Totally Random Mouth Noise Episode #7: Neil Hamburger

This is the seventh episode from a failed television show I created, self produced, etc. Nothing better than learning how to do something by putting up your own money LOL. It was one of the first times I did everything myself. Set up the interviews, booked the area, paid for the camera dude, etc. Looking back I don't feel like I'm at my best when it comes to interviewing. I was a little intimidated by the people I was interviewing and at times I felt like I should have had more cameras, lighting, etc. But the nice thing is that it did prepare me for when I co-hosted an afternoon talk radio show here in Vancouver.
One thing I really don't like about these pilot shoots is that the sound ended up being incredibly poor, but I didn't realise that until well after the fact. The thing I do like is that we used the technique of, "Film until the subject says, 'enough!'" We were able to pull some great stuff from the subjects due to my taking a risk and using that technique. If there's enough interest, I may post the full unedited interviews someday. Some are as long as 45-50 minutes.
This interview with Neil Hamburger is one of my absolute favourite interviews of all time. Neil and I chatted for about an hour and that time just flew by. After the interview we hung out for a bit and continued our chat on the walk to his gig at The Media Club that night, for the Vancouver Comedy Fest.
Neil is one of those characters that truly needs to have his own show. He'd be perfect for an MTV single camera reality type show, in that he's so bizarre and entertaining websites like TMZ, Perez Hilton, etc., would have a field day with him.
You want a comedy concert series that's going to sell out in every town you go to? Get Neil Hamburger and Pee Wee Herman to tour together. That sucker would be off the hizzy, as the kids say.
BTW, if you ever feel like downloading something that is INCREDIBLY Not Safe For Work (NSFW), then please feel free to download my full-length 1-hour Stand-Up Comedy DVD at www.TheStandUpComedians.com PLEASE NOTE: I pushed everything as far as I could during the live performance (Content, language, etc.) because it was intended solely for internet download. It's only $5, but sweet lord, it is so filthy. I'm sorry.
You can also download my new(ish) podcasts at www.FunnyEnough.ca and www.XXXUnrated.com One I co-host with my buddy Art Factora (Google him) the other is a horribly filthy podcast that was almost banned by the entire internet. Some would call it a "boycott", but I prefer the term, "Ban".

[@alexstone5410]

Gregg is one of the greatest improvisers of all time. True Genius.

[@Pimp-Master]

And now, Hamburger is on everyone's minds especially in places like Hacienda Heights, California. He's so expensive to book, that clubs will accept Hamburger impersonators, Hamburger Helper, because people just want "Hamburger" at whatever quality level.

[@peterhamlet1415]

That's disgusting, have you seen how most cheap cows are treated? It's like eating a giant fecal tumor.

[@hamstercommando42069]

What a weird Monkees/bowl cut/mullet thing that this guy is rocking. Like a medieval iron helmet of hair. Even so, cheers for bringing out some more Hamburger.

[@PatrickMaliha]

LOL! I loved the entire interview. I may just post up the full 40+ minutes. It will have some slow parts, but it will be up there :-)

[@minckypasricha1930]

Where is it?! 😭

[@ericclaptonsrobotpilot7276]

5:30 I think Mr Hamburger has some similar feelings about VHS tapes.

[@clintrock]

If enough people watch this you know that one day someone's going to actually look for that scene in Abbott and Costello Meet The Mummy.

[@MisterIkeJones]

Thank you for suggesting Abbot and Costello Meet the Mummy, those jokes had me rolling. It's hard to find good clean comedy like that these days. It's always about wordplay dealing with farts and how many times you can say fart in a sentence. Give me the classic jokes about anal prolapse any day.

[@thespacecowboy420]

DapperDan fart

[@TheIncidentRoom]

Dealing with a lot of... disease.

[@PatrickMaliha]

@DoctaDualist Agreed! Awesome comedian, even better performer. A true genius.

[@MMBosstone737]

Very impressive interview that brought pants-shitting hilarity out of Neil. I would hugely appreciate if the full interview was released

[@PatrickMaliha]

I agree. Love the guys delivery.

[@Atombombmother]

I love Neil Hamburger. America's funnyman!

[@PatrickMaliha]

@childpear You, dear nameless internet person, are obviously a true Connoisseur of what is awesome.

[@PatrickMaliha]

@mrpayne123 No prob! He was one of the nicest people I've ever interviewed. I might put up the full interview at some point. But not sure if anyone would actually be interested in two guys "ramble-chatting" for almost an hour LOL!

