Emergency Storytime w/ Danny Gonzalez - Very Really Good

[@drewisgooden]

tom 100% killed that spider

[@mikecalculator1066]

hi danny!

[@tryzstart]

OH HE SO DID

[@tryzstart]

I mean the urgency of "we have to leave. NOW." Is so suspicious

[@EmmaZeLemmub]

why else would he have GOT to GO?

[@shariskd6504]

Why does this only have 41 likes lol RIP

[@CarliRebecca]

Turns out 85% spiders die in the molting phase, not bc molting is difficult for them, but bc Tom goes around killing them. The 15% are the ones that got away

[@kittenmittons_]

LMFAOOO 💀💀

[@twodeciliters4909]

molting georg

[@SpiritKat1]

Thank god

[@oskarshima]

The ones that got away 😩 OhwOwOhWowAhWowa

[@arrisogorman4409]

They’re the violent ones

[@natalie__jade]

I 100% thought the spider was going to escape and Tom was going to whack it with the expensive violin

[@thebookgoddess7380]

i so thought the expensive violin was gonna get smashed bc they were all drunk

[@fibee622]

Thought it was gonna be inside the violin and it gets dropped or thrown breaking the violin and killing the spider so kinda glad it was a slightly more chill story

[@China_cat_sunmeower]

Same

[@mothman2880]

Classic tom

[@nataliemoreno763]

THIS GIRL WENT THROUGH HELL. her pet died and one of them was like "its just a spider" and another guy is like "oh no its still alive! oh wait no its not" LMFAO

[@lucybickerton4573]

LOLLLL

[@SupahSpaceOfficial]

and then they made a podcast about it

[@tobyparker3230]

@@SupahSpaceOfficial imagine she stumbles upon this episode that would be the worst thing ever omg lol

[@tobyparker3230]

@@MOR54DA7H30S you're right my b

[@ananyasahay]

😭😭😭😭

[@preciousseong]

i don’t like spiders either but i would NEVER say “it’s just a spider” to someone who had one as a pet that died, tom is truly a wildcard

[@macandcheese8251]

Like imagine someone saying “it’s just a dog” or “it’s just a cat”, like that’s just not okay 😭

[@macayleangelina9892]

‘Wildcard’ is a nice word for it.

[@briclare]

fr. that is in no way comforting to hear

[@purplephantom2884]

Spiders terrify me, but even I would still cry with her and try to comfort her. A life is a life. Bc I mean my mom made fun of me for stopping the lawnmower to move a Katydid so it didn’t die, and I’ve never been so mad at her before.

[@emmawhynacht]

the theory that the boyfriend let tom pick up the baby tarantula, it died, and they both had to continue the night trying to hide this fact from the girlfriend sounds like an episode of a sitcom

[@randolph_plays]

i think ur onto smth

[@zuramaru2871]

Literally the whole story sounds like a sitcom episode

[@rin2865]

@@zuramaru2871 how i met your mother fr

[@zuramaru2871]

@@rin2865 omg I was thinking of himym the whole time it fits so well

[@ross9944]

Drake and Josh type story definitely

[@umily159]

I love how Danny had to explain what molting was in terms of SpongeBob for kurtis to understand lmao

[@abby3154]

LMFAO

[@_Kuma_]

Tbh that’s how I remember what it means too lol

[@ashtentygret]

but it worked

[@mangoqribbit8699]

“explain this in SpongeBob terms please”

[@damn4986]

@@_Kuma_pö

[@madidoubleu]

the whole spider thing is crazy but i'm still laughing at danny giving his health card to the bartender

[@borednerd5767]

no but ive done that before T-T

[@trashbiscuits1906]

“oh don’t worry, my good buddy Aetna is picking up the tab tonight, they told me i have full coverage”

[@harmc2301]

@@trashbiscuits1906 “here’s my card. My friend blue cross blue shield got us covered for the night ”

[@hagros93]

As a fellow Canadian, "I don't know if we have a constitution" is the most Canadian sentence ever uttered.

[@juliabraulick4428]

damn u rly do live in a different world from us americans

[@xXtwiIightprincessXx]

@@juliabraulick4428 im english and genuinely didnt know what a constitution was before this

[@Kissable-st4r]

@@juliabraulick4428 fr I wanna go there(Canada)

[@amarooso4776]

Damn do that many people not know their governments have constitutions? I don't mean to come across as rude but usally that's the main structure of almost any government.

[@samnkayjay]

I think our "constitution" is the bills of rights and freedoms. I don't know though ... anyway go canada! 🇨🇦

[@Patziken]

It's really funny when you guys talked about being afraid that people will call you out for being wrong about tarantulas being able to shoot hairs (which they can) while talking about porcupines shooting quills (which they can't)

[@SixtySecondYoga]

I had to google that and I can’t believe it’s a myth!

[@gargles5270]

:0 i need to look into that, i feel like a fool

[@josieeluv]

Well then what’s the point of the quills other than just being spiky 😭

[@ratkeep]

@@josieeluv to keep animals from eating you

[@dottyContrarian]

​@@josieeluv just being spiky.

[@abbiea-c]

as a tarantula owner here’s my theory: while tarantulas are molting they’re really vulnerable & if anything touches them they can die very suddenly. it’s recommended that you take any bugs/food out of the tank as soon as it starts so they don’t accidentally bump into the spider and kill it. since you said there were grasshoppers in the tank at the end (more likely they were locusts or crickets), one of them probably bumped into the spider & killed it while it was molting. alternatively the other tarantula might’ve picked up a gun & killed it, also very likely!!

[@SugarHoneyIcedLatte]

I think this calls for an investigation...I suspect the tarantula may have gotten involved with some dangerous arachnids

[@despres380]

lmao

[@k.k.7797]

Maybe violent spider released a cricket into the baby’s enclosure? 🤔🤨

[@Not-me_]

@@k.k.7797 Its all coming togather

[@ananyasahay]

@@k.k.7797 😭💀

[@Annicamd]

I love how Danny made a story that he could have told in 5 minutes into a 40 minute thing- and I was entertained the entire time

[@wepeelwraps]

“a buddy took me to one of his friend’s place, and they took their spider out of the cage & it was dead:/“ would’ve sufficed.. but i like his way better. very much me anytime i try to tell any sort of story.

