The Bonfire - Which Superheroes Could Save The Titanic

Jacob spends his time thinking about which superheroes could save the Titanic from sinking. Instead of that sweet, sweet... (4-19-18)

[@cannf]

If ghost rider drives the ship, he could make the entire titanic into a giant flame-Skelton ship, I don’t know if it would float but it would look way cooler while it sinks

[@RandyNachoManSandwich]

😂

[@puff417]

Definitely looks alot cooler😂

[@recentevil]

"What dries as it gets wetter?" Shut up Riddler. We're sinking here!

[@ListenToBigFace]

AY AHM SINKIN’ HERE!

[@PizzaJesus]

A towel?

[@thestrokes4789]

Women I talk to?

[@tobydunn7240]

If it's 1912 wolverine doesn't have an ademantium coated skeleton yet so he could swim to shore

[@ListenToBigFace]

Awwwww shit

[@arvesto]

Nerd!

[@iTzDeyo]

(Pushes glasses up his nose)

[@connorlehnert2994]

He would still freeze and drown, no?

[@puff417]

@@connorlehnert2994no hugh jackman used to prepare for wolverine by taken cold showers. He’ll be ok lol

[@MrTwon1610]

Dan....BINGO!! I love when Jacob gets to shine!

[@xcaluhbration]

Wolverine would survive, he would just get stuck in a drowning loop until James Cameron finds him.

[@MrAdamloring1985]

Cyclops couldn’t do it because his blast is only concusive, it doesn’t have any heat. It’s not a laser.

[@MrAdamloring1985]

sooperheep that’s true

[@dikembebrown9464]

Could he though? That ice Berg is pretty strong and his blast has no heat.... I think it would just chip it

[@MasterChefNinjaForce]

Dikembe Brown Cyclops has blasted mountains down. I think he could take down an ice burg

[@thepeoplesaffronttojudea5280]

You should all cut off your genitals ..

[@MasterChefNinjaForce]

Bobby Bass as long as I get to feed it to you

[@AnneHathawayRules]

6:34 imagine scolding someone for not being an adult about which superheroes could save the Titanic 😂😂

[@chucktesta5186]

Doctor strange uses his eye of agamoto to reverse time. Or just any reality warper/ omega level mutant could easily just think the ship to safety

[@murderc27]

What if Feldog had been on the TITanic?

[@edmundherrera6450]

Feldog would have performed what’s up with the youth as the titanic sank with the band 😂

[@EscapeArtist027]

He would of threw the other Corey under it.

[@gordonhill764]

He was on the Titanic. He's a shape shifter!

[@jm339]

ha ha ha! WHAT Titanic.

[@thestrokes4789]

He'd take the lifeboat by himself and his 12 suitcases of bedazzled clothing, while the angels are forced to stay onboard with the house band.

[@marcusnelson7026]

They did have a small window of time that they knew they were going to hit the iceberg before contact right? That narrow time frame could allow some of the super heroes to prevent the collision.

[@williampoole1742]

I believe Jacob said that the scenario happens after the collision happens, otherwise yea that would be a big difference, Punisher could just whip out a bazooka and shoot the iceberg

[@sca8217]

Keep Frank Castle aboard. He'll make sure no one dies from drowning in freezing waters.

[@ShinRyojin]

Hold on, a flaw with Jacob’s argument with Wolverine. If they’re going by the year 1912, Wolverine didn’t have his adamantium during that time so he won’t drown.

[@oneskinnyhonky]

Yup, Wolverine can swim but the adamantium makes him sink so they need pre-Weapon X Logan.

[@davfugivxx]

Burn!!!! Got em

[@savagesword6393]

I've been told that when I was a kid, I would call my G.I. Joes "little guys," as in: "wanna play little guys with me?"

[@deadgrandma9407]

Airwolf could NOT save the Titanic

[@gsped9201]

its a big metal boat. magneto. solved.

[@vanessacruz3009]

^this

[@Alex92Ps]

Well knowing Magneto he would probably float 50ft above the wreck and laugh maniacly as he pushes the homo sapiens filled Titanic further into the ocean

[@collegerebel]

@@Alex92Ps Like they pointed out, if it were full of jews, maybe he would. But it was 1912, so I'm guessing no. What was the social status of jews back then?

[@vincenttrejo9706]

Well youve got my vote for President in 2024

[@scoobymcboobie2907]

@@collegerebel NOT GOOD

[@doomdoomerson6524]

Ghost Rider can touch the ship and turn it into a "GHOST SHIP?" and it'll go fast as hell ta boot

[@jordondavis3392]

DooM DooMerson thought about the same thing

[@joro8006]

Nicolas Cage?

[@da1king0fwakanda56]

The Flash could just run everybody to The Californian (it was only a few miles away from Titanic).

