10 Reasons Highly Intelligent People Struggle to Find Love

Today, we discover why highly intelligent people struggle to find love. Intelligent people often struggle finding romantic success, even though intelligence is often ranked as one of the most attractive traits. So, why does this correlation exist?
Chief Editor: Tristan Reed
Voice Over: Troy W. Hudson
For Troy: / troywhudson
Music from Bensound.com

[@hawalulabdullahi3403]

Summary of the 10 Reasons. 1. Destructive Analysis 2. Perceived Disinterest 3. Hyper self-criticism 4. Unrealistic Selectivity 5. Suspicious paranoia 6. Comfortable independence 7. Professional priorities 8. Desire for control 9. Lack of relatability 10. Competitive Damage

[@King_Baldwin2]

Thanks for saving my 11 minutes and 3.5 mb 🗿🗿Chad

[@user-nn7cf2ue4h]

Thanks a lot

[@stephencarroll9210]

Highly intelligent people often try to delve into subjects that are too deep for others to understand or relate to so they're seen as weird or peculiar

[@Nowhere888]

Smart people are weird and peculiar because their is a fine line between brilliance and madness. Freshmen year in engineering school, my engineering prof said to just embrace my geekness because otherwise you are a phony human being.

[@indridcold8433]

I am strange an unusual. But, I am dumb as a box of rocks. It is not only the intelligent that can be weird and peculiar

[@Anonymous-wb3nz]

​@@indridcold8433*and Spelling is hard.

[@learnpianofastonline]

That's been my problem. I abhor dumb time-wasting stuff needed to learn nightclub game as well.

[@ErickOS6038]

@@indridcold8433 I've noticed that you're always displaying yourself into those introvert videos, and now here? Big ego you've got there, know your place. I always come to videos like this when I'm not feeling well, it reminds me of how many people have that pathetic god complex mindset instead of constantly seeking for self-improvement, and that instantly gives me a reason to laugh and live my life calmly while I try to help. You aren't as smart as you may think you are when you can't even realize how stupid your behaviour is without the need for someone to come and clarify that for you. Maybe you realize but prefer to stick to it since no one even comes close to that "almighty intellect" of yours to question it, and you like the sensation of power and the "no one comes close" constant vibes. Those blatant "I'm dumb" comments aren't going to fool anyone. Behind that self-destructive words, lays an insecure individual with a very, very high idea about himself, lurking for approval and someone to share life with, yet too egotistical to consider a partner and that blindfolds you, which is bad and you know why. Won't babysit you any further, did that text with the hope that you pretend to be better. Have a nice day/weekend, and don't forget to be empathetic daily.

[@counsela9240]

Smart people understand human nature and know that people can’t be trusted to do the right thing.

[@mrliam303]

Yes Love that Human Nature have served me well since i was about 15 years old! Liam Stockholm, Sweden

[@sunnycieli]

On point. Reaching into the depths of the human psyche - This is where it all stems from. Intelligent people are self aware and know that in order to respect your partner, means to accept them wholly. Intelligent people will analyse their relationships only to the detriment that they will only look at how their actions could be improved. Let’s really ask ourselves - How many people in this world self actualise and review their own actions and behaviours? There are more people in this world who blame rather than reflect, and that is the biggest red flag of all which keeps intelligent people away from relationships. Intelligent people know better than to start fixing someone, unless they are qualified to do so. Emotionally Intelligent people want to meet someone with the same intellectualism - The pool is smaller than a Pearl drop unfortunately.

[@Nowhere888]

Robert Greene wrote a whole book on it called "Human Nature."

[@jonteclarke8361]

@@sunnycieli on the head.

[@MisterMarin]

Bingo! Exactly the reason why I've decided to stay single - human nature. And with each passing day, humans continue to prove me right and solidify my position. Why would anyone purposely want to deal with other humans beyond the necessary minimum is beyond me.

[@dregorerampin7439]

It's all true. And the fact that love is about emotions, which are irrationnal and illogical, which might be why it's so difficult. Logic and reason don't work with love.

