Unlikely things to hear on Crimewatch | Mock the Week - BBC

[@CraneProductions27]

These were hilarious. But I did feel sorry for Josh Widdicombe, he tried to make a good joke about Wetherspoons about 3 times and he still got it wrong. But Sean Walsh's impression of him had me in bits XD. Hugh's joke about Dara's legs was funny too 😆.

[@tomhannaford3006]

CraneProductions27 Yates wine lodge is that he was trying to say lol

[@donaloflynn]

Tom Hannaford Yes, he substituted Wetherspoons in the hope that he wouldn’t trip over that because it’s easier to say, but still corpsed himself. He should have just written it off and come up with something else instead. Oh well.

[@GroovingPict]

Josh gets back at Seann in the christmas round :p

[@Thegadgetman16]

"The following crimes were committed specially for this program."

[@nii_amart]

😂😂😂

[@FreakHarryPotter]

Let's just all take a minute to appreciate Josh Widdecombe's laugh at 3:06-3:08. 😊

[@TheRealXboxNerd]

My entry: "A man has been reported to have stolen a calender, but thanks to CCTV, his days are numbered"

[@Matt-eq3zw]

I heard he got 12 months

[@jimbosayer1]

The evidence was week!

[@davidedwards3361]

Good news. He was arrested and taken to court. He got 12 months.

[@cacauldr]

He should hire a seasoned attorney.

[@fmt4933]

Back in the days of good youtube comments.

[@hanslee475]

Omg the "don't shave white bears" one has me rolling on the ground xD

[@xtheamazingax]

“No that’s not it…”

[@frankharris8061]

I really want to hear the conclusion to Josh's Yates' Wine Lodge joke.

[@monkeysaru3957]

"Were you at Yates' Wine Lodge last Wednesday morning? If so, we are appealing to you to _please_ sort your life out." That's what the joke was supposed to be.

[@sinenomine8101]

@@monkeysaru3957 how do you know this?

[@monkeysaru3957]

@@sinenomine8101 Someone else said a very similar joke on another episode of Mock the Week for the same category. I don't remember what episode it was. I assume either they got the joke from Josh or they both got it from similar sources.

[@zdu5932]

@@monkeysaru3957 it was Ed Gamble. The joke was “were you at the Wetherspoons’s at 9am? There was no crime, we just want to work out what went wrong in your life.”

[@NickFieldMedia]

Fast forward 4 years and this topic came up again, and Ed Gamble may possibly have made the Wetherspoons joke Josh was trying to say! It's something along the lines of someone being seen in a Wetherspoons drinking at 9am and needing to get their life in order...

[@aaronhurst4379]

Ooh, maybe

[@Pining_for_the_fjords]

1:13 - That would be me if I was on this show.

[@itsnotalwaysblackandwhite8624]

The response’s, like a classic wine, can only get better the more times they are viewed. It’s March 2022, most people would be aware of what is happening around the World. It’s time for the BBC to bring us new episodes of MOCK THE WEEK to lift our collective depleted spirits.

[@just-tess]

2:18 haha Hugh we can see you grinning at your own Dara joke!

[@SakariWolf13]

02:22 gets me 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@harryb7552]

Reports that someone has stolen the sun, they’re calling it *daylight* robbery

[@kylestubbs8867]

"The suspect, who goes under the nickname 'Disco Devil', has also been charged with forty accounts of defacing private property. Witnesses were unable to elaborate further, since their heads were the private property in question."

[@thebrummierailenthusiasts5329]

I recognise miles jupp he’s from balamory playing Archie the inventor

[@MrMokaka1]

I just see Milton jones and think- I must watch this!!

[@escape093]

*I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BLOODY EYESH!*

[@maniacalnutter9869]

9 million nectar points = a wine glass. Lol

[@davidedwards3361]

An Australian supermarket offered plastic containers for people to use, rather than disposable plastic. You could get a plastic container for just 14 shop points. You got 1 point for every $30.00 you spent. making each plastic container worth $420.00. OR...you could go to a discount shop and buy a set of 20 plastic containers for $15.00. Apparently supermarket management think their customers are STUPID.

[@just-tess]

that's... not how math works. (the 14 points are FREE because you bought $30 worth of other goods to earn them, thus the 14-points container is essentially free...)

[@jaggass]

'Here's a message to all you criminals out there. Keep committing crimes as it keeps us and the police in a job''

[@user-wq6hr9xi2n]

What was Miles's shaving white bears joke? Didn't understand it

[@NickFieldMedia]

Normally at the end of Crimewatch they say "Don't have nightmares".

[@user-wq6hr9xi2n]

Nick Field ahhh ok thanks!

[@chazzybara]

2:16 I knew something was missing..

[@thebrummierailenthusiasts5329]

I always feel sorry for josh widdicombe

[@AlKusmantoro]

2:28 That joke by Seann Walsh

[@josh0g]

last one is best.

[@oludotunjohnshowemimo434]

Dara is good humoured about getting roasted with the jokes by other comedians.

[@durivian]

these get me through quarantine

[@Haaris.Qureshi]

I can't tell if he keeps messing that joke up or if it's actually a long really clever joke that's going over my head.

[@mechislander]

I wonder what Josh wanted to say.

[@mindlessgonzo]

Ruth has committed the heinous crime of wearing white after Labor Day.

[@iball310369]

Put "911eucalyptus drive" in the search. Now that is hilarious

[@IlGreven]

Come on Josh, you're gonna lose your "Most competent Widdicombe in Britain" title back to Ann!

[@Algahiem]

My entry: "The victim was found dead with three shots in the chest. The firearm that the killer discarded was a customised Colt 45 with my initials on the...er...oh shit!"

[@mitchweiner]

I'm not sure what was funnier: Josh's flubs or Andy actually being funny for a change !