[@Hallucinato444]

Didnt the hulk keep two halves of a planet together by holding them. Jacob knows nothing about comics

[@devon8977]

Remember different authors bucko

[@tobe1207]

Superman could lift it, spiderman could plug it up with webs, magneto could steer, human torch or ice guy could melt or move the ice berg. What tf could aqua man really do? How bout Hawkeye, he could've looked and been like "hey there's an iceberg over there,maybe steer away?"

[@cmsmith1031]

Jacob thinks the fish would just decide not to save the humans? That would destroy the oldest stereotype about Aquaman, that all he does is control(talk to) fish. Not to mention that he is strong enough to just let the bottom balance on his back and swim it to shore. They also say Wonder Woman can't but I'll give them that cause she can't fly in most mediums outside comics.

[@collegerebel]

She can fly in Justice League/JLU. That's pretty mainstream IMO.

[@jonnyhollywood514]

Nightcrawler usually hasta be able to see where he's transporting....not a chance he lives

[@AnneHathawayRules]

So he teleports on the horizon over and over again until he gets to land

[@brettbarton1911]

Wiki says wolverine is 325 lbs, but his super strength and stamina allows him to swim.

[@lllorez]

Nightcrawler can only teleport to a place he can see for the most part

[@AnneHathawayRules]

So he teleports over and over again until he gets to land

[@retsofsivartnetloc9012]

Super man has heat vision. Cyclops has optic force blasts. He wouldn't save shit. He'd just punch more holes in the ship

[@stepheng887]

Kinda reminds me of intern David :(

[@xcaluhbration]

Stephen G right?

[@russellkgettys24]

No way.

[@boosh90]

Only he's unironically entertaining

[@John_Notmylastname]

Jacob is a god damn treasure.

[@mitchtiz]

Iceman becomes an omega level Mutant when he is around that much ice and/or water, Infact he usually does when around less. So he would absolutely be even more powered up plus Big Jay's super bowl speech would fire him up even more kid. And Reed Richards {also invented the suit made of unstable molecules which protect him from heat cold everything under the sun just about that's how it doesnt burn up on johnny storm} would prevent it from happening or wouldn't be on the damn ship hence batman etc, etc, Bruce is a detective and would see the signs of the icebergs and yes he would have a contingency plan for even this and hit a button problem fixed. But Robin and Batgirl are fucked. Man i feel dumb for taking this as serious as i have sorry.

[@allenvaldez2747]

Mitch Tiz this is the kind of commentary i was looking for

[@kingdedede933]

8:55 I'm sorry Dan...but the Juggernaut doesn't need to breath

[@johnnieriot13]

Yeah he does. The fantastic four has beaten him like that.

[@lukesears4889]

This one is golden

[@sixburgh64ss]

Why do I feel like Jacob has a basement full of young women being held against their will dressed in superhero costumes and being forced to fight one another to the death? He doesn't touch them sexually but does brush all of their hair and also make them spoon him occasionally.

[@jrreogreugerugregreger7486]

Is he giving tours of this erotic super hero battleground? Because I'm interested.

[@ghostoftheblueteletubby7790]

What if some Hero's team up? The Hulk could have thrown people from the deck of the ship all the way to land & spider man could make a giant web to catch them all as they reached land after reentering the atmosphere🤷‍♂️😅

[@undeniablyfunk5497]

Magneto wasn’t born when the titanic sailed

[@gordonhill764]

Cyclops optic blast is not heat based. Its like getting punched by a dumptruck at 100 miles an hour. Hed do more damage.

[@williampoole1742]

12:23 that laugh lol

[@rgaud8]

They're not thinking laterally. The hulk could jump on that ice burg and smash it to pieces. No need to tow the boat.

[@ChiTownOriginator]

Being a comic book nerd, this is hilarious how uneducated Jacob is about this topic and how well versed Jay is

[@blixx8931]

So if they are talking about saving the ship I'm assuming after the ship hits the iceberg. So that rules out a lot of people / superheroes. Magneto could do it easily

[@nickdesroches89]

Dr Strange!

[@BryceChillis]

cyclops' beam isn't hot, it's a concussion beam

[@Ironclad17]

Juggernaut can't actually drown.

[@TheKitchenerLeslie]

Sounds stupid, but this is actually fascinating!

[@guesswho2360]

Give The Flash a shot glass and let him be a one man Bucket Brigade. Everyone else is upstairs partying and none the wiser.

[@da1king0fwakanda56]

Magneto would’ve saved the ship in 1912, pre-Holocaust. Dr. Strange could just open a portal & teleport everyone. Thor COULD use the Bifrost to teleport the entire ship elsewhere. Spider-Man might’ve been able to cover up all the holes with his webs.

