TRY NOT TO SAY HOL' UP 75

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[@countrycoffeecup7772]

Something illegal I got away with was stealing a door stop from a Mormon church. I didn’t even realize I stole until I got home. I put it in my bag, forgot about it, went home at the end of the day, emptied my bag and found the doorstop. I never gave it back, because it wasn’t worth the trouble as they probably wouldn’t miss it anyway. Imma bet no one even found out it was missing. I think I missed my calling as a burglar.

[@mramongs2231]

Average Jschlatt fan

[@countrycoffeecup7772]

@@mramongs2231 I don’t even know who that is

[@DR_L3G0]

My dad stole an abandoned Dunkin’ Donuts sign

[@countrycoffeecup7772]

@@DR_L3G0 “It’s not stealing if nobody wants it!” -Some rat, 2007

[@bryanergau6682]

⁰

[@cristinagomez3283]

1:30 Gordon is tired of chasing the lamb sauce so he's gonna make it himself.

[@grandparent3612]

gordon ramsey thanos confirmed

[@unicornlee3399]

Lamb Sauce (ㄴ v ㄴ)

[@cuntpoopoo2968]

i am sueing you for that C profile picture

[@michaelb.3006]

11:42 the most funny part about this is there’s no such thing as truly organic milk. First things first in order for a cow to produce organic milk you have to make sure that the soil has NO chemicals what so ever. This can be very difficult if you’re near a river and impossible if you’re downstream from a city. You also have to make sure their drinking water is safe and has no chemicals in it. This means no tap water. Next you have to make sure that the feed you get is organic which means the farm you get your feed from has to use zero pesticides and make sure that their soil is clean and chemical free. Next you have to make sure that the milk is put in a tanker that has never had regular milk in it (which don’t exist) and then make sure the milk isn’t put in a vat that processed regular milk before (which also doesn’t exist) not to mention there’s a probability that it’s just gonna get mixed with regular milk anyways which means organic milk is the biggest fucking lie on the planet. The way I know these things is my father worked on a dairy farm for 20 years. Mind you I’m not an expert like he is and he could probably add a few other details about this topic. Point is organic milk doesn’t exist. Sorry organic freaks but if you drink cow milk then you aren’t organic. Nut milk however may be a different story.

[@themanwhowouldbebrick]

Wait who would give a cow tap water

[@michaelb.3006]

@@themanwhowouldbebrick believe it or not there are a few dairy farmers who do this.

[@themanwhowouldbebrick]

@@michaelb.3006 why would you do that though instead of using troughs

[@michaelb.3006]

@@themanwhowouldbebrick I never said I did that. Also the farmers who do use tap water usually do use troughs as well.

[@themanwhowouldbebrick]

@@michaelb.3006 no I just meant why would anyone do that

[@EternallyDoomed]

Can we just talk about how a man went into a animal shelter in military grade gear ready to engage in a shootout to get his cat back, ngl thats some doom slayer shit right there

[@void.9763]

Or John Wick.

[@surfalcatraz9770]

@@void.9763 exactly what i was thinking

[@watertank505]

he found daisy

[@danquaylesitsspeltpotatoe8307]

David Beckham spent over 250K to look like david beckham!

[@ladyweasellou3367]

0:44 Admittedly, I'm not exactly a big fan of D.Johnson but if that comeback was truly him then I'm now a huge fan.... That was a great way to tell an idiot (aka DJ Kal.) he's being a dusche. lol love it!

[@Droidsbane]

10:28 If I recall correctly, Harry (the smarter of the robbers) was dressed as a cop at the beginning of the film, so I'm willing to bet that Kevin thought the cops were corrupt and decided to take matters into his own hands

[@xekeherendeen6300]

Like the Punisher?

[@MrMoorkey]

**Voice of Peter Weller, as Robo-Cop** - "HE'S A COP KILLER."

[@TheGavrael]

When the cops did show up he ran and hid under the bed, so yeah I'd say you are exactly right.

