Vietnam Voices: 'Sometimes it was mayhem, but it was controlled mayhem'

Vietnam War veteran Allan Hartman talks about his experiences. Hartman joined in the U.S. Army in 1967. He lived in Portland, Ore. His stepfather spent a career in the U.S. Air Force. He actually signed for Hartman at 17 so that he could enlist.

[@faudi23]

This interview was riveting. My emotions went on the roller coaster ride of his experiences. The rawness and the soul bearing he shared was heart wrenching. 😢😢😢 Then he brings us back to current time where he adjusted and has led a full and rewarding life. What an honor to welcome you home. Thank you for your service.

[@theodoremartin6153]

Its pretty obvious its women like you that kept this country together . Teach it to your daughters will ya?

[@patrickmchose7472]

Can't be said any better. Thank you ma'am.

[@jasoncarskadon6809]

This is a truly powerful interview. It took alot courage to tell his story. Thank you, and God bless him for sharing his story.

[@johnalves3583]

Thanks for sharing Allan. What a powerful interview. I shed tears when he spoke of his Mother and her telling him to come home safe. I can’t imagine how they both felt at that time. Also, Kudos to the Billings Gazette for a great series of interviews.

[@tomhughes9639]

One of the most emotional videos I have seen. God bless them all.

[@bobbylawrence4912]

Thank all of you, Vietnam Veterans, for your service in the war. Thank you for the part of you that you gave for others. I missed being there by a razor's edge. I made plans to go. My father died of cancer when I was a senior in high school. He was an Army Veteran who served during the Korean War. I took the ASVAB Test and scored in the 99 th percentile. Recruiters were contacting me from every branch of the Armed Forces. My mother would hang up the phone on them and tell them "Don't call back again! He's not interested!" . She did the same when they came to our home. She slammed the door in their face. She was afraid that I would go to Vietnam and be one of the last soldiers to get killed. I was the oldest child. The thought of losing me and my father at the same time was unnerving to her. During this time, the war ended. Because of this , I feel a connectedness to Vietnam Veterans. I took ROTC in college up until I looked at the future possibilities with the military and decided to be a teacher. The good Lord had other plans for me. Thank each one of you for the sacrifices you made on my behalf. You are loved and appreciated.❤🙏🤗🙌🙌🙌

[@Kenaiwolf]

I love this guy for how deeply he reached in order to convey the emotion and sensations of Vietnam, as well as his home life. THANK YOU!

[@kennethbush7596]

Thank you for your service and welcome home. Nam was the hardest conflict the USA has ever been involved in. These guys are tough as nails

[@jameswheeler7679]

This Interview is so powerful he probably has been holding is emotions for yrs none of us can know what war is like unless we have been there every person who has been to Vietnam is my hero.

[@giovanniamabile1285]

Fantastic interview!

[@gratitude62]

i am very grateful for this entire series. thank you very much for these interviews, and my greatest appreciation for all these guys. this guy is a treasure, like them all.

[@stevewelborn8744]

This man has been to hell and back. Thank you for making it and your service.

[@jonness8927]

WOW! I've watched a lot of these videos ,and this was one of the most touching! Welcome home Allan.

[@Joseph-ft4gh]

Listening to this man really shows what the Vietnam war did to so many young men. It wasn’t just being in Vietnam fighting a war at 18 years old, but struggling when returning to the USA. So glad he was able to turn his life around. A huge THANK YOU to this man for not only his service but for sharing his story..

[@Joseph-ft4gh]

Just watched this story and what a true hero and gentleman. He sure is a perfect example of “when the going gets tough, the tougzh get going”. Thank you Sir for your service and welcome home!

[@225rip]

When my brother came home from Nam we didn't understand him. I wish this video was available then. He has past now and we never understood his PTSD. Great job and thank you.

[@jovanblom7742]

Another valuable interview. These interviews will mean even more in the future.

[@soylentgreen2065]

I cannot express how proud I am of this man. And to his wife, thank you, thank, thank you for making him happy, he deserves it. And to all VN vets who may read this, welcome home, we love you and you are more than anyone can ever fully appreciate. God bless you all.

[@jinyingjiang4628]

Thank you for your service ! God bless you and yours.

