This Was Not The Plan

Here’s the truth about my life right now…Thank you to Storyblocks for sponsoring this video △ storyblocks.co...
It’s kind of weird putting your life out there on the internet, but it also feels strange pretending like things are fine when they aren’t…
In this video I open up about what’s really been going the past couple of months, and some of the struggles I’ve been running into out here on the road. I also might maybe definitely have found a place I’d love to call home someday… hope you like this one ♡
01:00 putting your life on the internet is weird
02:56 we broke up
04:20 leaving utah for oregon
05:54 trusting the madness
06:53 learning to be alone again
08:44 my electrical system melted
09:08 chipmunks in my engine
10:45 i’m stressed out
12:13 would this kind of life make me happier?
13:25 realizations and dirt roads
15:05 it’s beautiful here
17:08 here’s the truth
Links to ALL my favorite photography, road life & camping essentials 🛒 I get a small kickback when you purchase using these links, thanks for your support :) christianschaf...
Come say hi over on Instagram ♡ / christianschaffer
Business Inquiries: info(at)christianschaffer.art
Website: christianschaf...
Twitter: / christianschafr
Facebook: / christianschaffer.art
Spotify Playlist: spoti.fi/3TNHVoX
Hey :) I’m Christian Schaffer, and I’ve lived on the road full-time since May 2018. This journey began in 2013 when I left the corporate world to build my career as an outdoor adventure & travel photographer. As a semi-minimalist, I eventually decided to donate/sell most of my belongings and move into my 4x4 Nissan Xterra. After 14 months of SUV living and falling madly in love with the open road - I bought a van and hired a team to build it out. Van life enables me to experience and document the beauty of our natural world on a whole new level, all while having my home and office nearby. My hope is that by sharing my own personal highs and lows along this (sometimes) wild journey, you might be inspired to hit the road or spend more time outdoors. Maybe one day I'll see you out on that open road 🚐
*My van is a 2019 Ram ProMaster 1500 High Roof, 136" WB with 41K miles*
#offgrid #solofemaletravel #vanlife #Storyblocks

[@jameszak7582]

I started watching your videos for the "Van Life" content. Now I watch them for your incredible artistic vision and story telling. Keep it up, you are an amazing person!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

I appreciate you 🥲

[@GunsNRoses87AXL]

Exactly... Those views are incredible and the messages behind them emotional.

[@gabrielleszafir]

Yes!

[@vloogle4924]

Aspects you can carry into content beyond van life, I might add.

[@lingonpaw3292]

The same for me...

[@nickshields1011]

Been divorced, twice. Never gets any easier. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. People who never grieve never love. Keep up the great work.

[@MamasGotKids]

I’m coming up on being 3 years divorced after 20 years together. The first year, I really did nothing but grieve and heal and figure out who I was by myself. It turns out I actually really like who I am separate from that relationship. In the first few months everything seemed to happen at once (I fell and hurt my back, slipped on ice and ended up with a concussion (separate incidents 😐) and then the pandemic started. It literally felt like the world imploded all at once. But you find a way to keep going, you take time for yourself, you reflect on what you want going forward. You heal. I did. So will you ❤️

[@rickchollett]

When I divorced after almost 30 years I needed to learn to be by myself. So I went to Europe and ended up staying for three months. 30 days in Croatia were amazing! Then a month on my way to walk the Way of Saint James. The walk took another 30 days but was so enlightening. I've learned to be comfortable with myself and I'm perfectly fine not being in a relationship. Sometimes I'll miss it but not the drama and misery of the past one. We all heal in our own way! I prefer to travel and get out in nature!

[@JSBowling2011]

@@rickchollett How were you able to go to Europe For three months? Do you not own a home or maybe you live in an apartment and it’s easy to take off or do you not have a job? Just curious how someone can just take off like that and if you have responsibilities at home how do you deal with that?

[@rickchollett]

@@JSBowling2011 I retired at 52. Rented out the house and had paid off everything else. I've got a plan to go again. But I need to head to Asia as well.

[@JSBowling2011]

@@rickchollett Sounds like you had a good life To enable you to do what you're doing now

[@rickchollett]

@@JSBowling2011 27 years in the military gave me a decent pension! And a few aches and pains to go with it!

