Personality Disorder | My Diagnosis Explained

[@saraannej.j.1586]

I grew up with a mom with borderline+++, it was difficult. Her illness turned for the worse when I was about 13. Her unpredictable intense rage, the intense love, how she’d defend me and be 100% in my corner in one moment, but hurl hatred the next, the emotional manipulation with her apologies - her guilt and anguish (self harm), only for the cycle to repeat again and again, it just left me... completely shattered. The illness created highs and lows that were, unbearably light and desperately heavy. She’d have this sympathetic, charming mask to put on in front of acquaintances or new friends. In short bursts, to them, she was beautiful, put-together and lovely. In private, the monster (her disorder) would appear. It took me a while to accept it and move on. Forgiveness was hard work, but that was something I needed to do for me. To this day, we have not been able to rebuild trust though. It’s like the illness made my mom into a redhot pan, that burned anyone that got too close. Since I was the child, the pan could at any moment simply just manifest on my skin - sizzling it. While it’s not the pan’s fault, I still have marks for life. Is it fair to blame the pan for being hot? No. Is it fair to blame me for not wanting to touch it again? No. I think all people can change, and treatment has been fantastic for us. But real trust needs to be earned back over time. Today we have a different - lighter - relationship. I care for my mom. I understand more about why the illness triggered, how our family’s economic situation left it untreated, and I made my peace. I just want to say it’s okay to protect yourself too. You’re not horrible if you choose to keep a little distance. You’re not perpetuating stigma or prejudice against helpless mentally ill sufferers. You’re maybe surviving abuse. It’s human to put on some oven mitts!

[@ToneSabro]

It's so sad that illnesses like these also can have such devastating effects on the people around.. I so understand both sides, and get that this situation is horrible. I'm so sorry you had to live like that, and glad you're both getting help now. ♥️

[@kristianmalde9279]

I know exactly the feeling of «unbearable lightness and desperately heavy» walking around on eggshells... it is exhausting. But with treatment many recover, so have hope!

[@timberwolvesxx7250]

omg you just described my mum, except mine refuses to believe she has an issue. completely denies any of the cruel things she has said, or any of the physical or mental abuse. I still love her, she is my mum but I try to avoid her as much as I can. when the phone rings and I see her name come up I feel sick. when i talk to her its just small talk, I never talk at personal level. My sister sees a psychologist. My brother is on anti-depressants and has anxiety, they don't talk anymore.

[@ToneSabro]

Sending love. ♥️ Know how difficult this can be..

[@saraannej.j.1586]

@@timberwolvesxx7250 I’m so sorry to hear - it’s a horrible disease with some truly horrifying consequences borne by those near the person with illness. I’m hoping you work through it! We’re many who are the children of borderline mothers, each of us with deep wounds and damage, You’re not alone!

[@rycbarm666]

I am so glad you have chosen to live. This post touched me so deeply.

[@ToneSabro]

Sending lots of love ♥️

[@sarahd139]

Thank you for sharing. I'm also diagnosed with BPD and I can totally relate to you. 🙂 Thank you for being you

[@shaneanderson638]

It’s so weird that I found your channel looking for a white ink tattoo and find someone that’s like me. Not many people actually understand the way I feel and I completely understand everything your saying. I have felt most of the things you’re saying. Love the videos, love your tattoos, and love that you’re so open about your mental health. Keep living your life one day at a time.

[@Nick.Barnes]

what a great message in this. its really sad to learn about people who are suffering from something they have no control over and it takes them many years of their life to decide to ask for help... and even sadder to the ones who never get to that conclusion and hurt themselves or take their life first. this is an inspiring talk and hopefully anyone watching this suffering will take away one thing from it which is to seek help, i'm very glad you did!

[@jeanettestrmmen4610]

We are all human. Even if the illness is not your fault, the real life consequences it generates for those around and near you may linger. I don’t think it’s fair, but reality is that no one is entitled to understanding and forgiveness. It may feel harsh, but on the other side, there could be real hurt, open wounds and scar tissue. Your pain does not make that pain your disease has caused in others any less. I think accepting that is also important in getting better.

