Viral TikTok Video on “First Date Red Flag” EXPLAINED

[@ofkgjsl]

I once went on a date where the guy interviewed me interrogation type style. It didn‘t feel like he was interested, it felt like he was working through a catalogue of criteria he couldn‘t check or filter with dating apps and was super efficient with it 😂 It‘s like he mastered the date game. However I still felt judged on a very superficial level. People should calm down and get to know each other on a friendly base first.

[@viiiRA_]

I agree with you especially regarding your last remark, but I also think that, from what I glean, is how people are these days. The interrogation-esque questioning, I can understand it because no one wants to waste their time. However, we have to exercise compassion and consider, as Matthew addresses in the video as well, that perhaps your dude was nervous or awkward.

[@ofkgjsl]

@@viiiRA_ totally agree. we aren‘t products, yet it feels like that, because people suddenly have so many options and feel like they can be selective. dating apps destroyed the way we respect people as human beings. imagine swiping away someone just after looking at a picture of them. it‘s humiliating. yet I see a society where technology created this machine-like behaviour in real life. it‘s crazy. people think they can just filter out by „red flags“ and stuff and will magically find their soul mate. they forget, it takes work, self awareness and building relationships to create what they want to find

[@fazendoaminhafesta4332]

I really liked that you didn’t draw conclusions just because the person talked a lot about themselves. The worst narcissist I’ve ever met does the opposite. In the first meetings, he keeps asking questions about the woman's entire life, only to later use that information during love bombing and transform himself into the perfect prince.

[@ofkgjsl]

@@fazendoaminhafesta4332 exactly, they probe for information and after they found your weaknesses and read your ego, they lure you in and attack. once you‘re addicted, you‘re done

[@UlrichBeinert]

I love how you put some love in the "everything is a red flag" topics. I've had people talk only about themselves, others ask rapid-fire questions, and many times I noticed that, while it's often their general style of communication, the style is amplified by the nervosity of getting to know someone they like. Most certainly, I've done these things myself. Give people a break! And learn meta communication, talking about how we talk to each other. Finally, I'd also like to give some feedback on the videos. Matthew, I love your speaking style and the content is excellent, but the (audio) editing is making me crazy. Effects like the "crickets" for silence are fine, but all that whooshing and clicking is just super annoying. Especially when I just listen to the video audio, it's just pointless. And even when watching, there is no reason for a sound effect when switching to b-roll. It's just distracting. Please please please, let it be!

[@bg5215]

Pull out your phone and play "I Wanna Talk About Me" by Toby Keith

[@if7363]

I learned after manany many years there's no need to rush and force. No need for questions. Get to know person, so much way faster without questions that say nothing, but rather through observations.

[@mikeostrander5406]

He didn’t know how to ask you, if you pee, sitting down or standing up🫤

[@givenopinion]

In my case. It happened that i asked to the guy and he barely responded.

[@aleksandrac9335]

#freeAudrey

[@lightl287]

Thank you 🤗❤

[@callmezars_]

I would love to get your take or perspective on why you may be quiet while on dates with Audrey! My boyfriend is the most wonderful man, and is a man of few words at times, but when we’re on dates he does the same thing and I just can’t fathom having nothing to say! 😂Sometimes I take it personally while other times I can see that he just enjoys to relax in silence with me. Is this just a simple sign that he feels safe and relaxed enough to just no ask or say anything? Is it just different communication styles?

[@ofkgjsl]

@@callmezars_ yes, I am that type of person, who has a lot of social interaction professionally. so when I am feeling safe, I just want to have a break and enjoy my introvert recharge with the one I love. And the worst would be being with a person who doesnt understand that need