[@andreaspencer8014]

Ah! Logic and reason are the only way love can be sustained, without them love doesn't work. I think you got that a little backwards. Romantic love like happiness is a temporary state of being/emotion, without logic and reason most people don't have the commitment or wherewithall to stay together past the romantic love phase to develop that familial love required for long-term partnership. ❤

[@dregorerampin7439]

@@andreaspencer8014 Huh. I wish you were right. Sadly, I don't think women are creatures of reason and logic. But I'm happy to be wrong. Tell me more please. What kind of reason and logic appeals women? I'd like to know.

[@user-nn7cf2ue4h]

You can read these autors: Ayala Malach Pines, Rollo May, Eric Berne, David Givens, Dr.Louann Brizendine Reflection and Awareness: Internal reflection and questioning your thoughts can help you shift your paradigm. By examining your own beliefs and values, you can develop deeper awareness and understanding.

[@dregorerampin7439]

@@user-nn7cf2ue4h Thanks a bunch.

[@harrydebraekeleer7322]

I don't consider myself highly intelligent. Although I consider myself logical and intellectual, I constantly feel like I don't belong. I feel like an outsider.

[@scepter47]

Outlander

[@immortaljanus]

Brighter people see the world differently than average people. It's not just faster thinking, it's also fundamentally different. A whole standard deviation of difference (15 points) can already produce a noticeable change.

[@hulalaloo8242]

This is exactly my ex boyfriend, his IQ is 157 and he analyzes, predicts and evaluates literally every aspect of his life. He tried his best to maintain our relationship, but somehow he still hurt my feelings. He always wanted to be right, argued all the time for a simple problem, and never made a compromise. And yeah he prioritized his career over love and that's why we break up. Dating a guy like this can be both interesting and exhausting. This kind of people can be very gentle, smart and humourous but at the same time being selfish and self-centred. It can be a red flag for marriages.

[@andreaspencer8014]

Sounds like he was a narc that maybe just convinced you he was super intelligent 😅

[@ninjapirate123]

what ethnicity was he?

[@timparhamsr9598]

None of it is easy . . . . . . Even and perhaps : especially for him ...... taking nothing away from you ........ I can totally relate to how it feels to feel as though you were the only one Vested in the relationship.........

[@glennso47]

I fell in love with my wife in 1974 . We stayed together until 2021 when she passed away. I can’t find anyone else. So I will just live alone. I’m comfortable alone and always have been.

[@vender68]

well this video is not for you good for you

[@stevenbrown6593]

You sir will be happier on you're own. Dating is alot different now. What you and you're wife had is deep and meaningful (i'm guessing). Now dating is more about what you can bring to the table and its all for the wrong reasons.

[@latinaalma1947]

We are likely around the same age....I was a professor and am retired abroad I lost my mate of 41 years last year. It was rough. However, I am not dead yet. I still want a positive life. I do not EXPECT another partner like him again... after all I am not 30,,40,,or 50 anymore. I am healthy and fit for my age BUT Im not climbing any mountains anymore, or sailing in the Caribbean anymore, or even backpacking anymore, BUT my mind is still sharp, my IQ is still high and I enjoy living. It took me two months to attract a man who was suitable for me. I mourned and then during the holidays friends asked me to socialize...I did and realized I needed NEW friends, not ONLY all the couples I knew...I set out to meet singles women as friends and men as friends. A very bright engineer retired asked a mutual friend to introduce us. I had gone on several coffee dates and none of those were suitable for ME , not bad guys but not right for me. This relationship is different but very nice. I wasnt looking for someone adventurous this time. I already did all that. I wasnt looking for someone with money. I made my own working and investing so am set for life. Turned out much later he is a multimillonaire... doesnt affect me because it all goes to his son, just as all mine goes to my son. Seniors in a comfortable situation need to be wary, there are male golddiggers as well female. We have no worries there. He has a medical condition...he wont last forever, but then neither will I, though right now I am in much better health than he...however anything can happen in one's 70s. My advice is keep an open mind. Make female as well as male friends.Socialize, you will feel better and you never know, you might meet someone special, or not, but you will have friends and a LIFE. Sitting at home all alone is not a longterm positive strategy... loads of research backs this up....Im a clinical psychology professor retired I KNOW the literature! Best of luck to you .....keep postive . For me no one could replace my partner of 41 years but that is not a realistic expectation anyway.

