Meet The Dumbest People Of r/AskReddit (1 Hour Reddit Compilation)

[@owl6637]

I'm liking the story about the guy with Asperger's syndrome. I have Asperger's syndrome and it's very uplifting to hear a positive story like that

[@janeadelaidelennox7193]

Owl yeah. I just wonder what the universe will toss at him next though

[@spleens4200]

Jane Adelaide Lennox hopefully he’s not affected by covid...

[@tr-vor9978]

@@spleens4200 Taft,t,t t

[@tr-vor9978]

,tff@@spleens4200

[@tr-vor9978]

@@spleens4200 tþttþftt

[@somethinunameit637]

When my boyfriend and I started dating, I expressed my attraction to being pinned against the wall and kissed. So he and I go to take a shower, he, legally blind without his glasses, decides to pin me against the wall. He grabbed my head and slammed it so hard against the wall that I ended up having a minor concussion. He seriously misjudged the distance. It's also not all his fault. I think I would have been fine if my boss hadn't dropped a crib on my head the same day.

[@stefanmuntean5289]

Ok......you should talk to someone about being happy with random head injuries 😅

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Is that around the time you chose to wear that massive pink helmet of hair? If it works, I might try it - I’m constantly misjudging distances like how far away the head board might be or the height of a vehicle. If I go completely bald, my scalp will probably look like a flagellati’s back.

[@Lillypop93]

My boyfriend was trying to be kinky while we were in bed I was on top of him and he picked me up to try and put me on his face he did this really fast no warning and with more strength than necessary I wound up head butting the wall so hard the clock above my bed fell and hit me in the back of the head this with and the head butting the wall gave me a concussion it's a funny story now that we can laugh about and was kinda funny in the moment but I had a bruise on my forehead for like a week

[@somethinunameit637]

@@nicholashernandez4611 wigs are NOT a good cushion. Especially in the shower, when you aren't wearing one

[@KnakuanaRka]

Ouch! 💥💫🤪

[@HoodieNinja777]

The couple stories are adorable, but the “it’s like the poop in her pants were fertilizer for their hearts” had me spit out my coffee

[@shannonpena-kc9zh]

❤❤

[@mysteryminx2619]

Not an admissions clerk, but once reviewed a resume of an applicant for a writing position. Listed proudly that all the essays and papers she had written and sold to other students had received excellent grades. We handed out copies of this resume all over the office and did not hire her for some reason. She actually showed up for an interview because "she hadn't heard anything back". We were floored.

[@taitsmith8521]

😂 Okay, I know I'm replying to a 4 year old comment, but, your story reminds me of a girl I went on one date with. She was in college and had rich parents, but she made money by writing essays for other people. She had expressed that she wanted to be a professional writer. I told her that technically speaking, she was a professional writer, as she accepts writing assignments, adheres to deadline, meets the approval of the editor(s), and gets paid for it. I obviously didn't read the letter that you are specifically referencing, but it seems to me that the entire staff that read it is completely incompetent and devoid of an education or any critical thinking skills. Every freelance writer is writing about a topic they have no firsthand knowledge of because the person who should be doing the assignment lacks the either the writing skills or inclination to do it themselves.

[@Antivaguenesssociety]

Is it just me or am I detecting hints of sass in the robot's tone?

[@Art-is-my-main-hobby]

That is not just you lol i thought i was crazy 🤣

[@Chuckf66]

I absolutely LOVE the slight rise in inflection anytime it says "What??". Gives me a chuckle every time!

[@hunnibadger8111]

After being out of school for years, I did a placement essay in pursuit of a communications degree. The topic was something along the lines of "Everyone is good at something, what do you think of this theory and what are you exceptionally talented in?" Legit wrote four pages about what an asinine concept it was, based on the reality that most people are mediocre at BEST and will never make any significant impact on society or the world as we know it (outside their close family and friends).. went on to talk about how the majority of people that any one of us would encounter can barely keep their shit together from the time they're functioning with any independence, let alone contributing in a meaningful way (useless pawns for the sake of capitalism). Chock full of cuss words, blunt honesty, and sarcasm. When I got to the part about myself, I basically stated I knew I was good at writing, but my crowning achievement was bullshitting through most of my own tasks and accomplishments, and the rewards I reaped as a result. I was placed in an honors literature class. It was scheduled right before my remedial algebra course 😂 🙌🏼