[@groth3395]

Some of the guys interviewed are unable to adequately express their thoughts and feelings. Hartman isn't one of them. He is an interesting man with the intelligence and self-awareness to coherently tell his story - which I think - not intentionally perhaps - is on behalf of those who are unable to do so. I think these interviews are a priceless treasure and part of the fabric of America. If I was teaching history in high school or college, these interviews would be part of my curriculum. The interview resurrects painful memories he'd rather forget. But he labored through it and eloquently so.

[@chrisfrench8511]

Thank you for your service. God bless you Allan.

[@tundrawomansays5067]

What an extraordinary "ordinary" person you are, sir. Thank you and welcome home. If it was pretty terrifying listening to your narrative (and I've been listening to, working with and for combat vets since the early 70s) I can only imagine the incredible stress of living it. The only "problems" a 17/18 yr. old kid should be dealing with is whether or not they have enough money for gas for the car for their hot date this weekend-not whether or not they're gonna live through a hot LZ over and over again. Best wishes to you and your family. Thanks again for your service and participation in this project. I appreciate you pointing out one of the primary responsibilities we have as parents is to foster INdependence, not DEpendence in our kids. We don't have to agree with their decisions as young adults, but it's our job to set them free and take comfort in the realization that part of our task is completed. No one said we had to like it, just do it: Nothing ever fledged without an opportunity-or a dozen!

[@8877robert]

yeah and then he came "home" to realize he didn't have a home, no real connections or place to even just be and collect himself. Great guy.

[@8877robert]

Also he says he not exceptional., but he is .. to go thru that and rebound to find real connection and his family..as he said to not be "defined " by his experience. now here he is telling others that they "have to move on"... absolutely exceptional. Also, obviously he's not "over it" it's right there in him.. he has to harness it each and every hour of every day. has to put one foot forward and "move on" which he's done. let it be a lesson that all these vets , they ALL need a welcome home and services..and care and treatment. This man did it himself. All by himself at least until he was able to meet his wife...good for him. God's speed.

[@mickeymortimer4407]

@@8877robert yeah, like you said, he was suggesting people think thoughts unrelated to Vietnam and have new experiences, moving on like you said. He handled Vietnam so well but it was what awaited him at "home" that took advantage of his youth and vulnerability and lack of support, he was on his own, through everybody's neglect. In the war he had warriors all around him. Good to see how he hung in there and God helped him. Another great American Vietnam veteran. Love from Australia

[@markpoore3260]

Thank you for your service sir welcome home

[@JRandallS]

Thanks for sharing your great story, and transparency. Also, good interview.

[@donjones4372]

This Vet is on point, came home 1969. Left Vietnam on Braniff Airways, less than 24 hours you transplanted from a war zone to the America you don’t understand any more. PTSD was not being being diagnosed then. I think the only thing that saved me was police departments were begging for officers, the camaraderie plus you were serving and chasing bad guys helped. Welcome Home to All my Brothers out there 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@frankirwin2377]

Big Kudos this was by far the Best Interview. For us guys that went into the Far East this one best rounds up the 60s that we went thru and when we came home to unwelcomes.

[@robertroselle9082]

Sorry Frank, you participated in a war of agression against a people who were doing, in the 1960s, the same that a group English colonists did in the 1760s... fighting against an oppressive power for their freedom. People have a RIGHT TO choose for themselves the kind of system they would live under! It does not matter that YOU don't like the political or economic system THEY choose...it is not your F___ing country!!! You do not live there. The sooner people accept this the better off the world would be!

[@martintully6742]

Powerful interview. His raw emotion made this interview excel. In his stories, I could almost envision him flying my late Father into hot LZs during the war. My Dad was a Green Beret in the 5th Special Forces Group in the Central Highlands. He served in the Republic of South Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and North Vietnam 1967-1969.

[@deadarmd]

What a great story. He tells it so well.

[@pbrucpaul]

This guy is going through powerful feelings of the realities of that war. The sad thing was going through the scorn and disinterest of others when they got back due to the power of a media. I can just imagine the overwhelming terror and adrenaline disappearing once you're away from combat, trying to take in normalcy, and getting a nasty "shut up" attitude from others, or changing the subject like getting a bucket of ice water thrown at you. No wonder there was severe PTSD back then, and drug use.

