UBER/TAXI Drivers Confess Their SINS

[@friendlyjordies]

Share your horror stories of being a Taxi/Uber passenger HERE. Keep 'em short and sweet, makes them more likely to be included. ALSO, these are my final tour dates of my current show: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show BALLARAT, BENDIGO, ADELAIDE. Get your tickets.

[@bettrfastrstrongr1708]

Fire

[@Meme0Lord0Jeff]

This will be good

[@Uotre]

I once had a passenger threaten to shoot he then pulled out a fucking water gun he was off his rocker but I got a 10 dollar tip so it was fine

[@ausernameidk]

No

[@mikespike2099]

My friend got lucky a few times being an Uber driver … he is pretty average in the looks dept but banged a few above a average chicks from Uber ride hook ups. usually it was the last chick to go home after hens nights 😮 🐥… something about those nights gets woman moist and horny! …. And yes once was in the Uber car 🚗 🍆 😋

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

Hey Jordan, good on you for reading my story. Really bummed the crowd out eh. The murdered driver's name was Andrew Mordowicz. I'm in Townsville now rather than Adelaide, so probably can't make it to your show lol

[@SWtaervdesn]

Good enough commemoration 💔

[@DecoyTwo-yv4tn]

I was left with no words on that one. My god…

[@whitewolf6605]

Would not be surprised if it was some Austrailian SF guy who did that.

[@sebastianahrens2385]

A fellow professor Tosspot enjoyer?

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

@@sebastianahrens2385absolutely

[@_MIEW]

Given that Jordies is still remaining "awfully silent" on the topic of lawn mowing... I believe it would be fair compensation to make all those Jims Mowing goons and gardeners confess their sins.

[@_letstartariot]

It is quite suspicious he ignores the lawn servicing industry..

[@jeremykhan887]

I bet he's just avoiding the topic because he's one of those freaks that mow in a circular manner instead of back and forth.

[@g4nked]

Oh there are some stories out there 🤣

[@calmauric8218]

I'm keen to hear it.

[@Wifflebat]

​​@@jeremykhan887i just drive my ride on around the yard until it looks nostly the same length (yard is sub 800m2)

[@blinky.5078]

I was coming back from a mate's 21st birthday party in one of the rougher parts of Tassie and I was picked up by my driver who seemed cheerful enough for a 2am 30-minute Uber ride back into the city. He turns around to greet me as I hop in the back seat and I can see his face covered in bruises and cuts, with blood soaked into the collar of his shirt. I'm possibly the drunkest I have ever been in my life at this point so I think "fuck it" and ask "What happened, mate?". He explains that he was seemingly hate-crimed by a "meth-y white couple" for "stealing jobs" and that his Pakistani accent was annoying them. Long story short I was drunkenly consoling this Uber driver on racism in Tasmania and how it's linked to the state's poverty and our shit education system, all whilst trying not to throw up. Good times.

[@frankvalentich5410]

Oh god. I'm so glad I left that prison island shithole. It was always full of cases like that. Horrifying stuff.

[@local_authority]

What a legend

[@calmauric8218]

Sounds like a safe ride home in Tassie. You are one lucky fella

[@chickenlittle5095]

Speaking of Tassie and our high percentage of drop kicks, caught the Metro home from work last night at 10pm and half way home I intervened in a near on knife fight on the bus. Told the 16 year old girl not to do it as she would end up in big trouble. Her response? ‘ I got away with it last time. Stabbed a c&nt and was looking at 15 years but cause I am a kid, I got off with nothing’…… 🤯. Yeah. The racism from the younger generation here is out of this world….

[@ferretyluv]

That’s awful. I remember a British tv show did a thing about the history of Australia and they were shocked how there’s seemingly no racism. Even as an American, I had to laugh at that. Of course no one is going to admit to being racist on camera.

[@theuglywolf2536]

I got an Uber home from my parents place on Christmas Day a couple of years ago. The ride goes smoothly until he asks if I'm okay if we pull into a petrol station to fuel up. I say it's no worries and he asks if I need anything from the servo, but I decline. He fills up, goes in and pays, comes out with a pastry and two bottles of water and offers one to me. I thank him and take it but don't drink. After a few minutes he asks if I'm gonna drink the water, and I say I'm not thirsty at the moment. Truth be told, I don't accept drinks from strangers but mostly wasn't thirsty at the time. He kept asking why I wasn't thirsty, remarking how hot it was, said he paid for water for me and I should drink it instead of wasting it. I finally decided to pretend just to shut him up and picked up the bottle, noticing some issues. The cap was already unsealed, and I noticed that it was cloudy and fizzing, and there was a couple of pills i the bottom, fizzing away. In that moment I didn't know whether to be angry that the guy spiked my drink, or impressed that he just thought he could chuck a coupla pills in there and hand me the bottle. I put the bottle in my bag and tell him I'm not thirsty and he starts getting more and more agitated, before finally dropping me off. I had to do some laps and enter someone else's property to ensure he didn't work out where I lived. I called the cops and long story short the bottle tested positive for some kind of roofie, they used the Uber data to get the guy, check his dashcam footage, the servo footage and show him putting pills in the water. Uber kindly gave me a refund and a $100 voucher.

[@timmat8029]

That's wild!

[@ZACKRAMPAGE1]

Jesus that’s cooked

[@LRM12o8]

"We're sorry someone tried to drug and SA you, here's a voucher for our services (not payable in cash), in case you feel adventurous again.", WOW I hope this had more repercussions than just that. Hope they fired this guy and he's looking at some jail time at least!