[@anelbre0904]

AYYYYEEEEEEEE!!!!🤣🤣🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿👌🏿

[@nicolesummers8139]

👐 Well Done lol

[@nicholashernandez4611]

I’ve always argued that there’s a mediocre fish in the ocean that would make a wicked cyclist, but since no one’s making bicycles for fish the life that fish leaves is mediocre. Pull a fork out the trash compactor - it might be unique, but who would call it useful? Talent, opportunity, incentive, drive, usefulness, and relevance is rarely aligned in the lives of people but MUST be at least clustered together for any chance at success. Talent means nothing without the ability to use it. Does any of this sound familiar?

[@sarahcoleman5269]

I had a crush on a guy in our friend group for a long time. I finally told him I liked him around Thanksgiving time and it was a complete surprise to him. He asked me to give him some time to think about it and I was sure that he was definitely not into me. However, as the months passed he didn't seem to even remember that I asked him out. I asked him again around Valentines and he was like "Oh yeah!" Turns out things got busy at work (His job has a peak time from Black Friday to Super Bowl Sunday) and his dog had died at the beginning of the year. Things were just slowing down when I called him again. In the last 5 years, I've learned that he is generally just forgetful when something isn't immediately in front of his face. Otherwise, he just goes with the flow.

[@Roadent1241]

I hope you two are happy together right now? Or in general?

[@sarahcoleman5269]

@@Roadent1241 Yes, we're still pretty happy with each other. :)

[@Zasha-uq5uo]

does he have adhd by any chance? the "out of sight, out of mind" thing is very common with adhd

[@SilveryBlue1010]

Lol I read something like that before. They use "!" on the end of every dialogue part, make their characters sounds angry/exciting all the time 😂😂

[@sadiedeservedbetter]

Yeah! What kind of idiot would do that!

[@BlakeJ-ex7th]

I was reading the ingredients on a Pringle box and said to my dad “Wait! Chips are made of potatoes?” And my dad said “ever heard of potato chips” and I was like “oh”

[@Roadent1241]

Yes, they are, how else do you make chips at home? By peeling the potatoes, cutting them up into the rectangles and putting them in the chip pan XD Or fish and chips....!

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Dude, perfectly reasonable to not realize that chips are made of potatoes - especially since they started making chips out of other things now. Maybe you were absent mindedly looking at the ingredients. Maybe you’re a little dense sometimes, and that’s okay too. Welcome to the club. 😁

[@KnakuanaRka]

Eh, don’t worry, everyone has the occasional brain fart. 🙄💭

[@KnakuanaRka]

@@Roadent1241 Doubt he’s ever made chips at home.

[@Roadent1241]

@@KnakuanaRka But homemade chips are the best, and you can probably do then in the oven if you don't have a proper chip pan.

[@TM-ed7iu]

Realized at 23:01 that I was the dumb one because I read “soup” as “soap” and was thinking “why the hell would they taste soap?”

[@Roadent1241]

Some people are dumb/overly curious. Also have you never watched Another Dirty Room? Rick's always sampling the soap.

[@ladyi7609]

@@Roadent1241 and sometimes (maybe even most of the time?) Brennen joins in on the soap-tasting as well!

[@racheltizzard2792]

“Doctor Emeritus (Russian:Заслуженный Врач) is the honorary title granted to distinguished physicians by the Presidium of the Supreme Soviet Council of the Union's Republic per the proposal from the Ministry of Health.” you’re welcome

[@lurkytespaed6469]

Do people not know that???

[@maelewis25]

Thanks!

[@Riddler577]

@@lurkytespaed6469 why would anyone outside of the medical field need to know that? Not trying to be rude, just saying it isn't as obvious a piece of knowledge as you think it is

[@tidepodpadthai2633]

@@lurkytespaed6469 why would anyone know some random fact?

[@hero-bo7qc]

Thanks

[@krismartikris4834]

The one where the guy stabbed the woman for trying to eat off his plate. My mom told us it was rude, and asked: How do you know the food on the person's plate isn't the only thing they will have to eat? It never occurred to us that everyone didn't have three meals a day. As for me, I don't want anyone's saliva-smeared untensil touching my food.

[@goldenstunter8525]

maybe he wanted some...red wine ;)

[@dr.doolittle5617]

I think the Romancing the Secretary story was beautiful. I liked it so much.

