unboxing 100 mystery thrifted parcels in 100 days (day 14)

[@uhohspaghettios2391]

Hi Alex, fellow ADHD + mental illness person here. Your cycle can have a *very* dramatic effect on both your ADHD and your mood. My symptoms for both my ADHD and MDD worsen dramatically in the week and a half leading up to my period. I've actually never had to track my cycle in any way because of how much my behavior changes before it comes. Something else to know which may or may not have anything to do with what you're experiencing now: there's a symptom of ADHD called "intrusive sleep" which basically means that when your brain thinks whatever you're doing isn't interesting enough to generate focus, it sends out a signal to sleep and save energy for when something important is happening. Yay, ADHD logic 🙄. On top of that, while Ive never heard an official term for it, there's a thing within the ADHD community known as "waiting mode". I think it comes from time blindness, but often when you have something to do during the day, you can't do much of anything else before that thing because you're waiting for it to happen. Since our brains don't have a good grasp of how long tasks will take, trying to start task A when you know task B is coming in a few hours seems too risky because you might forget about or be late for task B. Would task A logically take 5 minutes? Yes, but what if it *doesn't*. Too risky for ADHD-ers. Thus, we just...wait. I know that doesn't help you right now, but do know that we love you and are here for you. ❤❤

[@phonicfrog]

I just googled "waiting mode"...what an absolute revelation. I finally have a term to explain why i can't do anything today because i have to work at 3pm. Thank you.

[@shobot]

ah the adhd logic hits hard. 😅

[@lyzzee6143]

that time blindness and explanation of why when something is coming up it can be so hard to do anything else? don’t think i’ve ever had any part of my brain explained so well!

[@alexrosselli6673]

Not to mention, if you are on birth control and your periods become almost impossible to track due to sheer inconsistency, you might struggle to always track when you are going to be able to be productive. As someone who is going off birth control soon for good reasons I am actually looking forward to being able to track myself for productivity again. Yeah i cannot do anything before 8am but I hate myself when I have to do something before 8am and thus once I have done the thing I can't doing anything else until almost midnight bc I have to release the hate.

[@uhohspaghettios2391]

@Tianna Elizalde I'm so sorry that you're going through all of that. Life with ADHD is difficult enough on its own, but now all these other issues have been piled onto you also. There's a large community online of people who try to manage their ADHD without medication- some voluntarily because of side effects, and some out of necessity because of situations similar to yours. Many of them can be very helpful, though you may have to tey a few different ones to find what works best for you. What works well for me is a strategy/phenomena/whatever called "body doubling" that a lot of ADHDers use. It basically means that you invite a (ideally understanding and helpful) person over to your house or on some kind of video call and specifically tell them you're going to be doing a set task while they are there. I don't know how or why it works, but for me at least, it feels like in kindergarten when the teacher would tell us to put our toys away- non-judgmental, non-condescending, but also knowing there's someone else there to give you the boundary and deadline that your brain will not create on its own. In regards to the doctor issue, I'm in the medical field, though I'm not an actual healthcare provider. I've personally found, both from being a patient and being an employee, that doctors often aren't the best at accepting suggestions from patients. If you haven't already, I would try describing your symptoms in very precise detail and acting like you're dumbfounded as to what it might be. For me, I was pretty certain I had ADHD, but instead of bringing it up directly, I basically went on an honest tangent describing what my life and thought process is like and let my doctor come to their own conclusion (for example, what I basically said was "I start doing something, and even if it's something I enjoy, I always have to stop multiple times because the task will remind me of a song so I can't continue until I've listened to that song 20 times, but the song will remind me of a scene from a movie, so then I have to try to find that scene on KZbin to watch it, and then I can't remember the name of the actor in the film so I have to Google them, and by the time I've gone through their entire IMDB page it's been 4 hours, and I can't go back to the task I started off with! It's so frustrating and I feel like I'm going crazy because no one else I know has these issues.") If you do decide to attempt this, I would also be very sure to emphasize that you have been on antidepressants or whatever medication you were put on, and that it either didn't do anything or made other things worse. It's ridiculous and a pain in the ass to have to go about things this way, but it's maybe the most successful way I've found to get an indifferent healthcare provider to listen to me. I wish you all the best in this new year!

[@megankast4017]

As a lead keeper for the parrots at a zoo in America, I can say that Zupreeme pellets actually aren't great for hormonal birds. One of its ingredients is just straight up sugar. Sugar actually increases hormones in parrots and can make their hormonal angriness worse. I recommend going to a pet store and just looking at the ingredients of all the foods and finding the one with the least amount (preferably none) sugar, and the 'meals'

[@anachristi]

wow thank you for this! i have an eckie and he isnt as hormonal but i def didnt know that. thanks!!

[@megankast4017]

@@anachristi No problem!

[@lettuceleaf5555]

It's really hard to find a good quality pellet in Australia 😞 Zupreem is the best I've been able to find for my Eclectus and even then everywhere runs out of stock pretty fast (where I am anyway) . I usually feed fresh or frozen veg but pellets are handy and convenient sometimes.

[@lily_white]

Bird Tricks has a Seasonal Feeding System "cookbook". It's not an option for everyone as not everyone has the time/resources/storage capacity that it needs, but it's a good option if you can do it.

