Vlogmas 2020 | Day 7 | Let's Talk Dating

Throwing it back to the Tea Talk days. Grab a cup of comfort and let’s talk about dating. I hope you enjoy tagging along with me this holiday season! Thanks for watching ☺
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[@stephanieregaliza]

I'm a lesbian and I love your channel and listening to you talk about your sexuality and being so accepting of others made me tear up I guess because I never heard you talk about it before. You're really funny!

[@emeraldcitynow]

I think you should definitely FaceTime with guys right away. If they can’t, that’s a red flag. It’s important for you to FaceTime because you have some really strange “haters.” I wouldn’t want you to get catfished while online dating

[@WithWonder]

I agree - video is important to me if I’m using an app or service and not just people I know connecting me to people they know

[@janesmith6387]

How is Facetime going to show her if the person she's talking to is a "hater?" What does a hater look like?

[@annal9010]

@@janesmith6387 Hey Jane! I think what Emerie was saying was that a hater would set up a fake profile with fake photos and pretend to be this person. If Jen were to ask to FaceTime and the person couldn’t, then that could indicate they weren’t really who they said to be. However, if she got on FaceTime and saw that the person on the other end matched the person in the photos, then she’d know they’re real.

[@silentlyric]

@@janesmith6387 I feel like haters are mostly other women who feel badly about themselves or are jealous of content creators in some way. For one, it would show Jen that the person is in fact male and not someone who is creating profiles to catfish. That is the impression I got from this commenter and I would agree. I also agree with you in the sense that you can’t tell a personality based on looks, but it would stop the catfishing.

[@StephanieLuff]

This is great advice. I've had some guys who seemed normal at first but when I tried to FaceTime, they get really flakey. Super huge red flag. Either they're not who they say they are, they aren't single, they don't want to develop a relationship, etc. There's literally no good excuse to say you'll never want to video chat.

[@anshrewsbury]

I'm so happy to see you excited to get out there! I became single after losing my husband to cancer at 29. It was scary at first! The only advice I have is to hold your standards as high as you want. You decide how people treat you by what you tolerate. Set boundaries and stick to it. You and your littles deserve the whole world and don't settle for anything less. ❤

[@jenniviiv]

Omg, I'm so sorry for your loss. You must be one strong lady!

[@MissBudgetBeauty]

I need the real thing - I LOVE IT!! I love candid Jen 😝

[@Iris-gy2mi]

Omg I cracked up when she said that, I love her authenticity! 😂

[@CatherineShoresHMN]

@@Iris-gy2mi me too! 😆

[@StacysSoCalledLife]

Lol I died 😅

[@blisslightnlove]

18:10

[@mkennedy6405]

I loved that part too! 😂

[@lizholland823]

AGREED on recipe blogs! I feel like I spend 20 minutes reading through the life story of their grandfather before it even gets to the recipe. I am so thankful for the one that have the hyperlink at the top that says "Jump to Recipe".

[@mrssharp]

I shared a comment about why we do this. We aren't trying to annoy you, just trying to please the Google gods and make a living. 😊 It would be so much easier to just share the recipe but our blogs would fail if we did that.

[@lizholland823]

@@mrssharp Ah thank you. I will go read the comment. I appreciate you helping us understand

[@mrssharp]

@@lindsay3793 It takes many, many hours and a lot of money to give those recipes for free. If we aren't seen we don't make money. There may be some out there that can have a full-time job with no income from it but most of us can't do that. It's not to irritate you. A lot of us also make cookbooks that can be purchased so you can skip all the scrolling that way.

[@mrssharp]

@@lindsay3793 What would you suggest?

[@mrssharp]

@@lindsay3793 How do we get the recipes to you? How do we make an income? I'd love to make people even happier but I work more than full time hours and invest a lot of money into my site, not sure how I can be expected to that for free. I often ask my readers if there are things I can do to make my site better for them. I'm always open to hear suggestions.

[@hollies6792]

I truly believe that with allllll the personal inner work that you’ve done for all these years, you’ll attract exactly who you want & need into your life!

[@nicolehall8441]

"I need that thing and it has to be the real thing" This line was perfect! lmao. I have loved watching your channel over the years and you have really come into yourself more and more, especially this past year. I love the realness of your channel but this line made me choke on my drink.

[@SavannahHoskins]

🤣😂🥰

[@laceyhall1122]

I died laughing!

[@am74573]

@@laceyhall1122 me too!!

[@lavenderlovelifeuk]

She is perfect!

[@ssaah59ify]

We need a tshirt ;)

[@fortheloveofgrey6045]

I highly recommend doing a Christmas house swap with someone in England. 😉🥰

[@WithWonder]

I love that movie 😍

[@athomeimmum2247]

@@WithWonder oh oh! I'm here...but I don't have a brother. 🤔 Plus, how would we afternoon tea if I left at the same time as your arrived? Lol, sorry. I sound weird but I do think afternoon tea at Fortnum and Mason or somewhere else wonderful would be amazing with Jen! 😆

[@jillboyles1179]

@@athomeimmum2247 “”

[@kelleyhasapis1]

Love this! I can see you doing that!

