An Absolutely Disastrous Hoi4 MP Experience

[@-Big_Big]

1960: Today a great loss for the Chinese people, Chiang Kai Shek passed away today in a accident in his home, when he accidentally knocked over his shelf containing all his Russian medals of honor. The building did not survive the calamitous destruction of the many medals weight shifting so suddenly.

[@leonrussell9607]

Strong shelf

[@Koehfurn]

F’s in chat

[@josharmstrong8813]

The only thing that could kill him *The physical representation of his honor and glory!*

[@thechroniclegamer4285]

It fell with the force of a tungsten rod

[@josephschultz3301]

"My men will die... Chiang Kai-shek with have another one [Soviet medal]." - Chiang Kai-shek

[@Valefisk]

Also just to save you your comment: We did not learn until after the game that we could click on supply hubs and set them to use motorized. That's it. That was the whole problem. What a waste of time, honestly.

[@Youtubeisntlettingmeuseczech]

Orangutang moment

[@the_sad_wallet1553]

I… did not know this

[@TheStonedZone]

@@the_sad_wallet1553 This is news to me as well, and could have saved some of my disastrous games that still haunt my nightmares.

[@MQ-101]

You can also set individual army groups to use motorized logistics

[@therealgaben5527]

btw its much easier to just click on the top of your armies and change it there instead of changing it for every single supply hub

[@Solll0]

We all know the true winners were the friends we lost along the way over a hoi4 game

[@haotatyan]

Obligatory "No coMMenTs aT 3.1K likES" comment

[@omeganichtdieuhrsondernder6906]

One year and one Fish.

[@commanderkei9537]

“No strategic bombers” Axis players will do anything but invest in heavy fighters

[@ilnsert]

Heavy Fighters are amazing. I did a Hungary(AH) run once where I focused in on Heavy Fighters, had like 2000 planes by 1938 and oh my god they were fucking amazingy. Eventually I got a god tier airforce. Annihilated the british navy with tac bombers supported by heavy fighters. Best game I ever did

[@ianperry8557]

@@ilnsert damn, as Hungary how many mil factories did you have?

[@serlistogiette4168]

@@ianperry8557 2

[@carolusrex9577]

Bruh strat 3 are completly broken, even with heavy bombers.Thats why most multiplayer dont allow them. Same is the case with sub 3s

[@commanderkei9537]

@@carolusrex9577 yeah but it doesn’t say “no strat 3s”, it says “no strategic bombers.” Like, at all. Plus, there’s an ADDITIONAL rule that says no 1944 air before 1944. I’ll be honest I don’t think switching to strat 3s in 1944 will be a game winning move

[@layeredchip3220]

“Cease fire, Stalin is hungry” has to be one of the greatest quotes on this channel.

[@thescarletemperor64]

"Eat salami and bravely declare war on Finland" -Ruining WW2 with bad translations, Starv Harv

[@Totasfunnynumber]

- Stalin, who was hungry

[@USELESSDCK]

The nationalist china carry is the highlight of this entire video. Truly heroes of the Soviet Union.

[@vincentmalasawmkimajongte7489]

Comrade Cash My Cheque is truly the greatest ally the proletariats have ever had!!

[@hallway_revenant7919]

Operation balls is the axis equivalent of D day

[@FloridianFool]

Truly a China victory

[@jax3967]

Man, it was so beautiful to see so many Hero’s of the Soviet Union like Chiang Kai Shek and Dwight D Eisenhower personally lead the attack to liberate Berlin and win the war! Thanks for this amazing documentary Vale!

[@lek289]

JAX? ON MY VALEFISK COMMENT SECTION?

[@jax3967]

@@lek289 It’s more likely than you think!

[@genericuser984]

@@jax3967 call to get your comment section checked today!

[@Clearwater_WT]

Before I watched the video I was going to reply "hey Chiang Kai Shek was a nationalist!" Me right now: "Chiang Kai Shek, Hero of the Soviet Union!!"