[@yourmotherahha9486]

Whats the time stamp?

[@loristrout4741]

The Alcoholics Anonymous one really is a private meeting THE TEACHER WAS WAY OUT OF LINE. At the end of each meeting they say"What you Hear here and Who you See here, Stays here."

[@scotthag1993]

My Aunt who never had/held down a job in her entire life, volunteered for her kids school, stopped and quit because shes says they never paid her....

[@Roadent1241]

Well I wonder why.

[@scotthag1993]

@John Irving she's something else.....

[@scotthag1993]

@John Irving lol sorry you have to deal with that, sometimes I bet it gets frustrating

[@steveneardley7541]

I stayed up two nights studying for a college final in American History. I woke on the day of the test with complete brain block. I took a couple of libriums to calm down, and by the time I got to the exam, I was stoned and punch drunk. I ended up writing these really exaggerated humorous essays. I skipped the last three questions and just drew full page pictures--for instance "E Pluribus Unum" in giant stone letters with Abraham Lincoln in a chariot racing across the top of it. The teacher gave me a B plus, but refused to give me back the test. He said it woke him up when he was grading at two in the morning. Years later, that teacher wrote me a great recommendation for graduate school.

[@galacticrainestorm8546]

The story about the secretaries was so wholesome holy crap, what nice people, I hope they're doing well today!

[@awesomecat42]

I wouldn't call it dumb exactly, but the story of my parents' proposal is super cute. My dad planned out an entire vacation for the two of them where the goal was to go out and see a special historical marker (not saying which due to privacy). It was a long but pleasant walk and his goal was to propose to my mom when they got there. They got there and my dad reached into his bag for the ring and it wasn't there. Before he had a chance to panic about it my mom got down and proposed to him with the ring. Turns out he wasn't as subtle as he thought and she had snagged the ring on the walk over while he was distracted. They've now been married over 20 years.

[@Dreamer12888]

Holy crap. I can confirm the number of parents who fill out apps for their kids. It's a community college so we get spouses who add fill out apps for their spouses and put in their own SSN.

[@brianlinger4653]

3:00 "he was possessed by a preternatural ability to attract bad events and then to survive them. The universe had tried very very hard to kill this kid and he somehow managed to dodge the overwhelming majority of it." yeah I'd say that's the aspergers/autism experience summed up.

[@mooncow4824]

17:02 dude whenever this happens, just go into an awkward word sputter. It may seem really awkward to you but I promise it’s actually somewhat cute. “Hey and by the way this is.... uh......” *turn to gf” “oh my god I can’t remember your name Man I can’t even remember my own name wait who am I?”

[@bad733]

At 4:26 the person who's friend learned Mandarin cuz of their thing for Chinese dudes missed the opportunity to say that they were getting wang left and right.

[@COVID--kf3tx]

dong works pretty well too

[@EdgyShooter]

Imagine having your doctor give you a diagnosis in text speak 😅

[@hippie6692]

"quoting because lazy" big mood

[@mariahpadgett770]

26:48 my sister hit me in the face with a wii remote once I can’t remember it, but she does, and she feels bad about it to this day. That was about 8 years ago.

[@thatonequeer8170]

story time! my bf stole my cat. i broke down his door took back my cat and smashed everything in sight. also stole his dog. got probation but he was to scared of me to come get his dog. 2 years later still happily living with my cat and golden retriver

[@COVID--kf3tx]

Plot twist lmfao

[@mkday22]

r/thathappened im calling bullshit, sorry

[@tnbdynomite1988]

in 6th grade I sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" to my class for extra credit, did well received 💯! then my Senior year I found out my oldest brother had murdered the guy that lived down the street from us (took them 11 years to convict him due to no evidence against him at the time), i didn't know any of this until his arrest, he is 13 years older than me. after his arrest and conviction it took me several years to be able to listen to that song because it literally fit his crime perfectly.

[@dr.doolittle5617]

Wow. Are you serious? Because that is awful. I associate songs with what was going on at the time, big time as well. But to find out what you did must have shattered your world. This story got my attention because i love queen and put on that song today because i love to sing along while I'm cleaning and for some reason, for the first time ever, the song pissed me off and i said Fuck Freddie Mercury. And changed it. I thought why did i say that? If i die from corona, I'll haunt you If you want.