[@paddyh8023]

LOL "We talked about some serious stuff, but don't forget, don't have. BLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAHHHHHH

[@BCMGameplays]

My stomach hurts from laughing

[@dmf1301]

I genuinely don't get the joke that Josh kept bungling! Maybe you have to be British to get it? I'd be ever so grateful if someone would please explain it to me, because I really really want to know what it was! :p

[@thec-m]

dmf1301 - He kept messing up the joke, so he never finished it and got to the punchline. There's nothing to get.

[@just-tess]

likely meant to be the joke Ed Gamble did in a later ep, “Were you at the Wetherspoons’s at 9am? There was no crime, we just want to work out what went wrong in your life.”

[@dmf1301]

@@just-tess aahhhhh.... because that would indicate you have a drinking problem? That makes sense! Lol :p

[@RyanGiggsOBE]

I found Andy hit and miss on this show, but when he's on it (like here) he's brilliant

[@coffeegeck]

Milton scared the shit out of me

[@vincentmutel7313]

Did you have nightmares afterwards?

[@Tralby19]

What's the white bears one

[@just-tess]

I guess they always sign off "Don't have nightmares"

[@kjamison5951]

“It’s up to me to wish you all good night. Don’t have nightmares. Although, I doubt you’ll be able to sleep considering what we covered this evening…”

[@nigelterry9299]

What IS Milton Jones on????

[@tombstonerforever9374]

Life

[@aaronhurst4379]

Mock the Week

[@cirrustate8674]

Yes.

[@iainjames03]

Was Andy Parsons caught in a rain shower just before stepping up to the mic?

[@rubyboy99]

Tbf I've had over £30'a worth of nectar points which I've spent on fuel and food, I'm only 25.. :)

[@phunkymind23]

I don't understand the last joke.

[@phunkymind23]

Oh hang on, I've got it now. I was saying it to myself all day and it just clicked.

[@josephchambers6893]

Jay Jack, happens to us all mate. It once took me three months to get a joke my mum said. By the time i got it, mum had forgotten the joke and Amy wine house was dead so it was no longer funny.

[@dariushcreates]

I love explaining jokes because it's funny when your brain processes the punchline

[@aslanilyayasa8146]

It didn't click with me yet, can you help

[@phunkymind23]

@@aslanilyayasa8146 They made a reconstruction of a murder by literally murdering four innocent people, as it was in the real incident. If it doesn't help anyone, then they've killed four more people for nothing.

[@kylestubbs8867]

That first one.

[@MrExEssex]

0:04 "...sawn off the wrong end of the shotgun"? Good joke, but think about it. Then google images of "sawn-off shotgun" - both ends are shortened, so which is the wrong end? (I know it's the stock - just being daft.)

[@cirrustate8674]

The implication being they sawed off the trigger, and are only carrying the barrel.

[@Maurice_Moss]

Wow Andy Parsons was actually funny 🙈

[@henriettashaw9353]

SEANN AND JOSH OMFG I'VE MET BOTH JOSH ONCE AND SEANN THREE TIMES GOING TO SEE SEANN AGAIN TOMORROW. I LOVE HIM OMFG

[@sammorris798]

Sorry for being ignorant but I don't get the "don't shave white bears" joke

[@jaggass]

+Sam Morris i think presenters usually say remember dont have nightmares

[@danieljames8655]

Messing it up.

[@williamgannaway8183]

That's the funniest thing I've ever seen Josh Widdicombe do...

[@edwardkinsey5680]

Tonight is a crimewatch Big Brother Special. Did Roxanne get beat up by Ryan? Answer No. Thank you for watching. Goodnight

[@tombstonerforever9374]

Lol

[@evlredsun]

how does sean walsh still get work?

[@millerhxc]

Well...he hasn't so much since Strictly...

[@JJB88-y9v]

The police today sent of a letter watch as we follow the letter of the Law ☺️

[@RJM639]

I'm playing Grand Theft Auto right now.

[@ilikecoldcase]

+RJ M I'm also playing grand theft auto, enjoy your walk home

[@julesmather2621]

RJ M Lovely game innit

[@Bart-tk9um]

ilikecoldcase that was a good joke i liked that

[@davidgwr]

The police are still looking for a theif from the Nottingham area. This man is believe to live in the nearby forest area and has two acomplaises - a huge man only known as John and a monk. Here is a reconstruction courtesy of Walt Disney;

[@marissabones]

Stole his legs 6 months

[@user-hn2vl4hq7q]

some one stole my coat today

[@CocoHikari583]

is that Josh wingecombe

[@SamuelBlack84]

"Hello, I'm Jill Dando"

[@jake2355]

WARNING “Cash machines are charging £1.99 to withdraw your own money, they then have the cheek to tell you to cover your pin to prevent you from being ‘robbed’ If you come across one of these atrocities, leave the area immediately”

[@emmacassidy8482]

News flash: Dara O'Briain's legs have been found. They were stolen by Banksy.

[@jaggass]

Tonight we are tracking an individual that went into a gay bar and stole alot of KY Jelly. Alot of people were left butthurt''

[@thoaqu]

Two thousand and thirty ninth! :D

[@rosshartley1397]

Crime watch the real crime is this shit is still on air

[@MassDEMan]

1st

[@donhusguh2457]

unlikely things to find on mock the week good jokes

[@randomspiel]

Seann Walsh was so try-hard and unfunny.

[@randomspiel]

@ammar siddiqui k

[@cov9290]

I don’t normally like him but in this I loved how he took the piss

[@mathieuleader8601]

this jokes have not been charged with the crime of being unfunny

[@cov9290]

@ammar siddiqui if that was a crime 75% of the population would be in jail

[@GenericUsername-qp1ww]

why is Josh on here? he's so fucking unfunny