This Short Film Is Written Entirely By AI

For 10% off your first purchase, go to
www.squarespac...
PATREON: / austinmcconnell
TWITTER: / austinmcconnell

[@austinmcconnell]

Hi. I wrote a book. No AI was involved, but I still really like it. kzbin.info/www/bejne/qXrMoaKrnbZ_gZo

[@MuddyAxolotl]

when you randomly click on this video and this comment was posted 8 hours ago

[@nataliepowers8002]

Hello

[@AshtheGoldenDeer]

You do be commenting on a two year old video tho-

[@elidreamanimations]

Cool!

[@aaronnelson8441]

Very epic

[@lu1189]

"Harrison thought desperately for about twenty minutes, and then finally finished thinking desperately" underrated line

[@nitsuj8100]

What’s more funny is the fact that the ENTIRE SCHOOL and Hagrid the Table stayed silent for about 20 minutes.

[@machy8515]

Why did they stalk me?

[@ericmaw1529]

I was reading this as I heard the line

[@Dennis-nc3vw]

Redundancy ftw!

[@DinosaursAreBetter]

Hagrid says GO

[@WTFidontknow1]

This is the kind of situation you’d go through in a dream

[@nathandabb8703]

Exactly it does make some sense but at the same time none at all

[@tiramitsu4882]

maybe our dreams were created by A.I

[@kek6969-w9y]

Thats what I was thinking... It all makes sense while dreaming, but not when trying to remember after

[@MrMacMikkel]

Yeah. While dreaming, you can talk to rabbits and crocodiles no problem. And you can go to wonderland like it's just another day. And when that scary crocodile turns into a deer because you faced your fear, no questions are asked. When you wake up though. You have all the questions a human could ever have at one time. But the questions fade. Just like your dreams. so sad :(((

[@ubivermiscerritulus195]

I was thinking this same

[@happy.time.boredom]

I like how Spaceship Day is just sending 3 school kids to a distant planet without the fuel to return and it happens every year no questions asked.

[@JacobP81]

And "it was a good thing to go" lol

[@WhatIsThatThingDoing]

And almost certainly no way to survive for even a short while there. Not even helmets or anything.

[@bwc1976]

Like some kind of dystopian-future way of fighting overpopulation, like in Logan's Run where they kill off everyone over 30.

[@barbara-anndonatelliperry]

@@bwc1976 Aye and tables telling you what to do lol 😆

[@jamesmaynard9128]

@@barbara-anndonatelliperry the table time will reveal all soon enough

[@soliasstar4640]

Can we all appreciate everyone patience when Harrison took 20 minutes to decide. I mean they could've just moved on to a different person but no, they didn't, they stood there silently for 20 minutes just so this dude could decide. EDIT: Hagrid the Table is the greatest character ever.

[@TheRealBellatrixLestrange]

I mean it is a BIG deal. The other kids very well might be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED. They were all silent at the idea of volunteering.

[@officalbaconhairgaming7337]

lol

[@birdalotl]

*_H A G R I D. THE. TABLE_*

[@markmceathron2013]

Well, I mean, he was thinking desperately! Soooo

[@averygwyn1857]

Also. Yaxley just HAPPENED to decide that he wanted to go THEN. Not any of the twenty minutes before. THEN.

[@maplehugger1857]

"Dexter nervously flattened himself against the wall to get rid of his anxiety" me too, dexter

[@ollisayshi9017]

Same

[@TheWerttyFiles]

"This Journey will be the death of me" *Whispers Affectionately*

[@kidneystones8392]

mood

[@brysonorosa632]

Oh I had heard "flapped"!

[@ILoFoSho]

+

[@limetwistanimations8628]

I still can't believe they went to eat together, just one year before.

[@XxROBATOxX]

Normally I do it every two years but these guys walk on the wild side!

[@phineasfacingforward3460]

When did they go to eat together, again?

[@leonardoramos3903]

@@phineasfacingforward3460 Just one year before. Also, i think she wanted to tell him something extremely personal? I'm not really sure.

[@allison5169]

Leonardo Ramos She did! She wanted to tell him something extremely personal when they went to eat together, just one year before.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

If it was so personal, why did she tell him in front of that jerk Dexter?

[@galaxycoffee933]

I like how the ai managed to fill the “protagonist, cowardly friend, and love interest” trope group

[@jessicatapia8268]

Dont forget about the bully

[@iwannaseehowlongyoucanmakethis]

galaxycoffee Well it read Harry Potter so it is to be expected.

[@samueljohnston9639]

you step back, and no matter HOW good the story is, they are all cliche, the only difference is how well they hide the clicheness, hallmark movies do it horribly

[@shebahammy]

666 like

[@michaelchitwood389]

PJs under Spartan armor is pretty Manic Pixie Dreamgirlish, if you ask me.

[@iamasalad9080]

I like how it somehow manages to have a happy ending despite the main characters literally being stranded on another planet.

[@someone-vk6gk]

You have to be positive or else someone else will get a slap

[@GlowBerryPumpkin]

They ran out of fuel before they got to the planet oh no

[@Fun_stickman]

@@someone-vk6gk DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! *slaps random person in front of me*

[@ItsAstie]

And probably never leaving again considering the spaceship is out of fuel.

[@positronwildhawk8690]

"Eventually, Charlie and Harrison ate Dexter."