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Wait, pardon the ignorance, but did your brother shoot someone or give them HIV? I don’t know if he lived to the lyrics literally or if he matched the underlying message. I’m guessing the firearm one, and I’m sorry that happened to your family.

[@nicholashernandez4611]

Redwoodrebelgirl The song was about a homosexual man getting a blowjob and giving his boyfriend HIV. Because of that, it’s not difficult to understand my confusion. If you can’t understand that, I don’t know what to say to you.

[@JSkyGemini]

LIAR! There's no "extra credit" in the sixth grade!!

[@nickdssdad2877]

@@JSkyGemini beg to differ

[@user-N20]

A friend of mine and his girlfriend went through a tough week when they went to kiss for the first time and he smiled so she kissed his teeth. She was really disgusted and they almost broke up. They're still dating three years later haha

[@Enraged.]

My heart jumped as soon as I heard that the son accidentally ran over and killed his dad with a jet ski. That poor family and that poor hotel.

[@rodbob11]

who said it was an accident?

[@TheMattc999]

My buddy Jason works in college admissions, and one day he got an application from a gentleman claiming to be named Sir Flavvius Maxximus. He was utterly convinced it was me who had filed the application just to mess with him- it wasn't, but you better believe any type of online account etc I have created since then is filed under the name Sir Flavvius Maxximus.....🤣

[@spikethepichu3445]

My bf and I hadn’t been dating very long but we both loved horror games, so decided to play Outlast 2 together. He’s 6’4 and very easily startled while I’m much more straight-faced when it comes to spooky stuff. We were sat together on the couch when I decided to get up to grab a drink, and at that exact moment the game scared him so badly he jumped a foot into the air… …and elbowed me directly in the face. I was fine but he was absolutely mortified lol. Almost 3 years later and I can’t imagine my life without him ❤

[@waititscoming2567]

It's cool to see other AskReddit than the ones I do on my channel! Good content

[@Octane.on.pawz.]

The squid one almost made me cry

[@kpopinfires1061]

3:53. I feel attacked😂

[@cynicalrecidivist2026]

Yep, I'm like who would do that?.....sweats nervously.

[@isabelrodriguez6054]

Same, like isn't that crazy? I would never even think of doing anything like that hahah.... Unless

[@zephyr3278]

I would never....

[@MizukisSacredSake]

*The power intensifies*

[@thegirlofmanyfandoms99]

Just so y'all aren't confused as I was, the story with Professor Emeritus is funny because Professor Emeritus is a singer and not an actual professor 🤣

[@iamconfusion1791]

I would pay good money to see "Tyler Perry's: The Scarlett Letter".

[@danielyoung7534]

I would *so* go see that

[@averagelibertyenjoyer3217]

I won 1st place in a school district-wide poetry contest for a poem I wrote called "I'll always hate tomatoes" and it was put on display at the local mall. Now as an adult I love tomatoes. Another time I won 1st place in an art contest by copying the design of a book cover in the Jim Carrey movie The Mask. That was also put on display in the same local mall. Then as an adolescent I got in trouble and went to juvenile detention where I won another poetry contest for a poem called "I'm a stoner". I'm most proud of that one. I got a jumbo jack and 2 tacos from Jack in the box as a prize and after having been in jail for a while it seemed like the best food I had ever tasted.

[@Hadmin]

Yeah. Cilantro hate is real. I don't serve your food with a dash of soap over it so I expect the same treatment!

[@Dwayne_Kelley]

Preach it

[@d3ath166]

I've been working since I was 12 and have had nearly 8 jobs since then. Having even 6 years of working experience in multiple chains the most I can make rn is 10/hr. I'm 22 turning 23 this year and I truly hate the workforce but when I finished high school I had bills to pay so it was my only option and I worked throughout my high school years to try and help my parents out, even working in my fathers business. I'm the soul provider in my relationship while my mil takes money away from both my fiance and I and the struggle is real when trying to pay off a loan, build a house, and have enough money to purchase food, medicine, and rent. Why is it that some people think men only want to stay in one place forever when truly it's hard to get off your feet when everyone relies on you

[@someonesomewhere9115]

