VAT EN SIT

In this video we share our views on the topic of living together as a couple before marriage.

[@leengoyi7145]

Babalwa I am that girl that keeps saying to you " uZola ngumntu man; he's so wise!". .. Really God gave you umntu that is as good of a person as you. I love you guys. You are much younger than me but I learn so much from you 2. Ndiyanithanda and I pray for you guys to grow even more and that you always hold each other hands. I so so love you guys. Zola thank you for loving this woman the way u do and for loving your family the way u do. It's soo refreshing to watch.

[@mathabomentoor4331]

Lee I couldn't have said it better. They're both blessed to have each other.

[@obvslysnowy]

Bhut’ Zola is wise and is conscious of his societal position. Sense. And open-minded in his view of cohabitation. Very refreshing to see that, considering that he’s a Xhosa traditional man.

[@buhlekeamogetswe2844]

I moved in with my boyfriend when I turned 20, clueless to what I was getting myself into but as time went by I actually found myself. I was obviously judged by a lot of people but I think I wasn't affected by the negativity because I think if you and your partner know where you are going or want to be then all other things fall aside. I fell pregnant last year and lost my baby 2 days after giving birth and again I was judged for falling pregnant without marriage tied to it. Marriage doesn't necessarily put a stamp to everything, Marriage doesn't necessarily come with love. So many people are married but not in love. Some people in fact consider marriage as having a roof. My mom is very traditional but my happiness was a priority to her. I taught my mom a huge lesson. However my biggest fear with living with my partner was thinking that I would rush him to marry me but little did I know that this whole experience would teach me patience Love conquers ❤

[@nthabelenginreallife288]

Buhle Keamogetswe so sorry about your loss dear. ❤️ Love and Light to you and your partner

[@VhoTurnDoor]

I love how practical Zola is about this living in together thing. He appears as someone respectful and caring. Wish y'all well guys

[@vicious6029]

I got a job in a city where my boyfriend lived at the time. I told him n suggested i move in while i get my finances right, so that i can find my own place. He agreed and a month later i was ready to move out but he stopped me. Phithi kant i was pregnant. We have lived together ever since. Its been 5 years now. We both cook, clean, do laundry and take care of kids. We now have two kids. It hasn't been easy but we got each others back. We both don't have parents and we didn't care what others think about the arrangement.

[@mezameza7178]

Ndicela nisenzele a topic on how you work your finances like nenza njani...

[@tsamaisomphaga4673]

I am also interested

[@vuyiswamkencele8426]

uZola is so right about the Economic sense of things one of the main reasons why my fiance and I decided to move in togther way before we took the step into marriage... Love this 💓💓💓

[@nqobilemnguni2600]

We totally relate to all that was said in this video. It didn’t make sense financially cause we would spend almost the whole month in one apartment, so after graduating we moved in together and started looking for jobs together and we indeed saved a lot. Thank you for opening up about these things, we wish you all the best in life and may your love flourish 🌸

[@themcacisofam]

thank you so much guys...we wish the same to you..love and success together all the way

[@TheDlotos]

Very interesting, haven’t listened to all of it but can I just say wow. My husband and I also did vat ‘n sit before we got married and I’m glad we did because I knew exactly what I was getting myself into and I’m glad I did because he ended up putting a ring on it💜

[@fukutwatable]

After along did he put a ring 💍 on it

[@faithmlotshwa8909]

FIRST TIME HERE! 🎈 My pastor usually says, “he will not buy the cow because, he’s already getting the milk.” I must say, I agree with him to a certain extent. I also understand what you mean Babalwa. Interesting topic guys, tackled & unpacked nicely! 😊

[@zintlemsutu9737]

In your next video please tell us how you guys deal with fights in your relationship & also how you deal with your finances especially now that you have two kids. Loved this content by the way. ❤️

[@lithankepu]

Love Zolas reasoning around moving in together. To be there to raise umntana and also to save costs. Love that. 👌

[@chroniclesandbeyond.1285]

one thing i like about your guys relationship is that you really give each other time to speak..you really listen to each other, even though you may not entirely agree or be happy with what the other thinks and says about something..i really loved to see see that

[@taunation7684]

Interesting topic. People can be judgmental every couple has their reasons

[@makhosimandlovu8156]

People are judgemental, I agree with you

[@sike_nofemela]

I think also it’s considering what God wants . Or asks us to do . That’s why sometimes the “pressure” is there . Not parents alone. I also did it my own way . Not God’s way but I definitely understand the benefits that would have come with doing it God’s way . But then again I learnt a lot from my experience

[@Ntombekhaya1]

Sikelelwa Nqakula love this.

