Toluca Lake - Motif

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"Motif" from Breath In Passing by Toluca Lake
2018
Dedicated to the memory of Nick, a light in the dark he couldn't escape, and Zack, my best childhood buddy. I thought of both of you so much in writing this.
Footage by RomulusUAV @ www.romulusuav...
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I remember the way all the lines on your face lit up when you saw I was coming back, and I can still see the days that we wasted away on your smile fade when you saw that I had left. I keep splitting my skull to try and sort between fiction and fact. I kept the thought in the way; hope you know I'd give my life for you to have yours back.
I don't want you to say that you're leaving me now. I don't think I can take another light going out. I don't want you to say that you're leaving.
I'm on the edge again to come to terms with the lack of facts. I was afraid when I left you all alone, but I can see you staring back. There's life in death, and breath in passing. You round the knife edge that I've been grasping at. I wish that you'd come back.
I don't want you to say that you're leaving me now. I don't think I can take another light going out, and it gets hard to say what I've been missing.
I can't see a past without you, and I just can't erase all the setbacks. I need something to believe; some way to bloom.
Saw you in my dream last night and you said, "You remind me of myself at my worst right now. You can't see the forest for the flora you've been cutting down. I'm gone but I know you have what you need, so be strong for me?" I can be strong. I can be strong... yeah, I can be strong.