Watch out for these types of “friends”-RED FLAGS TO LOOK OUT FOR IN FRIENDSHIPSlLUCY BENSON

Watch out for these types of “friends”-RED FLAGS TO LOOK OUT FOR IN FRIENDSHIPSlLUCY BENSON
Hey Loves, Todays video is on Red flags in adult friendships, i shared over 10 signs of a toxic or fake friendship you should look out for while you go through your adult relationships/friendships. i hope you enjoy the video 💕
How to easily make & maintain*HIGH VALUE ADULT FEMALE FRIENDS*Tips for healthy friendship|LUCYBENSON
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[@sweet7precious]

Number 2 is on point. I definitely have to speak more positively about myself. It comes from beating ppl to the punchline. Easier to say it 1st. It takes the power away from them

[@godiswealth4555]

I agree. I try to stick to positive affirmations every day.

[@tooprada606]

You are beautiful and anyone trying to “beat you to the punchline” is no friend! Whenever someone has something negative to say about me, my go to line is “you’re projecting” because I PROMISE you 99.999% of the time, the criticism people throw at you embody the qualities they dislike about themselves

[@sweet7precious]

@@tooprada606 Thank you. I'll have to try this.

[@cosmicbrownie333]

#2 hits home and you articulated this beautifully. I don't want to be around anyone with low self esteem. Many times gossip, jealousy, hatred, sabotage comes with it due to feelings of inadequacy. No thanks!

[@SophieEzele]

I learn oo

[@simply.ariannaa]

I was “friends” with someone who I felt just never wanted to see me do good. When my life was good she was a ghost but as long as I was struggling & going through it, she was right there the whole time lol

[@bee-qc3cd]

So many fake friends like this

[@leigh4326]

Yes!! This is so true.

[@thehoodspiritguide818]

Spot on.... And don't forget the fake apologizer. The friend that will quickly give a vague and false apology to gloss over the seedy details of their behaviour and avoid true accountability. An apology can definitely be used as a manipulation tactic especially when you sense irritation from them when this is going on...

[@leanaam.5385]

THIS!!!! I experienced it and I was in shock. How can one in a breath say sorry and the next minute, send a 10 paragraph message saying that you are a bad person etc and block you.

[@maddyG7414]

Ooof yep! I think we need to remember that an apology in itself isn’t necessarily a sign of accountability. People can say ‘sorry’ and then hit you with three paragraphs about why what they did was justified. I’d even argue that people who profusely apologize while also adding in a ton of reasons behind why they acted that way, or people who turn it around on you for bringing it up are just as bad as those who never say sorry. I’ve experienced both, and tbh I’d rather have the second one. Fake apologies that conceal thinly veiled anger and self righteousness are manipulative.

[@maddyG7414]

@@leanaam.5385 just another tactic to gain the upper hand.

[@leanaam.5385]

@@maddyG7414I have experienced that too!! I just ran away from it all and remove myself from theses relationships

[@IvorianAya]

Omg girl yesss, I had this friend where I was ALWAYS anxious to open her texts and answer her calls… she later cuts me off bc I had reached my peak and could no longer be there for her. Can’t tell you the breath of fresh air I felt since. I can’t keep pouring from an empty glass.

[@Tricey.89]

I has a friend that took over the conversation so much, that I used to sit the phone down and walk off and return to the phone and they’re still talking and didn’t realize I was gone. I rolled my eyes every time that person called bc they were full of nonsense.

[@leanaam.5385]

I had a similar experience and I am grateful that she cut me off. I am very grateful to all of the people that decided to remove me from their lives. It forced me to do a lot of self reflection and work. I was the issue because I was a people pleaser, I was too nice. I didn’t have the courage to say no, I allowed people to use and abuse me emotionally. They used my insecurities against me, I was an over-sharer. My friendships today are more healthy, mature, intentional and positive than what I experienced in my 20s. I thank God for the blessing 🎉❤

[@JulietAmaka10]

Followed by gossips 🚩💔

[@leigh4326]

@@leanaam.5385this is me right now. Had a neighbor since I’m new to the country who had such dark energy befriend me and she just came to me so aggressively saying I have attitude because she’s obviously white and to her I am the “stereotypical” Black woman although I was people pleasing. I was just drained by her constant bashing but I am grateful she cut me off. She used me for convenience to score points of being friends with a person of color to join BIPOC events and thought I couldn’t see it. It served its purpose but it’s taught me to trust my gut instinct and stop seeing the good in people all the time.

