Tips for AuDHDers: how to manage your autism & ADHD

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Yo Samdy Sam

Yo Samdy Sam

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 680
@rachelpepper5149
@rachelpepper5149 Жыл бұрын
That made me laugh out loud: “Yes, I do plan my spontaneity!” ADHD and ASD explained in one sentence.
@Dancestar1981
@Dancestar1981 Жыл бұрын
Me too yes on my own terms
@amberhewitt6868
@amberhewitt6868 Жыл бұрын
It needs to be on a tshirt!
@poison_plays
@poison_plays 10 ай бұрын
I came to the comments just to say this might be the most identifiable thing I’ve ever heard 🤣
@zecchinoroni
@zecchinoroni 7 ай бұрын
Sometimes I want to do something spontaneous but then my autism kicks in and goes “No! We already planned to do this other thing!” I hate how inconsistent I am so I try to follow through with my plans and feel bad if I change my mind, which I do…CONSTANTLY.
@kayshawilliams5349
@kayshawilliams5349 29 күн бұрын
Me, too. That's the only way I'll be able to enjoy it! Seriously.
@MrGbkristian
@MrGbkristian Жыл бұрын
I struggle with Time so much. I have realised that if I am in a room or out where there ar eno physical prompts around time, I have no clue how much time has passed. This leads to people noticing I take ages to do things such as going I to the bathroom etc. I seem to rely on remembering how long a certain journey takes, such as it takes twenty minutes to drive to work from my house, but then this does not allow any time for getting ready or anything like traffic or getting fuel etc. So I have always been either last minute or late my whole life for anything.
@jayneburns-milostic3208
@jayneburns-milostic3208 10 ай бұрын
Yes absolutely this ☝🏻
@kayshawilliams5349
@kayshawilliams5349 29 күн бұрын
Same here. I used to be really good at managing (arrive 15 mins early) through highschool, college, post grad, even as a new mom. But I was neurotic about it. Then the perfect storm occurred: my son got diagnosed with ADHD, followed by homeschooling as a result of COVID, him becoming a teenager, and me realizing that I also have ADHD and not just Asperger's. I have to have a watch, alarms on my phone, some type of clock in each room, & Alexa devices that announce reminders at certain times. And I can STILL end up being caught off guard about how much time had passed. 🤦🏽‍♀️
@malizee2264
@malizee2264 5 ай бұрын
The ADHD side wants to move and the autistic side gets exhausted! My life makes sense at last!
@mstewie08
@mstewie08 Жыл бұрын
As a fellow being that has fallen in this range of the spectrum, it's been a relief finding so many people across the world that have had these shared experiences. Suspected for "both" in 2009 diagnosed ADHD then, ASD last year, but lacked the self awareness and knowledge of the conditions other than the stereotypes. So much time lost, autistic burnouts, wasted potential. Truly helps having these communities and stories and discussions shared.
@Sursie_Metzger
@Sursie_Metzger Жыл бұрын
I understand where you’re coming from 100%. I found out I was labeled an HSP with ADHD in 2002-2003 and never knew until a fight with my mom about potentially being autistic recently. After looking into ADHD for the last 2-3 years and connecting a lot of dots, I’ve come to realize that there were many boxes on the spectrum that I ticked quite high on but like other girls diagnosed at that time I was most likely misdiagnosed as people who were labeled HSP went on to be diagnosed with ASD in adulthood. And I’d realized that it had never occurred to me because I’d never met anyone like me before because I’d only had classes with the same 3 autistic kids my entire life and other relationships with ND people weren’t really focused on that. Through finding out about having ADHD I slowly met more people over time that helped me see beyond that because I found a lot of relatability with autistic individuals at first then it got to be IDENTICAL experiences and slowly I had epiphany after epiphany from childhood and beyond of all the behaviors that had been written off because I was well mannered, spoke very well for my age etc but was just “extremely picky, shy and sensitive” but knowing as many people as I do now and knowing that relatability and support is there has been helpful.
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
@Gage Right? To me I'm not the divergent one, a lot of other people diverge from ME. It's a matter of perspective.
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
@Gage For the record I'm in total agreement with you. My comment on it being a matter of perspective was commentary on the language more than a reversal aimed at perpetuating harmful ideas.
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
@Gage I would personally kill for better language with which to discuss evolution. Agency is built into the English language so it's really hard to work around that.
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
@Gage No problem, good luck with the channel. It's encouraging to see more and more people pushing back against the status quo.
@coloneldracula3186
@coloneldracula3186 Жыл бұрын
Oof that "I forget to listen to music, but it actually really helps" hit really hard! I feel constatly like I forget how much I like to listen to music?? As if music (as a concept) just vanishes for me every now and then. I guess the plus side is "re-discovering" old songs I loved? Lol. Definitely think I'm AuDHD, the days of "Au: feeling so overwhelmed I can't move or think clearly" Vs "ADHD: body feel of f--king DO SOMETHING!" are just the worst, still figuring out how to manage it tbh. But thank you so much for you channel, the mix of "oh this is very helpful" and "wow other people feel this, too?" is amazing, thank you!!
@oflittleconsequence
@oflittleconsequence Жыл бұрын
Burn-out and bore-out at the same time? In my twenties I snuck out the back door in the middle of a hectic shift at work, drove home, and didn't get out of bed for a week. I had always referred to it as my "mini nervous breakdown" because I had no idea what the hell it was. For the first time, 30 years later, it makes sense. Thank you for that. Sincerely. I'm tearing-up as I type this. Thank you.
@Plethorality
@Plethorality 10 ай бұрын
I understand. I used to get sent out of classes at school because i was crying too much. Had no idea why i was crying, bit could not stop. Other years or months, cant cry at all. This os not our fault. Overload is overload.
@Config_TREX
@Config_TREX Ай бұрын
​@@Plethorality OMG. My life up to now has finally made sense ....my mind is blown!
@darksmiley5081
@darksmiley5081 Жыл бұрын
Multiple things to say here: 1. YES, I went through autistic burnout and bore-out at the same time. It was horrible. All of my hobbies and things I loved were too much stimulation or I couldn't plan them in because my routine was severely disrupted, and I was so easily overstimulated that I could barely listen to music. But I was so understimulated that I couldn't start anything or do anything at all. I was sitting in my chair all day and just... existing. It was a special kind of hell. It happened to me right after I graduated, because suddenly, my routine was gone, and I had too much free time to spend, and it made me so overwhelmed, and the sensory issues kept me from getting stimulated enough to actually do something or plan something. 2. I think one of the hardest things is to manage the autistic side of me when I am medicated for my ADHD. I may have to go on a different kind of medication again to deal with this. I am taking Ritalin, and while it works for my ADHD quite well, helps me do things, even though I mostly hyperfixate, I am actually able to just get up and do things (crazy, right?). But... when the meds wear off, I get hit with such intense hypersensitivity that any noise, bright lights, whatever, becomes unbearable. I started having more meltdowns after starting my meds again just for this reason alone. It takes me HOURS to recover after my meds wear off. If you have any experience with this and/or coping strategies, feel free to share! 3. I feel very much as if sometimes, my autistic needs and my ADHD needs are like opposite sides of a magnet, and I either get pulled by one or the other. I very much need routines, but I also need spontaneity and novelty. I would love to see people and have fun, but the anxiety of being around others is draining. Once I tried to sew, and it was boring, so I was like "I will do a number of these parts, then take a break" but my autistic side was like "Well, every part has to have the same amount of steps, it has to be the same, but you can't divide them equally, so no" and to this day I have not continued with the project. 4. I feel as if a lot of us have internalized shame when it comes to asking for help with certain things. I feel as if I am not allowed to ask my mum to help me clean my room, because "I should be able to do it on my own" even though apparently I am very much not able to. It makes me scared to move out and live on my own, but also... I can't deal with having people living with me since I need alone time so much. It's tough to find someone to help because I do most things the same way, and if someone cleans my room differently, I kinda freak out inside of my mind. I feel as if to manage both autism and ADHD, one has to learn to walk a very fine line between "risking bore-out" and "risking autistic burnout". It is really exhausting because both ADHD and autism are spectrums, bot having BOTH means you gotta accomodate a whole new kind of traits that emerge. It's really difficult
@barditheweird
@barditheweird Жыл бұрын
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this! Especially the point 2, about ADHD medication. Have you tried caffeine+L-Theanine? If yes, did they have a similar effect? I've been coming to terms with a self-diagnosed ADHD for half a year now (stimulant medication isn't legal in my country, so I've been extra procrastinating on getting an official diagnosis) and for the past couple of weeks I have been delving into the ASD rabbit hole and crying a lot A couple of days after I started suspecting that I have ASD as well as ADHD, caffeine+L-Theanine pills I ordered some time ago finally arrived. And so I tried them, and I felt so calm, collected, and focused it made me cry. However, after a few hours I began noticing that I am way more sensitive to tastes than I usually am. A bit later I had such an intense surge of hypersensitivity in my hearing, taste, and tactile senses, I thought I'd go insane. I never knew that keyboard keys could be so tingly that a simple act of typing would overload my brain and make me cry. And I am usually only hypersensitive in the hearing department. It took ≈2 days for my sensitivity to return to normal It was extremely scary and I am grateful to know there are other people with similar experiences
@p_serdiuk
@p_serdiuk Жыл бұрын
Oh. 1 is how I am feeling right now. Got through some complicated emotional stuff recently and I feel a lot better, but I just couldn't work or do anything for the last two days, and I'm bored out of my mind. Glad to know this is something that will pass soon then. It is indeed a special kind of hell.
