Stabby Stabsalot | Tuesdays With Stories

[@MarilynJ.]

Came out on a Monday, just like my father!

[@Tplantsurvivor17]

Came on my father just like his father. Thanks for coming out🎉

[@adammateos8394]

I’m gay! My dads straight!

[@WKRP187]

He can't say that after last night!!

[@davidperez5089]

Never gets old, how do you do it????

[@neechie3o6]

You’re in the wrong place then.

[@rogaru]

What a twist

[@oghash4912]

My dad's grandson's father is gay

[@headymitch]

“I’m not going to be one of these comedians that always talks about their kids”. Then proceeds to do it more than any other comedian

[@MB-pf7gv]

It’s weird how being a dad changes you. 😮

[@sislater6334]

Most men are dads at some point in their lives and they love funny parenting stuff

[@andrestein6022]

It's literally the worst thing that can happen to any comic, they immediately think they have a world of material no ones ever touched before, and it's always the lamest shit ever. If Shane has a kid I'm gonna bud Dwyer myself

[@ankushmamgain8227]

You are doing the same thing that people on twitter do when they dig up someone's old tweets to expose their hypocrisy as if people's opinions don't change as they grow old

[@andrestein6022]

@@ankushmamgain8227 let me guess, you're a parent

[@j.yahnke]

Everyone is gay. ~Kurt Cobain

[@isaacr9893]

And then the duck fell out of his bag

[@huntmine2343]

Joes hairline is receding faster than Ukraine

[@jadong8989]

He'll be Putin on a wig soon

[@orangeyewglad]

It's wild to me when people make comments like this about hairlines. I don't even see what you're talking about. lol You must have the hairline of a 3 year old Asian because his hair looks perfectly fine and he's in his fucking 40s...Also you know that a widow's peak is a genetic trait and has nothing to do with a receding hairline right????

[@sislater6334]

​@@orangeyewgladGood point I removed my likes from the other posts!

[@seppallerberger9991]

​@orangeyewglad did that comment hit a little close to home?

[@anthonytcg2407]

@@orangeyewgladbrother, you can have a lot of hair and have a botched hairline; now go kiss your mothers father and thank him for your 5head

[@MrChalac]

This is one of the funniest podcasts that exists and it blows my mind it doesnt have more subscribers

[@cloudbloom]

Couldn't agree more there fatty

[@BrickTop06]

It's literally the only pod without guests, which is the main driver for clicks/ the algo. I've been listening for like 8 years and still love it but it's no surpise the views stay low.

[@Khareeee]

Especially for almost 600 eps!

[@tmjmccormack]

The king of content’s basketball story right here is such A tier gold content and there are hundreds of hours back in the anal too

[@Tplantsurvivor17]

Wurd

[@BrandonKovAch]

Just remembered how gay my dad is

[@PoochysUncle]

Joes entire movie idea is just kids stabbing people in a park and he can’t stop talking about it

[@Betty-Boop809]

My God, Joe is like a jealous girl when Mark mentions other comedians accomplishments, he gets so snarky and condescending.

[@spurs4159]

14:38 "So $660 plus $120 is $880."

[@CamahaWR450]

So close yet so far

[@kyledanger45]

He's retarded

[@danielwestereng155]

Rosa parkland. Epic!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

[@marccox70]

"When I see you in heaven". Just slides those gems in like it's nothing. Mark Normand is a comedic genius. Love this pod.

[@cloudbloom]

Most zingers per minute than any other podcast in the game👌

[@necromorph2301]

Joe and Marks dads need to start a pod and spill the beans on these gaybies

[@cloudbloom]

Best part of a Monday night i can tell ya that right now🤌🤌🤌

[@patrick815]

Your mind will take shape of what you frequently hold in thought

[@clarencethomas01]

Gay dad gay dad gay dad

[@ClockHoliday]

Neurologist be like

[@BattousaiOP]

It's funny when they're talking about stand up comedians who hosted SNL in the 90s they say you can't count Dana Carvey because he is former cast member.. but they mention Chris Rock over and over and it's like it never clicks he's also a former cast member lol. It's like they completely forgot.