[@rikindermahal32]

Wishing you the best in your recovery Christian! It's definitely a slow and mysterious process. You go into a "black hole" for months but when the dust settles, you come out a completely different and changed person. Just keep taking it one day at a time! And if it's any consolation... and I think I speak for many fans of this channel... but the last few "episodes" have been some of the most moving and beautiful content I've seen on KZbin. Thanks for doing what you do and letting us along for the ride!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you 🥹🙏🏻

[@Biztalkcontrolcenter]

well said man! nailed it. Christian, I live in Austin, if you need a ride from the airport, just let me know.

[@carolinehughes738]

Could not agree more! Keep up the Fantastic work Christian! Your videography/photography is beautiful, powerful and SO inspirational.

[@Blah-Blah-Blah143]

What you said about being in a black hole and then coming out a completely different and changed person really resonated with me. I too have been through some truly dark times in my life and sometimes I emerge with a newly filtered view of the world, sometimes it's a good filter, sometimes not, but I think this is the actual meaning of our own individual life paths. How we grow, learn adapt and change brings more meaning to our lives and therein also lies our depth of character and how our experiences can also hopefully help others, thereby enriching not just only ourselves but those we meet as well. Happy traveling everyone.

[@citizenY]

@@ChristianSchaffer have you tried catching a rainbow in the middle of the Rainbow Meadow?

[@stevef4575]

Very courageous for you to share. This was very humanizing. Here's to trying to feel better!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you Steve 🥲🙏🏻

[@wincharles1195]

@@ChristianSchaffer I agree

[@_braune_]

Fantastic storytelling and cinematography as always! I'm in my late 20s and can relate to the feeling that life has been chaotic and messy lately. I have a very cheesey "keep on truckin" magnet on my fridge, and I think it carries a valuable message. No matter how poorly my day goes, I try to sleep it off and rise with a clear head and a clean slate every morning. Good luck on your journey!

[@laurendefrank7380]

Thank you for sharing such a difficult time in your life. It is a good reminder that life is not always rainbows and sunshine. There are many chapters and each one comes with a lesson. I love your content. Looking forward to seeing more in the future. All the best!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you Lauren 🤍

[@zickiea172]

My families 300+ year old home in the Blue Mountains at 4,000 ft in Jamaica burned to the ground taking with it all of the echoes of these memories that popped in your mind whenever we were there and we were devastated. There was no electricity, and the water came from a spring on the property -- one can see the milky way at night - all that was left were these two chimneys. One day my sister took a picture of the place where the house used to be, and what I saw was all of this amazing green foliage, and the mountains in the background -- my whole point for that story is -- time will allow one to see the beauty that still exists in our lives once we are ready to see it. Your channel and your videography and pictures help me personally to see and appreciate those things around me every day and I hope you continue to see those things and share when you are ready.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

I’m so sorry that happened to you and your family 😢 but also what a beautiful way to look at loss. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻

[@iowa_don]

I think you are truly a modern day philosopher. Thank you for taking us along on your van life journey.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Thanks for watching 🥲🙏🏻

[@sportshighlightsheaven4693]

So true

[@systemdersiebenwelten]

"Little by little, you learn to trust the madness and let it guide you someplace new." Love it! it is not easy, when things are uncertain. I'm kind of in the same spot. Thanks for sharing that!

[@snenhlanhlankutha1340]

We love you Christian. You’re an inspiration.

[@MsBerries25]

"Learn to trust the madness and let it guide you to someplace new." Profound!! 🙏🏾💯

[@pilgrim985]

I’m at a loss for words after watching your video today. I love your introspection and depth that you have. I’m sure you already know this but your videos are gold to some of us because we not only subscribe to your channel but we relate so well with you. Thank You for being the beautiful artist and person that you are! Take care!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you so much for watching 🥲🙏🏻

[@roadsweride_pt]

Don't give up girl!! As I told you before, your videos are inspirational, therapeutic and unique! KZbin is full of wanna be's “vanlifers”, “backpackers”, “advguys” and all that stuff… but only few if any have the quality of your videos, created with feelings, with good editing, with good framing, with good music selection … with truth!! So like I said, don't give up even if, some days, you don't feel creative! All the best Chris Kisses from Portugal 🇵🇹

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Thanks Chris 🥲

[@JackieBrown111]

Your last couple of videos have brought tears to my eyes every single time. Thank you for letting me live vicariously through you on the road.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you for watching 🥲🙏🏻

[@moonmilkman5157]

Being human is a maddening miracle of motion and stillness. Learning growing being . Remember we’re built for this. Love.