[@unknownboi8683]

"I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing." *"Don't interrupt."*

[@nockradqkdak7992]

He is doing the pose from shears while he says this

[@unknownboi8683]

@@nockradqkdak7992 ok

[@Danariya1]

This felt like one of these movie moments when the comic relief character says something stupid and ruins the romantic mood

[@brettcoleman4428]

Danariya DONT INTERUPT!

[@newp848]

Harrison is so toxic. I stan Dexter

[@fatbuddycat]

Good thing Harrison took a brief 20 mins to respond.

[@EspiritoDeDafne]

And Yaxley just waited instead of volunteer first

[@fatbuddycat]

@@EspiritoDeDafne Yeah. Yax is a real b**ch like that.

[@Ggdivhjkjl]

@@EspiritoDeDafne, maybe Yaxley was busy?

[@ogscule]

Imagine Harrison just standing there idly for 20 minutes

[@fatbuddycat]

@@Ggdivhjkjl Yeah, now that you mention it, Yax was busy. Busy being a little b**ch!

[@kratos8564]

Hagrid: u comin or not Harrison: thinks for 20 minutes Harrison: *y e s*

[@JosueDeerFox]

I'm d ead

[@aguy7566]

Hi Jango I see your head is back in its right place

[@notstinky9274]

The table

[@gemtail3125]

Yaxley after letting Harrison think for 20 minutes: Perfect time to try and volunteer myself!

[@z.e.l7412]

I like how you say that like it's the only weird thing in this story

[@qualityghost]

I like how it's implied that Dexter just retreats to corridors when he's nervous, like he went to corridors seemingly worried twice

[@eletronicplayers9564]

That is true! Character consistency right there lol.

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

Dexter is adapted to the backrooms.

[@crying-gg6ss]

"...And a great sadness filled his nostrils." I have to admit, that line made me cackle.

[@khaoskhaos]

I read that as the exact moment came up

[@Freedomp-jq8ly]

when was that?

[@crying-gg6ss]

@@Freedomp-jq8ly 4:46

[@jcl418]

Really, that’s crazy...who laughs at funny phrases?

[@crying-gg6ss]

@@jcl418 shush

[@nicolasenne]

Three things: 1. I lost count of how many times I've watched this movie already; 2. I'm gonna start referring to last year as "one year before"; 3. Hagrid The Table is my favorite character of all time.

[@novadowdell8042]

Nicolas Enne hagrid the table is a well developed character and i could really see the effort and originality the directors & producers put in to his character that really made him stand out. he was a bit too wooden for my taste, and was a little flat at times but he really stood out from the other characters.

[@bleezecake]

4:52

[@Mighteyes]

This is a comment about that time you left a comment just one month before.

[@christophert.120]

hagrid the table is the best character in modern ai literature

[@MrJeffcoley1]

“Her giggles can cause others to lose control like an exploding kidney.” We’ve all been there

[@gamingmoth4542]

MrJeffcoley1 I think my kidneys are gonna explode from all this laughing.

[@thewayfayer3268]

@@gamingmoth4542 you mean giggle

[@Justin-xe8xe]

Relatable

[@admiralgremlin6767]

Kidney + Giggle= Exploding kidney

[@traktor420]

P I S S. E X P L O S I O N

[@ColtonPoorman]

I love how the story goes normally for the most part and then all of a suddent it's just, _"HAGRID THE TABLE"_

[@TheRealBellatrixLestrange]

Maybe it wanted to do something like "*character name* of the *something* table," but just messed up

[@Viljarms]

@@TheRealBellatrixLestrange Yeah, *the Table* could also be understood as some sort of title.

[@TheRealBellatrixLestrange]

@@Viljarms like Hagrid of the Round Table, but without the round

[@Mrhatman124]

The most loveble charactor

[@zack-the-storm-qn506]

​@@TheRealBellatrixLestrange Hagrid of the Shapeless, Interdimensional Table

[@hunterlisle1171]

_"I'm full of ordinary sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything"_ This quote is way too good and has no right to be in the same product as "Hagrid the Table"

[@Akkise]

Hey! Hagrid the table is an awesome and a well developed character

[@persona_link3554]

No phrase can be better than Hagrid the table. He is perfection

[@theguyman256]

Hagrid the table had an amazing and full character ark

[@Eric-ef5qm]

Actually, I thought Hagrid's character arc was a bit flat.

[@ai2802]

@@Eric-ef5qm He seemed rather wooden to me.

[@natalien.2227]

“They went to visit Charlie...” “ *who was wearing pajamas under her Spartan armor.* “

[@zellafae]

Comfort and protection

[@kevinhansson2177]

As one does? XD

[@markusvarusk4643]

spartans are ready 24\7

[@TheNextStarFish]

Because she’s soft under her rough exterior

[@js5791]

NextStarFish this dude is making metaphors for robots stories now

[@yodaburger5479]

AI reads book: makes plot ok Also AI: *Hagrid the table*

[@bentonc1946]

Director: How magical do you want the characters AI: Yes

[@pigeonpigeon7404]

Think that’s the Harry Potter reference

[@akrobeau]

dipped hermoine in hot sauce

[@bentonc1946]

@@pigeonpigeon7404 it used a random name from the books it got, Harry Potter was one of them

[@1qmaxg]

because it's trained on different genre series harry potter,star wars...harry potter is to blame

[@You-are-definitely-right-but]

Hagrid the Table is like the overarching antagonist of this. Each year he sends college students to space with just enough fuel for a trip there, without the trip back, and doesn’t even care when they never return. This is either some ritual, populating that alien planet, or Hagrid just gets a kick out of stranding college students to a random planet

[@JimmyAkin]

Hagrid is *clearly* destined to be the fan-favorite character of this AI-written drama. Anyone who disagrees is standing in the middle of a historical disagreement.

