Viral Challenge Selfie

From Live Reaction to Viral Challenge. This video is kind of long and rambling because I’m trying to cover the last couple months. Thanks so much for your support and caring about me, and to those of you who have checked on me and talked to me even when I’m not uploading anything. I’m still here and holding on and feeling gradually more determined. If you’re reading this, it makes me happy that you’ve had the strength to hold on up to this point with me

[@ChristopherAlexander22]

Good to see you brother.

[@rupharangosa-ns1oy]

❤❤👍👍🤗🤗

[@user-vu5rn6rx7j]

I know how it feels not to care about myself, there is a lot of self hatred involved. But the way i try to reason with it is that since i'm still alive and keep existing on this earth, and im not in total agony, then i'm blessed. If i am blessed, then who am i to try and go against it, and keep putting myself down. There is a quote from one anime, called Gurren Lagann - "Don't believe in yourself, believe in me, who believes in you". Humans are not strong enough to live for themselves only, they need an external output, something that transcends reality. I don't like going preachy, especially in youtube comments, so im trying to convey the message using the neutral terminology. In regards to life not having any meaning, that is something millions if not billions people are struggling, but i think you might already know the answer to it. The way im dealing with it currently, is i try to read one page from a holy scripture, it keeps me spiritually sustained, and it being just one page makes sure i can deal with it. Also im trying to cast away things i dont truly care about, i think there is underlying greed involved, fear of "missing out" on potential stuff thats hidden in the dumpsters of endless entertainment, hence the 100 tabs open in the browser. But be certain, you will not miss out on anything there, and if you do, its mostly just an another dopamine injecting thing, be it pornography, involving real women or some other stuff. Sacrifices matter, by passing up one thing you have a chance of encountering something even better, and it really works. Try and limit your tabs open to 10, and work with it, i currently have 8 tabs open, and one of them remains being a tab with holy scriptures in it. To sum this all up, i think you need to go and focus on things that you actually care about, try picking up a foreign language, you will be suprised at how feasible it is to learn it, with so many tools and ways of approaching it, you will get to basic comprehension in no time, i think. There are many fields that you havent explored yet, and not all of them have something to do with esoteric morbid curiosity induced areas, but genuinely good things. People are all the same, and learning new languages will only cement that notion. Regardless of it, your continued walk forward is very much respected, ive been wanting to die from lesser things, and i couldnt imagine where i would be if i were you in your shoes I dont want to come off as someone who has his life sorted out, because i think that would be disingenuous, i am struggling too, but in another way, but im not sure if i want to disclose it on youtube, because i dont like big corporations

[@viralchallengeselfie7200]

Wow thank you so much for leaving such a thoughtful message! I've seen Gurren Lagann and I liked it, it was a long time ago though. I have struggled with addiction and seeking constant dopamine injections my whole life, whether it's drugs or social media or porn, I've been hooked on everything. I haven't even been off methadone a month yet, so I know it will take some time for my brain to heal from that. I also have gone off of caffeine after several relapses because I know that it's too much of an addiction for me. I've made some positive changes but it's easy to be too self aware that I'm still not where I want to be. I'm going to try learning some new things, I like the idea of trying a new language. I very much understand the feeling of wanting to die, there is a dark voice that is always trying to tell me that story. If you do want to talk more in depth in a more private way, I'd be happy to talk some more. Instagram wouldn't be private either, but I have an encrypted email address, "[e-mail]" if you wanna message me. Let me know on KZbin if you message me so that I'll know to check my email because I don't check it that much. I feel like you and I have similar perceptions of reality, I have been meaning to read scripture more but neglecting it. I believe in God and the spirit even though I've been such a hypocrite and not living like that at all. Even though my physical existence might be harder than yours, the hardest part of my life is the mental, psychological and spiritual war that everyone else is also experiencing. Let me know if you message me and thanks so much for being so real with me.

[@user-vu5rn6rx7j]

@@viralchallengeselfie7200 Sent you an e-mail

[@victoriaheuman8853]

Good to hear from you! You definitely need to learn some 101 discipline. If you say you are going to do something ...do it! keep your word to yourself especially if you share it with us LOL Honestly I love listening to your thoughts. but again I can see you lack keeping your own word /discipline for yourself. Why? maybe figure that out then you can take your power back. This life just maybe a test for something bigger. Saying that I better get my azz of the computer and in gear :) TTYL

[@viralchallengeselfie7200]

Hey, Victoria! I really have had an absolute lack of self-discipline for my entire adult life. I believe this life is a test as well and I've been living a pretty empty and selfish existence for too long. I have been gradually cleaning my house up, which is the bare minimum haha! Thanks so much for taking an interest in me and being real and talking to me, I appreciate it!

[@ChristopherAlexander22]

You should be very proud to get off methadone, most never do, it's very hard. Have you heard of the natural leaf from Indonesia called kratom? Works for pain and energy, but also can become habit forming and addictive, at least it's natural and can have no or low side effects. What's your email or was it instagram to direct message you?

[@viralchallengeselfie7200]

Hey Christopher, my instagram is @viralchallengeselfie. I do have some kratom that helps with the pain but I've read that it can suppress testosterone similar to opiates so I'm trying to take it as sparingly as possible. It really does help a lot, it's pretty incredible. Thanks for watching and the suggestion!

[@viralchallengeselfie7200]

I also have an email address, "[e-mail]" if you want to message me on there, but let me know here on KZbin if you do so I know to check that email

[@jojojeep1]

Cheer up son, you need a woman or a roommate

[@viralchallengeselfie7200]

Haha my cat is enough of a roommate for now, but I'm planning on moving back near my family this year so I'll be hanging out with my brothers again soon hopefully. Thanks for the comment!