@stellamariss3335
@stellamariss3335 Жыл бұрын
Holy crap is that what HAPPEND I have had this happen exactly as you described and I didn’t know what to call it but holy shit I have had it a couple times throughout life where it was bad for like a week. I felt dead
@stellamariss3335
@stellamariss3335 Жыл бұрын
Wow I read the rest of your comment and we are the same. It makes me feel better to know Im not the only one. And I also take meds but I also have neglected any autistic side as I didn’t know it existed. So I struggle with my meds making me to over stimulated and with many intrusive thoughts. But I also what to do things like sew or cross stitch or paint, etc. but my mind is also like you have to do to right you have to set everything up, you have to highlight everything and make sure you do it properly and then I just stop cause it takes so much energy and focus. Most of the time I spend hours preparing for something and then… that’s it. It remains unfinished and hardly started.
@p_serdiuk
@p_serdiuk Жыл бұрын
I can now confirm that listening to some music and playing some games even when I really didn't feel like it and didn't enjoy it as much as I usually do when I do that, made me feel better on the next day. It's weird, and it's a revelation. Thanks.
@PeterDragonPPG
@PeterDragonPPG Жыл бұрын
Appropriate rest/space/quiet/routine is so incredibly important but unfortunately way too many people think it means I am lazy/worse as I just do not want/need/fit into the endless ridiculousness of this world. Took me a long time to find the balance I need with part time work, but it just makes people jealous instead of them realizing the ridiculousness they are part of/tolerating because it's "normal"
@molchmolchmolchmolch
@molchmolchmolchmolch Жыл бұрын
They're conditioned as well. I just feel sorry for them bc I know most would prefer sthg else if they could. And I also think ppl don't dare to be critical very much if you're just very assertive and assured when you say I work less bc I know what I need. Also - I have to deal with way less income bc I can't work 40 hours and still live. In that way it really is a kind of disability.
@AmmaraSHAH773377
@AmmaraSHAH773377 11 ай бұрын
Doing Montessori pack parenting minimalist type of life now with the girls is just helping more treat my inner child. Im giving them the routine that i needed as a child and they deserve the best but it is ok to sometimes mess up and say sorry for it and still the effect is long term on them the peace they get from their minimal routine Simplicity parenting is a good book Quiet time in the routine usually when baby naps has a huge impact on us
@kelsey5468
@kelsey5468 Жыл бұрын
An important way I’ve been able to show kindness to myself is taking 5 minutes when I get home from work to figure out what my body needs. I usually find it easiest for me to do in a low sensory environment (aka my closet with the lights off and no sound) I calm down a bit then I’m able to read the cues I missed like I haven’t had any water all day or my feet are freezing I need socks etc. I get my body what it needs before I go about the rest of my day and it’s been going a lot smoother
@nyarparablepsis872
@nyarparablepsis872 Жыл бұрын
That's a great idea I'm gonna steal, thanks for sharing!
@annabelleplouffe8634
@annabelleplouffe8634 Жыл бұрын
That is so sweet of yourself to do 🥺 this is gentle and yet comforting enough to attend to your unmet needs. I’ll try this out in the future 🫶🏼
@ES11777
@ES11777 3 ай бұрын
Great way to decompress
@eleanormarshall455
@eleanormarshall455 Жыл бұрын
I find that burnout and boreout happen simultaneously a lot of the time for me because when I'm burnt out I feel unable to exercise, go out, meet friends and keep up with the things that I need to keep me stimulated.
@tortoiseperson
@tortoiseperson Жыл бұрын
Yes! And it feels like punishment.
@kracklinkamphyre7142
@kracklinkamphyre7142 Жыл бұрын
I find working the overlaps helps appease both. Binging special interests helps both. Stimming to music helps both. Intense flavours help both. Getting enough sleep...you get the idea. ADHD meds help me focus on my ASD needs - wearing earplugs, slowing down and focusing and not being as sensory seeking (moving slower and doing things methodically), getting my house in order, that kind of thing.
@darbydelane4588
@darbydelane4588 Жыл бұрын
Well explained. Exactly my same situation and insights.
@daniel_tenner
@daniel_tenner Жыл бұрын
+1 to getting the house in order! My house has been a mess for my whole life. It’s been unpleasant but I just couldn’t help it, so I just learned to tolerate it even though I dislike the visual noise. Now I’m on meds for the adhd, I’ve slowly but surely been sorting out the messes, reorganising stuff so it makes sense. I’ve turned my “big box of cables” into a bunch of little labelled drawers each containing only one kind of cable. And so on.
@Bethany.Loveday
@Bethany.Loveday Жыл бұрын
It’s because of your previous video on AuDHD that I went and got diagnosed for both. I knew about ADHD and was self diagnosed, but didn’t feel confident to get a formal diagnosis because it didn’t paint the whole picture for me and so I doubt my self diagnosis was completely correct. Until I watched your video, then boom! The whole picture was painted and I booked in right after watching the video lol 😆 I now have a formal diagnosis for AuDHD, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you 💕
@whizzywoo582
@whizzywoo582 Жыл бұрын
I didn't realise how self critical I was until I was reading a book trying to learning mindfulness (mindfulness, a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world), and for the first time I realised there was a non-stop critical voice running through my head telling me all sorts of awful things about what I wazzock I was. I've still not quite achieved the ability to quiet my thoughts, but my son made me laugh the other day, he said 'each time that voice appears, remember it's your mother and nobody cares what she thinks'. I'll be 56 this year, only realised I might be autistic just before lockdown, and only realised I'm probably adhd as well when it was mentioned in a work OH appointment. Still waiting for an official diagnosis but the truth of the conflict is something my whole life has been about. Have been concentrating on appeasing the autistic side, but definitely need to pay attention to both, in a controlled manner.
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
Meditation has been so helpful for me. I'm glad you're finding success with it, as well.
@juiice
@juiice Жыл бұрын
Gosh I love the word ‘wassock’! 😂 I have that internalised criticising voice as well, it’s mostly my mother too. It’s very hard to continue a relationship with someone who berated me constantly as a child when I feel almost responsible for now as I have clearly matured beyond her levels of self awareness. Your son is right. I believe meditation can help. It’s just hard to calm the ‘engine’ that’s constantly running in order to do it.
