"Toxic Positivity" does NOT mean being "too positive!" It's about controlling people. | Words MADDER

"Toxic Positivity" is a relatively new term but is struggling to take off as people often misunderstand the term. The real meaning of "Toxic Positivity" is to call attention to a form of social control and manipulation that pressures people to be unrealistically and harmfully "always positive."
After you watch this, I also recommend a TED Talk by Ella Lombardo on her personal testimonial of going through genuine trauma while being pressured to "be positive."
www.ted.com/talks/ella_lombar...
#toxicpositivity #workculture #corporateculture

[@imbored-7585]

I feel like a lot of people pressure you to be idealistic and pretend everything's fine and then accuse you of negativity anytime you're trying to be realistic, this happens to me whenever I state what's going on in the world .

[@gothicjesus]

I relate to this, im just trying to be realistic and everyone makes me feel like I'm a Debbie downer

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thanks for sharing! I am hoping this video can help a lot of people "push back" against that pressure. Life is hard, anyone who says otherwise is fooling themselves.

[@zit1999]

@@ChrisTheBrain Only because life is constantly pushing back against entropy, no? I'd say life is fatiguing, but it can be made easy and light.

[@MrGerryo70]

I think having the right attitude in most cases (issues, problems, events, etc.) can be very hard for everyone and even harder for some people; but doing it, can help a lot to make life easier or less harder than otherwise would have been for the person in turn. I feel like sometimes, when we're in an argument, we seem to react like if we were participating in a kind of dirty war, where the only thing that matters is to survive. So my question would be: why? why do we have to act like I have to win over your argument!? and why do we have to take it so personal and act like if the other person is trying to kill me!? when a person's opinion, is only that. Maybe if we find the root of the personal issues with each other's attitudes to start with, it might help us to be more able to have a discussion instead of an argument, and get a less painful outcome from it. 🤔🤔🤔, Don't know 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️ 😮‍💨

[@EvenTheDogAgrees]

@@MrGerryo70 Excellent point, to which I can only add one further question: why, after recognising these tendencies in ourselves, do we still tend to lose it in arguments, or do we resort to knee-jerk reactions? Why don't we recognise what we're doing in the moment, so we can throttle back and detach ourselves? Why is it always in hindsight that we realise we've overreacted again? And how do we stop it?

[@Krista-rt9ww]

You have described my son and daughter-in-law perfectly. I think they’re in their own little perfect world. I only wish the best for them but I cannot share one thing with them… how I feel or anything. it really hurts but I will let them go. Thank you for this video. It really puts things in perspective for me.💔

[@nyworker]

I remember when It was a kid, I had to get up out of a chair, walk over to the TV and physically change the channel. My Netflix now gives me suggested things to watch.

[@denzali]

At my store senior leadership would visit out of the blue and ask to walked through the product layout and business figures for the week/m/y. What got me pissed was you’d be expected to talk up the hits and wins positively but- they’d then negatively talk down your points and treat your positivity and naive and worse still- as lies or an attempt to conceal bad numbers.

[@timdrummatube]

You're a legend dude. Dont stop.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thank you!

[@Squallkicks]

DUDE, I was in a network marketing company for six years and they definitely embodied toxic positivity. If someone wasn’t succeeding, it was their attitude or doubt. NO NEGATIVE was the only way to be with them

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Glad you finally escaped!

[@razzle8140]

Great explanation. This concept blames the victim always for anything wrong. It's always the individual's fault.

[@gaetanomontante5161]

"A cup of tea and a bout of melancholy." I love the idea though for myself I tend to lean towards a cup of coffee and two ounces of sadness. Either way, it works fine and I thank you for making the case to begin with. Cheers ,,, or not, as the case may be.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

😂

[@arizonanative7409]

How about a soupçon of sorrow?

[@wulphstein]

I love the melancholy music at the end.

[@scottmcphee7714]

And the grandparents & great grandparents teaching this new era of another generation in the 1960's said quote 'positive vibes only' ✌☮

[@ericchin739]

Chris... you've become one of my top favorites. You're awesome!!!

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Aww, thank you

[@gdavidelliott]

He likes this term for it's nuance and complexity. I really do NOT like this term. If the term does not mean being positive, then don't use the word! He said the words "False" and "attitude" didn't realize he had better words for this syndrome.

[@ginabrogan1825]

Going to watch all of your videos. ❤

[@MrTooter66]

This is as down-to-earth as it gets!

[@SoulDelSol]

It's ok not to be ok

[@Prettyboyred336]

The movie (brain candy) it was against the law to be unhappy. Everyone was forced to take happy bills. The game, (we happy few) aslo against the law to be unhappy. Everyone in town forced to take happy pills by force of the law

[@madisonvillegas7198]

Thank u good sir

[@Suggsonbass]

I was already taken up by this video and then, THAT ending ! Such class. Made me wanna spin my Chet Baker LPs lol. Yours is fast becoming the best channel since discovering Sabine Hossenfelder a few years back. Please keep it up !

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thanks so much!

[@civwar054]

I just posted this to my Facebook page. I know alot of folks who need to see it... Thanks for such great work.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thank you!

[@insidetrip101]

Always try to use words good. ROFL I LOVE IT.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thank you! (Finally, a comment where someone gets the joke)

[@insidetrip101]

@@ChrisTheBrain Gammar is not so easy for most people (trying too hard makes you miss irony).

[@ericchin739]

Hahaha bro... the DS9 reference was RIGHT on Hahahaaha

[@ChrisTheBrain]

I just recently found out that the actress played both those roles. Blew my mind.