[@lisaruttenberg5886]

Will Jude Law be there

[@callmekaty]

My experience (and my friends) is that chatting for too long before meeting someone often ends poorly. You might get too excited about each other via text/phone call. You might meet and find that you aren’t physically attracted to them (perhaps they don’t look like their photo or they don’t live up to your personal hygiene standards). It’s awkward to then reject them based on appearance only. I met my partner on Tinder! You can put that you don’t want hookups in your description :)

[@wwelss]

Absolute agreed! And sometimes it's just chemistry. I've texted people who i got along great and had great connection with through texts but then in person the vibe and chemistry was completely different and just not what I had thought it to be through texts.

[@calivibes_84]

@@MaryMary-xk8wl Lolol. You are so my type of person. I don’t online date but this is totally the way I would think 😭😭

[@AprilJoy44]

*starts vlog* Jen: “...brew a cup of tea and let’s sit down and talk* Me: *runs pell mell toward the kitchen toward my teapot* “Outta my way, we’re having a throwback Tea Time with Jen!”

[@AprilJoy44]

Elderberry Hibiscus tea for me!

[@conniehull3269]

I am a widow of four years. I have done the phone calls with a couple of men, but when I met them in person they were nothing like they seemed to be just on the phone or texting. I am very interested to see how your dating goes and will watch for tips from you and others. It is scary out there, since I am a very guarded person. Love your help in so many areas of our lives, Jen!

[@shellysmom7002]

Would you be opened to having another child if that was something a new partner wanted? I know you said you were done but, does your current situation change that?

[@FrappuccinoSnob]

“I need that thing, the real thing” lmao 😂 Girl me too! I seriously about died 😂😂😂

[@joangelica8024]

I was married at 18, divorced at 33. After 5 years of (useless) online dating I met my current love at the mall! I never thought I'd find someone but I did! Best advice? Don't date for the sake of dating. Work on being a better version of yourself and you will attract a better man. Join Meetup and go hiking in a group, learn to dance or do something new. Good luck Jen!

[@kayu7941]

OMG. I have never laughed so hard in my life. No one could have navigated this conversation better but it was still hysterical.

[@robyn_ann3688]

My parents got divorced when I graduated high school. My mom was 58. She has been the best example to me of being a strong, independent woman and not settling for anything less than she deserved. My mom read some book about online dating and created a profile. She had a few boyfriends, but she has now been with this man for around for 6 years. When he first asked my mom on a date, she told him that she’d pencil him in to her planner. On their first anniversary, he wrapped a pack of pencils and asked her to pencil him in for life. Seeing my mom happy and cared for is everything I want as her daughter. I wish you lots of love in your future. You deserve it ❤️

[@afrugallittlelife]

Lord knows I tried for almost 2 years but the apps just weren’t for me. I ended up meeting my honey at the gym we’d both been going to for years but had never spoken to each other. Someone had an unfortunate seizure one morning and somehow that got us talking. Now here we are today ♥️ If you try the apps, my one piece of advice is to guard your heart and take nothing serious.

[@kjhgyfdtyrdfuyhnhiuygtyrd]

As a divorced (and remarried) mama, my advice would be to set boundaries and let the other person know exactly what you’re looking for. You’ll meet lots of guys who are just there for a good time, they don’t want a relationship, etc. which is fine, that’s their journey. But let them go. Don’t entertain them.

[@mrssharp]

Blogger here, the reason we write so much before the recipe is because Google makes us. To rank on Google so you are able to find our posts we need to hit a word count that you won't hit with just the recipe. The other reason is income. Just like you make more if we don't skip ads and if you have ads in the middle of videos we make more if you scroll by more of our ads. I don't know many bloggers that like writing tons of content before the recipes but we must please the Google gods. We do try to make it as interesting and helpful as possible. Also the "jump to recipes" buttons can cause us to lose income so that's why you don't see them often. Hope this helps. :)

[@rebeccamadigan6735]

Thanks for sharing!

[@rebeccamadigan6735]

@Maike Corbett I will never complain about ads in general - totally understand they're needed for income. I just wish the ads wouldn't be so obnoxious! Not the content creator's fault, I'm complaining about Google ads or other ad platforms. They just load so slowly, my scroll bar is constantly jumping around as I try to find the recipe or even try to read the content! Especially when an ad takes up my entire mobile screen. There are plenty of blogs I refuse to go to anymore because it takes literally minutes to get to the recipe because too many ads are loading. Same with KZbinrs - too many mid-roll ads, and I'll stop watching

[@mrssharp]

@@rebeccamadigan6735 If it's a blog you like it's super helpful if you take a screenshot and let us know. I always work with my ad network to find that balance for user experience and income. It can be tough because we don't see the same things users do all of the time. Plus most of us view our sites on desktop almost all of the time so we may miss issues in mobile.