[@mikecooper8283]

Keep thinking marks drinking a tub of ben and Jerry's 😂

[@AleksandarIvanov69]

Thank goodness we got this on Tuesday too, cause Kill Tony was roooough this week 😂😂

[@energyexperience6813]

Agreed

[@HJ-jy7fw]

You GOTTA see Mark’s fart on David Cross’ pod. He was not happy.

[@ClockHoliday]

He’s not happy about allot of things these days

[@darryldawkins3553]

The way I remember it, Dane Cook performed the first "Stand-Up" monologue in SNL history.

[@ClockHoliday]

Then the next day he took his girlfriend to her HS prom

[@JoshuaMehojevich]

Joe’s point about the pizza lmao

[@gulgathraxa1548]

Stabbot and Costiletto

[@cloudbloom]

Nice one

[@hermfest]

Sam paying for pizza is payback for his birthday disaster

[@howhigh0521]

Joe mentioning that he “did jujitsu” is funnier than any joke he’s written 😂

[@DylanLukeLosasso]

theyre having chuck list the comedians that have hosted SNL over the past 10 years??? is there really nothing else at all to talk about?? jfk i just heard chuck honestly say "my production is what makes it good!" thang God joe called him out on that! so insane!!!

[@BrickTop06]

Chuck's done a great job keeping this train on the tracks since joining. He's a normal ass dude, and he's here in the comments, in 3, 2...

[@SBb374]

Martin Lawrence. The reason comedians stopped hosting for a decade. It only aired once and never again. It was funny.

[@ClockHoliday]

He dramatically improved butt hole care for many needy women

[@ThomasAndersonPhD]

The "stab and run" horror film idea sounds reminiscent of the "knockout game" stuff that was a real thing in NYC.

[@thedude1316]

Being a father is the best thing ever. Who cares about these stupid over rated TV shows and Movies. You'll never miss it.

[@Daisy45320]

The Eric Clapton reference during the baby top absolutely killed me! So good, Mark!!

[@stephenholmgren405]

Tuesdays With Stories is brought to you by BlueChew - for children

[@tsedubgyatso]

This is your weekly reminder Mark wears a hair piece

[@mikolfarley]

4:49 4:57 Marks face... You totally shat on that 1 buddy! 😂

[@amberdoty1392]

Joes horror movie - “Puncture Wounds”

[@skidontheroad3072]

I have an idea for a name for Joe's horror movie: My father's gay.

[@haldeman]

Did anyone notice Mark's "easy" after Joe said Thai food? That joke will live on

[@brocktonma.1816]

How many minutes till Joe makes it uncomfortable.

[@Dubbinalways]

List watches msnbc for his news

[@tuesgayy]

mark acting like him and his nepo wife aren't just gonna get a full time nanny..

[@sislater6334]

Cleaners and cooks are more handy than a nanny, as Joe knows tiredness is your enemy as a parent.

[@EvoMonsters]

Wait his wife has money? Didn’t know this, he scored! 😂

[@ClockHoliday]

I’m applying dressed as a pretty lady

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

I have pms so I gotta say: I love you, guys

[@cloudbloom]

I don't have pms and I love these guys

[@courtneyg678]

same💚

[@BrickTop06]

​@courtneyg678 tell Mark about the two of y'all. The whole synced up thing has to be the most referenced factoid he autistically fixates on.

[@nickm724]

“Get outta here with Tom Arnold” 😂😂

[@NWStudiosJ]

Am I gay? Find out!

[@aaronbradley]

30:47 Guys, I just watched the Kill Tony filmed right before the election. Tony was certainly freaking out like never before. It was hilarious.

[@ClockHoliday]

I hope they play-“guess what mystery pharmaceutical drugs Mark haphazardly consumed”

[@pumpkinescobar591]

Norm Macdonald hosted SNL in October 1999

[@pt2hays]

Mark with his fresh Air Max's.. Nice.