[@nolanduarte]

Spider man has spider senses, and parker being a nerd has to know where the steering wheel is and could over power his way to turn away from the iceburg

[@MSUParker]

Juggernaut doesn't need air, water, or food when power by the gem of Cyttrak. Geez Dan you dork

[@cwhit2575]

Them saying storm could freeze a large circle of the ocean surrounding the ship. How cold would it have to be to do that? Every human would die so fast

[@ShaneKelley207]

Jacob is forgetting about Spider-Man’s spider senses

[@scoobymcboobie2907]

Yea he could spider die with the rest of em

[@anxioussamurai9017]

Cyborg would save the ship by creating Boom Tubes, thereby transporting all the passengers to dry land.

[@rhydianbanner3590]

batman carries freeze grenades which he nicked from Dr.Freeze. A couple of them in the right place would stop the boat filling with too much water. Shit, he could just use his modern communication devices and call for help from that ship that was nearby. Give Flash a bucket and he could bail out the ship

[@spunkybrewster1972]

Thing would bend the fucking hull back into place. Done. Hulk would pull the ship by the anchor over and up onto the iceberg. They can all chill until the Lusitania arrives.

[@hpwonders123456789]

Somebody tell Jacob that Spider-Man made a net boat in an episode of one of the cartoons

[@tommyapples8490]

Magneto probably would save them. I mean, there were many wealthy people on board/ bankers/ wink wink!

[@916mw]

Jacob has a bill burr type of laugh

[@Smoof29]

wonder woman can fly so therefore she can fly to the nearest boat to have them radio for help

[@Brad92510]

Why don’t they bring up the superhero’s breaking or melting the iceberg before the crash happened?!

[@KTF0]

1. The Thing survives. Just because he's made of rocks and is heavy that doesn't mean he can't swim. Same thing with Wolverine. That's like saying the Hulk can't swim because he's too heavy. If you have the strength to accompany the weight, it shouldn't hamper swimming skills. Now if the Thing doesn't know how to swim, then he dies easily. 2. Apache Chief, Giant Man, Ant Man saves the Titanic, 100%, even if there's a limit to their size. You can swim and lift/move things at the same time. Just turn giant, swim under and lift or guide the ship the right way. 3. Human Torch - melt iceberg, done. Even before it comes close to the iceberg.

[@TehBigMoose]

Titanic was only 400 miles from land....

[@cal5000]

Why are you forgetting the giant iceberg in these equations?

[@scoobymcboobie2907]

People would die if the flash grabbed them at the speed of light

[@brandonmcmullen6362]

Spider-Man CAN save the Titanic b/c he can not only save people on the ship, he can also web up the hole/tear in the ship from the iceberg. Love Jacob, but didn’t agree w/ majority of his answers

[@brandonmcmullen6362]

I do hate that they got Cyclops’ power wrong since it’s a concussive blast, not a laser, but he still could blow apart the iceberg before they hit it

[@kskull5764]

im late as fuck but the hulk could definitely smash the iceberg to pieces well before the ship collides with it.

[@blixx8931]

Talking about saving the ship..so this means after the iceberg crash..

[@andrewjacksonbr]

Iceman, boom done.

[@blixx8931]

Iceman can't melt ice

[@Ffeoli1039]

@@blixx8931 he freezer the water around the boat.

[@blixx8931]

@@Ffeoli1039 oh yeah. 🙄

[@eclipsewrecker]

The ship would break apart with such a small point of contact with Superman. Great I just out dorked everyone. Lose/lose

[@_Schwartz]

Unless he used his ice breath and froze the water.

[@nolanduarte]

Hownhasnt comedy central not animated this?

[@ourword3112]

The Sentry could save those yachtsmen no problemo. He is Marvel's Superman.

[@zackburton882]

Jacob is flat wrong and is a disappointment to nerds everywhere for arguing that superheroes couldn’t save the titanic or at least the passengers

[@Women_Rock]

Iron man, Super Man, (any super hero that can fly over freezing water faster than 30MPH) to deliver the distress message in person to the Captain of the nearby SS Californian. They sail over to the Titanic and load it’s passengers onto their ship. Boom problem solved.

[@tankhankeress1739]

Jesus that’s logical and brilliant!! Erock take us to break!! ..... comment erock

[@mitchtiz]

Quickest fix any magic user like DR Strange or Dr Fate from dc. They could teleport everyone with one command or spell or it takes a few tries. In all the Xmen universe i feel like any of the omega level or less mutants could save them till help arrives. Plus the Marvel Universe has like ten or more superman level of strength characters. Carol Danvers, kree Captain Marvel/Quasar could use his quantum bands to teleport them away, Gladiator from shiar royal guard, Sentry, Hyperion, basically if the supes could then theres like 20ish if not more that could lift it or pull/tug. And Juggernaut doesn't need to breathe oxygen, eat food, drink water, even can live in the vacuum of space since his cytorak gem gives him a magical like barrier that exists around his body which makes him invulnerable except when they hafta beat him by taking off his helmet ? not sure how that works with his supposedly magic bubble ? and how does he not need to go to the bathroom ? I'm sorry this subject was fun to inspect and flex my nerd muscle i believe there are many many heroes and villains that would get it done.