[@jhon7674]

God bless you Allan Hartman a real man with heart and soul

[@brownspot9]

Allan....I thank for telling the human side of the war. Your presentation touch my soul in so many ways. Dam....your an awesome man/father/husband and veteran🇺🇸

[@llamont2336]

Mr. Hartman, thank you for your service and thank you for sharing your life during this interview. At 56:04 - You were NEVER A BUM. Your service was not in vain. You stepped up and fought for the greatest Country on the planet when duty called. You lived a life before you were even able to legally consume alcohol. We love you. Thank you and thank that lovely lady of yours. God bless🙏🏽

[@redbike6340]

Welcome home Allan 🇬🇧🇺🇸. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD and can connect well with Allan's story. I self medicated for years just to function, eventually it stopped helping and made me only worse. In total I have been in therapy for roughly 4 years, together with medication I have a life that I can live. Can't have a close relationship, that's a bridge too far, but I am mostly calm, reasonably social and sleep well, albeit with meds. Endurance sports and music make me feel good. Occasional rage and tears are never really far away but with help I have been able to carry my horrors. If you have PTSD you should seek profesional help. They helped me a hell of a lot. You wont be able to forget but you can let it 'be there', if that makes sense. God Bless and Good Luck to all.

[@zplapplap]

Sometimes a circumstance can speak for itself. Imagine returning from war, having served as a door gunner in Vietnam, and being young enough at age 19 to return to a traditional high school. It’s next level cognitive dissonance. I truly can only imagine. Just a stunning story about a return from Vietnam. This man has accomplished so much. His is a story of perseverance, fortitude, and gratitude.

[@kurtericmunroe9358]

This dude is awesome.

[@mikem3875]

This is one of the best in this series

[@anthonyfrancesconi8682]

Amazing story of bravery.

[@roysessions1128]

This is the best one of all...pure emotion. So visceral. Incredible. Wish they were all like this and deep

[@c-459]

For those of Us who fought for it Life has a certain Flavor the Protected will never know...Welcome Home Brother

[@michaelgrimes1505]

I've been watching your interviews and they have really touched me. My dad was a Marine Mastersargent when he retired. We lived on Okinawa for the last 2 & a half years he was in from 1968 to 1971. I saw things related to Vietnam. A military brat like the door gunner you interviewed. I was younger than him. But he experienced things going into the military I would have experienced if the war would have lasted longer 2 or 3 more years. I have a lot of respect for him and what he went through and the others who have been interviewed. My heart goes out to all of them! I've thought about how it would have changed my life if I had gone in the service and more than likely the Marines. Semper Fi to all the Veterans of that war! We all need to support each other and pray that a war like that will never happen again! My love and respect to all that served during that time!

[@alexapperley9081]

Total Respect to Allan that was a hard interview i cant even imagine what was going through his mind in those moments of silence. Thankyou for your service to your country. Those protestors should be ashamed the way they treated their fellow countrymen on their return home its not like the Vets had a real choice with the Draft

[@Dillon-ux6it]

You can tell this guys seen an awful lot. I have tremendous respect and adoration for these vets. Our country treated them wrong when they returned broken from that war. More needs to be done to help Veterans adjust to civilian life and with job seeking assistance.

[@paulwells2417]

Fix us up with some blonds !

[@vrt1032]

Thank u for your service to our country Allan

[@natehess7663]

I very much enjoyed you sharing your life experiences over ther! Thank you so much for telling us all about it from the regular persons point of view. It's very different and real as compared to what one gets from a history channel film. These interviews r all very important to society to see and understand. THANK you for your Service I cannot say enough.

[@oldman9843]

To go from war to the " World " in 24 hrs would be a tough transition for anyone . I thank you for all you did .

[@carlcampbell6827]

The thing that comes across with all these Vietnam vets is the overwhelming, inexplicable caous in every aspect of war and what followed. I worked with many of these guys; I knew they were in trouble but had not a clue of the extent of it. I am an American that will never forget our veterans of foreign wars.

[@carlcampbell6827]

"Why did I survive" is something I have heard a lot of WWII vets say.

[@carlcampbell6827]

2- of my buddies in Northern CA city bost lost their younger brothers whose names were Joey Cagnacci and Ralph Williams.