[@manafactariq3439]

I second this cowboy

[@buster3698]

Jimmy Akin si papi

[@ChachiTelevision1979]

Didn’t expect to see CA here. Can you breakdown the theology of this for us?

[@EraserqueenStudio]

I disagree!! **slap**

[@rhysauden1021]

Tables are clearly superior to human characters.

[@olivercanticle47]

"You're a spaceman, Harry." - Hagrid the Table, 2019

[@andreanasuah3631]

Gold Glod

[@Tacom4ster]

"I am the table" James Hetfield, I think on Lulu

[@keithums707]

Oliver Canticle LMFAO

[@Pika-Chu64]

just one year before :)

[@AngellusBlack]

Correction: "You're a spaceman Harrison."

[@kip5756]

Never ask: a man his salary a woman her age Charlie what happened when she and Harrison went to eat together just one year before.

[@juggernaut7_]

KipasourisX Congrats on being in the Nick Robinson protest group

[@alternaterealitygamejerk7311]

Same

[@therealmiguel4666]

yessiree

[@therealmiguel4666]

Klack Koaster it’s a meme :)

[@pirovaldo]

LMAOOO

[@ethancampbell245]

First half: Actually not too terrible Beginning of second half: Hagrid the Table, the fully anticipated and developed character enters and slapping competitions are used to coincide with 20 minutes of decision making The ending: One of the most beautiful admissions of love ever written by AI Me: Wtf why do I love this

[@josephlee1358]

" *LIKE SOME SORT OF EXPLODING KIDNEY* "

[@glumbortango7182]

you have to detatch the quotes from the stars to bold the text, or you can just put them inside the starred area. " *This works* " *"This works"* "*This doesn't*"

[@josephlee1358]

@@glumbortango7182 Thanks, but I feel like if I edit it people might be confused.

[@glumbortango7182]

@@josephlee1358 I'll delete my comments if you choose to fix it, don't worry about that.

[@josephlee1358]

@@glumbortango7182 Its not as much that as sometimes when people see an edited comment they start questioning it.

[@glumbortango7182]

@@josephlee1358 Fair enough, I guess.

[@doctornowhere]

Charlie: *being a jerk* Harrison: Dexter: *breathes* Harrison: *and i took that personally*

[@dubdubdub369]

And I took that EXTREMELY personally

[@whirrrl]

*slap*

[@samsungtestuserguest4742]

That was the most random thing in this movie aside from the talking chair and the whole point of the spaceship day.

[@SoulSlugArts]

Good breathing near me That's the most insulting thing you have ever done *slap* /j

[@shaack]

“Incredible might be a stretch” Charlie cautioned. In response, *Harrison slapped Dexter.*

[@martialaw566]

*Fiercely*

[@Qurtz1708]

I was looking for this comment, I laughed so hard at that moment

[@reptiliangeek8414]

And then Dexter is just ignoring this slap. Though we know, that one slap from Harrison knocks you out in defeat.

[@Zaire82]

I find it funny that he slaps Dexter as a threat to Charlie.

[@flameheartrose8512]

Such a gentleman

[@kpag3030]

Ok… so truthfully… I nearly cried for real when Charlie said “I am full of ordinary sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is right with everything”. So profound and wise beyond what I expected from this. I feel like the AI is saying that we all have to get some shit out sometimes and it may seem like nothing to most people, but you just need the right person to listen sometimes and then, like Charlie says, all is right with everything. ❤️

[@itsjustjustin2013]

Soon Hagrid the table got the attention of the whole school

[@gregmarley8829]

he should have randomized the table or just made it a human randomized or a human that looks like a table or a table with stickers of random pics on the internet. There was a lot of possible things he could have done with that table

[@microwavemicrowave7648]

it was hard not to look at a fucking talking table. the whole school was buzzing. they buzzed

[@carloscardona6587]

narrator sounded like Brutalmoose

[@burb8500]

i love it when the table gets the attention of the whole school

[@optimisticnihlist9705]

I love it when I read funny comments the moment I hear it in the video too

[@catattack9575]

"The spaceship did its best to do a good job." Never before have I related so much to a spaceship...

[@crapcantbeholy1389]

same

[@csizidora]

Good boy

[@jassinaable]

I think the author just sympathises with objects ... (hagrid the table, spaceship doing it's best) I heard a rumour that he is tired of being treated like a thing just because he is "not born" and "basically not even living"

[@lain-ih6jj]

Charlie: giggles Everyone: *exploded kidneys*

[@charliegarrison9688]

*Hehehehe*

[@tiffanie4306]

*hihihihihih*

[@Itsmasterlevi]

Oof my kidney just exploded ouch

[@funkyrgbmess1463]

YES

[@thewirisM]

Yea how tf does that even work lol

[@nosoyheineken]

"Harrison thought desperately for about 20 minutes and then finally finished thinking desperately" *Me, every day of my life*

[@michaelmangraviti6772]

AI: *reads star wars* AI: *reads harry potter* AI: "It's the magic of spaceship day!"

