The Harsh Reality about Personal Projects in the Long Run

[@meatsupplies5282]

I was here to get learnt but I just got an existential crisis.

[@PilferpupCartoons]

LOL!!! So true! HAHAHA

[@chamba4987]

Same

[@Bokator2]

It did get a bit depressing halfway through lol

[@alexandravargova7578]

I wish I could see this video few years earlier, its better when you know how it really is, so you know all "the rules" and then you can better consider all pros and cons. Its huge difference between school and the real life, but this is true to every subject that anybody decides to study xD

[@dublinphotoart]

People keep going! When you have a passion project you kind of have no choice 🤣 ... all your efforts will bring benefit to yourself and many others if you genuinely attend to it... besides these types of projects can always be broken down into smaller and more manageable mini-projects... make make make... share share share 😎

[@Beanie84]

This was a really good talk. The realities of life and aging aren't discussed that much in the art and animation community. We're so focused on improving and what it takes to get a job and glorifying all the sacrifices that have to be made. But, you're right, no matter how gung-ho we are in the beginning of our creative journeys, time catches up with us whether we like it or not. I'm reading about a lot of artists my age and even younger who are burning out already. Will our generations have older veteran animators still actively working (either for a studio or for themselves) or will we burn out before our prime? I've found that I have more direction now than I did in my 20s, but my stamina isn't quite what it used to be. I still manage all-nighters when my art mojo is fired up, but I can feel the effects of those sleepless nights more now. I have to be precious with my time and health, and be available for my family (my husband happens to be an artist, too!). It's important to weigh our priorities outside of what the industry demands of us or what a pro artist thinks we should do. I appreciate you being open about your life experience and sharing your knowledge with us!

[@dublinphotoart]

Art and creativity don't cause burnout... that is purely work stress. I'd rather work in a coffee shop and do my own animation projects than work in "the industry". 🤣🤷🏼‍♂️

[@Beanie84]

@@dublinphotoart Haha I feel that. Theoretically, I'd love the experience of working with a team on a big studio project, but making my *own* dream ideas happen and collaborating with close friends on their projects is incredibly fulfilling.

[@EscapeCondition]

Yes as a middle aged dev i can confirm everything in this video lol

[@nikolaoskaratasakis6307]

Its ok if you will not animate that much as you get older if you are your own boss and create amazing things by leading others or learning a new discipline. No need to do only one thing forever even thought you love animation once you are good enough for what you feel is good enough maybe you can grow to something deeper its your journey to find what that is and evolve.

[@CrownePrince]

This has been my whole mood of turning 30 so far. I've gotten tired of fighting and want to enjoy life more. My struggle these days is mostly choosing want to do with my time on a limited budget... and trying to not beat myself up if drawing fan art is what I feel like doing rather than tackle (again) the immense difficulty of creating truly great original worlds + characters.

[@YumegakaMurakumo]

Do what makes you happy. And stop worrying about age! 30! Damn that's young! lol 😆 I have to keep telling myself this sh!t too because it's so easy to get caught up in, not to mention so g*ddamn depressing when you go look at the mirror and ask yourself, *"How the f@ck did I get so ducking OLD???"* 😭 We are so obsessed with the fear of death when in actuality he could come get us no matter what age! 🤣 What we all need to do more is live in the moment and stop worrying about the future and missing the past. Enjoy the process and progress in the game we call life! 💜

[@eireannClover]

same here. Struggling to start a drawing career at 29 and getting encouragement but pushing through my inner wall to get things get real.

[@punkyagogo]

Just turned 30 and ironically, I've been stressing over what to do with the little time I have now, making my channel pretty much dead as a result lol

[@eireannClover]

@@punkyagogo hey you're not on your deathbed dude xD. We need to chill down a bit. I know we never know and I hope you the best in the future. But. Seriously. PS : I realize I interpreted your message as "the time I have left" but maybe I misinterpreted.

[@YumegakaMurakumo]

Stop stressing, stop worrying. Get off this platform and JUST GO AT IT.

[@AnAngelineer]

The big problem today is the unrealistic expectations we have for personal projects. They are compared to stuff done by million dollar companies, and therefore it has become basically impossible to "wow" anyone with a personal project. But on the other hand, it is also a "great filtering" : people who still do it and that are willing to compromise (on detail or story length) in order to pull it off over decades, are the ones that really care about their story being told. People who focus on technique and "wowing" people are often much more ego driven and don't have very interesting stories to tell! Basically, we have to take a clue from Tolkien, the most successful amateur ever : 40 years to make one project, that is "not that big" when compared to a multinational corporation's product. But a project with a soul.

[@gayusschwulius8490]

It's easier to "wow" people with personal stuff than ever before. Technology makes it increasingly easy to do stuff that only 20 years ago would've required a budget of millions. See, for example, programming, photography, filmmaking and animation. I still agree with your general statement, though.

[@AnAngelineer]

@@gayusschwulius8490 I fundamentally disagree. The top goes up faster than the bottom, especially as the budgets get greater and greater. You can't do Avengers or a Disney movie alone. Even though big projects like this result in wasted resources from their size, 200 people working at "40% efficiency" is still the equivalent of 80 people working at 100%. What you say is a myth that technology gurus have "educated" us to believe by making us focus on our relative empowerment as individuals (which is indeed true), rather than considering the big picture and actual competition on the global market. In short : technology might empower individuals, but it actually empowers the "big players" even more. I don't think you can purchase your own motion capture studio or an army of good actors for your projects as they do, now can you?