[@neddeitrick192]

Alan you are an exceptional human being. Your story is so moving I can't put it in words. I lived the life of a military brat and I can relate to your story. I've watched dozens of these interviews and your was riveting. Thank you brother for your service to our country and to mankind.

[@mattgrover3096]

I have to say something....I don't cry for much. Maybe death of loved ones but not much other than that.... But hearing stories about men, sharing bonds, going through such incredible things. Such bravery. Such incredible bravery and honor.... Horrific experiences and pushing through.......I cry ......I cry like a lil girl.

[@R281]

The people who attacked these soldiers should be ashamed of themselves.

[@chuckoles6689]

Welcome Home.You are loved my brother...

[@centralbears3010]

BEST INTERVIEW!

[@AncientMysteriesAndInnovations]

I'm new to your channel, but I love it

[@jonness8927]

I was wondering if they worked with Special forces (SOG) when he mentioned the Lao/Cambodia border areas. But when he mentioned Ben Hut then I knew he was working with SOG which were some of the most dangerous missions of the Vietnam War! Ben Hut (Special Forces A camp) was a staging area just miles from the border within Vietnam and the border areas of Lao/Cambodia for these Top Secret missions across the borders against NVA regiments and NVA divisions!

[@davidcockrill7115]

Tigers. During Cambodian-Laos incursion, one of our helicopters went down into the jungle. It was triple canopy and even though we searched hard for the missing Huey slick, we could not find it. During the night, a tiger was stalking the 4 men crew. Only one pilot got away with his pistol.

[@mariekatherine5238]

The military should have a required reorientation period for all who served, especially in combat. It’s one thing to retain military discipline, military modes of thinking, speaking, acting. I grew up a Navy brat, one of nine, four of ours, five adopted cousins, except Jimmy only when he had leave. He joined the Navy at 17. But with eight kids crammed into base housing, moving constantly, going to different schools, different kinds of schools, etc. Mom was a WAVE and she met and married Dad in 1946. I found out in first grade that the furniture you slept on was called a bed. I grew up calling it a rack! In our house, you said, “Yes, Ma’am, (Sir) No, Ma’am, (Sir)”. You didn’t whine, question, sass back, not unless you wanted the belt or to do lots of PE and chores. (The belt was for pre-adolescence, getting smoked and given chores or loss of privileges was for puberty on up. Let me apologize for Jane Fonda and all the zombies who mindlessly followed her. It was disgraceful how you were treated. You never heard the term PTSD until the 1990’s.

[@jacobsladder6715]

As a kid watching the updates of the Vietnam War on a black & white 📺 I didn't understand it however I knew it wasn't where those men on tv should be.

[@b.bruster1462]

God bless you warrior.

[@kenkelble358]

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT A FLASH BACK looks like MOMS PRAYERS GOT HIM HOME!!!

[@loyddinneen2294]

This man is a perfect example of showing that a rear echelon in a aviation company can still have a heavy amount of PTSD even after a lot of years. It took 50 years for me too figure that out and I too was in a aviation company. I salute him for his survival and was able to pull out of it and get back on with his life.

[@jacquelinetatem175]

Doesn’t sound like he was in the rear echelon of anything. He was not a mechanic who never left the base.

[@victorglaviano]

war is not heroic, fun, adventurous or otherwise... remember this if you are young and curious

[@spencerlucas3065]

Awesome Story!

[@charlieporch3181]

So honest interview. 🤜🤜🤜🇱🇷🇱🇷

[@timothycollier5871]

When You return from a War Your Frame of Reference is different from those who have never experienced it. It takes time to make the adjustments. Allan accomplished it

[@barryhernandez6428]

A man's man 💪👍

[@johncrumb1749]

thanks for telling my story

[@GBodyJosh]

Get this man a glass of water

[@spencerlucas3065]

Good story man!

[@pulesjet]

When in school and ask by the young guy if you killed any one would have put me in BACK SEAT MODE.

[@slyflyby]

God bless you Allan Hartman. Thank you for your service and the courage it took to tell your story. You are a great man,husband,and father. May God continue to bless you and your family. Peace or your journey .

[@banditnip0345]

This guy's re-living his flight combat experience with alot of emotion. He's definately seen his share of Hell. My greatest respect for this honorable soldier.