[@da4127]

@@LRM12o8I mean, it’s not Uber’s fault they guy decided to drug someone that day, if she wants proper compensation, she has to sue the driver, it’s a nice gesture on Uber to give her a voucher nonetheless

[@javasiege]

@@da4127it is a nice gesture but also the irony lol

[@TheCrivanMobiel]

I once had two girls in the back seat of my taxi, the fare was $10. One of the girls pointed to the other and said ‘for 50% off she will show you her tits’. I turned around and politely said ‘I’d rather have the money thanks’. Never had such a dirty look from a girl in my life.

[@Aspire198]

Based

[@highestqualitypigiron]

So 5 bucks? Wow I guess her self esteem must've been in the dumpster

[@zenosyeetgalvus]

BRUH LMFAO

[@NoMusiciansInMusicAnymore]

@@zenosyeetgalvus Less discount if wearing brah

[@LRM12o8]

@lucianleesonja5352 or it's not about the money, she just gets a kick out of it and they only asked for a 50% off deal to disguise her exhibitionist nature.

[@darksnakenerdmaster]

As a teenager, I used to need to catch two buses to school. One day, I missed my bus and this nice lady paid for an uber to get me to school. At the time, Uber was relatively new, so I was paranoid that it was a kidnapping the whole way, one hand on my schoolbag and the other on the door to leap out at a moments notice. Guy was quite nice, but thankfully very quiet. My parents were not pleased when I told them at dinner of this good deed. I find it all the more amusing that they regularly use the service and I avoid it as much as possible. Oh how the turns have tabled.

[@dama301]

Good story but the "turns have tabled" at the end really brought this over the top

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

The amount of insane drunk people they have to deal with is insane

[@BigL.10]

Insane

[@Tha3rdworldghost]

Insane

[@nontrashfire2]

that's one of the main purposes of taxis, keeping drunks off the road

[@TihetrisWeathersby]

@@KLondike5 Don't get paid enough for that

[@sheshd]

​@@KLondike5that's the good thing about uber though, you can actually choose not to. Just drive at a better time.

[@SeventhGod77]

Last guy was telling a completely serious and harrowing story and jordies couldn’t stop giggling trying to read it. That’s the content I’ve come to know and love, keep it up jimmies.

[@michaelcarey]

I remember the Adelaide taxi driver murder in the news. Andrew Mordowicz's murder does indeed remain unsolved.

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

correct, that was him. in Klemzig

[@dead_corpse_0531]

J

[@joshuabollenhagen4220]

I'm from Adelaide, I never heard of it so I googled it. Just wow seemed to crazy a story to be true

[@MrMojo23100]

I was never a taxi driver but I worked at a hotel in the Brisbane CBD as a stores-officer. My loading dock was on a back street behind the hotel, it was also where the taxi drivers would wait while waiting for jobs. I've seen drivers get into full-on fights over stealing fares, slapping each other through the window; with one diver physically pulling a customer out of another cab because "it was HIS customer." The best was when a Transport Inspector would randomly show up as all the cabs would flee like cockroaches running for cover when you turn the lights on.

[@goddepersonno3782]

incredible they really are the rodents of society

[@bibsp3556]

Used to do a lot of deliveries in trucks to hotels etc and they'll look at you like you're the dick when they're all parked in the loading bays because it's easier for them.

[@MrMojo23100]

@@bibsp3556 So true, many times I had to tell them to move so the truck could get in. They would get pissed if things got busy and there were delivery vans parked in "their spots."

[@bibsp3556]

@MrMojo23100 then the aforementioned roach scattered when a parking inspector rounds the corner.

[@LRM12o8]

@goddepersonno3782 road rats, as I call them. Every job has its unique skills that the people experienced in the trade all have and that sets their work apart from what a layman can do. Except taxi drivers. They're consistently among the worst and most dangerous drivers I encounter on the road, despite their job literally being to drive around 24/7! 🤦‍♂️ If cab drivers could drive, they'd be driving a bus or a semi truck! Those guys know how to drive, not only terms of controlling their vehicle and observing traffic laws, but they're usually also very forward thinking in terms of how to best make traffic flow and prevent congestion so it's fastest for everyone. Meanwhile cabbies are a lawless bunch that are only concerned with how _they_ can get on as fast as possible and in doing that often end up clogging the road. Oh, and if they had any other skill of course, they'd be working a better job...

[@ScarletRebel96]

Zoo workers / wildlife patrol confess they're sins , with all the crazy beasts in Australia im sure that'd bring some good tales.

[@local_authority]

"I got mad at a co-worker this one time in the gator pen, long story short haven't seen him since that day"

[@krissteel4074]

Jez. I'd fight a shark before sharing a car with 'rage fap goblins' any day

[@Reg_The_Galah]

I have a story about wildlife parks. The Alice Springs desert park has a invasive bird cage where you can drop off feral birds species for the park rangers to use as food to feed the native wildlife. Anyway when I was a lad I use to trap turtle dove pigeons and regular drop them off to the desert park. I collect so many birds my cousin that works there who’s job was to euthanise the birds had stored so many of them in boxes, the ones on the bottom would get squished from the weight. At the time he tells me all this he had no idea I was the one dropping them off, he was wondering where the hell they all came from. The cage was utterly pack full of pigeons, I think the most I got in there was 31. Needless to say I cleaned up my local area of all invasive turtle dove pigeons.