[@xcaluhbration]

Mitch Tiz Professor X couldn't save them but he could make them go reaaaaaaaal peaceful like 😭

[@jackosnmh]

Dr Strange, sling ring my ass to Miami.

[@UltimateJaburg53]

Aquaman could have a shitload of starfish cover the holes in hull.

[@xcaluhbration]

Jake Burgess OOOOHHHHHH FACTS!!!

[@RJDough1313]

Not from movie but just watch the KZbin of thors hammer could really do in comics and it's insane. He's comparable to Superman with it

[@nednimbus2361]

Jean grey could

[@johnq.3704]

Hulk can definitely save the Titanic, Jacob doesn't know what he's talking about.

[@scoobymcboobie2907]

Be nice to Jacob ok

[@thawkereynolds]

Did they say Pete Maravich as somebody who was too handsome

[@andybroberg7084]

Why would they mention pistol Pete? He is a pretty sexi dude though to be honest especially considering his accolades

[@alx42013]

Hulk could totally save the titanic. Easily. Hulk can walk on the ocean floor . he doesn't need to breath. And like Jay said... Hulk can jump to another state....in one leap. Jacob is wrong on that one.

[@da1king0fwakanda56]

How would that help save the ship tho? 🤔

[@JeffRB]

Actually I Think Ghost Rider could Save the ship because whatever and whenever he takes control of a vehicle im pretty sure that it transforms in to a badass looking thing!!!!!!!

[@mikehink4062]

I didn’t realize I was such a nerd until I listened to this and found myself arguing 😂. Just a couple examples that could save the day: Franklin Richards, Scarlett Witch, Silver Surfer, War Machine, Jean Grey, molecule Man, Cable, the Beyonder, Dr Doom, Darwin, and before I get into cosmic beings I’m going to kill myself.

[@jackrush8752]

Mike Hink I'm calling BS on Cable

[@collegerebel]

What, no DC characters?

[@johnnieriot13]

Is the invisible man a super hero?

[@elaburridodpr8525]

Flash would kill every single person. No human can go at that speed.

[@paulelroy6650]

Doctor strange all day. Send everyone through his magic circles!

[@jdk4063]

Paul Elroy or he can just reverse the time and before the Titanic hits the ice burg, he blasts it and BOOM problem solved

[@MorganFreemansFavoriteFreckle]

Jacob sounds like a lesbian Bill Burr

[@misoguapo2946]

The hulk could just hold the boat and tread water to New York 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@laxlax510]

Tasmian devil could save the ship.

[@Smoof29]

I'm sorry Aquaman can have 3 blue whales hold the boat up what are we even discussing here He could summon a whale for every single person to sit on and carry them to safety

[@tobe1207]

Batman alwags is prepared

[@GUrR4S]

I might be late bit hulk could save titanic, by destroying the iceberg

[@zackburton882]

How’s Jacob put this much thought into this topic without knowing anything about superheroes read a comic book and be less wrong my guy

[@djxeroic1436]

dr. manhatttan

[@BillyNunez2]

30:30 Mr. Fantastic fills up the hole or turns into giant boat. Jacob shut up.

[@michaelbatt9680]

Superheros who could save the titanic: Superman Magneto Hulk Aquaman Iron Man Doctor Strange Storm Cmon Jacob, get a fucking clue, PLENTY of superheroes can make sure the titanic gets to NY.

[@cammoore9882]

What about Rogue??..

[@kylepedersen3402]

Total nerd mistake. CYCLOPS DOESNT SHOOT LASERS. They are optic blasts and don't produce heat. They are a kinetic force. Come at me bro!!

[@MattttG3]

K99

[@cloudcorby420]

Are you telling me we missed the boat on a captain life raft no pun intended. Call me marvel. Let's make history.

[@tankhankeress1739]

Is Godzilla the correct answer??

[@kt89713]

This kid knows nothing about superheroes

[@rostikskobkariov5136]

Aqua man lifts a submarine in the movie pretty easy, sorry Jacob

[@blueberrymcphuckerson9821]

Jacob doesn't know shit about superheros cause a lot of the heros he thinks can't save the boat can. Batman is fucking batman. How can you know about Batman and even think he'd get on a boat while not being prepared for the number one thing everyone worries about (the boat sinking)? Flash, he can quickly find spare metal on the ship and use it to weld the giant gash in real time.

[@tankhankeress1739]

Black panther would save everyone with his recent found wakandan angel powers!!