[@thedbdentity2102]

Fact. Gordon Ramsay was just simply expanding upon the meme of where is the lamb sauce

[@Eltar_]

2:37 I see the second, he has camo on, and hiding in the bushes

[@itsovermyhead940]

10:24 I'm sorry but I don't want cthulhu's 😺 for Thanksgiving

[@drydogg]

I've never smoked pot. I'm an alcoholic, not some dirty, worthless stoner. Been sober over twenty-five years. The first time I ever smelled someone smoking pot, I thought some dumbass had smuggled a skunk into the Rob Zombie show. When I mentioned it to my friends, they were, like, "No, John, someone's sparking a joint at the end of the row." I looked down and saw a haze, "Hmm. Smells like shit." I think I'd rather reek of Old Milwaukee and Jim Beam than pot smoke.

[@wildsavagefox2051]

Who asked?

[@drydogg]

@@wildsavagefox2051 Absolutely no one, but that's what comment sections are for, unsolicited BS and stupid questions.

[@charliemaddox5564]

Yeah well nobody ever ran over a kid while high on pot

[@drydogg]

@@charliemaddox5564 Because they can't get off the couch, let alone down the driveway. Alcohol has given us things, like the reach-around, the taser, pepper spray. What has pot given us? Hacky sack? Hilarious ring tones? Ultimate Frisbee Championship? It must suck to be the champion of a game that won't get you laid. However, fair is fair; you're right. If a guy at a ball game looks at you and says, "What the fuck are you lookin' at?" Is he drunk or hi? Yeah, he's drunk, or just a dick. I get it. All the greatest writers were drunks, though. Would you want to read a book by a pot head? 500 pages of why if you put glasses and a hat on your dog it looks like he could drive a truck?

[@Gtagpro651]

You eat children got me laughing out loud

[@afish5538]

0:28 ah yes...the sigheh

[@infantslayer7710]

4:13 did this guy seriously sensor fingers??

[@AurumFaber]

And what did it say instead?! 😂😭

[@myroomismycloset2065]

“If you’re not supposed to swallow gum, why does it taste so good?” Me: I KNOW RIGHT?! F my mothers say- “Ducking autocorrect” Me, processing: ..... wai- wha-

[@micaelstarfire8639]

17:34 Millennials: Why not both

[@hydraph4843]

That cute insult was S-tier

[@thomasmitchell2407]

1:27 If you open that business, it will never die.

[@aquabard6095]

14:25 the irl love potion ladies and gentlemen

[@seventyfourty]

12:18 the girls daughter was raised as her mother's sister, I don't remember if the youngest found out who her mother really was but I just wanna know who the hell got that kid pregnant

[@LizToll]

most likely against her will

[@seanvanderstruys5196]

She had a son. And a lot of suspicion was placed on the dad. Only one person could tell us, and I think she died a little while ago. The mother probably knew but kept quiet.

[@insert_kny_caharcter1501]

4:35 Boutta say this shit is nostalgic until i saw it..

[@BillCipher_OG]

Makes it even more nostalgic

[@michaelb.3006]

8:21 oh no we’ve heard of it. We are just better then them by not hitting back.

[@amanawolf9166]

Damn it, not even 30 seconds into the vid and I'm already goin' to hell for laughin' at the abstract art comment.

[@LaerielDraws]

10:21 what in the Cthulhu looking turkey dinner is that?!

[@bravewater5737]

😂

[@bene5431]

Octopus

[@andrejstojanovic5455]

4:12 bro censored fingers

[@viksreviews2891]

As of today (August 14th, 2022), 25 BTC (Bitcoin) is worth $613,065 for any curious

[@bravewater5737]

7:48 😂 11:18

[@MrMoorkey]

07:28 - When you buy John Wick from Wish.

[@OvertureTheHeartStealer]

THE ROCK LMAO

[@joaquinortega6071]

4:43 i do t get it

[@righty-o3585]

Danny Phantom doesn't die. His DNA got mixed up

[@retematic2351]

9:46 emotional DAAAMMAGEE

[@basicallyblobbity4226]

OMG I ACTUALLY FOUND ONE OF THESE IN THE WILD

[@brickbraker5033]

7:35 based lol

[@ChickenKing42069]

The only difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini is I don't have a Lamborghi in my garage

[@GriffinSPENG]

There is also the difference in number, and price.