@adrenalynn1015
@adrenalynn1015 Жыл бұрын
Wrote your son's words into my diary :)
@TonyHalle
@TonyHalle 8 ай бұрын
Your son had a good idea! I'm gonna start imagining my dad saying these things because I would never take his comments seriously 😂
@markwalton3367
@markwalton3367 5 ай бұрын
I love the comment from your son and the fact that you immediately saw the humor. Does your son have ADHD, ASD or both?
@autism_and_niamh
@autism_and_niamh Жыл бұрын
YES to listening to music or podcasts while doing boring things! Literally the only way I can finish household tasks 😅 Something I really struggle with as an auDHDer is the "all or nothing" mindset! So I'll make a list of tasks, but once I start (which can take forever to begin with) I get this manic "I can do ALL the things!" impulse. Then I end up burning myself out after completing about 3/4 of the tasks. But I still feel satisfaction that I completed some things... it's a constant game my brain plays with itself! 😆 I don't think I'll be able to stick to only 10 minutes of doing a task, but I'm going to download your checklist (thank you for making that btw!!) because we all have to start somewhere 😊
@robscovell5951
@robscovell5951 Жыл бұрын
I'm glad to have come across people with this experience. I always felt that my life is either in the fast lane or stuck on the hard shoulder [emergency lane].
@katesemple555
@katesemple555 Жыл бұрын
I started exercising to help with depression, which may have actually been autistic burnout caused by moving 1400km to a new province. I find it helps the adhd a bit and definitely helped my mood so it had to continue.The autistic side now insists that the exercise must happen at a specific time of day and I get stressed out when I can't, unless I've had advance warning to make a new plan. It's seeing things like this that make me really understand how these 2 seemingly opposite conditions coexist.
@Plethorality
@Plethorality 10 ай бұрын
I understand. It is horrible when they fight each other.
@hannah51238
@hannah51238 Жыл бұрын
I find the "bore out" and "burn out" thing happens to me after something mega, like not having a break from the kids all weekend or missing out on my Monday zone out day. It's like a feeling of extreme irritability and depression and guilt at the same time. It's awful. I find I can mostly get rid of it by putting on a TV show that is fairly mindless but has enough going on that I stay entertained (usually drag race) AND playing a fairly chill game alongside it, like a city builder. Neither requires much thought but does require some thought that my autism and ADHD are entertained. Autism is happy with the city builder, ADHD is happy with the city builder and the wonderful entertainment provided by drag race. ALSO! I have recently bought Sam's workbook and it's brilliant. Can't recommend it enough!
@p_serdiuk
@p_serdiuk Жыл бұрын
Thanks for the tip, I'll try it now as I happen to be in that state lol
@nyahnyahson523
@nyahnyahson523 Жыл бұрын
For me it's always been Minecraft. It's creative, chill, can be done socially, and engaging.
@squeakyratgaming
@squeakyratgaming Жыл бұрын
Bruh, is this why I love and can spend days doing building games? Hmmm...
@sneak9407
@sneak9407 Жыл бұрын
​@@squeakyratgamingyou probably thought you were sigma for loving Minecraft 😂. I've recently watched about 50 autism videos and I'm starting to belive I might be autistic as well. Only problem is I understand social interactions and don't struggle much with it, but i will rather save my energy if I'm not interested in a certain outcome. Fun fact some of my friends used to believe I was the most extroverted because of how well i could socially interact. According to David Goggins: they don't know me son. Also, I try not to play building games because I can get lost in it them. Then might play it for an unhealthy amount of time. Which might lead to me getting fired. I like having money, so can't risk that 😂. The ironic about me going down this rabbit hole of autism related videos was me trying to figure out a girl I'm currently dating and why somedays she limits conversations. she matches almost everything in this video and many more, but at this point I'm trying to find out about myself as well.
@squeakyratgaming
@squeakyratgaming Жыл бұрын
@@sneak9407 Never played minecraft. My games of choice are either cities skylines (after growing up on simcity) or other survivals that allow me to base build (hello 1.6k hours in ark xD)
@lemmetalkaboutthis
@lemmetalkaboutthis Жыл бұрын
"It's not gonna go away, that's just how your brain works" that's the hardest part to get my family to understand - and to accept for yourself I can MANAGE my adhd and stuff, but just because I was better at acting more normal for them they thought it was equal to my adhd not being present, or that the meds help suppress the adhd, instead of what they're actually doing: helping me manage it. This is never gonna go away, and I'm not sad about that, even though, yes, it frustrates me often that this is how I am - but I also wouldn't be me without it. That's the hardest part for other people to understand, that it's ALWAYS there, not just in certain situations, and that you can't "get over it" because it affects every part of your life, every day, every moment. I'm so lucky and grateful that I found friends who, even though they don't understand a lot of the things I do, still just roll with it and go along and respect it when I say I can't do certain things with them, or are willing to change plans to something I'm okay to do so we can still hang out Also, tho, "planned spontaneity" - yes, yes, absolutely - I pick times (sometimes a full day, but mostly a couple hours every day) where I know I can "go off the grid" without consequences and just kinda let my brain off the leash and follow every whim, impulse, or idea - it's incredibly stress-relieving
@RisaPlays
@RisaPlays Жыл бұрын
Combination burned out and bored out makes so much sense to my brain. The desire to do ALL the things mixed with significant overwhelm at the smallest tasks.
@Plethorality
@Plethorality 10 ай бұрын
You have just described my daily life! I am sorry that you go through this, but dizzy at the thought that someone understands.
@BriannadaSilva
@BriannadaSilva Жыл бұрын
I've DEFINITELY had burnout and boreout at the same time. I didn't realize this wasn't a universal experience until I mentioned it to a brother once; "You know when you're really tired and really energized at the same time? That's how I am right now." And he was just like... 🤨 "wut?"
@helenm1085
@helenm1085 Жыл бұрын
Yes! I definitely relate to that part! I have the worst bore-out when I'm in burnout because that's when I'm too tired to do anything more complex or even focus on simple things like watching TV. It's been suggested that I have ADHD but I haven't got very far into investigating it yet
@SuperLlamalover
@SuperLlamalover Жыл бұрын
I call that "wired tired"
@crux321
@crux321 7 ай бұрын
My gf always asks me when I'm wiped out why I don't just rest in bed but instead sit at the computer or do something with my hands. . . I would be great if I could just rest in bed but damn I start to feel anxious just lying there!
@m4rt_
@m4rt_ Жыл бұрын
11:00 I have noticed that with work. if I am there alone, I am not very productive, but if there is someone else there I am more productive.
@philurbaniak1811
@philurbaniak1811 Жыл бұрын
👍👍"The troll under the bridge in my brain", I love that 😊👌
@philurbaniak1811
@philurbaniak1811 Жыл бұрын
👍👍Open video call is a great idea, I haven't tried that exactly but I've found "study along" livestreams really useful! Scheduled housekeeping time would be great for me, I will work on that 👍 Thanks Sam! 👍👍
@MammaApa
@MammaApa Жыл бұрын
I am fantastically great at writing to do lists which I never do any of the things on. At this point I could probably classify them as fiction.
@jayneburns-milostic3208
@jayneburns-milostic3208 10 ай бұрын
I have been writing a similar list for decades now 😂 I keep diaries and used to judge myself so hard…I’m much kinder now I know but I understand the fiction. 😊
@OceanWalk7
@OceanWalk7 8 ай бұрын
​@@jayneburns-milostic3208At least you KEEP the diaries! I got about 20 diaries and topical books with page 1 and 2 neatly filled.
@TheStephanieGilbert
@TheStephanieGilbert 8 ай бұрын
Ha! That’s me! I’m also great at planning for that matter.