[@chrissy3875]

HAHAHA FR

[@Jabadamazo]

I call that the "Day9 effect".

[@thatguyoverthere8441]

The only way he could've told this story in 5 minutes is if kurtis didn't talk once. 😂

[@ellieross7803]

He did stop to explain what a constitution was, what molting is and pretend to be a spider holding a gun

[@wesley_3201]

Danny's marriage vows: "till concert do us part."

[@scumfckk3746]

underrated comment

[@olooliebelleo1968]

@@scumfckk3746 fr 💀

[@prplaj]

Bro I’m dead 💀

[@redberriedceltictree]

thats how it is xoxo

[@Mar_volite]

So they part at concerts?

[@NerdWhoSometimesReads]

Danny talking about the violent spider so much was the greatest misdirection of all time

[@nabd341]

Ikr I thought that Tom was going to pick up the spider and it was going to bite him and it was going to be poisonous or something 😂

[@maridf7740]

After reading so many of the comments I have a theory: Tom and the boyfriend go see the spider (maybe by tom's suggestion) and try to feed it a cricket (since the boyfriend presumably didn't know the spiders as well as her) probably meant for the violent one, they put in the cage and when nothing happens leave. Based on the comments of the video, the cricket probably took advantage of the spider's vulnerability and killed it. Cut to the end of the night, Danny and Tom are about to leave but Tom wants to try to see the spider move one last time, they see it's dead and Tom immediately puts the pieces together. He wants to leave but is afraid that saying something will prompt the boyfriend into revealing what they did so he leaves it to Danny, who is innocent, and then calls the woman weird and underplays her grief as a way to ignore his guilt. On the other hand she is so wrapped up on it being dead that she doesn't even notice the cricket, maybe her boyfriend got rid of it before she could put two and two together. ............or violin shot the baby with it's gun

[@Sushigabby]

sound theory

[@poopoo8475]

i agree cus the girl clearly loved her spiders, no way shed put a live cricket in with her molting baby it was probably the bf or tom

[@kezia_exe]

this seems the most plausible out of everything ive read from the comments

[@bump0005]

I cannot imagine the emotional turmoil of holding your dead baby tarantula in your hand while one pissed acquaintance says it’s just a spider and his equally pissed KZbin celebrity friend hangs over the tank pretending it’s still alive 💀

[@hotcheetosgirl08]

Pretending it’s still alive 😂😂😂

[@kiwi-dy4ok]

I would probably be so mad at that point- 😟

[@krispykreme6082]

* I would be so mad :O

[@opotatoqopotato467]

I’m crying laughing

[@earthavi]

i'm so glad i read this comment first before listening to this lol i have a tarantula (not a baby--almost 14!) and it makes me too sad to hear about any dying 😞

[@fm6732]

just imagine your holding you dead spider IN YOUR HANDS, grieving, and this man who you barely know is tapping at the tank telling you he sees it in there.

[@k.k.7797]

😭😂

[@maggieledezma6218]

LMFAOOOOOO 💀😭😭

[@SarahYork]

AND THE GUY TAPPING THE TANK IS AN INTERNET CELEBRITY??? INSULT TO INJURY.

[@Letthembelightpeaceonelove]

The wonders of alcohol

[@Kissable-st4r]

“No no it’s still alive it’s in the corner”

[@5victoria5]

i genuinely thought danny was gonna say that the baby spider wasn't in the tank when they went back to see it and everyone just assumed it got out somewhere in the house, but after he and tom left their place, it would be one of those cliche movie moments where the more chaotic friend (tom) goes to danny "look at this" and he pulls the baby spider out of his pocket lol

[@Kelsey1994]

That would have been unhinged 😂

[@izzytepe]

"BECAUSE IT'S THE ONE THING YOU CAN'T REPLACE"

[@AxxLAfriku]

whyd you have to go and make things so complicated? i see the way youre acting like youre somebody else. gets me frustrated. simply admit that i am the funniest and greatest and sm*rtest and coolest and strongest yout*ber of all time! admit it, dear vic

[@mayumigarcia9445]

@@izzytepe LOLLL

[@jelly_ellipsis]

@@AxxLAfriku 🥐🫁🤺

[@sapphire19885]

as soon as he said "We gotta go" my head immediately went back to that video where Danny & Drew reviewed Instagram viral videos and that ones guys catchphrase was "I 👏🏼 GOT 👏🏼 TO 👏🏼GO"

[@josevvn]

PLEASE 😭😭😭 i thought the same

[@Fiammaaa]

SAMEEEE

[@CucumberpatchAddict]

I was looking for this comment lmao "Tom! Gotta go!"

[@no1legobatmanfan]

i think about that video so often

[@gargles5270]

i always think of the twist, “i GOT to Gooby!!!”

[@maddiepatterson8668]

as a political science major i am SCREAMING at danny's explanation of the constitution

[@jordanromesburg6819]

As a US citizen in general, it hurt me to hear

[@briannamurchison9144]

@@jordanromesburg6819 why?

[@kbbandtees8112]

As criminal justice student, SAME. He’s technically not wrong but also definitely not right 😂

[@boomerangswingsbothways]

@@briannamurchison9144Nerds being nerds I guess

[@Stickiestboi]

As a random guy I am also screaming

[@moonriverinc7896]

Somehow Danny looks almost eerily normal while Kurtis looks like he’s starting a cult in the 70s

[@mae8020]

BAHAHHAHAA IM DEAD

[@morganquinn716]

Kurtis is so hot I’d low key consider if it wasn’t toxic

[@gemmafeltovich6130]

"eerily normal" is the best way to describe danny

[@krispykreme6082]

* “eerliy normal”

[@madsenproductions1795]

*cough cough* klaus *cough cough*

[@wh0aheavy]

Can we just get another episode where Kurtis and Danny discuss all the differences in American and Canadian government please lol idk why that cracked me up so much

[@Slaybotdotcom]

I think we all want to see this tbh

[@user-jl4wj6ic8z]

yes please!!!

[@jadablack121]

YES

[@rachelpetrilli3477]

YES PLEASE. COMparing governments series ??

[@beatriza.4626]

please!!!