[@marikotrue3488]

One of my cats has decided all on his own that he has to put me to bed. He "herds" (head bumps/leg pushes) me towards the bed. Perches (like a cat of course) on the edge of the bed. He watches until I lie down and pull up the blankets. At that point he leaves. Perhaps Dumpling has taken on shower duty? It amuses me that people worry about AI as our current (past and probably future) overlords are our animal roommates. I actually like the thrifted skirt more than the top (which needs boning). Maybe to keep set together. gift to a friend or re-sell?

[@Witherspoon1209]

This was such a brave series of vlogs. Such an honest approach to showing mental health problems. I can relate to some of it. I am so incredibly sorry that you didnt manage to come all the way back from the darkness.

[@Mogfails]

Ever since you've been talking so openly about your mental health I keep relating to you more and more and especially this time I just felt you and it almost made me cry. I also feel absolutely horrible when I have my period... Couldn't agree more about pets being a great motivation. If my cat wouldn't meow dramatically every morning I'd never leave the bed...

[@olgafilipowicz9201]

proud as fuck of you for getting out of bed! im so happy these vlogs and us watching them can help you push to do these things because they are HARD

[@Firecat_23]

I may be projecting and or overstepping boundaries, but is it possible that this sort of tiredness/lethargy is coinciding with a specific point in your cycle? I know that around the time of your period ADHD meds can become noticeably less effective, and maybe its the same for your other medications? It might be that this is the first time you've noticed because the surrounding highs have been so much higher? I'm not on meds personally (though I probably should be), but around my period I'm usually lethargic, and a lot more unregulated and all of the symptoms I experience tend to be more prominent

[@PrettyPastelPlease]

I think you might be onto something here 🤔

[@wildjamart]

This!!! I find my ocd meds are not as helpful the week before my period starts.

[@naraholdaway5035]

As someone with adhd, and the minimal research I've done, the drop of estrogen can make stimulants a lot less effective cuz estrogen is a serotonin and dopamine transporter, so it makes sense that a day or two before your period you feel like shit, and understimulation exasperated my negative feelings in the past.

[@alarmedplacebo1579]

This was my first thought as well. I'm a wreck the week before my period starts. No need for calendars lol I just go bonkers and cry and sleep and poo like crazy. 😅 I have CPTSD not OCD, but our meds are pretty simular.

[@aubriof8]

I was just coming to say the same thing! My anxiety meds usually do a good job at helping me not be lethargic and in a good mood. But I always know my period is going to start because I have unexplained moments of depression and constantly tired.

[@stephaniesavage100]

Alex I cannot overstate how much your videos are helping me. I was diagnosed a year ago with adhd and c-ptsd, and I struggle so much every single day. By no means do I want you to suffer but it helps me so much to see someone going through the exact same things. The adhd paralysis and time blindness, difficulties maintaining motivation and socialisation. I feel so very alone most of the time. But your videos make me feel like I have a friend who just *gets it*.

[@lyzzee6143]

don’t reply if you don’t want to, but what is c-ptsd? thank you.

[@troebeliewoep]

@@lyzzee6143 chronic-post traumatic stress syndrome

[@mrs.knecro7044]

100% understand the comfort friends and people that you have to try and clean up for. I find out someone is coming over and I always cringe about our bathrooms because the toilets are old and have rust/hard water spots that look like 💩 and now matter how determined I am I am never able to get them clean… I go through phases where o want things cleaned and decluttered and then other times where I just can’t be bothered until something tips the scale back again and then it’s like a fire Under my butt and I’ve gotta clean the whole area again

[@rae4eva]

To help encourage dumpling to have a bath, maybe try getting one of those rubber fake stone looking sink liners, or a silicone mat that goes into the sink, or maybe just drape a hand towel into the sink. Just something to help provide more grip for him to feel more secure on. Maybe that will give him a bit more confidence. I love seeing how patient you are with him and how closely you follow his body language and signals.I think you are doing a great job with him so far!

[@shineonsunfish]

1) Alex, you are vlogging because you like it and it is helpful to you. If you don’t like and it’s stressing you out, you don’t have to do it just because you said you would! Same with anything, just because you said you would do something when you felt well a few days ago doesn’t mean you can’t cancel it because you feel unwell. Society wouldn’t think anything of cancelling if you were pregnant or broke your leg, mental health is a real thing too. 2) these comments are very enlightening. I’m neurotypical but my husband is an ADHD boy and I’m sure at least one of our girls will be too. I recognize so many of his little quirks here and it helps me be more patient with him.

[@wardancers4]

I always anticipate your content but these videos are something special.

[@HAppytobeHer]

As someone who doesn’t have a typically set daily schedule, I find a lot of motivation from my pets. I know how much they love me and I them, so feeding and cleaning their space encourages me to clean my space too. It’s a great first step to a successful day!

[@VelarisLibrarian]

I have ADHD and anxiety as well. While I like seeing influencers show the happy side of ADHD...I like seeing this more. videos like this make me feel understood and not alone. We're allowed to have bad days. we can't always be the fun, silly, Squirrel people. With that said, keep trying Alex. You can do this. It can be hard but you can do this!

[@raigne86]

"There is no greater strength in this world than a woman with OCD rearranging furniture." I felt that in my soul. I don't have it, but my mother rearranged the house once a month when I was a kid. I was constantly knocking my knees on coffee tables, end tables, chair legs, in the dark because the layout was always changing.