[@celinasvahins7502]

Please don't rule anything out :) My husband and I met playing a silly online game while being two wizards wandering through the woods killing giant rats with wooden swords :) :) After MANY long conversations and emails and after much prayer, we decided to check things out for real. After 5 months and after all the cards were out on the table we did the K1 Visa deal (we lived in different parts of the world). We've been married now for 18 years. Neither of us has ever felt so loved, honored, or respected. Not all "90 Day Fiance" situations suck, but they don't want to make TV shows out of the ones that work. :) :) Best of luck on your dating journey and please remember to have faith in the one above to guide you.

[@criszuba1968]

Evidently, you have to go to those towns found on the Hallmark channel movies. They have an abundance of wonderful single guys !

[@debbiemann1265]

I can so relate to today’s conversation. I was married for 29 years we had been together for 32 when divorced. It’s been 4 1/2 years and I have only dated/talked to one guy. It is a weird feeling to try and date after being with one person for so long. Good luck to you in your dating endeavors 😊

[@janetdeehall7442]

Jen, you are so cute, I love what you said about "the real thing". You are such an accepting person and I really admire that about you. I am a 57 year old Mom of a 26 year old daughter and I will tell you what I tell her, "Be careful"! There is nothing wrong with meeting on line especially in these times but do your homework and make sure that person is someone you can pull up on google and find information about. It is such a frightening world and with 2 little ones, you want to be extra cautious. I am so happy for you that you are ready to move on because you deserve it and you are truly adorable. Wishing you and the little kiddo's a Blessed Christmas. xo

[@kathleensauer3394]

Hi Jen ! I have a 36 yr old daughter who has been on all the apps.... the one thing she finally learned is to put on the app your “ must haves” or “ non negotiables“. The reason is because she’d be talking ( texting) guys or maybe advance to talking to them & all of a sudden she’d find out they didn’t like her religion or she didn’t like their politics. So ... she ended up just being straight up w the things that were really important to her right away... whatever that might be for you. My daughter found this way it’s a time saver. Best of Luck to you Jen ! You’re a super special person & some guy is gonna he very very lucky to date You!💗

[@rachael1063]

Jen, I’m almost 35. I am a registered nurse and in my twenties I traveled and served in the peace corps. Dating was not on my radar and then I was 33 and woah. I had no idea what to do after having an end to my serious relationship. My co workers convinced me to try hinge. I was very much as nervous and excited as you currently sound. I decided to make it fun and go on many first dates. Two years later I’m engaged to a man I met on hinge. Honestly I can hear myself two years ago saying no way. We talked for 4 weeks before meeting. Have fun, enjoy your life. You get a chance to have mini adventures in life and meet new people and chat. Good luck my friend! Have fun, go slow and at your own comfort level. Wishing you adventures and happiness!

[@MyFairyGardens]

Are there any running/hiking clubs in your area that you could join? That's a way to meet people. A photography club? Maybe volunteer a few hours a week at a museum or something that interests you. You'll meet someone when you least expect it. For now, cuddle up with some Hallmark Christmas movies.

[@CheySands]

truly think that’s why people asked - you have always been so loving and welcoming of the lgbtq community. ever since i first started watching a long time ago!! and conversations aren’t awkward if ur having them with friends 🥰 loving candid you and watching you blossom

[@CheySands]

so happy ur heart is healing

[@journeys_with_jen]

You are freaking hysterical. LOL. Loved this and loved your very real thoughts on things.

[@kristadrummond5928]

My best advice from years of being single, meet naturally in real life. Do what you love and then you will naturally meet someone that will already have one thing in common. Volunteer at st jude or kid friendly something?, church, take some classes etc. After so long I finally met my hubby when I went back to college for fun. Maybe a photography class? Gym? help plan charitable function even if it is online. Best of luck, someone awesome is waiting to meet you too! 💖

[@girl414]

Hi Jen. I was divorced at 38, 2 years ago. Also a single mom. I found bumble to be really interesting. I paid for the service instead of just the free features. One thing I loved was only sifting through the people that already opt’d into me. It’s a double opt in, so you can’t chat unless you opt in also. You also have to make the first move to chat. I felt like it was much more efficient and also was nice to see people that were already saying yes to me and filtering out from there. Enjoy dating!! It can be fun! ALSO, I go in with this mindset...even if it doesn’t work out, maybe it can be a new friend connection and they know other people too so you can always grow your network of single people that way!

[@WithWonder]

Thanks for sharing your experience!

[@carriea4149]

Just put your phone on a tripod ,make yourself look pretty, and take a gazillion pictures. You’re bound to get a few good ones!

[@darlenefoster3379]

is bazillion more than a gazillion?

