Abuse: What Does God Say? To the Abused // Mike Novotny // Time of Grace

Despite the alarming statistics, the topic of abuse is rarely touched in the Christian community. What does God say about abuse? What does God think about abuse? What does God say to a church filled with unspoken trauma and deep wounds?
If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, please go to timeofgrace.org/abuse to find more resources and information for getting help.
Make your gift go twice as far with our Challenge Grant. You can also get Pastor Mike's newest book, "How to Heal," that helps deal with abuse: bit.ly/3v6DRms
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[@leslismith303]

Emotional Abuse is So Devistating.

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

It is !

[@DebRoo11]

Yes it is

[@Nursegurl82]

Yes it is😭

[@meliaramdeholl6777]

It's terrible

[@freespirit7450]

My parents did this to me when I was young.

[@bookaddict621]

"Jesus was abused" I never thought of it that way. Thank you for this wonderful message.

[@katyb2793]

He also didnt do anything wrong to end up in that situation. I think the abuser often maintains control by making their victim believe they did something to deserve it. Sometimes society says that too. 'Well what did you do that made them do that? No one is perfect, you must have done something to provoke them'. The manipulation is extremely difficult to navigate and see the situation clearly. I'm very grateful for this pastor's very biblically grounded message :)

[@marmeg1118]

Yes because the father of all lies was very much alive then as he is now. Satan is no joke folks!

[@GC09Summer]

and i have been thinking that its okay for me to "endure" the abuse.

[@TheSailukka]

Thank you! It is high time church addresses this. So many times the abused have been doubly abused and/or silenced by church authority. Well done, God spoke through you 💜😥

[@milanmarie571]

Being an abuser and bullying people into submission is never okay or justified. People will make excuses for being abusive and others seem to side with them and their behavior. It is NEVER okay to be mean, cruel, invasive, and outright disrespectful.

[@lovinggrl]

❤

[@wany1211]

Through experience....I'm sure they know....they just don't give a flying f*@$.

[@annaburns2865]

@@wany1211maybe the problem isn’t that they don’t know, but that we don’t know. Because I do give a f:8:$:B

[@jordantaylor7885]

They make excuses or IGNORE even if it’s their family n never check on the one being abused!!! (My name is Sarah… Jordan is my abuser )

[@Leannot35]

​@jordantaylor7885 try my abusers sent a wheel of this was going to happen to me, and I now believe some were in my family, were fakes, until they got control of my son

[@icsknrn9r]

I have been verbally abused by my pastor/husband for 30 years. He has used scripture to justify ir, so I have continually blamed myself, trying harder and harder to make things right. . God led me to your message to set me free from blame and confusion. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. May God bless you greatly for addressing this.

[@rachelfranks4450]

Prayers for you, my heart goes out to you so much!!! I have suffered from horrible emotional and verbal abuse from someone who claims Christianity as well. You are not alone, and we are also NOT alone because we have Jesus! 🙏

[@mollyg4980]

If he's abusive, he's probably cheating. That sets you free. ❤ be strong

[@Isaac-c5z6o]

Yep, most pastors do that, its there belief they are holy and they know and have a rightouesness

[@em77775]

Have you brought it to the other elders at church so he can be held accountable? A pastor cannot be abusing his wife in any way. That is sin.

[@sarahlaughedcoaching]

​@@em77775most churches will not bring accountability with these issues. They just tell the wives to submit. It's shameful and completely unbiblical. It happened to me...

[@vincentvanpot4333]

Thank you for your message, I was brutally, mercilessly abused and tortured by my father for many, many years. But I met Jesus and He has made me whole! Bless Jesus forever!!

[@susandumbill8805]

Hi Vincent, I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm so glad you have found Jesus, and for His working in you. Thank you for bringing this out into the open. God bless and guide you in life. ❤️

[@leislsmith4293]

Im so sorry to hear this dear Vincent. It certainly leaves us wondering...hurting...My dad is a vevy scary and cold person. As children when my dear Mom had to leave, my brother and I used to shake because of constant physical and mental abuse. An older cousin once suggested that my dad sold his soul. Im not sure how true it is but his employees actually used to call him hitler. I recently realized that he is a narcissist. I no longer speak with him after years of trying to have a normal father/daughter relationship with the man. Trying to reach him always still left me feeling so hopeless belittled unloved hurting and confused. I tried for a long time because I always kept in the back of my head to 'honour thy Mother and Father' but now I know that Christ does not approve of my earth father's behaviour and that it is okay for me to stop trying to be kind or reach out to him because you see, my earth dad never wanted girl children so he never wanted me just tolerated me and even though he did not want me, my dear brother also felt unwanted. After my brother ran away for the second time, he never came back or speaks to my dad. You see, the abuse was so unbearable as a child that I actually forgot about the sexual abuse, which started happening after my brother ran away. For years I only remembered the beatings and being very frightened always. 2 years after my brother left my Mom came in like a rushing wind and RESCUED US from the madness! She took us to her new home in America! Bless her precious heart she is gone now but I remembered that before she left, she promised that she will come back for us and by God Almighty she did, she kept her promise! bless her dearly departed soul. Anyhoo, through it all King Yahshua has been a strong tower in my life and I am so grateful that He loves me as I am actually quite nervous to open up myself to others, so I just keep King Yahshua close. I love Him very much and am convinced that had it not been for The King, I will not have survived my childhood and live to see the beauty of today... I want you to know that I appreciate you and every other hurting heart for sharing your truth with us. Bless your precious hearts. ONE

[@vincentvanpot4333]

Wow, Thank you so very much for your reply. It broke my heart to hear your story, but what a wonderful feeling it gave me because this is my 1st time meeting fellow TBI victims. It's the comradery that is strengthening to me. Because I just found out that I'm NOT alone in this anymore! 🥲😊@@leislsmith4293

[@barbiebeck9531]

Blessings Vincent!! 🙏🕊📖💕💝

[@stephanieblue22]

I want to “like” this 10,000 times.