[@timparhamsr9598]

You were one of the very lucky ones , to have found her ! . . . . Not( lucky ) that you lost her ; I know she lives on WITHIN your heart ! .... I also realize I could have worded this a bit differently , I' just not always good with my choice of words.....

[@user-fo3jr1zh4s]

Thanks for your help with this case

[@JohanSiebers]

Very relatable, thanks for this!

[@menardmaranan]

I never considered myself to have above average intelligence but man, these points hit.

[@timparhamsr9598]

I - tooo have a tough time thinking of myself as being smart ; not to mention being highly intelligent . . . . What does that say about Mr / Ms joe average ?

[@uttredbemberg-kb3dr]

This is one truly marvelous and magnificent video this is something that I needed to hear

[@mateobanda6808]

Omg, thanks so much for this video

[@WeylandLabs]

Validating loneliness through watching KZbin videos - make it STOP ! 🤣

[@maryyoung4046]

lol

[@user-bu5ye3mr5w]

The biggest problem I have, or have had in my 70 year old life, is how and when and in complete innocence, I try to meet or get to know a woman, she thinks I'm this criminal out to get her and she gets all shook up and calls the police. Me, I'm falling in love with her and I want to have her in my life. I honestly don't know why women think this way, or what I can do differently. If I try to be "friends" with women, this remains forever platonic and never escalates into romance, what to me is the most frustrating and heart-wrenching kind of experience for me., when I'm in love with the woman but she refuses to fall in love with me. Intelligence makes me understand love and falling in love and I very much want to be in it

[@JasonTycoon]

All in all, we're just logical beings.. we aren't driven by feelings/emotions.

Amazing video.

[@wezzy9437]

Here's actually why: If someone has an IQ of 185, and the average IQ in the US is 85-90, while the IQ of a dog is around 40 it basically means someone of high intelligence has almost nothing deep in common with their partner or potential partner because the difference in intelligence between an average person and an animal isn't too far off enough to make a difference.

[@mister_zany]

Those IQ tests aren't reliable

[@tasneema2602]

Great channel 👌

[@justateacher7527]

I love only myself 😂

[@glennso47]

That’s a good start. If you don’t love yourself then you can’t love someone else.

[@mr.e7541]

@glennso47 it's amazing that people really think that loving only yourself is a good thing. Our society is so backwards it's ridiculous. Yes you're right you do need to love yourself as well.

[@fundamentalcoach]

I am a high functioning Person on all levels : I Love knowledge and am successful but also extremely loving caring as my Turkish culture taught me to be a human being means have a good heart ❤️, then I love energy work and explore all kinds of healing modalities. So now get me an equal 😂 I also love staying fit without extreme stress…. People tell me I am attractive and don’t look my age…. Now get me a man 🤣

[@WeylandLabs]

Is it weird I want to argue with you ? 🤣

[@fundamentalcoach]

@@WeylandLabs well than it’s time to ask yourself what triggers you why and get to its source and decide to heal. Attractive men observe and don’t open their mouth to shit on others screaming for love but stay awake and at peace and only open if they resonate in a positive way. Become a man first than you may be allowed to say a word towards me. Got it?!

[@WeylandLabs]

@fundamentalcoach Your deep analysis towards nine words is very interesting. As a Scorpio man, your humorous side is clearly lacking a bit. My analysis towards your comment is that not too many men can keep up with you. Or maybe understand your quirky humor also. My "attractiveness" is subjective, I feel. Your experience of what that looks like is your own view of it. I feel being a man is a journey, not a destination. I continue to always strive to be a better version of myself from yesterday and will continue to do that forever. I'm 42, so after your 40s, you have to start get busy living or get busy dying. Hopefully, you can find someone who matches your energy on every aspect. Remember, strength and "attractiveness" also comes in humility and our flaws that's what makes us human and beautiful. Thank you for the feedback it made me laugh a bit.