[@markfromct2]

I am not a soldier. He is a five star General to me

[@IH986fan]

This is a great interview, with a remarkable person. Thank you so much for sharing.

[@mebeasensei]

Bit where he has gone from loading rockets as part of a team to sitting in a facility stateside all alone, with no place to go within 24 hrs or a matter of days, the bit that shocked me most.

[@motonegros]

What a heavy interview.

[@josephanderson7237]

A moving testimony of life experiences. I hope this was therapeutic for this soldier. Welcome home Sir.

[@victorglaviano]

sorry man, I am a Afghanistan veteran and we're all forgotten in the end. I just as soon live in the middle of nowhere and be left the fuck alone

[@melissak8419]

One of the most heartfelt interviews. He had tears coming out of my eyes telling his story, when his wife came along, letting his son be an adult and make his own decisions, how the vets were treated coming home. He served his country, followed orders, and as a Grand daughter of two USMC, and daughter of USMC Reservist, and daughter-in-law of Air Force Sr. MS Srgt, thank you for your service. Some enlisted to serve their country and others may have been drafted, but they served and followed their orders and deserve our respect.

[@shawni321]

Thanks to this veteran for showing his emotions, that took a lot of bravery to do. What a fascinating person, with a personal journey to share. The depth of his recollections show the soul searching that went on with him during that 5-year period on the road. Thanks to his wife, Elaine, for loving this man so he could come back, so he could receive a welcome home, no matter how long it took. And thanks to Billings Gazette for keeping these stories alive and honoring these veterans. I would like to hear some women's POV, the nurses in particular. Thanks again.

[@harleylawdude]

Elaine could just "be with" him. That's important. That wall in Washington is a powerful experience.

[@racer774]

Shawni Ysais - There are a couple of Vietnam female veteran interviews I've watched on KZbin. You may have run across them since your post above.

[@fernalicious]

Thank you Allan for having the guts to share your story, especially your struggles after the war. It makes it easier for others to do the same and hopefully access the resources they need to get better. Thanks again.

[@hawkrolla]

Interviewer does such a terrific job letting the man speak without interruption .

[@jerrymccommons6950]

The same order of questions copied by other interviewers.

[@beverlystaley9698]

Agreed. I have watched other journalists do similar interviews of veterans & I can barely stand to listen bc of the RUDE & constant interruptions.

[@PaintballVideosNet]

Thanks

[@paintdoctor5532]

Thank you for your service Mr. Hartman. And Thank you for sharing. You are appreciated more than you will ever know.

[@donaldjones7678]

I was a grunt in Vietnam 1971. Understand being scared to death before a mission. While things are happening you just react...no emotion. That comes later.

[@gene101101]

Thank you for your service Allan. Your one great truth was to gain the determination to not allow the Vietnam experience to influence your entire life. Major growth change, not easy, but that's what combat vets need to do for themselves. Thank you again for your splendid example.

[@CrashedSuperman]

Allan, Thanks for taking the time to record your experience. I’m an ex British Soldier who served in Iraq and can identify with the process of coming to terms with the events and the feelings of isolation on returning to a country that has no understanding of what you have been through. I’ve found many of these interviews really helpful in settling some of my issues.

[@soylentgreen2065]

Good luck and God bless you. From the U.S., I wish you health and happiness.

[@victorglaviano]

I hated myself for years, I felt like I was a murderer I lost my wife, my house and nearly my soul. it can be a bitch, but stay in the fight

[@katandpapa]

Thanks from an old American for your service as a British soldier in Iraq!🇺🇸🙏❤

[@Travelin2Wit]

Moving, description of a man successfully reclaiming his humanity . Thank you for sharing your experiences strength and hope with us.

[@markholbrook3949]

He opens his soul more than I ever could. Yet he says during one part of the interview that after Vietnam there's some things he's not going to get into? I can only imagine how dark those things were! WOW... Great interview.

[@kilo-mn5md]

excellent interview. Welcome home sir. Thank you for your service. In my opinion, I think vets from any era could benefit from watching this.

[@rmiller2179]

God bless you and your wife, she is an angel sent to look after one of His children.