[@ToneSabro]

You're right. Absolutely. But I think at least trying to understand and forgive each other is the best way to go, no matter what. I believe we do become better people and more open minded in separating the person from the action, in a way that doesn't judge their whole character. That said, of course one is always responsible for ones actions, and that should have consequences! But one doesn't rule out the other.. Even though some of my ill behavior from earlier was probably due to my illness, that doesn't mean I don't have to take responsibility for those actions. I can only hope that people don't judge my whole character based on bad decisions I've made, and I'll do the same for others. ♥️ Thank you for your comment!

[@jeanettestrmmen4610]

Yes I think it’s always best to be open minded, it definitely makes the world better! Sadly, it’s often easier to do that with “strangers” than with people you have a long history with. Because it’s more likely that shared history contains both real, repeated trauma and deep emotions. In cases like that, understanding, trust and forgiveness needs to be earned back - for all those involved. We are just the sum of our actions and experiences, after all.

[@jeanettestrmmen4610]

Thank you for sharing this by the way! I’m glad I saw this and that you are better 🙏

[@Faen71]

Takk for åpenheten. Det betyr mye og hjelper oss andre (hvertfall meg) som dealer med mye av det samme. Vet at det koster å stå i det og være så åpen, men det er veien til å ha det bedre. Sterkt og modig.

[@kristinnymoensaether760]

Takk for at du deler. Personlighetsforstyrrelser er fortsatt tabu, og kunnskapsløshet gjør at folk settes i bås. Tusen takk. ❤️

[@ToneSabro]

Takk skal du ha! ♥️✨

[@mruthcowboy4991]

Thanks so much for sharing. You are good at explaining. I struggle with depression and your willingness to work to help others is VERY inspiring. My diagnosis is different but I still related to your battles and incites. THANKS. You are stronger than you know.

[@ToneSabro]

You are so kind. Thank you. 🌹

[@lorinizzola1422]

Girl I've dealing with this my whole life. Thanks for clearing things up for me.

[@shaneanderson638]

I also have trouble everyday with anxiety and depression that come from 26 years in the Army. I tried working after retirement but that didn’t work. Luckily I have retirement and disability to live on. It’s not a comfortable life but I make it one day at a time. I love this video. Life happens one day at a time.

[@jamieo2147]

I too have bpd and PTSD ( they often come together). I recently had EMDR therapy to deal with my trauma symptoms and it's don't wonders for my emotional stability at the same time. There's still ups and downs of course but not as uncontrollable or as severe. I feel more able to resist the impulse to act out my destructive thoughts. Well worth looking into.

[@ToneSabro]

That's great to hear! 😊 Psychodynamic therapy worked for me, combined with me educating myself and reading a lot of academic books on psychiatry and especially on personality disorders. And ofc time and practice.. 🌹

[@ramanuzdas4773]

It takes courage and strength to speak up about these issues despite facing them yourself. This video definitely gonna help me fight my evils. Keep up the good work and stay strong always.

[@ToneSabro]

🖤🖤

[@todestriebhs]

Just a simple comment to support this channel and spread some love .Hugs and much love to you. 💜💚

[@errilhl]

Very personal and well spoken :) I like the way you're open about your struggles. The thing I don't get (well, I get that it's a feeling, a problem for you, and perhaps 100% true) is the stigma and shunning by friends and family - I dunno, I've lived with "alternative" people from age... 17-18 or so, and I've always had friends with issues and problems and diagnosis and different opinions and orientations and more - so every time I see and hear people talking about how their life is bad due to reactions from friends and family, I get "but... that's not how it should be" - and I know it IS like that, it's just so foreign for me. Anyway, I'm ranting. Didn't mean to do that. Kudos to you, both for the video, and for changing your perspective. Also: incredibly cute dog :D

[@saraannej.j.1586]

errilhl I can only speak for myself, but borderline disorder is a serious illness which can severely damage those who love the person who is ill. It often gets portrayed or perceived as stigma/abandonment by the person who is ill, but may well also be survival. I hope this shed some light from the other side :-)

[@errilhl]

@@saraannej.j.1586 Oh, I know that. And I get it. My ex had similar diagnosis, and it was exhausting, and partly the reason we broke up. But that doesn't mean you stop being their friend, and she still is. It's not that it can't be too hard, ofc, I'm just saying that it shouldn't be the reason to give up on people. Take a break, be honest, say you need a bit of alone time etc.