@jacobmoeller5345
@jacobmoeller5345 7 ай бұрын
😂 one of my favorite pasttimes is recopying very similar to-do lists from day to day or week to week while hating myself
@Rxiepndhst
@Rxiepndhst 2 ай бұрын
Hahahaha we're all novelists here
@Pickle_Candy
@Pickle_Candy Жыл бұрын
Thinking about ADHD bore-out and autistic burnout as something that can both happen at the same time has really helped me to understand my situation. Lately, I've been so stressed out and overwhelmed by my day-to-day life, mostly from work and social obligations, that I've just been too tired to really do much of anything and I've started isolating myself a lot (more than usual), which has lead to a feeling of under-stimulation and restlessness that I simply don't have the energy to fully address. I feel so helplessly trapped in my own mind that it is honestly suffocating, and it's hard not to feel like nothing more than a useless burden when even something as simply as basic everyday responsibilities becomes too much for me to handle. Thank you for putting out this video, it's super helpful to be reminded that I am not alone in these struggles and there are people out there that can help. Oh yeah, and that bit about alcohol... I can definitely relate to that, more than I'd like to admit.
@Merdle
@Merdle 9 ай бұрын
I feel this so much. All of it. Thank you!
@waynepalumbo8917
@waynepalumbo8917 Жыл бұрын
10:56 - moral support is super underrated. Just having someone sit there with me makes me feel like i'm not alone, and that i have backup. My biggest fear has always been "the unknown" and the future is the biggest unknown thing. So it doesnt matter how well planned something is, or how innocuous.... I get anxiety (not bad, but still there) just pulling up to a drivethru and ordering food because i worry that the person won't understand what i'm ordering or that it will be wrong, or that i'll upset them in some way. It took me a long time to realize that most people don't actually care about those little interactions and that I needed to just remember that other people just want to finish the task at hand, and won't think about the transaction afterward. (Unlike me who will sometimes fret over an interaction that i had days or months or years ago).
@crowolfe290
@crowolfe290 Жыл бұрын
Holy crap............... this describes my entire experience. And I JUST went through a long phase of burn-out and bore-out. I had no words to describe it at the time or even understand it! Thank you!
@nateweaver3324
@nateweaver3324 Жыл бұрын
This resonates with me so much! I especially get having to navigate between burnout and bore-out. My life often feels like I'm walking on one of those rickety old hand-made bridges that are just wooden planks held together by rope that are featured in a lot of old movies, and I've got to tread very carefully so I don't fall through. I often feel overwhelmed and often feel bored. I feel like I've found a good balance between the two most of the time, but it's an everyday challenge to make sure I have a healthy level of stimulation. I've personally found that reading and video games are great ways to both prevent or recover from burnout but also to deal with boredom. Both activities provide me with a moderate amount of controlled stimulation that satisfy both my autism and ADHD.
@fallenshadoria5724
@fallenshadoria5724 Жыл бұрын
Your comment resonates so much with me as well as the video. I do pretty much the same thing, if the day was hard and I still have energy left when I get home I play games and if I dont have energy its either reading or go to "sleep" basically turn off the lights, lie down and let the brain do its thing.
@birthyourbook
@birthyourbook Жыл бұрын
You've just helped me realise why reading HAS to be a part of my day (and not just at bedtime). I knew it helped me feel good but your comment has helped me see that it's because it satisfies BOTH my autism and ADHD. Yesssss! Thank you!
@sakhti9962
@sakhti9962 Жыл бұрын
Video games are great at providing the exact amount of stimulation needed, while still doing something.
@noblestsavage1742
@noblestsavage1742 Жыл бұрын
Finding a job that balance's both sides is also very useful. you spend so much time at work that if that's good, the rest of your life becomes more bearable. For example I'm a theatre nurse, the narrow focus and quietness suits my autism side but it has just enough novelty and excitement to keep the adhd side happy.
@autisticBBBELady
@autisticBBBELady 27 күн бұрын
Yes! That's how I deal with it. Music and dancing and singing helps both my autism and my adhd.
@raven8974
@raven8974 Жыл бұрын
This is basically 100% me! I thought I was alone! I'm not fully diagnosed yet so this is really reassuring I'm not just 'a failure', thank you so much 💕
@julie_uk_
@julie_uk_ Жыл бұрын
Praise be to hearing the term: 'Bore Out' yesssss! Autistic/ADHD here. How we communicate those varied needs is a massive challenge at the moment
@saikiluverrrrr
@saikiluverrrrr Жыл бұрын
i've literally been on severe burnout for the past two/three weeks from my adhd and autism because of work, stress about my future (i'm only 18) and just not having any sort of regulation in my life because of my hyperfixations and getting distracted. i know this video will help, but i'm taking it one day at a time and one of my goals for this year is to not hold myself to NT standards and to work _with_ my neurodivergencies and not against them 😊
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
Cheers to that! We all have to go at our own pace.
@adrenalynn1015
@adrenalynn1015 Жыл бұрын
Sounds like you are on the right track & know what you are doing. Hope things get easier
@BENI_MMNA
@BENI_MMNA Жыл бұрын
You got this! Baby steps❤
@jaxs616
@jaxs616 Жыл бұрын
Those earrings, though. Did anyone else notice the reflection of the sparkly curtain in her earrings??
@juiice
@juiice Жыл бұрын
I can relate to so much of what you’re saying. It’s really lovely actually to know there are other AuDHDers out there battling two sides of their brains at once 😂
@verosdes
@verosdes Жыл бұрын
I got my ADHD diagnosis about a year ago but I find that strategies and even medication have not been enough. I’m now in the journey of getting a diagnosis for autism, which I feel so identified with when described in combination. Your channel has been a great source of new avenues to think about what I need and how to deal with, well, life. Thank you so much for your work!! It means a lot specially for people in countries/cultures where neurodiversity is stigmatized and not well understood even by mental health providers.
@dawnb8906
@dawnb8906 Жыл бұрын
I got mine via the "right to choose route" in the UK via my GP and then via ADHD 360 who are now incorporating ASD 360. The assessment and diagnostic procedure was amazingly quick and painless and completely free of charge. Highly recommend
@alexandra1415
@alexandra1415 Жыл бұрын
@@dawnb8906 what's this? im in the uk as well and trying to get ASD diagnosis and potentially have adhd as well
@Solenne3
@Solenne3 Жыл бұрын
I was feeling that a lot in the last year. I got my ADHD diagnosis in 2020 and got an Autism diagnosis from a different RN Practitioner in April. Now she isn't sure if I have ADHD now. Meanwhile I feel like she's a bit dated in her understanding of ADHD. I have immersed myself in learning about both conditions and this channel and I know I have both. Yet people closest to me question both these conditions. So now I'm looking into a second opinion and getting a diagnosis with someone with a PhD or PsyD. If you haven't gotten a diagnosis yet I recommend making sure the practitioner has a higher level credential or at least expertise in both Autism and ADHD.
@binesart
@binesart Жыл бұрын
Just washed dishes in an extremely brainfoggedstate due to a cold and burnout and bore out… just watching videos like yours helps me start and struggle through these painful tasks. Thanks.
@affsteak3530
@affsteak3530 Жыл бұрын
7:50 This sounds exactly what I was struggling with before I started therapy. I was bored to tears in my free time, but doing anything I wanted/needed to do (especially meal planning/prep) was overwhelming. I didn't want to leave the house because of the effort and planning involved, but also hated being home doomscrolling.
@quietfox157
@quietfox157 Жыл бұрын
"I always forget to listen to music but when I do it makes me feel good." This hits so hard. Some months ago I've listened to music after a long time. But not just any music but songs I've loved many years ago. I was laying in my bed and cried because I've missed that so much. I'm also constantly thinking about what planning system would work best for me. Currently I'm using a modified version of the Bullet Journal. Mainly I'm using a small ring binder so I can rearrange the sheets and make use of registers to put everything in groups. At first it was super exciting but now I don't want to make the monthly sheets anymore 😅
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
At 39 years old, I’ve only recently come to the realization that I am on the spectrum. I’ve done more research on this, than anything ever haha The pandemic took me out of my restaurant job, that I was already suffering massive burnout from. It is 3 years later and I’m only now starting to come out of it…. Mainly since I have the words to describe my experience now. Channels like yours have helped sooo much in finding my own voice. 🥰
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
@Gage what am I trying to fix? 😸 I’m happier knowing, than ever.
