Trying to stop emotions is slowing down your anxiety recovery

If you’re trying to stop your strong emotions, you might be getting in the way of your own recovery. In this article, I’ll share why stopping emotions isn’t the answer and offer actionable steps to help you manage your emotions more effectively.
Why Trying to Stop Emotions Doesn't Work
Trying to stop emotions doesn’t teach you how to navigate them. Emotions like guilt, anxiety, sadness, and even anger are part of being human. Instead of trying to avoid them, the key is learning how to manage and respond to these emotions effectively.
Avoiding Emotions Is Avoiding Growth
When you avoid emotions, you miss out on the opportunity to build mastery over them.
Instead, the goal is to learn how to navigate emotions without letting them dictate your actions. Avoidance may give temporary relief, but it won’t help you build long-term resilience.
How to Stop Avoiding Emotions and Start Moving Forward
1. Commit to Feeling All Emotions
Start by accepting that emotions are a natural part of life. Instead of resisting or avoiding them, make a commitment to feel every emotion-guilt, sadness, anxiety, and all the rest. The next time you feel a strong emotion, pause and allow yourself to experience it. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel this way, and that the emotion itself isn’t harmful.
2. Build Emotional Awareness
If you avoid emotions, you might miss out on understanding them. Recognizing the emotions you feel-and why you feel them-is crucial for your growth. When you notice an emotion rising, label it. For example, say to yourself, “I’m feeling anxious” or “I’m feeling sad.” By naming the emotion, you create space to observe it without reacting impulsively.
3. Stop Making Emotions the Enemy
Your emotions aren’t the problem. The issue arises when you try to get rid of them or let them control your actions. The goal is to practice having emotions without hyper-responding. If an emotion makes you feel uncomfortable, remind yourself that it’s not something you need to solve or fix. Instead, let it be there without judgment. Over time, this will help you build emotional resilience.
4. Challenge the Belief That Emotions Are Dangerous
Many people fear that feeling certain emotions will lead to negative outcomes, like falling into depression or making bad decisions. But avoiding emotions only reinforces this fear. When an emotion arises, challenge the thought that it’s dangerous or unbearable. Ask yourself, “What would happen if I allowed myself to feel this emotion fully?” You’ll likely find that the emotion passes without causing harm.
Examples of Navigating Emotions Instead of Avoiding Them
Let’s break down some common examples of how avoiding emotions can hold you back, and what you can do instead:
How Can I Not Fear Depersonalization or Anxiety?
It’s natural to want to avoid feelings of fear, but the solution isn’t to get rid of the fear-it’s to take action while feeling it. When fear or anxiety arises, instead of trying to eliminate it, take it with you into the situation. Reflect afterward on how you handled the fear and where you can improve. This builds your ability to manage fear in future situations.
How Can I Stop Feeling Sad After a Bad Date?
It’s okay to feel sad when things don’t go as planned. Avoiding sadness won’t make it go away. Allow yourself to feel the sadness without judgment. Focus on being kind to yourself while you experience it. Reflect on how sadness is a normal response to disappointment, not something to fear.
How Can I Not Feel Guilty After an Intrusive Thought?
Guilt is a common response to intrusive thoughts, but trying to avoid the feeling only makes it stronger. Acknowledge the guilt without trying to solve or fix it. Observe the guilt as it rises and falls, while staying focused on the present moment. Over time, the intensity of the guilt will fade.
How Can I Do Exposure Therapy Without Feeling Embarrassed?
Exposure therapy often brings up feelings of embarrassment or fear. These emotions don’t mean you’re failing. Allow yourself to feel embarrassed, and practice exposure despite the discomfort. Remember, emotions like embarrassment won’t harm you. The more you practice, the less impact they’ll have on your actions.
Regulating Emotions Through Practice
Think of managing emotions like a skill you develop over time. The more you practice, the better you’ll become at navigating strong emotions. It’s not about avoiding the emotions, but about learning to ride them wisely.
Your emotions are like the bubbles in a carbonated drink. When you pour a soda, the bubbles rise and eventually settle. In the same way, your emotions will rise and fall naturally if you allow them to.

[@sarahkmiller]

This episode came at a fantastic time for me! I have been sitting with higher levels of anxiety, and I was searching to neutralize the emotions. Love this education!!

[@GirlDad189]

Thank Kim! Beautiful and Intelligent!! ❤👍