[@gayusschwulius8490]

@@AnAngelineer You're absolutely wrong. As technology progresses, the gap between "high end" and "low end" becomes smaller and smaller. Compare modern indie films with big budget productions. Now compare the difference between AAA movies and indie productions in the 80s. Doesn't the visual gap seem much smaller to you nowadays? You can buy cameras that produce 6K-footage nearly indistinguishable to professional Hollywood technology for a few thousand dollars now while you had no other choice but to shoot on an extremely expensive 35mm film camera in the 80s. Your alternative would've been to use a tape recording camera which looks like utter garbage and cannot be presented in a cinema. The professional sector, on the other hand, still uses 35 mm cameras to a large extent, so there was next to no improvement in the visual quality for the "big players" AT ALL in the last 30 years. Compare the visual effects independent people like Corridor Digital do with those used in professional cinema. Is there as much of a difference as there would've been 30 years ago when effects were either practical or drawn by hand? Same applies to 3D-animation. Compare an indie project like Agent 327 to a Pixar movie. Is the difference even noticeable at this point? Do you think someone would've been able to make an animated movie this close to a real production 20 years ago when Toy Story was released? Sure, the quality of professional productions noticeably increased as well, but nowhere near as much as the capabilities at the "lower end". Traditional animation? 50 years ago, Disney used extremely advanced custom built film-based machines to allow for fluid and good looking animation. Nowadays, professional 2D-Animators use the very same Adobe Flash that you could install on your PC tomorrow for a small fee and Toniko can create stuff that looks and feels like something that could run on TV. Game design? Today, the difference between a game like Banished (developed by one person) and the Anno series (developed by a huge studio) is next to impossible to tell visually speaking. Because the better graphics get, the less they are distinguishable from reality for the consumer and a huge difference in budget becomes less and less visible. Compare that to 1995 when no private person could've ever dreamed about creating a game like SM64. To assume that the "elite" profits more from technological advancements than the independent spectrum is absurd. Consumer technology always advances in a way that makes far more of an actual difference than professional technology.

[@AnAngelineer]

@@gayusschwulius8490 Whatever. Believe what you want. Or even better, prove me wrong by making that super awesome wowing project you implicitly claim is so easy to make. If technology is so simple, that should be no problem for you. Good luck.

[@gayusschwulius8490]

@@AnAngelineer It's not easy and I absolutely did not say that I'm capable of doing it - at least not in the field of animation. But it's EASIER than 30 years ago to make a project that is compareable to professional productions. Back then it was absolutely impossible. Nowadays, very talented people can do it, thanks to technology. I illustrated that with many real-world examples.

[@ausaskar]

I just build and paint little plastic tanks, I can't even imagine doing old school animation and spending a year on 1 minute of footage lol

[@axps4964]

Then you dont know nothing about animation.

[@axps4964]

@@sumuggum İts up to you.

[@jomesias]

Blender comes with grease pencil, I’m sure that can save you some time!

[@casvol5100]

"Sleep is for the weak, brah!" "Indeed, and I am weak. See ya."

[@mobi8046]

understandable, have a great day

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

I'm the worst, I sleep too much and also get nothing done.

[@dublinphotoart]

@@GoldenLeafsMovies 🤣🤣 i hear that. Believe me I have all kinds of tricks to trick myself into simply starting some work... i think once you start you're fine. For example i pretend i am my own employee and i am on the verge of sacking myself if i dont show up, result is I switch my brain off and just show up. My brain joins me later. You don't need super creative ecstatic motivation to start working on something you just need to switch your mind off until you get into it. Its kind of like warming up. 🤔

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

@@dublinphotoart I've tried to start various projects but I don't feel comfortable with my skill level yet so I just delete everything.

[@dublinphotoart]

@@GoldenLeafsMovies 🤣 i don't think we ever feel comfortable with our skill level! Doesn't matter. Don't delete. Keep in a folder somewhere. And most importantly practice finishing things! However small! 🤔

[@NCHProductions]

can relate but my "personal project" is more of doing an animation thats out of the norm from my channel's content. since I run my YT channel full time, I've to crank out animation every month. My channel has been unfortunately stereotype on a certain topic and my audience have been build base on that topic solely(unfortunately and the price to pay for audience growth). so usually, when I do some animation thats not base on what "my channel is known for" the animation will not do as well as the topic I do. Thats why everytime I start a "personal project" it means doing something thats not what I'm known for on my channel and put a gamble/risk on how sucessful the content will turn out when its released and if my audience even want to give it a chance to watch it at all. Alot of it on the line since it would mean I would be earning lesser ad-revenue/ the 1-2months put into working on a personal project is at a lost. While I still had the benefit of patreon to settle off some of my expenses in hiring folks to help me in audio and so on, it overall is disheartening when a personal project u put out dosent get well received just because you had unfortunately build an audience expecting you for only one particular topic you're known for. basically, its always a gamble when I start a personal project for my animation channel in hoping my audience receive it well, or else It will be a self-gratifying experience that I've done what I want to do I guess, if I've to pick the pieces of a failed one.

[@shadowspark]

Wow, that's incredibly heartbreaking. You are one of the top animators on the Internet though, I think leaking a little sample/preview, or even a simple announcement video/patreon inquiry would help gain support. (Vanripper did something similar prior to Helltaker, I believe.) I am certain the fans willing to support you will compensate for the people expecting the usual thing. And of course, your friends can also help get ppl excited about your ideas. Best of luck! I'm just a lowly consumer, but I will do what I can to help.

[@NCHProductions]

@@shadowspark yeah, recently did a teaser preview 3days ago. while its expected it didnt got much interest, the comments are hopeful. but I'm just going to not expect much out of it when its done heh.

[@omniscientomnipresent5500]

@@NCHProductions didn't expect to see you there. Do what you love !

[@kekeflipnote]

Really good talk Toniko !

[@LuanGarcia123]

OMG ITS KEKE FLIPNOTE OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH

[@pinkiepurplez]

@@LuanGarcia123 it do be kekeflipnote

[@colibri224]

I live in France and I've spent the past months (due to coronavirus lockdown) working on a personnal project I never thought I would have start this year or finish in such a high quality. I know this year suck but it really helped me be more productive.

[@YanisP5]

Same thing ! Aussi bonjour :P

[@shimmentakezo1196]

Cette année ne craint pas plus que les autres, et le pire reste à venir. Courage

[@mikey1036]

what is the project?

[@colibri224]

@@mikey1036 a webtoon

[@miai.769]

This was so stressful to watch and reaffirmed so many of my worries. I'm having a bit of an existential crisis but it actually is nice knowing I'm not alone in these feelings. Thank you for that.

[@DigitalDesignDude]

9:20 I'm actually relieved I'm not the only one who felt worried about not making an impact or even completely finishing a dream project before i die. I have so muh inspriation from all the movies, games, and stories i grew up with and i want to be able to use that inspiration in making entertainment for the current and next generation of people. I love this industry, and even though advances in technology is helping, great things still take a lot of time to make. Years worth. Hang in there those of you who also have the same goals. You have creative talent or are developing them for a reason and so long as you don't give up you WILL accomplish something awesome in LIFE.