[@freetobetee440]

You’ve got this! Keep creating and find yourself…

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🤍

[@jillybean0988]

You’re videos are absolutely addictive my amazing Christian. I DO NOT follow any other vlogs because they’re honestly quite boring and feel vain and empty. Your vlog is so real and inspiring. Keep doing what you’re doing. Whether it’s in your van life or another. You’re truly gifted and have a light that needs to continue to shine for yourself first and everyone it touches second.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥹 thank you Jillian

[@camplifedk]

Christian, tears are in my eyes . Lying here in the rain close to Trondheim Norway, long way from home, you made me both feel happy but also sad. Happy because of my van life freedom, but sad because I feel with you in your loss of relationship. Better times will come and soon the sun will shine on you again. Totally love the way you tell your story. You are a big inspiration.

[@DS-nw4eq]

Waa?

[@jessika5091]

you aren't alone here in this strange country. I'm in Oslo and can be here to help you with questions about Norway. Otherwise, just know... someone here is thinking of you

[@DemolitionNews1]

Came for the visuals but stayed for the almost poetic and heartfelt narration.

[@REGRETLYSS1]

The way you tell your story, makes me feel like you're telling mine. Thank you for making us viewers feel seen through your art Christian. ♥

[@montyfinch5695]

Hi Lyss! Funny, I was thinking how yalls 2 stories are similar and here you are! Make more good memories!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

I’ve often felt exactly the same way watching your videos. Pure poetry ❤️

[@cocochanel9291]

Post traumatic GROWTH is a thing. Having gone thru a similar experience the pain is real, the hurt is real, and the good times when they come (and they will) are very real. Thanks for sharing your life and journey.

[@thinkplanetearth2946]

I was sorry to hear that you've been having some challenging times recently. And dealing with a breakup, even if it's the right course to take, is still a difficult proposition. The sense of loss and loneliness that sets in can be very painful and makes you question yourself. But I have no doubt that you will come out stronger for it as you have proven yourself to be incredibly capable, independent, and resilient. Sending positive energy your way.

[@michellemarleau3035]

Always a stunning video! Thanks for being so raw! ♥️

[@trailersandtea]

The strange irony of our society is that sometimes it is easier to share with those who may not necessarily know us personally. Honest, emotional vulnerability is a beautiful thing and takes a lot of courage to express. Thank you for sharing :)

[@davidadamsmusic]

As someone who really likes being alone in the wilderness, yet find myself wanting to share the experience with others- I’m left to accept the paradox of the human condition. I can only imagine the highs and lows that you experience with van life given how long you are on the road. I also find creating (videos for you- music for me) is one of the best activities to explore how I am feeling. Sometimes I don’t have words- but words aren’t always necessary and the art reveals something in me. I suppose all we can do is stay curious, keep creating, and enjoy the journey. Cheers.

[@stevegould9803]

Christian you have a beautiful smile, you can tell that it comes from your heart!

[@WillsWhereabouts]

Thank you for your incredible ability to share your thoughts and emotions in the most beautiful way possible. ✨

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Thanks Will 🥲

[@sacphilip]

Very often I get carried away by the story and get lost in the plot like a movie and then snap back to realise this is someone's reality... Your story telling is commendable. Well done!

[@ilianamarisolromero7816]

I'm waiting to move into my apartment this Friday, but for a few days I contemplated on going on the road. I too seem to get bored when I adult for too long, I work as an interpreter, so I talk and hear people talk a lot. This makes me run to my solitude every day and weekends become the highlight of my life when I just wonder in the forest contemplating. Seeing your videos touches me in ways only I understand, I am hypersensitive, and when I feel the beauty in nature, human beings and animals it brings me to tears. I heard somewhere that we are all storytellers, some people like yourself seem to want to be free to explore ways of communicating outside the box. I'm sure lots of people will want to have your pictures and videos on the websites, pages in magazines for other people to see and enjoy.