[@CuriousOne75]

Had my own fair share with depression for the longest time. I started to become better when i realized that we are ALL damaged goods (no exeption). Close to nobody is leaving childhood without any form of Trauma. And you know what? Our quirks are what make us interesting. Anxiety can be overcome by realizing that we're living in a Eternal now. The past is gone ... and the future comes soon enough. Dont beat yourself up over it. Delve into Mindfulness training and meditation... that helped me a LOT.

[@rycbarm666]

I'm struggling with most of this also but also physically sick. Congestive heart failure I will never get better and my heart is so damaged. Cant get on transplant list either. And now next week going into surgery for cancer. I am trying rel hard right now not wanting to die

[@ToneSabro]

This is so tragic and I'm so sorry. 💔 It's not fair.. I understand that must be a really hard situation to be in. I hope you have family and friends around you who can tell you how amazing they think you are. And I'm hoping for the best for you! Thank you for your comment. ♥️✨

[@rycbarm666]

@@ToneSabro well thank you so much. You give me inspiration. I have 3 wonderful kids. But my husband of 20 years decided to leave because I have been too sick for too long and he was tired of me being sick. I still have to live with him. Impossible situation. That's one of the reasons of my depression. His voice oh anyway. Thank you so much for your kind words. Oh and love your tattoos I'm starting mine soon . You are a very strong woman and what you do helps so much. Your voice is so calming .just much love from Texas. Sorry so long I ramble on ❤

[@AeonZhang]

Jessica Boone 🤗🤗🤗

[@ToneSabro]

I can only imagine.. 🖤 Thank you again for your comments and compliments. Wish you all the best. Stay strong! 🌹✨

[@beckylarsson393]

Bästa videon enligt mig! Inspirerande att höra hur du har/försöker vända på saker och ting. Och väldigt viktigt att folk lägger upp såna här klipp för att ta bort stigmat. Jag är själv bipolär, har ångest och enligt läkarna en personlighetsstörning, och jag har känt av stigmat så pass mycket att jag aldrig berättar detta för någon. Så tack för att du sprider awareness! Hoppas att det går bra att jag skriver på svenska, jag bodde i sandefjord i några år och lärde mig att norrmän är grymma på att förstå svenska 🙂

[@ToneSabro]

Takk for en så fin kommentar! 💜 så hyggelig å høre at du likte videoen min. Forstår godt hvordan det kjennes å slite med dette.. Håper på det beste for deg! Del gjerne videoen om du vil hjelpe! 😊

[@a.w.3358]

I feel you. Send you lots of love , you beautiful soul ❤❤❤

[@leoapocalyptica]

Hi, Tone. I'm from COLOMBIA, and Iike your videos. 😉 La pandemia nos ha enseñado lo importante de la salud mental. Creería que todo el mundo nececita revisar su salud mental.

[@crmichaelcr]

You are incredible and thank you so much for sharing your story wow I think you are a unique person and so beautiful 🌹I’m from Costa Rica 🇨🇷

[@ToneSabro]

Thank you! 🌹

[@AeonZhang]

Hi Tone🌟 I too have mental health issues. I know what it’s like. Thank You. 🌟🤗🤗🤗🌟 🌟🖤🖤🖤🌟 🌟♥️♥️♥️🌟

[@misselisabeth000]

Både som medmenneske og psykologstudent vil jeg takke deg for at du lagde denne videoen! Du snakker godt og nyansert om personlighetsforstyrrelser. Jeg kan se at du snakker fra et sensitivt sted, som samtidig er håpefullt.

[@4505rockgirl]

I have BPD too,this is very hard for us and for people that surround us

[@ToneSabro]

It's hard, but we'll get well :) 🌹

[@4505rockgirl]

@@ToneSabro sure!! ❤️❤️❤️

[@dimitrimuller8397]

You live in a nice place. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Did you try to do yoga to control your feelings and improve your flexibility ?