[@mikepaulson69]

Thank you. I think I needed to read that.

[@lincolny2220]

I needed to see this too, thank you very much! All the best for your work and I hope you're having a great day today :)

[@R4C4N1]

This totally hit me in the right spots, I have taken animation as a way to leave a legacy when I die, asi it speaks a lot about me as the creator, the hard work, the hours, weeks, months spent on as little as 3 minutes of video, with the hopes that it will live forever, but the artist doesn't. And still, those 3 minutes are the best feeling ever. The success of accomplishing something challenging, the results of many nights without sleep, and the hopes for the next project, those feelings I wouldn't change for anything. I love your videos, and they have made me think a lot! Thank you

[@austinmcconnell]

I love these videos. Thanks, man.

[@teejayburger2136]

I love that Austin McConnell’s comment has been completely ignored. Gotta agree though, these are great videos!

[@VivekKumar-sl6pc]

@@teejayburger2136 hahahaha

[@Nugcon]

@@teejayburger2136 not anymore

[@zhengistasbolatov8480]

In the beginning of 2020 I've decided to make a video game. It's a beat'em'up with animated comics like visuals. And yes, I'm making it on my own (artist, age 30). So, I'm learning coding, I'm drawing all the assets and well, guess I'll have to find someone to write music for me. And I've estimated to have a demo version by the june, now 7+ month of production and I'm not even close to have a demo. They say when you start making games, begin with something small, and even tho my project is not a GTA6, it's quite ambitious game for a debut, but I'm confident in my skills. Sometimes I feel lack of motivation, sometimes it seems like there is no end to this work, sometimes I spend days trying to solve some coding issues losing sleep. In my 20's I could go without sleep for 50+ hours, now if I pass 24 hours my heart rate goes up so much I can hear it, I feel sick, and etc. Sometimes I feel lack of motivation, sometimes I really enjoy the process and feel proud of my accomplishments, sometimes it's very stressful, sometimes I fear that no one will like my game. It's an emotional roller coaster. But if someone asks me "why bother? Just make money" ... I'd answer "I just can't not making stuff, not drawing". (I just needed to let this out, thanks for the great video.)

[@shimmentakezo1196]

I'm like you, I try to make games for years now, and I've never been able to finish one, and even if I could, publishing is almost impossible

[@Yargasblarg1]

I feel you. As someone who has played video games all his life and started composing music a few years ago I've wanted to get into videogame music forever and always felt like it was too overwhelming. I've only recently found the motivation drive and self belief to start making a habit of learning game design and learning video game music each day. If you're looking for someone to make music for your game I'd be down to give it a look.

[@justinb9185]

hey man, I've on the same journey as you. I'm currently working on making a youtube channel plus a twitch channel to get my multimedia out there. The scope of what I've planned is bigger then anything I've attempted before and it's been tough hammering away at it every day. I would love the chance to play your game on my stream whenever you get it completed! Let me know if you want to keep in contact! If not, that's ok! I hope you keep on pushing.

[@zhengistasbolatov8480]

@@justinb9185 Thanks! Sure, that would be great)

[@harrysanders818]

@GateKeeperGames 12 lol, making a game is definetly NOT the easy part

[@ReallyRedPanda]

Thank you for taking the time to make this. It's a lovely change from the crashing sea of p0SiTiviTy and jUst d0 iT that is so very popular on youtube and social media. Of all the art disciplines that demand a hecking lot from the artist, animation is waaay up there. I'm struggling to think of anything as mind-numbingly tedious and perpetually challenging (probably some jobs in film editing). But yeah, the glamorous part of design and exploration is like 20% of the work, with 80% going to making that design move and breathe! It's good to keep this all in mind. There's a bias in colleges and here online that unwittingly leans towards the young! Full of pep! And free time! And zest and energy! And the positivity is a great booster for anyone who has doubts about starting. The reality of any personal project though is it's just...an awful lot of sameness, isolated focus, continuous learning, repetition, repetition, repetition etc. So yes, thank you for acknowledging this and the great advice at the end. Your first video on personal projects is exactly me at the start of anything - super enthusiastic. This one speaks more to the Me that has to actually follow through with my lofty ideas and trudge through the Work part!

[@DoctorPhileasFragg]

"Thanks for dumping all this on me Past Self, *you asshole*"

[@jamkat7785]

I've been experiencing a lot of what you're talking about. How serendipitous.

[@Vabbico]

This video is scary true to a lot of things that have been happening to me with personal projects. It's very informative tho, and I wish I had this advice like 7 years ago haha.

[@Eggbubble]

Another great video Toniko! Thanks for your effort on making these videos and talking about your experiences. And one that is so important! I think one of the most important things is that at the end of the day, work on what makes you happy. It will be difficult, and all the problems you mentioned, but if the personal project just makes others happy and not you (hence, the word PERSONAL project), it will just be too exhausting and a lot of times not worth it (for the practice, sure, but that could be anything else). Even if its things that many people won't like, even if people push you to try other things instead or do what you are doing but in a different style or way. As someone who is approaching their 30s and which has had lots of problems working on my personal projects: time is precious, pick your battles carefully, and be true to yourself (oh, and don't forget that one's opinions and likes can change with time. Embrace that change in your projects, even if its a very years-long one)

[@MissShembre]

As a working, self-employed artist approaching 30 in a few months, this is pretty spot on and incredibly insightful. I don't have the same energy anymore. I spent the last two years setting up all my passive income sources. I didn't think I'd be exhausted at this point, was trying to plan for carpal tunnel potentially, but I'm so glad I planned ahead. I had to stop taking commissions briefly to get some rest after some health issues that prevent me from working, and I didn't have to worry as much because I had 3 additional revenue streams. And in setting up my passive income, I discovered that I really love designing fabrics.

[@alexandravargova7578]

This is exatly all the things I struggle with and not only on personal projects, but also projects from work....I feel like I am just working and dont have time for anything...and at the end of the day you got paid so terribly, that you start realizing that even though you love this job you dont know if you should continue with animation at all.

[@dublinphotoart]

Surely turning something you love into a job is going to make you hate it... there are other types of jobs 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@notpumkin]

Really wish I realized these things sooner myself. I'm 27 and only recently started working. The anxiety of the lack of time due to work, and wasting said time feels overwhelming sometimes. I still don't know what I'm doing and procrastinating the things that I think I'd like to be doing. People really don't talk about this enough aside from the often useless "when I was your age I already had...". Very insightful video, despite just further validating my existential crisis.