[@ricksantiago4422]

I have done a lot of soul searching lately. I’ve just come to the conclusion that I always do after each life events, that this was my choice. My life, the events, the experience, it’s all my choice. The outcome and events are all designed to make me who I am suppose to be. It’s hard to fully understand that when life greets these conditions, but I always walk away thinking I love my experiences and I love my life. I’ve chosen it so experience every emotion and lesson with compassion and live in the moment. Transition is the eternal motion. Everything in you and around you is constantly in a state of transition. So I grab onto every moment knowing it’s just a small window in time and it too will be gone. You’re doing well, you’re in tune with your creative nature and that will guide you through your experiences. You see that there is beauty in transition and life is beautiful. Your experiences are beautiful in every aspect. Take your time with the transitions in life. Listen to you, because this is who you are, life is all around you calling.

[@tjpighin]

Your videos calm me and listening to your narration is also very calming. Time cures all as I'm sure you know. I keep telling myself the hard times will pass and hopefully good times will follow. I know this is last years video but thank you. Keep your chin up

[@pedalpusher2008]

Your videos are like flicking through a national geographic photo competition, but the images are moving and there's a story and soul to follow. From the beginning to the end I completely captivated - it's wonderful and very inspiring.

[@MarkHarrison4]

Your vulnerability mixed with impeccable audio & visuals wow 👏 👏 👏 . All the feels

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥲🙏🏻

[@jeremytorgersen]

Learning the art of letting go is indeed a beautiful and healing process, and it's dynamic nature never ends. The chipmunks must be evolving! Thank you for sharing your journey, may you be well!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

They’re becoming quite crafty indeed 😅🐿

[@jeremytorgersen]

@@ChristianSchaffer I think it is a systemic issue everywhere with them haha, at least here in Utah. Much like how many rattlesnakes are losing their rattles, which is concerning.

[@fourpressmedia2674]

Praying for you, as one season ends and another begins for you. I'm looking forward to watching your new adventure play out and the excitement that comes with it. I love how you leverage your talents and storytelling ability in these short stories. Thanks for being real.

[@storychasing]

Beautiful Christian. I love how you speak so beautifully from your heart, share exactly what you want to share in a way that we fully understand and can resonate with, and do so with breathtaking imagery that sets the mood of the your video and message. Hopefully soon we can camp together instead of just talking about it. Of course it would also help if I stayed put longer than 2 seconds in one state. lol Love ya girl!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Aw thank you Amber 🥹❤️ I can’t wait to reunite with you and Lily again, sending you love and a big hug

[@johnstuart9843]

Blown away by your work, work ethic and ability to share your life.

[@carllyth8455]

One step, one hour, one day at a time. As you said “trust the madness”.

[@ChiaroScuroHealing]

Your vulnerability is your strength. All the feels in this one. I cried, got cold chills, and smiled. As a mom, who lost herself in the caring of others, I feel this. As a woman, who was kicked out by husband midquarantine, I feel this. Lastly, as a human being who is coming out of a multiple year perfect storm, I feel this. It is in the midst of complete darkness though, that we can truly appreciate the light and sometimes it can be the reminder we need of just how truly strong we are. Much love and light to you as you catch your stride again. Beautiful content as always💞

[@ChristianSchaffer]

❤️❤️❤️

[@dianeschmiane]

Hugs, Christian, you'll get through this. Thanks for another stunningly beautiful video filled with inspiration!

[@GoodThingsEtc]

The old saying holds true dear Christian Schaffer, that life is a journey. I have learned its not where life leads you, but it is in the choices you learn to live with and you learn to love and care for yourself first! Its taken me a life time to get where I am today, and know that you are so much further along in life then i ever was or wish to be. Learning to love and care for yourself first is so crucial in life. All the rest will fall in to place, when the time is right! Keep up the great story telling!!!! You have a natural gift.

[@rockercover]

‘Trust the madness’ - I instantly thought after reading / hearing that: Tolerating grief. (How much and how long can one person withstand all the life things encountered - (without having someone to share in some part of the day to day activities - like dealing with animals chewing on “Wire Loom Split Tubing - Auto Wire Conduit”, located under your van hood). Be nice to have all lifestyle types co-exist at the same time. Happier days ahead wished. Like these deeper thought videos. Enough superficial media on the net, it is *faking-it* overloaded.

[@DustinEllison]

Loving how these videos continue to feel more and more authentic. It's really hard to be vulnerable in front of the camera and put it out there, but you do it in such a beautifully creative way.