[@lorinizzola1422]

I've passed out because of having a panic attack, one time I passed out and didn't wake up for hours and ended up at the hospital

[@ToneSabro]

That's horrible. 😖 I've had similar experiences.. Hope you're doing better. ♥️

[@lorinizzola1422]

Doing a little better I guess

[@barbadolid5170]

The high standards thing happens to me. I also end up not doing it. And it brings me terribly down.

[@ToneSabro]

I know.. I hate it. Keep fighting it! We'll get better. 🌹

[@toll90]

synes du forklarer ting på en utrolig god måte. har ikke noe av dette selv. men etter å hørt dine pocast fra starten av osv. har jeg fått en del mer forståelse ang dette

[@ToneSabro]

Takk! Det betyr mye å høre. 😊 Setter stor pris på det!

[@dhirendrasamdhan7299]

swty-d tingz u wer discussin r all normal,it sounds like u r normal n i tink der ain aniting wrong mentally wih u,u r perfect jus d way r,bt if u tink d tingz u wer discusin r like u said unstable den u shud wrk on d problematic areas,bt plz b patient n tolerant wih urself n rememba rome wasnt built in n day,much luv

[@GunnarRolandTjomlid]

❤️

[@jaycee1169]

😭😭😭

[@Dogziilla]

Hello @To呢三日I我爱上diagnosed with schizophrenia他很later 特别 哦我爱上diagnosed with替我other disorders。 10:33

[@bob12474]

You're not crazy for being who you are as an individual. We've been pulled in so many directions, away from our true self, forced to conform, used and abused by a system that takes advantage of us until we're completely burned out or just forgot who we are as a person because our souls have been taken away by totalitarians who control us like sheep. Then no wonder why suicide is on the rise or people revolt. We have to be strong and stand for our freedom of existence and beliefs. Stop being oppressed and live the best life we can cause no one else cares if we're sad, depressed, or jump off a bridge apparently, since we're just a number and statistic for them. They're going to say that you are the problem, that you have mental disorder and they'll drug you with pills so the pharmaceutical companies keep making billion of dollars. You start living your happiest life when you stop caring about other's expectations. Stay strong, believe in yourself, fallow your hearth and don't listen to their brainwashing crap.

[@g-a-l7350]

você é uma mulher bonita, mas parece muito mais bonita com cabelo preto 💜

[@tonymalone4187]

Ime a person who have suffered all my life 70 years and still do with Depression medication helps, I hope you find Peace

[@ToneSabro]

🌹♥️ same to you

[@colorart1911]

okay. you has a dog so cute. i have a cat :))

[@olemartinsen408]

Takk for at du tar ansvar, god bedring! Så forskjellig fra annet man leser på nett om personer med borderline. F.eks. Stemmer dette? «Before you become a part of the issue, Borderlines may seem like constant victims of unfortunate circumstance or other people’s selfishness.The pain they endure on behalf of the world around them appears unfathomable. But eventually, you end up being on the side of that unfathomable world. You learn that anything you say can be misconstrued. Your behavior is persistently understood through their feelings, but anything you feel is the result of your baggage. It doesn’t matter how much you apologize, or how many times you remind them that you never intended harm. They are not satisfied until they’ve convinced you that you really did intend harm. If they intuitively sense even an ounce of frustration in you, they will take it upon themselves to attribute all your ‘malicious behavior’ to your apparent hostility. You may hear them lament that they are overlooked, underappreciated, abandoned and uncared for - yet no amount of gratitude and attention ever seems to be enough. They can be incredibly sweet and caring, then treat you like their worst enemy.» medium.com/@XanJ/recounting-the-wounds-surviving-a-relationship-with-someone-who-has-borderline-personality-3e73e5285b15

[@ToneSabro]

Dette er som jeg leser det en persons oppfatning av en annen persons sykdom, det vil alltid være veldig subjektivt. Som jeg nevner i videoen også så er alle forskjellige.. Men det kan sikkert stemme med opplevelsen til denne personen, men det blir også veldig feil å påstå at dette stemmer som en generell beskrivelse av en med borderline. (In English: This is obviously written about one persons experience of another persons illness, and it is of course very subjective. As I mentioned in the video; we're all different individuals.. I'm sure to the person who wrote this that this is an accurate description of what he or she experienced being with someone with BPD, from their perspective. But I would not consider this description to be suitable for all people with BPD.