[@Samantha-dr9vd]

No one preaches this enough, thanks for sharing this. From Essex England

[@Marieleba-s8p]

I finally feel seen after dealing with abuse for several months. It scares me to tell other Christian’s about it because they seem to always justify it or excuse it. I’m finally healing and moving on but I been hesitant to go back to the church. Thank you for seeing us Pastor!

[@Meowmeowmum]

I was with a narcissistic ex for years. The cheating, lying, gaslighting, manipulation was the MOST PAINFUL thing I have ever went through. It nearly, literally, ended my life. I truly know how abuse feels like and I pray no one will experience the pain I went through.

[@zoerose0222]

I went through the same thing it is so confusing especially when they will act like they love you and then completely flip a switch into them not caring for you at all. It’s devastating.

[@barbiebeck9531]

Me too. So sorry for anyone who suffers this.

[@jillforde8215]

It is truly devastating to one’s self and all that you are. But… God can help you out of that pain.

[@dustisiljenberg8339]

Going thru it now

[@StacyFreeland-pc6qe]

Amen

[@cebe2624]

I was abused in my childhood, pray healing love for me and my loved ones. 💖🌺🙏

[@Somebodysomewheresometime]

You’re not alone - I was too and as an adult 🤗

[@BeautifulQueen9112]

Same here😢

[@vaporwingfauxmcloud1190]

It hit me hard when you said "It's not your fault". I blame myself for everything that happened... It hurts that I was treated horribly from 3 years old to even 25. It hurts because I keep being blamed... And even I kept getting blamed. I'm scared all the time and I'm worried about everything...

[@timeofgrace]

Here are some resources on abuse: timeofgrace.org/abuse/ Praying you will find these to be helpful as you heal!

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

Hi, Vaporwing. You are describing " scapegoating", you are being mistreated because you were assigned the role of the scapegoat in your family. And NO, it's not your fault !! It's always parents or other family members who assign a role like this. This happens to children who are usually the result of an unwanted pregnancy. I've seen this, experienced it- until I departed the family,never to return. You do have the option of going no- contact,if this is what you want. Sometimes relatives are willing to go to therapy,and work on changing things. Most dysfunctional families choose not to though, especially the narcissist types. It's odd how most churches will side with abusers over the victims ! If you've been attending a church that keeps you in this victim state, you can leave. We can't hate people, but we don't have to be around them anymore either. Forgiveness and reconciliation are NOT the same thing.

[@SanctifiedLady]

Sorry you suffered, I too suffered. The Bible says forgive those who abuse you. They were ignorant, possessed by demons. Only bad comes from Satan. Sad, my abuser continued some level of abuse in my adulthood up to 30’s. She never knew God. Just carrying on a generational curse, doing what she learned and was aloud to get away with. It still saddens me. Getting therapy

[@annaburns2865]

@@JulieSevelson-nb9nj I agree with most of what you said, but please don’t spread misinformation about unwanted pregnancy. I know that can be the case in some situations such as my oldest nephew. But in my case, my mom said that she always wanted a girl and yet, she still goes along with the misogyny displayed by my brothers, dad and the generations before her. I used to think she was lying about wanting a girl, but now I don’t. I think she just couldn’t overcome the sexism and misogyny of multiple generations. And also, she is so grateful for my middle brother even though at the time she had anxiety because she already had my older brothers and was overwhelmed. In addition, I think my youngest brother was the original scapegoat but when he went no contact, my mom shifted it to me, and now I’m worried that she will shift it to my nieces and nephews, (her grandkids) yet she still hurts me every chance she gets. I have tried to go no contact but many people in the church will encourage me to keep contact with her. 🤷‍♀️ But if she does treat her grandkids as bad as she treats me then she deserves everything the Bible says about abusing young children. In fact, she already does. Because looking back, her abuse of me started in my childhood. I just couldn’t make sense of it at the time. But even pregnancies that parents insist the wanted result in children that are victims of abuse. Sometimes they just want to have a child so they can abuse it.

[@marieball1772]

Please know that you are loved. I hope for a day when there will be a safe place for women like yourself to go in a quiet, restful, peaceful environment, where they can get their thoughts together for a month or so and not have to worry about finances while they gather themselves and decide what they need to do to move into a safe future. I’m still in my situation due to not having a safe place to go in the finances to do so. Stay strong and move forward in God’s leading.

[@northofthefray]

This is the most loving response to the abuse epidemic that I have ever heard. Thank you.

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

There is an epidemic. I feel it’s a reflection of the mental health of the person largely responsible for it -men.

[@marcellofunhouse1234]

love it how theres a reply to your comment but i can't see it :/

[@Joy2theWorld369]

I agree 💗🙏

[@time_2_get_ready]

THANK YOU so much for revealing it's ok to hate violence (and the violent) I have become physically ill by stifling this urge and trying to "love my enemies" to show what a "good Christian" I am, being "like Jesus" In effect, I was lying to myself so no wonder I became ill!