[@socialstew]

If I was a van lifer, one of the things I would do is search the web for different seminars, conventions, tradeshows, etc. covering topics that interested me. Then I'd scan the exhibitor and sponsor lists in search of potential sponsors for my social media posts. And if I set up a meeting with one, they might even offer to leave a ticket/badge for me at will call! And afterwards, I'd tour the show floor in search of interesting goods and services -- and people! And maybe even photograph and film different booths and vendors for my social media posts. What the heck? Because the absolute worst that can happen is I learned something new. AND met someone new! 😉

[@dis-springs]

I like this idea better than attending meetups and rallies... because I prefer it when the socializing is optional instead of mandatory.

[@barryread3672]

I think at times we are our own worst enemies at times. As an introvert we will tend to further isolate ourselves in order to avoid facing our pain. You mentioned therapy in another video. I hope that you are still doing that. It's good to let some of that pain out to a professional that can give you some additional tools to deal with loss... I can't leave this video without mentioning how extraordinarily fantastic your videos are! So inspirational and beautiful. Your voice is very calming and the music perfectly complements the scenery. Never forget that your gift(s) to your followers is probably helping many who are struggling with some issue. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. We are here and care about you!

[@anniekim9961]

Sending so much love and light your way, Christian. The grace in which you always share your truth is so inspiring. Looking forward to all the beautiful adventures you have to come! 💛💛💛

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Thank you Annie 🥲🤍

[@matsumikoyamashi8095]

Dear Christian, I just wanted to say that, every time I watch your vlog, tears are falling from my eyes and it is hard for me to stop them. Not because I'm sad watching they way you live and the way you are, but because the way you live and the way you are resonates with me... so deeply. I'm same age as you, probably in many ways. Although my life looks much different. It's okay, I came here to be the mother and it is an amazing path though sometimes filled with struggles. I dream about the day when I will be able to take the path you took. Though it seems so out of reach right now.. Thank you for being here. Much love from UE.

[@GaryNichols50]

Regardless of whether it is a happy one or a sad one, I love how you tell a story. Thank you, Christian.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you Gary 🙏🏻

[@rezlivley]

Thanks for being so honest about your life and feelings. Breakups are always a transformational event that take time to process. I just saw a friend who had a recent breakup. I told her that all things have duration. She told me a day later that that is just what she need to hear instead of I'm sorry like a lot of people say. Keep on keeping on Christian and keep creating which is the best medicine at such times.

[@karlaschloemp545]

I appreciate your courage to share real emotions, struggles and successes, Christian. You continue to inspire me with your ability to seek, stop, and reflect! Of course, love your art as well! Thank you.

[@paullewis7102]

Hi Christian. Am an ex-teardrop camper and now potential future Vanlifer, which is why I subscribed for info and insight (thank you for all that's come before, by the way), but I've never felt the urge to comment. Though your videography, editing, and storytelling is markedly better than the others I follow, this latest post was on another level. The other comments here are proof of that. So, just wanted to add that, as a fellow artist/creative, someone who both needs others, to share, and needs to be apart from others, and not to share, often for extended periods of time, I get it. The pain, and the pleasure. It was just really good - and affirming - to hear someone of your quality say it. Thank you.

[@nomadicphotosophy]

Amazing video!! I love the editing and the music! I'm learning from you :) Everything happen for a reason...remember that! 💚

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥲🙏🏻

[@rebeccacoyle5438]

I love transparency. Thanks for the bravery you show. I appreciate the dialogue you share, the cinematography, and the way you process. I have lived alone for almost 5 years in a smallish old (1850) house. If I were younger and had the means to do so, I would be out there. I love to travel and crave solitude. Thank you for sharing your journeys.

[@1958wstewart]

Brilliant authentic story telling and cinematography as always. Hold fast to your creativity!

[@joeblow1942]

Breakups can be so devastating and doubly so for a friends-first kind of human.. I’m so sorry. As usual, your content is so beautiful. Thank you.

[@ameinavan]

Beautiful video Christian…❤️I’ve never had chipmunks in my engine tho😭😂 like whattt!? Also, I completely get the difficulty of routine, being in one place would make life so much less scattered, but after constant travel, life might seem too similar every day and become difficult in a different way :/ it’s tricky.

[@MikeB-gf6dj]

@Matthew Rivers-Davis Haha, You're not wrong. 😀

[@ChristianSchaffer]

Thank you Ame 🥲 and yeah, you’re absolutely right about potentially just trading one difficulty for another - there are still so many things to love (and that I would definitely miss) about the open road ❤️

[@jenniferreneecrust8180]

the way you see the beauty in so many things. I absolutely love your videos!! I could never look at flowers or even out your van door and make it look like that. You have an amazing gift!!