[@arianawiggins4788]

So spot on! Another one is the friend that always gasses you, as if they're a "fan" rather than a friend. Leech energy!

[@vanessacoutu9591]

Wtf you’re friend are being supportive and u calling them a fan ?

[@arianawiggins4788]

@@vanessacoutu9591 Look up "love bombing," it's not the same as support.

[@kiaj.d.5855]

Number 9 is the issue for my “friend.” She claimed she was so excited for a big trip I just had. She ignored me the whole time! In fact, she has not even responded to my messages from last week! Said she couldn’t wait to hear about it and didn’t respond! Tuh!

[@Tricey.89]

I hear you. People who can’t take big trips (finances, job not flexible, kids etc) may change towards you bc you can freely do something that they can only dream of… By the way, where did you go? ❤

[@kiaj.d.5855]

@@Tricey.89 I went to Paris and Abidjan, Ivory Coast. Oh and by the way, she texted the other day and said “sorry girlie, it’s been a time.” 🧐

[@ameliab.7056]

Omg I literally had this situation last week and I thought I was overthinking until I invited her over and she talked nonstop about her ex boyfriend and new toxic boyfriend and didn’t ask me once about my solo trip eventhough a lot of other people did .. I hope you enjoyed your vacation, the destinations sound lovely. No wonder she didn’t wanna talk about it 😂

[@kiaj.d.5855]

@@ameliab.7056 it really was a great time. I actually just looked at the pictures again this morning! That friendship is over completely. So much has come out since then. She projects her insecurities onto me. I refuse to accept her mistreatment. I wish her the best.

[@ehizz]

Guys let’s also use this video to check ourselves and make sure we aren’t the red flag because it’s easy to point out other people’s imperfections but we most also recognise our imperfections

[@roselormeus9477]

I completely agree 😊

[@Missnjabz]

Can you do a video like this regarding family, some family members do not know boundaries and sometimes it becomes hard to enforce boundaries with family members because there’s that dilemma and it’s not that easy to cut them off because you actually need them 😅

[@Temple001]

Lots of love Lucy. Thanks for these tips. You're looking pretty 😍.

[@DeniseWelsh-m5p]

You are truly a blessing for having such a good-hearted warm spirit.

[@goldempire023]

Thank you so much Lucy, I had to save this video, I'll have to listen to it more than once, I want this points flowing in my body. Please do more videos like this even if it's up to part 10, I'll watch them all. I don't want someone to come and scatter the little work I've done on myself mentally and physically because you're my friend Thank you once again Lucy❤

[@miracleo2461]

Phew, you really came through with this video. I have been going through it recently and second guessing myself. This video came on time ❤❤❤

[@elegantmsbella]

😅 I just realized I’ve the red flag of being unapologetic . Will work on that

[@JMG4747_]

So many helpful tips thank you. Also your hair looks so good and love the camera quality

[@dafrastar]

When one of your friendships doesn't even go past point 1 😂😂😂 like damn

[@letsglowuptogether7778]

You on point with everything especially talking about witches and wizards .