[@LarrietDarling]

I don't have anything scheduled around it, but I've been exactly like this the last few days. Just horribly depressed and isolating myself from my friends, and i just wanted to curl up in a ball on the bed and just blip out of existence for a while, and then I started my period, and it made sense. I know what causes it, but I'm still not able to do anything about it. My dogs make me get out of bed to take care of them. I do the same thing with appointments, too. I can't do anything else unless I plan it around the appointment. I get so anxious. If I have a doctor appointment, I usually have to spend the day before the appointment getting groomed and lay all of my clothes out. I always make them in the morning now, though. So at least I can get done with the appointment early and then relax and do the rest of my day . I appreciate you so much, and it feels so much less isolating to know I'm not alone in these feelings right now. 💜💜💜

[@onlyalittlebitnerdy]

Been feeling the same for a while. I lost myself in many ways, but I do get glimpses of how good life can be during my “better” days. Then you started thinking it’s all turning around, until one “bad” day slips you back (like plans with your MIL). I made plans with my friend last month to watch Hocus Pocus 2 this weekend. Her town is having a Fall Festival too. It’s really the anticipation that’s the problem I.e. the dreading. Once you do it usually it’s not so bad as your mind convinces you it will be (when it tells you every little thing is a struggle to do). Keep posting & showing us how you are muddling through it! We understand, we really do!

[@heatherydew3361]

I could listen to Archie munch all day!! I totally get what you're saying about pets, I have a chronic physical illness that leaves me permanently exhausted, and honestly since I gave up work in 2019 its my pets that have got me going each day. Without them I'd have really struggled with my mental health, on top of the physical stuff. As you say, they are too good for this world really!❤️

[@clawsmcgee]

I am loving these vlogs. Your openness has been magical and as always birds are a blessing x

[@InquisitiveOwl365]

I would say since it sounds distinctly related to your period, take the day as self care day. Dont force yourself to do things so that your body may be able to feel better tomorrow. Do things that will make you not feel worse- so eat what you feel like eating, do things that dont add stress but will help you relax. Sometimes its better to take the loss of a day then to exhaust yourself fighting it. (like when youre sick or recovering from being sick)

[@troebeliewoep]

That some wisdom right there

[@espachu224]

i never usually post on videos, but i just wanted to say that your videos have been super helpful getting me through some rough times. thankyou

[@lindatannock]

Hope you're OK 💖💖🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

[@Yokominton]

Hi Alex when I was going through a period of time similar to how you are describing, some advice I had was to aim to do one task a day don’t set anymore ie: do your makeup or get dressed. I found it really helpful as I didn’t get overwhelmed and I felt a sense of achievement when I had done it. At times I would do my makeup very late at night so I was putting it on then taking it off straight away. I don’t know it may help you or anyone else at there. Sometimes it’s the little things you build on . Sending you and everyone out there who needs it lots of love and positive energy ❤

[@curiousrei8814]

I love hearing you say that about pets. It's so validating. A few years back we lost my childhood cockatiel during a time my depression and anxiety were really bad and a while after I got conure shortly after I'd started meds and begun therapy. Having to get up every day to feed him did wonders for me at the time. While I still have bad periods with my mental health now it's still something I can be proud of that forcing myself to do everything I did for him back then (and continue to do now) has meant he's entirely bonded to me now when he was entirely untamed when I first got him.

[@LouiseLillith]

You are so so so right about the positive effect animals/pets can have for mental illnesses. I've been struggling depression and stress for some years, and I swear I couldn't have stayed afloat without my two furballs. Just the fact, that someone is solely dependant on you, gives you a purpose - maybe small for others but huge for me. And in return you get unconditional love, laughs and cuddles. ❤️❤️ I remember a social worker once told me to "just get rid of the cats" because I was having a hard time finding a place to rent that allowed animals. Like.. lady.. my one cat is EIGHTEEN years old. She's been with for almost half of my life. Through everything. How could you even ask me that? Would you just get rid of your kids or your grandma if things got a little tough? Keep fighting! We love you and you inspire us! ❤️ Love from Denmark ❤️

[@ifntrachel]

i've been on and off dealing with mild depression (not properly diagnosed) but seeing you talking about it in this video is how i feel when it hits me and it sucks but we're here for you alex lately i've been a lot happier and feeling like myself again so i hope you can hear me cheering you on through the words i'm typing out! cheering you on always and i hope moods/days like this can lessen for you

[@bowerbirdstyle7661]

I really enjoy closeups of the chickens. Their colours are so beautiful.

[@jcook910]

I too am on ssri's (it doubles as a seizure medication which is why i take it) and I have days leading up to my period where I am in bed most of the day. No typical pms symptoms, just so so so tired and sad and unmotivated(and hungry lol). Nothing helps but sleep, and for me personally if I don't sleep when I am tired, I get migraines. When this happens I just try not to be too hard on myself, remind myself it will pass and it's not my fault. Feel better Alex!! ❤️

[@victoriahayden2961]

Well done for getting up Alex. Your so right about having animals and they help you to get up and feed and look after them. It’s so lovely to see how much you love and care for all the animals! I really loved watching Archie munch through his breakfast!