[@hanafihikari]

This is like an advice from my future self. Gladly I'm just about to turn 19. I'm ultra grateful for your precious advices, have a peaceful life.

[@kazmos_art]

Younger artist: " Wdym? We just gotta crunch our time to finish it. " Toniko: " You wouldn't get it. " Tbh the older I get, the more I understand to plan my time better, for sleep, work, studies, etc. This vid did give me another kick to the head to really think things through.

[@3ngan498]

I can't give up now. It will look SO GOOD ...............

[@lfamvs5520]

I won’t deny that I gave up social interactions to work on my personal project. And I do believe my project has increased my strong feeling of loneliness that I used to struggle with. That said, I am so proud and happy that I’ve finished my project for as far as is possible right now and I also have a way better balance between fine tuning my project and working on my social interactions.

[@lfamvs5520]

Fast forward one yesr late and I completed my personal project, I also do an education in marketing & communication in order to seel my book to the target audience. Also social interactions are going better than ever before!

[@dublinphotoart]

Hey life is HARD with or without a passion project... 🤣 life is HARD even when its going well 🤣 but doing things in the hope it will help others will give your life and your efforts meaning regardless... 😎

[@shimmentakezo1196]

Life is less hard when you start it with a lot of money

[@YumeQueen]

this is very important tony , i had to abandon my project that I had huge expectations on it and making it more stressful than " fun" but I had to say to myself " you don't have the same energy on this project like before" you really talk things that is very relatable, you are really like an awesome teacher or mentor

[@jimjam528]

This comment made me think. I've got my own little project I'm working on-nothing too out there, just a painting I've had in mind. And I'm finding myself increasingly stressed about what was supposed to be something fun for me to make. Maybe it's time i take a step back and think about just what I want for this project.

[@PHlophe]

Laura and Yoana, your feelings are the combinations of how i feel at the moment. the level of mental stress is crazy and the fact that socially i am forced to pretend I am ok at all time. i wan to complete 12 paintings by next summer, its only this year ( 5 years later) that i have worked out how to organize the whole operation somehow. I am painting oil.

[@TheMagicPinecone]

This was a REALLY good video, dude, thank you for the advice! This video made me realize I have the mindset of someone in their like, early-to-mid 40's at the age of 16-going-on-17! Like damn... I'm so young but I feel so old, I just relate to your mortal worries so much for some reason! Especially "making an impact" and REALLY "wanting/needing to finish projects that take a lot of time and energy, but wanting to take your time" ... I have so much life ahead of me, but I want to do soo much, and achieve, not out there tasks, but... needing to be remembered after death... but at the same time, I'm very glad and thankful to have a life outside of my "work", like, I have a boyfriend that I spend time with once-to-twice a week, and I could never imagine something like.... neglecting him..... I want to have children with him, a family and a successful life... I just want to have a legacy! so I'm also glad I found out at a young age what I want to do in my life, and have already started the worldbuilding for my main project, which is just one project, with multiple stories and lots of potential!

[@MarkOakleyComics]

Beautiful video! All very true. Speaking as a guy who recently turned 50... Having poured more than half of that into the self-published comics projects, two things stand out: 1. Balancing work and life experience (out in the real world with real people) is vital; too little and your work nosedives because your experiential tank runs dry and you go crazy from isolation. Too much attention put toward the world, and your work nosedives because you still need to put in the hours. 2. Physical Health!!!! Artists must give this serious, serious attention! The sooner you start solving for this, the better off you'll be. -You must bake into your week walks, bike rides, stretching, different postures while working. If you do not, your work will suffer because leaning over a drafting board for 1000's of hours will destroy you. You cannot draw through a blinding headache, so learn to respect your body. If you do not, your body will rebel. Just wanted to chime in on top of the excellent points you made in this video. Thank-you!

[@PineappleSyrup]

I really needed this thanks. I've been struggling recently with whether all my personal projects were really worth pursuing because the amount time they took and because the amount of work they would take. And I've been fearing that eventually all my attention would be sucked into working on other people's projects and working for other people. The thing is though is I can't really find it in myself to give up on personal projects because it was the whole reason I started art in the first place. I think prioritizing stuff and learning a healthy balance would help with that. I've really just been trying to do to many things at once. I think it would be best to focus on one project at a time.

[@madisonroy735]

The idea of this video reminds me a lot of the point of Soul. It's easy for artists (or maybe anyone) to try to find fulfillment through work and be so focused on leaving something behind that we forget to experience the rest of life.

[@ayior]

I swear this is my favorite Art-Related channel at the moment, I find so much of myself in you but you're further ahead in life than me (I'm currently in Art School) so it all feels like really valuable advice~

[@Gdozr]

Talks like this are good. Thank you. I am reminded of Bob Ross's sign of on most of his shows - take care of yourself, and each other. Life's too short to burnout on things that you will never finish. Things that keep you alive, keep you motivated, those are the things that make a difference.

[@stringstorm]

There's also the inherent need to better the quality of your work even if its a personal project. Better quality needs better skills and better finances. Which is why I love the phrase 'keep your expectations low but your standards the same and you won't be disappointed'. Many people would see this as a negative phrase but I find it incredibly down to earth.

[@missspark4652]

This is the tough love I need to hear. I'm too excited to work on my first personal animation project and the insight this video gives is great!

[@bernardcsamm7100]

Thank u for the advice, we REALLY appreciate it

[@JazLyte]

All facts.Especially about the lack of hype and glamour in the bulk portion of every project. Feels like a cruel joke, but the hype will only truly return when you've finished. The distracting honeymoon hype you have for whatever your next thing is going to be will be dead before you're halfway through that one in the future too. If you can't get lost in the long trek through the Act 2 of your project, then work as fast as you can. Even something displaying the least of your skills will bring surprising amounts of validation, and will make you stronger at finishing things in general.