@40:45 reminds me of a time that my family was on vacation. We went to this ice cream place because it’s supposedly one of the best in the country, and they didn’t have what my dad had wanted to order. There was this one thing on the menu, I forget what it was exactly but it was a banana split with an unusual combination of toppings that didn’t seem like they’d be good together. My dad decided to order it anyway and loved it so much that once it was gone he tried to eat the ice cream on the inside of the bowl and spent the rest of the night and the entire next day talking about it. The dumbest assignment I’ve ever gotten was when my 11th grade history teacher gave us a vocabulary packet to go with the in-class reading. This would have made at least a little bit of sense if the words on it had anything to do with the reading, but nope. We had to define words such as “mystic,” “bogus,” and “apocalypse” (which was actually listed twice in the same assignment). This wasn’t a situation where any of us could just transfer out of the class. The head of school got offended when one parent requested we get a new teacher and banned that mom from entering the school grounds or attending any school events, including her son’s graduation. @53:34 a couple semesters ago my professor gave us presentations. At the start of the presentations she told us to pay close attention because there would be a quiz on them later. Turns out the quiz wasn’t on the content of the presentation, but who gave which one.

[@PlushiePoogle]

4:00 reminds me of when I tried super hard in German class in high school because I was obsessed with the band Tokyo Hotel at the time lmao XD So cringy to look back on but.. it did pay off a little. I still can't really speak it but I can understand a decent amount.

[@DPWFG]

45 minutes after my fiance proposed I slipped on the ice and broke my ankle, it was past midnight, so the closest hospital to us was closed, and the other one was on the other side of the city (it's also trash, but that's a different story) so we went home and the next morning he took me to the ER and spent half the day waiting around so I could get a cast.

[@elspethgraham9531]

I once was a program advisor for a distance ed university. We had a former student who had applied to go to Med school and gave the med school a transcript from here. It was easy for the med school to determine it was a fake. The paper was entirely different. The colouring, the formatting, and most of all, the courses. He claimed to have a Bachelor of Science Degree in Chemistry. The problem is that we offered just one chemistry course, at the high school level. Needless to say, he didn't get to go to that med school. His name was flagged at our university and at post-secondary institutions, including med schools, PA schools etc. so that he couldn't get in anywhere else. The transcript is kept in our files, just to give us a laugh or two.

[@imppaco]

The fart stories are the best! That is how you know you are truly comfortable around someone...

[@haze1119]

Professor Emeritus? I’m lost 1:35

[@gj8683]

Read an anti-smoking one one time, and every 4th word was some corrupted derivation of "smoke": smork, smorker, smorking, etc.

[@pinkmagicali]

Yes 13:40! Cilantro or coriander is awful! We don’t have to do essays for university applications in Australia. You just apply and if your marks are good enough you get in to your first preference, if you get rejected for your first preference it goes down a list of about 4-5. If you get in to one they stop there, you don’t get more offers.

[@Syenthros]

"MOM'S POMERANIAN IS DISTENDED CREAM WAS NOT USED AS INTENDED" I'm fuckin' dead that's so dark XD

[@amylouwho8991]

My wonderful husband has gotten my birthday right, maybe, 5 times in 25 years. I can remind him the night before and he'll still forget. I think it's funny but he always feels so bad even though it doesn't bother me. He also dropped me off at work once, actually twice, then forgot to come get me 5 hours later. God bless him, he's amazing and I love him, I don't care what stupid stuff he forgets.

[@Ravioli05]

I remember when I refused to do a activity/assignment because it was so cringy. So I sat there for like a hour doing nothing. Yes I passed the class, but I never liked the teacher.

[@darlenesnyder3599]

my husband was VERY shy and quiet when he was young. He awkwardly followed me around and randomly bit me one night.... We've been together for over 25 years now. He's still a weirdo tho... and still randomly bites

[@marrchaney9206]

Last year I had appendicitis. I'm also terrified of needles but I can stand iv in the hand. Since it was the ER, they had to stick my arm. I kept my arm perfectly still and screamed and cried while my boyfriend held me. I then proceeded to throw up all over myself. He just calmly asked the nurse how he could help and then carefully cleaned me up. In my delirious and now drugged up state, I told him thst he was so hot and that I was gonna marry him because of this.

[@NM-rt7dv]

In 6/7th grade a teacher wanted us to make an insect collection. It was start of winter, in Idaho, so we got pretty cold weather. Lots of the insects were not even around because of the weather. I got a bad grade to say the least.

[@supergoober1021]

“What is your reason for coming to the Emergency Room today?” “To bring my injured friend. Duh.”