[@jadegagnon3915]

Kurtis: what’s molting? Danny: you know that episode of spongebob where mr.krabs molts? Kurtis: oh yeah, he like loses his shell and is naked Danny: yeah Kurtis: yeah Danny: yeah, it’s not like that

[@abby3154]

😭😭😭

[@maxwellgrimsley]

Had me cackling 💀

[@weepyllama]

IT'S SO FUNNY THAT DANNY SAID IT LIKE THAT 😭😭

[@ploppedmop7010]

16:15

[@StormyTalks]

The single brain cell bouncing back and forth between them like a tennis match.

[@Jasnah.Kholin]

when Danny asked if "you guys" have a constitution I thought he meant in Kurtistown, not Canada

[@MelissaLawrence2002]

You've been a part of KurtisTown for too long lol. I don't blame you for the confusion though, I can definitely see where you got that though. #KurtisTownConstitution should be written 😂

[@mrfrogkingg]

@@MelissaLawrence2002 KurtisTown constitution: 1) You have to be nice to the mayor, it's the law.

[@Opheliaa.7.3]

​@@mrfrogkinggthat's hilarious 😭😭😭

[@stagcowboy]

“its just not our place to be there when this girl’s spider is dead.” -Danny Gonzalez, 2022

[@fricketyfracktraintrack]

r/brandnewsentence

[@apoxfox]

I believe Tom planned this from the beginning. First he took his friend Danny to the karaoke bar with the knowledge that the couple would be there that night. Then he convinced them to invite him over, then he used Danny as a distraction while he snuffed out the spider in secret. Case closed

[@Abhishek-ue6tj]

It was Laura...

[@Arichiiii]

@@Abhishek-ue6tj Tom was the one that gave Laura the concert tickets

[@friendlyneigborhoodbean]

@@Arichiiii THE CASE HAS BEEN BLOWN WIDE OPEN

[@Andy-jh2fs]

Another case solved by detective Fox!

[@Xavier-iq6dp]

​@@Abhishek-ue6tj 5😮😩😩😮😮😮

[@Simbley]

obsessed with the fact that danny almost forgot to mention the "grasshopper" which was the vital clue to solving this poor spiders death

[@hareenagiretharan372]

how?

[@mndnny]

WAITT

[@Me-vn3gz]

¿?

[@Me-vn3gz]

is like with snakes that it’s bad for them to be fed live prey?

[@hareenagiretharan372]

@@Me-vn3gz I don't think so tbh the internet says they're meant to be fed live prey

[@slim_streams]

True adhd energy is explaining a story to your friend and stopping to explain what the constitution is

[@nospoonfulofmayonnaiseforme]

TRUE

[@kosmicheskayaprogrammacccp9319]

Very true

[@ananyasahay]

so true

[@haileyj6902]

real

[@CursedCaptainGaming]

Can indeed confirm

[@astronomical926]

Danny asking in complete sincerity "Can you do CPR on a spider?" is one of the funniest things I've ever heard

[@krushamae]

"The rest is still unwritten" -Natasha Bedingfield, 2004, about the Canadian constitution

[@nabd341]

😂😂😂

[@rebekahmccann6429]

My input as a tarantula owner: you guys are right, most spider deaths happen during the moulting phase. This is usually because something disturbs them before their new exoskeleton has fully formed/hardened. So my two theories are that the culprit was either the grasshopper you saw in the tank, or it possibly could've been the lady herself. She might have killed it just by picking it up. You say it looked dead even before then, but usually spiders are pretty still right after moulting because it takes a lot of energy, so I think the theory could still work.

[@melissahotta8641]

My theory is that she was feeding it crickets that were too large, hence it being described as a grasshopper, and since it was still in the enclosure (despite her knowing that it was about to molt) that it is the culprit. A cricket that’s too large could absolutely quickly kill a vulnerable tarantula. But then again she also could have accidentally killed it by picking it up so soon after a molt. Who knows. It’s tragic either way.

[@rebekahmccann6429]

@@melissahotta8641 Yeah I think that's most likely what happened. But just for the drama of it all we can't really rule her out as a suspect too

[@coffeemouth_]

110% agree. I was also so confused by her saying she should have stayed home to be there for him bc she absolutely could not have done anything to prevent it from happening

[@melissahotta8641]

@@rebekahmccann6429 ah yes, round up the suspects! I wouldn’t rule her out at all, she sounds pretty irresponsible as an invert keeper, honestly.

[@SharkUsingaComputer]

@@melissahotta8641 ikr? not handling molting tarantulas is like rule number one

[@daniellebreedlove3828]

Your right Danny many species of Tarantulas do shoot hairs/kick hairs. I believe the hairs are barbed as well. They can get stuck in your skin or eyes and cause irritation.

[@scarfypedia]

funny enough porcupines don't though!

[@OvrStim1]

@@scarfypedia Porcupine shoot their spines like bullets (well, maybe not exactly). And they are barbed. If they get stuck in your eye, you're not keeping that eye.

[@AndreaVazquezOMG]

yesss very annoying feelin

[@_rottingfish]

Great now I’m even more afraid

[@m0bz0mb38]

Yeah they do that as a threat when cornered though, it's not usually something they do as pets if they are treated respectfully besides moving them to a new enclosure because they are very territorial or messing with their eggsacks but their are some aggressive species that do kick hairs alot and some can rub their hairs together to make hissing sounds to ward off threats

[@hannahmacnamee7988]

my theory: tom tried to feed the tarantula the grasshopper who then killed the tarantula because they're so delicate when they moult, which explains why he wanted to leave so quickly as the girl would know she didn't feed the tarantula and know it was tom. tom used the grasshopper as an asassin. case closed.