[@jorgeespino4574]

@@genericuser984 hhh h high be

[@Pawsome_Opossum]

~ Chapter List ~ Chapter 1: Novel is Shit - 1:52 Chapter 1.5: Boe sucks lots of penis - 14:10 Chapter 2: Candy is Shit - 20:18 Chapter 3: Vale and Lynx is Shit - 28:14 Chapter 4: Operation Balls - 29:50 Chapter 5: Sorry guys we Lost (i.e. Lynx's defeatism) - 30:58 Chapter 6: Teddy isn't shit - 33:55 Chapter 7: NATO, but shit - 35:50 Chapter 8: Everyone is shit - 39:30 Chapter 9: Novel is twice shit - 44:24

[@NovelPond]

whats chapter 10: O_o

[@daniellegrand1096]

@@NovelPond Chapter 10: Nothing has changed, Novel is still shit - 45:33

[@KaiserTwo]

@@NovelPond A few sources may disagree, but Chapter 10 is “Fall of Berlin, Total Chinese Victory”

[@Grynoth]

Chapter 1.75 Sabaton causes the fall of France 16:00

[@leroture7750]

@@NovelPond Chapter 10: The fall of Berlin

[@niewiemjaksienazwac1652]

I'm just imagining all these tank factories producing Hero of the Soviet Union medals and shipping all of them to Chang Kai Shek.

[@BarographSoup]

probably the funniest thing in this entire video that *no one* talked about was the fact that both France and the USSR didn't seem to even know AT was an option to research until 1939, meaning neither of them even had even basic tank cannons, and the fact that this mistake wasn't realized at any point whatsoever just makes it 100x funnier to me

[@Valefisk]

Surprise! Wasn't supposed to be a video this week after the hour and 46 minute long disaster of a video last week. But I wanted to swap my upload day to Saturday, so I'm overriding my schedule by releasing this early. This wasn't supposed to happen until June.

[@quinnamations9715]

A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

[@mustafaabdelwahab1478]

Based

[@january0th]

@Inaban is not worth it, half the shit he does to us dosen't even turn into a video

[@patrickmcneilly4293]

@@january0th torturing y’all must be worth the fun either way.

[@yugitrump435]

a "little bit of a logistics issue" is pretty dead on as far as realism is concerned

[@Horizontalvertigo]

Man can't believe the heroes of the Soviet Union, Kai-shek and Eisenhower took Berlin and won the game, it really looked like a stalemate!

[@ComedicLetter]

How to get away with breaking the rules: “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember signing any sort of ‘Geneva convention’”

[@ultmateragnarok8376]

13:36 Big fan of the chat message 'If the world played out in Chamber speed the Titanic wouldn't have sunk'

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

The two superpowers after WWII: *CHINA AND SPAIN* *MVPs, BOTH OF THEM*

[@josharmstrong8813]

I never thought I'd see one of these games were essentially the entire Chinese population mobilises to save the world from the tyranny of Germany Italy and Spain while America is basically having to do a Red Dawn but replace the soviets of Spanish people, all the while Britain is just in the background being based placing a railway gun in Alamein just out of spite Germany / Axis: Damn we are doing pretty well for ourselves against the Russians Also Germany / Axis: why do I hear boss music? 35:55 *Asian throat singing gets louder*

[@liftfork]

I’m pretty sure in Red Dawn there were Spanish speaking bad guys since there were Cubans and/or Mexicans helping the soviets in the film

[@kennyk2698]

Thank you for giving a realistic hoi4 experience for anyone who doesn't JUST play Hoi4. Like when you watch bo's videos it seems fun and like "everyone" has some form of knowledge of what to do. but then when you try it with your buddies this is what ends up as the outcome. Thanks again.