[@bt3768]

Tuesdays just made my Monday better!

[@benharrison1019]

We got the real origin story of Mark's "I'm Kevin Hart"!!!!

[@FULLHOUSE0627]

Louie was pumping it out 😂

[@matthewlundquist2152]

Queer ball killed me lol

[@RedBernie]

Been on a horror movie kick lately. I would love to see what Joe and Louis could do with the genre.

[@halfamanandthecolonel]

At least Joe's kid will soon be at the same age to have the same diet as him.

[@1stTimeCaller]

33:10 either trans or a robot

[@cgo7395]

It's funny to hear that Burr killed with his SNL monologue when it kinda bombed on the actual show.

[@marccox70]

Aaaand Joe went and ruined it. Dammit.

[@lleok]

this pod is better than most specials. these two kill me in conversation me in conversation

[@BrickTop06]

I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers?

[@AfternoonFocus]

36:39 "they're clearly illegal... and they voted for Trump." Uhm, if they're here "illegally," they can't vote in a presidential election. Mark, I'm a fan, but this was one of the stupidest things you've ever said on camera.

[@Ge0rge_0rwell]

And your comment is the most ignorant thing I've heard. The Biden DOJ sued to keep "undocumented" immigrants on voter rolls. They lost most cases, but they were still allowed in certain counties.

[@AfternoonFocus]

@@Ge0rge_0rwell HAHA. Total BS. Please tell me, SPECIFICALLY, what U.S. counties allowed undocumented immigrants to vote FOR THE PRESIDENT (not for local elections, FOR THE PRESIDENT... which was what Mark was talking about and what I called out). Also, the fact that you, a right-winger, are using George Orwell as your username/profile pic/whatever is hilarious. George Orwell was a total lefty. Here's a real quote from George Orwell, "“Every line of serious work that I have written since 1936 has been written, directly or indirectly, against totalitarianism AND FOR DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISM, as I understand it."

[@colleenann772]

Comedy! ……numbnuts

[@joebelow9700]

The McDonalds massacre was a mile or two from the San Diego/Tijuana border.

[@tmjmccormack]

My lord the king of content can tell a story. Clip that basketball story and feed it into an AI cartoon smithereeny and post it

[@fatdora9179]

41:52 "Your on the road your masterbaiting to a picture of your father" 💀💀💀 "Steve"☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

[@JoupJohnson]

Wild pizza order

[@jasonszeto7790]

These pods got better recently after on this 🛋️

[@Noahvelli21]

I commented this on the Kenan WMBD episode and I’ll say it again: I think Mark Normand is Top 5 comedians(fame -wise) that haven’t hosted SNL… competing with Theo Von and Tim Dillon just off the top of my head. I think if Mark just asked to host SNL, they’d let him host SNL lol

[@yawn2992]

No one cares. Stop posting it.

[@BrickTop06]

He's amazing, don't get me wrong but he is horrific at acting. It's kinda a running joke at this point because of how autistically rigid and stiff he is when he attempts to be anything but himself.

[@prince13896]

Boy, I am jonesing for a new List spesh. When does the water break on that puppy?

[@jackthehumanofficial]

Mark! Torrington was so lit! Cheers g

[@Tunes_Teacher]

For the record, the current HHS Secretary (Xavier Becerra) is a crooked California lawyer and career politician, not a doctor. He failed miserably on both ObamaCare and C-19, and is best known for his avoidance of doing any actual work. RFKJr has spent over 40 years as an environmental lawyer fighting for clean water, farms free of cancer-causing pesticides, honesty on nutrition fact labels, and preserving Native Lands from destructive pipelines, among many other philanthropic endeavors.

[@Betty-Boop809]

Nice try

[@TYBG85]

​@@Betty-Boop809No, literally everything they said is factual. Now you can debate if it's a bad thing or not but that is just the reality.

[@Betty-Boop809]

@ I’d love to be able to be so delusional - it must be a great existence

[@johannaarmone3195]

Joe is and always will be a total moron.