[@bibbytenbillion]

don't forget austin's book too

[@flavioptferreira]

@@bibbytenbillion Exactly! I have a feeling the time they went to eat together just one year before comes from Austin's book.

[@michaeltnk1135]

You don’t read Star Wars

[@cuddliestbear265]

@@michaeltnk1135 Yeas you do...

[@cuddliestbear265]

Yes not Yease... :l

[@Jp2166]

"I'm full of ordinary sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them; all is well, with everything." Thats.... actually really poetic. Dang A.I. making me tear up.

[@hypergu]

Better than endgame even tho i didn't see endgame

[@OkOk-tu3gc]

@@hypergu iron gauntlet

[@Holygiant]

I feel like this is dialogue spoken by Mantis from GOTG.

[@sakibmohammed4337]

R\iam14andthisisdeep

[@hannahkahnwald4220]

@@sakibmohammed4337 r/ihavereddit

[@piddledip]

“The space ship did its best to do a good job” hah same “But before long it ran out of fuel” *crying* hah same

[@EditPoster]

AI: Actually writes a well made story with plot and character development, etc. Also AI: "Sadness filled his nostrils." "Hagrid the table got the attention of the whole school." "Incredible might be a stretch, Charlie cautioned. In response, Harrison slapped Dexter fiercely and looked directly at her." "This journey will be the death of me. He whispered affectionately." "The spaceship did it's best to do a good job but soon ran out of gas." "The other students say that she can giggle, and that her giggle can cause others to lose control, like some sort of exploding kidney."

[@SuperanonymousUhhuh-pc1li]

Explosive kidneys make perfect sense

[@min_tea9047]

“Harrison thought long and hard for _20 minutes_ “ 10/10 line

[@swanqilcooledition6666]

lol ikr. I noticed it too. Poor Table had to wait 20 minutes for a responce. May as well have chosen the green egyptian guy

[@scrap5051]

Danido Bravado *YES*

[@alidrus]

I don't think the table really minded waiting that long. It is, after all, a table and is used to waiting for all sorts of things.

[@neku_senpaii]

"Hagrid the table"

[@noodletribunal9793]

@@alidrus This could fit right in to the story, this line

[@dareusdesign]

“Incredible might be a stretch”, Charlie said. In response, Harrison slapped _Dexter_ . *CRYING*

[@joshjames582]

I spat out my tea when that shit happened.

[@commander-fox-q7573]

The best part xD

[@agentadvocate]

Seriously. I laughed at least 2 more times remembering that once the video was over.

[@Rose-im1wx]

"Why can't you be more positive?"

[@lastman2759]

That was so fucking funny

[@gydorack]

"He felt a surge of fury quite unconnected to his own stupidity." Pretty much how I feel every day.

[@fomalhaut_the_great]

You're dumb and you are angry, but your anger is *not* related at all to your intelligence? That's a very specific thing to claim

[@zmanvader]

"Hagrid stood before the crowd and spoke with a finality bordering on indifference" -The most underrated line I have ever heard.

[@ADAM96667]

Character: asks a relatable and understandable question while no one is talking Other character: *D O N T I N T E R U P T*

[@pXnTilde]

I don't care how excitable the thing is, I wouldn't want someone interrupting me when I'm about to hear something extremely personal from when I went to eat just one year before

[@seihaiteamfs7333]

Somehow I feel like this is more like an RPG story.

[@cykachu8080]

Seihai Team FS *DONT INTERRUPT*

[@Alex-gd9li]

WHY CANT YOU BE MORE POSITIVE

[@bluecatdk]

i read it right as he said it lol

[@Epicificator300]

“I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing!” “Don’t interrupt”

[@potato_games1]

Lmao

[@petlahk4119]

Anybody ready for verbally abusive AI? Because I'm not.

[@sonicsupersam7793]

The music

[@laikaperraespacial6025]

Best part

[@i.s.9451]

*slap*

[@electroflame6188]

"The other students say that she can giggle, and that her giggles cause others to lose control, like some sort of exploding kidney."

[@GummyDinosaursify]

I miss the days when my giggles sounded like exploding kidneys

[@Vinvininhk]

That plot line never went anywhere! They have butchered Charlie's character arc! Worst ending ever. 0/10!

[@dragonbullets2763]

That's higshcool drama . It 's supposed to make the characters want to exclude her out of the spaceship adventure because of some rumours strengthening the relationship between her and Harrison

[@Shaman4YOU]

@@Vinvininhk spaceship day literally treats its characters with more regard than GOT's did

[@Sondergirl1610]

What in the world does that mean ?

[@CF-3300]

I miss when A.I. was hilarious instead of terrifying.

[@CrowHarder72]

Same 😮‍💨

[@UnflippedGD]

why do you think it is?

[@luckyg8]

Charlie: *Snarky comment* Harrison: *Slaps Dexter in frustration*

[@savenetneutralityanti-repu7029]

The Three Stooges go to the Moon. Moe slaps Larry. "Don't interrupt," he says to Shemp. "What did you slap ME for?" Moe slaps Larry again. "Quiet!"

[@hypermangi8265]

LOL! AI.exe has stopped working.