[@himbosuplex]

late reply but this is legit my thought

[@qimori8094]

this makes total sense! definitely the answer

[@umetninaa]

i just love how respectfully Danny talks about this baby spider, im really touched

[@melissahotta8641]

It’s REALLY bad tarantula husbandry to put a cricket in with a molting/ freshly molted tarantula. Most stop eating before they molt, so any live and uneaten prey needs to be removed in a short period to keep them safe. Their new exoskeleton is SO soft that a cricket can kill a freshly molted tarantula if they don’t get to it WHILE it’s molting. They even molt their fangs so feeding a tarantula too soon can damage their fangs, making it harder for them to eat, and they eventually starve. They can get stuck in their old exoskeleton as well which is pretty much a death sentence. The first line of defense for many species of tarantula is to kick their urticating hairs or posture to make themselves look bigger and scarier. Some species can also make a sort of hissing noise called stridulation and others are quicker to strike. Those hairs are freaking BRUTAL! They can get stuck in your skin, your eyes, or you can even get them in your lungs if they kick up enough of a cloud, and they’re CRAZY irritating. They cause itching and burning when they come into contact with your skin. Thankfully my tarantula doesn’t kick hers, but I’m pretty careful not to piss her off lol Also, to answer the question about emergency care for tarantulas, if you catch it when it starts to go into a death curl there is a couple of things you can try that might help, but generally once they start to die there’s not a ton that you can do.

[@hotsexyangel]

This is so interesting i never knew all this!! & aw it’s so sad to know there’s nothing u can do to help the little guys if something goes wrong :(

[@melissahotta8641]

@@hotsexyangel they’re super interesting critters! If you’re really observant and have eyes on your tarantula often you should be able to catch it as soon as they start to have an emergency, which means you can do some diagnostics and sometimes you can save them. But it really is so easy to prevent most issues by doing your research before buying a tarantula. That’s not to say that accidents don’t happen, and even the most experienced keepers have deaths, but not for preventable reasons.

[@MarcHendry]

what does the cricket do? just disturb the tarantula? or kick it or something?

[@sageisokay]

@@MarcHendry crickets can bite! and even a small injury can be game over for a tarantula on a good day, when they’re molting its a death sentence

[@zaya9993]

@@MarcHendry crickets are very evil creatures. i raise them for my frog and i much prefer the isopods that perform cleaning for the tank. though both species tend to become cannibalistic when not fed. my guess is that the cricket didn’t have anything else to feed on in that tank and tried to bite the spider.

[@Ankha-]

My boyfriend and I are heavily into the tarantula hobby (together we currently own around 40), and I have a few things to clear up: 1) Slings (spiderlings, baby spiders) can die very easily during a molt, it's unfortunately very common. It's one of the reasons Ts lay so many eggs. However, knowing there was a cricket in there, it is likely it was killed during the molting process by the cricket. You do not want food anywhere near tarantulas during or after molting, because their bodies are so vulnerable. Spiders shouldn't even have food near them from days to weeks post molt, depending on their age. 2) Urticating hairs, especially if in the eyes or breathed in, are no joke. But it does mean that the tarantula in question probably doesn't have very potent venom, on a positive note. More venomous tarantulas tend to lack the ability to shoot hairs in return for stronger venom and faster moving speeds. 3) Tarantulas absolutely have personalities! All of mine act completely different from eachother. I have one old man tarantula in particular who is an absolute sweetheart who will come up to me to say hi, even, whereas I have another that will get ready to kick hairs if I walk by her enclosure. They have mannerisms, favorite spots, favorite foods, ect just like dogs would! They just act a little different because of their anatomy.

[@help6691]

40!!!?? Good for you, i can’t even handle a tiny spider on the wall

[@melissahotta8641]

@@help6691 chances are if they have a collective 40 tarantulas, they aren’t handling them often, if at all since responsible owners take cues from their individual Ts. Some are super jumpy and will literally JUMP out of your hand in some sort of kamikaze maneuver if you try to hold them. Their abdomen is like a water balloon and will pop if they’re dropped so unless you know FOR SURE that it will tolerate handling, it’s safest not to. I was crazy surprised to hear that this girl was so okay with picking up a freshly molted sling/ juvenile tarantula. So irresponsible! Then again, she was happy to play her $25,000 violin heavily intoxicated so I’m not sure what I expected.

[@ceciliahorner2664]

@@melissahotta8641 In this case, this person is using "handle" to mean "tolerate" my dude

[@melissahotta8641]

@@ceciliahorner2664 that’s the other interpretation. I was coming from the perspective of an invert keeper, as when we are discussing handling that’s what we mean. I’m in multiple other threads that were discussing handling so I must have been in total tarantula keeper brain to have gone that direction or mistaken this conversation for a different one. Thanks for pointing that out. I’m sure my comment was confusing 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@ceciliahorner2664]

@@melissahotta8641 Haha np you're good!

[@thesingularityseed]

Danny gets invited by a couple back to their place: Oh I know where this is going Danny begins to talk about tarantulas: I have no idea where this is going

[@kailajensen1021]

me

[@peterdanior4538]

Yes, the whole time I’m like “oh they had an orgy

[@gummidon1618]

Yeah I kept thinking something else was gonna happen everytime a new detail was added

[@ghostlyamy]

if anyone's wondering: an unwritten constitution just means its not codified into one document and is spread out over a number of different bills (laws)! fun fact the UK's constitution is wholly unwritten and despite many attempts no one has been able to count how many constitutional documents there are lol

[@sashuni1064]

Thank you!

[@AnneICA]

I usually can't stand spiders but this story really made me feel empathy towards that poor baby spider, this is so sad 😭

[@Cera_01]

Thank you for collabing with smaller channels like Danny ♡

[@spacedout4061]

Lol

[@cannon9962]

EVERY TIME

[@butimacheerleader]

he’s so underrated!

[@AboutAGirIlllll]

LMAO

[@m0bz0mb38]

He needs to make a new version of your dog is not as cute as you think it is but with a tarantula and Kurtis

[@ShadowGirl3055]

Haven't even finished the video yet but as a tarantula owner who loves spiders more than anything, I am bubbling over with excitement right now about a tarantula-themed story Edit: oh no

[@trinket_lover]

as someone who has finished the video and doesn't know a lot about spiders please update me on your thoughts after finishing it, I'm curious

[@ShadowGirl3055]

@@trinket_lover Okay, so this actually hit pretty close to home. Just less than a week ago I also had a one-year-old spiderling die in a molt. It's always so sad when something like this happens. But anyway, my honest thoughts are this: There is one pretty glaring husbandry mistake that was made on the part of the owner. It's a rule of thumb to never leave feeder insects in with a tarantula if they don't eat them, crickets especially. Crickets may opportunistically prey on the tarantula while it's molting and vulnerable, when the spider can't defend itself. It's an easy mistake to make though. I mean, who would think a little cricket could hurt a spider? The other thing is that you never want to hold a tarantula during or right after the molting process. It's really dangerous for the spider while they're still soft and pliable. Regardless, it's clear this woman had the best intentions in mind for her spider. There's no such thing as perfect husbandry with zero mistakes, and those are common mistakes to make. It's likely that the bad molt wasn't her fault at all, especially if the spider showed no signs of being attacked by the cricket. It's just the unfortunate thing about animals like spiders--they have so many babies because so few naturally make it to adulthood. :(

[@gerby6000]

@@ShadowGirl3055 well i mean she should know not to feed her spider for a period of time after molting because it can fuck up their teeth in the hardening process

[@Noise_floorxx]

Girl bye

[@gerby6000]

@@Noise_floorxx google it then?