[@nicknack191]

wish you continued with these interviews ... could have been a hit

[@hamstercommando42069]

16:45 the cameraman finally finds the shot he should have been using the whole shoot. Then he decides to move it around again, swaying to and fro

[@codypriceYouTubeAddednumbers]

15 years of failure. I died.

[@NobodyCaresALot]

That was nine or 10 odd years ago. Fortunately, he'll start making real money just eight short years from today.

[@SparkySINN]

Neil is such a legend. Post the full interview.

[@magritte128]

But Luigi, what about my mo-ney?

[@bloodrobot166]

Good show.

[@jsilence418]

Neil has a hot wife .I don't know which of these guys has the most arresting hair style.

[@Alcove_Dream]

He does?

[@mrpayne123]

When you reply to someone you should ask them a question, that will force them to give you another view in the reply (which nets you maybe a cent). Example: "I agree, Neil is funny. How is the weather there?". Just make sure not to offend them with a question. Though that question my seem benign, if they are going through a natural disaster it may be considered as mocking them. So make sure to do some data mining and weather pattern searches before you comment. You want that cent right?

[@PatrickMaliha]

I LOL'd at that one :-)

[@chrisbbbbchris]

I love seeing neil hamburger ( gregg turkington ) trying not to laugh.. so good, by the way i put his real name also just to get him more into the internet wave? idk nvm im fucked up right now

[@ratrat9392]

Please post the full version !

[@PatrickMaliha]

@hamstercommando42069 Yah, on some of the other videos we had sound issues, etc. It was an experiment that we tried. I truly believe if done today, we could make it work. but where you going to find a camera in 2012?

[@mrpayne123]

Very funny, thank you for getting neil hamburger

[@PatrickMaliha]

Honestly, it took everything I had not to LOL while I was interviewing the dude :-)

[@brendansullivan5302]

#GreggHead

[@PatrickMaliha]

@hamstercommando42069 My hair has always been the source of much consternation.

[@PatrickMaliha]

@MMBosstone737 I think I may have to do that, based on some of the responses. Just keep in mind - it could be boring.

[@mrpayne123]

You're smart, that's gotta be the easiest way to make a quick cent.

[@GGGeraldson]

My ex wife is trying to garnish the $5 so she can have money to buy condoms and have sex with god knows who....hahahahahaha!.....love you Neil!

[@zboys4586]

I want my Poe Tay Toes you forgot my Poe Tay Toes Where are my Poe Tay Toe ? How can I eat my Ham Ber Ger without my Poe Tay Toes ?

[@chrisbbbbchris]

HOly shit Patrick Maliha ! one of the best interviews i have ever seen. bad ass. any way i can help spread your virus? haha i mean basically help you get more likes not only for this but perhaps other websites? idk, i want to see more of neil hamburger and more ;-)

[@PatrickMaliha]

@hyenapeptic I have no idea. If I were you, I would share the heck out of this thing to ensure that this horrible tragedy no longer continue.

[@LynchyVidz]

very good interview! - was that a Masonic handshake? - is that a nose ring? - Neil pays $12 per hour for internet, not $20 , he's not dumb.

[@PatrickMaliha]

Thank you! And in answer to your questions; - I don't think so. If it was, the jig is up!! - No... just a large nose :-/ - TRUE!!

[@NobodyCaresALot]

@@PatrickMaliha lol

[@NobodyCaresALot]

It did look subtly masonic but I don't think Neil reciprocated.

[@Alcove_Dream]

What's up with the host's haircut?

[@jimmyjimbo666]

This is great. Should've been a real show :-.(

[@PatrickMaliha]

I feel this conversation has the potential to go on longer than the internet. Also, I don't think you should be reading an e-book version of the Bible that your priest recommended to you.

[@Doca]

@PatrickMaliha Please do, even if you don't get an overwhelming response i`d love to see the full thing, i`m something of a Neil connoisseur, the more rambly the better.

[@absoluteb22]

Harry and Tonto

[@PatrickMaliha]

Awesome idea! Thanks buddy! :-) So fuck nut, how's you're herpes? Sorry, I may have misunderstood your comment.

[@Qrayon]

Neil, you're getting ripped off. Cancel that contract and sign up with me. I'll get you gigs, and all you have to pay me is $175 per gig flat fee, which I'm sure you'll agree is a better deal.

[@thespacecowboy420]

OMG buy a tripod