[@alysaneblackwood]

Watching you do this vlog does help and encourage others. I'm 40, had chit chats with the GP since my teens about OCD and anxiety which they generally brushed off as normal or minor things, never recieved any treatment or therapy just acknowledgment. Since watching this I'm realising it's much more than that, there are a lot more internal things I do, counting, rhymes and things I can only do in a certain way/order or I can't settle, its making me realise I need to write or record a day in my life with all the good, bad and WTF thoughts and emotions for my doctor and ask 'so is this normal?' and start insisting that I need help no matter how much my brain argues that this is fine and we dont, we can do this on our own. I only jumped in around day 7 of this series but I watched that 1st week back to back to catch up and it's made feel less alone. It's got me researching, watching videos on types of therapies, different ways it can manifest so that I can walk in to the GP fully prepared, I'm motivated to get better, to instigate a morning routine, to admit I'm struggling and that it's OK to ask for help....which means so much to me right now. I'll be here everyday, watching as you share this journey with us and sending you love and support always, no matter if your day is good, bad or don't even ask.

[@rynrcookie77]

I get it, Dumpling. I too struggle between a bath or a shower. Thank you for doing these vlogs, Alex. It's helping to push me to actually make an appointment & start getting myself treated.

[@MissStarShooter]

thank you so much for showing us what it is like for you on a "bad day" too. I know there was a lot of focus around the menstrual cycle causing the tiredness and the inability to move but I also want to send a gentle reminder to not be so hard on yourself for having a "bad day." even while medicated these things happen, and I want to remind you that it is okay to not be 100% all of the time. I like to think of it as "what is my capacity today to do things?" and whether it is 75% or even 150% that day, I find it helps me be kinder to myself and not feel guilty for sleeping or not doing as much that day as I had planned. I don't know if you experience this but as a depressed introvert I constantly feel the need to recharge after social interaction, even with people I love dearly, as I constantly need to turn on my "social switch" to interact. I wonder if the fact that you've been "on" for two weeks affects the strength of the crash you felt today at all? I shall stop rambling and simply put out the self-kindness memo. Be gentle with yourself; you yourself know how fragile you can be. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

[@Midlife_Manical_Mayhem]

Alex, you have completed 100% of the challenges and bad days you have faced. you are definitely a CHAMPION! as a fellow adhd/mental illness/ person with chronic fatigue and multiple chronic health and pain issues, i can tell you that you are. some days we may not be able to get up. but we didn't give up. you start each day, anew, with a fresh perspective and TRY AGAIN!

[@tonebangen4535]

This series seems to be just opening an item of clothing a day, but has been a real, raw diary that too many of us can relate to and sympathise to. You really are unique and a breath of honesty and realness that alot of people apreciate especially now in the transition from pandemic to an open society

[@NeccoWecco]

Seeing how Dumpling acts reminds me a lot of my dog when i first rescued her

[@bubbleblossom333]

Btw I would really recommend getting a tongue scraper, I have similar struggles with dental care and have found it really easy and effective to use a scraper plus it’s relaxing (don’t do it too hard, just a couple times lightly is enough). Brushing the tongue is good too but for me it’s super uncomfy and I gag a lot, so having another way to deep clean has been nice :) just thought I’d share

[@shobot]

I'm sure other folk will say this but I do hope Alex is able to feel some pride in the fact she's been doing this for over two weeks. I'm terrible for hyper fixating on a thing and being utterly convinced I'm going to do it/achieve the thing and I'm forever failing. Being able to keep filming and uploading daily is a lot and it's been good content for a lot of us. Mental health journeys come with a lot of highs and lows, good days and bad ( and yes hormones and periods 100% play a part). We will get there...some how ha

[@cutecats532]

I always cut myself a break on period days. I usually get some cramps so I lay in bed with a heat pad, maybe have my favorite snack foods ready and easy to get, and just try to relax. Much like how Dumpling has off days it's ok to have off days too. I love how Archie was like "You're late mumther, *comes out* are you ok? You has breakfast. Ok. Yay." I appriciate these videos, this is something I would watch on those days and I live in the hurricane ridden areas and my power is out and I've been trying to watch this all day. I had yesterday's video downloaded but not this one and I've been very tired and stressed out all day. I'm going to try and recomend that food you showed to my friend who has a parot with hormone problems. He's an eclectus like Archie, he's little so probably not the dusty ones but I think she has some that are dusty too. I thought about recomending the videos you said helped but now for sure gunna try to recommend some stuff from your videos. (The comment wouldn't upload and then the power came back and scared me. Lol)

[@hollycosmic]

I’m struggling alone and your videos/discussions really help and encourage me. I did not know about executive dysfunction, but it’s what I deal with as well. Sending much love Alex ❤️

[@LillaYoyya]

When you started talking about not wanting to get out of bed my first thought was "her period must be soon" because that's what happens to me :D I would start feeling sad and exhausted and unmotivated and then look at my calendar and go yup that explains it. I feel like the relationship between mental illness and the menstrual cycle are not talked about at all. My doctors never mentioned that my meds might be less effective around my period.

[@Midnightpigeon666]

As someone who used to have periods from hell, I say go back to sleep. You deserve the rest today. You’ve worked so hard and kicked ass over the past two weeks, tomorrow or even next week will be who other store. You can do this Alex, I believe in you. 💖💖

[@rand0mn0sity14]

The package outfit is GORGEOUS on you!!!