[@1967John_P]

This was an excellent video out of the thousands of “tutorials” of how to’s and tricks , this one showed me I’m not alone in the frustration of coming up with ideas and taking a thousand snapshots of a favourite animation to practice and have fun with only to scrap the whole idea one week later. Or I read some of my personal project ideas in my IPhone notes from a few years ago and I wanna slap myself for thinking of something so dumb and boring. And it would take 200 years to do with 2,001 animators . I’m 55 and have been a mailman rising early in the morning every day for 22 years and it’s not easy physically to have the energy and power to stay up late and watch TV or do big art projects. I call myself Leonardo Jr. because I have many watercolour, oil, coloured pencil paintings, fabric paint T-Shirts UNFINISHED like DaVinci had. You hit the nail on the head. I have so many ideas and goals that I have little time to do ALL of them. Health is of utmost importance and when I was younger working in an advertising agency we would have to FORCE ourselves to leave our computer just to get away from the screen take a walk around the block for fresh air and to clear my head and rest my eyes! It’s not a joke. I workout have my own home gym for decades but without sleep rest and NAPS (yes I take them almost every day to recharge) you will pay a price. I retire in another 4 Christmases and maybe then I can accomplish more personal projects at that time of my life God willing.

[@TheEPROM9]

My personal projects are all tinkering with electronics & all this applys to that as well. It can be fullfilling but sometimes grulling. Sometimes some of the best things to do is take on lots of smaller projects that can be finished in a weekend or day. Projects that involve flashing LED's are good for this, then you can decorate your house with them so you can be constatly rewarded by that work.

[@katia7880]

Thank you so much, you're a realistic dude, and we need more people like you as a younger generation. I'm an artist, yet studying nutrition, and I really tend to be more health conscious than some of my peers I would say because of I had the privilege to be more educated regarding it and as well, you could say see some signs of aging in myself too. Being a passionate artist and a dreamer myself made me set myself to go on a personal projects, yet I see how it can so easily take over your health, mentally and physically. Thank you for expressing this.

[@seekittycat]

I'm glad this got recommended to me as I stare up at my ceiling beating myself up for not working on a personal project. Sometimes I'm so tired I can't physically move but yet my shame for not doing enough won't let me sleep

[@lunareclipse2553]

This applies to a lot of things, not only art. It’s exciting to imagine endless possibilities for a project, but you’re going to get overwhelmed. I let go of perfectionism years ago. Always have an achievable finish line, or get comfortable with something being never finished

[@AdeleKThomasIllustrator]

Great video! Im 39 and agree with it all.

[@and5138]

This is a deep talk and kinda stressful to watch, but it's true. When I thinking about it, what I wanted the most is time.

[@SoullessAIMusic]

ive learned to start small and make a project in a simple scope and build on it slowly from there.

[@bioluminosity]

this is something i've been struggling with since i was 22/23 (am now 25); the slow realization that no, i cant do everything, 2 years ago, and continuing to try despite everything while finishing a bfa and going through major life events. it's led to many of the points you made -- so this is almost comforting to hear. personally, I set a goal of removing my various projects from my folders and just letting them "be" as the clutter of old wips in procreate that were supposed to be my next big thing just feels like baggage. the same with my portfolio being only stuff from the last 12 months and reorganizing my digital archive from the ground up. it's hard, but this video is what I needed to hear.

[@sealbatross]

"treat is as a job" thank you, that really resonated with me. I think i will carry that mindset forward!

[@Sunbreaker7]

Man, I really needed to hear this video and I am glad that KZbin recommended it for me. I am in a bit of a confusing state in my life where I have so many personal projects going on and I seem to feel lost in them now that I have aged and I just want to reset everything and return back to that one single project that made me most happy and forget about everything else. But letting go... it's hard, especially when some of the projects are something I have worked on for years. But in a bigger picture, I know now, no matter how much I work on them or for how long, they will never make me feel fulfilled and happy compared to that one single life-long-project I let go a long time ago to buy time for other projects when I felt more experimental in life.

[@Nick-wz6tz]

You motivate me so much !! Thank you ! Your updates always bring joy

[@nebulaknp7974]

I'm under 20 and I've been terrified to actually face and think about these thoughts and feelings, and because I've thought/felt everything that you've discussed here... I never dwelled to much on the thoughts cause they mess me up... But it's good to know there are other people with these thoughts, ideas, and feelings about passion work, and thinking ahead, wanting to do so much but too little time. It's good to hear this. I think it's extremely difficult for someone to work for their passion and have a stable financial life. I'm scared to grow up, but it's gonna happen. and the thoughts that I have to get all my dreams done before I become and "adult"., is overwhelming. This helped out a lot. Your "thoughts" are great wisdom, and also your lessons and advice are pretty good, and spectacular. Awesome vid

[@yeng-ma]

Been following you for years, and I'm even happier you're being open about this and how problematic crunch time is! I returned to college recently to learn animation, and the harsh reality that I could no longer physically do all nighters anymore hit me hard lol

[@roberto.herber]

I'm not even an artist but this video just works for so many thing, anything that you have to dedicate yourself towards basically

[@iAnnie]

I've cancelled over 100+ projects all in art, animation, and editing. Its gotten to the point it drains my mental health and it makes me want to give up as a graphic illustrator.

[@keepyourshoesathedoor]

@Thea S Being a hobbyist doesn’t seem as valid.

[@samuelfarris1949]

I've faced this myself - it seemed the more other people were challenging my views about my potential as I got older, the more I began to doubt what I thought was going to be an easy path with my work. Being in a position where I've been left dis-tempted from not being appreciated for my greatest feelings, I felt myself that I would never get far in making progress for myself. I was loved by both my parents really, but all the same I felt for some time circumstances out of my control just over-weighed and intimated me from expressing what I saw as my biggest potential beyond myself. As such dreams of writing to great people like Shirley Temple while they were still alive became nothing. Samuel F.

[@PHlophe]

Sam, what is your actual birth defect ?

[@samuelfarris1949]

@@PHlophe I've just re-texted my comment so it is clearer about my essential disposition. Also, my birth defect was loosely referencing a diseased kidney basically; I had to have a large chunk of it removed, but that left me dis-tempted about others appreciating my talent beyond the surface level much, since people seemed more interested in my health issues. Samuel F.

[@PastaEngineer]

wow, this spoke to my soul, I have literally had all these thoughts looping for a while. I gave up so much of my life for personal projects, now I'm well practiced but feel like calming down, but also still want to do everything... but I cant do all nighters anymore.