[@woll9676]

Ah yes, a valefisk video, goes well with my hoi 4 obsession and a cup of tea

[@ncrxghost8075]

Ah Such an exquisite gentlemen

[@Sunday_fits]

The first four years being tabbed out and looking at memes bit is too real

[@Kraigsmarine]

Yet another fantastic Bokoen1 video. Weird that he uploaded it to Valefisk's channel though. You know, I miss that guy. Sometimes, even in this video, I can still hear his voice, like he's still here. :(

[@patrikcath1025]

Props to the cameraman for recording this historic moment of Chiang Kai-Shek and Eisenhower leading troops to victory

[@Septimus_ii]

Everyone (except Teddy) lost, but Novel was the only one to lose 3 times - once in China, once in the US and once in Europe

[@Aqueox]

"Drugs, does anyone want to give me drugs?" -China, 1936-Conclusion of WWII

[@LordOfGilneas]

I love the fact Vale managed to turn the tide by basically operation britishing, Running in fanatical valefiskians to blow up the entire german logistical line XD

[@FuraFaolox]

"Ayyy, spaghetti! Oh... they lost so many men." is my favorite quote in this entire video

[@tyrakodyrg2511]

Okay but how does one invade Britain with 6 paratrooper divisions??!??!

[@pizza-for-mountains]

skill issue

[@MattlikestrainsOfficial]

@@pizza-for-mountains x87rx

[@FloeticsPH]

As someone who doesn't understand shit about HOI4 but still watch ppl play them, I'm thoroughly amazed by much you guys suffered in this match, Thank you and come again.

[@liquifieddonatsu1423]

ok but when are we getting the uncut 11 hour version. i have too much time on my hands, vale, i need a shitshow to fill it.

[@noodlelynoodle.]

Same I need to fill time for no money till April which is 9 months lmfao

[@egg9741]

that epic medal awarded the Mr. Chek got me dying bro 🤣

[@egg9741]

btw, I can hop on some hoi4 mp if any of y’all want to play

[@biscuit715]

I don't understand Hoi 4 air. You have equal planes in equal numbers with equal efficiency and detection and then somehow you lose 25 planes for every one of theirs

[@LynxHylix]

We forgot to do the air focus, we had massive debuffs the whole game and didn't notice

[@biscuit715]

@@LynxHylix that's tragic

[@lordcabbage4931]

@@LynxHylix I’m disappointed in you

[@GrandSnow469]

@@LynxHylix Soviet air debuff don't do anything, lol.

[@normak7041]

@@LynxHylix skill issue

[@Isgonesomewhere]

Don't worry, Steiner will deploy operation: Balls.

[@Brent-jj6qi]

Nah nah, since it’s a response to balls, Steiner would launch operation cock

[@AG-zv9jo]

The most diabolical weapon was the tutorial video all along.

[@nicorozner7417]

They could not stand up to the power of the supremely based El Alemin railway gun

[@thevoidlookspretty7079]

I wouldn’t blame Vale if after this, he pulls a Rimmy and never touches Hoi again.

[@essexclass8168]

Didn't Rimmy also have an NSB vid?

[@thevoidlookspretty7079]

@@essexclass8168 Yes, but I believe that’s because Paradox sponsored him, and he said he’ll probably never do it again.

[@essexclass8168]

@@thevoidlookspretty7079 sponsored or not that's still a hoi vid

[@atari947]

eh its just about learning the new mechanics.

[@johnnywoodson4231]

I never truly understood the concept of cry-laughing until I saw the fucking "Le Epic Armour Brigade" from the US.

[@AAhmou]

The true heroes of the USA

[@Macquarrie1999]

No matter who is playing, every game US and British players have no clue how to use their navy to stop themselves from being invaded.

[@johannesjonzon1806]

One of the funniest Paradox videos I've seen in a long time. 10/10

[@formless.chicken]

Snake

[@ДмитроПрищепа-д3я]

I hope Vale does more of those botched hoi videos, they are incredibly fun to watch.