[@jenniferreneecrust8180]

thanks for sharing yoi story. I'm sure it wasn't easy. keep your head up. you can get through this.

[@EnlightenMewithJoePena]

That was beautiful, Christian. I'm glad you're still creating and sharing videos. Also... those Fn chipmunks and squirrels! 😆

[@ChristianSchaffer]

they were relentless 😅

[@feed_defend_evolve]

Of all the van life content out there... this is the only one that feels like the real and raw convos I have with my closest friends. Thank you 🙏🏽🙏🏽😊

[@derkedoo]

I always enjoy your videos, Christian. I feel for you during your lonely times on the road but they are temporary and those dark times pass. You have a loyal following and create amazing content, what you are doing is the envy of many including myself. I dream of living life on the road either in a van or caravan but for now I have family health commitments to tend to. The day will come when you meet that special someone and settle down, house, kids and dogs/cats. But remember you can still have van life adventures as you grow older. As a subscriber, fan and admirer, keep up the fantastic work, be safe and know that I and many others appreciate you. Sending love and light from Australia, Derek 💖

[@judithmartin1970]

Thank you for sharing with us-strangers yet friends. You are a blessing.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@out2launch]

I lived in Bend, had family there. Central Oregon is truly spectacular. You have a wonderful photographic/composition eye and I say that coming from world famous scenic photographer partents that made their reputation mostly on the Western Landscapes. Love your narration, clearly from the heart. Safe travels, you have become my favorite live vicariously through adventure ride. - I have debated hitting the road myself for some years. Your journey alone now is insightful, touching, and a process, so hopefully you come throught this with your beautiful spirit recharged.

[@annelewisphoto]

Love your honesty and transparency ❤️

[@shaneboddy7789]

Christian , first I would like to say Im sorry for hearing you have had a rough few months . I understand how difficult that can be . Second , I'm thankful that you are able to share your stories and be so vulnerable with us , its shows your true personality and I love it ! Your creativity with making these videos is remarkable along with your editing skills and song choices . I would love to talk more with you on that .

[@davidhaynes9234]

Thanks for sharing the difficult times... I love the Bend area. Want to get back there now that you/ve shared. Sometimes I WANT to be alone for extended period, but when it's forced on you, it can be difficult. Safe and happy travels to ya!

[@katyp5914]

Oh, sweet girl... Sharing your vulnerability takes amazing courage!🕊💖 Safe travels and Godspeed to you.🙋🏽‍♀️

[@slarti42uk]

I'm so sorry for your sadness, but this has to be one of the most stunningly beautiful videos I think I've seen of yours. The colours and compositions are sublime. Thanks so much for sharing.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥲🙏🏻

[@sharaswitala6296]

It’s an opportunity to love even deeper. Thank you for your honesty

[@ChristianSchaffer]

I like that. Thank you 🥲

[@lovethemagic]

Vulnerability is really important on this journey of life. Some get there sooner than others. We are stronger than we know. Safe travels out there ❤️

[@capntimber7982]

I learned a long time ago that your never truly alone even when your trying to be and that one statement has many meanings. There is always someone who has been where you are and sometimes there are chipmunks. Sometimes your just meant to cross paths for mutual influence and sometimes there are 🐿 s. I won’t touch on the spiritual meanings here but would be happy to talk to anybody who wants to hear them. I have the life I want but it’s nice to see things and places I haven’t been yet through the eyes of others occasionally. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you brighter days.

[@jessicawinstone8331]

One of your best! I personally get alot out of your videos when you take that authentic journey down thru the layers. Grief..thank you for sharing yours as a reminder our timing may be different but we all relate to the mirroring of life's most difficult moments as much as the most beautiful moments. I have been facing alot of my fears lately and the overarching solution seems to be getting my team together, both professional and social as support network. Then when I walk through the fears as opposed to not going there at all...or speeding up..i come out the other side. Even tho there are those awkwardly wobbly moments in the process..the other side of the comfort zone has taken me to the next level.