[@plushieangela]

so relatable

[@sparkeletons]

A lot of others have already basically said the same, but just to throw my experience in in case it helps- I've struggled with pmdd and ocd for 15 years and just recently got diagnosed. When I started trying to get a pmdd diagnosis (which, as others have mentioned, is like pms cranked up to 20) Google said the condition was very rare. Now it says it's very common (funny, that). I've been on ssris the past 10 weeks along with bc and it's finally seeming to manage itself, but I do still have an incredible crash the week leading up to my cycle when your serotonin tanks thanks to hormones. All this is to say, I suppose, is that you're not alone, and it's okay to slip a little on routine and be nice to yourself despite how you were feeling before. Our bodies were not meant to operate at 110% constantly, despite what capitalism tries to tell us! But I can understand how frustrating it is is to feel down again after just starting to feel better, but you'll feel that way again. I hope you have a few nice snuggle days with your birdies and bounce back when you're ready. Also I've really been enjoying these videos and all the fun thrift finds!

[@melissat7307]

I have PMDD. From age 11-36 it took. me. out. starting 10 days before my period began, but I had no idea what was going on. The last couple of years, it's increased, leaving me pancaked on the couch in a way that I've never experienced before. I've had depression and anxiety diagnoses before, but sheesh. This was next level. So hormones can absolutely mess with you in that way. Finally plucked up the courage at 39 to 1) visit a GP and 2) ask about it. She prescribed me a SSRI and an over the counter iron supplement which helped me tremendously over the last year. I can see how finding treatment might be complicated with additional diagnoses, though. I have faith you'll find your way! I've loved seeing your story and your support system is so very heartwarming!

[@KatyLady88]

I completely get the same way/feel the same way after I have socialized with people whom of which I love and care for and want to be around. It takes a lot out of me I notice. I don't exactly know why...But I always need a day or two to "recover". Which to most people, it doesn't make sense...but it exerts a different type of energy.... I know how you feel. I have been feeling so incredibly unmotivated lately....Like it's just EXTREME..... I also think that the past 2 years of everyone's lives, worldwide, has taken a huge toll on all of us...and I really believe that there are going to be some people that immediately feel the effects of it, and have already and some people that experience PTSD later on.... WE LOVE YOU ALEX!!! You are a lovely, beautiful, kind, generous, comforting soul!!!!!

[@kentuckykupkakes7284]

Can I just say...after 5 beers and my husband sleeping beside me. This is so calming and relaxing. I have struggled with OCD and panic/ anxiety for years. Just to hear you talk makes me happy and feel better 🤗

[@amara560]

This might be one of the realest videos I've ever seen on KZbin. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your mental health journey.

[@amandaelle1462]

I know for me, I get mega burnout after being more social than normal. Give yourself time and grace, Alex. ❤

[@wonderqueerTT]

i often get peopled out, social activities takes up a lot of spoons so you run out faster than normal. its ok to rest

[@TT-_-]

Most of the time I like familiar people in the moment. My energy level is kind of on top of the hill..? If the people are around for the whole day I start feeling tired; enthusiasm goes to the bottom of the hill. I often have a "nap" in an empty room in familiar places. I don't actually sleep, just lay down with eyes closed, maybe listening to music to cover the sound of people. Sometimes people ask if I have a headache when I do this, nope just social exhaustion😅 After having moderate human interaction for a lot of days, or high human interaction for a day, my activity level drops deep into a pit of the earth the minute I'm back home alone. The difficulty is in finding the line between being recovered from people, and slipping straight into depression from that pit-of-a-energy-level. Having to see people lifts the energy up and keeps me more active even when at home alone, but also eats up some sort of deeper reservoir of energy that will run empty at some point...

[@Strawberries1994]

Todays outfit looks ✨ amazingly stunning ✨ on you!! 💜 specially the top! I would definitely keep it

[@Graalclassicblue]

OMG! The not being able to begin your day or any other task until the scheduled thing has happened is literally me! I thought I was crazy. It screws with my mind and concept of time and makes me feel like i’ve had such a waste of day.

[@sianymay96]

I know I’m really behind and finally just catching up, missed watching you but life happens and loving these types of vlogs so far, its just like just having a chat with a friend and that’s feels like what I just need 😅 and seeing you be you, as someone who suffers with their mental health a line that I have tried to live by and learn is that “recovery” (if you want to call it that) isn’t linear, there’s going to be ups and downs but realising that the downs now arnt as low as from where we started, it’s hard as it feels like falling back but it’s what I try to remember and just be gentle on yourself on the low days, do what gets you through the day and reward ❤ btw I have never wanted chicken cuddles as much as i do now… off to beg my partner for chickens 😅

[@dianaking1106]

I've always believed you can tell a person's character by how they treat animals....and you, Alex....you are a good egg 🥚 💕💕💕

[@lifesagame2006]

Been watching the 100 parcels playlist again, so sorry for commenting on a bunch of old videos! I don’t have adhd or ocd, though have definitely seen a lot of what people say about them in myself, but I have been diagnosed and medicated for PMS and there’s definitely hormone levels that affect your mood in the lead up to your period. I think the main one is progesterone, when I was on the mini pill I definitely had those symptoms full time. My cycle isn’t really a cycle and very irregular so I can’t really tell when they’re coming, but pretty much 7 days before I have a really depressed day, without medication full on depression and anxiety that stopped me from doing anything, and then again the day before. The day before I just don’t feel like I can get up, feel like I have no motivation to get up and feel like meh and nothing really. This then just goes with my period and I feel more like myself again mentally. So, although I can’t say what it’s like with your health conditions, I have similar feelings around my period and it’s more obvious now my mental health is better after coming off the hormones so maybe now your mental health in general has improved it’s more obvious to you. Not sure if any of this is relevant, sorry it got a bit long! I love these vlogs and they’ve been really relaxing to watch today as having a recovery day from doing too much and pottering round a bit doing things. Also I think my chinchillas might be in love with your chickens, they always come up to the top of their cage and watch them.