[@ZepsyPepsi]

I had a bloke who ordered a lift from the Melbourne Cup to Werribee (Smashed). On the way there he seemed chill, talking about escalators, his dirt bike with no plates etc. At the end of the trip he says "yo I was Lowkey gonna rob you bruv but your cool, i like you, get home safe cuzzy". I didn't know how to reply to that

[@jesstopfer1]

I was fifteen and coming back from a babysitting job at 1am and got a taxi because that seemed safer than walking through a park (missed my bus and the next one wasn’t for ages). Taxi driver insisted I sat in the front and then started talking about how kids these days are growing up too quickly and how in his day young women would remain virgins until they were married. Was weird but not the weirdest thing a random man has ever said to me, so I just nodded along until in the middle of his rant about the “loose morals of today’s youth” he suddenly lurched towards me and grabbed up my upper thigh. Immediately launched myself out of the car (thank god we were at a stop light) and ran home- turns out for a 15 year old girl a 1am stroll in a pitch black park is safer than a taxi. This is why I prefer dogs to people.

[@mlgfails2727]

Just wait til she meets a dog named princess

[@poeepee1715]

@@mlgfails2727 will be grabbin that thigh and getting dragged away with it that time

[@jazzabighits4473]

looks like he was hoping you were loose

[@testacals1]

People really have no shame huh.

[@LilYee-vs2sv]

@@jazzabighits4473 Gross dude, she was 15

[@wallywallyoxenford]

Once went on a family holiday trip to Scotland. We'd saved up for years to go to Edinburgh, and once we landed we headed to airport curb where all the taxis were just chilling. Guy gets out, helps us put our bags in. There's four of us, so it was a pretty decently sized van for a taxi. I don't know how he did it, but this man proceeded to no clip through the streets of edinburgh at a rate only comparable to the flying car in Harry Potter. I'm almost positive that at least twice we were airborn. The streets are narrow cobblestone there, and there's two way traffic, but he still managed this. At one point he muttered under his breath about another old lady driver being a dumb cunt, and in the same breath cheerfully asked more about where we were from with genuine interest. What should've been a 15 minute drive out of the airport due to heavy traffic was at most 5. I'm pretty sure we phased through a few buildings

[@mlgfails2727]

U were graced by the presence of a god

[@hiddencrow7907]

Talented storyteller, for sure.

[@williamroberts9077]

Idclip almost as good as the old Iddqd.

[@wattiespotatoes6401]

I was in an Uber recently when the driver told me about a funny experience he had with a previous passenger. My driver used to be Rastafarian, and as such smoked a bit of green. The previous passenger’s dad turned out to also be a Rastafarian too and they chatted about it. When arriving at the destination, the previous passenger told my driver to wait for a minute, and a minute later she proceeded to give my driver a huge clump of marijuana. My driver was hit with a predicament, to keep driving with a clear stench of weed in his car, or go home and smoke it… He went home and had a good time, and tbh who wouldn’t.

[@t_ed2521]

I once had a bunch of edibles kick in as I was getting into the back of an Uber only to find that the seatbelt wasn’t working. Not wanting to cause a fuss, I sat there, absolutely off my gourd, holding the belt buckle in place for the entire half hour ride to the train station.

[@XHINKEU]

I ordered an Uber and the driver seemed normal enough until I asked him where he was from. He then went on to say Libya. I then asked him what he did for a job and he straight up said that he was a personal driver of Muhammar Gaddafi. He explained in detail about the cars and the ludicrous amount of pay he received and explained in depth about what it felt like to kill a man and what that man looked like. Guy was a legend though but when he mentioned that last point I sorta just looked forward and wondered if I’d get run over if I jumped out of the car

[@zenosyeetgalvus]

Bruh holy shit

[@schizophrenicgaming365]

Yeah but he was supposed to protect whoever's in the back of his car in libya, so actually, that's the safest you've ever been

[@XHINKEU]

@@kazbah1217bro I thought that too, but he went into the emotional side of killing people and when I say in depth I mean in fuckin great depth of what a hole in someone’s head looks like

[@_letstartariot]

I think people who do housekeeping need to confess their sins. My sister has SEEN things. Her stories rival mine, an ER RN.

[@RuinedSilver]

colored sweat is 100% a thing- its called Chromhidrosis and can come in a surprising variety of colors, and it is a very legit medical condition. but you can also have psuedochromhidrosis, which is colored sweat after coming in contact with certain dyes or chemicals, kinda like how certain medications or foods can change what color you pee is. so TLDR- yes green sweat goblin man can exist, but I do NOT know what chemicals he's been ingesting/swimming in.

[@madpie5147]

thank you for this piece of cursed knowledge, i'll make sure to inflict it on others

[@TheDarkDreamz]

Couple months ago, I caught an uber to the station that actually had me debating if I needed to send my location to my boyfriend. Generally Ubers stop on the opposite side of the street and wait for me to cross the road and get in. But this one made the extra 2 minute effort to drive up the road, take the round about and do a perfect parallel park outside my house, get out of the driver seat and open the door for me with a medieval flourish. I'm a young, asian woman. He was a tall, chubby white man that could have been an option in a 'Choose your discord mod' fighting game. Anyway, courtesy is a woman's armour so I thanked him, and he told me to not worry about it because I was his 'passenger princess' and it was his job to make me smile. Hmm. I get in, and he asks where I'm goin and what I'm doing. I say that I'm going to a birthday in the city with my friends, and he immediately offers to drive me to the city at no cost because he needs to get there anyway to get more clients. I lied that my boyfriend was waiting for me at the station, and he deflates a bit, before going into a full trauma dump about how his colombian girlfriend dumped him last week and that he doesn't believe in love anymore Half way through lamenting that he spent 20k on her and how she could be so cruel to break his heart, I give him the good ol' pep talk about loving yourself first and I get to the station. He drops me off, and asks if he can keep in contact. I make up some excuse about how I don't use socials much and got the fuck out of there. Anyway, I tipped him 3 dollars

[@mlgfails2727]

Ur were his Passenger Kitten

[@SWtaervdesn]

You were handled that so well 🤝🤯His personality seemed beyond reason.