[@Leannot35]

No wonder I've been sick, too, don't keep being kind to them that never deserved that, lying to myself too.bible was used wrongly for control of particular situations, " I'm being punished, or there so called purgatory beliefs, that are sick,and nothing to do with Bible, or God

[@franquely748]

Thank you for bringing up this subject. I am moved by how sincere you are about this. I have been living in a 30 year abusive marriage. He tells me to read my Bible and see that God does not accept divorce. I am so twisted up because I want to leave but he says that he will make the rest of my life a living hell. Please pray for me. I don't know what to do. I have prayed and prayed but I can't seem to get away. It is the most painful thing for someone that you love to treat you so painfully. The pain is unbearable at this point.

[@warren6790]

clearly in your situation you can LEAVE him but you can't divorce him and remarry, if he knows he can't have another wife, your leaving him will make him THINK about how he's treating you, especially if he's still producing testosterone, if that don't work just wait until he cheats on you then you will have your excuse to remarry, I know this is a little underhanded but the truth is you never should have married him in the first place but we reap what we sew, if you have no children with him I can give you another excuse that Jesus would accept, maybe hard for you to accept but it is the truth

[@karenlebron-morales8672]

If you leave he will blame, condemn and threaten you with hell. If you have kids, he will turn your kids against you. He will try to get you kicked out of your church. He may try to befriend your toxic family to gang up against you. You will wonder if God really wants you to be attacked verbally. But in the Bible, it only encourages you to suffer like Christ. Once you have a christian narcissist there is no end of sorrows.

[@ellaelz7850]

Hun as a Christian who was in an abusive relationship that god delivered me from, for four years. Ignore what the women are saying above and LEAVE. Do not wait. make your plans and leave and divorce him. If god hates abuse and abusers why do you think he would hate you for leaving. LEAVE sister in Christ and may the lord bless and keep you. Sisters above your words are not helpful. You give no consideration for what this woman is going through and I feel your comments are not within your rights too give. Why do you judge this lady. Your words almost feel condemning to me. Why are you the judge for what she should do in her life? That is between her and god. Should she stay married to a man who might one day kill her? Have you had to live with a man that makes you scared? Holds knives to his wrist? Have you had to live a man who every time you get in a car risks your life? Think about how your advice affects those who have been through these things. I feel like you shamed this woman with your advice. I feel like you judged her. I felt no love in your comments or consideration for her welfare. It upset me deeply.

[@ellaelz7850]

Divorce in this case is necessary so that they are not allowed any access to you whatsoever

[@jillforde8215]

I agree - she needs to leave. God neither wants nor expects her to live in fear and disrespected like that.

[@jenaya_laila2442]

Someone who.is abusive is choosing to act out the deeds of the enemy. These people aren't Godly/ with God. The bible says numerous times that we are to distance ourselves from these people. Why go along/ protect/befriend the enemy? It is God who we should follow..

[@ritasmith1127]

I have been in a relationship for 26 years , Not married and I have been run through the mill . I am mean right back at him . I have been chest butted by him twice and hurt bad enough that I had to have surgery on my low back ,found cocaine a couple of weeks ago , I have a horse 🐎 and a cat . Limited income . I keep😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏asking God what have I done to deserve this ??? I don’t understand ? I am so broken by this , He has made me the woman that I have turned into now and I can not keep continuing to have to live like this . May God have Mercy on me 🙏🙏🙏

[@hope9672]

My adopted mom physically abused me & my brother my adopted dad didn't believe me & basically told me if I didn't take it back I wouldn't be part of the family... basically abandoning me. Then my separated husband put hands on me multiple xs & I tried to forgive him because the bible says to forgive & he told me to also & he left anyway & started sleeping with another woman. He hasn't even filed for divorce yet. I believe all this happened to make me depend only on God bcuz I wasn't raised in the bible. He's my true family. Being abandoned by 2 families is beyond painful... and my husband... but God's all i need.

[@carlac4160]

I’m so sorry ❤️

[@grgustafson3777]

Being is God’s family is the best. If you can break away from your natural family, you should consider that. You might not have to stay away forever but distance while you are healing is a good thing. Shalom.

[@lydiapetra1211]

🙏🙏🙏❤️

[@nefertiti9109]

This has brought me to tears. I cannot find it in me to feel for myself when I know others are suffering too. I pray for us. I pray we keep seeking the lord and walk the path of righteousness. It is not easy. We have to loose to win.

[@nontoncube8450]

Amen. After being abused by my mother, and experiencing molestation from people I trusted as a child it's such a blessing to know that Jesus gets it. I asked God this question, if he ever thinks of me or if he ever thought of me when my mother was raped and then conceived me. But I believe he was watching and 23 years later he still is. ❤

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

Hi, Notoncube. You don't have to continue to be abused or mistreated by your mother. You can leave and have friends be your family,if you want to. Forgiveness and reconciliation are totally different situations. Many do forgive,but leave and move on with their lives. Hatred is sinful, but leaving isn't.

[@mfrmll3786]

Holy shit!!! You wrote MY STORY!!! WE are CHILDREN OF RAPE, here it IS. OMGOODNESS

[@annaburns2865]

I’m not a child of rape, but I think my mom hates me because I remind her of my cheating father. It’s definitely weird about the victim of our father’s, our mother can now be the one making us the victim.