[@Xo_eve_]

I started watching your videos last year and I must say ...I have learnt alot and grown a lot thank you ❤❤

[@rhemamensah6582]

Loved this Ms Lucy . God bless you . Blood covenants must be broken 😂😂

[@gracewalter8737]

Always making a point 💯💯

[@MyLucyBenson]

Thank you 🤎

[@Luvwithwrites]

Literally!!! So true, they literally yap so much that I feel so sick in my stomach and I always!!!! Feel uncomfortable around those types of ppl, like my body knows it’s not good and the gut instinct is good to listen to when around them. Also they also talk to much about other ppl ugh! So annoying. Another thing you can see from their eyes when looking at you, how creepy they are 😮😳

[@SableDevon]

I know she said your friends but this goes with family as well they are the biggest drainers of all cause you feel you have no choice but to sit in it. But let’s normalize good vibes for all sides.❤

[@Testimonies7]

much love sis, your really my elder sis coz I'm learning a lot from you🥰 , appreciate.

[@maimoonaakinpelu2607]

This is So true.much love Lucy

[@Jenleahhh]

I just made a video about cutting out friends and making new ones and now this pops up on my feed. Validated haha

[@heidic0355]

Amazing video thank you for helping others sharing your advice and wisdom. Your video quality is very impressive what camera do you use? 💗

[@meriya5961]

Lucy i love you more for this!!!!!"monitoring spirits" lol

[@esethu.]

"It's right in my neighborhoodddd" 😂❤

[@Angell_Lee]

Thank you so much, this can save lives. xo

[@NomhlePrecious]

Thank you so much

[@Iam_Dolce]

Everything you said is on point

[@valentine_b_ndlovu]

All truth 👌🏼we can drop the 🎤

[@diyboraayele5618]

Lucy i am from ethiopia I love u

[@angelafrancis6688]

Thank you oooo Thank you!!!

[@humaneenough6719]

Haaaa LU 🙌🏾

[@jemimahakange]

I was the 1kth like🤭

[@valeriebrown7235]

❤

[@goddessnoir290]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@vanessasafia2044]

I wish I watched this earlier in life

[@JulietAmaka10]

I needed this 🫂

[@fethebombshell]

Can you talk about friends owing each other money ? Whats your opinion on that?

[@whenbordemhits4669]

1. Friends/People who never apologise 2. Low self-esteem/People who speak poorly of themselves 3. Friends who take pleasure in talking negatively about others 4. Friends who make you feel anxious and drain you 5. Friends who don't respect your boundaries 6. Friends who guilt trip you 7. 'One size fits all' type friendship 8. Unreliable friend/ One-sided friendships 9. Friends who find it difficult to accept your accomplishments/ others 10. One upper friend 11. Friends who find joy in joking on you 12. Possessive friend 13. Friends you find yourself always making excuses for

[@Doyin.]

God bless you ❤

[@melindakelly3969]

❤

[@soul_dating_]

Must add: when you're being vulnerable and sharing things about yourself,yet they never share. Just soaking up your business.

[@tipswitht]

I'm going through this right now and saw this video and your comment. It confirms what I've been feeling too and I'm no longer doing that with certain people! Thanks xx

[@jazmeen04]

I do not divulge too much of my personal business. If someone think they must know my personal business just because they tell me theirs. They need to find a different friend.

[@jaichozen]

Step number 1. Check myself so I’m not the toxic friend. New subbie ❤

[@sadecoco1502]

(Number 3) is the exact reason why I don’t entertain people. I am always at home, I stay away from people because I just get bad energy.

[@gabbie921]

Wow!! Only three minutes in and already blown away by the wisdom being shared. Thank you Lucy! May we all seek out and be those high quality friends 😍🥰

[@ravellemoore]

It's the 4th red flag for meee...that anxious or overwhelming feeling when you get a call or see a text from them...their energy is drainingggggg

[@bee-qc3cd]

💯

[@tiyya91]

How do we cut friends off in a healthy way ..all I know how to do is ghost and block 😂 i need more tools LOL

[@Sweettea30]

Thanks so much Lucy. I just got out of a toxic friendship of four years and I wish I saw the bs a lot sooner!