[@grande8888]

Christian, if it's important for you to share, please don't stop anytime soon. I'm sitting here in a only moderately comfortable chair, glued to my seat because I don't want to break the spell. Such a gift, showing us you, again, inspiring and allowing us to feel ourselves with you. VLjg

[@timothywozniak6952]

The authenticity and honesty of your videos is refreshing and admirable. Your cinematography is amazing. Thank you for your candid insights.

[@thespurtrail8644]

I remembered the chipmunks, as I was having mice at the same time! Luckily they decided to jump off the windshield while I was on a windy road...the nest left behind was something to behold. When it rains, it really can pour and you were in the thick of it. So glad to see your approach and you on possibly the other side? You are such a powerful force, an inspiration for my aspirational road trip life and all of us that tune in. I look forward to all the future adventures that come, the highs and lows, to learn from it all. You put the feelings of the road so eloquently, the things we experience but can't quite put a finger on. Keep on keepin' on, see you out there.

[@wellwell_well]

Your videos and words are beautiful. Letting go and seeing where life guides us is a lesson of a lifetime for me, gripping to something long expired to avoid being totally alone.

[@nikiahu4740]

Hi Christian, So sorry to hear you & Nathaniel broke up 😕. I haven’t been on here since I last posted back in March & April this year. I hope your ok? You have done so well coming through a dark & tough time. I can relate 😯 Your honesty is so refreshing! Here’s a virtual hug 🤗 & hope you are feeling better 😊 God Bless

[@gracekelly2810]

So wonderful to see your beautiful smile again! Your heart seems very happy at the end. Oh, the journeys we take. Blessings

[@hammockinparadise]

Take care of yourself. 🙏🏻 Your beautiful spirit comes through in the honesty of what you’ve shared. I’m wishing you healing and comfort. ❤️‍🩹

[@owensuptosomething]

The sunlight of life brings us warmth and the darkness reminds us to appreciate and yearn for joy and happiness gained from the light as we grow through pain or sorrow. This is the human experience we all share and recognizing the commonality of it brings us comfort as we hear someone else say it out loud.

[@JohnMunns]

The emotions that comes through in your videos are what makes your work so compelling. Going through a dry creative spell myself (photography and video) for the same reason. Learning to be alone again is good for your soul… to heal and draw closer to God. I have been in Bend since mid July, it is a nice area, especially if you like the outdoors, hiking etc. etc. Love your work. Keep going.

[@rascalman7]

Beautiful little film, shooting, editing, storytelling. Compelling work, congrats and keep going. Very good things are coming your way.

[@kristinmiller4264]

I'm so jealous of the girls time you got with Mariah and Anna. I would love a campfire and discussing books, life, adventures, and being introspective with you three. Here to support all of your videos and I can't wait to see what your future brings. Sending good vibes.

[@brown55061]

I just did my first van trip, in a partial build just to get me out there to explore this world. Lots of miles, lots of smiles and amazing photo ops. There's something very liberating about being solo in a small space and knowing self reliance is in full force. Your videography skills are truly an art, I subscribe just for the art because your work is so polished. Hope you figure out your path and enjoy the time you've been blessed with.

[@dw1168]

Second below, I love your heart and realness. The use of out of focus/depth of field in so many shots...whoa...powerful to reinforce the feeling. I get it :( Thanks for sharing.

[@robhunton2181]

you are NOT alone, you never are. regardless how much you feel like it. im so glad youre on the way back to normal though. take it one step at a time and youll get there. i was in that black hole for such a long time, and it was literally one thing after another that would knock me back off track, but i got there. and if i can do it, you can too! love your content. its so inspiring and feels so much more real than a lot of things on youtube. keep up the ace work!!! x

[@bighaasfly]

You have a talent for letting things be still. Only the second video I watched but I feel a kinship of spirit. Great editing skills as well! I've really enjoyed it. I told my daughter tonight, people will admire you for your strengths but they will identify with you and bond with you because of your shortcomings and weaknesses. It's okay to let them bond. It's okay to be vulnerable. Sure there are risks, but there is true power in being transparent. Safe travels my friend.