[@RosesfromAshes]

Thank you for this message. I have saved it to my playlist. After leaving an abusive marriage, I was shocked to hear my abuser's men's group leader quoting scripture to tell me to return and submit. Disappointingly, after I became free, I have had repeated encounters with survivors where they share their fear that God is mad at them for ending an abusive marriage and/or abusers blaspheming the Word to try to perpetuate and justify their abuse. Your message is desperately needed. Thank you.

[@chanteynk7324]

I second your thought.

[@sallyjane8274]

This is me. I felt like God hated me for unanswered prayers for my ex husband. Now I feel like God hates me for leaving him. To get through the pain in the past I had a mantra I would repeat to myself as I cried to try to get through it was "you don't matter" until I became numb enough.

[@MaryJaneGiles]

This is my first time hearing you, pastor. You moved me deeply with this topic. Truly a God inspired sermon. Thank you for your frankness. May God continue to bless you and our church 🙏 We will meet in heaven one day.

[@mday3821]

This just showed up in my feed today & I needed it. I was abused by my mother my whole life...as I was growing up and as her adult live-in caregiver. My mother stop at nothing to hurt me. The sad part is there are millions of us...adult children who at some point figure out that we were brainwashed to accept the abuse by a parent to just find out much later in life (late 40's, 50's and up) that we were abuse & used by someone who should have loved us the most and the worst part is we blame ourselves. Thank you, Pastor Mike. I believe God gave me this today to let me know that I am not to blame and I am loved. I never felt loved my whole life like so many survivors. We are loved. We are enough. We are not alone. We have Jesus who loves us the most. Thank you for speaking about this horrific topic & giving us hope. God bless you.🙏🩷

[@DM-uw3zh]

Deep thought: the victims of abuse, we want so badly to know what kind of justification, what is going to happen to them for all of their wrongdoings, but really, that thinking perpetuates and continues the bonds of abuse. As hard as it can be, lets try to remember that we can safely walk away, let go, and let God. We can give it all to God. We have to trust, and remind ourselves, with all of our being, that God will take care of it, as He sees just, and it is just not our business. Revenge is not ours. And thank God for this. Thank God that we can give it to Him to carry. And that He will! And that He does. Sending anyone struggling, peace and good thoughts and a reminder that God loves you so very, very much ♥

[@michellekirk8609]

The church shames victims who want to divorce and then tempt those who finally gain the courage and wisdom to leave with hope that gets them stuck back in the cycle of abuse. Of course I don’t want to divorce but I have to. Getting shamed or being told God can change one who is unrepentant and unwilling is not godly.

[@emmasmith7590]

Yes, please tell me what happened in your situation?

[@evera_]

Thank you for this message. Very touching. I just (finally) cut ties with my abusive mom and I seek peace and healing in Jesus. Be blessed 😊

[@Alice-mv9pj]

Thank you, I really needed it. My mother was abusive, I'm dealing with cptsd because of that, she always repeated to me to shut up and gaslighted me, because I had to honor my abusers. Twisting the Bible to continue the abuse is very common.

[@lydiapetra1211]

🙏🙏🙏

[@smoothiecutie2277]

🙏

[@leislsmith4293]

...you're so right, my dad used to quote 'spare the rod spoil the child' smh

[@user-hs3yx2tg2w]

Thank you for addressing a private and public health epidemic. Thank you for naming abuse what it is, a sin. Furthermore, thank you for letting the human race know how God feels about abuse.

[@muzalakapihya6097]

Thanks for this message. I tried to get help from my former church, but i was not believed. I was looked at in anger, it hurt so much. I left the church and decided to stop believing in God for 3 days. I was so lonely i cried out to him, the abuse has not stopped but i live in hope and ask God to help me get my finances in order so that i can leave the abuse and be free.

[@JulieSevelson-nb9nj]

Hello, Muzalak. Your church failed both you and God by treating you that way !! They should have rescued you instead. You don't have to stay with this person,you can live seperately. The husband is winning,by acting as he does. He may have seen his father doing the same thing to his mother growing up,but that is NO excuse ! He needs therapy to help him overcome his own abusive childhood. In the meantime, you are free to leave the house and not return. I don't know what the future holds , and am no marriage expert, but one should not live under the same roof with an abuser, be it a spouse,parents,etc. If you can try to join a support group for victims of domestic abuse,you will feel much less alone and scared. Those didn't exist when I was younger. It's so wrong what happened to you !

[@lo-ul8nq]

Thank you Pastor Mike, you are the only Pastor i know that talks about abuse. I been a Christian for over ten years. The Pastors where i live in NewJersey never talked about abuse at all. I went to the Pastors to let them know that i been abused by my parents since they are Narcissists. The Pastors told me to pray about it and deal with it. I been praying for them for years . I left those Christian churches. I finally found a great Christian church and pastor who cares about this people and is supportive.

[@madisenclark-rh4vy]

Been trying to find a video of a sermon regarding abuse for months.. this happened to come on my page. This greatly blessed me thank you.

[@lydiapetra1211]

Thanks for this great and powerful message! May the Lord heal all who are suffering, all who have been abused and all who are abusive 🙏🙏🙏

[@sharonbrown927]

I needed this I have been abused just about all of my life and I am thankful to jesus for all of his love I need your prayers!... Thank you for preaching God's word and for this message ❤💔

[@timeofgrace]

We will certainly be praying, and please also feel free to submit requests directly to our Prayer Team here: timeofgrace.org/pray/. Also please feel free to check out these additional resources on abuse: .timeofgrace.org/abuse/

[@AnjelSpeaks]

What a beautiful message especially coming from a man of God. I don't see this often unfortunately. But i pray and believe it will happen more. 👏💖

[@HSocki101]

Thank you and God bless you for sharing the truth.