[@AdairCty]

My advice when meeting someone new: Don’t share too much too soon! Anything that’s really important to you in a man or relationship (even such things as travel, hobbies, spirituality, drinker/nondrinker, etc.), rather than talking about it, I would watch to see what this new person says and does that reveals to you whether he fits with what you are looking for. I wouldn’t share anything that indicated your financial status or specifics of what happened in your marriage...not for a long time. I found out the hard way that men who are not what they seem to be and are desperately trying to “win you over” will morph themselves into your “dream man” when they really aren’t if they know too much about you from the start, so be somewhat vague in the beginning. Let them reveal who they are without being influenced by your preferences. Admittedly, most of us would like to be forthcoming from the first meeting, thinking that if we state who we are (likes, dislikes, what we are looking for in a relationship, etc.) right off the bat, that will save us and the other person some time. If we are not their cup of tea or vice versa after a date or two, both parties can say “nice to meet you” and move on. That does work with honest, emotionally healthy people. Unfortunately, there are some folks out there who are not. I would listen more and talk less when meeting new people if I had it to do over. Rather than worrying about whether they think I’m right for them, I’d be trying to ascertain if they are a good match for me! Stay away from those that seem to be irritated with someone all the time (coworkers, boss, family members., etc.); those who seem to be trying too hard to impress you; who push for closeness/exclusivity too soon, the “Mr. Comedians” who are constantly joking with you and everyone else trying to get laughs and attention (invariably they have low self esteem which causes all types of relationship problems). I believe there are nice, decent men out there who are looking for solid, healthy relationships. But there are some toxic narcissistic people out there too (read up on these if you haven’t already!) who are masquerading as emotionally healthy people, and it’s hard to tell the difference sometimes when you are really wanting to be in a relationship. You’re a lovely person who any man would want to meet! Good luck, enjoy the process...and be careful!

[@lavenderlovelifeuk]

Woman, what a fine sample of a female you are! Your honesty and elegance are up to the next level. Whatever you decide to do, just never stop being YOU. You are fantastic!!

[@stephaniebartel3329]

I’m 46 and have been single for 3 years now... I just can’t bring myself to date. Thank you for sharing your journey.

[@dawnturner7055]

I'm with you,!...I just want to raise my kids!

[@sharonm3283]

I had vanilla cappuccino tea from David's Tea today. Very good. I lost my husband 21 years ago. 5 years later found my significant other in a church singles group. We were together for 15 years. I lost him very suddenly last December. Good luck Jen. It can be done

[@lynnmarie9029]

As a "you tuber" that you are, it surprises me how hesitant you are to the online dating thing. I feel like it could be your jam! Your overthinking it. Be HONEST. State what you want in a man(/woman?), a marriage, a life, but be ready to say what your bringing to the table as well. Most importantly be real. Happy New Year!

[@blonde761]

I met my future husband when I was 15 and he was 17, we married 7 years later. Sadly he passed away suddenly when he was 50 and left me with our two teenagers to raise. I didn’t think about dating for a couple of years but when I did my kids were at the forefront of my mind. I was too afraid to do dating apps. I was fortunate in that the parents of a friend of mine knew someone they thought would be perfect for me, and they turned out to be right. I knew he was the right one immediately but needed my kids to be on board, fortunately they were. My advice is to keep your options open, don’t introduce anyone to your kids until you’re sure he’s the one, and take cues from them as well as your friends and family who know and love you. You seem like a kind hearted woman, best of luck finding someone to share your life with.

[@WithWonder]

Thanks for sharing your story ❤️

[@LivinLifeLikeLauren]

I am currently on Hinge, the dating app, and I feel like this is the only one I genuinely feel comfortable being on. I've never been in a relationship or been on a date, but I think its good just to start talking to others and putting yourself out there!

[@haleyspalding4016]

I agree. Hinge is the best app. I met my boyfriend on Hinge and I truly believe he is the love of my life!

[@thetlc9]

Why is hinge so great? Just asking because I’ve never used it.

[@LivinLifeLikeLauren]

@@thetlc9 I feel that the people who are on there are actually looking for a relationship and not just a hookup. I also feel like the men that I have matched with are all genuinely nice and have an interest in the other person.

[@ashleycooke3799]

Hey Jen, I am so excited for your new journey into the dating world! I am 39 years old and have had a handful of serious relationships over the years but I have never been married or have children (yet). I have navigated many online dating apps, on and off for the last 20 years. The main life lessons I have learned for my dating experience is to be true to yourself (meaning don't settle), have top 3 must haves/ deal breaker list in mind, follow your gut instinct (watch out for those red flags), only put in enough effort as the other person, and meet people outside your "typical dating type". Be aware that there will be disappointment, odd ducks and liars. But there are also wonderful people and experiences to happen as well. Be confident in who you are and always keep a positive mindset as you navigate this chapter to find your match. I had great success on the dating bumble app. I have currently been in a long term loving relationship now going on 3 years and we live together. I met my boyfriend on that bumble app. :) All the best on your journey, Ashley:)

[@somatteson]

I think the best ways to actually meet people these days (covid/pandemic aside) is to just dive in to things you love doing. Join local groups like Facebook hiking groups, boardgames groups, reading groups, SCA and other hobby type groups. Also hiking makes for a good social distanced way to get together.