[@ProtoMarcus]

I have so many things to say but I'll try to make it short; There is a dream-like element to your video, it is hard to describe. While things are definitely real, I feel the way you capture life adds this nearly surreal feeling, which is beautiful. Speaking of beautiful, I *_love_* your colour palette. I don't have INSTAGRAM anymore but when I did, I loved looking at your pictures - they look like paintings, not just in the composition, but in the colours, very palette-like - soft blues and soft pearl pinks _(Cyan and Magenta are amongst my favourite colour combos, so Blues and Pinks are reminiscent of that!)_ It takes a lot of courage to share such personal and intimate details - it is like storytelling, but the story of a genuine life, I find it inspiring that you have this capacity to share your story. I've also very recently experienced a ''terminal fracture'' in my relationship of 4 years and it is very... tough and challenging. Your video helps me going through that painful chapter of my life, I'd like to thank you for that. Your storytelling feels like a fairy tale yet it is based on actual experiences, it is wonderful

[@Cre8sumthing]

Poignant. Beautifully made. I've been walking through the shadow a little, myself. It has stopped pouring, but grief takes it's own time. Thank you for making this. It helps.

[@eatoner5]

Thank you for your honesty. That’s why I keep coming back to your videos. Pure, authentic expression cannot be overvalued. You helped me through a difficult time a little over a year ago, when I was embarking on two new journeys at once: van life and the end of a decade and a half of romantic partnership. So I hope I can return the favor in some small way and brighten your day a bit. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us, and thank you just for being you.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥹

[@Pomplun55]

Christian, I just love watching your videos because the way you capture nature is absolutely unique and besides that I have deepest empathy for the grief you have over the loss of your relationship with Nathanel. I feel with you. I am just trying to get over an eleven year relationship and it is a challenging process, but you know what? We are strong and sometimes we must let go of someone we love in order to find ourselves. That's what I'm doing right now. You are divine Christian and going through this rough time will make you stronger. Best wishes from Germany.

[@markb5441]

Love the photography and videos. Hang in there, you are never alone!

[@fernandoleite3915]

It is always darkest before the dawn. Yet, this internal journey of accepting the changes we need to make always lead to a more happy, balanced and confident life. Brave of you to follow this path. I wish you all the best in this process. And even so you may say you are in the darkest of your times, you can not imagine how much you are enlightening the life of others. This is the beauty of life. We are never really alone and love connects us all. I thank you very much for sharing your experiences with so much sincerity.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

thank you Fernando 🥲

[@deanpagani6772]

Christian - I hope you are feeling better. This was one of the best videos I've ever seen on your channel. Setting aside the highly personal nature for a moment; the writing, photography, editing and overall presentation were outstanding. I like the use of depth of field. Of course - the personal story also made it poignant. I think you found the right balance between the personal and art.

[@thump694]

Deeply enjoy the amazing scenery, and observing you expound on your emotional growth through your creativity! I too have this extremely similar inner need.

[@karencaseyfitzjerrell6119]

Thanks a million. I had looked long and hard at the 144 WB. Your van seems bigger. Keep blazing that trail for the rest of us. And POSTING on KZbin 🤗

[@byrongillory5787]

Your very smart and very brave . I have found growth comes in the difficult times, but we are better on the other side. Feel your feelings . Best of luck in your search.

[@bluedonutautomotive475]

Love this! I started watching one of your videos as a friend is getting into van life and I shared your '10 tips for getting started' but now I'm hooked. The quality of your content is amazing and the insight into van life but also your own journey is so... I dont even have the words! Inspiring, emotional, honest, funny. Thank you!

[@ChristianSchaffer]

🥲🙏🏻

[@JayFriedrichs]

Your sound design throughout your videos are so freaking goooood I love it

[@ChristianSchaffer]

wow thank you! 🙏🏻 always learning

[@boss420247]

I have been watching youtube for years now and this is the first comment I have ever left. I'm a very introverted person so this may also be the last comment I make but I really felt the need to talk to for a minute. This was an AMAZING video and made me break into tears for a while, which was a release I was in desperate need of. I'll be turning 41 in a few days but its only been in the last couple years I have been able to really access my emotions. My circumstances are pretty different from yours besides vanlife (which I'm almost ready to get on the road) but all the emotions you conveyed here really resonated with me as I am also in a really dark time in my life. I just really wanted to thank you for sharing this, it was what I needed at the time I needed it!! I don't expect a response to this comment but I just felt a huge connection that I needed to share. Thank you soooo very much from the bottom of my heart and I wish you nothing but the best and safe travels!!! PS just remember there is no light without darkness, no happiness without sadness, its all about balance.

[@ChristianSchaffer]

sending you a big hug 🥲