[@N_0968]

Gondor calls for aid!!! ❤❤❤ Dumpling is so sweet and so are you! 💖

[@AmyNapsALot]

I understand how you feel, Alex. You're not alone. ❤ Thank you for always being real and authentic.

[@set0401]

💛 The statement about pets being an amazing motivator is so very true. After a lot of lows the last couple years I've felt my mental health noticabley decline. Just a few months ago i had to help my little Seto (my kitty) move on, who had been with me from the age of 14 to 32; it's been 10 times harder to do anything and not want to just shut down. Most days all i can hardly handle is just making it through the workday to come back home and sleep. Reading the comments and watching your videos has made me realize even more that i will need to speak to someone, and there isnt anything wrong with getting help with prescriptions. 💕 Gonna have to look into checking my iron and read more about pmdd as well And just had to comment that when Archie was licking his beak after he ate, my sister's cat does that too and sounds just like that. How cute 😊

[@sorbetsurprise]

I find these videos so helpful, even if you think you have done nothing they are a brilliant glimpse into what it is like living with ocd and adhd. My daughter has autism and old and a adhd are considered co-morbidities and very common to get diagnosed with one or more of those as well. She has a lot of ocd traits currently, constantly counting, tapping her fingers, walking the same routes home from school etc. I find it so helpful to see what she might expect to encounter as she grows up. Thank you for this series and being honest about mental health.

[@ohhowkeni8709]

Once again, I completely related to everything you talked about! It’s so hard when you have those moments of feeling nothing. I’ve tried to explain to my husband that it’s not that I’m sad, I just feel empty. Like just a hollow shell. I’m eager for the day when we can finally get a dog because animals help me so much, and I’ve been two years without any pets (aside from a bearded dragon that literally CHOSE to give up on life 😭). I’m proud of you for pushing to get up though! I’ve been trying to form better habits by giving myself something that feels good before making myself do the things that are causing my freeze. When I’m in my “empty” moods I try to tell myself that I have a timer and once it’s up I HAVE to get up. Doesn’t matter what I do, but I can’t stay in bed. Even if I just move to the couch, it’s one step forward. There are days when I don’t win and end up staying in bed, but I try to forgive myself and tell myself that I can try again in a moment. I’m not sure what all hobbies you enjoy that don’t require a lot of strenuous work, but I’ve found coloring to be a really great way to help my mind forget how empty it feels. It gives me something to focus on without requiring too much thought. Try and find a small hobby like that to do for a moment to maybe help your mind shift from reflecting on how blank you feel. I hope it’s helpful!!! Remember to forgive yourself on the days when you’re not as strong! Just take it one step at a time, and reward yourself when you do something well!!! Also, I do like the top and bottom, but I agree I think it looks a little big on you, so unless you had it tailored I feel like it would look a bit more like it was wearing you.

[@eyiapandora3933]

Have you heard of "Delayed Sleep Phase Onset"? It is quite common in Neurodivergent persons. It is where one's natural sleep cycle is delayed by several hours so even if you go to bed at what is considered a "normal" (socially acceptable) time one's body won't get good, proper deep sleep until within one's "delayed" time ie. 2am to 10am for example. It's different to being a "Night Owl" - that is considered a choice. Where as Delayed Sleep Phase Onset is an inherent trait. Thus, even if a person with Delayed Sleep Phase Onset tries to get into a socially acceptable norm sleep time, they may not be getting enough actual good deep sleep and gradually build up a sleep debt.

[@gorefieldluvr6921]

Omg you just described my life. Recently i have gotten it under control, for the first time in my life. Melatonin dosage as well as sleeping nine and a half hours a night and I can finally have a routine.

[@JessicaSparkles]

Started my horrid time of the month yesterday and I can’t be bothered to do anything. I’m not on any type of medications for anything but I get so tired… if tired is even the right word for it, every time. And my moods are haywire. I want to do things, so naturally I just lay around instead and then feel bad because I didn’t do anything. It’s a vicious cycle for sure. I’m thoroughly enjoying your videos everyday though! Gives me something to look forward to. I hope you feel better, Alex. Sending lots of love! XoXo 💖

[@VforVenlee]

The waiting mode freeze is a massive struggle for me I understand completely. Also the move you talk about your adhd the more I think I need to go get tested

[@amyhamaker7803]

The "no motivation" certainly sounds like one of my big clinical depression symptoms--when they're hitting hard, I just don't feel like doing anything but lying on the couch and reading or napping. I'd been on SSRI's for a long time (13 years or so), and they just stopped working for me, so the doc switched me to an SNRI (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor), which made a world of difference and gave me my focus back. It's never the same for everyone, but you may want to talk to about your psych about depressive episodes. Super low-dose Xanax (0.25 mg) really helped during those times. Good luck, Alex--we're here with you.