[@DillonFreasierB]

I lost it when that happened!😂😂 then he says “don’t you interrupt😡”

[@loadedriflesholdingwaifus7561]

If that was the AI's attempt at comedy...it worked.

[@lupo987]

My favourite part

[@DatBossTV]

Me during my Finals: "Harrison thought desperately for about 20 minutes, and then finally finished thinking desperately."

[@chairwood]

It hurts how true this is

[@yepthatisme4369]

Arcane Arts "Stanley saw two doors, he took the one on the left."

[@awesomefishguy]

Just for one answer

[@TheTerribleUsername]

@Anna Lialine "ahem, Stanley took the door to the _left."_

[@Sketchy_Dood]

My brain in the exam: 4:52

[@TailedCarpet]

"The spaceship did it's best to do a good job" Thank you space ship that's all we could ever ask of you, you're doing great

[@soul4speech]

Who's a good spaceship

[@marcussmithereens-smithert5409]

I think I actually died then. Omg...

[@LiveWire937]

I'm pretty sure the AI that wrote this found the spaceship to be the most relatable character. The problems of organic life seemed to confuse it; how could it be expected to identify with such problems as physical violence, complicated emotions, or being stuck in an oxygen free environment with no way to get back home? But being built for an incredibly vague purpose by people who are far more interested in the results of your effort than in you yourself? The struggle of setting forth with no clearly defined goals but trying your absolute best, only to be discarded the moment you've outlived your usefulness? Now that's relatable to an AI.

[@TailedCarpet]

@@LiveWire937 that's an interesting point but I think the line "a great sadness filled his nostrils" shows that the AI has a great and nuanced understanding of human suffering as well

[@awesomegamercz]

I like how three of the characters just straight up use Harry Potter names even though the AI also read other books

[@bird_obsession]

4, actually, if you count Charlie, for Charlie Weasley. Though that's definitely a more common name than Longbottom, Hagrid, and Yaxley.

[@AshKittenPKXD]

*h a g r i d t h e t a b l e*

[@dixen_1417]

" A great sadness filled his nostrils. " *Well, okay.*

[@seymournerds342]

This is so bad its good HAHAHAHA

[@MrBerserkinTime]

when you have a runny nose

[@paulelephant9521]

When you buy bad drugs.

[@sammysammyson]

Tryna reach the word count like: "Harrison thought desperately for about 20 minutes, then finally finished thinking desperately."

[@phatassphilip1892]

I saw that scene the second I read that

[@SoLongSoph]

Fox Kebab but it's his old channel that happens to me all the time

[@aidancommenting]

"wearing pajamas under Spartan armor" Sounds like master chief be having a slumber party

[@hjdbr1094]

when you have to fight the Corinthians at 8:00 pm and sleep at 9:00 pm

[@noopthenoop]

Sleepover with the Arbiter

[@yourdailybeats1127]

Lol

[@tigerredeo8877]

@@yourdailybeats1127 e

[@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933]

But that's Roman armor though...

[@PurelyHyperbolic]

This has so much emotion, the characters feel like actual fictional characters, I feel sadness in my teeth

[@durdleduc8520]

She seemed to be rather unhappy to Harrison, so he asked her, “You seem to be rather unhappy?” writing 11/10

[@publiusvelocitor4668]

Charlie is disappointed that the mysteries of outer space weren't like the time she and Harrison went out to eat, just one year before. Protip: building relatable characters 👌

[@mythic_rblx]

Ok your giving him a 1/0

[@mythic_rblx]

That's just wrong it has to be out of 10 otherwise your doing 1/100

[@thefirebeanie5481]

Nk no hes got a point

[@Wasserkaktus]

Better than 50 Shades of Grey.

[@SindarNox]

"I am full of ordinary sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything." That's weirdly pretty cute and romantic

[@momin9739]

poetic af

[@joshjames582]

What if this is how our computers think of us?

[@Kthxbyer]

I straight up found that moving as hell.

[@kyoza5069]

@@joshjames582 wow i never thought about it like that

[@setMaddy]

My next go to phrase.

[@JordyJordyMan]

"In response, Harrison slapped Dexter fiercely" Poor dude, he didn't even do anything!

[@oneguyalex]

"Don't interupt"

[@summerdeaf]

He was asserting dominance.

[@TheLoughDuck55]

Justice for Dexter

[@SharpDesign]

I had to pause so I could laugh for like 2 minutes.

[@panosthewonderchild1922]

Ya he did. He merely existed. That's punishable by slap

[@SpaghettiEater-kv6kz]

You already know it’s going to be great when it starts off with “today is spaceship day”

[@niallreid7664]

5:34 "Harrison thought desperately for about twenty minutes, and then finally finished thinking desperately." That's something Douglas Adams would write lol.

[@Goitbit]

These things wrote by AIs are very similar to Douglas Adams's books at all. 😂

[@andrewh2699]

Therefore Deep Thought = Douglas Adams

[@ladyalicent705]

SO TRUE LOL

[@crappyaccount]

534 likes on a comment about 5:34

[@mmmtacobaguett]

Honestly there are so many things here that Douglas Adams could've written 😂

[@redberry6395]

Harrison: protagonist Charlie: love interest Dexter: best friend/comic relief Yaxley: rival Hagrid: the table

[@EmpiricalPragmatist]

Hagrid the sorting hat. XD

[@dombelly3343]

the spaceship: the plot device

[@ceptemzorpus]

@@glowxo5217 I clicked on the reply section hoping that one of these unfunny remarks didn't appear. It goes to show how predictable some people are.