[@akiraishin7141]

It's funny how you talk about younger animators thinking that they have all the time in the world and that "sleep is for the weak" and whatnot. I've been called an old man my whole life and after watching this I realize that I had discarded that "young animator" mind set years ago, and I'm only 23

[@GoldenLeafsMovies]

Interesting how I'm of the same age yet I have nothing to show. I'll never get to a stage where I think it's worth releasing a work to the public. I do feel bad that I'm taking my time but it's cause I rarely produce anything meaningful, if at all. My low self esteem doesn't help, but everyone has that. I've heard from people in the video game industry that actually grinding those extra hours are good when young, then when you make it big, the money will cover therapy. I think there is something about real fear of limited lifetime that can be used as motivator, but I guess it can be detrimental if not in the proper mindset. Yet I'm the opposite, while I have fear of being forgotten or dismissed by time, I don't do much work since I think I'll be stuck in "study" phase forever. (Sorry if this comment is long and goes all over the place without any real substance)

[@AngelaMerici12]

That's good!! Putting your health before work is going to be better in the long run.

[@bharl7226]

Golden-Leaf I’m in the same boat, I totally feel that.

[@DoctorPhileasFragg]

@@GoldenLeafsMovies Oof, same here

[@jackmorino]

same here, having chronic pain, health always go first

[@thegringoscottproductions1699]

I've been trying to remember what Gandhi says: The path is the goal. It does not matter the pace. It's that I keep heading toward it. I enjoyed your perspective on the subject matter.

[@sketchedbyrory]

I know I am still so young, but at 21, I'm already relating so much to the things you said in this video ToT but honestly, thank you for making this, balancing life and well-being with art/animation is not talked about enough.

[@GiezelleBernal]

You read my mind. I knew this will happen to me all because I was worried about my age. And yes, I’m doing personal projects after graduation, and applying to art jobs. I believe my best approach is to be happy for what you are blessed and work on life balance.

[@alharris1428]

'It's all about crunch-time, sleep is for the weak, bruh!'. Great vid.

[@sojournstory]

I really appreciate you making this video, Toniko. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Every decade we do have to re-order our priorities because we start to recognize personal limitations, whether it’s our energy, or financial/family obligations. Sounds like you have figured out how to work smart, not just hard. Thank you again!

[@xXShAdOwChRiSXx]

This was really motivating. I've been working on a personal project for the past month and I'm on the final stretch. I'm so glad I watched this. It definitely felt like my work was being validated. Thank you.

[@boo5860]

These are some hard pills to swallow but still very true. Forcing myself into deadlines for personal projects is a good way to get around most of my perfectionism, procrastination and fear of failure but it's just so hard to enforce it upon yourself.

[@Wrathgir]

I actually have felt this way. Most of these points are valid and yes. I have also too many personal projects that I feel like I need to finish. I had to give up on many of them. There is only a handful of projects that I have left to work on. A few times I have been burnt out cause of my inner voice wanting me to do more art. I have tried to ignore it a lot but some days it just gets to the point where I have to listen to it. an idea pops up and a lot of the time I just don't even do it. There is too much to draw and it's hard to balance it out some days. I do sleep though and I do end up neglecting a lot of other things in life, but still trying my best to get through the personal projects on my own time. Some days I even have to not do them cause I feel too tired or run down. I have to say.. it's easy to come up with a personal project, but hard to finish it if it is an ongoing project.

[@saturn7_dev]

Nice thanks. I'm 48 and my health has made large personal projects much more difficult. I recommend start much earlier and have a list of targets to be filled and constantly update your list of items to be done and complete - will help you get it finished..

[@FilmSchool-om3ew]

The fact that you first mentioned 'AGE' was very humbling of you...that's something a lot of us just never want to openly admit, is that we're getting older...I know I am, and getting into this game very late. And I to, take naps daily now, when I can, they're so very needed...makes zero sense to stay up 17 hours in a row, when you don't have to. Often times just a 15 minute dead sleep nap will have you feeling totally re-energized and ready to go for another 8 hours.

[@cavemann_]

This video was really helpful, because I'm at a time where I'm struggling to really finish any project, or even settle on what things I want to prioritize.

[@RichardSilvius]

This video is really on point. I came here to add a few things. Lack of time and energy is such a huge factor in personal projects. As an animator or artist, you’ve already been drawing all day - often times far beyond the normal 8 hours. The idea of coming home and doing it all again when there are so many other responsibilities that need your attention can be demoralizing. It’s important to buy yourself some freedom. I see way too many animators wasting money on little bullshit toys to decorate their desks, video games, going out to eat etc... If you’re doing that , you’re not just blowing your paycheck, you’re blowing your freedom. Save as much money as you possibly can. The cheaper you can live, the faster you will save enough money to give yourself the time you need for some of this personal work. Maybe it means you’re not afraid to quit your job, because you can afford life without it until you find a better one. As a freelancer, it might take the pressure off you to immediately lose your mind lining up the next gig. Maybe instead you can afford to just wait for the next phone call or email while you work on your project in the meantime. Maybe it means that you continue to work hard at your job, but retire earlier. You could really take things to the extreme and try being a digital nomad. Spend time in countries with a lower cost of living while you earn money in USD. There are lots of ways to approach it - but it’s so important to be disciplined with your money. Aim to make your personal work the source of your income eventually, rather than slaving away your entire career working on other people’s projects. That’s my 2c. Good luck with your projects!!

[@r3znor_x]

This is a very inspiring video. I'm still only just starting out with animation myself, but I've always been a perfectionist at my craft and it makes my friends and loved ones concerned every time I dive too deep into a project. I still have to learn to take time for my health above all, especially if I'm to work professionally, so everything in this video is incredibly important for me to take in as an animator and an artist in general.

[@silentchanny]

For something unrelated, honestly, it could great if your videos have actual captions instead of auto-captions. It would be easier to follow for people who rely on closed captions like deaf/hard of hearing people. Through the advices are critical and I love your expressive animation.

[@OldWorldFanatic]

I'm a programmer rather than an artist, but a lot of this tracks with what I've been feeling the past year or two. I still have a personal project I plink away at for fun, but the progress on it has slowed down tremendously as I've been forced to re-prioritize my life around proposing to my gf, buying a house, finding religion, and starting new hobbies. In a lot of ways it feels like the mental and emotional equivalent of my metabolism slowing down after high school - I didn't see it coming and didn't know about it until it had already happened.