[@civwar054]

You nailed it, perfect reference. I laughed out loud.

[@Eyetellyourstory]

Brilliant! Thank you

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Thanks!

[@goodwood7247]

The algorithm needs to get its priorities straight and pump this one up - Thanks buddy! You have supplied me with the perfect ammunition to combat the endless onslaught of passive aggressive guilt-tripping manipulation from my in-laws who are wholly grounded upon a disingenuous pedestal of positivity!

[@ChrisTheBrain]

I'm glad it can be put to good use! 😄

[@ThatsWhat-She.]

YES! It's self gaslighting

[@ColinTimmins]

I loved that DS9 clip… chilling.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

One of the best villains ever, for sure.

[@RonLWilson]

I have never heard that term but I tend to be more on the cynical and not all that positive... other than the idea that God can make all things work for good for those that love him, but that I don't think is at all the same thing as toxic positivity, for even if things might end up ending well they might get a bit rough along the way to any ultimate happy ending.

[@DeliriousProductions]

What would you consider someone who encourages others to embrace healthy emotions? Say I have a friend who lost his father and he refuses to acknowledge it out of fear of the emotional pain they will have to feel. I control my emotions because that's just how my life is now. So, when I see people ignoring a natural response to an understandably awful event, I encourage them to feel as much of it as they can. Live through the moments of pain and learn from the experience. Overcome the inevitability and understand the core of said loss, change, etc. Not gonna say I'm a word wizard or anything, but I'm pretty good at steering people in the right direction through empathy. I still feel like it's still a form of manipulation. I suppose it would be comparable to a counselor promoting a positive outlook rather than that b**ch, Stacy, trying to separate her "best" friend's marriage so she can hook up with her man under the guise of the friend's "best interest."

[@ChrisTheBrain]

I would say, for those whom you have earned the trust, encouraging them to feel and express emotions is a wonderful thing. Boundaries should be respected, of course, and for some, fully "letting go" emotionally is often a matter of timing. These are nuances that take practice and awareness. As far as worrying about it being "manipulative" I would say - be a friend, not a hero. Give the help and encouragement people are receptive to, but never try to "fix" a situation or person. This is all just general advice, obviously I don't know the details of your situations.

[@DeliriousProductions]

@Chris "The Brain" , it's just an example. All is well, or so I see it :p

[@patientzerobeat]

That was some real good cantaloupe malamute at the end.

[@PakDigitalCountry]

Toxic positively 👍 lectures, thankfully Message is cool behaviour

[@CHIBItheSPARROW]

Does that imply a beneficial (fruitful?) negativity also exists and what can that be used for?

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Negative emotions have a purpose for sure. If you are bleeding, you should probably tend to that wound rather than just pretend you are fine. The same with organizations.

[@matthewhall6288]

I view all emotions as beneficial. They ultimately provide feedback about you and the world outside of you.

[@tylerdurden3722]

It's beneficial to remain grounded in reality, because its psychologically healthy and practically efficient. Sometimes reality is emotionally comforting and sometimes it's emotionally discomforting. This is a natural biological mechanism our body uses to influence out behavior. The usual coping mechanism for people with toxic positivity is to get stuck in denial, which requires engrossing themselves in comforting delusions...and that person typically wants others around them play along with maintaining these delusions. When one encounters emotional discomfort, the mind tries to go through the 5 stages of grief in order to come out the other side in a healthy way. Anger, bartering, denial, depression and acceptance is the normal progression of how the mind deals with things. Even small things. The mind needs to experience these things. Emotional discomfort is the mechanism the mind uses to push people toward pursuing solutions or accepting reality if options are exhausted. If one is constantly getting stuck in denial and lashing out with anger and barter when confronted with some discomforting reality, one will never make it to acceptance. Those denials of reality will just build up and to that person it becomes like being surrounded by landmines (landmines made of reality). That person tries to avoid experiencing discomforting realities by adopting a delusional mindset and enforcing "safe spaces" to avoid triggering their own mind's 5 stages of grief from doing the healthy thing.

[@nicholashpitts]

How do you verify your assumed radius value of earth?

[@zoran69ser]

good videos man, btw what your profesion ?

[@ChrisTheBrain]

I'm a professional smart-ass. (Seriously, marketing)

[@Kannot2023]

The best example of toxic positivity was communism, everything was fine in the media, abd if pointed to something wrobg you got arrested as an agitator who wirks against commin good.

[@ChrisTheBrain]

Great example

[@koenth2359]

'Always try to use words good.' Did you use that last word well?

[@ChrisTheBrain]

That's the joke. 😉

[@koenth2359]

@@ChrisTheBrain Omg I'm r/wooshed. Lol

[@ChrisTheBrain]

@@koenth2359 Happens to the best of us.

[@ryanporter4689]

1:01 oh stupid shit like Steven Universe and Pixars Inside out would beg to differ pal

[@leusmaximusx]

incorrect . positive is always good, there is no such thing as "toxic positivity " what you and your example are refereing to are negativity. The person doing the TP labeling wants to project individuality and as to appear superior to others , which really means manipulates others through their distress "toxic positivity " labeling should be banned , it denies what is true and just by stifling opinions that should call out crapiness negative emotions should not be fed but must be destroyed by positivity. of course , if one is hurt , they can cry but not for a long time and without adressing the cause of the pain. by giving positivity , the victim mentality can be shut down

[@Natnansa]

which episeode of star trek deep space nine is that clip from?