[@ilovehellokitty01]

Jen, your personality has changed so much and I love it. Your previous relationship dulled your shine, please do not allow who ever you date next to do that to you.

[@megankremer6387]

I met my husband on eHarmony at 22yrs old before they had apps. I am now 33. I really like that they match you on the 22 dimensions of compatiblity. When I was on there you answer a series of questions. Then you are matched with people and have to go through several steps before you can talk on the phone and after that step I think is when you get to see what the person looks like. I may have the steps out of order but I do know that we had probably give steps before I went on any actual dates. I would highly recommend looking I to it.

[@BasicallyRach]

“I need...that thing...” LOL love the openness 😂 I’m drinking Vanilla Cappuccino from my David’s Tea advent calendar today and it is so tasty! It’s a fruity black tea with actual coffee beans and flavoring! Such a nice treat 😋 And I do think you were correct to simply steep that green tea because the matcha whisk is definitely for powder matcha! It was fun taking that tea journey with you though 😄

[@Armywifenene]

😂😂😂😂...I need that thing 🤣🤣🤣...yaaassss girl...nothing beats the real thing. Wishing you luck...I feel like the best is yet to come for you. Merry Christmas 🎄

[@Theblendofsuccess]

I have watched your channel since before you had your kids. And I have prayed for you many times. I have gone through a divorce as well. I started to re-date at the age of 26, within my church and then online. Through a dating site through my church. I talk to many creepy people on the phone after meeting them on the website. Then eventually started talking a man that I Met on the website dated and married. He lived in Reno Nevada and I lived in Arkansas. And we have been married for 14 years now. But in my experience I would recommend not talking on the phone for too long meeting in group dates be very cautious and safe!! And don’t get too comfortable too fast, Always be on your guard.

[@incitehope99]

@prettyneatliving Sencha are the leafy varietal. A Japanese lady taught me how to cook when I was 17 (my friend's mom in fact). Tfs Jenn. Glad to see you back in the swing of things. 💫😊💫 -Kelly

[@Blueberrytrumpet]

As a cisgender heterosexual woman who is in a heterosexual relationship, the “real thing” is great, but the “imitation” is also pretty great too 😜

[@moskitchenandhome]

😂😂

[@Zoe.TheBody360]

Its a temporary dopamine high...but i'd give yourself longer you've just moved and after so long in a relationship just enjoy YOU time for a while. I was very happily on my own for three years but I did eventually meet my hubby on a dating app but I think I was just lucky and had very strict quality control criteria - and I married for the first time at 53!

[@dianavaldez2841]

All I gotta say is that this conversation was freaking fantastic! 😂

[@shawnasmith3046]

Exciting that your dipping your toe in!!! Even if it dosnt pan out it’s still fun. And I agree very hard to meet people especially if your an introvert and during a pandemic! Good luck and have 🤩 fun.

[@joanncintron7751]

I was with my husband since I was 19. We had two children and separated 4 1/2 years ago. I was 45 when we separated and divorced. We were together for 25 years. I thought my life was over. I never imagined going on a dating site or anything like that. A year after my separation/divorce, I finally did join match.com. I chatted with a few different people and then I met the one. We have been together now for 3 1/2 years and I am having the time of my life. I have experienced so many new things and have done the most traveling in the last 3+ years than in my entire life. I just turned 50 yesterday and I’m HAPPY. Definitely go for it...it does work. It worked for me. Your forever is out there!!!

[@RAE546]

Jen when I was your age I met guys everywhere! Now that I’m 46 I have no idea where these men are. The older you get the harder.

[@susanjohnson2638]

My husband and I met online 16 years ago. He is the best husband ♥️ We met later in life so now I am struggling with Parkinson’s. I don’t know what I would do without his loving, caring ways! It took 4 years online for us to find each other. I had to “kiss a lot of frogs”.before he came along. It takes quite a bit of patience and fortitude to weed through the chaff in the apps! Good luck Jen

[@laurapodergois2802]

I think the formula of food blogs is designed to have enough length for multiple ads, provide analytical data that shows longer stays in the page before bouncing, and the opportunity for plenty of affiliate links.

[@mbplmommy]

I was 31 in 2004 when I winked at my now husband on match. Less than 200 days laters we were married our 16th wedding anniversary is in january. I can say their is a game that most men play you have to weed out people. there are certain questions to ask to weed them out.

[@moonfirepz]

What are they?