[@SWtaervdesn]

@@mlgfails2727 Get out of the comment section.

[@mlgfails2727]

@@SWtaervdesn no

[@LRM12o8]

You tipped that creepy sob after all that?! 🤯 I wouldn't even have gotten in that cab and I'd definitely bailed after that "passenger princess" thing! I fear you might be too kind for your own good... The sentence "courtesy is a woman's armor" showed me how f#cked up a worryingly amount of straight men are. Having to pretend it's all dandy while you're terrified or at least deeply uncomfortable, just so he doesn't get upset must feel so sickening. 😵 As a young gay man, I've seen my fair share of creepy older men, I can't imagine having to deal with that anywhere you go. 😪

[@zenosyeetgalvus]

My Uber story is that the guy locked me in the back and demanded $10 extra citing some fuel surcharge or something. I didn’t carry cash and the Uber had been called for me by my disability employment service provider so I could go home lmfao I basically dissociated until we got to the destination

[@ratchet3789]

Software engineer/game dev in Brisbane, every Uber I take where I tell them what I do for a living results in them telling me their fantastic app or game idea. I had a guy lock me in his car until I gave him my number so he could call me about his shit app idea. Never heard back from him. Also had a guy who had just earned his real-estate license try to sell me homes on my way to look at apartments to rent.

[@LaMereACaniche]

That's why I avoid the job talk, same experience here mate. It's fucking insufferable.

[@adamrice5099]

Same in the US. Don’t brag to someone who wasn’t able to achieve what you are doing. Leeches gonna leech

[@tglaz1]

Do you have any dev jobs going at the moment?

[@LilYee-vs2sv]

‘Game dev in brisbane’ you work at game loft don’t you lol

[@ratchet3789]

@@LilYee-vs2sv No, but I have coworkers who have

[@kizmetmars]

Two stories: The one where I was a passenger was when I caught a 30 minute ride. We spent almost all of it talking about Yugoslavia. And by we I mean the taxi driver spent most of the time talking. The guy was easily twice my size and became, admittedly, very emotional. I spent some of the time trying to sympathise with him and not come across insincere. But, most of the time I hope to get to my destination without being killed. 9/10 ride, he didn't overcharge me. Wasn't the passenger but, I was walking home around 2am when I hear a guy, a girl and a guy slowly driving a taxi all yelling at each other. The taxi driver was yelling obscenities and threats at the girl, the guy was yelling for her to go home with him, I presume they knew each other. The girl was either weighing up her options of which POS she wanted to go home with, didn't GAF or was too drink to understand what was going on. Anyway, I got home ok, so as far as I know, everything was all good.

[@BreadManWithAPlan]

Ah yes taxi drivers, the people holding Australia together

[@mikespike2099]

You mean the visa processing carpool 😅

[@Sniperboy5551]

Ironic how foreigners hold Oz together

[@Minato_Akiyama03]

Bruh, some Taxi driver almost hit me and when I honked at him, he flashed his Taxi sign light at me like, bruh???

[@LRM12o8]

@gakidomo9561 well off course he did that! That's how they say: "sorry, I can't drive for shit, hence I'm a cab driver". 😂 I swear, no matter how easy a job seems, every person with experience in that job has at least one skill they can do better than most other people, making them a better fit for their job than most people. Except cab drivers. Their job is literally to drive around all they, yet they're the worst drivers on the road. And apparently they don't have any other skill either, because if they did, they'd probably be working in a job that corresponds to their skills, rather than being a menace on the road as a taxi driver. I respect all jobs, except those road rats!

[@kyanrussell4844]

I was on the way home from an 18th birthday with some of my rowdier mates. My mate proceeded to yell out “Oi, rip it around this corner!” To the Uber driver from the backseat. I turned around and told him to stop being stupid but then realised that the Uber driver and just chucked the fattest hand brakie around the corner towards our house. The biggest cheer was let out by the car and the driver earned himself that 5 dollar tip.

[@nhodgie]

My old man was a Taxi driver in the 1970s and had his shift partner murdered in the cab. He also had a passenger similarly try and stab him but he managed to kick him out of the passenger seat and flee in his car.

[@bon12121]

I knew a taxi driver that was egged one time and vowed to never be left destitute again. He carried a six-pack in his console at all times. One time he has a fair and is egged. He asked the fair if it is ok to egg the shit out of these people and they agree. The eggers are in the oncoming lane and he speeds up and slows down to prevent them from merging. All the while egging the shit out of these people. The fair had the time of their lives. And the eggers never saw that one coming haha.