[@carolmoger9869]

Very helpful and necessary message. I've never heard a pastor speak on abuse before! Thank you!!

[@Carol-ub3dy]

Thank you for Preaching, please don't ever stop preaching about this. 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@ErinAngel-s8j]

I really enjoyed this Sermon. I agree with every word of it. I have experienced every type of abuse, and I know so many others have as well. Trust me, I know that there are people that have had it much worse, but I do believe mine was pretty bad, and it's still going on. Abusers never change...FACT. BUT, ANOTHER FACT IS, GOD, JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL NEVER STOP LOVING US. As long as I have their love, that is all that matters. Amen to this Service, and thank you for the words that you shared. They meant a lot to me. 😇😇😇

[@katerinatheleritis9658]

Thank you Sir, for acknowledging these people. I wish there were more Pastors like yourself. Truly a blessing to the World

[@barbiebeck9531]

Thank you for speaking about this hell on earth.

[@WalterFRodriguez]

My best friend stayed in an abusive relationship for more than 20 years and, after finally allowing herself to separate from him for the last year, he returned and tried to use God's name to guilt her into going back to it. Sadly, she did it because she loves God with all her heart and all she's ever heard is that the only reason for divorce is adultery. Myself and several others talked to her about it and mentioned much of what you said here but she went back. It's heartbreaking.

[@beatrizescalera1137]

My Lord help her😢

[@lkmmcderm]

Whoa - powerful. And very moving. On behalf of many, thank you Pastor Mike. Amen!

[@wameiah.7642]

I cried listening to this message

[@jenniferharrell77]

Thank you for talking about this and exposing it.

[@AmandaFurlong-c8l]

When we focus on our pain, we lose focus on our purpose. We are called to forgive, repent, pray. LORD HELP US TO KEEP OUR EYES FIXED ON YOU AND YOUR WORD 🙏🏼

[@branver1172]

I did this for years and the pain fee and became debilitating. Would you tell someone with a broken leg, “Forget about your leg. Just keep running and serving.” The more they ran the more excruciating the pain would become.

[@grannywoods12]

The Bible says to cast our care on Him, for He cares for us. The Bible says (even if parents abuse us) when my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up. He gave me that verse one time, when I was young (it jumped out at me), and it was like I felt His arm around me and I heard Him say, "I see what's going on, I understand, and I care". Yes, I am to forgive (and have) and He says to forgive, but there's a lot of verses in the Bible, not just one, and at the time He said that to me, the focus was that He told me He cared. Sometimes, we forget that God cares for our hurts at the same time that we are forgiving those that hurt us.

[@loissemanek1715]

I’m looking at this video today because my pastor is teaching unconditional forgiveness . All what she said leaves the unchanged criminal to continue to victimize more children or domestic violence to continue and escalate. Thanks for the only voice out there for the church that actually wants to love and protect victims.

[@sarahlaughedcoaching]

@loissemanek1715 forgiveness is not the same as trust or reconciliation. We can forgive people, but they still need consequences. Jesus always chose the victims and called out the abusers (Pharisees). Praying you find a good church!!

[@jesus_a_la_puerta]

Thank you so much|. I pray that every single abused brother or sister in Christ finds (along with myself) comfort in our God's Grace and finds specially the Gift of Forgiveness that only He can give us. I love you all brothers and sisters. Thank you Pastor, God bless you by tons!!!!

[@beckystahl1832]

This made me cry. Left my verbally and mentally abused husband 9 months ago. 37yrs of marriage. I opened up to my pastor who abandoned me. My husband is a covert narcissist and is very convincing. He was a monster to me at home

[@timeofgrace]

So sorry to hear that you were in an abusive marriage for so long. We pray you have been able to begin the healing process. For more resources to help, please visit timeofgrace.org/abuse. We hope these will be encouraging to you as you recover and find peace. God's blessings!

[@agnesbajna7071]

Thank you for sharing this 🙏 I felt guilt after putting boundaries against abusive father 😢

[@jameschild1321]

Thank you Pastor, for doing this with grace and humility. God spoke through you and said what desperately needed to be said🙏🏼

[@heavynwilson3554]

JESUS LOVES YOU AND GOD 💕.

[@royaldiadem324]

This was pure and sincere! May God bless the pastor and bless the sheep in this ministry. May deliverance break out and the love of the Father be present! I pray He blesses this church ! In Jesus name! Amen 💓 ~

[@angelanelson895]

👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏 Beautiful message! Thank you for preaching on this painful topic.

[@time_2_get_ready]

What you need to know about LITTLE ONES, is that it not only applies to children per se but ANYONE who is little/insignificant in power, status, influence etc

[@philobailey5627]

I guess we tend to forget how badly Jesus was abused and hated during His ministry and saving sacrifice. Love the hymn and the message.

[@phenomenonto328]

I don’t get the first part of your statement. Are you saying abuse shouldn’t come as a shock for Christians?

[@philobailey5627]

@@phenomenonto328 I noticed I commented a year ago and can't remember the context, but my hope is in Christ. I'm conducting a Bible study today on Psalm 31 especially focusing on verse 15 "My Times are in your Hand". If you know of suffering or doubting, focus on this verse.