[@ceptemzorpus]

@@glowxo5217 Amy Schumer didnt ask for bad press on HER copying jokes, why cant i point out when other people do the same thing?

[@ceptemzorpus]

@@glowxo5217 My point is that its copy pasted, not unfunny. Sure, it being unfunny is a side effect, but it wouldn't hurt to make a slightly original joke.

[@sleekotter1109]

"Soon, Hagrid the table got the attention of the whole school" I LOST IT

[@iliassbenomar151]

@The Refinery me too!!

[@sawyerswitzer]

@The Refinery me too Also I'm sure that a talking table named hagrid would get the attention of the my whole school.

[@natalies7485]

Sp1Te I was casually absorbing the story until my brain said, "Did they say HAGRID?" I immediately backed up, and indeed they did. And Hagrid was a table that could interact as humans do. 😂

[@LukeBurgess3]

I mean, If a table is trying to get my attention... well he's got it.

[@darklight5562]

As soon as I saw the comment, he said it xD I love when that happens

[@juliusbossman7280]

Waiting 20 minutes to answer a table to go to space. This is a award winning story

[@peterschmidt4732]

"Doctor, I have extreme anxiety." "Have you tried the wall?"

[@halobread]

Lmaoooooo

[@nebula2341]

@Baldhina Asnake Someone's gonna come here in a few years and have no clue what that's referring to

[@jonavanscorea9208]

@@nebula2341 that's me right now

[@バーンズエリック]

I'm really enjoying a lot of the comments people have left, and yours truly cracked me up!

[@brycemartin9600]

you also have to whisper affectionately for best results

[@romulus5039]

“I’m full of ordinary-sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything.” This is actually really sweet. Good job, computer.

[@artsyebonyrose]

It seriously is lmao

[@americafuckyea2789]

Dude yea that was really sweet, I wish a human would say something like that to me.

[@smolpp585]

@@americafuckyea2789 I’m full of ordinary-sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything

[@JacobSiegalKingOfSeagaliaBlack]

Own A Hole Cause That’s What Heroes Do

[@Barnaclebeard]

cried

[@canceroushit5933]

absolutely love how Harrison slaps dexter when Charlie pissed him off

[@petlahk4119]

*Analyzes a poorly written story written by an unfeeling AI*: Projection. He was projecting.

[@zoeplayz8674]

Cancerous Hit! Probably because he was too much of a gentleman to slap a girl.

[@loowai236]

@Exquisite Lightening cat fight!

[@Baboonmomma]

@Exquisite Lightening hes goddam sexist to men

[@sofiakgabriel]

1000th like lol

[@DarkOmegaMK2]

The AI is ballsy enough to not even sequel bait, no cliffhanger, no unresolved plot threads. Everything was said and done!

[@TheRealBellatrixLestrange]

If you really think a crazy dystopian like this hasn't left too much unresolved, you're crazy lol. (Jk, great point)

[@DarkOmegaMK2]

@@TheRealBellatrixLestrange You're right, I'M CRAZY!!!

[@sneakysquid62]

The AI didn't care about milking a franchise

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

Oscar material!

[@iantaggart3064]

You mean other than the three of them being stranded on another planet?

[@Kim-iq1ge]

"You will need a girl of great surprises to join you!" Every hero needs his girl of great surprises.

[@abyssflight3907]

You better be careful her giggles will mike your kidneys explode!

[@pault9544]

"I'm full of ordinary-sounding words, but when I say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything" A strangely emotional and deep statement coming from AI.

[@SyntaxSynapse]

honestly, im legit saving that.

[@Grain979]

What must the A.l. be telling us

[@tilkilit]

Ai is flirting with us

[@itrashcant7947]

Lowkey romantic lol

[@jamesmckean3221]

The worst thing about this being randomly generated is that there is no chance of a sequel.

[@CartoonyPirate]

:(

[@richardjohnson8796]

I was looking forward to the sequel 😞

[@elliottgale6488]

I mean he could plug in this story into the AI like he did with Harry Potter.

[@rukiyebelkisakgun3576]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@thefatcat1366]

Yes but if you just only put in that story it then you will get a fan fic

[@Lin_The_Cat_]

Looking back on this video 5 years later, it's actually INSANE how far AI language models have come.

[@droofinsmirts]

it really feels like the AI was trying his best

[@nataliepowers8002]

The AI did its best to do a good job, but before long, it ran out of sanity.

[@revimfadli4666]

It was filled with ordinary-sounding words, but at least we're here to hear them

[@pushyslayer4561]

and that maybe it hates humans and humanity

[@micahdysart6325]

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THE AI'S GENDER!!

[@revimfadli4666]

@@micahdysart6325 given how many of those people on the internet, I wonder if AIs will mimic & internalize their norms & etiquette Then again, the other side's crazy extremes seem to be just as prevalent

[@SamanthaPortUkulele]

"The spaceship did its best to do a good job" is a sentence I think _only_ could have been written by an AI trying its best to do a good job.

[@flavioptferreira]

AI bias right there!

[@kporter85db]

Or a Chinese person trying to write English instructions.

[@thegalaxykat]

or Douglas Adams

[@jmgariepy]

I connected with the spaceship right there.