[@astra3310]

FriendlyJordies is awfully silent on how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood

[@jordanajsmith5614]

Me and my partner got a Uber from a comic con in Brisbane to our hotel that was probably only a 15min walk away. I had been cosplaying all day and said fuck it I ant walking. Needless to say however I was still in full cosplay, which was the bone armour set from monster hunter, with a giant bow. So naturally when I get in the car, many questions are asked about it which was to be expected. I mentioned I had won that round of the contest and would be going onto the next round in Brisbane. He then asked my partner is he would be going with me which we respond no, he has to go to work. He then proceeds to give my partner a 30-45mins lecture about how he should quit his job, not even know what his job is, to go with me to Sydney. When we got to the hotel we worked out he had driven in circles for about a hour to keep talking to us. It’s Uber so it not like he got paid any more or anything.

[@jordanajsmith5614]

For anyone curious I went on to win the Australian championship of cosplay that year and a few months later my partner did quit his job 😂😂😂

[@uzbekistanplaystaion4BIOScrek]

​@@jordanajsmith5614so you're saying he was right ye?

[@jordanajsmith5614]

@@uzbekistanplaystaion4BIOScrek yes. He was right

[@intothelight5619]

Worked until 12am in Surfers Paradise on a friday night , and got an uber pool. Pulled up at cavill ave to grab the corider and a group of girls maybe 18 or 19 were holding their wasted friend. They open the door and throw this poor girl in. She asks if theyre coming and the friends, very annoyed, just say "No. Were staying. You're going." and slam the door. At a red light, she jumps out, leaves her phone and walks into oncoming traffic. I didnt want to leave a drunk 18year old girl alone on a dark back street so i got out too, got her off the road, and followed to make sure she didnt die. At one point she asked "Who's your stud?" and to this day im not sure what she meant by that. and i still got charged the full fare.

[@douglassmithe9799]

'The murder case remains unsolved to this day.' Mate, it was clearly Johnny Cash! 'I shot a cabbie in Adelaide just to watch him die.'

[@XaviRonaldo0]

9:56 SA prides itself on being the only non convict colony (technically Victoria is too but a lot of convicts moved there). Yet they have some pretty ducked up things happen there. This thing and the Snowtown murders just to name a couple

[@Vivianblue.]

The Family.

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

rumour was it was a Leb gang

[@LRM12o8]

How ironic that the only non-convict colony is abbreviated to SA... 💀

[@Arakasi0]

This is why Uber should be illegal. If you're gonna put up with this shit you have to be paid more.

[@bibsp3556]

Ivw gone back to using taxis

[@lokelaufeyson9931]

You can write a book based on the situations you get into as a uber driver, free inspiration while working :)

[@LRM12o8]

Their business model of declaring their employees as "independent subcontractors" / treating their "independent subcontractors" as employees in workload, but not in pay and benefits should DEFINITELY be made illegal, I 100% agree. If you commission someone to work for you on a regular (in this case daily) basis over a long period of time, you should have to treat them like your employees, no matter what the contract paper claims they are, because they're DE FACTO acting as your employee. 💁‍♂️

[@Erikson1997]

There was one Uber ride I took one late night, I was heading into work, at the time I was working night shifts. The Uber driver pulled up to my house, I then went into the back seat and heard dubstep playing in his car very low. A minute into the ride he started turning up the music, not a fan of the music I put in my headphones and ignored it, the Uber driver saw me put my headphones on and proceeded to turn it up even louder. After 10 minutes or so I realized he's been playing a 30-second loop of a part of the song, every 30 seconds he would click the spotify app to have it replay the last 30 seconds... everytime. The music cut out and you can see his phone was getting a call from his Mom, when he answered he said hi to his mom, the mom sounded concerned and very upset. She started speaking arabic, but then the father then started speaking on the phone sounding even more upset. His father yelling in english "You shouldn't be driving after you took your medication." I started recording audio of the conversation as I wanted to know what they were saying later on. The Uber driver then tried to play it off, and he eventually dropped me off 3 blocks away from my destination. Afterwards I called Uber support and received a full refund, when checking my recent rides it wasn't there. After a couple days passed I had my collegue listen to the recording and learned they were talking about me in the back seat saying if I know Arabic and the driver said no. The father started stating his license has suspended and he should come home imediately or he will call police and report the car stolen. While my colleuge was listening to the rest he refused to tell me what they were saying after, just saying the Uber driver was crazy.

[@JillianKershaw]

Two weeks ago when we had torrential rain, called a taxi. Driver called me and asked me to meet him somewhere else firstly it's raining sideways and secondly, I don't know the area .Then we we got close to the destination, he said " you can get out now " even though it was still a block and a half away and still passing down. I flat out refused and made him drive me to the train station entrance. His job is to take me from A to B, but he struggles even with that

[@michichuuu]

11:20 it would be a 200k reward if you can find information that leads to a conviction for the unsolved cold case. Would be one hell of a video!

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

thats at least twelve youtube clicks worth yo!

[@wattiespotatoes6401]

I was on a long uber trip stuck in traffic with an uber that had recently immigrated to New Zealand and he spent the whole trip taking swings at Indian people. No kidding, at every chance he could, he would start ripping into them… I was asked if I like curry, which I do, and when asked if he liked it he responded that he hates curry and Indian people because they smell bad. When asked about what jobs I had, he started calling them all scammers. One of the most weird Ubers I’ve been in and one that will surely stick with me…

[@williampaul8874]

BRUH, as a stage lighting tech I DIED at the "Jordies discovers the service industry" line

[@4LayersOfStrength]

(2:45) Matthew Cox's vehicle was found at the Rockhampton airport. This makes me question the accuracy of this particular confession.