[@rct3LP]

16th of December 1941. Douglas McArthur left the United States to allied China and allied occupied Japan due to the overwhelming Spanish-Italian Invasion of the East-Coast. Before boarding the USS Iowa he announced that he would return to the US on a shining horse to liberate them once more from Spanish Rule. The brave Mexican army continued fighting while the Rest of the United States army fled to Canada with most Units occupying Vancoover

[@khinev3128]

Intense micro also if you look click the army then see to the top left close to the general photo find a horse icon and click it it is a motorization policy if it is still horse that means your logistical lines is still horse delivered click two times to use trucks for logistic it will help the supply situation but uses a lot more trucks

[@Gingerbreadley]

God I need to see a alt history game with you guys.

[@punishement4727]

Every video since your return has been a banger, congrats!

[@KaiserTwo]

This is a certified Chinese Hero of the Soviet Union Victory moment

[@CuSu-333]

A valefisk hoi video? A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one

[@Ryuko-T72]

Need everyone in this game, and Bo's friends to do a massive meme game

[@T729-3]

Oh that picture of Stalin in the intro was golden

[@timeenoughatlast3368]

I thought Novel failing so hard with Japan would be the worst play of the video. I was so wrong.

[@spacefonz949]

When the New Ways mod updates, you should play with that. It's got insane potential for multi-player fun and chaos.

[@quinnamations9715]

Valefisk: * plays HOI4 again * Me: *Oh no*

[@Ulta_Nagenki]

"The Mexicans have said... One calf." Lost it at that point. Lord take hold of me!

[@acemcknight2407]

The D-Day landings bring me so much pain. All they had to do was violently push out. Cri

[@NovelPond]

What the video didn’t show is the fact that those 1 Unit Per tile had 2000 defence

[@AAhmou]

​@@NovelPondEvery mile is a Normandy, got it.

[@DIEGhostfish]

Mexico is like "Well those gringos took half our land but we sure don't want to end up ruled by Spain again, send one cav."

[@KanuckStreams]

I love scrolling down the list of rules slowly and reading them all. Oh boy they're fun.

[@fourthknower9831]

people actually made a geneva convention and then promptly ignored it. Just like the real one!

[@chaoticclonestudios]

Gotta be accurate

[@Oliver-ld3ei]

Get Bokoen to join as British Malaya next time to balance it out.

[@relax-i9m]

Ah yes my favorite pasttime activity, Watching Valefisk hoi4 and simutainously puking into my bucket after a night of drinking. Truely the superiour activity.

[@Kaanfight]

Based, hope you party better next time!

[@tacticalnuke5673]

Can't wait for Vale and the boys to do a Hoi4 video on By Blood Alone.

[@f.-J]

I love videos of HOI4 but I've never seen them from you, so this was just amazing. Keep it up Valefisk!

[@porter5224]

Valefisk Paradox game? *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

[@commanderturtle4636]

5:06 they still had more trains than trucks

[@hedgeearthridge6807]

42:29 Bo is an absolute treasure, he must be protected at all costs

[@scibanana3542]

I honestly wish we could see everyone else's perspectives; seeing Pedejo's reaction to Operation Balls would be hilarious.

[@Mainlanders]

Operation Balls and the newest chapter, Operation Balls: Requiem

[@mosesracal6758]

This is just an almost hour long video of vale and his friends fangirling on Bokoen1 and China just spamming infantry everywhere

[@AceWolf456]

Thankful? No. I want to watch the 11 hour version.

[@Brigtzen]

I've rewatched this like 10 times, i so so SO want another one

[@walnzell9328]

25:24 Mexican volunteers arrive to stop the Spanish from starting a reconquista of their historic colonies. December 16th, 1941 (Colorized)

[@hofile6765]

i would watch the whole 11 hours of this show.

[@petergriffinfunnies]

Teddy making up for his disastrous showing in Geoguessr

[@bigboyblasta]

My small peanut brain did not understand a single second, and yet i am entertained

[@ChainsawChuck13]

Do not ever sleep on Spain. They may start off weak, but the longer the game runs, the more powerful they get... or at least, that seems to be the case in single player. By 1950, even a medicore Spain player will be stomping through the Americas basically unopposed with the rest of the Axis tagging along. A good player could probably eat Portugal and steal territory from France and Italy before WWII starts, though I haven't been able to try this myself.