[@rubycollins3492]

Id like to Thank him for his service Hes an absolute wonderful man it shows

[@skipmooney5732]

He’s a Likable Gentleman. He had a quick start in his life’s adventures. I’m glad he was able to make this tape, for Himself and Others.

[@mkaiser29]

Each one of these interviews should be force fed (shown)to all of the bankers and liars that profited from and pushed the war in Vietnam. All of the sleazy politicians.that got fat from backroom deals. I hope that they are all in Hell experiencing nonstop what these good patriotic Americans had to deal with. Much love and respect to all Vietnam Veterans. Welcome home and thank you for your service.

[@paulross4244]

Amen to that. So wrong and thats why we're constantly at war. May these bastards burn in hell

[@jacquelinetatem175]

These men were sacrificial lambs for the bad decisions of our political elite. They didn’t have the support of our country when they went to Vietnam nor when they returned. They were completely on their own, fighting a war nobody wanted. How could we have been so wrong and so many lives lost.

[@thomasjarvill5157]

Wow.. Great interview. Very powerful. Mr. Hartman's story was very moving. I am glad he got his life straightened out.

[@markholbrook3949]

Many men including myself at times in their life become broken and needing to be fixed.. This man is or hopefully was very broken. He appears well on his way to being fixed and ready to go!! God Bless

[@danthedewman1]

I think a lot of people didnt ask because they thought the vet didnt want to re -live it...

[@okayq]

This great man saw too much.

[@GeloDianela]

that pause during the 11th minute illustrates it all, the horrors of war

[@carlcampbell6827]

Jose Dianela - Watching a movie, thinking about being a door gunner is a very terrifying thing to comprehend.

[@niamhneevekinsella7951]

So touching listening to Alan speak about his Mother. God bless you, you came home safe thank god.

[@jamesodd3896]

I feel this interview was very beneficial for Allan and extremely enlightening for us viewers.

[@33cattt49]

It’s 2020 , America is in peril . My generation doesn’t deserve this country , Thank you for your service sir .

[@jimcameron2511]

yeah everyone was saying that in 68, too, and yet here we are.

[@33cattt49]

@@jimcameron2511 all the traitor boomers that ran from. Duty embraced hedonism and really betrayed their countrymen were the issue . Traitors in government as well too many to name . I remember as a kid all the leftist propaganda pounded into my generations heads that the hippies were somehow full of moral virtue , nothing could be further from the truth .

[@jimcameron2511]

@@33cattt49 Trump is in the middle of that. President Bone Spurs

[@33cattt49]

@@jimcameron2511 right right , like there’s.there’s no other blue blood that didn’t do the same thing like Biden ? Seriously are you a boomer ?

[@jimcameron2511]

@@33cattt49 Trump is not a blue blood.

[@Animusapertus]

I've watched what feels like hundreds of these Vietnam interviews. It is fascinating and i appreciate the people who put them together. I find that the war affected them all profoundly but some more than others and some seemingly not at all. I understand the ones with less combat roles, but even those like Roger Hayden, legendary Navy Seal, claims he had little to no PTSD or the like. I guess some people can "deal" with it and some seem to thrive in it, but some it leaves with permanent emotional and physical scars for the rest of their days. Thank you Allan and to all our service men and women.

[@monacorejuvenation4624]

in other episodes of this terrific series, the interviewer, at times, seems intent on moving forward and keeping the interviewee at a steady pace. Even at the expense of letting the his guest flesh out the emotion and and texture of an event that they were relating. Hats off to the interviewer in this (my favourite episode by far) for showing great patience in allowing Mr. Hartman to pause, and gather his thoughts and visualize in his mind his recollection of events. Very poignant and compelling interview. I was riveted. Thanks you to Billings Gazette and Mr. Hartman for sharing with us. Bravo

[@dollybellamy1290]

My favorite interview so far because I was a Huey Gunship Crew Chief too. His description of a gun run, the silence in the ship after a mission, all of it. Just good to hear Allan Hartman made it back and is doing well. Thanks for telling the story.

[@mikeloob8653]

Dolly. I can’t figure out what he did on a cobra. Was he in the weapons seat? He was only 18.. that’s nuts!

[@rmurry6169]

@@mikeloob8653 I'm pretty sure he wasn't on a Cobra but was on a Huey Gunship which had a crew of 4 whereas a Cobra has a crew of 2.