[@phenomenonto328]

@@philobailey5627 okay. That’s beautiful! I thought you were making abuse seem okay, as though it’s something we should endure as believers. It doesn’t seem like that’s what you’d say judging from this response 😀

[@laurenbatson5918]

We don't forget that at all. That isn't the same abuse this pastor is preaching about. Jesus wasn't abused in secret, behind closed doors, in a way that fills the victim with excruciating confusion, cognitive dissonance, shame, and guilt. Not only was Jesus abused in the open, the events were witnessed by others. It was documented. The abuse resulted in more people loving Jesus, not less. Jesus didn't feel painfully alone. When victims get the courage to tell someone, that knowledge makes people uncomfortable. And they distance themselves from the victim. Jesus' abuse drew people closer to him. And finally (but I'm sure not completely) Jesus was abused by people that proudly proclaimed that they hated him. He wasn't abused by the 1 that vowed to love and cherish them. Domestic violence abuse is the polar opposite of Jesus' abuse.

[@bmorgan8382]

Far too often when people speak of abuse they're only speaking of physical abuse. There is mental, emotional, physical, sexual, verbal abuse. Abuse comes in many forms that also include substance abuse. My husband was raised in a very strict Christian home. His mother is a minister. My husband honestly believes that there's no such thing as verbal, mental, emotional abuse. His parents were extremely verbally abusive towards each other. His older brother actually told me about the verbal abuse. They fought so much over money. It has carried over to my husband. He's very verbally, emotionally, mentally abusive to me. He abuses alcohol as well. Sometimes when he's drunk he's sexually abusive as well. When I reached out to his family for their help I was shocked at their response. They said " well you have your problems too." Well yeah I sure do because my husband is not a Christian husband or father. All 3 of children want nothing to do with him or his family because of their mentality and behavior. Every Christian should know that there are many forms of abuse and God hates every form of abuse.

[@timeofgrace]

Thank you for sharing your story and for the reminder that all forms of abuse are hated by God. Time of Grace has compiled some additional resources here timeofgrace.org/abuse/ if you are interested in checking them out. Praying some of these may be helpful on your journal toward healing!

[@annetteschilder1235]

Thank you. I've never felt more heard.

[@hogfish2011]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[@alenetan2466]

Very good message

[@StacyFreeland-pc6qe]

Yep god is out there he saved me I thought I was crazy but he told me to leave my husband or the birds did- I am spiritually I used to pray every day n after marriage to a abuser I lost faith but getting it back

[@karenblohm3279]

I have always liked this hymn.

[@FaithfulandTrue949]

....thank you, so much 😢🙏🙌

[@ch3blazinggospel669]

God gives Grace followed by go and sin no more. 🙏

[@adamhustler3639]

My big question for other Christians is, what happens to those who reject Christ because of abuse they experienced while crying out to Jesus for help and protection, but got none? IE. A kid grows up being abused by their pastor or priest, having been ignored when trying to expose it, they grow up to reject Christianity and Christ. Upon their death, does Jesus send them to hell for rejecting Him, or does He show understanding and compassion and bring them to Him?

[@AliciaGuitar]

Spiritual confusion from conflicting doctrines in my childhood church led me to an abusive marriage. I was told God wanted me to marry and have kids even tho i have neurodevelopmental disabilities. It was a recipe for disaster. I wish i had heard a sermon on abuse before i ever met my ex husband 😢 i was a victim of my ignorance. I truly believed i was doing God's will by submitting to abuse.

[@mimimincer525]

This has blessed my soul. Thank you for sharing this!

[@manxology]

Thank you for this message and for the two related videos that followed!

[@GeTLaWsTKIIID]

I’m not in an abusing intimate relationship, it’s my mother my own mom:/

[@chastyhutchison724]

Yes I am living in emotional abuse for years and I went to drugs again after years not doing it.

[@lobby4545]

My father iz abusive to me and my mother but I’ve gotten the majority of it since I was a kid. I’m 24 and sadly still live here with him. I’ve had insults b spewed at me, mocking if I cry, objects thrown at me, zero privacy etc I’ve prayed to God multiple times about the situation I’m begging He releases me from this environment once and for all. I pray that nobody has to go through wut I have.🖤✝️

[@jackiep5009]

I really got EXCELLENT help from The National Domestic Violence Hotline

[@gregoriamercado5222]

Thank you for this message. I needed this today.

[@stylist62]

Thank you Pastor May God bless you and keep you🙏🙏🙏😭🥰🙏😭😭I have gone to 5 or 6 churches asking for help😭🙏a believer my whole life, exausted🙏😭loved gave served everyone, only to 🙏😭I want to know who I am in Christ, I know Bible is in me, but this pain inside. I will not give up, Yes Jesus was abused💔🙏Been thinking this I will feel your prayers , please pray for me. Where is your church?

[@mirnadoherty7767]

Pastor Thank You For This Message 🙏

[@aagapeministeriosibarra4175]

Take a class on those topics. Pastor should be ready to advise and counsel anyone that’s going thru it. Learn about resources, referrals, other ways. Get out of the cave. No excuses. GREAT MESSAGE !

[@lisavalastro3914]

Great message! Thank you❤️

[@ts3858]

I was horrifically bullied as a child and it has ruined my enire adult life....now in my 60's...suicidal for many years...😓

[@timeofgrace]

We are very sorry to hear you were bullied so severely! Please know that there is hope for survivors of abuse, and healing is possible. We have some additional resources on our websitetimeofgrace.org/abuse/ to help you on your journey toward peace. Praying some of these may be encouraging to you!