[@stickpfp6347]

10:27 I’m pretty sure the telephone lines or something were down so calling wouldn’t work

[@UnrealStew]

I got the age of empires 2 conquerors expansion on my computer still.

[@FurOutlet150]

5:39 wait till he sees the walls where the younglings war

[@ExDixionconderoga]

13:43 He liked animal rights

[@DarthFunky_]

“DJ Kale”

[@road2dawn26]

I'd be so rich, I'd have $911

[@SupremeBanana123]

I Just Ate A Really Yummy CHEZBURGER 🍔

[@Decayed_air]

Noisc

[@porchmanthree1339]

well i just ate a really yummy di-

[@bobbytheferret6809]

Ok.

[@Toastrrrr]

@@porchmanthree1339 🤨📸

[@thatoneslushieaddict]

baked beans

[@TimeSurfer206]

11:09 Well... I just hope there's no mandatory retirement age at this company, then.

[@littlemeows6549]

10:20 ooh this is a hard one but probably $1,505,264,2683

[@deezmama2309]

🙂

[@zgaming8721]

dawg ru ok

[@bane5519]

4:42 brick on a nigga??

[@the_purple_potato7942]

I’m shitting myself

[@Sherudons]

I am not sure if that one at 4:30 is an insult, I never tried system shock 1 or 2 so I might have missed something...

[@real_mushroom_hunter]

4:42 brick on will smith?

[@gtree812]

Yeah didn't get it either sorry dude. Was out yesterday picking Chantelle lol. Loads here in Sweden

[@gtree812]

Brick on a dick.

[@drydogg]

Children are terrible no matter how you prepare them.

[@sarthakmohanty997]

2:38 I don't get it 🤔🤔🤨🤨

[@estoericaferret]

23:29 ...I mean, I used to get away with way more than that not that long ago...Like half a damn cart worth of shit. For legal reasons, this is a joke.

[@GeldJupiter364]

4:36 hol' up

[@kevinwebster7868]

That damn George Washington not knowing about dinosaurs is so annoying. The first dinosaur fossils ever discovered was in 1677. The first dinosaur fossil discovered in American was in 1854. Don’t know where this 1824 thing comes from. But it’s safe to say George Washington had at least heard of the concept of dinosaurs although the term didn’t come about until 1841.

[@michelleresistance]

An iguanadon tooth was discovered by a woman in England and her husband got the recognition. It might not have been an iguanadon.

[@khrys_anlu5305]

4:30 HAHAHHAHAHAH....dude what the f*ck?

[@Bubbathegreat]

12:56 I WAS CHEWING GUM!!!!

[@wildsavagefox2051]

Once again the word finger is censored. Why? I only noticed it during the Eldin Ring video but now I can't unhear it.

[@Gamers-ko7jz]

HOL UP

[@thetruesora]

what's the bottom right one at 16:30 ?

[@Koscacio]

12:18 hol'up

[@TheThreeDGrasshopper]

13:10 Please tell me she is leanin' in a 5-legged chair at an angle being ill.😵

[@farianblinder9130]

Xavier is the best.

[@cephalotac2765]

2:34 their's the statue and i'm less than 22

[@shogun_sanji]

I think someone under the table giving him the b***job

[@cephalotac2765]

That's more likely

[@willardfasto4494]

04:12 for children and fish what? Did it just say...?

[@revinevan87]

why does this voice hit the C in popcorn so loudly. it's like popKKorn

[@Moemanthe]

10:15 I wouldn't have the money, she would

[@onelefthanded6928]

At 0:08 the one who's cheated is the husband not the wife

[@ExDixionconderoga]

12:11 She started having periods at 8 months

[@peteralexandergraae2830]

8:20 in the name of self preservation, it might be better to not hit back. No matter the gender

[@zorropotatz]

1:40 society has fallen if that's crossing the line

[@civwar9090]

Would someone please explain 23:00 ?

[@bookish4415]

It’s funny to me how Americans think we are so nice and innocent and submissive in Canada meanwhile we think Americans are just jerks. (I’m sorry it’s a joke, I’ve met plenty of nice Americans)

[@surfalcatraz9770]

no wonder u apologized

[@bookish4415]

@@surfalcatraz9770 Yeah that was sort of a joke too

[@yokam_.]