[@Luchisam]

So on points...... My bestie in imagination 💯💯☺️..... One of friends that can't stand your favor or success.....I have so seen. At first, I didn't realize it, but when it kept repeating itself and it started affecting my esteem, I told myself to cut off every darkness trying to dim my light......lucy is light ☺️☺️...and light I must be☺️

[@bambib4801]

Miss Lucy Benson you have served us today!!! When I tell you all pounts were spot on! ❤💯 Stay blessed Queens

[@afrikanconfidential8661]

Sis, all the points you’ve said in this entire video are a COVERT NARCISSIST TRAITS. Word for Word 💯

[@veescorner842]

people who choose their friendships based on how much you have

[@TomiTomato]

That witchcraft point where you said they need to go to church and they need every finger to press their head plssss😂😂😂😂😂 it's THAT serious sometimes though!

[@thatgirlomaa]

Sooooo I’m just watching this to see if I’m one of these… and I’m not 😁… so I can go and rest now. Thanks Lucy

[@joanogbodu9741]

What of when your friend is always saying something not really nice or making fun of you in front of a guy you like

[@cherry_.blossom2024]

She’s trying to embarrass you and put you down in order to feel better about herself. I know that it may be difficult to do, but it would be in your best interest to talk to her about her behavior and make it clear that it needs to stop. If she refuses then you should distance yourself from her 😬 it’s not good to be friends with people who don’t respect you or your feelings.

[@joanogbodu9741]

@@cherry_.blossom2024 thanks 💯

[@Tricey.89]

Or Worst, a guy she likes but can tell he likes you….

[@casscass230]

Omg, I love this woman “You’re a Witch”💀 Thank you for this though❤

[@missbunny97]

Can we apply this to family members too😢

[@judithchiemela3619]

Thank you so much Ma'am. The lesson is so intriguing. I feel like I'm faced now with being with someone that don't have that self esteem. I feel a little stuck in that relationship.

[@olubunmiolaniyi2053]

I appreciated your wisdom, Lucy.

[@SimplyRuth222]

Thank you so much for this video! I am praying for better energy and people around me. I really would gaslight myself when I would notice these red flags, I’m the friend that would make excuses for them. Smh out here playing myself

[@ayak6317]

We all were

[@joanogbodu9741]

So people with low self-esteem shouldn't have friends???

[@NanaHoneyB]

if you make your low self-esteem someone else’s problem, which is almost always the case in some way, then no.

[@kossyokoye17]

This video is so on point 🥰.. I just recently got out of one toxic friendship and all this point you mentioned was what was happening while we were friends 🤦... From start to finish... Thank God I have learnt my lesson

[@diaz4days]

I feel you!! Me too! 😮‍💨

[@molvinerayolah7026]

Literally my big sis ❤❤I love this lady ❤❤

[@Faithajonay]

Thank you queen ❤ I used to be the friend with low self esteem at one point.

[@nortoinamariposa9167]

Hahaha the witches and wizards keep taking me out 😅

[@MyLucyBenson]

🤣🤣

[@tatianahd82]

Always looking forward to your sit down videos 🤭☺️🥰

[@QueenZsWorld]

this is so practical! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@priscillaagyeiwaa5192]

Listening to u is such a blessing🥰

[@kiaj.d.5855]

I don’t know why I watch these videos and I already know I need to cut sis off 🤣 I think I’m just looking for confirmation.

[@joanogbodu9741]

Not everything that is witch oh Some people aren't just happy with themselves so they can't be happy for others The competitive one; definitely a witch sha😂😭

[@BelleResells]

15:11 on that note ive also become weary of any one who seems too giddy when i share bad news

[@cherryivana1129]

3:52 this is so me 😩 I don’t know how to stop cause I be feeling like everyone is better than me even if they have less than I do

[@thetransformedone]

Our Fine Babe!!!❤

[@audiscarlett7002]

Now i understand why tout fingers were all over the place from the beginning. It was vert personal😂

[@NanaHoneyB]

🤣🤣🤣

[@Stacey.Kapula]

hi lucy please consider uploading your videos as podcasts as well , on apple music 🩷

[@kiaj.d.5855]

Yes! I would listen!

[@JujusOracleMsgs]

Love this! Definitely some things I had to learn, now I’m doing the personal and spiritual development needed to attract people for my highest and greatest good.