[@centurycountess4949]

Omg the outfit is cute! I love the top and how it looks like an antique corset but more shapely without boning..

[@TaizuRei]

Alex my dear, healing is not linear. Allow yourself the grace to have your ups and downs. I've been where you are, and some days I am back there, and that's okay. It's all part of the journey. I'm proud of you for simply being where you are now. 💕

[@cate5]

I don't think i've ever commented on a video but i've watched every one for a very long time! (i remember the first ones i watched being you making fun drinks / I think a chocolate heart?) It was so nice to see how the dress boosted your mood at the end of this video, it looks amazing on you! I enjoy watching your videos and always have, ups and downs and all, glad the side channel is a place where you can feel comfortable posting again

[@krickster82]

Alex I adore you and your love for animals. I would love to recommend a book to you that will help your chickens live a longer and healthier life. (Also teaches you how to make chickens come out of brood because it is unhealthy for them to be broody if they are not hatching eggs) they are your animals so you will obviously care for them as you wish, but I also think you want to keep them around as long as you can :)

[@SlackerLife0]

I really appreciate these vlogs. I've been really anxious the past few days, and your vlogs are like I have company ATM. Thanks Alex. 🧡

[@Amn3sy]

Thank god I have your new video, I need to get out of bed and watch my face/take a shower but it's cold and I don't want to. Now I have something nice to watch while I do that

[@hannahbanana95]

Thanks for posting this Alex! You are so brave to show us your true and honest self! I love it. As someone who has been on SSRI medication for 5 years, there are always going to be days worse than others but those good days are worth the bad days. You’ve got this Alex!! ❤️❤️

[@ShelbyZealand]

I relate so hard to all this... honestly. And our periods definitely exacerbate things, it's intense. One big lesson I keep having to learn is to give myself a break when I have days like this. It happens, and it's not a reflection of who we are as people. ❤

[@MrsBMakes]

I'm a clean person when I have guests coming too. I get a lot of fatigue with my MS, but it's always worse during my period. I push myself to do the cleaning, but usually regret it in the following days. Dan's mum won't mind if the house is untidy - the people who love us prefer that we are being kind to ourselves ♥️

[@ashleyrose471]

Pets are everything, lost my cat lastnight and the void she left is massive

[@EzraMarx]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s difficult at times to share how you’re feeling in your head. As a fellow mental illness sufferer, you perfectly described everything inside my head between 10-19 minutes. You’re an inspiration, your motivation helps motivate me. 🙏🏽❤

[@annrepko3781]

Hugs to you about not feeling up to doing much at times. Relatable. As for the company issue also relatable. Long story here. Love that two piece dress on you. Looks great!

[@viola3581]

Wow! That set is SO nice on you! ✨

[@wonderqueerTT]

hey, you are helping us, sometimes self care is making a huge effort, sometimes self care is having a duvet day. i know what its like when you feel judged though, i think even my comfort friends judge me even when they aren't

[@Kate13to13]

An assumption from my side as a person struggling with depression. In my experience is, that after a happy day, or maybe a few days, I feel really exhausted. My therapist told me, its because I'm not used to "so much" and because my energy levels are so low I have to "take a break" even after exciting and happy things. So that my note on your tiredness after a happy episode :) you are doing so good! You have the absolute right to be proud of yourself! You are enough, you do enough, you are loved and deserve to be loved ❤️

[@sav06339]

I always feel like this on my period. And I get ice cream or pho depending on how I’m feeling put a heating pad. Enjoy the goodness until I’ve had a hour or so and then make myself get up to walk my dog. Usually taking a walk helps your mood bc of the rhythmic in using both sides of your brain taking each step. It also helps if you’re cramping. I didn’t realize till you started talking about your mental health for counting steps. I count things in pairs of twos when I’m driving or feeling over anxious. And when I find myself doing it I start to play music that makes me want to sing so I don’t focus on my counting.

[@iheartpaulnash]

I totally agree about soup for periods. Pho or Tom kha are my go too, something with lots of ginger for sure. Brain is soup. Body deserves soup

[@SusiLuuna]

You go girl! Sending u all the positivity, energy and good vibes ✨️ Hope you'll get out of the funk soon enough 🧡 I struggle with depression and anxiety due to late diagnosis of ADHD aswell, just don't be too hard on yourself, its okey to not be okey🧡

[@sarahjoubert1657]

Such precious birds! 😍🐔🕊️🦜

[@a.s.9237]

Period tired is the worst and it normally happens like a day or two before mine where I'm just utterly exhausted. If you can sleep then you should honestly.

[@countessa222]

I am also having one of those days I just feel blah and I don’t understand why 😔 but your video has helped me feel a bit better, like the sun’s coming up on my gloomy mood I dont feel 100% but much better than I had been feeling this morning it’s like I’ve had a good talk with a friend idk but thank you☺️

[@LanasChocolateBanana]

YAAAYYY ITS A NEW EPISODE This is the best part of my existence bro

[@Terracotta_Me]

With the cycle stuff, I used to get that really bad - my depression meds had stabilised me but I consistently had lows before my period was due. It was so bad I changed contraception to something that stops periods so I don’t have those lows & it no longer affects my work. I know that’s not an option for everyone, but it really worked for me.

