Tim Vine on Total Football

[@kidsmoked]

Whenever I see Tim I just smile the entire video. He's the kinda guy. 💖

[@jeffdavies358]

THE funniest guy EVER!!!!

[@MarkAtherton]

“They’re literally a stones throw from where I was born... In fact, the first words that I said were “who threw that?’” 🤣🤣🤣

[@Isleofskye]

Good attempt Mark but, probably, better if you enter every word in the punchline like " the first words that I USED were " who threw that"..... ps: Only joshing with you Mate... pps: I have no idea why I phrased the previous line as I did as I am a Londoner who has never been within 8,000 miles of Oz.....:)

[@DjNikGnashers]

That was actually a recycled Roy Chubby Brown joke from the 1980's. Chubby Brown's joke was "We used to live a stones throw from the sea, you could tell that 'cause all the fucking windows were broken" .....

[@law1364]

SUTTON TIL I DIE! Tim Vine is an absolute legend, had the pleasure of interviewing him at the game - a brilliant 4-0 win for the Us

[@rolthesole]

Johnnie Lowery

[@TS50ER]

I'm surprised Tim didn't tell his classic footy joke: Can you tell me your availability to run a football team in Sheffield? I can't manage Wednesday.

[@jpa_fasty3997]

So I was running up the wing....

[@andrewlavey6992]

Wiped the floor with them! He just mopped everything up;-))

[@cbierman17]

"It's very hard to move your mouth and make the sound come out later" hahaha

[@ImNewAndHere2Stay]

Basically, 3 guys doing a soccer show, knowing nothing about it, job saved by Tim Vine

[@airmackeeee6792]

Lehmo cheated. He had cue cards. All of Tim's jokes were from memory.

[@olympicadam]

I think they took the award off him for that.

[@markshaggy7914]

I was astonished to hear he had the record as I’ve never found him slightly amusing. That’s just like stealing jokes for a routine - shit effort.

[@Isleofskye]

I assume you are referring to this Bounder=Lehmo and not the noble Sir Timothy Vine...

[@bryantotten7315]

bring humour back into football

[@stefanzine]

Sutton United non-league represent!

[@jeffdavies358]

The funniest guy EVER!!!

[@Isleofskye]

As in his joke...."I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.”....:)

[@enkaan1676]

I bet you guys can’t think of another word for puncture .......no pressure guys.

[@kevinmottram9491]

That was a bit of a letdown.

[@mattparnall4148]

that joke really fell flat

[@slobodanreka1088]

Sutton Utd - fine 4-0 victory over Carlisle on Saturday. :)

[@mezykin]

is santo wearing a cardiff city shirt there?

[@braydos24]

5:36 Akinfenwa the beast

[@atomicmrpelly]

It was him! Who did he play for before Wimbledon?

[@janderson2709]

atomicmrpelly gillingham & Northampton recently

[@timbo7762]

he is defo not "FAT Forward"

[@TOCKSOCK]

What's the song at about 2:17?

[@NasePybus]

Darude - Sandstorm

[@GazCT]

Chase & Status feat Liam Bailey - Blind Faith

[@TOCKSOCK]

thanks mate :)

[@markshaggy7914]

You know when you get those chills of embarrassment for someone? well sam pangs attempt at an accent was deplorable... & he had the gall to rib the moonman about his perfect scouse accent on another episode.

[@karlsmith8212]

Babooned off, after a random Giraffe 😂

[@24magiccarrot]

In fairness for the record of number of jokes told in an hour, there is no requirement that the jokes actually need to be funny.

[@BigDave15]

He tells enough that if you don't like a particular joke you don't have to wait long for a different one.

[@airmackeeee6792]

24magiccarrot Well thats got Lehmo covered!! 😉😂😉

[@thesurgeon6473]

24magiccarrot Yeah there is, they had to get what they classed as "genuine laughs"

[@paparoachluver4eva]

There had to a laugh. Tim said there's a few of his that didn't count in another interview I think

[@MrDaiseymay]

I DID NOT KNOW THAT

[@rustysteele9901]

Where's the misses... Lmfao..

[@dannywlm63]

I've already given it a like but it is football and not the gay rugby you lot play i hope

[@Barra32]

wow these guys dont know anything about football

[@bradleybaum9000]

Is he EVER GOING TO ACTUALLY BE FUNNY?!?!?!?! So far up until 2019 he fails every time he tells one of his awful jokes!

[@Daftasabat1]

The idiot above posted that message

[@Isleofskye]

You AGAIN ! IKNEW there could not be TWO people who disliked Tim....

[@bradleybaum9000]

Isleofskye there are many many more than just me!

[@Isleofskye]

@@bradleybaum9000 True. There's one bloke in Bristol another in Mablethorpe and, apparently, 2 Women in Chipping Sodbury so you are right :)

[@bradleybaum9000]

Isleofskye I said many many more which would be millions more on top of the ones you said!