[@mariamhashiru3887]

I need a part 2 and 3 please ❤️❤️❤️🫶🏾🫶🏾

[@onlymila1996]

This really funny but interesting. Each thing you explain is my Mom. It makes sense why I am closer with my Dad. Interesting. You don't even know my Mom...ummm

[@tracccccyy]

always on time💅🏾

[@esikeogheneodudu7567]

Lucy need PROTECTION AT ALL COST❤

[@chiikahh2740]

I’m 3 of these, I’ll do better

[@sunflower5875]

Wishing you the best

[@mccnbinnie9840]

The wisdom you shared on this video is astomincal. I be trying to meet people where they are at, who's for me will not leave me.

[@usakoraw]

I knew someone who I am not friends with anymore... I tried to cut it off so many times without telling people why and the other people would keep trying to repair the friendship, like say "let's go here" and I would see this girl, "um what's going on?" and then it would be like my mom and my mom would say "oh she told me you guys havent hung out in a while" . She was going behind my back to get us to "hang out". AH! Anyways 1 thing she did which I thought was weird was I went to her place and it was the first time in a while and usually she would come to my place, she lived out in the boondocks basically and I lived in town. She always went into town for dr apts and grocery store and shopping. So it made sense to meet at my place. 1 time I went to her place and she legit said "it makes up for all the times I drove to your place". GURL.... You didn't had to come over, and it took like a min to come over while you were out and about. AND I told her as well that when I was in college, she lived near the college, didn't go to college, and I would go over to her place all the time on my way to and from and even did sleep overs at her place. It's kind of a trauma dump, I know, but it's like a weird thing to say to someone. We have times in our lives where we can visit 1 friend more than another. Or with 1 friend: at 1 time in our lives we visit them all the time because they happen to live in the city we go to college in and then once we stop and we move, we don't visit as much and they make a huge deal out of it. SMH. IDK. Anyone else?

[@j00066]

What about friends that's always always venting

[@carineakebeawah5330]

THANKS DARLING

[@divacandyful]

um with number 7, I think it's okay for people to have high standards in friendships and want their needs met in every way but I do think making it seem like that friend has issues, when really you just have extremely high standards that will lead you cutting off people left, right and centre, is unfair. Probably not what u meant by this advice, it's just something like this might make people think what they're doing is okay and their friend is being unreasonable when really they're just a bad friend.

[@leanaam.5385]

Whew, Lucy!! This video reminded me of my past in so many ways. I thank God for growth and change of environment.

[@favouratta6047]

The number 12one got me i use to be friends with a possessive person sadly i didn't notice it on time it was to much that even her sister knows how possessive she can be so she stays away from her but I was blinded and thought the sister was being mean to her until she showed me shege to i started dating a guy like that and oh boy!! this lady didn't let me rest she was going around to everyone/ places that knows us together she went telling them all that I got a man now and I've abandoned her which was surprising to me 😩😂cause i normally take her almost everywhere I went with the guy but still my girl was never satisfied and it's actually very draining having this type of person with a possessive character 🤦

[@Vee_kie01]

Number 4 point am definitely rooting for myself

[@Minnafropolis]

Those competitive & jealous friends need MFM prayers locate one in your country….Go down to Lagos to get overhauling deliverance 😅….Lucy this one hit correct ….love from a fellow youtuber from atl 🙌

[@kiaj.d.5855]

Yes! I’m cutting off a 30 year friend AGAIN because she’s jealous and overly competitive. It’s sad and I’m tired of it.

[@Ehinmowoblessing]

❤❤❤

[@PreciousPerrySolomon]

You are absolutely beautiful Lucy, updated make up routine please 🙏🏾 I love how your makeup turns out everytime. ❤

[@rayray_O7]

True

[@geekbliss4209]

Great video, thanks

[@randomlysika6004]

Bruhhh this red table is hot 🥵 😂

[@janet2u100]

Your accent is ridiculously cute 🥰

[@jemimahakange]

❤️❤️

[@CelineCatch]

❤❤