[@oldwoman5942]

My ex got a traffic ticket. I told him to just pay it but he insisted he had to go to court, not to dispute it, but to keep from being arrested. I tried to explain but was told I was stupid. I accompanied him to court and the prosecutor said they had misplaced the original ticket and as the judge was saying that the ticket was to be cancelled my ex screamed out, “I’ll pay, I’ll pay!” The judge shrugged then said, “if you insist” and fined him double the amount he would have paid if he had just paid it before court. I practically died of embarrassment. As we walked out I explained what had just happened, he stopped and stared at me, looked back at the judge who was looking at him in puzzlement and we went to pay the fine.

[@Sawta]

To be fair to some of these teachers: Sometimes they have very little say over particular assignments, and just have the "choice" of when each assignment is given out. They very well may be fully aware of the idiocy of the very thing that they're going to have to sit down and grade, after hearing about you complain about how stupid it is. They are (supposed to be) experts in the subject they're teaching you; they (should) know the shortcomings of not just the information, but the style in which measuring your retention of that information. This obviously isn't a universal. Sometimes teachers are just stupid. Or lazy. Or don't care. But sometimes they do care. I would even argue that _most_ care, but will be risking their jobs if they don't assign that stupid, meaningless project.

[@bexica5676]

For an admissions essay, I wrote about how I was like a thumb. I explained how the useful the fingers are in life, what they represent. Then I explained why I was a thumb. Awkward, etc. but ultimately something that was needed. Even if I didn’t always feel like I had a purpose in life, deep down I had something. I just had to find it and I hoped to find it at the college. I got in. When we did placement tests, a writing prompt for English placements was something about an individual traveling out west during the gold rush. I wrote it in journal form, as if it was from the perspective of someone traveling day by day. Apparently they loved it. Skipped English 1 and straight to English 2. It was so uncommon for this to happen, my fellow students and prof were initially confused. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@ladykoiwolfe]

The One Ring is a divine gift? And Lucifer was an angel once. That would have been my whole essay. I suck at essays.

[@kayq3231]

In 3rd grade and in 6th grade I had to write essays on the history of "insert object." Neither teacher had enough pre chosen objects for every student to pick an interesting one and by the time I was able to choose, I got post-it notes in 3rd grade and balloons in 6th. Even my mom found it stupid.

[@user-hl9ww3ml2m]

I don’t get the emeritus one?

[@sewitseams]

Fully tenured professors who retire are given the title of Professor Emeritus.

[@minato4203]

Don’t worry,it wasn’t really all that funny but the comment above me is right

[@ashleyinternet2035]

Didn't understand that one either came to comments to see if somebody else asked

[@gadgetsage]

I thought they were using it to keep the professor anonymous at first, yeah, it wasn't that funny. Better is the story from my class where the teacher had a real bug up his ass about pronunciation since the phonetic pronunciation is listed right in the book to tell you how to pronounce it. But some people, like the girl I sat next to, had a hard time even with that, and when she took a couple runs at pronouncing Hippocrates, I mock helpfully whispered "hippo crates"... She proudly and loudly said "Hippo crates" and every one laughed. The teacher, amused but not wanting to encourage me, made a face and wiped his face with his hand, said gently "its pronounced 'hip POC cruh tees' ". As I shook with laughter and gently apologized to her, saying "sorry, I just couldn't resist"

[@goofballcartoonist7848]

@@gadgetsage true, but also, i think your story needs a couple of punctuation marks that AREN'T commas... like it's all one big sentence. unless you were trying to challenge us to read it all in one breath.

[@kakekar1113]

The first time my mother ever saw my dad was when they were at a church thing for family home evening (were lds) and they were at BYU Idaho but at the time was Rex college. They were in the Benson building and my dad was standing on the big planter and jumped off it, nearly kicking a girl that he liked in the face at the time. My mother saw this and thought “what a weirdo I hope I never have to talk to him.” They have four kids and have been married for 23 years and are still going strong.

[@ashtinulrich77]

I can't believe someone else has an intense fear of worms. I was so petrified of worms that back in elementary school I used to tell kids at my bus stop that I was allergic to them for fear of one of the rat tailed boys there throwing them at me. This happened to others often. I now have a Chameleon, (Boi Gorge) that eats certain types of worms. Thank Christ he doesn't require Earth Worms. I learned those are what I'm scared most of. I think it's because they don't have eyes and my mind can't comprehend how anything unless it's straight from the Tremors universe can be Earth Worms. Even though I use tongs to feed Gorge I will still 100% burn the house down if one of these fuckers goes anywhere except for Gorges mouth. Not today, Sand Worms.