[@johannaarmone3195]

@@Betty-Boop809 delusion is not believing facts. That's you, apparently.

[@Jorge-oc3pl]

"I'm sure you won't." 😂

[@willingtooppose7919]

1:02:36 Hey Mark ! My ex girlfriend is half white, half black . We called her "Coffee Double Cream" ! She loved it as she was called half breed when she was a kid > Newmarket , Ont Canada

[@simonp8699]

Great ep, the way Mark ties his laces is proof he's not from this planet

[@stinkmunky1]

Mark will give himself pink eye from the mic farts eventually.

[@guybrushtwood]

Mark gonna be going to turkey real soon 👨‍🦲

[@colinoliver]

u make $30,000 a month on patreon plus ad revenue but joe complains about money

[@Betty-Boop809]

I think he constantly compares himself to Marks status

[@SamBassComedy]

Look at these Johnny Salamis right here!

[@JP-rj1cd]

DONOVAN MCSTABB

[@Brandon-mx3zx]

Norm hosted

[@derek.seaborn]

Virtually all doctors and scientists (not all) are either ignorant to, or corrupted by, the institutions that fund the studies and dictate the medical guidelines. Western medicine is great at treating emergencies, broken bones, etc., but they’re horrible (damage-inflicting, in fact) when it comes to metabolic health, chronic conditions, and how to be truly healthy. RFK is not a scientist or a doctor (good thing!) yet he’s more informed on metabolic health than most actual doctors/scientists. Need a “certified physician”? Here’s a few who agree with most of what RFK stands for: Ken Berry, Casey Means, Paul Saladino, Shawn Baker, and a long list of others. Anyway, something to think about, ya queef!

[@cloudbloom]

Sing it sister!

[@najjahkareem3407]

15:32 joe : "im sure you wont"

[@MFxDOOM4]

Sweet fam bro...My mom's a muzzy ..my dad's a furry... my sister's a lezzy and my brother's a queef

[@breakercassidy6946]

The shooter in Texas has the same last name as the town Joe grew up in. Also Joe’s movie idea kinda sounds like The Dirties

[@5after4am]

Rosanne began as a stand up.

[@602jcastillo]

And according to list Jerry only hosted because of his stand up. Not some show he quotes constantly. Pearl Jam stinks

[@malicioustactics6846]

Blue Jay Oakerson 💙

[@impossiblegems]

@1:00 “halfsies”😂

[@richardslimdog5701]

Nothing better than a gay Monday night

[@p3rpNZ]

this is just off the top of my head but im guessing the with bells on will be referring to with speed like an ambulance or fire engine or cop car etc when they got the bells on to let the other traffic know to get out of the way!

[@dersville]

Joe’s side profile must be mesmerizing.

[@ZenoSama_]

I’m only here for the clinkers.

[@johnnyblaze420]

My presidents gay

[@BrickTop06]

In Soviet Russia, gay father calls son gay.

[@kwais616]

Episode title should have been Donovan Mcstabb

[@justinwhitten5975]

It's not pizza unless it has pepperoni

[@AlilStucc]

30:52 when somone sells a can of coke you can say they got can-sold 🃏👾😎🎧

[@willingtooppose7919]

1:06:54 Hey Mark ! The Hyman in Gashville ... Smells fishy to me !

[@brittnis7294]

9/12 is my birthday 😂 one of the funnier things about me

[@joogabelly9255]

Lol Rosa Parkland

[@dominicgreen7532]

When’s protect our parks next?!

[@jarnoverheij4219]

7:24 I refuse to believe Joe has ever set foot in a gym. No difference between a dumbbell and a barbell? Or maybe he just goes for the studs in the steamroom.

[@patrickmcclelland9972]

Me gay #1

[@darrenfitzpatrick6490]

lmfao

[@lucianod1767]

Blue gay oakerson

[@craigy2tins895]

Norm! He got fired then came back to host. Xx

[@gavindea4347]

lol Thai food and pizza.