[@TalkwithNandidoll]

The thing is we not suppose to be having sex outside of marriage, but if you are having sex and yet you have a negative mind about living together with your man, for economic reasons it doesn't make sense. Sometimes your man doesn't have money but is committed to you and to help the load off him, staying together saves money so you guys can save for marriage, I don't see why not.

[@sike_nofemela]

Portia Mkhwanazi your opinion is valid sis ❤️ it’s your life after all

[@unathibuwa9300]

What an informative topic, you guys really did tackle most of the concerns about Wat en Sit. Babsie, you are blessed to have a decent significant other 😊you’ll compliment one another. God bless you.

[@themcacisofam]

Thank you so much Unathi.... Much appreciate that.

[@sisanda_mpetshwa]

I absolutely love the positivity on this page. Even when people disagree with your views, they do it in a respectful manner. You guys command respect without saying much. Congratulations on a beautiful channel with interesting content❤️

[@themcacisofam]

Sisanda Mpetshwa thank you so much ❤️

[@makiietsukudu583]

I just moved in with my boyfriend at the beginning of the year and I totally agree with this . I’ve been judged so much . Wow. And no one understood as we had our reasons

[@themcacisofam]

as long as the two of you know why you are doing what you are doing, no one else matters.

[@leengoyi7145]

"Ndingowakwa Mcaciso ngoku"😂😂😲YHOOO WOW! 😂😂😂❤❤❤

[@sibusisiwentshangase6594]

It is important to note that some guys do not see the point of marrying you once you have moved in and started doing all these things for him. You have to assess your own personal situation and your partner's intentions because you might be performing wife duties while remaining a girlfriend FOREVER.

[@phaendazuani8163]

@ Sibusisiwe Ntshangase & not every guy will be wise enough to measure up to Zola (thinking wise) , once u there performing all the wife duties, that’s it .

[@simangelemilicentkatsande7359]

Can we just address the concept of " wifely duties" and "Gf duties" cos nje I think we miss it

[@TalkwithNandidoll]

True, some guys will have you Vat n sat and then never even marry you

[@lindokuhlemtyoki1226]

Lol, Azishe Bawo! Intention is everything, and you want a transparent partner at all times. Thank you team Mcaciso for content with substance.

[@nomhlebhala]

When Babalwa says "bhabha suxoka!" 😭😭😍😍 I love you guys ❤

[@sinesethustokwe900]

Mr and Mrs Mcaciso 💃💃✌️😍 also Am I the only one who likes the video before watching? 😂❤️

[@themcacisofam]

hahahahah, thank you love

[@siyazola8531]

I also first like hahaha

[@pablo_hopehope9128]

Lol I also do that cause I know I'll most definitely enjoy it...

[@ayabulelamahleza]

Oh uZola is so wise. I literally kept saying “ewe unyanisile” every time he spoke.!

[@liziwedawnmatu7587]

You guys are made for each other. The respect. God bless your family.

[@buhlembanjwa981]

The way y’all look at each other😊🥺🙌🏽 I’m up here in the ams watching true love❤️ It’s priceless 😭😍❤️

[@namhlaqampa2052]

OMG very interesting Topic! ❤️ And people will always be judgemental. Love you guys! And My God continue blessing!!

[@zizomkatshane7355]

"Person of substance and not of form". Spoken like a true Attorney Zola! I like that. Your relationship, your rules! Some rules or perceptions are certainly outdated and mostly based on "abantu bazothini". What matters is what works for both of you. I think cohabitation should be a pre-requisite to marriage. It makes more sense.

[@themcacisofam]

i agree, you never truly know a person until you have lived with them

[@LHC828]

Thank you guys for having this conversation. It really helps to hear what other couples have to say about the whole "Vat en Sit" situation.

[@DMCswithKMW]

Totaaalllyyy love this ❤❤❤❤ These are the kind of conversations we should be having manyani. Times have changed and our parents need to be more open shem. Question: are we meant to watch the entire ad for you guys to gain? I don't want you losing out😂

[@sihlexoza9741]

Yho throughout this video ndizive ndimane ndisithi u Thixo andiphe uZola wam. Wathandaza Babalwa ntombi ❤❤

[@ntando26]

I like the perspective he shared on that we live in a patriarchal society where certain things are not as big of a deal to men as they are to women, because of how society judges women 🙌🏿

[@boitumelongoma5174]

Very interesting topic guys... I also moved in with my partner while I was pregnant and it made so much sense financially and it really depends on the couple and how committed they are to each other...