[@bbiigggggg]

Yeah he drove his wife's car to the airport, so it's a totally made up story!!

[@Codewordthecerealkiller0]

Last one meanwhile is 100% true

[@arthurmichell3527]

I love how this channel goes between incredible brave journalism and light entertaining nothing

[@billymccracken5254]

I once had an Elderly White South African taxi driver, take me and my mate back from town one night in Gladstone QLD. We asked him about the cricket, as SA and Aus had just recently played a series, where he said 'The problem with South African Cricket is that theres too many blacks' Rather than call him out on his racism, me and my mate (both very intoxicated) decided to keep asking questions to see what other cooked things he could say. And boy, werent we in for a shock. He ended up telling us stories about how during aparthied, he would sit on his porch on his farm and shoot any black person that came within shooting distance. I dont remember an exact number, but he claimed that his body count was somewhere in the late teens. I had never felt more afraid and uncomfortable in my life. Used to catch Taxi's a fair bit when i lived there, and only ever saw him the once. Guessing he was fired

[@DirkLasermaster]

My dad drove taxis in WA. On occasion I'd ask for a ride home while he was working. I put my bike in the boot and he decided to pick up a fare of like 3 people. I ended up sprawled out in the boot over my bike and it freaked out the strangers lol

[@LRM12o8]

Wow, dad of the century, for sure! 🥴

[@JillianKershaw]

Was in Perth for a work convention, was running pretty late. Got into taxi, driver was rather archaic, he drove is around for a very long time and then pulled up and admitted he didn't know where he was. I think at this moment he realised he had dementia and needed to quit working. I felt heartbroken for him but being my first time in Perth had absolutely no idea where I was either ( this was before smart phones)

[@crypticutopia7228]

As someone who is from Adelaide, the Adelaide story is the most Adelaide thing I've ever heard

[@PAPO1990]

Most Uber passenger stories are just going to be; "the driver decided it was too far and cancelled half way there" (seen this multiple times)

[@IAmDollop]

Honestly, I've much prefered taxis recently. Ubers consist of multiple drivers cancelling on me because they're too lazy to do what I'm willing to pay them for and then an awkward car trip with a man, with one airpod in, muttering under his breath to his friend on the phone

[@bibsp3556]

They'll accept a job and drive 20 minutes to get maccas while you wait it's some bs.

[@neonblack211]

for a second i was like "wow some woman threw up in the back of your cab big deal..." if only I knew how quick that story would escalate

[@crazyyobbo]

As a resident of adelaide I can certainly say that a taxi driver randomly being killed like that is not at all surprising for south australia

[@memejeff]

Great video mate. I once rode with my parents (father is fully blind and has a handicap reduced fair card.) As soon as we entered, the driver claimed he was faking it and said he owed him money from before. The driver almost became violent. We left and he called the central to avoid it in the future. Two weeks later my parents were far away and got a taxi and the same guy was in it. They now barely ride taxi's.

[@fino2852]

Was heading into the city for a night out but unfortunately the traffic was rough and the 20 min journey turned into a 40 min journey. This didn’t stop my Uber driver from having some fun though. Driver on multiple occasions farted and proceeded to put all the windows up except for his own. teasing me as the windows on the passages doors had been locked from his controls. Me being too tired to argue just reluctantly held my breath until he granted me with some mercy and put the windows down again. This happened multiple times while stuck in traffic. Later on in this journey he proceeded to drive in between lanes on the west gate bridge while road raging anyone that beeped him and tried to pass. He would then go to swerve at them before yelling out the window. Had to give him 2 stars though as he was very polite at the end of the journey and apologised for the delayed trip. Good effort from him after hotboxing me.

[@NEPAAlchey]

No way in hell I would do Uber or drive a taxi. I don't want my back to strangers who can just murder me at any time. Rope, a knife, a gun. You are SO vulnerable. Pay isn't even good

[@gnomevoyeur]

Wow! That was some serious Adelaide / SA / Snowtown level shit!

[@ktothebeesknees]

FINALLY! So. Right before Ubers took off in Australia.. I called for a cab home after a mates housewarming. Idk.. 2-3am. Taxi rocks up, the driver is pretty nice. My partner and I get in the backseat to go home. As I'm sitting there, I notice there's this weird stuff on the seat. It's kinda like dirt but not dirt? I don't worry too much, get home, pay the driver, seeyalater. I get inside and I'm still thinking about that car seat. I then have a look at the back of my skirt, and this "stuff" was all over it. Like.. stuck into the fabric. It's at this point I realise immediately that it's dried boogers stuck to my skirt. The seat I sat in the cab was behind the driver. The dude must have been picking his nose all night and flicking the boogers on the backseat. The unsuspecting backseat that I sat on. It was such a gross feeling and I've been scared of booger seats ever since.

[@Omegavision79]

Phew, for a moment I thought you were going to say it was faeces

[@Sk0die]

I have unlocked a new fear, cheers mate

[@wagwam89]

Jordan Shanks looks like an Aussie version of Ken

[@aslkdfjhg]

I always make sure I sit in the seat directly behind the driver and breath manually

[@golevka]

Damn, Mr. Joaquin Phoenix, you look different without the mustache. Keep it up with this "friendlyjordies" character, people seem to really like it

[@dhenderson1810]

Friendlijordies looks like Joaquin Phoenix? Well, he is a bit of a Joker. (I'll get my coat).