[@finxeythemushroom6065]

Just wanna appreciate the fact that legit non of the jokes where directed at the girl, what I love about you guys, so respectfully and relentlessly funny

[@WYIN98]

Yes! I love Kurtis, Danny, and Drew because they don't have to make fun of people to get a laugh out of me

[@kellynorton4382]

100% agree. It’s fucking refreshing.

[@finxeythemushroom6065]

@@retromuppet which jokes may I ask? You’re totally fine to not like the jokes I’m just curious, cause I didn’t see any ones that where in bad taste

[@finxeythemushroom6065]

@@retromuppet to be fair that bit is making fun of his friend who was being a bit of a ass, though I see where you’re coming from

[@natalie1220]

@@retromuppet 💀💀💀

[@gargles5270]

i cannot get over how funny tom urgently telling them they need to leave is

[@skeletonizer9529]

When Danny posted in his story about how he desperately needed a podcast to go on, my first thought was "Very Really Good is right there, bro" so I-m glad to see this :)

[@prism_of_selves]

same here :)

[@daniellemurray8914]

literally same. I was like, just text your bestie bro

[@edie.amelia]

SAME

[@luizhenriquemoreira3980]

i thought the exact same thing

[@breheh]

I was hoping h3 again😩

[@moonriverinc7896]

“A baby tarantula with a bow tie who’s dapper as hell” is such a pleasing image. I’m so happy now. Somebody draw this pls.

[@kayla-bf1yx]

That's just spider with a top hat from star forces

[@7ris7an.]

On it!

[@KaylaKasel]

@@kayla-bf1yx Literally my first thought. Thank you for the mind meld.

[@genericname8727]

I would but it’s my birthday and I’m going out to dinner with my family soon. If you genuinely want someone to draw it though then remind me later because it sounds like fun. (I’m not the best artist but I think I’m decent).

[@pengooplanepilot105]

aww :)) i like to imagine that the little tarantula is just vibing in spider heaven as a dapper little guy now

[@christiebreeechelon]

I'm glad he found a friend to tell his story to.

[@manboy4720]

it was really weird that he was just talking to himself for the entire video, but an imaginary friend is better then none.

[@amandarockhold8390]

ik those videos where he's just talking to himself are concerning

[@kailajensen1021]

@@amandarockhold8390 wait which videos is he talking to himself in

[@kbbandtees8112]

Danny explaining the constitution as “just like, all of the law” is so funny and yet so accurate

[@illreadwhatshesreading]

I was 12 when I went over to this girl's house for the first time and she showed me her pet chihuahua, which was like 15 years old or something. the dog was lying in this doghouse but opened his eyes when we came over to him. anyways, we go inside and hang out for a little while, then her dad (who was the principal at our school btw) comes home and tells her that the dog has died. she was shocked because he seemed totally fine before, but yeah. oof. so, in the hour or so that we'd seen him and her dad coming home, the dog had died. the dad then brings the dog's body out in a bin bag for her to say good-bye to it before he takes it away somewhere to dispose of it. it was so awkward. I felt really bad, obviously, but this girl's beloved dog had just died, she was crying, and im just standing there like O_O I had to call my mum to pick me up early. so don't worry Danny, I know exactly how you feel lol.

[@boiledchicken8794]

Oh gosh! 😭

[@tomhermann1167]

I think Tom picked up the spider earlier, already thought he killed it but hoped it just slept so when the girl picked it up and confirmed the death he got stressed

[@li.theo.4]

Interesting theory, *Tom.* Looks like a confession to me…

[@tomhermann1167]

@@li.theo.4 I'll never confess!!!

[@jampsonn1826]

I'm a high level arachnophobe and yet I felt so sad listening to this story. I couldn't imagine the heartbreak of realizing your pet is dead, especially when you're shit faced! Poor girl, and poor spider honestly

[@JubbysDragons]

My guinea pig died on February 13th this year and I was drunk, had looked at all of them before going to get a water and when I came back he was dead, I had to wake up my fiance to tell him and he thought I was joking and went back to sleep, i stayed up all night making him a coffin, he woke up in the morning and had to go bury him :(

[@JubbysDragons]

It is a weird thing to find when your shitfaced is all

[@Jenny-it9iz]

⁠@@JubbysDragons how old was your guinea pig ??? you’re scaring me I have a guinea pig and he’s my anxious baby

[@JubbysDragons]

@@Jenny-it9iz He was a runt pig. And a hairless guinea pig. He only got to about 1.5 yrs :( but his brother is also hairless but he is very large. 14 inches long and very healthy he's 2 yrs old now. And then I have two normal American guinea pigs and they are 3 yrs and 4.5 yrs. I do really miss him he was my favorite among them, so adorable

[@Jenny-it9iz]

@@JubbysDragons Aww rest in peace :(( I'm sure he was great . Mine just turned 2 years old a month ago, I'm not sure the breed but his is white with orange patches on his ear and butt. He also has a small bite hole on his ear from what I'm guessing is the other guinea pigs he was with as a baby so he has a lot of anxiety but it's gotten a bit better .