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
@Gage oh now I understand! No apologies needed at all! ❤️
@lizhyink5636
@lizhyink5636 Жыл бұрын
Yeah, it was during this time, while trying to understand covid and overall health, that I learned how studies show a connection between congenital heart conditions like mine, ADHD, and/ or autism. I'm also not the only one in my family to have these traits. So, maybe there is genetic predisposition to all 3 in my family's gene pool. Whether it's correlation or causation, ( there are different theories about neurodevelopment,) it makes a huge difference to consider this new information. * As you'd mentioned, being able to relate and *describe experiences is meaningful.
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
@@lizhyink5636 Sooo meaningful! I’m sorry we go through this! I have been dealing with food reactions for over a decade. Bad ones. Anaphylaxis and lots of mouth sores mainly… also PMDD or PME has been just “the best” 😅😞🙃 Also my lack of good posture, mixed with working hunched over for my bartending and serving jobs and also small freak accidents, have caused extreme neck and shoulder pain and tightness. I was diagnosed with Stenosis & arthritis in my neck and so many other issues and yet autism is something I found on my own. They would always try to push antidepressants on me, even when I would tell them that u just feel different. I’m not sad for No reason… I had plenty. Being told I’m over sensitive was a constant, like it was My problem. It’s like finding this out, has made all of the negative voices of my past, start to dissipate. I’m still trying to get back to it… more like just finding a true new normal for me.
@tilldeathdouspartharmonytr9829
@tilldeathdouspartharmonytr9829 3 ай бұрын
I was so Adhd and some I never even knew I was asd untill I was medicated. When the adhd was finally managed as well as can be, the autisum became very obvious. It's absolutely manic at times cause only now do I see and feel the struggles of both clashing at times fighting so melt downs and burnout are more frequent ☠️
@josephmartin1540
@josephmartin1540 Жыл бұрын
This is one of the best videos yet. Thank you for it! One might go back to therapy if one could find a therapist who gets this stuff! God knows, this is a real struggle! You are helping!
@gamewrit0058
@gamewrit0058 Жыл бұрын
14:00 Yes, I use a combination of electronic and paper: A pretty but streamlined desk blotter calendar hung on the wall for at-a-glance overview of my month, and my phone's google calendar for auditory reminders to prep and leave for appointments. Several times a year I have to resist the urge to buy a planner, but they never work well for me, just waste a lot of time with upkeep. For me, planners are an excuse to excessively "plan," instead of doing or living. Then I close them and either forget or constantly dig them out and recheck and cross reference everything. But with a wall calendar, I can walk over or glance up, see my (2 or 3! 😅) Big things for the day, and not get derailed.
@prospectorstudios
@prospectorstudios Жыл бұрын
Someone with both diagnoses here. It's been difficult coming to my own list of 'best practice's. I can't help but wonder if this should be a real diagnosis and given how fast the DSM can totally flip their views as new research comes in, it could happen if people who deal with it make their selves heard. Thank you for doing your bit on that front. Damage has been done by giving people diagnoses that may be contradicting the other undiagnosed thing. I try to be self compassionate if I react differently to some other people with my diagnosis. When your perspective, the ONE perspective you've ever been given access to as a human being, is not understood, sometimes that's all you can do.
@Hell_Billy
@Hell_Billy Жыл бұрын
I have finally figured out that with my routines, I still need to get everything done, but I do it in different order everytime. like you’re saying, I also add some fun things to keep me engaged with my routines:)
@jimwilliams3816
@jimwilliams3816 Жыл бұрын
The blooper reel was just what I needed today! Actually the whole video. I seem to have moved into the dark, pathologizing language part of my ADHD assessment, so it meant so much to see a kind face. The content was very helpful too, but just your being there and being you made me feel like the world is not so horrible and lonely. Thank you for all you do, Sam.
@SimoneEppler
@SimoneEppler Жыл бұрын
I don’t know if I’m AuDHD (I am diagnosed with ADHD) but I relate heavily to everything, and find this (and other videos you’ve made) very helpful. Thank you so much! ❤
@nikko_not_neko
@nikko_not_neko Жыл бұрын
9:07 "i always forget to listen to music but when i do it makes me feel good" literally captured my entire essence!! on my 45min commute to work i will be so caught up in my own thoughts that by the time i park i realize - oh i just rode the entire way in silence 😅 10:57 oh my god and the body doubling too!! i HATE doing laundry so much that i would rather clean the bathroom or do dishes, but if i have someone there with me as i fold and put it away, then i can do it no problem! often times my boyfriend and i will both fold our own laundry together side by side and it really helps me! 15:30 this is similar to another thing my boyfriend and i implemented in our household! we call it our "15 minute chore". basically set a timer for 15 mins and just spend that time doing any daily cleaning you see that needs to be done. we had a whiteboard in the kitchen that we would update and write what chore(s) we did for 15 min that day! (we had extremely different work schedules, so we would do our chores at different times) this really kept us accountable and with each of us doing just 15 minutes (combined 30 mins!!) every day helped us SO much! no more overflowing trash or mountain of dishes due to being busy and feeling overwhelmed. especially with me since i have an "all or nothing" mindset where i feel the need to complete everything all at once, which just thinking about that would stress me out to the point of needing to lay down and then i can't even do anything. so just making a rule of strictly 15 mins really really helped me!
@annabelleplouffe8634
@annabelleplouffe8634 Жыл бұрын
Recently I’ve been watching Netflix/KZbin when I really don’t feel like taking a shower or when I do the dishes. This helps sooo much and I don’t associate either as being « bad » as much and sometimes find myself not needing to watch something.
@gluttonouspawn4619
@gluttonouspawn4619 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video! Once when I first realized I might be autistic I tried to look up tips and tricks. I ended up with links about how to "deal" with neuro-divergent folks instead. It was disheartening at the time so I appreciate this vid!
@ryana8246
@ryana8246 Жыл бұрын
The combo for me is autism, Adhd and auditory processing disorder which can be difficult to manage, but thanks for your videos.
@lykanbluepaws
@lykanbluepaws Жыл бұрын
I wish I knew these things 30 years ago, thank you so much for educating the world.
@CassieCarryd
@CassieCarryd Жыл бұрын
I like the advice of using music to pump you up and focus you because I find doing work is a lot easier when I can stim while listening to music in... Too many different ways to list. Just be sure to accommodate people you're working with/near by making sure you can both hear one another.
@Lyandra01
@Lyandra01 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for this video! I have gotten so much criticism from friends and family who say that I’m either being lazy or bougie for hiring a housekeeper, but it makes such a huge difference for me! They can clean my whole house in two hours whereas I might get bogged down in cleaning just my desk for two hours because I have to go through so many steps, in a specific order to do it, and might get distracted going down memory lane with the things I find in my drawer-which I will then want to take pictures of and send to my friends to go down memory lane with me…. Plus, I’m most productive between 3am and 7am, but now that I have a kid, I can’t make noise at odd hours or stay up that late and still be awake for them after they wake up. It costs me too much in my own time-and mental and emotional energy-to clean my own house. I’m less stressed and more likely to eat dinner regularly, if I pay someone else to do it.
@charliec2960
@charliec2960 Жыл бұрын
You mentioned the Sweepy app a year ago and that's been a game changer when it comes to cleaning the house and staying on top of household tasks.
@sammylangford8858
@sammylangford8858 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Sam for those great ideas I really need to put more time into going easier on myself. I used to meditate a lot. But with how hectic life has been for me in the past few years with work I had forgotten to make time for myself and to help myself. So you reminded me on that and that I need to just take a step back to nurture myself in a easy way that doesn’t make me feel overwhelmed.