[@letharja]

I would love to see more of those adorable dogs!

[@ghostdream777]

Thank you for being so authentic ❤️‍🔥 your authenticity helps people. You help people in so many ways you aren’t even aware of.

[@MrsBabyDiva1986]

We are kindred spirits Alex because I too get told to basically phuck off by my fur babies. 😂😂😂

[@SunshineInMyTears]

Hey Alex 🤗 Neither have I ever commented on your main channel nor subscribed to it. And I can't remember how I got to this side channel. But I'm so glad I've found it (and found you 🥰) ⚠️ Trigger Warning: ADHD, depression, medication. I'm on ADHD medication since yesterday (and immediately had to think of your and Sam's talk about that topic 😂) and I'm on an antidepressant since January. And I can understand and feel so well, what you were describing around minute 10:20 to 22:12. Some days are like that. And other days are so full of sunshine in my heart and my head and being alive and vibing in this world is the most wonderful thing that can happen. Then I forget that those other, those awful moments exist. Where nothing is worth anything. And where I ask myself "why? For what? Why brushing teeth? Why getting up? Why showering?" However, I could take part in a group therapy during this summer (I'm from Germany - so May until August 😉) where I learnt so much about depression and how to deal with it. It's not easy to transfer everything to ADHD, but I learn to love this journey I'm on. Currently I'm trying to build up some kind of routine that gives me a kind of frame or scaffold. So that I can function and my body can do things and keep me physically healthy while my mind is somewhere else trying to restore some energy. I'm not very successful though. But I have a mission 😁 What you were saying about that period thing: I noticed, that my depression hit me very hard 4 days before my first day and I had to stop writing my master's thesis and had to focus on myself and my health. As soon as the period started, i knew what had been going on. PMS hits different if you have mental issues 😅🙈 Way too long story short: thank you so much for this channel and that you give us your uncensored thoughts. It helps others, it's worth a lot and more importantly: you are valid and wonderful and worth a lot! ❤️❤️❤️ Hope, I could give you something back - even if it may be just a comment for the algorithm 😅

[@thegirlatnumber43]

I can relate to this so much! I'm not on any meds, but have always had a very strong menstrual cycle pattern - it's sooo worth tracking your cycle (like with an app) to watch all your symptoms change over 4 weeks. Your hormones change so much in that time. For me there's the ovulation high half way through, where I feel great and happy and motivated, then the week before my period starts I suddenly crash and feel exhausted with zero motivation. Then my period comes and I get such painful cramps I can't move for 2-4 days. So I schedule my life around my cycle, because I know I have 2 weeks were I feel great, and then 2 weeks when I feel not-so-great-to-absolute-crap. Understanding my cycle, and why I feel the way I do, has made such a difference to my mental health - the couple of days before my period starts, when I hate everything and just want to cry every time something little goes wrong...I know that's just my hormones and nothing else. I've learnt not to make any major life choices during that week!! It's a hard slog for me, as an unmedicated person, so I can imagine the havoc meds would on the hormones that run your cycle. I'd really recommend that you - and anyone else - reads up about the hormones that go up and down throughout your cycle, because that will help you fathom what's happening and why.

[@centurycountess4949]

When you were encouraging Dumpling to have a bath I was getting my cup of coffee and when I came back I mistook the shadowy reflection of you and dumpling in the glass shower wall for a giant dog. I was like Alex adopted a super big black haired sheep dog but then dumpling moved and it was them I realized it was a reflection. Isn't it amazing the things people's eyes see when waking up to start their day lol.

[@jcook910]

I just remembered something that helps my brain get going during these energy drained phases. I'll take a nap, but I'll have a 20-30 minute tv show, one that brings me comfort. And every time the theme plays, it's like a gentle reminder like "hey there, it's been a half hour just fyi" ...idk the logic exactly but it helps me :)

[@kgabriel28]

Congratulations on doing everything you managed to do today/yesterday! You did so much. You struggled through and made it.

[@Terracotta_Me]

I came to your original channel as a guilty-pleasure to look at loads of clothes and see Archie - now I come to your channel for bird husbandry and body doubling ❤

[@eeeliz]

that package is absolutely GORGEOUS!! I love it and think it looke great on ya

[@jessieedrich1883]

That clothing set is beautiful.

[@emmy5237]

Thanks for uploading Alex, it’s always good to see you:)

[@mellody8122]

Proud of you for getting up and feeding your babies and not canceling on your mother in law. You did good even on your bad day. So I’m not a doctor or anything, but when estrogen levels drop i believe serotonin levels do too. Most ladies seem to feel the drop around the day the period starts but for some reason mine is shifted about a week before and I was told mine was PMDD. My Dr put me on the “continuous birth control pill” method, where I don’t have periods but once a year. My god has it been a game changer. This is anecdotal of course but I thought it might be worth mentioning!

[@robismyworld]

you did so good alex ! you can do this ! even if it's an off day, you did great ! so proud of you. it's true what animals can do for you.

[@megannelson7334]

Ah, you also have anxiety-related “waiting” too! That back calculation always takes up my days when I have plans later on the day. And I ALWAYS get exhausted right before my period, I have endometriosis though and the pain/stress pms combo tires me out. Sending you good energy, these videos are something I look forward to now, so thank you!