[@bensokol-composer1859]

This info can be applied to multiple aspects of life. And indeed, I feel like us as a society focuses so much on rushing through life that we don't even have the time to enjoy ourselves regularly. Thanks for sharing this video.

[@anhaan]

Different medium, but this felt very relatable. I work as a software engineer, but do game development on my free time. I don't expect to ever make a living with my obscure indie games, but that's kinda my passion, so that's where I steered with my personal projects. I used to draw and write music profusely, but as I got older, I had less time, less energy, and suddenly I can't handle all these creative endeavors anymore. Had to choose one, since I just can't do everything I'd like to.

[@muimotion]

Love this video Toniko! Great advice, specially towards the end of the video, where you say personal projects are still worth it after a certain age milestone, but to proceed with caution. As a 35 year old, this video really speaks to me as I am currently in the development stages of my 3rd short movie, which I started in 2011. I guess I do have to take most of the blame myself for why it's taken 7 years to develop the short (def since I made 2 other super short movies in the middle of the process)... Throughout the process I found myself to be my own worst enemy, where I had to fight everything from self-doubt If I can add a couple of advice too: 1. As artists we are naturally perfectionists... we have to let this ego go, and just tell the story. It's no point in making a project if you know you're gonna scrutinize it anyway after a while (This doesn't mean you should NOT tell a GOOD story, just remember to not take yourself too serious) 2. "You want to make MANY movies, not ONE movie". My brother told me this, and he couldn't have been more right, and it's linked to my first point. 3. If it's your 1st movie, try and make it as short as possible. I know that movie lengths fluctuate as you work on it, but decide a length and try stick to it as much as possible. Other than that, you really covered some great points Toniko!:) Thanks!

[@yurikha]

You managed to leave something behind, this affected me, and in turn the effects this video and your ideeas had on me be they subtle or not will influence me, and in turn i will influence others, the ripple you left in reality may not be as big as you want to consider it "leaving something behind" but it is undoubtably there

[@TheRedValue]

This video really spoke to me. I feel exactly like this. Huge expectations led me to disappointment. But huge expectations also help me motivate myself. It's become a catch-22 of mine...

[@mskiara18]

I express my gratitude for this video, I immensely agree with time, age and discipline being the factor to wanting to finish your projects. I am experiencing many of the options listed in the video, including with my health at the moment.

[@yarrer22]

why am I already feeling like this even though I just started doing art and animation-

[@finalfroevo]

I'm gonna take advice to heart. I always hear about being positive and all that but never really wondered about the other side of it. I love animation but there's other things I would like to do

[@grejsancoprative]

I am currently remodeling my apartment, and part of that was to paint a big mural on one of the walls that I had taken down the tapestry of. And before I could even start I had to get over somethings about it; first are that there's no way it's gonna look 100%, and second are the fact that I am probably gonna have to cover it once I move. And that's the personal growth I got from creating the project - that no, I don't have to moop and discourage myself over every mistake or oditiy in a project and it doesn't have to be everlasting - more about do it for the sake of doing it. I also learned that if you want to acchieve something you have to put in the work and sacrifice. When I started I had reached the final boss in Dark Souls 1, but as the project went on I had stopped playing any games at all and devoted almost all my spare time on painting. I work as a truck driver so must of the time where I feel I have time and energy for it are during the weekends. And now that it is complete I do feel a big boost of confidence, and I feel I've grown above some of my peers who are pretty much stuck on square one even though they've had all the time in the world of presuing their art careers. I just took a different route where I had to take a pause.

[@dungofrungus7659]

Some artists I follow that are in their 30s only see art as a way of making money and they don't seem to have any interest in doing anything that doesn't make them money. Once one started freelancing he just disappeared of the internet and stopped doing any personal work. I can understand that viewpoint but it just feels a bit depressing to me, but I am also not in that situation so maybe it is only do work that makes money or else starve to death. On a sidenote I wonder why all these hand drawn animators are at Netflix now, James Baxter, Rune Bennicke, Pat Keegan, you, and I'm sure many others. Rune Bennicke has a straight ahead animation on his channel where a guy says Oh for a voice like Thunder, I could watch that all day long its so much fun to look at.

[@catchinggates]

This video really hit a personal spot for me and I thank you for making it! I started my storyboard at 20 years old and I'm 30 now. I have like 80 notebooks and there are other side stories I was never able to write down, and at this point, only the most important parts have remained. It was only now in 2020, that I was able to find the right program for me, after working in webcomic format. It wasn't for me. It made it difficult to continue. I was devastated, because that was the only way I had known to show it to the world. But there are other formats, like video games, or manga format, or even in GIF form. There are many ways we are not aware of and sometimes the thing you wouldn't expect to help you make your story, can. For me it was visual novel like Tyranobuilder, off of Steam. And i feel you man. For me, my biggest fear is having my characters die with me. I believe that the imaginational realm is shared. It's like an icloud, because lots of stories and songs are similar. And we all make up similar characters and worlds and even messages that we want to get across. So? How can two people on the opposite sides of the world, and different age groups, come up with such similar stories? Again, I think the imagination realm is trying to get across certain things, which is why we see it so much. Like the heroes journey. But yes, I don't want my characters to become buried 6 feet under with me. I feel an obligation to draw them to life or write them to life, since they could pack up their bags any time and leave me. Yet, the few stubborn characters and plots decide to stay, because they want to be molded into reality by none other than you/me. That is why, I think animation and video game making, comic making, manga making, music making, video making, it's the expression of our lives, our questions, our desires, and our souls. It's so important. And I can only hope we can all make a part of it real. I wanted to give up on ever making my story to the public. It's been ten years. It got derailed. It's trash. But it's the trash that kept revisiting me everyday for 10 years. The imaginary friends and worlds that only I can see. And its so heartbreaking to have that only for me. That is why, persistence is key. Doing a doodle everyday is key. It's like showing up. It's just about showing up and being open to the fantasy and letting it enter. Imagination is the one in charge. Even if initially, you controlled the wheel. But no, hahaha. It's their parade. And we are the only ones to make them shine.

[@gamecity7265]

People often confuse feeling good and happiness. Happiness doesn't exist but is just the result of your body and spirit feeling good.

