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Vent-ish video
Follow up for the last video "Fighter"
Here this is the affect of SA and how it can make a survivor think. The idea that something like this could happen at a very young age is alone hard to believe when you don't know much about it. You start to overthink it and in most cases you'd start to convince yourself it was you who wanted it. Gaslighting and ignoring you're feelings. You'd start to hate yourself, hate everything around, act in different ways and respond to certain stuff differently. You don't mean to be rude or upset all the time, or even cold. You're just hurting deep inside and you're not telling anyone. The worst feeling is having to keep stuff like this to yourself. You feel as if you're not heard, you can't talk about it and you don't even know if you're a victim or not sometimes. The self blame. Self blame can do wonders to people. Lose so many things about yourself. Confidence, Loyalty towards yourself, Happiness. Instead they'd get replaced by Anxiety, sadness, the feeling of worthlessness. It's all just awful.
I am speaking for myself. Speaking what I'm feeling and how I'm thinking. But not everyone thinks the same, keep that in mind.