[@Fay7666]

I was taking a ride to the airport, paying with card. Chit-chat with the driver and he quickly asks if I can pay cash. Well, turns out that right after dropping me off, he was going on a booty call from someone that he met a few days ago on a ride from the airport. We go to an ATM, then he goes triple-digit speed towards the airport. I feel like Crazy Taxi looked tame compared to how he was driving. 5 stars, wished him luck.

[@SL-ze6su]

I think he was going to buy drugs

[@LRM12o8]

Triple digit speed? Do you mean km/h or mph? 💀

[@jazzabighits4473]

Absolute chad lmao. He was probably rushing to see a hooker, hence asking for cash

[@tomfrost6049]

Never used Uber. I must align with grandma's more than the youngins of today... last time I caught a cab it was like 2020, most nights after the club I have just relied on the old shoe lace express. I'd just walk the 12kms home after the last train had left because it was only 2am and "not that far"

[@LRM12o8]

Ngl, from the moment I saw the word "youngins", I switched to reading your comment in the voice of an 80-something year old grandma in my head. Way to make yourself look old! 🤣👍

[@julz_7773]

Wow what a dark ending, googled that last entry and yes it did happen. From Adelaide to gangland USA for one night

[@theconvictedquokka]

Drank with micheal cox at the local 3 days before he fucked off we heard about it on the news and all our jaw fucking dropped

[@LittleHerdaz]

How is the gaggle of women post pre-drink so universal 😂❤

[@clubequintafalcao]

Tbh catching more taxis again. The price gauging from Uber often makes taxi’s heaps more affordable in busy times.

[@AussieHuus]

Was in Brisbane, sharing an Uber with my cousin and her husband en route to my Mum's 70th birthday. Uber bloke picks us up and has to navigate Milton Road at a very busy time. As I'm from out of town, my cousin is telling the driver to go straight ahead and take a right turn at a street much further ahead of where logic (and Google Maps!) says to go. Old mate (he's a lovely bloke but English is not his first language, nor does he have much of a clue about driving) trusts Google Maps instead of her advice and turns into oncoming traffic. The Uber gets hit by a 4WD that has thankfully braked hard and only hit us around 40kmh. Fortunately no one was injured, but the Uber car (a Camry from memory) was not in good shape. We check everyone involved in the incident is OK and call another option to get to the party. As we were leaving, I remember seeing old mate, very despondent with his head in his hands, and feeling sorry for him, but at the same he could have killed us due to blind faith in Google Maps (it's not always your friend).

[@PieOfEpicness]

That last one was just waaaaay too sad and now I'm very bummed out

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

still preys on my mind bro. I forgot to mention that was the last taxi shift i ever did

[@itookallthenames]

@@wombatusmaximus1788oh, man!

[@deathkorpsgrenadier2419]

Coming back from a Royal Blood concert with my cousin, we took an uber back home. Started off rather nice, but at about 10 minutes in, another uber cuts our guy off, and he, understandably, gets pissed off about it. He hastens up the pace to catch up to the other uber, who seemed to be middle-eastern. He then went on a rambling spree about how these people come to our country without a driver's licence and get jobs in which the entire job itself is *driving*. Now, he was extremely racist about it, but fuck it, so was my cousin, and I was even worse, kek. We have a particular word for those people here, we call them "monhés" (moh - nyes, not exactly pronounced like that, but close enough). So the conversation essentially started off with "those fucking monhés are a menace to everyone on the road" to "this job fucking sucks" all the way to "soon as im done here, im going drinking". Fun lad, really. Very much done with his job. Literally the only uber I've taken in my life. Will consider taking one again as that was very fun. Love from Portugal, you posh Aussie prick.

[@groom643]

I swear, These guys have seen some serious shit

[@angrypossumsx1259]

Waiting in court one time I sat through a case where a passenger had been caught taking a dump in the back of a taxi. Everyone in the room was laughing except the poor cabbie and the arresting officer and the case was dismissed as it was ruled that a taxi is NOT a public place when under hire.

[@duke9049]

1:29 As a Mechanic myself! completely agree 👌

[@tekunova5984]

Not my story, but my parents' story. They were out drinking with my aunt and uncle and were very much overserved, so they decided to take an Uber back to our condo instead of walking the 15 ish minute walk back. Everything is going alright for the first few minutes, and then the driver blows past the street our condo is on. They just assume he's going a different way and don't think anything of it. A few minutes later he turns onto the highway, and my dad asks him if he knows how to get to our condo, to which he replies yes. He drives 10 minutes on the highway before getting off and heading back in the direction they came. At this point my dad was drunkenly telling my mom and aunt that they should be ready to jump out of the car while my uncle and him took the wheel, fearing the worst might happen to them. After a total of about 50 minutes of driving basically in circles around our condo, they finally arrived. Not sure what was going on with that to this day.

[@guesswho2778]

i was with my gran out shopping and we called a cab to get back. an hour and a half and three calls to that taxi service later we were still there and getting rained on. so i decided to get an uber. the uber decided to go sit around the corner and when i asked him where he was and then explained where i was he drove past, pointed in a direction towards the car park area and the dissapeared. when i looked at my phone to find out where he had gone, he had canceled the tip. got charged a $10 cancellation fee for that.

[@FishmongerJones]

I think the goblin in the fist part might have been a dude I went to highschool with

[@millennialboomer6780]

What a rollercoaster of an episode

[@NefariousPear]

This has got to have been most spooky episode. Cleaners were bad, but it felt like there was at least a degree of separation between the horrible shit and our point of view.