[@alessandrafama6060]

I actually have a similar story but from the position of the pet owner. In my 2nd year of college, my roommate and I got a black pop eyed goldfish (Steve Buscwimmy). He was smaller than all the other fish at the pet store, and he had lopsided fins like nemo. He wasn’t a great swimmer, but we loved him for it. One weekend, this guy I met on tinder came to stay the night for the first time. I was super excited to introduce him to Steve. Anyway, we partied that night and crashed in my dorm. When I woke up the next morning, I went to check on Steve. Turns out, since he wasn’t a strong swimmer, he had gotten caught in the air filter over night and kicked the bucket. I was mortified, and this poor tinder guy had to be there while I was mourning the loss of my goldfish. So yeah, pour one out for Steve

[@hotsexyangel]

🫗🫗 one for Steve and one for the baby tarantula

[@deadlykota]

i am so sorry for your loss and i cannot imaging having people around you when a pet dies, but the name steve buscwimmy is fucking taking me OUT

[@Man-ej6uv]

steve was a legend (

[@jelly_ellipsis]

I also had a fish named Steve years ago. I moved a few hours away and I think the traveling was too much for him. After a few days I was trying to show my friend and he was dead. Steve is a really good name for a fish.

[@mothmanlol6263]

That’s a fantastic name I’m sorry for your loss

[@heathensongs]

Okay ik it's been a year but if anyone's wondering I've been searching the web to see if you can do anything to save a tarantula from bad molting and apparently it is possible. The reason the girl mightve said she shouldve stayed at home is because they lose a lot of moisture during the process so you should always keep a bowl of fresh water in their cage. Also if you see the tarantula molting asymmetrically you can use a paintbrush or a soft material to help it out and you can actually save it. The website i checked also says that you should give it at least 24-48 hrs before calling your spider dead cause it's pretty common for them to stay perfectly still even if it's unusual for them during the process. So if she buried the spider or something she mightve buried it alive... Or maybe the spider came back to life and you never knew. And i did this research although i have a mild phobia of bugs so now i feel like my arms and neck are itching rn. But was it worth it? Def not. Hope someone reads this and actually finds it helpful.

[@maxwellgrimsley]

As someone who has spiders and has lost some, it truly broke my heart. To others it’s just a spider, but when you bond with them and raise them up, it truly is losing a friend/child. So I really appreciate the respect and kindness Danny showed her. That was absolute king shit

[@placeholderdoe]

It’s still a pet

[@macandcheese8251]

The “It’s just a spider” people are the people that get the most upset when a cat or dog dies, it’s heartbreaking either way 💔

[@onabalcony]

baby spider and scary spider? they just need sporty, ginger and posh

[@Annicamd]

He ain’t scary he’s violent

[@sarahmarlow1153]

@@Annicamd ya but then the spice girls joke doesn’t work lol

[@kyliehargreeves5250]

they also need jared spider now

[@loreendi39]

I was so sure Tom stole the spider when he went "we gotta go"

[@RainbowSpecial]

Stole it or let it out of its enclosure

[@mr.jawsum]

yes omg i remember seeing danny’s story like “anyone have a podcast i can go on to tell a story 🥺🥺”

[@zach-tx9ij]

BAHAHAHA

[@kyleeky1ee]

ik I was hoping it would be w kurt

[@hollberryy]

yeppp I replied saying vrg or a sadboyz comeback eeek

[@yostinator81]

He was already on here

[@gemscorner7476]

YES AND THE BACKGROUND PHOTO 😭

[@edithz7781]

No way I sat for this whole story, when the crazy part is a spider dying 😭😭

[@jart2927]

why was danny describing this story as sooo funny lmao

[@niaavaadams1200]

Dude, if one of my friends mouthed "we HAVE to go NOW" urgently after something happened, I would be SO scared and immediately try to leave, especially when it's someone they know and I don't. Like I would literally crap my pants not even kidding

[@graceholmes9219]

nothing, literally NOTHING could have prepared me for this story

[@Man-ej6uv]

ikr wtf

[@lilmissemi]

honestly before the spiders were mentioned i thought this was like a weird sex thing 💀

[@rinashort3919]

my mind went to organ stealing when he said he went to the apartment and it was "weird"

[@KreeZafi]

Lmao same. The fact that he kept mentioning "other couples" hanging out with them made me think that couple who invited them home thought Danny and Tom were also a couple and tried to initiate some sort of swinger thing or a fourway or whatever 🙈

[@itsmeezee3818]

I don't think Danny would ever tell that..kinda story xD

[@genericname8727]

@@KreeZafi he was single for the night lol

[@genericname8727]

@@itsmeezee3818 if it was just a misunderstanding that wound up as a funny story he might, I’d assume.

[@ninalove3044]

Kurtis looks like he should be playing vinyl records at a radio station in 1973, and Danny looks like every boy I went to elementary school with in the 90s lol 🤣💗✌️

[@spookkook]

I love Kurtis's shirt so much. Also Tom seems like a douchebag. Maybe it's just bc he was drunk, but answering for Danny before even asking him, wanting to hold a spider even when told it's violent, saying they have to leave the second stuff goes south and putting the pressure on Danny rather than doing it himself, and having the gal to say the girl is weird after her pet just died. Wtf

[@chattymime]

Nah he definitely sounds like a dick. I was waiting for a conclusion after where tom had some reason to wanna dip so quickly so at least that part would have been justified, but nope…sounds like he’s just kind of an asshole

[@chattymime]

and him being like “oh come on it’s just a spider!” bitch whyyyy would you fking say that

[@charlotte-hills]

A mad scientist who just makes weird animal hybrids and has a lot of connections in the music industry is a character that I would watch 10 seasons of

[@thetwelfthuwu1492]

Also this mad scientist invites drunk people to her apartment, perhaps this is how she collects subjects? 👀

[@tehnative9779]

Lol when Danny pressed Kurtis about the constitution, I panicked as well. Lol I learned that today too!

[@user-oc7vc2yy3o]

Danny's partially right but a constitution only refers to rules that the government has to follow. It basically sets up what powers different parts of the government have and says what they can and can't do. What he's thinking of are the Amendments and they basically put limits on government power. Like that under normal circumstances the government can't throw people in jail for what they say. I don't know about Canada though I am but a stinky little American.

[@tehnative9779]

@@user-oc7vc2yy3o Yes I agree, the reason why I panicked was because I felt someone was going to ask me about our non written rules as the ones that need to know, know.