[@hendyallen5993]

For the sister who wrote about stealing from department stores, was she trying to get into George Town?

[@Hello61Jello]

Ok but I relate to the worm one, as crazy as it sounds. I have a phobia and I do crazy sh*t to avoid coming in contact with spiders. i even used to hallucinate and see them when I'd have fevers as a kid. My friend's think I'm batshit crazy

[@MrsShocoTaco]

My 9th-grade history teacher would write everything on the blackboard that would be on the week's test. We were to write them down and study them, then use them to answer the test questions. Literally, just copy the notes onto the test paper and hand it in, he couldn't have cared less

[@mwillblade]

My favorite type of class.

[@MrsShocoTaco]

@@mwillblade 😅

[@aplanenerdandagamenerd9087]

49:24 Wait that’s a thing?! I always thought my teacher was bluffing.

[@ladylunaginaofgames40]

on the married man topic: Although my Dad never married my mom, both her and his current wife hooked up because of something bizarre he did. To my mom: he simply walked up to her during lunch while she was waiting to get her meal and was like "Wanna Date?", to his wife: they spoke during Biology and I think he said something cute yet dumb. They have 3 sons. BTW: my mom didn't leave him, he left her. They were both in their 20's and he was totally not ready to have a kid. Then there was the possessive jealous GF who forced him to ghost us for seven years

[@ladylunaginaofgames40]

on the assignments: While I can't remember the exact assignment, I did have criticism of a teacher's testing/tutoring method. He used to teach my major's History class and he would shove as many facts down our throats and then test us primarily on memory, we don't even get a word bank for naming objects and yes, we lose points for poor spelling. After the first exam, 75% of the class flunked it, so he was forced to cancel classes for a week for the retake. in the end, at least 20% of my particular year (there were 28 of us I think) was forced to retake that class. Don't expect the memories of young adults to be perfect you know.

[@reptilienkonig6551]

"If he shit, you must acquit!" "Mom's Pomeranian Is all distended You did not use cream as intended."

[@Antivaguenesssociety]

38:31 I can't stop laughing

[@gadgetsage]

TIL from this video that people into minor shit play are a lot more common than I thought. And that people are gross

[@OrbInDaFrame]

The one with the secretaries wasn't even dumb That's just wholesome

[@jamiehart2191]

Is it not normal to get called by different names by your parents? My mom would cycle through literally every child and animal in the house before reaching the correct name all the time!

[@Lillypop93]

Yeah mine too and them she'd say "roll call"

[@kettenschlosd]

regarding misnaming by parants: the running gag in the familyis that we kids are named "sa-imean-nora" "da-imaen-sara" and "no-imean-david".

[@hebesky6355]

53:20 we did this thing in *first grade* called the Race to 1,000 where we had to write all of the numbers up to 1,000. I don't know why.

[@kitsunepsykhe]

I wrote my college essay about Star Wars, and how much of a massive Star Wars nerd I am…and here I am. I got in. Somehow.

[@meganharrison6679]

The teacher who had the 8th grade students write a 50 page fictional “book” and didn’t read them,, give them back and graded the students on their ability to “sell the book to her” is quite possibly the WORST TEACHER EVER!!! Wrote a letter to Santa and months later told Santa isn’t real and you cry how HS sucks? uhh you’re in HS will be able to drive and vote soon. Ohh this explains so so much here in America!!

[@alexandracohen0694]

The romance stories cracked me up. Farts/crapping yourself equals marriage

[@NotAGraveRobber]

I wrote my college essay on Jello Salad, I got into every college I applied to (granted they weren't super selective)8.

[@miadupuis3914]

I'm pretty sure the kid who survived everything is a real-life Kenny from South Park.