[@BaconRage98]

2:20 Man that really was the Soviet/NATO interaction huh "Allies?" "Fuck off!" "Fine, fuck you guys!"

[@hackergaming6372]

That Sabaton thing was so relatable you do not want to know how much I have not heard my parents because I am listening to Sabaton.

[@maurobrunno6032]

Literally my first time watching a gameplay of this game

[@DragoReborn7]

The Bokoen1 outro absolutely shattered me

[@jozopako]

USA capitulated, Soviets balls deep in mud and Germans balls deep in them. Allies: ,,gUyS wE wOn.!"

[@padwock2294]

19:50 Stalin: *Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of my own actions...*

[@RandomIdiotGS]

Replying some months late, but that's exactly how I feel about Paradox. Find a Paradox game you like to play that's also still recent and being played, play it for a while then stop playing and come back after the next big update of that game: you will find a totally different game. I mean, maps will largely remain the same in their historical games, but they add and tweak so much mechanics and features that you just cannot start playing it like you have done before. One of the worst ones was that EU IV diplomacy update as it slowed down the pace of the game soooo much. It was basically... declare war, take one tiny province. Wait ten years or face draconic gameplay penalties. Then declar war, take a tiny province... then wait another ten years... ugh.

[@thetherrannative]

Vale, just wanted you to know that this is my comfort video, and every time I have a very bad day I listen to it and it makes me feel better. I figured that might burn you up on the inside, knowing that something you've done fills someone with feelings of ease and stability. 😈

[@RunicRhino22]

3:02 Sounds like you need a navy co-op lol

[@auroraveon]

this is the alternate universe where germany won world war 2

[@josephschultz3301]

Vale and Lynx both just completely dying and wheezing when they discovered "Le Epic Armor brigade (United States)" was fucking magical to listen to xD God bless those wonderful Soviets

[@thatrandomguyontheinternet2477]

Iraq : Supported Axis before being invaded Rule list :Unfortunately nobody will qee it that way

[@thm1940]

29:45 as a vancouverite I can confirm that there where 70 American divisions present in one point in history

[@scarlettscented]

i wholly lost it when "nope, wrong" came up during the war support segment, c. 19:00

[@definitelypeacock]

"There is no Hoi4 video" Well now there is one

[@Totasfunnynumber]

14:21 timestamp for a classic Boken funny

[@gwenwebb9114]

Definitely my favorite video you’ve made!!

[@tacticoolrick5562]

I can't tell you the number of times I've seen hosts change their house rules on the fly to suit themselves. So stupid.

[@NovelPond]

Vale is that host

[@tacticoolrick5562]

@@NovelPond serious? Lol. Slow clap.

[@chaoticclonestudios]

**Soviet anthem plays**

[@ritac2214]

Build AA not anti tank. AA has piercing so you can use it against tanks, plus if you stack it it will help with the enemy air

[@primalwarrior1945]

So disappointed that I started reading the rules thinking that they were great, just for the next line to be "They were then ignored"

[@dynamo8846]

We had one rule: no fighter 3. Lets just say that UK built fighter 3s.

[@Guile_The_Exile]

Teddy's mic is actually fantastic. Free comedy potential lmfao.

[@commanderkei9537]

I like how someone sent him an IF video-caption post lol

[@TJD0503]

42:29 Praying to bo, patron saint of hoi4 mp

[@AlexSmith-sq1yr]

This is easily the funniest hoi4 video I have seen - "before I kill myself in a bunker in Vladivostok"

[@BobBob-zu2dt]

As a Hoi player this hurt me to my soul. (although i do agree noone understands navy)

[@trygveplaustrum4634]

*"Malding." A word that should die along with all those who speak it.*

[@ianhogben3472]

as someone with over 1000 hours in hoi4 and who often plays the soviets this hurt

[@xanpenguin754]

17:56 haven’t watched the entire video but something tells me that’s when everything went bad.