[@sashashaktiable]

Same here. I am not only HIP, but also HSP, which means I not only understand more on an intellectual level, but also feel more. Disastrous combination in a society literally run by trauma and ignorance of that very trauma, which leads to over-intellectualization paired with an unwillingness to feel, which leads to sick avoidance strategies like a need for competition paired with an inability to love, which leads to literally all the mess we are in. I am so tired of it all. Funny enough, it usually is women I can easily talk to about these interconnected issues, but only very few men. In conversations with women, what I tend to experience is that both sides express their experiences and perspectives and work together to find root causes and solutions. Whereas when I introduce the same topic to a man, not all of them, but still way too many, turn it into a competition of intelligence rather than a cooperative effort for positive progress. It becomes about their ego vs me, rather than about all of us together and how to improve the overall issues of the world. This is infuriating to me, it is ridiculous, ignorant of the emotional needs of others, it is small-minded and self-centered and nothing but a waste of time. As just proven by the other comment you received. That dynamic also expressed in my relationships with men - they turn what should be about love and support into a battlefield that serves nothing but their ego as soon as they start to find out that I am not a one-dimensional person. It is so disheartening. Needless to say, I gave up on it at this point. I would still really love to be in a true partnership based on mutual respect, appreciation, love, friendship and care. But so far, my life just did not deliver and I am tired of the constant disappointment. Anyhow, I wish you all the best on your journey - may everything you truly want and need gift itself to you with beauty and ease. I wish you joy ❤️

[@user-ue1hu9nk6j]

The Loatzean paradox reveals this paradoxic world. Every phenomenon has its own opposites and as the opposites extend to their limits, they will change positions. As highly intelligent people, we can use our intellect to become fools in a controlled manner in such a way, we can be more acceptable to other people. In short, too many intelligent people use their intellect as a veil to the goodness in other people"s heart. We have to give feeling in order to receive feelings. By using logical intellect to calculate love return is foolish . Most highly intelligent people desire to avoid bad experiences by using mind simulation without realizing life itself is experience. That is the dilemma . Most people who found love are the ones who are willing to take a risk. Also being intelligence they know that they are mentally strong enough to survive the disappointment if it happens.

[@anitamurkes9511]

An intelligent person has to finally figure out that analyzing and talking aboutcomplex things does not make him/her connect , and change their behaviour. THAT can be very hard for a very intelligent persons ego !

[@edit4310]

All yall NPCs gonna be like ThIs iS me🤣

[@anitamurkes9511]

You have to be emotionally intelligent too. These two intelligencied don’t always go together !

[@TheInternetLove]

Being in love is intelligent🙏🏾

[@DoriDoesVoices]

To tell you the truth, while I feel odd calling myself "highly intelligent", I do know that I have the capacity to learn, access my creativity and highly adept at analyzing my environment/actions. I am extremely self aware, which, somehow people compliment me on many occasions. Doesn't feel impressive to me because to me all it means is having a preoccupation with monitoring or filtering my own behavior. I don't really want to analyze everything. I find it very distracting but almost like an itch that I can't ignore. What chaps MY ass is, while I am very self aware and very empathetic, I'm not so disillusioned that I don't see the beauty of relating to other people, whether it be romantic or otherwise, even if they aren't an encyclopedia in my field of interest like I tend to be. If the common person is of average intelligence, then it makes sense because a lot of the sharpest and loving people in my life must have been of more common intelligence. And I don't want them to be anything other than what they are. We want people to recognize us and yes, likely people who don't feel as smart so they can tell us, "wow, you're really smart". I think we WANT to be surrounded by people of more average intelligence. I think a room full of smart people is great from an ambitious standpoint but not in the realm of love and relationships. In fact, I will jump out there to say highly intelligent folk many times have a "holier than thou" mentality but usually masking the inferiority we feel. Basically, we have been told we are better because of how smart or creative we are and how desirable that makes us. However, even though people value those qualities, charisma and physical attraction are much more tangible and people can overlook intelligence as long as the person is engaging and is sexually desirable. You don't need to be smart for that. It's just a part of who we are as a species. We enjoy the praise and accolades but that praise won't make people love us. Most of the time, being smart is only self serving. It's no different than a really attractive person telling someone how attractive they are or a funny person telling people who funny they are. It doesn't work that way. Perhaps, us as intelligent people can learn how to display intelligence in a more indirect way. Rather than letting it be advocate for your personality. I think the issue is that I can't always immerse myself in interactions. It's like I don't trust myself to do it without some kind of guide or preparing beforehand. Of course, stupidity can frustrate or befuddle me sometimes but smart people do dumb shit too. Or make foolish decisions or overextend themselves. Being smart doesn't immediately gain access to happiness. It's the opposite! We prepare beforehand, consider all the outcomes, set expectations high and STILL deal with the disappointment of a bad choice. I'm jealous. I really don't like being burdened with wisdom all the time. Sometimes, I just want to forget all that and just enjoy myself. Even when I do try to relate, and with some success, it's like a matter of time before I feel the gap between others and the older I get, the tougher it seems to be go into a situation with no expectations or trying to control the environment. I'm an empathetic man but tbh, I find it really hard to fully trust people now because I know how chaotic human nature is. However, I still want to risk it. I want to relate but I just don't usually FEEL it. Seems like whenever I find someone who intrigues and inspires me, they end up being toxic and/or emotionally unavailable. It's a gift and a curse.