[@galacticrainestorm8546]

So the stories about school experiences So this was in 6th grade, we had read the book Esperanza Rising, and we had a few choices to do something on it, most people went with something easy like a book report or board game, but me, being someone who spends most of my time drawing, who also SUCKS at drawing comics, decides "yeah, I'll make a comic of the whole book!" ME, BEING THE PROCRASTINATING ART-BLOCKED ASS I AM DIDN'T DO ANY MORE THEN A PAGE BEFORE THE WEEKEND BEFORE IT WAS DUE. Even if I drew it in pen and it got crappier and crappier, I spend literally the whole weekend working on it and it was awful, although I got a good grade on it so I guess it worked out? Still the most awful, stressful, assignment I've done yet and it was all my fault lmao.

[@Inasafespot]

Grandfather asked my grandmother out for afternoon tea. She was expecting a high tea at one of the exclusive tea shops so dressed accordingly. Instead they went to a run of the mill place where he ordered the plainest biscuits (cookies) for both of them. Apparently, they were his favourite. Instead of fine china she got chunky china. Something must have worked because they married and had four kids. 😅

[@darknightjester6116]

3:26 When I filled out my college application I actually had my mom help me out a little with the paperwork but other than that I filled it out myself completely

[@johntumahab323]

"If you love someone, crap your pants around them. If she stays, she's yours. If not, it was never meant to be." Seems like that's the real lesson about love here.

[@Whiteboybeats1968]

I fell UP the stairs once. Yes, up! Was running up the stairs with about six folded bath towels to put in the bathroom closet. Top of my foot hit a stair riser just below the tread and I was Superman for like two seconds. Face planted at the top landing; “Live from NY, it’s Saturday Night!!!”

[@Lenape_Lady]

That’s crazy! I think 49:06 went to my elementary school, unless this is a common “creative” task to give 3rd graders across America. We had to create something that’s useful but not invented yet. I glued empty tin cans to the sides of my rollerblades to put my gun wrappers/snack wrappers in while I was skating so I wouldn’t be a litterer 🤣🤣🤣

[@macedawgy]

I procrastinated my essay for months, thinking it would be ridiculously tough. It was so fucking easy when I did it. Just speak your mind on your future and give examples of good leadership and achievements your proud of, and why you fit the major your going for and what you like about a certain school. I only applied to 3 schools and got into all 3 because I fell in love with one school and am committed and set to start freshman year of college in September

[@staycejo1]

My daughter went out on a date once with a much older man and I kinda sabotaged it by calling and texting constantly while they were watching a movie. I claimed that I was manic, but I was having a panic attack remembering my marriage to a much older man.

[@importednascar]

49:01 NO YOU WORK ON A GOLF COURSE!!! -Leafs fan

[@Wendy_O._Koopa]

43:53 Wait, so at any point during the week, your teacher could forcfully take your abstinence, and everybody was just _okay_ with this?

[@0331machinegunman]

I once got yelled at while at work for editing people's resumes with a red pen..

[@prismstudios001]

“Because I’m afraid of worms,Roxanne….WORMS!”

[@themindflayerwillendyou1121]

Reddit YT channels r underated

[@supergoober1021]

I liked the guy who farted into her hand. That's a great way to see what her sense of humor is like. If she likes the Three Stooges, she's a keeper.

[@KnakuanaRka]

49:40 The S.S. Crew You. xD

[@gadgetsage]

I had a teacher who had a real bug up his ass about pronunciation since the phonetic pronunciation is listed right in the book to tell you how to pronounce it, but some people, like the girl I sat next to, had a hard time even with that, and when she took a couple runs at pronouncing Hippocrates, I mock helpfully whispered "hippo crates"... She proudly and loudly said "Hippo crates" and everyone laughed, the teacher, amused but not wanting to encourage me, made a face and wiped his face with his hand, said gently "its pronounced 'hip POC cruh tees' ", as I shook with laughter and gently apologized to her, saying "sorry, I just couldn't resist"

[@LaikaLycanthrope]

Who puts exclamation points at the end of every sentence? Gold Key comic book writers did. This is why every episode of DuckTales (the new reboot) has an exclamation point in each of their titles ....

[@WobblesandBean]

1:45 ...I don't get it.

[@doctorspacy679]

as for the dumbest assignment I ever did, I had to write an essay about fair trade of diamonds, which doesn't exist, but a company has made something similar, and has (allegedly) been begging for the creation of a fair trade of diamonds. well, it turned into a five page advertisement on said company, which made me cringe.

[@missaniebananie6473]

I live in a high rise because I am so terrified of worms. Very real fear

[@randomcake1435]

1:02:35 You should not ever be punished for something like that.