[@marieball1772]

It is not your fault that you were abused. God loves you and wants you to have a good life. Please find a loving church and get some counseling. A big hug to you. Jesus loves you 💕

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

Anything that men can use to establish superiority over women will help them rationalize abusing women....The Bible is often seen as such. It's amazing to see a Christian man speaking from the Bible about how not to abuse.

[@sarahsault6494]

Thank you. I am glad your sermon came up too. I am currently trying to find my own place. Emotional and financial abuse is what I'm facing from my brother and his fiancee. The financial I have taken control for the most part (until I move I still pay partial rent). I do not want my brother arrested for that:I do not want my neice to grow up not seeing her father for a time.

[@timeofgrace]

Sorry to hear you have been facing emotional and financial abuse. We pray the above sermon was helpful for you, and have a number of other resources, such as this series on escaping abuse (kzbin.info/www/bejne/bIXLcnygntGAbLs), and this "landing page" for other devotions, books, and counseling resources (timeofgrace.org/abuse). God's blessings!

[@davidferreira1977]

Spiritual abuse is REAL also,I know personally, but thank God it's not my fault and he isn't to blame. 😊

[@justice8563]

The things I hate is when abusers say, you deserved it, get over it, move on. Three comments every person who has been abused will hear from the abusers and their enablers. Let’s not forget that enablers are a continuation of the abusers hand and words and deeds. 😞😔

[@smoothiecutie2277]

Right!!!!👍👍

[@allforthegloryofjesuschris6250]

Thank you for the blessing of this message. I have my own KZbin channel, called All for the glory of Jesus Christ. I myself am a survivor of physical and emotional and sexual abuse. Your message was exactly what needed to be heard because the message should always be leading us to the cross of Jesus Christ.. Jesus is the one that saved me not just from the abusive marriages that I was in in relationships and even friendships, but he is the one that saved me from myself, and my own selfish desires that I now am being used to be a vessel of mercy, love, compassion, and forgiveness everywhere I go. My sin was that I thought had to take the abuse.. I thought I was being humble by allowing myself to be so broken physically emotionally and spiritually that I actually thought I was being humble and a servant of Jesus. When we are truly serving Jesus, there is peace about it. I now know that my enabling behavior was not the walk of the cross. I am on a different path now on the path of Jesus Christ. Thank you for this message and for being the first pastor I’ve ever heard to address this difficult issue just as Jesus wanted you to address it. Peace and love to you brother.❤️🦋🙏

[@leislsmith4293]

...thank you kindly for sharing with us. This video was very helpful. My dad is a vevy scary and cold person. As children when my dear Mom had to leave, my brother and I used to shake because of constant physical and mental abuse. An older cousin once suggested that my dad sold his soul. Im not sure how true it is but his employees actually used to call him hitler. I recently realized that he is a narcissist. I no longer speak with him after years of trying to have a normal father/daughter relationship with the man. Trying to reach him always still left me feeling so hopeless belittled unloved hurting and confused. I tried for a long time because I always kept in the back of my head to 'honour thy Mother and Father' but now I know that Christ does not approve of my earth father's behaviour and that it is okay for me to stop trying to be kind or reach out to him because you see, my earth dad never wanted girl children so he never wanted me just tolerated me and even though he did not want me, my dear brother also felt unwanted. After my brother ran away for the second time, he never came back or speaks to my dad. You see, the abuse was so unbearable as a child that I actually forgot about the sexual abuse, which started happening after my brother ran away. For years I only remembered the beatings and being very frightened always. 2 years after my brother left my Mom came in like a rushing wind and RESCUED US from the madness! She took us to her new home in America! Bless her precious heart she is gone now but I remembered that before she left, she promised that she will come back for us and by God Almighty she did, she kept her promise! bless her dearly departed soul. Anyhoo, through it all King Yahshua has been a strong tower in my life and I am so grateful that He loves me as I am actually quite nervous to open up myself to others, so I just keep King Yahshua close. I love Him very much and am convinced that had it not been for The King, I will not have survived my childhood and live to see the beauty of today. I want you to know that I am thankful to all of you for sharing your truth, what a brave thing to do... Bless your precious hearts. ONE

[@claricemccullough3350]

Great Message!!

[@jacquelynsharp9354]

I got ran over in Sept last year, crushed pelvis front and back, crushed hips, 2broke legs, pins in left knee, right knee cracked and piece out middle, torn acl, broke ankles and toes, 8fractured ribs, back broke in3places, left foot on wound vac2months,in hospitals3months,died3times, now good in pain my ex house,hes moved to shed,doesn't bathe,doesn't get trash outta rooms,zero help,im bedridden, wheelchair, hes so abusive i cry out to god daily,this63yr old man has no remorse,forgiveness, care,love,no consequences, no punishment, no repercussions, no correction, i wonder why gods done this to me,alone24 7 in a tiny windowless room, only a fraction of solar power,no pipe in kitchen,no flooring,sheetrock,insulation, all on purpose to hurt me😢😢😢😢please anyone,pray for me,im hurting went under front and back wheels at50mph,im so upset daily😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

[@jacquelynsharp9354]

I'm getting around more but pain is off charts and all my money goes to pain dr no money to move,or places to help won't allow my pain meds,can't smoke,nursing homes filthy,ppl steal,can't do that either,been on fb dating over a year full of predators and men with sick kinks and fetishes 😢

[@AliciaGuitar]

If you can, apply for disability and avoid seeking out another man. Lean on God and He will be your cover. It may seem impossible, but He will provide a way.