@felisfelidae6113
@felisfelidae6113 Жыл бұрын
>I was a very small child, I was diagnosed w/Mild Ataxia Cerebral Palsy (I found documentation in regards to this when I was a young teen) >my balance & gait are more severe when I’m extremely tired or when I not feeling well. >And when I’m exhausted or sleepy, my left eye turns inward & my ankles turn in (pronate). >Plus, I get physical tic on my face when feeling this way >Treatment I had until I was 14: physical therapy for my legs & feet & wore orthopaedic shoes w/Thomas heels & ankle braces/splints >Since one of my legs is longer than the other (which caused my mild scoliosis & sciatica) & I was extremely short as a kid & looked 2 to 4yrs younger than my age, but the only way this could be an operation & stay in a wheelchair for a year. >neuro-ophthalmology therapy (didn’t work) & then I had surgery in my eyes - shortening tendons next to my eyeballs as a teen. >As a young adult, I was officially diagnosed with ADHD (in undergrad uni). And possibly having Asperger’s Syndrome. >It wasn’t till I was age 35 (I’m 51 now), I got officially diagnosed w/Nonverbal Learning Disorder w/Sensory Processing Disorder. >I was referred to due to multiple neurological disorders & an incident where I lost a lot of blood, possibly neurological /TIA. >This is when I got diagnosed with Nonverbal Learning Disorder & Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD isn’t in the DSM 5R) through an occupational therapist. Since I was a clinical therapist & a Special Needs & Gifted Needs teacher, I’m quite aware /familiar w/these conditions. I’m convinced that I was passionate about helping students w/ special needs & I can identify various conditions due to my childhood experiences & vice versa.
@Merdle
@Merdle 9 ай бұрын
Stress is my downfall. It kneecaps me. That is my biggest struggle in building a sustainable life. Thank you!
@Sarah-kb1ko
@Sarah-kb1ko Жыл бұрын
So happy to listen to your wise insights! Very helpful as I was just diagnosed with autism & adhd a month ago.🦄 Thanks Sam!
@soryndravenz30
@soryndravenz30 Жыл бұрын
I'm currently in a bore out and burnout so relatable. Overwhelmed and underwhelmed statement is so like yaaaaaaaasssssss .
@666Tomato666
@666Tomato666 10 ай бұрын
that "body doubling" part is actually quite common in programming, and the interesting part is that you don't actually need a person to do that, we call it "rubber duck debugging"; it's where you go through a complex problem and explain it to a rubber duck.
@aleenaprasannan2146
@aleenaprasannan2146 9 ай бұрын
Could you elaborate a bit on that? Finding a human being for 'body doubling' is not really achievable rn for me.
@666Tomato666
@666Tomato666 9 ай бұрын
@@aleenaprasannan2146 see "rubber duck debugging" article on wikipedia
@juliavunkannon4072
@juliavunkannon4072 Жыл бұрын
Dual burn out and bore-out! I never thought of it that way. At work I had a really demanding project that I spent about a year focusing on, then that deliverable went live, and i dropped that project (and everything else) like they were suddenly granite slabs. This was two years ago, and I'm only feeling now that I am recovering to a more sustainable approach to working. Thank you so much for explaining these concepts, it means the world to feel like things I experience have words and descriptions.
@wanderingpanic7429
@wanderingpanic7429 Жыл бұрын
I've only recently been diagnosed as autistic but believe I'm also ADHD and probably a few others too. You asked if anyone thinks they have been burnt out at the same time as bored out. This resonated and I would definitely yes. I have been in a ground hog day situation with autistic burn out for 10+ years and this is in part due to not having a diagnosis but also because I go too hard too fast to deal with my ADHD needs. I still have no idea how to stay out of burn out but I am outsourcing and asking for help now that I at least understand what's going on. Thanks for your videos. They are all so helpful
@pauagh
@pauagh Жыл бұрын
yeah, I've been there, having a burn out and a bore out at the same time. I think many times in my life, which explains all the wrong diagnosis of bipolar and such, but more aware of it all know I went through exactly that just some months ago. For a couple months in a burnout going through waves of depression, feeling desperately needing to do something, see a friend, dance, whatever, but everytime I tried I was overwhelmed immediately, and knowing that it was "silly" to be so overwhelmed for things that were obvious part of what I wanted/needed to do, but not really finding a way around it.... so I just did the bits that I could, and retreated, I also self medicated a bit on ocasions, but way less than I used to and way more aware of what I was doing with it (cuz yeah, much like you I went through it all most of my life without knowing why I was like I was.... I identify with most of what you say in your videos, it's almost scary, hahah - so btw, thank you so much for what you do -, and yeah, I did use alcohol way to often and from a young age to cope), while trying to find my way back to balance yet again. I think a huge part in achieving that balance is finding the right friends that would get you and let you be, whatever "you" could do and is at that moment. Not upset or pressuring for me to be more "fun", social or whatever, or for me dissapearing whenever I have to and for as long as I need to. Good friends are gold.
@BrokenDollyTV
@BrokenDollyTV Жыл бұрын
So glad i found this channel. I relate 100% and then some. I'm 38 and got diagnosed at 33. Been masterfully masking my entire life. The internal struggle and subsequent social burn out is tremendous now, after 2 kids and a 15 year relationship. My safe space is home but when I've been out and about around others in public , i come home and become nonverbal and turn into an npc. My son is also autistic but i dont think he has adhd . compared to me he is so laid back and chill. But we definitely relate on levels.
@VanessaMarieBooks
@VanessaMarieBooks 10 ай бұрын
The constant cycle between bore-out & burn-out is my life! It's midnight where I am right now, and I literally just emailed this video to my therapist and said "I think I figured out the missing piece." We had talked in one of my previous sessions about how there might be another piece to the puzzle we're missing cause we've been working on managing the ADHD side, but I've still been struggling and feeling overwhelmed, overscheduled, & anxious (especially with one of my big project deadlines approaching soon). I'm starting to think that autism might have been the missing puzzle piece.
@meganlampa3293
@meganlampa3293 Жыл бұрын
'I always forget to listen to music, but when I do, I feel better ' me too❤ being in a choir really helps
@pippajennings5856
@pippajennings5856 21 күн бұрын
I'm AuDHD. I spent most of this video staring at the sparkly background and thinking I should go and get the washing out of the machine. I will watch it again later as its really helpful. Thank you
@aarongregory3955
@aarongregory3955 3 күн бұрын
That morning boom makes so much sense to me for my experience.
@saphira6148
@saphira6148 Жыл бұрын
I've recently found your channel and I've learned so much! My 7yr old son has ASD and ADHD (combined type). I'm trying to learn more about what it is like for him and how to better support him. Thank you so much for sharing your story and things that have helped you! 💗💗
@NinaKatharinaWeber
@NinaKatharinaWeber Жыл бұрын
I have one son with adhd (still in diagnosis) and one with autism. They enjoy each other but they can get on each other‘s nerves with their opposed preferences 😅
@KAIMAOFFICIAL
@KAIMAOFFICIAL Жыл бұрын
Currently (I think) going through a burnout and really struggling.. but this video is so helpful - all of your videos are so bang on with everything and I’ve sent them to friends and family and it’s helped them understand my autism and adhd as well.. Thankyou!!
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
I’ve been in one for 3 years now and had no words to describe it. You are not alone. We are doing our best ❤️
@KAIMAOFFICIAL
@KAIMAOFFICIAL Жыл бұрын
@@Livinginthegrayarea how do you cope?? ❤️
@Livinginthegrayarea
@Livinginthegrayarea Жыл бұрын
@@KAIMAOFFICIAL lots of open communication with my loved ones, even when difficult, had big a huge improvement. Also, changing what I can has been the biggest thing…. Giving myself a bedtime routine, that’s for me…. Having strong things to smell… soft music… mainly change… change that I choose. Things that slowly change my day to day functioning mainly. Figuring out what I truly need and really looking at the dark stuff too.