[@maddielaplante6789]

Hinge is a really great app and the people who use it tend to be interested in a more serious relationship. It is a swiping situation but it includes prompts that you answer and so when you’re swiping you see people’s answers along with their pictures and it helps you get to know them a tiny bit! Also as far as pictures, use the ones you love you in with your kids and just put an emoji over their faces! That’s a great way to let people know you have kids too without having to show them. Hinge also have a preference you can set so you only view people who are open to children, and other specifications too, it’s great!! I met my girlfriend on there :)

[@elizabethanne1632]

My good friend tried It’s Just Lunch and really loved it. Mainstream enough that there was a wide variety of folks but all the benefits of matchmaking (privacy, vetting, no online profile, etc.). She said it also was really a relief because honestly, who can’t sit through at least one lunch with another person? So going in with the expectation that you’re having this low key meet up (rather than dinner, drinks, etc.) really helped her be less stressed. Good luck! I’m excited to take this journey with you (however you feel comfortable bringing us along!)! 👍🏻

[@TaylorRaee1]

As someone in their late 20s, I use dating apps a lot. I wouldn't recommend using Tinder, Hinge is good (this app allows you to add more content about yourself), Bumble is good, it allows girls to message first. The most important things I would say about a profile is; great clear photos (this tells a lot about a person - selfies aren't always better) and having some sort of a bio that tells you a bit about yourself but not too much (hinge is great for this). Overall, just have fun with it and don't take it too seriously, make sure to converse a lot before meeting someone and always let someone know if you are going on a date. There are a lot of duds out there on dating apps but sometimes you find good ones! Best of luck in your search!

[@WithWonder]

Thanks for the tips!

[@alexandrademartini7496]

I’m 36 and am in almost the exact same situation, on literally the same timeline, feeling very similar feelings. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@sierramichelle3293]

Hi Jen, I have watched you for years and never made a comment. I met my husband on Ok Cupid after graduating college. We are celebrating our 5th anniversary this winter. I have friends who have met their significant others on similar sites, to include Coffee Meets Bagel and Plenty of Fish as well. I was like you and wanted to talk awhile online before meeting and it worked out! I also wasn’t crazy about “selling” myself with my photo or bio and was able to find out who I connected to through messaging. I send best wishes to you and Happy Holidays!

[@jbnclc85]

I feel like these past few months you are a "new" Jen. And I love it. I feel like in your past videos back in the years your more shy and nervous to say anything or do anything out of the ordinary. For instance the vlog where you had your hood on after your work out. I can't remember what you said but you were being dorky. I loved that. I hope to see more of that aditude were your not afraid to show who you really are. You go girl.

[@iri2be]

I think that was genmaicha: "Genmaicha is a blend of Bancha with well-roasted brown rice, called Genmai. The rice adds a nutty taste and roasted aroma. It is popular in Japan as an everyday tea." I've had it before, and you were right to steep it!

[@MzSassyPants]

This seems to be a hot topic at the moment. I have an old coworker who is single (he looks up to me as a mother figure, he’s in his 20’s) and is having the hardest time connecting. He’s not willing to waiver from his moral, or religious background (good for him), but he’s lonely and is struggling just to meet people. My suggestion to him was to join group of interest, such as book clubs, volunteer at the animal shelter, soup kitchen etc. I know the pandemic has hindered a lot of social connection physically, but it has opened a lot of virtual doors. Be mindful of what you enjoy, join in social activity (whether its online in capacity or even as socially distanced volunteer situation. With the Covid Vaccines I’m sure the world will go on in a more social aspect soon. However you have to be open to actually being social and interacting with strangers.

[@wantsonly]

I met my husband on Tinder. While I don't recommend it for everybody and I totally see why you wouldn't look there, please don't fully rule it out! Neither of us have been married before this. We were both employed full time when we met (still are) and both mutually/genuinely wanted someone to date long term term exclusively, hopefully for a lifetime if that was possible. Much like you I do not do flings/ hookups/ one night stands so I knew the dating world was not going to be easy but I am so glad I looked there. Good luck to you and thank you for your videos! I look forward to them! Xoxo

[@shannonlocklear]

My husband and I met on eharmony. We both really loved how the site worked (of course this was 13 years ago! I don't know how it may have changed since then.). I think you might like it!

[@CindyGuentertBaldo]

I met Jesse playing World of Warcraft, so I don't have a ton of great advice. But I'll tell you, once we had been together long enough for him to have hung out with the kids one of the key decisions to us moving in together was how well they got along. K and RJ were 5 and 3 when Russell and I split, and 6 and 4 when Jess and I moved in together. (And then Kat decided they hated him once we moved in together - K took their anger on dad and I not being together out on Jesse - and I made the decision to not interfere and let the two of them build their own relationship... and now, 11 years later, Kat and Jesse are thick as thieves)

[@WithWonder]

Thank you for sharing your story Cindy ❤️

[@renee95581]

Thinking back on my single mom life...I will advise you to not bring your kids into the mix until you feel pretty sure you can really see yourself with the guy. Kids get so attached so easily, if you end the relationship it confuses the child. FWIW from someone who has BTDT! Happily married for 28 years post-divorce. Love is everywhere, just do you and be open. You do look beautiful!

[@rosiegrl24]

I met my husband through Christian Mingle. We talked over the website for 2 weeks before swapping phone numbers and setting up our first date. That two weeks of chatting first really helped me weed out other men who were interested but not the right person. I went on a first date with my (now) husband and one other man from the site. The "other man" first date was a dud and it fizzled quickly after. My husband and I decided that things clicked well for both of us after the first date and it's kind of history from there. We hit a lot of the deal breakers and nonnegotiable topics very early on. We agreed that neither of us wanted to play games and were looking for a long-term relationship. Good luck!!