[@pigeont1221]

Can you maybe sneak me to canada

[@dallleekah4035]

For the light under the chin bit at the beginning, this peculiar lighting is scary because it's unnatural. We are used to seeing people's faces being lit from the top so the inverse of that feels creepy to our monkey brains

[@kailajensen1021]

omg my monkey brain needed this

[@texasroadhouse3141]

it’s kind of like that upside down photo of adele

[@ranXd0m]

I feel so bad for the girl and her pet omg, Danny told the story so well and I appreciate how respectful and kind they were

[@Hopeskyesk]

I know this video is super old but I just wanted to share this story: when I was in 4th grade, we had a tarantula as a class pet. One day we came into class and we all thought she died. She was crinkled up in a ball and not moving. We were all so sad and we spent all day talking about her and how we were going to memorialize her. Then at the end of the day, she suddenly came up from dirt (or whatever it was) in her tank and she was fully alive. Turns out she had molted then burrowed herself in her tank so we all thought her molt was actually her body and she was dead. We were all so relieved and we kept her molt in a jar by her tank for the rest of the year. I 100% thought that’s where Danny’s story was going to end and I’m sad that her spider was actually dead unlike my class pet 🥲

[@jyldyznurdi9957]

kurtis not knowing if canada has a constitution is so funny to me

[@ellyamarie2168]

I'm Canadian and I didn't know either lol

[@aurorabuciochavez7782]

@@ellyamarie2168 pretty sure our charter of freedoms is like our “constitution”

[@wowmiauu]

i remember how broken i was when my older tarantula died, but i couldn't stop myself from laughing at the image of her just going "it died" with a single tear rolling down her face 😭

[@noamtzvirun9485]

Why everyone saying this but ignorant to the fact that she handled him while thinking he was alive she's so fricking neglectful

[@wowmiauu]

@@noamtzvirun9485 wdym? some tarantulas tolerate handling well and it can be done without stressing or harming the t, i handle mine if i need to do something with the enclosure or if someone who hasn't seen one before wants to try. I can read her body language

[@ohnoourtableitsbroken9632]

I actually love how every once in a while kurtis will look over at the camera, almost like he is looking at you to make sure your still paying attention lol

[@shaunbarrie2263]

Really appreciate how kind Danny was in this situation and in the retelling. Even those he doesn't like spiders, he could still empathize thinking about how it would hurt if it was his own pet that passed on in this socially bizarre circumstance. The internet can be so mean to people with unconventional pets. My wife and I used to have snakes and people we met irl could be so fucking rude and insensitive about them, so I can only imagine how frustrating it can be to be a tarantula owner.

[@crypticpaige]

danny is so good at telling this story i was SO invested im glad kurtis had him on

[@MJ-xm5zv]

kurtis' reaction to his sister's hamster dying is so funny "and you're being serious?" lol

[@kailajensen1021]

tbf I thought Danny was joking until kurtis said that and Danny was like yeah

[@StevieBeanBeans]

If you’re right about a cricket being in there while it was molting, the cricket is the murderer

[@placeholderdoe]

Nah, it was Tom

[@amalieyach5696]

who put the cricket there? Probably not the girl who was apparently super worried about leaving it at all

[@emilymueller4468]

best murder mystery culprit of all time, no one suspected him at all.

[@noamtzvirun9485]

@@amalieyach5696 the girl suggested holding it while he molts tho so she's prolly left the cricket there too she's just neglectful honestly

[@savannah6508]

okay but if she knew not to put a cricket in there why would she think it would be okay to pick it up? 😭

[@Hoopergames]

You know what, I'm gonna say it, this podcast is very really good

[@SparkyGecko]

Simple yet....profound

[@jasper1529]

Omg he said it! He said the thing!

[@Hoopergames]

@@jasper1529 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@Hoopergames]

@@jasper1529 idk why but this made me cackle 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@ashleyclonch6181]

I have a pet tarantula and when he molts, it is literally a copy of its entire body. My husband has thought our spider was dead twice. Which is where I thought this story was going!

[@sarapasss]

I’m fucking living for Danny’s frog shirt this duo is pure serotonin

[@cannon9962]

karaoke, wine with a music producer, and tarantulas, that’s the nightlife of big chicago youtuber man, “Danny Gonzalez”

[@Liex59]

Why do I imagine you're wearing sunglasses and talking with your hands sayin this

[@carmosilva3589]

Chicago? I only know chigaco

[@3lliephant]

Interviewer: So how do you feel about fighting Danny today Violin: ᴵ’ᵐ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ᵇᵉ ˢᵒ ᵛᶦᵒˡᵉⁿᵗ ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ⁿᵒʷ

[@DAFLOLCB]

Violint*

[@hebedite4865]

I love hearing Danny and Kurtis learn about tarantulas. I have 9 and its so funny to hear about. Yes they do kick hairs. They burn soooo bad too

[@hebedite4865]

And the emergency care for a tarantula is only making a tiny little "icu" where you get a wet paper towel and place it on it to possibly rehydrate, other than that there is nothing you can do.

[@lemonshark4961]

Yeah it really sucks that there's not a lot of vet care for inverts :/

[@melissahotta8641]

I was crazy surprised to hear that there was a cricket in the enclosure of a tarantula that the owner KNEW was molting. That alone could have killed it! How irresponsible are some invert keepers?!

[@_rottingfish]

Are you the guy who kept buying spiders???

[@m0bz0mb38]

@@melissahotta8641 fr though total animal neglect

[@katewurtz]

The way danny told this story was so satisfying for some reason.

[@sharneceas]

I fully thought this story was going a totally different way when he mentioned that they went back to a couple's apartment for wine. I was like, "Oh, they're definitely swingers." 😅

[@firdosinizam3443]

Lmao same 😭 it’s like my internet brain will always assume anything “weird/strange” involving a couple would be somehow sex related

[@lotusthemermaid]

"Spiders can shoot their hair at you" *New fear unlocked*

[@fabledlight908]

as a south american, they don't do it often, at least the wild ones, best way to make sure you don't get hit is to read their body language, if they "wave" at you, back off, that's them telling you they don't want you that close. Don't worry though, most westerners will never meet a tarantula.

[@watermelondance]

I kept trying to predict what the story was, and everyone time Danny introduced another couple I thought it was going to be a swinger story LOL

[@placeholderdoe]

It’s still a swinger story but instead they’re swinging from webs

[@blavyn12]

I think we all thought this was leading to a swinger story, we should have known better as that really is some low hanging fruit.