We wanna gta memes bro😂

[@ExDixionconderoga]

8:48 Not with that attitude.

[@drxgod6293]

[@Dr.Hate420]

bro really went alternative john wick on that one

[@skrillZUPOLARCOINS4599Parjol]

7:35 nothing wrong

[@fusselfloh07]

7:33 some one gotta make that into a Game Like Here Titel: saving private kitten

[@jrr7031]

Hallo, is Jef Bezos.

[@scottdixon2505]

Did you really censor fish fingers? Really? I mean, really?

[@kh-ld7537]

0:33 This joke isn't working

[@thuelfiqar300]

Somebody help me i didn't understand 4:41

[@aleemali3835]

Same bruh

[@Not_The_Simp]

Glad I’m not the only one

[@bulldog8209]

Dude I was thinking brick on a rick but that wouldn’t work

[@pi4vp]

what the duck 😅

[@LordRazer3]

1:33 ...ok so? There going to die anyway so why not to someone that will make them delicious?

[@xavierh4527]

how about 👁👄👁

[@Castratedbydeepfryer]

4:43, i dont get it

[@nacho_man3679]

Dont worry, youre not the obly one

[@olddays5656]

A "brick on a dick" that elf on a shelf meme

[@nacho_man3679]

@@olddays5656 ahhhhhh okk

[@wtfcomments2585]

Brick on a prick

[@turrarusgzg]

10:19 a lot

[@idunnowhattowritehere]

20:56 What the f*ck is this piece of sh*t?

[@grandparent3612]

0:28 "muslim" and "god" dont usually go together i get its a meme, but if i remember right, their gods name is Allah, not god

[@zgaming8721]

nah they the same thing, Allah is god in arabic

[@elizabethmacey1989]

Allah is literally their word for God...read a book

[@zgaming8721]

@@elizabethmacey1989 it’s the Arabic word for god, not their name for god. Read a book.

[@drewskyyy]

...which is God.

[@ATFDoggo]

Wait a minute

[@scruffy5812]

Hol’ up

[@OmarAhmed-wf2in]

well i am here early

[@Riddle_Goblin]

4:43 can someone help me in stupid

[@roringusanda2837]

Brick on a ....D. ick?

[@microwave856]

someone else replied but it got deleted so idk

[@Mazen_V]

0:33 i just wanna say that the marrige just for sex is sin in islam soo i think thats offensv

[@roringusanda2837]

But that business actually does exist. I agree it's not right, but it is legal there.

[@Mazen_V]

@@roringusanda2837 in the muslim countries its illegeal

[@roringusanda2837]

@@Mazen_V not in all of them. It goes on in some, that are more corrupt.

[@hijisfriend9030]

The best reply te that meme for someone who wants serious answer, Contract marriage is forbidden in Islam. You can't marry someone if the intention of marrying; Business relation, Sexual relationship only(usually heirship), and etc. This kind of marriage usually also has a deadline.

[@Mazen_V]

@@hijisfriend9030 that what i was trying to say but thx u said it more professional than my answer

[@dragongaming427]

fard

[@LXF_GreySweats]

ahh i 899th like so close to an even number 🤦‍♂️

[@TheCorazonPawprint]

12:23 *Oh?* 0_0

[@doggmasta6452]

mh wow a mix of disgusting sex and slaughter humor... beeuurrkk ciao

[@yuppys]

who ever came up with the idea that a narrator would improve these vids?? Damn how annoying, djeeezzz

[@a_monkey_hater]

Ah

[@Rakib-47_]

You disrespect our religion in 0:29

[@Castratedbydeepfryer]

even better

[@omarguled8268]

@@Castratedbydeepfryer wym?

[@themandals7273]

Please don't explode.

[@scottdixon2505]

@@omarguled8268 even better.

[@roringusanda2837]

No, the people doing that are the ones disrespectful of the religion. And that's a true story, there are actually short term marriage granted...legally. corruption is rife in those places, so business like that flourish.