[@rosiegrl24]

Also, make sure you comb through their profiles for red flags. It helps you weed out the not right ones early as well. I definitely liked the "matchmaking" services because they are more selective and people who are looking to casually date may not be willing to shell out the money for a service like that.

[@adnaloylopezvaldes4951]

I’m loving how honest you have become more and more with time. I too have 2 kids and divorce is hard but you will find your way. Currently I’m in a relationship for the past 2 years but i have known him since I was 5 years old. And no we never in the past had any type of relationship except for friendship, it was awkward at the beginning but with time you will see what works for you. I too didn’t want the dating apps!

[@livelovehope28]

My husband and I met on match.com 10 years ago. We have been married for 7. I liked it, because I could narrow my choices down. The chances weren't as "blind" if you will. I'm so happy for you!

[@PlanningwithCrystal]

I love watching you Jen, I find listening to you talk so relaxing and refreshing! I'm going through a few tea advent calendars (T2 & Pg Tips and Adagio tea - I'm the UK) and unbox lots of calendars on my youtube channel.

[@cuteheather]

Have you considered joining different interest groups, like on Facebook, where it just starts as chit chat about topics and see if something flows naturally? Or maybe see if there are singles groups that would do events, not in a pandemic. I wonder if they’d still do virtual events.

[@cassiapple3970]

“Never say never, but that would be a surprise to us all.” Lol love you Jen! 😂

[@lisanewman3543]

Your hesitancy over using the dating apps is valid. I was almost 50 y/o when I started using them so not quite your situation. However, I will say that I experienced several people with fake accounts (catfishing) that contacted me. It was not for me. I do have a few friends who are now married to men they met online, so they do work. A little ways down the road, I decided I need to forget about finding the right person and instead become the right person. I'm allowing God to change my heart and mind and hope that one day I get the chance to love again. Many blessings to you during this process!

[@erin021378]

I love that you shared so openly! I have tried online dating- could have worked but it scares me. I think the world is scary without knowing someone first. I’m single, 42 and ok with my life as it is. I think you are as well- but of course a significant other would be nice! Good luck to you!

[@busybeingjen]

I haven't been in the dating arena in years, but your comment about meeting people in bars (or not) made me think of some advice I got years ago. "If you want to meet someone who likes to do the kinds of things you like to do... then do the kinds of things you like to do." You're more likely to meet someone who is a fit. Of course, the pandemic does complicate the issue, but just thought I would encourage you to "stay the course." He's out there. :)

[@amandamedlin9052]

Hi Jen! My husband and I met on Coffee Meets Bagel. I call it a very slowed down version of Tinder. You only get one match per day, so it forces you to really consider a person instead of just a photo. Also, it’s a ladies choice app - or at least it was 3 years ago, I’m not sure if anything has changed. I feared rejection in dating, but with this app I only saw profiles of guys who had liked MY profile first. Might not be everyone’s cup of tea (lol), but it was great for me. I know two other married couples who met on CMB!

[@kelishacorridon1859]

I am doing the Davidstea advent calendar. So far it’s great! Really enjoying the teas a lot of repeats and a few new blends. Next year I would love to purchase the advent calendar you are doing.

[@molly4495]

It's my understanding that blogs have to be set up that way in order to make money from ads. It's super annoying but I respect that it's how they make money.

[@nancynurse4552]

You made your support of the LGBTQ community very apparent several years ago when your loved ones married just after the Supreme Court legalized gay marriage. As a mother of those across the community, I greatly appreciate your loving support.

[@siamsa69]

I’ve been on Tinder off and on and yes a lot of guys want to hook up, so when you start messaging you have to know up front what they are looking for. If they want to hook up or doesn’t want the same relationship as you, just unmatch them immediately and move on. Otherwise they may continue to message you. Now you can video chat on there too. Do what you’re comfortable with and what feels good for you.

[@sparktree1]

Does the Steepologie advent calendar contain any stevia? I couldn’t find their ingredients list online. I want to get the calendar, but don’t really like the taste of stevia.

[@Jennifernva]

How do you plan to keep your dating life private now that you are a online content creator? Also I would definitely recommend using referrals instead of online apps. Finally, are you looking at your potential mate as a father figure? Because he will need to love your children as well.

[@kelishacorridon1859]

I love you Jen. I did the online dating and just as you said for me I took it so slow. Text for a while then phone calls and then video calls and then a date. Online dating didn’t work out for me in my country I just stop looking and my current bf found me through a friend of mine. I am currently in a LDR. My bf lives in Ghana we have been together for 2 years. When it comes to your profile be honest and don’t be afraid to be honest in what your putting out there. No pictures of your kids just pictures of you.