[@delaney7851]

I just watched this video..... five days ago, my jumping spider, Beastie passed away, and a lot of people my age (Im a teenager) dont really hang with spiders so they also "its just a spider". It was nice to see people who dont even know spiders well react respectfully. Spiders like trantulas or jumping spiders actually have intelligence like a cat or dog.

[@trashbiscuits1906]

idk why but one of the funniest parts of this whole podcast is learning that Canadians will just kinda be like “lol idk” if you ask them if they have a constitution

[@jrmckim]

As a tarantula parent.. this breaks my heart. It does seem like the owner was a bit careless by allowing a cricket in there while molting and handling during molting. Thats basic spider parenting. And to the guy that said "its only a spider".. that is just rude. But people with spiders get that all the time. I feel like if it was a cat or dog.. they wouldn't make such jokes. Rip lil baby..

[@maddie_5909]

I thought Danny's friend was gonna pick up the violent tarantula after being told not to and get sent to the hospital or something. Or he definitely killed the baby spider

[@evils.presley]

I do appreciate you both trying to be empathetic and sensitive about the spiders, I’ve been in the hobby for years and it makes me sad when people are needlessly hostile toward misrepresented, demonized, tiny creatures.

[@macandcheese8251]

If you don’t like spiders I get it, but I don’t understand why people are constantly so rude 🥺

[@kiralonely1307]

Just wanted to add, the reason the light under the chin looks unnatural is because there's basically no situation irl, naturally, that said lighting will occur. It hits the uncanny valley which amplifies scary stories and atmospheres!

[@potfur_z_bagna]

Dany keeps saying he's a nervous and shy person in his videos, and then he turns around and goes to dinner with two strangers because he has nothing else to do that night 😭

[@cwahlb1]

the setup for this is so funny so ominous “i have a story to tell..”

[@sadezem991]

it was great and the story was insane enough that the build up wasn't too much lmfao

[@hollberryy]

the way I was praying for this after Danny's emergency story time story and the teeny Dan on the chair story too ayyyy edit whilst watching (spoilers if you're not at the crux) tarantulas die if you touch them during or just after they molt, the same happened to my sister's baby one :(

[@meat1575]

do you think tom like picked up the spider before and then later he asked to pick it up again or do they die like instantly

[@moonriverinc7896]

omg maybe Tom had petted the spider before and then felt bad so he came back and asked to hold it but then found out he’d killed it by accident

[@AndreaVazquezOMG]

I think they might have not known this and maybe disturbed the spider before leaving home and unfortunately the spider got caught in the molt, bc literally the best you can do for a molting spider is leave them alone. If she thought she could have been home to help her proves she did not knew they can die if you disturb them during that time, you should know you should leave them alone, and she shouldnt have accepted to them picking the spider up. so sad.

[@MyNameIsntImportantreally]

@@AndreaVazquezOMG to be fair she was inebriated and probably forgot that

[@genericname8727]

@@meat1575 someone said it could’ve been the cricket. Apparently they can easily kill spiders in that vulnerable state, especially if it was too large anyway (which may have been the case if mistaken for a grasshopper).

[@iasminaraujo7109]

At first, I thought they were criminals. Then I thought they were swingers. But for sure I didn't think it all about a spider dieing Shooting body hair would make for a great depilation

[@just_caitlin]

There is actually a breed of spider called the violin spider...

[@graciespaceycakes3714]

maybe I'm just not getting drunk enough but I'm a classically trained violinist of 16 years and I've never been so drunk I couldn't play pachelbel's canon

[@m0bz0mb38]

Yoooo to that's sick!

[@melissahotta8641]

I was thinking the same thing. 24 years of classical violin and I think I’d be on the brink of death if I was so drunk I couldn’t play Pachelbel. She must have been trashed if she was that drunk… and if her violin is worth $25,000 that’s absolutely an accident waiting to happen.

[@bucket6487]

Maybe she's just a really clumsy drunk lol, I can't write when I'm drunk 😅

[@bambi-mp1rh]

i can barely walk when i’m drunk lmao maybe she was a lightweight

[@aronnokazi3882]

yo honestly sick flex

[@skittykay]

THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED ME IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! My best friend got a bearded dragon during Christmas break, the next time we got together I pestered her for HOURS to take it out of its enclosure to hold it. She said she had played with it in the morning and that it was resting, that she didn't want to disturb her. Right before my mom picked me up I finally convinced her to let me hold it, and when she went to pull it out of the cage she knew immediately that it was dead. It was so awkward. Turn out it's tail had gotten scratched by one of their cats while it was out of it's cage and unsupervised, it got all infected and stuff. Danny handled it better than 11 year old me, lol.

[@NatalieeeJayna]

I was holding one of my baby chicks when it died, I feel for this girl honestly. I knew exactly how she knew it was dead right off, it's like you can feel it

[@MystiqMiu]

same with our family's bunny, malibu... like one second i could feel him and the next i couldnt.... just gone.. 3':

[@-desertpackrat]

I've raised rats for half my life now and held so many while they died. It's the worst feeling. But I have to, they need to be held when they're dying, they freak out if you don't hold onto them, poor babies.. so I deal with the pain of having to watch because their comfort is the most important. My first heart rat Yuki got me through high school with depression, he passed in my arms a few months before graduation, he was the first pet I had ever bonded with that much. It was really hard to make it to graduation without him. And also when I was in second grade, my teacher gave me her two class-pet Madagascar hissing cockroaches (they're really cool NOT like nasty sewer roaches, they're jungle bugs), because she couldn't take them, and I raised them over summer. But they only live a little while and I was 8, so I cried super hard when they died.

[@cryptid-king]

Had a pet jumping spider pass recently and it was obvious when it didn't turn to look at me when I opened it's enclosure :/

[@SixtySecondYoga]

You can feel that the spirit is gone

[@potfur_z_bagna]

In Tom's defense, if I was 10 and visiting my friend, and he gave me his sister's hamster to hold, and I accidentally killed it, it would fuck me up. Maybe not up to a point of dedicating my life to killing every small pet I come across, but I understand.

[@QueenKunta]

Kurtis’ natural comedic timing during the constitution segment at 8:22-8:25 was so * chef’s kiss *