[@cynthiaclark9083]

you must be blest with a Life full of Loving Supportive Relatives n Friends

[@indridcold8433]

@@cynthiaclark9083 This is not the 20th century. Loving and supportive firends probably only come once in a lifetime, if at all, now. There are no rooms full of supportive family and friends anymore. Watch yourself around people. The one that says they have your back, always, will be the first one stabbing you in your back in a dire emergency, when you need that person the most. Keep your enemies far and your, "friends," further. You have been warned.

[@christineawuor3805]

Remarkable 😮

[@willzwiadowca7316]

As intelligent man i had to admit i literly "learning" how to deal with girls and how to be more attractive for them. I got hurt so many times and each other blow me more but i get further... its not like im doing this on porpous but it evolve in me... one thing also evolve, "there is no chance i will find another Soulmate

[@Espina907]

because smart people know TRUST and fidelity are RARE and hard to find.

[@Nowhere888]

Check out the movie "Up In the Air" which is all about smart, successful people having trouble in their romantic lives.

[@nagratna793]

Not everyone is intelligent..its also anxiety..over thinking and negative mindsets ..lets not mistake these with intelligence..

[@luizbaite3506]

Thankyou TOPTHINK 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@jeffreyjkkelly2520]

Wisdom is better than intelligence.

[@jannkarylle1437]

Because they always analyze,criticize and label even small things

[@zensvlognotapro]

If a person use the mind than a heart they're really struggling finding love 😊

[@Rocketspecs]

I can relate to all of these reasons which kinda scares me

[@timparhamsr9598]

just being aware is a good place to be......... I - too am one of the 100 % crowd

[@user-nq2zg2jo8y]

TIME

[@jamesmayo3827]

Cuts me to the quick.

[@memegodoygodinez1878]

Know that I disliked the video, not because its not good, it is a great vid. I just dont like being reminded that this is the way things are

[@sonder3519]

All the "intelligent" people in the comment section.

[@dyjerriusNewt]

I feel more apathetic and lack what a so called "Connection" is and what love means in a relationship the only thing that I see in a woman is just S3x and pleaser thats all in my pov. I just had to say it im not going to sugar coat

[@veroncaramos8394]

I'm no.5 😂, I think so ❤

[@user-nq2zg2jo8y]

AMIT

[@ninjapirate123]

I'm also very intelligent but I'm also an introvert

[@glennso47]

Looking for love in all the wrong places. Was a country song years ago.

[@mr.e7541]

How stupid would you have to be to think that love does not exist. Have you never met a parent that would die for their child. That's what love is valuing other people. Of course this is an extreme example.

[@birdlavv5623]

Fellow spocks-Live long and prosper 🖖

[@timparhamsr9598]

Not surprizing at all for me - I scored a 10/10 . . . . . ..I guess that I win ?!?!?!? I have always struggled to keep it , if I ever found love ... I usually am great at finding ways to get rid of it ..That coupled with the example " given by my male role model " that needing / asking for help is a sign of weakness ........... and according to that - where does " being a team player " come into play ? ...... Work place or sports ? or ? especially in a partnership such as having a wife / or other domestic partner ?