@KAIMAOFFICIAL
@KAIMAOFFICIAL Жыл бұрын
@@Livinginthegrayarea Thankyou, that’s incredibly helpful. It feels like hell and I’m trapped and it’s so confusing.. good luck ❤️
@cheesebread3
@cheesebread3 Жыл бұрын
This is so interesting. I’m autistic and I just recently started thinking I might also have ADHD. I’ve gone through a lot of burnouts, but I didn’t realize there’s also a name for bore outs! I totally experienced that during semester breaks in school. I would feel sort of depressed but also kind of itchy like I needed to move and do things. I would start rearranging the furniture and furiously cleaning the entire house. I don’t really get that nowadays because I am too tired to do any of that stuff 😂 but managing my day to day life is a huge struggle, I’m constantly forgetting appointments. I have this constant sense of oh my god I have so much stuff to do. Even if it’s just two or three things. But like, I do the things and then more things need to be done. I can never keep on top of it 😭
@debreaneibarger2558
@debreaneibarger2558 Жыл бұрын
'Sort of depressed but also kind of itchy like I need to do things ' describes it perfectly 😅. That's me 100%! 😂
@cheesebread3
@cheesebread3 Жыл бұрын
@@debreaneibarger2558 glad I’m not alone 😆
@KECisamazing
@KECisamazing 8 күн бұрын
Diagnosed with ADHD, self-diagnosed autism. I have the opposite side of the coin in terms of having worked on my ADHD through medication and therapy, only to realize I also have autism and have been neglecting needs from that side of myself my whole life. Thank you for posting this video, because I've been struggling with burnout lately (more so than the rest of my life) and I need tips for feeling better. Sometimes when I get home from work the only thing I can do to feel better is hide under my covers with the lights off due to the overstimulation. Now that I've done a lot of research on autism, I can name the feeling I have when I've masked for too long and it's slipping due to exhaustion. I feel a lot more valid for hating stereotypically "fun" things like clubs/bars and loud crowded places. In the past I always chalked up my hypersensitivity to my ADHD alone, but autism videos and research has helped me figure out why it's so intense and specific. I'm not the cleanest person (I do still have adhd), but I've noticed over the years that there are some things that trigger me to be extremely upset that others don't seem to mind much. What seems like such a small thing to neurotypical folks (or differently wired neurodivergent folks) feels like nails on chalkboard to me, almost physically painful. Until more recently I didn't understand why I have this duality of being messy sometimes but hyper specific about certain things (mostly sensory things) and just beat myself up internally for having big feelings about things I wasn't supposed to. It actually hurt a lot of my relationships over the years because I would stuff my feelings down and call myself unreasonable/illogical and just suffer in silence until a blowup. I don't know how to break this pattern, but realizing I have autism feels like the first big step towards being kinder to myself and becoming more mindful of my triggers in order to communicate them better. If anyone has any advice that has worked well to help you manage your needs with AuDHD, please let me know what has helped you! I'm hoping to get better at managing masking, communication, and figuring out how I feel and naming those feelings. Final thought for anyone else struggling with ADHD: In addition to therapy and medication, the app Finch has helped changed my life. It gives me the gamification I need to complete my daily tasks and gives me goals I wouldn't have thought to give myself (ie: drink water, take a stretch break, wash your face, brush your teeth). I already love videogames and have played them my whole life, but this is the first version of a gamified self-help app that actually works for my brain's needs. I had a 40+ day streak when I first started just because I wanted to check in every day and get credit for getting out of bed and taking care of myself in order to buy the little furniture and clothes for my birb. Super cute app, cannot recommend enough, and even the free version felt extremely customizable and helpful.
@elizabethsavage4656
@elizabethsavage4656 Жыл бұрын
Burn out & Bore out at the same time... YES!!! Ive gound they generally hit after BIG changes in my life thaf required alot of planning/energy/mental use (ending University, change of job & city, after my Wedding, birth of a child, loss of a parent after sickness etc etc).
@Lesli12220
@Lesli12220 12 күн бұрын
This is excellent. One detail that has been left out is there is also the diagnosis as Gifted Learner which can cause traits very similar to either ADHD and/or autism, but may not be actually not either. If that at all makes sense. I think that, at 70, I have forced myself to use certains tools to use these conditions. But it is quite lonely, not knowing others in the same situation. (Yes, alcohol was an issue.) There was no information like this when my kids were young, it is SO fortunate to have Samdy offering this information, and in a non-judgemental way.
@DShaw1776
@DShaw1776 7 ай бұрын
Thank you! ❤ I’m 52 now and I have figured this out about myself in the past few years with loss and illness of parents and pandemic throwing me out of routine and out of life 😂. I’m working on an official diagnosis currently but I’m glad that I now know why I am me. Of course at 52, it’s a little going through the stages of grief and bounced back and forth then cycle through again etc… but I’m hopeful ❤
@kallieparrish1056
@kallieparrish1056 Жыл бұрын
Thank you! I’m 21 and just found out I’m on the spectrum but I’ve known that I had add (adhd) for years and got diagnosed with anxiety freshman year of college and it’s nice to have clarity but it’s so scary so thank you for having this video ❤❤❤
@backyardonorchard9420
@backyardonorchard9420 Жыл бұрын
For me I think the autistic burnout overwhelms everything else including the ADHD. It all gets put on the back burner. Nothing that would usually motivate me and feed the ADHD beast even exists. It's like the brain shuts all drive down in an attempt to cope and come back to level ground. At this stage I become incredibly inward focused. This happens during both meltdown and burnout. As the brain comes around, and the ADHD motor starts running again, I go back to the diverse brain food that makes life so fun. How long I stay in that state will depend on whether it is burnout or just meltdown.
@denisev.2525
@denisev.2525 4 ай бұрын
Thank you Sam! You're the best! Loved: [You need to accept yourself for who you are and not feel like you're a failure]. "So the solution is to not be bad at stuff. A part of letting other people help you is releasing yourself from this self-constructed mental prison and just think about what you could achieve, what you could do with your life if you focused on your natural strengths and talents instead of worrying about the things you're not good at and suddenly clinging to the myth of Independence."
@drivers99
@drivers99 Жыл бұрын
The times I could stay on top of things best were due to having a checklist but this makes me realize why I resist getting back to using a checklist
@lynnboartsdye1943
@lynnboartsdye1943 Жыл бұрын
Just grappling with this idea of being more than one part of the spectrum is a bit of a mind fuck. I was lucky to be diagnosed autistic at age 2 which had moderately help me understand myself and practice self compassion but it never made me feel enough for the people around me. Even when I put all of my mental energy into something like an essay or other boring academic field and have every bit of confidence that I did everything right I find out later that I missed things. It was only when the idea of also being adhd was brought up to me that made me reevaluate things about my performance. How I’m really great at focusing on certain tasks and not others or having to self accommodate the environment or time so I’m in the “mode” for whatever I’m doing. Or being so tired after being out and about that I just take the afternoon to sleep. I’m still trying to not beat myself up over that. The suggestion of externalizing yourself to give yourself compassion is one I wanna try. I’m not diagnosed adhd but am trying to not think of having it as “I am autistic and adhd” and more so “hey there’s more to my brain that’s affecting my life than I first thought and I should look into resources relating to that” I hope the rest of my neurodivergent siblings are staying hydrated and treating yourselves, you’re all doing your best 💜💜💜
@koopstakoop638
@koopstakoop638 Жыл бұрын
Yes! I’ve experienced burnout and boredom simultaneously , which apparently to a therapist, looks a lot like what people with BPD experience in terms of the feeling of emptiness (feeling extremely overwhelmed yet wanting to do stuff)
@tortoiseperson
@tortoiseperson Жыл бұрын
It's so boring and lonely to feel exhausted and overwhelmed so that you can't do anything, go anywhere or see anyone.
@ModMINI
@ModMINI Жыл бұрын
Talked to my therapist about BPD for this reason. She said that it is very, very rare for people to actually have BPD. One component of which for diagnosis is an extreme attachment anxiety, which I don't have at all, and neither do most autistic people, I would imagine. She said autism / ADHD (AuDHD) is far more common.