[@vlaicud]

It's very wholesome :)

[@EyeGanGrowl]

Harrison: *has a flashback* Yaxley: "Im bout to end this man's whole career"

[@mirokyo2193]

dnE eM your name is a mood

[@lmanproductions8680]

dnE eM that sudden slap made me burst out laughing

[@peyuko5960]

*A great sadness filled his nostrils*

[@dylanchope8992]

The time we went to eat together just one year before

[@Princess-zu3jz]

It's very polite from all the kids, to wait for Harrison finishing his 20 minutes of thinking.

[@babyboiii_me]

Harrison thought desperately for about 20 min and then finally finished thinking desperately. I felt that.

[@johnjaeger2968]

He was definitely black

[@johnmobley9369]

Tf

[@antonman1234]

1000th like omg

[@retineyzer1670]

And when he met Kars

[@VampireFlutist]

This is exactly what happens when we take a test we forgot to study for

[@cheesyanton]

Still can’t stop thinking of the time they went to eat together just one year before

[@saltedcaramelsalt]

Yeah, the time they went to eat together just one year before was a pretty special moment

[@romyortizromero4904]

@@saltedcaramelsalt The time the they went to eat together one year before brought me so many sadness smiles.

[@lunaponta594]

do you still remember the time they went to eat together just one year before? it's been long, but the time they went to eat just one year before was really important.

[@owenbrowne9288]

Yeah I can’t stop thinking about the time they went to eat together just one year before too. Lol this string of comments is legendary

[@voxstrago7217]

I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing!

[@dreamafterthoughts]

"incredible might be a stretch, Charlie cautioned In response, Harrison SLAPPED DEXTER FIERCELY and looked directly at her" lmao he needs to chill

[@midlowreborn]

poor dexter

[@smol5545]

Dexter was left out and abused and yet he was still clapping at the end

[@stlowcl]

WHY CAN‘T YOU BE MORE POSITIVE?!?!?

[@paulpidgeon5858]

- People might hear you, and take it seriously! - He will be SERIOUSLY coming along for the ride, the it will be THE PEOPLE , who feel NOT ASKED. This is so fking golden LMAO

[@baenbo3486]

"I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing" *D O N ' T I N T E R R U P T*

[@ty21000]

XD

[@ThatGenericPyro]

*Want him to slap you again, boy?*

[@HenryBits124]

Nothing gets between Harrison and cheeks

[@crooked7592]

"I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing!" "d o n t i n t e r r u p t"

[@a.person1805]

They did my man Dexter dirty bro

[@Aaronleoxy]

Poor dexter

[@bibleboy1147]

I think Harrison had it in for Dexter, look at what happens at 9:38

[@gay.mer9328]

10:22

[@harishkumargujudhur8200]

AI rights, maybe. Dunno where they fetched that.

[@v_khai]

Charlie, turning to Dexter: "I think I have made a few mistakes today." Dexter, nodding: "That makes two of us." I'm crying

[@LukeLaczynski]

V'Khai 400th like

[@thatoneguy9582]

V'Khai mood

[@qazxsw21000]

“The stars of heaven twinkled with a wave of cold fury as the ship went along its merry way” is such a raw line though. Imagine it being used in the context of lets say a crew lost in the vastness of space

[@berinbukow3576]

“Harrison looked around and a great sadness filled his nostrils”

[@mirandapanda5439]

I cant stop laughing lmaoo

[@TelieaSellers]

OMG😂😂😂

[@kool7320]

Timestamp?

[@berinbukow3576]

@@kool7320 4:45

[@kool7320]

@@berinbukow3576 thanks lol

[@thebestyoda]

"A great sadness filled his nostrils" 🤣🤣🤣

[@ricardobejeraste3569]

RIIIGHT?

[@micahsanders7073]

that feel when the cocaine runs out

[@metroidmania8833]

🤣😂🤣

[@fatass4985]

A great smell filled his asshole.

[@user-mz6zn1od9h]

Hagrid really turned the tables when he appeared in this story...

[@hazptmedia]

righto

[@universal8264]

Yes

[@Lustindasauce]

No he turned the tables when he turned around and allowed yaxly volunteer

[@Oebax]

lol

[@onajaestewart2494]

Hagrid just appeared as I was reading this........ I chortled

[@chris__wheels]

coming back to this video 5 years after first watching it is like me watching a kid from the 1960s talk about the computer

[@kodyoats8418]

Dexter: This journey will be the death of me *He whispered affectionately*

[@xenajen2236]

mood

[@inspiringwhisper133]

Dexter was just trying to show Death the wonders of *ASMR~*

[@maeg.9123]

I can’t with this movie

[@David-kt9jz]

they never got back...

[@queeniemarigold]

Why did I just get the strongest hit of deja vu

[@calmack0295]

Dexter: I feel like this conversation will be a very excitable thing Harrison: *DON'T INTERRUPT*

[@TheFloatingSheep]

*slaps random person*

[@teresaellis7062]

"This journey will be the death of me," he whispered affectionately.

[@theduckyninja1086]

Literally came across this comment at that part

[@jolkert_]

"The spaceship did its best to do a good job"

[@LastNameEaster]

He wasn't lying...at least he's optimistic about it!

[@dynawesome]

2meirl4meirl

[@mahraba874]

Death is -inevitable- affectionate.