[@xabisovuba8297]

I love watching your videos, thixo anisikelele Bubbles ♥️

[@AlataNkonyeni]

Guys please watch those ads ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@keepingupwithkhanyi4615]

i really enjoy you two . nothing more lovely than seeing a young black family that seem to be enjoying their lives with one another 💕

[@themcacisofam]

thank you so much love..thank you for the support. we appreciate it a lot.

[@ziziponontswabu9197]

I love how your videos are always just improving🙌🏽we are here for such content❤️

[@themcacisofam]

Zizipo Nontswabu thank you so much

[@oratiledaphneyrankokomanya6565]

I am a person of substance…..I am not interested on how we look,I am interested on how we are! YESSSSSSSSSS ZOLA ,gems!

[@yandisangani503]

Quite an insightful chat and totally loving your videos!❤️ All I can say is I’M HOOKED🥺

[@vuyiledlamini6306]

Watching this video has really put things into perspective for me at the right time! My love and I have a one year old toddler and we have beeeeeen struggling to do the parenting thing in two different homes. We have spoke about moving in together and I hope your advice works out for us as well ❤

[@themcacisofam]

You got this sisi, you will make it work. thank you for watching

[@NatashaBanda]

I agree with Babalwa I also feel that living with someone before you get married is important because you really get to see what you will be dealing with xa seni tshatile...people say that’s just my excuse for wanting to ukuhlalisana 😏 ...btw this was a very nice video thank you 😊

[@reamoloi9719]

This video was very interesting and I really enjoyed it. I also loved the fact that you guys decided to do things your own way and not according to societal standards. Different things work for different people.

[@thumekalindi3665]

Oooh bethuna i dont know what to say...except INCREDIBLE,AMAZING,INSPIRING Young couple..bethuna niqhubuke nithandana plz...LOVE is really a foundation of happy marriage....❤❤❤❤❤

[@busimfuku694]

Ndischoolwe somewhere that u don't skip iadvert cause adverts means 'money'......ndingxamee eloxesha for le convo....cause ngoma nyan nyan berelationships zatoday especially xaniphangela out of ur hometowns ....hay mandinyamezele marrr......

[@nomxolisihlalempini9194]

Zola ndikuqhwabela izandla bhuti... Alot of men think fathering a child is fathering umntana xa ezelwe kanti that's not it...

[@lithankepu]

Also I agree naye when he said why you moving in, not knowing the guys intentions? And allowing him to enjoy all the benefits.. 👌👌👌

[@yandisajubase3452]

Yho ndiyanithanda bethuna! Definitely a different perspective and I enjoyed this💪

[@lightslite]

A topic that needed honest input.Thanks for the content

[@mezameza7178]

😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣mnxim uZola when he said "uguquka uthi"

[@themcacisofam]

hahahahahah

[@remouszaya1870]

I relate to this.. As I moved in with partner.. It made perfect sense we both not from Cape Town and we were paying two rent n only stayed in 1 apartment

[@zandiswagwalisa310]

Great topic, reasoning and the respect towards abazali👌.

[@underconstruction8198]

I am team zola , idyaan , iGrootman, an example!

[@zimasabaskiti2625]

I’ve really enjoyed watching this from the both of you and getting Zola insights as well. And take from you both on it and the reasons.

[@ncumisanomazele887]

Interesting topic👌... I think couples should do what works best for them and people will just have to adapt to it.

[@nokulungadlamini1148]

The way uBabalwa amjonge ngayo uZola through out the video 😍😭😭🔥

[@tsamaisomphaga4673]

In addition to my previous comment, I believe that the only reason why elderly womem judge young adults "females" when they give decdide to vat en sit is beacuse they know what is feels like to be living with a man who has not married you, male privileges are real, you literally take care of a man as if he is a child yet he hasn't even done right by you....I just think for me living seperately is better because beforw u make me a mom I better be a wife and before I cook, clean and share bills with you I better be a wife...until then my womb amd finances are soley mine

[@lightslite]

Tsamaiso,I just find your phrasing so problematic. 'before you make me a mom's,I feel as women we have the right and responsibility to decide if we want to fall pregnant or to agree to be someone else's wife. Men don't solely have the powers to make us wives or mothers.We decide.I get your preference of staying apart.