[@stekner241083]

wow, I have all 10 traits. And have been single for 40 years lol

[@indridcold8433]

Everyone struggles to find love. But, in today's planetary, social, conditions, it is best to have no girlfriend / boyfriend, no friends, no acqaintences, nor even coworker connections. I have no social life at all. This guarantees my safety from emotional abuse, maybe even physical abuse. In today's existence, it is better to have no social existence as at all.

[@Vy-Oh-Letter]

10 Reasons Highly Intelligent People Struggle to Find Love: 1.) Destructive Analysis: 2:31 2.) Perceived Disinterest: 3:23 3.) Hyper Self-Criticism: 4:03 4.) Unrealistic Selectivity: 5:01 5.) Suspicious Paranoia: 6:10 6.) Comfortable Independence: 7:01 7.) Professional Priorities: 8:11 8.) Desire For Control: 9:01 9.) Lack of Relatability: 9:40 10.) Competitive Damage: 10:18

[@Dolph83]

That's on foruntly is me😅💯👋

[@nigelgrim]

You might want to timestamp these videos.

[@menkasharma392]

❤❤

[@GregDaDefender]

You stated true facts but, you made me kinda mad with #5 because it's the truth. Except for #10 or at least not me, as much. It depends I guess. #TheTruthHurts

[@Ajurra13]

Jesus Christ, those gears are giving me anxiety... I hate this

[@user-nq2zg2jo8y]

YASH.Y.PANCHAL.

[@glennso47]

My sense of humor many people don’t get. 😢

[@BarrengerFynar]

Another video reminding me I'm doomed.

[@rachangel1951]

We need EI to balance our IQ.

[@kristinab881]

Reason 1: They are self-sufficient and independent, they don’t need anyone. Reason 2: The pool is too little. The average seeking average has a large pool to fish in. Reason 3: High criteria in looking for partner ( This concerns intelligent women ). Reason 4: Inadequate social competence, which stems from reason 1.

[@ackerjawaka4742]

I'm assuming it's because we get on everyone's nerves 😜

[@vdave3550]

WhoeEver runs thuis channel. Good content but PLEASE remove the highly annoying speaker!

[@LuckiER89]

~. Maybe Me thinking I'm intelligent is the reason why I'm alone in this dimension. Hahaha #SigmaMale 😏☘️

[@johnrobinson5156]

Intelligent men don't want to lose half of their stuff and money after 10 years. Majority of marriages end in divorce initiated by the wife, leave him broke

[@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042]

How ridiculous. Not my experience, nor that of my friends. Many men are takers from women, including financially.

[@jaidixon2110]

😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@jingerhaley5886]

They are all flawed 🤓🤓🤓

[@blackspidermanoffunk7276]

💯 ✝️ 🙏👍 AMEN

[@addis11100]

mf

[@sandeepsuresh2232]

Intelligent people don't have the intelligence to listen to their heart instead of brain.

[@anitamurkes9511]

Very good point !

[@IlovethesIlovethes]

It sounds more like they're insecure than being intelligent

[@ronrouettejr9212]

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby ( or 4) in a baby carriage. Then u realize you don’t care for the person that you invested years of your life to because the “love “ u thought it was was only fear of being alone. I take 50% responsibility for my actions.

[@user-op8ps1hj2e]

Cuz love is a fictional thing. Smart ppl are too logical and don't chase fake things...

[@tazwilliams6099]

Then why does it hurt if its not real?

[@counsela9240]

Exactly!

[@glennso47]

@@tazwilliams6099it’s real but you just can’t see or feel or smell or taste it. Just like air Or many other things.

[@1975KyleDavid]

Love is real. It's harder to cope with because it's something that either works through cooperation and communication or the couple are in for a bumpy road. I was married for ten years, and I learned a lot in why relationships are hard--particularly when you include stepchildren.

[@EricHermickRust]

I was about to say the same logic 💀