[@angelkaye82]

I have been with you from the beginning. So happy to see you blushing. Everyone deserves butterflies. Cant wait until you share this new dating journey. You are truly an inspiration. Sending you positive vibes.

[@abbeymorse8752]

I dated as a single mom for a little over a year before I met my now husband. To be honest, apps were fun, but I never met anyone serious there. I never really hit it off with anyone, but it was fun to get back into dating! I’d say make a profile with no expectations....just to get your toes wet! Best of luck!! You will find someone amazing and worthy of you and your little ones! Xo

[@missalynn483]

Steepologie has been doing daily reveals of the advent and said the matcha tool was actually for a later date. It *is* confusing to include it with genmaicha, but you were right to steep it.

[@janiceestes9518]

Jen please take your time. I would not go on line or any dating service. You may feel you are ready but you will meet your love when you are least expected. It could be at a function, church or even at a grocery store. Maybe join a YMCA and take care or yourself first. I have been married for 45 years with my one and only husband. We met at a dance club many years ago. He was on college brake and I was a nursing student. I actually asked him to dance first. After that he chased me for many weeks before we went out on our first date. Don't rush, take your time and true love awaits for you.

[@prernashraff8937]

Jennifer, your videos make me sop happy. Just a human being going through their life is refreshing to watch. Plus I also love the morning uploads so that I can watch in peace. I am looking forward to you making treats and wrapping presents vlog. Thank you!

[@gracens1380]

I met my now husband on Match 7 yrs. ago ( I was 30). Make sure all your photos have good lighting and only include you! I was cautious, as well.I had just moved and even said on my profile that I was also open to finding new friends (it sort of helped me not expect the moon). We chatted for a couple weeks before meeting, and then met for a quick drink, which turned into a 2 hour date, a great second date (we made grilled cheese! ), marriage a couple years later, 2 kids and a dog 😄

[@giselleotto930]

I love exactly who you are, and I respect and value any changes you make to how much or little you share. However I’ve been laughing my buns off for this video. I’m here for you, we can look at the profile together. You can always stop, wait, go, etc. I’ll be around for all of it. Thanks for being you.

[@Leannnnn]

I’m 37, and met my boyfriend on Tinder after several years of bad luck with dating apps. I get the hesitation, but if you go in without expectations, just to dip your toes in the water, it could be helpful to get an idea of what you’re really looking for and willing to put up with 😂 A paid site like Match might be more what you’re looking for. If people are paying, they’re more serious than people on a free app swiping when they’re bored. Also, Match asks a lot more questions so you can get a better idea of someone’s personality/beliefs. Hope that helps some. Good luck! I’ve been loving the daily videos!

[@WimberlyAnn]

Join a country club or lodge. There is activity for the kids and you can meet and chat. Bonus you see if the children (if said he has any) time go see if they are compatible

[@offtomilan]

Wow what a great idea! I love that

[@Pompinflompis]

Yeah this one sound great. I was also thinking co-working spaces, for when she can go and be without the kids

[@tanauck]

I really enjoyed this chat. Your honesty and openness is quite refreshing. I've been single now for many, many years and just now feeling like finding something serious. My TOP priority was my children and I've had fun dating. It's definitely very different from when we were "young".

[@ArtSmartSvcs101]

LOL! 🤣🤣🤣 I have been watching you for years now, since the days of your car organizing videos, and this is hands down your most “real” video ever. OMG--I just need that “thing”! Hilarious! I’m in the same boat starting over again, after 16 years, and I have no idea how to navigate dating, apps or any of it. It would be grate if you did a series on what to do, because I’m really at a loss with this one.

[@beautyequalshate]

I love how much you're becoming more and more comfortable just being candid. It's refreshing. I've been watching you I think for 8 years (maybe more), I can't remember. But I have seen the evolution of Jen, and it's a beautiful thing! Wishing you luck!

[@AlongOurLife]

I would add habits to my criteria as well, they are usually ignored but could get so annoying when you live with someone who your habits contradict. Small things like pulling the curtains off or leaving windows closed when you like them open,...

[@BaeBeeReal]

I met my man on the app Zoosk 10 months ago. My bestie met hers on zoosk 4 months ago. Good luck Jen! You are more than worthy!

[@elisapetras8136]

I met my husband on match.com. I had two little girls and was hesitant to bring any men around my children. He had three little boys that he was raising. I think I was 38 at the time he and I started talking. We’ve since been married several years and are very happy together. When we met each other actually from our first conversation we just knew instantly that we clicked. I think women have much more options than men on the dating sites. I had gone on many dates before meeting my husband. It was great getting to meet a variety of men that I normally wouldn’t have had the chance to meet. It helped me to figure out what I was looking for by going on those dates

[@Hollyfae]

Love this. I've done a lot of online dating. It can be overwhelming as a woman - you will be bombarded. I would be very careful about doing too much texting/messaging. It's easy to build someone up into something that they aren't that way (and, believe me, I would prefer to go slowly) - it's important to feel someone's energy through a call or video chat. I think Bumble might be a good fit. Good luck ❤