@koopstakoop638
@koopstakoop638 Жыл бұрын
@@ModMINI I never had any abandonment or attachment issues. The only time I’ve ever not felt good about being abandoned was when an ex broke up with me out of nowhere on the day we were planning to go get Chinese food for a date. And also when my spouse cheated (2x) and I couldn’t trust him to go anywhere. It was more about hyper vigilant than abandonment though. Other that that, I love love love being alone and having me time in my own space and would be perfectly happy with only the tv on and rubbing my feet together! 🤣
@SMarie11
@SMarie11 Жыл бұрын
Interestingly women with autism are mostly misdiagnosed with BPD I think that’s what happened to me, I haven’t got a diagnosis yet for autism but was diagnosed with BPD, but when I met my husband who has high functioning autism he said “are you sure you don’t have autism” It’s the first time I ever thought about it and now I really do believe I am on the autistic spectrum and not BPD
@oceanakelley465
@oceanakelley465 5 ай бұрын
I've definitely had bore out and burn out at the same time. I've ridden those waves quite a few times.
@Lindsay_On_Fire
@Lindsay_On_Fire 3 ай бұрын
This is my second video. I’m watching of yours. I had to pause it, and leave a comment. I have been hanging onto every word and learning so much. So thank you. You had already made me chuckle several times, but when I looked up at the screen and saw it say there’s a cat in the curtains, I died laughing. So thank you again. Hands-down, I have both. I’m 43, perimenopausal, and I am learning like I have never learned before. OK, back to the video. 😂❤
@Sephini
@Sephini Жыл бұрын
Keeping it brief because I'm actually having an autistic burn-out this weekend while still trying to prevent a "bore-out". But I remember how both at the same worked for me. At the beginning of the pandemic I was in a literal burnout for unrelated reasons (mostly due to moving). Not in the mood to do anything, not even things I liked, because I just didn't have the energy for it. So I became very under-stimulated to the point of quite literally shutting down. I functioned like a PC that you left on while doing nothing with it, eventually it just goes into sleep mode. But I can assure you, I certainly didn't feel like I was waking up from a nice nap afterwards. Which brings me back to now, just trying to some little things at a slow pace. Moving that mouse a little bit to keep the PC awake but no heavy gaming or it might overheat. (I'm very used in using computers as imagery if that wasn't obvious)
@KatRalls
@KatRalls Жыл бұрын
Thank you for making this video. Diagnosed with ADHD in April 2022 and Autism in December 2022 - I am aged 40. So little signposting of anything helpful or supportive after diagnosis. Videos like this help so much to make me feel less alone and start to accept myself - plus practical advice. I have had to quit my job due to what I now know is Autistic burn out and need to get back on track for my family and so I can work/earn again.
@wolf1066
@wolf1066 Жыл бұрын
The bit about using alcohol to cope with stimuli hits home - I was undiagnosed so didn't think of it in those terms at the time but in hindsight...
@TheStephanieGilbert
@TheStephanieGilbert 8 ай бұрын
OMG, the “somebody sitting there and watch me do it” completely hit home. I know it’s weird and creepy. But that works magic for me. That is why I’m on Focusmate. 🙏🙏🙏 Thanks for mentioning that.
@michellebattles3491
@michellebattles3491 5 ай бұрын
Thank you for skipping the glasses on this video. I don't think there's anything wrong with your glasses they are lovely, but the circular light that reflected off them was incredibly distracting. I think you could also soften the light somehow, like maybe putting a thing of cardboard or some other maybe less solid filter in front of the light. Your makeup does look lovely, but I dont' think it is necessary unless of course it is dopamine inducing to put it on. I'm writting this while the video is playing, and I just want to say that when you played the exciting music my heart did a happy dance and my lips are totally smiling now. lol. .. and now at 17:32 I'm crying. lol. Have you heard of Radical Compassion, by Tara Brach? I'm currently listening to her book, and her voice is wonderfully calming as well. :) ROFL... OMG I'm loving your outtakes at the end! Good job! I'm subscribing to your content.
@christopherrosado8420
@christopherrosado8420 Ай бұрын
I have definitely experienced both and I didn't understand why. At 29 years old and researching on KZbin since 10th grade now I see that I may have Autism & ADHD. I do know I have OCD tendencies. I have had a very traumatic and isolating childhood so I know I have CPTSD also. I have been trying to come up with a balance to get my life back on track. I haven't gotten a professional diagnosis but do very much desire one. These videos have helped me come up with routines that work better for me. I am refining them so I could enjoy my family and make new meaningful relationships. It would be nice to meet a good lady to love, marry, have kids, and be happy. This has been a life long struggle that I want to conquer before I ever get married. For the sake of me and them it would be better. What I have learned through these many hard years is how determined I am not not give up on the possibility of things being better despite so many set backs. At least now the puzzle isn't as confusing as 8-10 years ago. Now my history makes sense
@Crazydude10001
@Crazydude10001 4 ай бұрын
This was extremely helpful I need more
@novlce
@novlce 7 ай бұрын
I've known for a looooong time that I have ADHD. Like years, but have only just started my diagnosis. I'm 6 months into a 3 year wait for diagnosis. This specific video has literally just made me realise that I'm autistic too... wow. Mind-blowing moment right here
@HotCalicocoa
@HotCalicocoa Жыл бұрын
My most recent case of Bore-out and Burn-out came after I got food poisoning and ran out of my medication. I was exhausted and overwhelmed and struggling to manage my body while at the same time I had been doing nothing but being sick for days and my craving for novel things was so high that even watching KZbin, or scrolling through social media was boring because it didn't feel new enough.
10 ай бұрын
Thank you very much for this video, and all of your other cideos too. I am 46 years old, I came to realise I have AuDHD a couple of months ago. I've been in an autistic burn-out and also I identify I am "bore-out" too. It's been dificult, as it is for everyona, but this journe of self knowing and self discovering it's been very liberating.
@Lenticloudular
@Lenticloudular Жыл бұрын
It's like listening to a spokesperson for me, listening to you. Exercising, music, bore out etc!
@melissalynn3776
@melissalynn3776 Жыл бұрын
Wow! This is me!! I'm in a really awful place! And, I don't know how to execute any of this! What now? I'm newly audhd diagnosed, well a few years, in my 40s. This on top of bpd, mdd, GAD, sad, ptsd... God it's often an awful existence. Help. Oh! And, very recently diagnosed w hypothyroidism. I feel too weak and too broken. OH! And, I love the bloopers at the end! Great touch!
@crowkraehenfrau2604
@crowkraehenfrau2604 Жыл бұрын
LOVE your workbook... heartfelt thanks from a 64 year old selfdiagnosed autistic woman from Germany. It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time! Thank you! 😊
@tcgrady2000
@tcgrady2000 Жыл бұрын
This was very helpful! I've learned so much about ADHD and ASD, but there's very little practical help on on how to cope day to day.
@m4rt_
@m4rt_ Жыл бұрын
I'm not sure if I have ever had a burn out... though I don't fully understand it... I think I have had a bore out... if it is what I think it it. Some days I have just been bored at everything, and just spend the entire day on KZbin jumping from video to video, and starting to watch a different video when I begin to feel bored... and usually keeping the tab with the video open in case I want to watch it in the future. Also, it feels like I have experienced more of that after 2020 and even more when I finished school. (I am not diagnosed with anything, I just suspect that I might have ADHD or Autism, or maybe both.)
@adamwarner4172
@adamwarner4172 17 күн бұрын
Being life and soul and then feeling burnt out for a week…that resonates. I am 58, one son diagnosed adhd, i have been trying to fit myself into an adhd diagnosis but this audhd seems to make more sense to my inner conflict and duality. Life is a real nightmare. Thanks for your videos. Start of another journey?
@natekneeland8862
@natekneeland8862 9 ай бұрын
I am now currently going through both ADHD & Autistic burnout, thank you for encapsulating that for me 🙏 I know I am not alone
@wendee618
@wendee618 9 ай бұрын
This is so relatable. I am diagnosed autistic and self diagnosed ADHD. My hubby is also AuDHD and we work well together in helping each other as well.
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