[@kalebnolan8343]

Damn I thought that last one was just a movie plot, if that happened that’s fucking wild

[@cksupreme]

Dude next we'd have to do Uber/Taxi RIDERS. I've got some insane stories about some of these drivers as someone who's ridden a lot, and I'm sure there's plenty other like myself as well. Edit: I just got to the end of the video- great minds think alike, aye Jordie? ;)

[@jamese4109]

He said at the end of the vid that that's the next topic

[@cksupreme]

​@@jamese4109Lol yeah I ended up going back and editing my comment once I noticed that, pretty funny.

[@drwobbuffet7153]

I drive taxi in wisconsin I went to a kwik trip gas station when a wily eyed black appears from the bushes runs across the road gets in my cab he say he needs to go to the emergency room I ask how bad is it and he looks me dead in the eyes and says his ass is bleeding at this point all I could do was floored it to get him to the er

[@Sir_Uncle_Ned]

I took a taxi just last week and they have really stepped up to the challenge posed by Uber and similar services

[@timmat8029]

How so??

[@camreez1012]

I used to bartend and an old timer named Hal I used to talk to a lot, a friend really, told me how he drove taxi in Hawaii in the 80's. There was a call to pick up in a dodgy area and a native driver told him it would be best if he took it instead of him. That guy ended up getting murdered.

[@snowfort3638]

Day one of asking Jordie to make a teachers confess their sins video

[@Meme0Lord0Jeff]

This is always a great show!

[@johndeaux8815]

Incredible how that guy fasttracked a mans post-nut clarity by asking one question 😂

[@goodisgoog]

Unsolved random murder in Adelaide? Checks out

[@bigdude101ohyeah]

You've gotta do posties and couriers. I mean Swift and Shift have already essentially covered a lot of it, but I'm sure there are plenty.

[@knutfarmer]

ordered an uber home from work, opened the door to an Instant wave of stench and the greasiest driver ive ever seen. spent the entire drive listening to the guy talk about how his last car got totaled during an uber and how his girlfriend tried to convince him to stop driving. we got to the drop off and the guy tells me "now to go get my license renewed" all smiles. gave him 5 stars, felt like he needed a win

[@thunderouslighting7278]

Somehow just by hearing that the last guy didn't take a passenger, I knew, shit someone died

[@neverforgetjubjub]

It was valentines day and I'd been dumped by text message the day before. A friend invited me to town to cheer me up so I caught a cab. The dude was super chatty and kept joking that I must be going to meet all my valentine lovers. My phone started ringing and i knew it was spam so I let it go. The dude asks if I'm gonna answer it and I don't know what came over me but I said it was my parole officer trying to find me. It was a very quiet ride from then onwards.

[@pencilshavinggs]

had a few too many drinkski’s at my mates 18th, was pretty much blackout drunk on his bathroom floor when he discovered me. Being the noble gentleman he is, he called me an uber which I was not prepared for. After stumbling to the automobile I did a “taccy” vomit on his window. Uber driver wasn’t impressed as I spent the ride home dry heaving in the backseat to which his response every time I did so was a slight grovel. Literally made me hose down his car when I got home, didn’t make it inside either. Woke up at 11:30 with the hose still on.

[@chazadanga]

Jordies, keep your word. Get the tattoo!

[@heyitseyevan]

jordies: casually exposes corrupt officials also jordies: does normal youtube content

[@rileybonkers9716]

Best thing to come back to from working all day and half alive ^^

[@JillianKershaw]

Caught a taxi after recently moving into an apartment. Turns out taxi driver had lived in the same block and was able to tell me where the laundry was in the building ( we obviously couldn't find it)

[@ShinyRanger47]

3:34 actually rolling 😭

[@FireBallZ24Gaming]

That last one, JFC.

[@nobodyhere4667]

10:55 What "accept" button is he talking about?! This is 1996, there are no smart phones, no internet, lol maybe their cab company had a dial-up Bulletin Board System? Did Australia get the internet and smart phones a decade before the rest of us!!??? "From the end of a cul-de-sac" does that mean something in Australian? I would think a unit of measurement using the airport to a random cul-de-sac would not be a very accurate way express distance. Did he mean from the cul-de-sac down the street from where he was? Not being a dik, just not a Australian and making sure I am not missing something in translation.

[@wombatusmaximus1788]

The CB handset in all the cars had a red button on the top that was wired in a specific way so if you press it you were sent the details of the job the computer was offering.

[@hotaruFirefly2]

Why are the Adelaide tales always so dark.

[@Vivianblue.]

Because alot of very dark shit happens here

[@Rooster1172T]

The amount of taxis ive seen with uber signs on them here on the gold coast is a thing to laugh at hah

[@notdroidbot2348]

Drunklenly got into an Uber to home from my mates place, driver ended up spending 20 minutes with a hammered 19 year old explaining the stages of the Hajj from first hand account. Class act.

[@mangolollipop_]

I had like been SA'd in an uber ride paid by my friend and I was very inebriated in the back seat then the driver proceeded to ask to let me sit at the front. Dumb ass me actually sat at the front with the uber driver and I don't remember the conversation we had but I remembered him holding my right thigh. When we got to my house, he grabbed my hand and put right up on his groin. Quickly sobered up and realised what was going to happen, I dipped out quickly

[@DownyTheClown123]

New idea: quantum physicists confess their sins

[@shockmouths1]

ah shit I missed this post. i could write a book about the crazy shit I see Uber driving in Newcastle