[@tsamaisomphaga4673]

@@lightslite yes dear I agree with you. Some women are comfortable with having kids and being a mother without getting married and that is fine. Its great that women are now able to choose the way they want to live their lives. What you read in that paragraph is my opinion on how I want my life to unfold. Its what I want for myself. I am not imposing my view on anyone dear I am just sharing my thoughts we use this platform to share our perspectives more especially on such topics and its interesting hearing other peoples views ❤

[@lightslite]

@@tsamaisomphaga4673 True,we are just sharing our opinions.I respect your perspective.❤️

[@zimasancoliwe]

"Uguquka nje uthi, azishe"🤣🤣❤️

[@tsamaisomphaga4673]

Interesting subject and views on the topic..couples should do what works for them.However, as for me I could never start building with a man who has not fully "committed" to me in a form a marriage. I would rather have my ownn place because I can afford it the only time I will even consider binding my income with a man is when we are married. I am saying this from a perspective of a woman who does not have a child with her boyfriend and still believes the woman is the prize

[@sinovuyoshoco9197]

I fully agree with you. I also believe in waiting for a man who would rather commit to me first (marry). Babalwa was blessed enough because she met a man who knew what he wanted at that particular time and would do anything for his family basically Zola was ready to take a stand. Some people move in and stay together for five years and brakes up and the guy would marry someone else after three months. I am also speaking from a perspective of young lady who does not have a child yet.

[@Lovelaceandlattes]

Babe I’m also in babalwa’s situation we have 2 kids too and living together and getting married . Let me just tell you if a man loves you he loves you qha! There are married men that aren’t committed at all . Making babies with any skirt that passes and spending so much money on other women not on their family don’t use marriage as a measure of commitment . Of course when the money and everything is order marry but it’s not always the first sign a man loves you . I have a few friends that are divorced in their late 20s and they have to start all over again ! Get to know each other before marrying !!!

[@sinovuyoshoco9197]

@@Lovelaceandlattes your opinion dear is respected.

[@tsamaisomphaga4673]

@@Lovelaceandlattes I agree with you and all the points you have made dear. When a person loves you they become intentional and committed to you...every couple must decide if they want to vat en sit or not based on the dynamics of their relationship and mutual understanding. You and babalwa are both blesed to have ur men who are intentional about marrying yoll...AS FOR ME...A PERSON WHO DOES NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HER BOYFRIEND we both agreed that vat en sit is a no no noooooooo and we are also very happy...this my story, yours is yours and Babalwa's has her centiment. Its ok to disagree with me we all sharing our views...At the end of the day we all make decisions that are best for us not society...and also just coz I am not cohabiting it does not mean boo and I do not know each other...I am not going address cheaters and unsuccessful marriages that point is out in this regard ❤

[@sinovuyoshoco9197]

@@tsamaisomphaga4673 thank you so much hence I kept my reply short and simply ku sisi.

[@palesankondlo1395]

I stan for my Xhosa people❤️💯

[@lebohangnkoko5149]

I appreciate how honest you guys are, loved watching this video😍❤

[@luthomarcianelani]

When Zola said "If you want to be a father to your child when they're born, you're too late". 🥹

[@SiweMrwetyana]

Akasachubeke uZola man indlela nje acinga ngayo. Wawumthathaphi Babalwa sisi?

[@KhanyaNolz]

I’m scared to move in with my boyfriend. I always think about the financial implications and all . But if umntu has plans ngawe it’s not as bad I think . Yoyikeka qha

[@simangelemilicentkatsande7359]

Financial implications kanjani hun?

[@KhanyaNolz]

Simangele Katsande he would move in my house so I get worried as to how he will help out in the house , do I ask him to go half kwi bond or does he pay utilities .

[@simangelemilicentkatsande7359]

@@KhanyaNolz Oh I get you sis ❤❤❤ on our side we actually both cover the costs. . It's more or less 50/50 and it's been working well

[@zingisasojola1950]

Enjoyed this learnt a lot thank you Mcaciso family, looking forward to more videos❤️

[@ibanathigayiya691]

Thanks guys for sharing with us, it was a very very interesting topic ndiyonwabele.. And you are a beautiful couple..INKosi ibenani!!!

[@themcacisofam]

thank you so much

[@mandlakazitwazi9678]

The faves...you guys are so young but the wisdom you have tjo...oh and hey I also "vat en sit" b4 getting married so I relate a lot..thanks for the video ❤

[@ayabulelamahleza]

I haven’t moved in with anyone, but I also felt the same way before Babalwa, but things have changed although I do like my space.

[@themcacisofam]

AYABULELA MAHLEZA things have definitely changed shame.... they are not the same as they used to be back then

[@mbalisibiya3641]

Im addicted to these two. Love Zola so real

[@KhanyaNolz]

Ingxaki enye kum 😩 l bought a house and I’m scared if my boyfriend moves in uzokwenzani like is he gonna help me with paying my bond , or Is he only gonna assist with utilities..