[@kimjungunstwinbrother1269]

This is so informative

[@doghous3]

Plan, plan, plan to the vision you have. Break it down into smaller goals. Hit them. Don't worry if you miss them. Just do them. Finish - definitely finish. Don't feel guilty about taking a break. Take a break. Enjoy it. Work it. it is work. But enjoy it anyway. That's a few things that come to mind from a middle-years old fart in game dev. Great vid, by the way.

[@Shimamon27]

So far, I manage to keep up with my personal project. I keep it not too hard, and it ends up rewarding. I am beginning to work in art and animation, and I guess I go for it because it's the only thing that seems to flow well with me. It's hard, but rewarding enough, I know how to keep balance between life and work.

[@RESRetro]

Thanks for making this video man, it really resonated with me and help to hear someone else having the same struggles. As a video editor/motion graphics designer, I often feel conflicted about my personal projects, as it really takes a lot of time and effort and at the moment I'm incredibly driven to work on them... so much so that other aspects of my life can suffer at times. I can neglect my personal relationships and health by prioritizing my work and personal projects over everything. Recently I've been striving to try and balance things a bit more but it is still hard to not feel guilty about it.

[@Veronicatastic]

I love this because recently I've been getting really into personal projects and struggling with balancing that with spending time with other people. I feel like I have to capitalize on being productive while I'm young, but this video has helped put things in perspective. I want to make sure I don't get too caught up in always working towards my passion projects and neglect other areas of my life.

[@inkterp5322]

NOT me clicking on this video with a long-term personal project that i love and get really excited about knowing this video is going to crush my dreams before it even starts

[@robertnussberger2028]

Self taught literature fantasy fiction writing what quite an adventure for me. I am 20 years old, self taught, and I have spent most of my time behind the keyboard and screen, and typewriter. I also learned most of what was said in this video before I have watched this video. Especially the first one about age. I have spent 3 years from start to near professional literature. But I also get the fear of thinking "Wow. Is this really worth it? Will I be able to finish? What will happen to my work after I die?". I know I should not have to worry right now because I am 20 and not 40, but I kind of think of these things during my project works, and it bothers me. I also have short attention span, so out of 3 years, I have published 1 story which was based of a role play I had with a friend online called "Wolf Messenger". But at this age, I too am affected by this ordeal of existential crisis.

[@Marcotonio]

About to pick up a personal project I've been neglecting after learning a bit more about learning and doing things. This came as the icing on the cake, thank you. :)

[@MargaritaTitagina]

Your videos have changed my life, thank you!

[@CalliePup]

I love realness, this is it. And these are the things that people don't like to hear because they aren't easy, but these are incredibly important. We used to follow each other on tumblr back in ya DW days! :) Happy to see you makin vids and hope to meet you one day

[@whowantswaffles]

In three personal projects right now and I always spread myself thin, what days im working on what project and what aspect while animating at a day job too...its exhausting! But I'm inspired when I hear others feel that way too :) I'm going to try and use this advice :D

[@jakewhritenour4900]

so kind of you taking time out of your busy schedule to relay this information to us. Thank you. I just started trying to promote my project so hoping to learn from this

[@jordantheuser]

As you get older you realise that with perspective time is invaluable, which is why it’s so important to take time off in order to gain perspective

[@VictorRodriguez-zp2do]

I'm a programmer making what I thought would be a simple project. I have already been working on it for 3 months and the more I advance the more I realize how few I have done.

[@kaymakesthings]

Whether or not we leave a mark on the world, yeah that seems to be the question. I grew up with that idea too, but come to realize, each of us are so small. You'll always be small, no matter how prolific you aspire to be. I think there's beauty in that. There's already been a Da Vinci, already been an Ed Hardy, already been a Rebecca Sugar-- and even among them, there are others. I'm odd in that I married right out of college, my partner is still in school, and animation for me isn't any kind of income currently. Sure, that's a goal of mine, but I find I'm the happiest when I'm plugging away at my own things. I'm the happiest when I drag the playhead back to the start and see the progress of my work. It's a kind of birth, a sort of child, and it deeply satisfies me to see them grow. I think that's something to consider to; if your motivations are award and income-centric, you may not be doing it for the right reasons.

[@lych2102]

Rebecca Sugar.................. Wow................... 'Kay...........

[@DarthBiomech]

There was no Rebecca Sugar ten years ago. what would you said then? "There's already Don Bluth"? Compare "you probably won't be the next animation God" with "you DEFINITELY will NEVER be the next animation God" and tell me what odds sound better. For me it's better to die somewhere on the side of the mountain trying to climb to the top rather than die at the very bottom not even attempted to scale it.

[@Fantallana]

lych this just in: you have to be at the level of DaVinci for you art to reach anyone, or matter at all. Lol Let’s just shit on every female creative with any directorial power, while we’re at it.

[@RavenOfCen]

I'm feeling a lot of this. After years of working on my own craft and trying to get my foot in the door as an artist, I'm burnt out and have gotten nowhere. Trying to balance full time day jobs, commuting, my personal life, and personal projects has honestly just become too much for me. I'm strongly considering just making art my hobby again so I can start finding joy in it, instead of resenting it as an obligation that sucks up my time and energy.

[@dublinphotoart]

Doing your passion project is all about the joy of the process and that is what we need to be sharing with people and our journey .... lets try not make it about reaching an end product or even finishing it 🤣😎

[@dublinphotoart]

@The one girl Depends 🤣 Sweeet. Do it! I try to focus on finishing smaller chunks rather than one massive chunk! 😮🤣

[@dublinphotoart]

@The one girl Depends hey me too! 🤣 i only started a channel a couple weeks ago and am trying to finish video 2. 🤣 tryin to keep it short and sweet. 😎

[@dublinphotoart]

@The one girl Depends 😍 thanks! My channel is Cuppa Toons. I was lookin at your stuff its awesome. Definitely get that finished! And don't be afraid to monetize at some point. We have to be serious about having fun! 🤣 😮

[@dublinphotoart]

@@BrimalBaspid whaaa?? 😮 well maybe you are doing the wrong thing? You need a good old fashioned sketchbook and just let loose. I eventually created a couple of characters i loved and then that made me want to make their world aswell. So either a simple picture ... a simple comic strip... a tiny animation... different projects different sizes. But it gave me a direction. 😮 And what do you listen to? Put on some Gary Vee and some Tony Robins! 😂 Make new habits. 🤔