#vlog

What is work and why do we have paid and unpaid work? #caring #disability #mothering #mothers

[@balanceskateboarding8807]

Exactly right hun! This resonates with me so strongly! The tiredness I describe as the mental relentlessness, mental exhaustion, researching, admin tasks, advocate and lawyers defending our SEN kids, never ending decision making, planning, organising schedulies for multiple family members, diaries., knowing that the buck stops with you is pressure a heavy load to carry esp if single parenting SEN child/ren. Yeah nobody understands this but us. I've not had a normal day's life like those other mums get for 18 years! Those mums look down their noses at us but we're CEO of the most important people. We try give our best! Keep going! 😅😢😅😢

[@serenityrose637]

@@balanceskateboarding8807 💪💪💪💪🙌 celebrating your strength & also those moments of vulnerability where we say “I’ve had enough today!” Keep going, seen & heard ❤️

[@Andrew-vw5no]

Completely true... its a hidden world to those who see neighbours, for instance, who are at or around home and arent travelling to work every day. The irony is that so many parents actually see their time "at work", as an 'escape' from all what they see as the daily chores of looking after their own children.. and enjoy the social aspect of being at their workplace, and do their utmost to cut corners in their working day. None of these often perceived "benefits" of being at work - in addition to the obvious monetary benefits- are available to those who are full time or bear full time unpaid carers. You summed it up, the fact that those in paid employment think that those who are at home caring, ate the lucky ones... is an outrageous misrepresentation of the true picture. Of course, those who cannot go out to work due to their caring respinsibilities wouldnt have it any other way, its their child, but to be perceived in such a misguided way by others is hard to take.

[@12345bollocks]

The only way to get paid as a mother carer is to get PIP for our children. From an utterly exhausted single mum, who's mental health as been systematicly destroyed. Had a meeting with professionals last week where i drew the line because of my mental health. The EHCP which has been over a year in the making. The constant overwhelming communication because I'm ASD. The blame from the education system because of their failings. It's endless and it's torture. My ASD 16 yo would not be completely mute if the system had heard me when my 16 yo was in nursery.

[@serenityrose637]

@@12345bollocks I’m so sorry that this has been your experience. I know there are many of us who have been through similar; it’s entirely abusive when systems abdicate themselves of all responsibility and expect a mother to have all the responsibility and none of the power of choice. I hope that you can connect with other mothers who are going through similar issues?

[@Andrew-vw5no]

Completely true... its a hidden world to those who see neighbours, for instance, who are at or around home and arent travelling to work every day. The irony is that so many parents actually see their time "at work", as an 'escape' from all what they see as the daily chores of looking after their own children.. and enjoy the social aspect of being at their workplace, and do their utmost to cut corners in their working day. None of these often perceived "benefits" of being at work - in addition to the obvious monetary benefits- are available to those who are full time or bear full time unpaid carers. You summed it up, the fact that those in paid employment think that those who are at home caring, ate the lucky ones... is an outrageous misrepresentation of the true picture. Of course, those who cannot go out to work due to their caring respinsibilities wouldnt have it any other way, its their child, but to be perceived in such a misguided way by others is hard to take.

[@serenityrose637]

@@Andrew-vw5no 💯 we are pitted against one another by this fallacy & deception of what is work and what isn’t. I truly wish for a universal income for carers which isn’t simply carers allowance but a true economic reflection of what we do. To feel value in our work we also have to feel valued and seen for what we do.