[@themcacisofam]

hayi he must also contribute what is fair considering how much he earns. Please watch our video on how we manage our finance as a couple in our house hold

[@sanelisiwesanne1586]

Yhuu uZola guys..... I respect you my guy🙌

[@nondumisoandile8128]

Zola is so wise,nibahle guys😍❤️

[@sarahmahlangu890]

Zola guys uyahlonipha ,you are so blessed babalwa ukuthola indoda enjengoZola guys .I love his respect 🙌🤧❤

[@miemiemathibela2771]

Absolutely love you guys. Came across your channel recently and I must say y'all are awesome 😘😘

[@sinazostimela1087]

My favorite channel 😊

[@c.jchambre2877]

Absolutely loved this vid❤️❤️❤️❤️thank you for sharing

[@siphosethusethu989]

I so wish i can like this video every time i watch it, ndimane ndibuyela kwezi videos zenu ooowh I miss you guys ❤

[@madlomonoddy]

It's my first time here and I'm hooked!🤗 so inlove!! Lol from indlela othetha ngayo Babsi ngathi usuka ebhayi😂 but let me go see the intro

[@AlataNkonyeni]

Road to 100K 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

[@themcacisofam]

Praying, working towards it step by step...the goal for now is 10k before end of lock down.

[@ibongamaseti]

"uylime endlini" hay spice king 😂😂😂😂😂

[@firstbornsiyotula935]

I can relate guys because Nam no hubby we moved in together bcs sasifuna to save money, bcs he had already told me that Ucela ukulobola so it was very easy. Kanjalo now we are happily married sahlala one year

[@bonolomekgoe8958]

Wow this is sooo informative especially in this day and age. I love such topics

[@Ntombekhaya1]

Beautiful Content bethuna. Niyathandeka. 😘

[@khanyamvane]

i love you guys so much . niyandicaza yerrr

[@masimhlanga8223]

❤️ always giving us good content👌🏽👌🏽

[@phiwokuhlezibi6476]

😂😂😂👌 “ndingowakwa mcaciso ngk”

[@sihlemndini5445]

Hay mna I love you man jhuu sitheni fafafa ngothando man😍😍❤. Wish you the best and blessings upon your union❤

[@zukisasitshixo2597]

Andisanithandi guys ❤️❤️.Your topic is very interesting and I love your perspectives on this matter.

[@mossestolom6463]

Zola khawenze utywala mfethu hayibo abupheli😂😂. Khawenze ndoda....anyways interesting topic 👌🏾

[@sanelisiwesanne1586]

Guys andilalanga catching up on your videos I love you both so much Zola the spice king you are too much mchana Babes my love you too gorgeous uziflames nana Ok ke ndicel'i shout out😂😂😂

[@noziphosibiya8596]

Me too🤗 ,truly love this couple.

[@colleenvanwyk8735]

Nchoo kodwa i love you guys i could not agree more with you guys..

[@siviweqwalaselasikundla2812]

I smile throughout all your videos. Your topics are interesting and ziyafundisa. I love you guys so much❤️

[@themcacisofam]

Thank you so much 🤗

[@aphumlilemadyibi5111]

Yhuuuu guys hayi ndiyanithanda the connection phakathi kwenu❤🔥🔥

[@vuvuleem_2219]

I have fallen inlove with uSbabalwe yazi. Niyandichaza man. Even abantu abadala say that awumazi umntu ungekahlali naye and kuyingozi ke ukutshata umntu ongamazi

[@khanyijezile5750]

Interesting, kuyoyikeka nyani hlalisana because most of the time people judge but this opened my eyes❤❤❤❤

[@siwe1729]

What an interesting video guys! As someone who is currently in the same situation I totally agree with the points you guys made.

[@lwethuplussize]

Shuuuu. Uthi ungowakwa Mcaciso ngoku. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥❤

[@zikhonadunjana1842]

Very informative topic. Thank you guys for sharing.

[@bekimangcangazadavid1404]

How babalwa look at Zola.. she is so in love

[@siyazola8531]

Ads ads ads yay!!! Get that coint gaaal. We be watching all of them.

[@siyamthandamgunculu9950]

In plain Xhosa ubhadlile u ZOLA even this is a beautiful union

[@ntomboxolosontsonga9608]

I have not watched this episode yet so as to not Comment on things I know nothing of but I am currently learning immensely about the importance of our culture as a people. Please do yourselves a favour if you are looking for answers and look for bishop Joshua maponga and king bhungane videos on KZbin. They have an episode that will enlighten you about marriage, how things were done and the reason for those in ancient times.