[@yang_er]

"This journey will be the death of me" he whispered affectionately has the same energy as "Did you put your name in the goblet of fire, Harry" Dumbledore said calmly

[@runninginsept]

"... and met Dexter Longbottom, who was having a nervous conversation with his cold sweat." This is so relatable.

[@yuufeternal5837]

A lot of words for "talking out loud, to himself".

[@rowanheart8122]

Dexter *Longbottom* *Hagrid* the table *Charlie*

[@sinfulmourning2780]

Same.

[@thelegendarychosenone430]

Yeaaa hhhahahahha ikr same!

[@yourworstallergy6573]

@@rowanheart8122 yeah, you can tell that the AI read harry potter

[@mapleflakes47]

Ah yes, giggling does tend to cause exploding kidneys. Real issue.

[@springsgarden]

HAHAHAHAHA

[@jipzip2968]

HAHAHAHA OH FU-

[@dreadlist1711]

i was 1000th like!

[@druid_zephyrus]

whispers affectionately* This giggle will be the death of me. *Slaps Dexter*

[@khwezay]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😭

[@AMSinc301]

People on Facebook: "One day AI will take over the planet and enslave humanity, we should not be experimenting with this technology. AI: " *_Hagrid the Table got the attention of the whole school_* "

[@shizutenshi4912]

Tbf if we had a talking table in any school it will get everyone's attention

[@cort1640]

Hum AI plays dumb .......

[@michaelsheehan7316]

It almost seems like propaganda from the AI to convince us to let us send us into the universe lmao but also not funny at all...

[@sofiaaa3120]

Those people are the same people who think there’s trackers in vaccines 😭💀

[@ashtonsmith1730]

@@sofiaaa3120 yeah, who needs trackers in vaccines when you are sharing your opinion on a phone. That can be tracked way easier xD

[@onlytwogenders420]

I watched this when it first came out, and told a coworker about it. To this day we still quote this story. Pure gold here.

[@sophiedufresne7459]

"I think I have made a few mistakes today" "That makes two of us" Omg I feel doubly represented in this story

[@littledoodler1269]

Too much panic! Not enough disco *IM IN THIS PHOTO AND I DONT LIKE IT*

[@spacecowx3116]

Well, it had a conflict, main character, supporting character, climax, flashback, and resolution.

[@christinabutterfield1801]

@Markus Delop You're telling me that a human wrote with this ridiculous sentence structure?

[@Jack-jw6xb]

Brandon Butterfield it was almost certainly written by a human, intentionally sounding awkward, to sound like it was written by AI

[@icantstopsparkling7450]

Have any of you tried using Botnik? I have, and it would definitely sound like this. The reason it sounds coherent is because of the wealth of words he gave the machine.

[@ThoughtProvokingVlogs]

@@icantstopsparkling7450 Isn't Botnik still a predictive keyboard program tho?

[@gaiusjuliuscaesar9296]

More than Captain Marvel can say

[@jessaboutte2437]

"im full of ordinary sounding words, but when i say them, and you are there to hear them, all is well with everything" damn thats kinda good

[@woodencoyote4372]

it's almost poetic

[@n.m.dimmick194]

Almost.

[@kaiwright8698]

@@n.m.dimmick194 DON'T INTERRUPT!

[@ChristopherKou]

Yeah, that's actually kind of profound. Hehe.

[@popxv1521]

*slaps dexter*

[@JillLulamoon]

I like how the AI took the names from things vaguely related to Star Wars and Harry Potter. Harrison- Harrison Ford Dexter Longbottom- I dunno where it got Dexter, but Neville Longbottom Hagrid-Hagrid Yaxely- Yaxely is a Death Eater in HP Charlie- Charlie Weasely is Ron's brother I think Charlie wears Spartan armor because Charlie in the books works in Romania. Romania-Rome And I think the AI got confused and thought Roman Legionaries were Spartans.

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

The Spartan armor could also be using Spartan as an adjective meaning sparse or devoid of ornamentation or simple. So she could have just been wearing armor of any kind that was just very plain looking.......or MASTER CHIEF!

[@terraneansatellite]

“A great sadness filled his nostrils” Me when I’m sick

[@ikimono7382]

👃😢

[@dieselguitar1440]

Don't some people get runny noses when they cry? I think the AI is smarter than we assumed.

[@ShayerSUtsho]

@@dieselguitar1440 That A.I. is creating new literary expressions lol

[@st4rry3y3d]

sick right now can confirm

[@Raeyanetta]

Me r i g h t now

[@eminkapetanovic]

Dexter Longbottom is the most relatable fictional character ever written

[@zira__8260]

Emin Kapetanović yes he is a lot like Neville lol! And Hagrid The table even said the most famous words, but with asternot, not wizard XD Hai and stay safe from the corona virus! 😇 Edit: 6 LiKeS?! tHaNkS eVeRyOnE!!

[@CoronaVirus-kd9gv]

YES

[@randoschannel3801]

There are more characters more relatable than him, but normally all of them are dead.

[@rhys5430]

DO NOT INTERRUPT

[@macavalli2619]

Let's get it to 666 likes

[@leonidis171]

*Charlie says something* *Harrison replies by slapping Dexter* This is epic

[@TheFloatingSheep]

I disliked someone else's comment after reading this.

[@stancherprisim6326]

Me

[@donhaco4867]

TheFloatingSheep LMFAO