[@stylist62]

Thank you🥰🙏the church just teaches you to give live serve❤️🙏🥰judge you🙏🥰they have no idea or interest in women being abused, I will never give any money to a church again, they exploit women who are abused.😭😭🙏Please pray for me 🙏😭🥵since I was little, was raised old fashioned to serve men, my whole life was serving, obeying my brother dad, everyone, didn’t live for me, 21 years celebecy I meet the most selfish abuser marry him, I could find. Trauma been Christian my whole life, been taking lots of classes, focusing on GOD is hard,. Please put me on your prayer request, found a few people a Pastor who made himself available and plugged me in some classes he was leading. Please pray these strongholds off me. Please pray my brother is fair with me, he’s a believer he took from me and my parents his whole life, judged us. I cared for them and his kids for years my own money. Now he wants everything from my parents. Plus haven’t seen my so called husband over 2 months told him don’t come back.come home, he literally had it made. I want healing all that God has for me, this may be generational. Interesting, how the Lord is using a few men to help me heal🙏🙏❤️

[@hey2930]

I have been emotionally and physically abused. I am trying to push past it but, He choked me up off the bed and I keep hearing “F you and that baby.” After I was ok the floor. I’m pregnant. Why do I keep trying to push past my hurt? We are in counseling and my mother moved and HE HAS GOD TO THANK BECAUSE I HAVE FAMILY THAT WILL HURT HIM but we are both saved and he should KNOW BETTER. The abuse began because he felt UNHEARD? But that still doesn’t justify verbal and physical? Not feeling heard in a marriage means okay lets get counseling not Let me choke my pregnant wife? Idk but it happen for four months. We got married in Nov It started on Christmas day, and the LAST TOME was April 9th of this year. So 5 months married 4 months pregnant 4 months of abuse……. Why can’t I just be pregnant in peace!

[@allaboutmoviesallaboutmovi8545]

I grew up in a family that said as long as I provide I can use God to beat and abuse you .😢

[@FirstLast-jm7in]

Blindly ran from abusive childhood to abusive marriage. Idk why I’m still here 🙄

[@swetlanalindsey4153]

I feel your pain.

[@ashfordtia12]

I'm being emotional abused by my husband rn! I came back to him after he said he wasn't being abusive anymore. He assured me he would love me but slowly he's not abusing me physically but he's abusing me emotionally.

[@timeofgrace]

Sorry to hear that you have been suffering from abuse. Here is a link to a devotional series talking about abuse and steps you can take if you find yourself in an abusive relationship: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bIXLcnygntGAbLs. Praying that this might provide some helpful information for you!

[@MeinemLeben]

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

[@thophishabangu2504]

How i wept through this i thought I had healed

[@queeenasia_]

Every single person in my life who were supposed to love and protect me abused me. I have recently left my emotional and mentally abusive husband and I am struggling wondering if I am committing sin because God doesn't permit divorce. Am I supposed to live the rest of my life like that? It's even taking a toll on my health. I'm extremely stressed out and I wake up with my head pounding. Oh and he has also been physically abusive but the mental and emotional abuse has been harder to deal with

[@timeofgrace]

God loves you and does not want abuse for any of His children. For further support, Time of Grace has compiled a list of resources here: timeofgrace.org/abuse/. Praying these will be a source of encouragement and help to you!

[@mitziwebb4381]

I know a woman who abuse her husband verbally so my he turn to self destruct 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔and I don’t think she even realizes it🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭

[@CandaceWilgis]

I've been verbally abused intermittently 4 yrs with adult child

[@theidealfamily7983]

Mmm. Yes Christ understands the pain of the abused, and felt the pain. But. He was not abused. He went to the violence in order to suffer. This is different from a vulnerable person who is being oppressed in some way.

[@tropicalpunch6960]

My ex brutally beat me. I loved him, I was mostly kind to him. It ended and I am still grieving. Then I dated another man who raped me. I don't now why? What is wrong with me? Why? Can someone tell me why?? Everyone scolds me, blames me, puts me down. Tells me I should have known better. I am sick of being condemned. I suffer don't they know that? Will God ever give me a man who treats me with love and respect?

[@StacyFreeland-pc6qe]

I stayed because of marriage n it almost made my life end

[@karenk2409]

Abusing anyone is a grave sin and an abomination. Other people are not "yours" to use and abuse.

[@helenenilsson5031]

Jesus My burden menthal abuse evil arrows go back to sender in Jesus name amen Jesus jag ber om ett kraftigt ekonomiskt mirakel amen No wepons formed against me shall prosper evil arrows go back to sender in Jesus name amen Jesaja 54 17

[@joanimal1]

I am currently going through this right now I feel so weak and pathetic and that for doesn’t hear me I have convinced myself it’s all a punishment since I was only saved a couple of months ago and had premarital sex with this person so I felt god was allowing it as punishment. What’s so upsetting is that this man doesn’t even seem to like me he seems to actually hate me but doesn’t want anyone else to have me .. I feel like I’m in the room with Satan himself sometimes I’ll be thinking a horrible thought and he’ll say it to me right after I thought it .. I feel like I’m not going to make it out because as much as I don’t want to be with him I have terrible it’s and financial issues now because of him and absolutely no friends job and on top of that I escaped this kind of abuse from my parents. Please prayer for me I ask god every night why would u make someone as weak as me and what’s crazy is that the worse this man is to me the more he’s rewarded in the material realm it makes my blood boil. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing this. I remember I usddd to be the strong person who stuck up for others being abused and now I don’t even know who I am anymore. And I fear I’ll never be the same again