard.

[@Ty-ti4et]

I'm currently trying to write my own book based of a dream I had when I was kid but I don't know how to go about writing all my plot points, character introductions, suspense, and the big reveal e